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This is my second episode about the Ancient Greek Olympics. The first one I did was archive episode number 20. In that episode... I summarized the full history of the ancient Greek Olympics. This included weird events, strange rules, funny training methods, naked athletes, and the origin of the modern marathon race. If you enjoyed that episode, then you'll love this one also. I've dug up a bunch of bizarre stories about real...
ancient Olympic athletes that will shock you, inspire you, and probably make you laugh. Get ready for stories about a devious brother. a sneaky mother, a criminal boy, a killer statue, a devastating famine, a bunch of ridiculous laws. the world's strongest pinky finger, and a four-year bromance between a man and a bull. In the near future, I'll take both of these episodes.
about the ancient Greek Olympics and stitched them together into a one-hour extended bonus episode for my Soak Plus members. Time. for a quick break. If you're like me, then you're probably too busy to shop, prep, and cook quality meals for yourself. No worries, though, because factor. the sponsor of this episode, has you covered. Factor will send you fresh, chef-made gourmet meals that are ready to heat and eat in two minutes.
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Plus, free shipping. That's code FACTORPODCAST at factormeals.com slash factorpodcast to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Alright, back to the episode. I hope this episode distracts and relaxes your overactive brain squirrels. Ancient Greek Olympics Part 2
Fascinating stories about Olympic champions. In the prior episode, I mentioned that participation in the ancient Olympic Games was limited only to males, but I also highlighted that a woman was recorded as the victor of a chariot race in the 96th. and 97th Ancient Olympic Games. On the downside, though, I also explained that she only trained and owned the horses.
she wasn't actually allowed to participate in the chariot races. Well, I've dug up some more details and fascinating facts to share with you about this remarkable woman. Her name was Canisca, and she was a wealthy Spartan princess who was born in 442 BC. When she was young, her brother... encouraged her to breed horses and compete them in chariot races. Now, this sounds like quite a noble deed by her brother, especially in a time...
when women were not usually encouraged to have any type of participation in sports. But Plutarch, the old-timey Greek philosopher, proposed that her brother might have had ulterior motives. Plutarch suggested that Kniska's brother wanted her to win chariot races to demonstrate that it was money rather than manly grit. that one chariot races. But why was that so important to her brother? Plutarch doesn't really explain it in a way that makes any sense to me.
Which is probably why modern scholars have come up with a simpler explanation. They proposed Kineska's brother had political ambitions. and wanted to bring attention to his election campaign. So he helped his sister to raise champion chariot horses, and then his political ambitions would benefit. from her fame. But that theory also doesn't make much sense to me. Why did Kineska's brother train her to raise champion horses?
instead of just doing it himself for the direct fame. That just seems like a much simpler plan. I've come up with three possibilities why he didn't just raise. champion horses himself. Possibility number one. A female chariot champion would receive more positive attention than a male chariot champion. Now, in the past 200 years, I would think that would be true. But over 2,000 years ago, I'm dubious. In 396 BC,
I would think that most, perhaps not all, men were still antagonistic towards a female in sports. Let's move on to possibility number two. Maybe he was just too busy shaking hands and kissing babies as part of his political campaign to put time into raising horses. But if so... Then how did he find the time to teach his sister how to raise champion horses? Yeah, I don't like that one either. So here's my third possibility.
He was just lousy at breeding, racing, and training horses for chariot racing. But Caniska wasn't. Yeah, the dude probably didn't know. which end of a horse the oats went in. I like that reason the best. Probably because it amuses me. Overall, I'm just unsure. how much credit I should give Kiniska's brother for her achievements. But as a Spartan woman, some credit should go to her Spartan culture.
While most Greek women at that time were not encouraged to pursue athletic activities, Spartan women were trained to excel at sports. Well, elite. and rich Spartan women were encouraged, but it was still more progressive than other cultures. Which begs the question, why did Spartan culture support their women to be athletic and physically strong. Spartan society believed that strong women would produce strong children, who would grow up to be
Yeah, you guessed it. Strong soldiers. War motives aside, this cultural support did help Kineska become the first female victor. at the ancient Olympic games. Let's tackle another big question about Kineska and her Olympic victory. Was she allowed to attend the games? and watch her horses win. The history of women being allowed to attend the ancient Olympic Games is a bit fuzzy. Some sources say,
that no women were allowed except for one special priestess, but that may not be the full story. It seems that unmarried women were allowed to attend. and that it was just married women who were not allowed to attend. This policy against married women attending may have been enacted after male Olympic athletes started competing in the nude. Yeah, we can probably guess how that rule likely evolved.
The male rule makers of that time probably didn't want their wives staring at young, ripped, naked men at the Olympic Games. You can imagine how that proposal probably got a unanimous vote by a bunch of out-of-shape politicians. So if Canisco wasn't married, then she may have been able to watch her horses win the chariot race. Sure enough, there isn't any historical evidence that she was married or...
even had any children. So it is likely that she was unmarried and she was allowed to attend the Olympic Games. At least I hope. That is the way it was. That would warm my heart. On the cold-hearted side, it seems pretty firm that most married women... couldn't attend the ancient Olympic Games. But what if you were a married woman and you snuck in? What was the punishment? If the punishment...
is just getting yelled at and then getting kicked out, then maybe the chance to ogle some hot Chippendale athletes is worth the risk. Well, It turns out that the punishment was pretty severe. The married woman would be thrown off a cliff. Yikes. I even found the original source for this law. It was recorded around 150 AD by the Greek traveler Pausanias in his document titled Description of Greece. Here.
is the original translation. On the way to Olympia, before you cross the Alfeos River, there is a precipitous mountain with high rocks. The local citizens have a law that women are cast down from this mountain when they are caught coming to the Olympic Games, or even if they just cross the river. on the days prohibited for them. Yeah, so probably not worth it for a married woman to sneak into the Olympic Games.
Let's ponder another situation. Could widows attend the ancient Olympic Games? I would think that if a woman's husband dies, then she would have been considered unmarried and then allowed to attend the ancient Olympic Games. I mean, come on already. Have a heart. but I found an example of a widow who wasn't allowed to attend the games. Like me, though, she thought that the rule was pretty stupid, and so she snuck into the games.
I know what your first thought is. Was she caught? Unfortunately, yes. Which is why we know all about her today. And I know what your next question is. Was she thrown off a cliff? Let's hold that question and unravel her story a bit more chronologically. Let's begin with why she snuck in and how she snuck in. First off, she didn't sneak in. because she was a dirty voyeur who wanted to ogle sweaty streakers. She snuck in because her son was competing in the games that day. Yeah.
No way was she going to miss this glorious moment. And she wasn't just some supportive mother, though. She actually came from a family of some of the best athletes. in ancient Greece. Her father, brothers, and nephew had all been repeat victors at the ancient Olympics or other big athletic events. Let's move on to the next big question. How did she sneak into the games? If only men were allowed to enter and watch the games, then guess what she did?
Yeah, you got it. She disguised herself as a man. Not just any man, though. She disguised herself as one of the male trainers for her son. So she just snuck in as a member of her son's training team. And it worked perfectly. She settled in among a bunch of other male trainers. waited for her son's event, and then cheered him on, perhaps trying to yell and cheer in a fake deep voice while also being an overexcited mother.
Try to visualize that without giggling a little bit. Now, did her son win his event? You bet. And this is where things went wrong. When her son was proclaimed the victor, she wanted to go congratulate him. So she leaped up and jumped over a small wall that was in front of her. As she jumped over this small wall, her toga, tunic, or whatever she was wearing, opened up and flashed her lady parts to others around her.
This precise moment was also mentioned in those writings by that ancient Greek traveler, Pausanias. Here is what he wrote. She Being a widow disguised herself exactly like a gymnastic trainer and brought her son to compete at Olympia when her son was victorious. she jumped over the enclosure in which they keep the trainers, and in doing so, bared her person. Yep, and that was the point.
at which she got busted. She was brought before a panel of judges to be tried for sacrilege and sentenced to death. Remember, the law stated. that for her violation, she would be thrown off a cliff. Luckily, she was allowed to state her case and defend herself. She explained, how her father, three brothers, nephew, and son had all been eight-time victors in the ancient games. She pleaded that if any woman...
could ever be allowed to defy the ban, then it should be her. The judges agreed, and she was acquitted. Happy ending. But the judges and lawmakers... were worried that news about this case may encourage other women to also use the same trick. So they passed a law that all trainers must strip naked. before entering the Olympic Stadium. You may be curious to know how many other women prior to this situation were caught sneaking into the Olympics.
and thrown off a cliff. The good news is that there isn't any evidence that the punishment was ever carried out. I don't know about you. but that does allow me to sleep a little bit easier. Let's move on to Theagenes, a famous male champion at the ancient Olympics. This is a very bizarre story that is not about something he did, yet he was sort of accused of it and put on trial for it.
Let me begin with the backstory and childhood of Theogenes. This guy was known for his strength and speed, even at a young age. When he was only nine years old, he supposedly stole a large bronze statue from the public central market. Every day after school, He would walk home past the market and see this large bronze statue of a god. It may have been a statue of Zeus, it is unclear, but regardless, little Theogenes.
really liked the statue. He didn't simply admire it, but rather, in the spirit of modern-day materialism, he wanted to covet it. And when I say covet, I mean possess. And when I say possess, I mean steal. So like any young boy with partially formed morals, he decided to steal it one day. Keep in mind, though, this statue wasn't just resting on a pile of sand, waiting for someone to tip it over and drag it away. It was fixed to a heavy platform.
Somehow, the little hoodlum tore it off its fixed base so he could bring it home. And don't visualize that he put the bronze statue in a wheelbarrow. Or... dragged it home with his pet donkey. Oh no. The little nine-year-old Theogenes carried the massive statue home by himself. Of course, he got caught. After all, there was a platform in the public market that was missing its statue. And little Theagenes, like a dum-dum.
was posting pictures of himself posing with the statue on his Instagram account. Well, okay, that's not exactly what happened. But word got around pretty quickly. Hot goss has never needed the internet to spread quickly. Once the citizens found out, they were outraged. by his highly disrespectful act. The local leaders debated whether they should execute the child for his deed. One elder, however,
suggested that they have the boy return the statue to its proper place. The others agreed, and little Theogenes was told he just had to put the statue back. Okay, I'm starting to see a pattern with ancient Greek laws. It seems their first reaction to a rule violation is to kill the perp. You sneak into an Olympic game, you get killed. You steal a public statue, you get killed. But then, when the crime happens...
They realize how ridiculous their initial punishment was, and then they back off. Good for you, old-timey Greek elders. Anyway. Little Theogenes is not killed, but rather a bunch of elders frown at him and tell him to put the statue back. Once again, without a wheelbarrow or a donkey. Little boy wonder carries this statue back to the public market like it was a stuffed animal. As you can imagine, this mini Hercules...
grew up to be a great athlete. He was so skilled and dangerous at boxing in particular that most of his opponents didn't survive. He had two Olympic victories, one in boxing, of course, and another in the combat sport of pancreation. He also achieved victories in other sports. and at other events, totaling about 1,400 victories. Soon after his death, the athletic achievements of Theagenes
were memorialized with a giant bronze statue that was placed in the public temple, and this is where this strange situation occurs. One day, a young boy stole the bronze statue of Theogenes from the temple. No, I'm just joking. But that would have been full circle hilarious. The actual incident is a bit stranger than that. The Agenes had many victories when he was alive, which meant that there were many athletes.
who lost to Theagenes. One of these opponents in particular was quite the sore loser. After the bronze statue of Theagenes was erected in public, This sore loser went to the statue every night to express his anger. Different sources say that he did different things. Overall, There was some mix of yelling, cursing, and muttering at the statue, along with some mix of beating, whipping, and shaking of the statue.
Angry people do bizarre things, so any or all of this is quite possible, regardless of how he decided to attack the statue. on a regular basis. One night, the statue came loose, fell on him, and killed him. This is tragic, of course. But it is also ironic that once again the poor fellow was defeated by Theagenes. Now, that is not the end of this strange story.
But rather, it's the beginning of this strange part of the story. When the priests came into the temple the next day, they found the man's body under the great statue. They shared the unfortunate news with the Mance family members. And the two sons of this guy are devastated, of course. And they want some type of revenge. for the death of their father. So what did they do? Yep. They accuse the statue of murder and demand a trial. You and I.
might think that this is a big bag of crazy carrots. But back in ancient Greece, murder was a crime that could be committed by any person, any animal, or... any object. So yes, the case did go to trial and the statue was found guilty of murder as punishment for its grisly deed. The statue of Theogenes was dragged onto a boat and then dropped into the ocean. But the story doesn't end here either. In the subsequent years.
This area of ancient Greece was struck by crop failure and famine. The locals, who were suffering and desperate, asked their priestess, to consult the oracle for a solution. The oracle proclaimed that to bring fertility back to their fields, they needed to welcome back All exiled individuals. So, the people did this. And yet, the crop still didn't grow. Back to the priestess they marched.
with shrugs and shouts of, Yo, what's up? We did what you asked. The priestess had another tête-à-tête with the oracle, and then told the people, You forgot about the sunken statue of Theagenes. Committed to ending the famine, a bunch of fishermen went out and used their nets. to recover the statue of Theogenes from the ocean. The statue was returned to its original location in the temple, and soon after, prosperity returned to their crops.
From that day forward, the statue of Theagenes was worshipped for its healing properties. Although, I'm sure some people worshipped and kneeled. from a safe distance, just in case that killer statue got a little tippy again. Let's move on to Milo of Croton. another famous male athlete known for his victories at the ancient Olympics. Throughout his life, Milo was known for his incredible strength.
and he was happy to show it off. Today, tough guys like to demonstrate feats of strength by bending steel nails, tearing phone books in half. or pulling huge trucks down the road with their teeth. Well, about 2,000 years ago, Milo didn't have any of those modern props. but he still came up with fun ways to flex his machismo. I'm calling these the Milo Challenges, and I've given each one a number.
Milo challenged number one. He would hold his arm out with fingers outstretched and challenge people to attempt to bend his little pinky finger. Milo challenge number two. He would hold a pomegranate in one hand and challenge others to try to take it from him. Milo challenge number three. He would stand on a greased iron disc and challenge people to push him off. Milo challenge number four. He would hold a four-horse chariot.
with one hand, while the horses try to pull the chariot and break his grip or drag him forward. As you may suspect, no humans. or horses, ever succeeded at beating Milo at any of these four challenges. And now for the last and most visually disturbing challenge. At least to me. Milo challenge number five. He would tie a cord around his head so it looked like a headband.
Then he would hold his breath, make the veins in his head bulge out, and break the cord with his bulging head veins. For some reason. That challenge makes me a little queasy. I think my brain can only handle so much extreme machismo before nausea sets in. Let's move on. In what Olympic sport did Milo focus all of this incredible brute strength? The answer is wrestling. His first Olympic victory in wrestling was at the 60th Olympic Games, which were held in 540 BC. And he continued.
to be the wrestling champion at Olympic Games number 62, 63, 64, 65, and 66. So yeah, he was a six-time Olympic wrestling champion and considered one of the greatest wrestlers ever. As a reminder, each of the ancient Olympics... was four years apart, just like today. So Milo needed some type of special training program to keep in shape during the four years between each Olympics.
And boy, oh boy, did he have a special program. I'm not sure if I should be amused or impressed by it, but here it is. He would begin each four-year gap between Olympic Games by getting a newborn bull calf. Every day, he would carry the young bull. on his back for a full four years. Yeah, so by the end of four years, he was carrying an adult bull. So much machismo. Now, I couldn't resist trying to figure out how much weight he carried.
During this four-year training period, I started by looking up the average weights of male cattle over their first four years. Then I reduced those weights by 40% because cattle today are jacked up with roids and dinosaur DNA. Here are my calculations. On day one, Milo carried a newborn bull calf that weighed about 50 pounds or 23 kilograms. Yeah, that's quite doable. At the end of year one, Milo carried a young bull that weighed about 600 pounds, or 270 kilograms.
Sounds pretty tough. And at the end of four years, Milo carried an adult bull that weighed about 1,200 pounds, or... 540 kilograms. Hmm. Is it really feasible that Milo carried this bull every day for the full four years? Probably not. I'm sure part of this is legend. But I must say, I am greatly amused by the visual of a grown man. carrying a large farm animal everywhere he goes for four years. I even like to think that they formed a tight bromance. But you're about to hear.
how that didn't really happen. At the end of each of his four-year training programs with these bulls, Milo would carry his bull buddy. into the Olympic Stadium, kill em, roast em, and eat em. My goodness, what a heartless monster. If some Olympic athlete ever offers you friendship and a piggyback for four years, run away because you now know. It isn't going to end well. As heartless as Mr. Machismo was, his training program with the Bulls did result in six wrestling championships.
at the Olympic Games. So what was Milo's next big adventure after he retired from Olympic wrestling? Well... In 511 BC, he successfully commanded an army to victory. And this wasn't just a small squad of his drinking buddies. Milo commanded an army of a hundred thousand soldiers, and he defeated an enemy force of three hundred thousand soldiers.
Annie did this while wearing his Olympic victory wreaths and dressed in a lion's skin. Keep that vision of Milo dressed in a lion's skin in the back of your mind. It will be quite relevant in a minute. And when I say relevant, I mean ironic. And when I say ironic, I really mean that a lion will get revenge on Milo. for wearing that lion pelt. Okay, let's wrap this up. Years later, after his success in commanding an army,
Milo was casually traveling the countryside. He met a villager one day who was trying unsuccessfully to split a tree stump with a hammer. and a wedge. Milo offered to split the stump with his bare hands. The villager said, have at it, and then took the opportunity to go home. and get some food. After the villager left, Milo put his fingers in the crack of the stump which was being held open by a wedge.
The wedge then slipped out, trapping Milo's fingers in the stump. It is believed that while he was defenseless, a lion or maybe some wolves, came along and ended his life. An unfortunate ending of one of the greatest wrestlers and Olympic champions who ever lived. And also a reminder that the laws of the jungle rarely show forgiveness, unlike the laws of the ancient Greeks.
This is the end of the episode. If you want to hear over 90 more episodes of Calm History, including many that are over an hour, but without any ads, promos, or breaks, then just become a Silk Plus member by using the link in the episode notes. It's free for a limited time.