In this episode we talk about Shiloh's creepy-ass house, Lily moving out, and how life is all transitions. We dive in to all things core values, including examples of potential core values for each Enneagram number, and how core values might also be things that point you toward growth or how you get your needs met. There is some crossover between core values and love styles. You can find out more about loves styles in episode 18.
Jul 28, 2025•1 hr•Ep. 24
In this episode we look at cohabitation! We explore what each number might need when sharing space with others. You will get a glimpse at what our own polycule cohabiting looks like and some tips for helping all the numbers in your ‘cule feel at home! We also add ‘cohabitation’ to the ever growing list of words we don’t like!!
Jun 04, 2025•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 23
In this episode, we have more tips and tricks to navigate security in polyamory. We talk about the challenges that might trigger the insecurity, specific strategies to find security based on your enneagram number, and affirmations tailored to each number. Shiloh and Kellie both get on the soapbox on this episode and we find out Kellie doesn't like the work encroach. Listen in to learn how to be an experimenter in the science project that is you.
May 13, 2025•46 min•Ep. 22
There was so much good info for this one that we had to split it into 2 parts!! This week we will go over how polyamory brings up insecurity AND security and then we go through how each enneagram number seeks security in their relationships. We talk about how to recognize your own security patterns based on your type. Listen for boundary sandwiches and surprise shoes. And stayed tuned after the episode for a bit of our pre-show meeting where we talk about deep diving to the bottom of the pool!...
Mar 26, 2025•45 min•Ep. 21
In this episode, we talk about contentment vs striving in relationships. We figure out how to find out if you are over-striving or over-contenting and what you can do about it based on your enneagram number. We invented the word "strowth" because Shiloh discovered she does not like the word "striving" so we combined the words "striving" and "growth" because that felt nicer. You can find us on SubStack: https://canwegetyournumber.substack.com/ If you're interested in the Sacramento Enneagram grou...
Mar 08, 2025•53 min•Ep. 20
In this episode we have special guest Emily on to talk about her and Kellie's new polyamorous adventures. We'll talk about exactly what they've been up to and why, and we'll see what it triggered for both through an enneagram lens. We'll also get in to how it's making their relationship even stronger!
Feb 23, 2025•31 min•Ep. 19
In this episode we talk about love languages vs. love styles and how they intersect and overlap with Gottman's 7 principles for making relationships work. We want you to be able to use both tools to make really good relationships of all kinds! We do our best to decide which love style each enneagram numbers might fall under. We also talk about doing White Elephant in July, how Shiloh will wink the fuck out of you, and the very secret formula for relationship success!! Listen for these quotable g...
Feb 12, 2025•54 min•Ep. 18
In this week's episode we talk about using journaling as a processing tool for some of the sticky emotions brought up by your out-of-the-box relationships. We give you lots of journal prompts to help you get to the juicy good stuff using your enneagram number to guide you! We also talk about the fuck it fifties, why podcasting at night isn’t for us, how 2025 is the year we can do whatever we want, and why Shiloh gives a big thumbs down to the words salve and ointment. And listen to the end to he...
Jan 24, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 17
Where we learn that YOU deserve brownie batter too, you get to lick the sides and lest you think that this entire goal episode is about brownies, that when you move your shoulders back and forth it means floaty. Enjoy these and many other ways to incorporate your enneagram into your relationship and relating goals!! https://bethkempton.com/kokoro-2/ And stick around to the very end to listen to our outtakes!!! This is something new we are monkeying around with for 2025!...
Jan 08, 2025•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 16
In this episode we are going to be going through all the numbers to discuss what each one might need in order to have a fulfilling and fun poly holiday experience! We even have special guests Randy and Emily to talk about their own numbers!
Dec 17, 2024•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 15
In this episode, we talk about outgoing fun-loving 7s. Also known as the Enthusiast. We discuss how everyone's lost childhood message is still hidden inside of them, and that some things in relationship cannot be fixed.
Dec 01, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 14
Join us in this episode as we interview Kellie's wife, Emily, and do a deep dive on enneagram number 6! We talk about how Emily is scared, the polycule is recruiting for numbers 8, 3, and 4, and that Kellie can't stop scissoring!
Nov 16, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 13
In this episode we do a deep dive into 5s, the observer. We discover that 5s are energy conservationists, very equanimous (maybe this word is made up), objective, and it’s likely they don’t think you are stupid. We discuss our break from recording in September and how much we want you to have a gentle lovely time being polyamorous. Enjoy!
Oct 30, 2024•57 min•Ep. 12
Join us this week as we deep dive into Enneagram #4. We will be talking to our special guest Alyssa and getting in to all the dirt on needing to feel special, when hikes go awry, and being non-monogamous as a single parent.
Oct 12, 2024•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 11
In this episode we are on location in beautiful Pioneer, CA for our 3rd annual poly ‘camping’ trip! And we introduce all of our weirdos!
Sep 11, 2024•21 min•Ep. 10
In this episode, We learn what a paragon is, decide that we might have openings in the family for enneagrams 3, 4, and 8, and why you need a 3 to calendar for your polycule. Also here is the link to get your own mini dip! Minidip.com
Aug 27, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 9
In this episode of Can We Get Your Number, we do a deep dive into Kellie's number - Enneagram 2. We'll get in to why she wants to be loved by the world, the torture of not being able to help, and how to stay out of the web of neglect. We also talk about how polyamory is just a different type of hard than monogamy and why we choose this kind of hard.
Aug 13, 2024•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 8
Number one this week, we do a deep dive into Enneagram number one. Our special guest is Randy J. Warner, the podcast producer and Mr. Shiloh. We talk about frosting, Wild Boyz, and Randy finds out he is actually a 1 when he thought he was a 9. Join us for this super fun and funny interview!
Jul 27, 2024•1 hr 27 min•Ep. 7
In this episode, Kellie and Shiloh do a deep dive into Enneagram 9. Shiloh is the resident 9 and she gets in to all the details on what it's like to be a peacemaker. She talks about why she doesn't want to be annihilated, how trauma combined with anxious attachment is a shit sandwich, and how probably everyone hates her. It's good, juicy stuff!
Jul 13, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 6
In this episode, we deep dive in to Enneagram 8's: the Challenger. We discover that 8's get off on being big, alive, assertive, and highly charged personalities. We discuss different ways that will help you know if you're an 8 and what your superpowers are. And we think we make up the word conflictive, but we actually make up the word conflicty!
Jun 29, 2024•55 min•Ep. 5
In Episode 4, Kellie and Shiloh talk about the head triad: enneagram numbers 5, 6, and 7! There is talk about avoiding the danger zone, collecting underpants, and many other offshoots and tangents!! Enjoy this episode!
Jun 15, 2024•52 min•Ep. 4
Shiloh and Kellie talk about the heart triad, enneagram numbers 2, 3, and 4. They talk about how feelings are jerks, solve all the problems for 2s, and reference Jesus, Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings. Enjoy this episode and see how it all fits together…or doesn’t!
May 31, 2024•54 min•Ep. 3
Kellie and Shiloh talk about the Gut Triad, how those numbers (8, 9, 1) might react when their partners have NRE, and a glimpse into Randy and Shiloh: the early years.
May 18, 2024•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 2
In this episode, Shiloh and Kellie introduce the Can We Get Your Number? podcast, types of non-monogamous relationships, and the general outline of the nine enneagram types. We talk about how the enneagram could be useful in navigating various polyamorous challenges and give some insight into our own brand of family chaos. Plus, you will get to hear the juicy details of one of our own personal challenging conversations, and much, much more. We are so excited to take this journey with you!!!...
May 04, 2024•58 min•Ep. 1
