Episode 307: Pregame - What Planet am I On?

Am I? Okay? Like what planet am I on? Calm Down with Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio.

Sorry, I'm just so dialed into our significant others media pick up or brother new podcast.

Okay, the fact he goes, hey, I don't want.

To break it to you, but we're making headlines. I go, oh, Jesus, what now? That's never a good thing to wake up to.

Eyes ever, Welcome to the pregame in the off season, my little lover.

First up, we've got Marsha Brady. First of all, you with the Marsha Brady name. I love you, Marsha Brady nine. What is something you are not so good going to do this off season? Put on makeup? I mean you're looking on that, Scara. What am I not going to do this off season? I don't know?

Do you have?

What do you?

I mean?

I was gonna get I was going to say something funny, but it'll get traction, so I can't.

I need to really, I need to temper what I'm going to say. I don't know. I haven't really thought about that, Marcia. Marsha. Marsha, that's a great question.

You know what I'm really trying to do Marcia is well, obviously not be in the sun because I couldn't be more white. I need to get a tan.

And that's good for you because guess who has this business?

Talk about it on the Big Show. Aaron has an announcement. You want to talk about traction, I don't even mean it.

I'm really gonna have to keep everybody updated on the cream I'm going to have to use.

No, it's not a mustache. We'll talk about it later in the Big Show, but I'm not going to do this off season.

I'm going to try really hard to be present in whatever it is that I'm doing.

I think, you know, we've talked about it before.

We get we fall victim to our phones and our devices and all that kind of stuff, which is why I like being at the ranch.

I don't have service a.

Lot of places here, so it fortunately it's bad for our communication, but outside of that, it's good to just be, you know, in the elements. And I'm gonna obviously illustrating in this uniform for the next six months.

Yeah, I don't know. I got to think about that. It's a good question, Nick, I love that. Yeah, I'm going to come back to that. What am I not planning on doing?

Okay, MEMI four seven, nine eight, what are your most important guest room necessities?

I'm setting up.

A renovated guest room in my home. I love this we as a candle.

What else?

I like a tissue box. These are all probably really super ones. I can't wait to hear what Crisa has to say. I like to set up, but I also realize I gotta do a revamp of our of our little home here.

Because I need like new.

I feel like my lotions and my shampoos and my body washes are not acceptable.

I need to step it up a bit. I'm going to stop you right there, because Aaron is you. Guys, no one ever wants to have Aaron as a guest after you've been to her house. Because when you have lutron shades that you can click a button on and they wake you up in the morning, and you have like five rows of Serena and lily bedding, Aaron's bedding

Come, what did you feel like?

It's just not cozy comfy. It's like it's like I hate this word, but like raw, it's like sandpaper. It's cool and like the like, oh, I'm going from my like you know, zen vibe. But to sleep on no, no linen sheets so comfy cozy sheets. Also, what I really like to do is I like to put a picture of the person that's staying in that guest room in a frame next to the bed so it feels personalized. So it's whether it be a picture with like you and I if you were the guest or whoever had.

A picture of me in every bedroom? How pain is welcome to my home?

Yeah, so something that's definitely a candle, And then I would say, yeah, good bathroom stuff. Never ever, ever ever have a bar of soap? Dinge mcdinge ew, No.

You don't have no. Okay, let me rephrase. You have a new bar. It's in the box.

I'm saying, don't ever have like an old bar of soap like in there where you're like, who's used this?

But then that's a whole debate in itself.

Do you really well, I like to use a bar of soap and I like to use like a body wash.

But if if you're coming to visit, would you use a bar of soap?

I will say this, I will use a bar of soap on my feet. I know that sounds gross, but like I want a body wash on the body and like the areas I need to scrub, Like if we've been out and you're like, you know your feet are dirty wearing sandals or your heels, Like we're scrubbing with soap. We don't need to waste them a soap body wash on our feet.

Okay, let's just you know it's there's a time and a play. We can do a whole to tour on this. It's great. It's great.

Christ. Now, if here's another question, one more when you're choosing a candle for a guest room. We just had a guest stay with us, and you know, I got the I got the smoke candles going, I got the what's the candle?

We like here, what's the uh baby's dip teek dip teek?

But that it's the one that smells like the ray.

It's the Yeah, it's the fear. It's the gray one. It's the fear does something I don't know.

It smells like a.

Fireplace that's lit. Obviously they look good lit, okay, even if they're not lit. Christmas story to work with me here, So I had that going. Plus you know us, we doubse ourselves like don't care. And we had a guest stay. It was like, I'm so sensitive to smell, and I was like, well, I am the wrong house to stay in. So what kind of candle are you using in a guest room? And do you have it already lit? Like the wick?

Like is it burnt or is it fresh?

So I like to do a swap out depending on who the guest is. If it's someone I know and then don't care, then it's okay. If the wick is already burnt, what I'll do is I'll go in light the candle, take that one out, replaced with a new and so they're like, wow, it's wells so good in here, and that candle hasn't even been lit, and I was like, tricked you. It's been lit all day, prepping you for

Not sure?

I'm mac fifteen wife, and I decided no V Day gifts. She still needs something, right, No, I'm Mac fifteen. You know what I did this year Valentine's Day? I wrote stave a card. I did cards. I just got right out in front of it. I said, we still haven't put our you'll appreciate this our Christmas gifts away. We've just put them in a guest bedroom and we still have to put them away, if stuff that we've got each other, or gifts that we've gotten from other people.

Jared? Valentine's a gift. No, and I didn't even get him a card, and I just realized.

That, Oh, by the way, it's pay back for last year.

It is. I got two bouquets this year.

Massive one is like basically, it's either my funeral or my wedding downstairs. And so kudos to him. I still have the card he wrote me, I'm a jerk and get him a card. And we had people here and we went to dinner and he had a little cake made with all the girls' names on It's day.

You are loved.

Okay, that's really cute, real I'm cute crap. And I just realized that, am I Okay, Like what planet am I on?

You know what you're doing? Just fine? Your husband loves you.

He mixed up for last year where Jarrett may or may not have forgotten about Valentine's Day and it was Aaron's first Valentine's Day's mom so like that was a thing.

Yeah, you're fine. Everybody finds something for Mac. No, we got mat We took Max to dinner. Yeah, yeah, that's great.

You need to read that card though, Yeah, that's true. Should I read it on air? Well?

Okay, Agent positivity, Well I am positively lovingivity.

Try that again.

Oh a page of positivity got a knee glasses though, by the way, did you get to mean Taylor?

We all want to know. No, no, yet we will know. And this is starting to get really pathetic, sad.

We have went across the world to see her, hoping at some point, I don't know, we would meet her.

Maybe in British beverage with her a key.

That's not why we went to the Era's tour, not that we thought we were going to her. We wanted to go to go, but we let's I think it's time, let's lay out exactly what we want. And I don't think it's asking a lot, because I think we've heard from sources.

It would go great.

Sore says, that's how McAfee says it. Sore says, I don't want it.

Okay, you start, how well, how have we manifested our meetings?

Okay, broad stroking this. I don't like that word stroking. It's gross and broad stroking strokes all right to to uh just generalize this. We it's very clear we love Taylor, we hope she loves us. In our mind, we don't want our first interaction with her to just be a high and by like in passing like she's working, we're working wave no, Aaron and I all based off of last year's Super Bowl party where she is saying I don't care champagne in one trend other glass.

Yeah, just being us.

We are hopeful, hopeful that our meeting and interaction with Taylor somehow resembles that, and we are willing to wait for the perfect moment, very similar to my interaction with Michael Jordan. I will dodge it until it's the right time and it just hasn't been the right time yet.

Uh huh.

I want good lighting, I want good music, privacy.

Is this a date? Are we going to date with her? And I want cocktails with her?

And I want to sit and laugh and talk about all the things.

In a sound proof room because the amount of things that we have to say, so.

Many things, no one can overhear this conversation.

Oh I mean to sign an NDA, yeah.

From the stuff that'll come out of my mouth, you know? Is that about to ask?

So we have not met Taylor yet, but we are hoping that it is well, we know it's worth the weight, and we are manifesting that it will happen with all of those things contingent.

It's like we have a writer for our meeting with her.

Seriously, Musca, I think that Coca in Canada, Yeah, Lake Muscoga.

Well, this question is for you, dear.

How do you make it look so easy to walk in heels on the field? You did look well, that's very sweet, But I will say this. You have to put all your weight on your toes. You can't rock back because now that heel's sinking in. So you've got to just be like a ballerina and keep the weight on the toes and know that it is worth the bunions, blisters, whatever you're going to get, because I'm not though that has to stand on a field for four hours. I get to come in and I get to come out.

Cool.

I remember I bought these low rise red pants because she had those on in the party scene. Remember the Britney spears. Frankie beeB hants that like just hit your hip and if you had any fucking muffin top, it was just falling right over. But god, she was that movie's fantastic. So anyways, did she have a scarf as well?

In that?

Like she had the little top and like a scarf got too great and she made going.

Out looks so cool?

So cool, yeah, and effortless and fun and the whole thing for any of you that haven't seen because if you guys listen to our podcast and you are young, the sweetest thing might not be atop your radar, but you have to rent it in such a great movie.

So seriously, muscoca, just seriously suck it up.

Put those toes right into the front of your shoes, and just it's worth it in.

The okay Johnson two eight nine to eight. How do you compromise with your partner when buying new furniture?

Oh?

Yeah, this is, yeah, this is You're really good at this and we are kind of learning through a couple of things about where to spend and not to spend, spend where you need to write.

I mean, this is your world. You go.

Oh, I just never I feel like a great I don't have a lot of contacts, but a good contact to have find a good custom furniture builder, because the markup on furniture is absolutely insane. Now if you don't, I mean that just comes from like the designs of me. But if you don't have access to that, I'd say go to a restoration outlet, or go to like buying or during you know it's President's Day, we can find

Again, you just need to. You can't just be impulsive.

I'm gonna tell you this too, and I've said this before, like high lows Living spaces has great pieces that you can mix in and out, like accent chairs and stuff like that. You don't need to just completely blow your budget on accent chairs and you might get bored of them, so don't spend as much there. Spend a lot on the couch, Spend a lot on your bed and your mattress because you spend the most time in there, and then as far as the other stuff goes, just mix

I don't like that. I like painting dirty out of Creighton barrel. Yeah, I don't like.

Did you ever see the Friends where they did all pottery barn? No, Rachel walks in and she's like, oh my god, you have this teable and he's like, yeah, with the sheets too, like it was such a funny hole.

I don't know, but I need to Actually. That's what going back to our original question.

What I will be doing, not what I won't be doing the off season, is catching up on Friends episodes. I feel like I haven't seen any of them, but I, oh my.

God, you said you're Rachel Green. You're Jennifer Aniston in the show. You are every time I watch it. That's the nicest thing you could say.

Blake Johnson, though, I would say, to answer your question, how do you compromise with your partner on buying furniture? I would just say, whatever they really want, give them that, and then you get the other stuff, like if they're really except don't compromise on the couch, Like everyone will see the living room, not everyone's going in your bedroom.

Think about it.

I think I've been living in front of her? How long I think I've been in your bedroom one time? When I first was like what is that phase?

I was thinking in our bedroom?

So yeah, nobody, it's like no one goes in the bedroom, Like you're not like hey, unless it's like a brand new house and like then you're giving a tour. But very rarely are we all gonna go like sit on your bed, Like that's weird.

I had some things I want to talk about.

Like you're sitting on your couch and in your living room, so spend your money there. But just if the dude, oh sorry, if he wants a recliner apps a fusolutely.

Not I'm sorry, Yeah, recliners.

You wonder if you're like, crank that thing in his feet, lift up on the old lazy boy. No, they can have a man k for that stuff. They make really cute accent chairs that aren't like obscenely large lazy pool. I'm not no offense lazy. But if you want a sponsor I'll find the place for you.

But sure, I don't know.

I think, don't compromise on the living room, give him anything else he wants.

I actually just make out with you. Yeah, just actually good.

Honestly, if just give just just take care of him in another way and then get that god damn couch you want.

You know what I mean? Men are so easy. Make him agree while you're in the act. Yeah, yes? Or no, Kristin, Oh this is you?

Sorry, no, Kristin, Hazel, I got a new job after working at the same place for the last seventeen years.

How do I call my nerves?

Well, first of all, congratulations, Kristin, that's so exciting. It's hard to change, especially after being in a job for seventeen years.

That's wow. How do I call my nerves?

I think that you just remind yourself of all the reasons you wanted to leave your last job and about all the exciting new things that you're going to gain in this new new position. Whether that's new skill sets, whether that's new friends, whether that's new routines. Even your drive to work can be something new. I think you embrace the change and remind yourself that that's why you wanted to change up the job.

Yeah, that's exactly why you wanted to do it, And kind of being the new kid on the block is a little exciting, isn't it? Yeah? Is it? Yeah? Yeah?

I think about I mean, I know change. I've always do you like change? I don't know this about you. I feel like you can change?

You do?

Yeah, I'm not good with it. And then when it happens and it's like going, well, I mean, I think I get on board, but I wouldn't say I'm someone that daves right into change.

No, Melane, you don't dive right in. Apparently my accent just changed, so I love I didn't. Yeah, I guess maybe you don't like change.

I love change. I embrace it. But that's a slippery slope because then hence why Steve's always like, uh, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and break up with me because you love change. I'm like, okay, let's relax, But I do I like having something new. But yeah, for you, I would say for this, Kristen, for you, I would say, embrace it and be excited. Let us know how it goes. That's exciting to hear a new job. Yeah, cute all right, we want to talk about or maybe nothing on the picture.

No, I'm kidding. We always have something to talk about, so let's do it.

Re Entry is here. We got great headlines. You guys get ready enjoy us on the big show.

How Mad.

Calm Down with Erin and Carissa is a production of iHeartRadio.

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