Welcome back to part two of Ruby Waller. In the last episode, Ruby told us about her terrible stepfather, her first encounter with Charles Dickens and how she met the doctor that would eventually become her husband. In this next episode, she's going to talk in detail about Urania cottage. What a Badger game is. And what happened when Ruby met Charles Dickens later in life, when he was an old man. there was one night is my husband close by? I'm just looking.
Oh, no, he's in his practice, so his door's shut. Well, I should tell you I'll just turn my chair around and face the fire so he can't hear me. But there was one night before I, , before I was, I found myself in the Thames and was in, in the prison where I met Joe, that Dickens and I had gone back to the rookery. And we'd had a, we'd knocked back quite a few gins, and I'd had it by this point of who this dandy was, and why was he always picking me up, and why was he always just talking.
As I said, I was an idiot. I should have just been grateful that he didn't want to hurt me. And after a few drinks, I straddled his lap. And I kissed him full on, because mind you, he wouldn't touch me. I kissed him full on, and we were forehead to forehead, and I basically said to him, Stop pretending. You think you're a little gentleman, don't you? You really think you can pull it off, but secretly you'd love to know what it's like to just run away, and let go, and be one of us.
You'd never admit it, but you're dying to try it, ain't you? Oh, and the look on his face, I knew I'd gotten to him then. And I grabbed his hand and I said, let's see how brave you are. And I brought him to the second floor. And up there they had a bit of a, I suppose you'd word use the word orgy. Do they still use that word where you are? Um, Oh, very good. And that's what it was. And these poor girls were with their clients and there was drink all over.
And. puke and sweat and girls who were so drunk and had various fluids all over their dresses that the dresses were no longer one color because the dye on these beautiful silk gowns had been ruined. By all of this and one girl that we encountered, , she was so ready to pass out that the men were mixing water and gin and mustard powder and they were forcing it down her throat and then she would puke and pass out again and they thought it was grand.
And I brought him up, I brought this dandy up because I wanted to see just how far he was gonna go and he looked around as if he'd seen this before. He wasn't shocked. And then a great big, man came over and shoved his girl into Dickens arms and he was trying to grab me and he told him, he said, here, you have a go with this one, she's nice and tight, would you say I have a go with yours and and Dickens, I will give him credit, he defended me like a true knight of old.
He clocked that man, knocked him over and then we both ran out of the room and wouldn't admit that he had fun. And I was still chiding him, going, You, you know how to handle your fives well. Come on, let's go back in and do it again. And he threw me up against the wall, and he kissed me. That was the first and only time our lips touched. And he said, If you think I am a lowly choir boy, you are mistaken. And I said, Prove it.
And he said, Take me somewhere where I can talk to you, and I'll tell you everything. I'll answer all your questions. And I told him it would cost him. And he looked at me and he said, Name your price, woman. And that night we spent in a room that he rented and, oh lord, we got so drunk. But he got more drunk than I did. And he'd made the punch. He was a marvellous maker at Gin Punch, I must say. And while he was out cold, I took his clothes off him.
because I know a bit about doing this, about stealing from men. And that's when I got a good look at his watch chain. And I have to tell you, Tony, there was something singular the little pendant that was hanging down off of his watch chain looked like a knight's shield. You know, that, that shape and it was a stone a beautiful swirly green stone that, which I have now found out it was called malachite. And I've flipped it over. And it said to CD from, it was something like MGH.
the first initial was M and the last one was H. And it had a date on it. And I thought, who the hell is M something H? Because it wasn't his wife. I knew his wife's name was Catherine. So when he woke up, I'd put a shawl to him because I knew he'd be cold when he woke up. He woke up to me, sitting triumphantly on a pile of his folded clothes, with a pair of scissors in me hand, looking at him, saying, alright, I savoured out, who are you? C. D. What's that mean?
And he finally told me who he was and that he wanted to save me. In a way, and I didn't really believe him, but it said CD on the watch pendant, and I thought, oh, God, that must be him. I'm talking to Charles Dickens, naked, in a room, and I'm sitting on his clothes, with a pair of scissors in my hand, and all he's got to hide his manhood is a ratty old shawl that I've given him. Ha! another Tuesday. Just another day. That's right. That's right. And he said, meet me in a few days.
I'll explain everything. I promise you I'm not trying to hurt you. And I was never able to get to that appointment where I knew he would have explained everything about Urania because I was assaulted in the alleyway. And I tumbled into the Thames to see, you see how that progressed yes. And so, the second time I met him in the prison, that's when it really hit me. But, God damn it's him, it's Charles Dickens. I know who he is, he's the most famous writer in the world. He's talking to me!
Wait, who, wait, who is MGH on the watch? ah, well, , that comes in later. That's his sister in law, Mary Hogarth, who had died at the tender age of 17. I found out, not through him he never talked about her, but I found out through another party, that , they'd been very close. And that there were some who considered that perhaps, shall we say, to put it delicately, that he had married the wrong sister, if you take my meaning.
Wow. But she had been living with them to help manage the household and he considered her just an angelic creature. And they were very good friends and she supported his work. And remember, he was just starting out in the late thirties becoming famous then. And , I'm sure he needed all the support he could get. That's quite a bit of pressure when you're becoming famous, I would assume. For sure.
she died of a heart ailment, I have been led to believe, although I cannot confirm, but she died in his arms. And of course, Mrs. Dickens was so upset that she lost her baby. She'd been pregnant at the time. It was just an awful period for them. And I've never known, but I would guess, that perhaps saving young girls, in a way, in his mind, maybe he's saving girls who had just as much potential as Mary.
And of course, she, She was a very respectable girl, but she was robbed of her life as well, and he couldn't give her life back, and maybe through us he could Somehow achieve that, I don't know, and at the same time help, help people who really needed it. Because nobody else gave a damn about it, I can tell you that. , . He did more with his pen and his stories. And his nightly walks around London than some of the MPs and the Lords in Parliament sitting on the backsides ever did.
For the common man, and I'll stand by that. Well, no, I, and rightfully so. Okay. So you're in prison now and you meet Charles Dickens and so, and he takes you to Urania Well, he didn't take me himself. I had to My foot was still very gouty, and I was still weak. So , Dr. Wilkins who we now call Joe, my husband, said I wasn't to be moved just yet. He wanted me in what did he say? Ship shape in Bristol fashion.
I guess it's a sailor's exclamation, but he wanted me in Bristol fashion before I left. And of course, as a doctor, that was his responsibility. You're not leaving until you're healthy. And that's that. But he visited me every day and Dickens visited me regularly, even gave me a lovely dress and told me all about the place. So I knew what to expect when I got there. And I knew that the lady who was going to collect me from the prison to take me to Urania Cottage was the new matron.
And so I'd been told all about Mrs. Holdsworth, who was an older woman and very matronly, I was told. And she would collect me in a handsome cab. And take me to Shepherd's Bush, where Urania Cottage was waiting to receive me. And I was part of suffice to say virtually the first cohort, or the first class of girls to begin this experimental project.
program of reform we we're calling it but the whole idea appealed to me in certain respects because , yes, we called it reform and the only reform that, that I had heard of was in places like the Magdalene and other places where it, reform, it was all drudgery and you're a miserable sinner and repent of your wicked ways and all that. the way Dickens had designed this was quite revolutionary. He thought reform should not be drudgery.
If you're going to help someone change their life, why can't they have a bit of fun and colour while they're doing it? So, we were to wear bright colours, and he chose fabrics himself for us to make dresses out of, and made sure that we had clothes that were lovely to wear. Not ostentatious, mind you, no silks but we were looking lovely, like ladies. And So, just colorful dresses. You're not dressed in all black or anything.
Oh, no, we couldn't, wouldn't be anyway, black is expensive, no, none of that. None of that at all. And we was taught how to cook, to read, to write to do maths and to count, and such, and manage household accounts, because it is the ladies of the household. that do that. It's not the men. They're off doing whatever they do. And to manage a house, as I said and to make soup for the poor out of what was left over from a meal, so that nothing was wasted.
We had to attend schooling every day, and this was all done inside the cottage. And on Sundays, we did go to church with chaperones. That was not point to be argued about. You went. Whether you wanted to or not, and there was no swearing, you were not allowed to be dirty, you washed every day. We had little gardens out back to tend to, so we learned about that. We even had access to music and could sing. And my favorite aspect of being there was that we had a little friend in the parlor.
In fact, he was the only gentleman allowed at Urania Cottage. , I called him Rex, and he was a bright little canary, and he was adorable. And so we took turns cooing over him and we would feed him crumbs. But we always laughed and said he was the only man allowed in. And so we had a little bird to care for as well, but again, it's nice for a lot of these girls, and they were much worse off than I was. Remember, I had, at least I had a warm roof over my head, and they didn't.
They were more hardened street rats, you might say, . And I was pretty hard, but I wasn't that tough. But I was tough in mind. If not in body. And we didn't all get along, but we were able to come to an amiable accord, because we all knew that it was either this or go back out there, and none of us wanted that. So there were scrapes and scraps, but we got the job done. Well, this sounds like a wonderful place. Whether you came from the streets or not. I mean, it sounds like you have everything.
You've got school, you've got church. It sounds really difficult, though, to put all these different personalities in the same place because these would be tough people, as you're describing, that are thinking that everybody has an ulterior motive and it's not their best interest and they're trying to survive and thinking what they can get out of this. , did people steal? Did people get kicked out of the cottage? Oh yes. Well, there was one particular girl, Marianne, who I never got along with.
And of course she had it in for me there was no love lost between us. She was a bitch to me from the beginning. I'd come in and . girls greeted me they rose and curtsied, because that's what the other matron Miss Fisher, told them to do, and I curtsied to them, and invited me to sit down with them. Well, there, there was a bolt of fabric on a chair.
And I asked Marianne, because she was closest, if she could move it for me and she didn't want to, and then it was put on the table, and then I further asked her because it was next to her now, and I said, might I see that bolt of fabric? And she said, you could see it, , from where you are, well enough. And I thought, well, I could either pound her into the floor, or I can try and impress these ladies and use my manners. So I thought to myself, maybe if I say please?
And I said, may I please see that bolt of fabric? And I'm thinking to myself, before I bludgeon your goddamn face with it And then she just tossed it my way and it landed on the table with a thud and later that night I found that all these pretty dresses and things that we were wearing along with all of the silverware and such was all locked away at night. And the clothes that we wore, the dresses, were locked in a cupboard at night.
So that we couldn't steal anything in the middle of the night and run off with it and sell it. , Dickens had thought of that. He realized that some of the girls here would try and abuse the privilege. And I was sharing a room with one of the girls on my first night there. We all shared rooms. Nobody was on their own.
And actually it was quite nice because then you'd have someone to And And she took , one of my shoes off the floor and she was basically accusing me of sleeping with Dickens in order to get in because I was so small and clearly not a street whore that I must have serviced him in order to gain a place, that I was his new little pet, that he was keeping me there. And she was licking the toe of the boot, you know, as if she was giving someone a head. And calling me a slut.
And again I just, I thought to myself I could pound you into the floor if I wanted to. But if, I know if I do that, I'll be tossed out. And you know that if I do that, I'll be tossed out. So she was really getting under my skin. But I got my revenge on her because she eventually messed up. And I did end up getting her thrown out. Which I'm quite proud of, actually.
. I'm wondering right now if there are men that found themselves in this situation, maybe they were working at the facility or, , somebody that maybe Dickens thought could be trusted, but ended up taking advantage of the situation because he would have seen there's a whole bunch of prostitutes in this room , that can't talk back. Were there situations like that where somebody came in and took advantage of what was happening there? Maybe, , it just didn't go as planned in that way?
No, for the very plain reason that . There were no male staff whatsoever. There was no man who'd come in to clean the carpets or, , no chimney sweep, no nothing. It was all girls. And the only man who ever visited was Mr. Dickens. He would come in sometimes to have a chat. And we, of course, we'd make tea.
tea and serve it in the parlor and he would sit with us and again he always treated us like people which we weren't used to even those of us who thought we had it well you know it was only until I met people like Dandy as I call him it's foreign to me to call him Mr. Dickens but so I should call him Dandy and Joe That I really understood what it was like to be a person and not an object or a hole to play in.
And so he comes sometimes and then of course Joe did call once and only once and that was towards the end of my time there. And I didn't see him again until I met him again , in Australia. When my ship come in, but there were no men there the only time that we had interactions with men would be at church, but of course we were chaperoned but it was good practice for us to interact with respectable men.
And of course a lot of the men that, that had come to us for servicing thought themselves respectable and everyone else thought they were respectable, but they were actually, , dogs in gentleman's clothing. Yes, absolute scoundrels indeed, sir, which is quite the insult where I come from. A man would challenge you to a duel, sir, if you were to call him a scoundrel in public, or even call him a fellow. That was, oh, that was grounds for punishment. A fellow is Yes indeed.
Oh it can be, it could be a even as bad as calling one a scoundrel. It might be challenged to a dual with pistols How would you call somebody a fellow in your time? Like I know how to , call somebody a scoundrel, but I don't, know how to use fellow in a sentence. well, fellow can be a familiar term, but it can also be an insult. So you would know based upon who was saying it to you. the English language is a funny thing, isn't it? One word can mean many different things just like, hang out.
Dickens uses it in Pickwick. Someone says to Pickwick, I say there, where do you hang out? Well, of course, hanging out, it means Where do you reside? Where do you frequent? But it can also mean, , you're hanging your wash out to dry. It's hang out. So the English language is a funny thing. Dickens was responsible for a lot of words like that. Wasn't he? Oh, yes, indeed.
, he talks about Scrooge was, I do love this line, Scrooge was not in the habit of cracking jokes, nor was he by any means waggish. That's one of my favorites that he wrote, cracking jokes. They say that. Where you are. they definitely do. They Oh, marvelous. I love, oh, that's one of my favorites. I love that. I'll tell you where I'll tell you where I'm stuck right now is that you said something a minute ago. I can't get it out of my head.
You mentioned it earlier and you mentioned it now, and this one, you just casually said, Oh, I met him when I was in Australia. Why again, are you in Australia? Oh, because that was part of Dickens brilliant plan. So we would be in the cottage and we were for one year and all of our lessons and all the things that we learn, , we were graded on, you might say. We got marks. And at the end of our time there, the marks translated into. money.
And that was the, that was the money that, that, that paid for our fare. And all of this money was donated by Miss Angela Burdett Cootes, who was the heir to the Cootes banking fortune. And she was the benefactress of Dickens brilliant plan. And so it was all paid for. And we went with chaperones in small groups on ships to Port Adelaide, Australia.
Where we're met by the clergy and respectable people who would put us in respectable lodgings, help us find respectable jobs, and introduce us to respectable men who we could then marry. Which, and I, not being the marrying kind myself, I say that ironically now, of course, yeah. Never entered my mind to marry anyone. Because of whatever happened to my mother, I thought, no, I shall never marry. No man shall ever use me that way.
In fact, I remember saying to Dickens it's better to be a hired hand than an unpaid slave. And that's how I viewed the institution of marriage at that point in my life. It was only after I met Joe that I even considered But we went to Australia and then the idea behind all of this plan of uranium cottage was to turn us into respectable women who were attractive to a good, decent man who would want to take one of us as their lawful.
Wife and treat us with respect and love and protect us and all those things that men promise they're gonna do when they marry her and then they never do it To let us back out into society in London would have been disastrous because most of the men in high scale London, as they call it, society, they were mostly our clients. So they would have known us. So that would have been disastrous us to, turn out as a soiree or something. And they'd know us and then we'd, the game would be up.
So that makes complete sense. So he sends you to Australia where nobody knows who you are. And it is literally a fresh start after your, , might you call this wife training at Urania house? it. Indeed. Yes. And again I don't know the sentiments of women where you are on the other end of this marvelous device, but it, is the thing to do here. You, a woman marries not only for hopefully for love, although not always, but also for financial security because there are so few options.
for women as we've been talking about all along. And so, that was part of the plan. And I thank God that I was able to go through the term that I spent at Urania. And , it didn't turn out the way that Dickens envisioned it would, as far as I was concerned, but through A series of circumstances connected to Urania, I did meet a good, decent man, who is the love of my life. But did you meet Joe in Australia? Well, I shall explain, because I didn't explain it very well, did I? I'm sorry, dear.
It's been a great while since I've thought about any of this, and I am, Joe teases me, he says, Well, dear, you are over 40 now, so you're losing it a bit. Of course, I just, , slap him on the back of the head, and then he pulls me in for a kiss. But I I met him again in Australia because he knew that was where I had to go. He was my greatest advocate. He believed in me. He said, I want you to go through the whole program.
Go through all of it because if you don't, my darling, you will kick yourself later. Do this for yourself so that you can look back and say, I did it. And I did it for me. So I did, I finished the program. Although I wasn't there the whole time. And if you do want to talk about it, I'm than happy to tell you. But when I got there, he was waiting for me. But what happened in between that time is a story you might like to hear. Yes, please. Oh, very good. Well, I shall tell you then.
Well, it is nice, I should say, talking to a, to another man who, you seem very kind, and I'm sorry, Joe's with a patient. He'd probably like to meet you. He would at least be marvel at this thing in my hand, and it is rather bright light, but I kind of like it. So, Joe. And you can hear me all right, can you? I don't have to speak up. Oh, no, absolutely can hear you perfectly. Like I'm standing next to Oh, I wish you were. I'd invite you over for tea. , I'm a very good baker.
You're missing out on my spice I do feel like I'm missing out, but to be quite honest with you, after we got done with the baked goods, I'd still want to go to the djinn palace. Yeah, Well, speaking of unnatural things or sort of strange things, what happened next after I arrived at Urania was very strange. Through a series of circumstances, Dickens come over one day and he asked me if I would make a dress for one of his daughters. Because I knew I was quite a good seamstress in my own right.
And I said, well, I don't think you want to bring her here. I think your wife will have your head if you bring her into a place of, , retired paws. And and he said, well, no, you come to my house. And I thought, well, now I know you've really lost it. You've lost the plot, Dickens. You can't bring me over to your house. And he said, it's my house. And yes, I can. And what's for? My wife is for it. She wants to meet you. I just about fell over and and I said, well, as you say, sir, as you say.
So a cab picked me up and took me the next day and I walked in and there was Mrs. Dickens, a very kind lady, beautiful, heavy lidded eyes, so kind and intelligent. There was a fire behind those eyes and she had tea ready for me. Isn't that nice? Someone of my. situation, and here this, the wife of the greatest author of our age wanted to have tea with me. I thought that spoke very well of her character.
So we sat and had tea, but I noticed that she was looking at me a bit funny, and I thought that was just from, she's just trying to not judge me. She's trying to be a lady and be kind and be a charitable Christian. But it wasn't pity. But she was looking at me as if, the only way I can describe it is as if she saw a ghost. But she was very kind.
And we talked for a bit, and then in ran her little daughter Katie, who was full of fire, absolutely full of fire, intelligent, charming, witty, beautiful little creature. And I was to make a dress for her. So we was we was left alone. And I worked my magic on her, and and she did think it was magic. And we were talking as girls do, about, , stories and fairy tales and things. And and I told her that my nickname was Lilac. And she said, You're the Lilac Fairy, aren't you?
My father told me about you. Well, he had told his children that he had met someone who was very nice, but instead of telling them that he was talking to a prostitute, he used my nickname, Lilac , because I was very little, he described me as a fairy, with beautiful wings, you see. And so she said, Oh, you're the Lilac Fairy. And I was taken a bit aback, because I thought, why is he telling his children about me? But then I realized he was just telling stories. he's a storyteller.
Yeah, you're just a character in one of his kid's stories. Of course as of course anyone would be yes, yes and so, we talked a bit more, and then she told me, you know, you do look a lot like Aunty Mary. She died a long time ago, oh, and we like Mary from the watch. exactly, Mary Hogarth. And that made my blood run cold, and I thought, that bastard, what's he up to now? Is that really why he's bringing me here?
It can't be, it can't be, he's so, I wouldn't call him a good man, but I'd call him a great man, and I was absolutely flustered and I thought, I can't lose it in front of this child, it's got nothing to do with her, so I told her that I didn't need her anymore for measurements, I told her to run along and get her supper. And I went to where his office was and I confronted him about it and he still would not talk about her and he was upset that I would even say her name.
He was quite offended that I thought that's why he was interested in me. That he was secretly in love with her, and I looked like her, so he was, well, I think you can, I think you can guess my meaning, and I started to undress to see what his reaction would be. I went right back into that place of a wounded young girl, I'll use you for everything you can get. You see where my mind went with that? I'm not ashamed of anything I've ever done, because I lived.
I'm still here, so make no mistake about that, but I do regret my actions hurt him, because he never meant to hurt me. It was happenstance who I looked like, but he really did want to help me. And I ran out with only my corsets on really I hadn't bothered to put my dress back on. And I was able to remember Dr. Wilkins address off of Marchmont Street, was Crescent Lane. And he had a house there. He had rooms there. And I ran there. When you're a girl like me, you know London very well.
And I was good at running in the dark. And I found his place and I banged on the door for all it was worth. And all I saw at first was a light, like a lantern. And it came down, and there he was, and he looked at me, and he was, it was like he was looking at the return of Christ, he was so shocked, and he said, Ruby. And I said, may I come in, Dr. Wilkins, please? I was shivering.
I was absolutely shivering, and he brought me in, and he took care of me, and I stayed with him for about a week, and he kept telling me, you've got to go back. You can't live here. It's not respectable. You've got to go back and I knew he cared for me deeply and I was Realizing how much I cared for him and we argued I didn't want to go back But he had work to attend to so he was out at a local workhouse tending to his patients And I thought, well I'll make it up to him, I'll go apologise.
There was a basket of knitted goods, mittens and hats and shawls and things that had been donated for the poor. And I thought, I'll bring them to him and he can distribute them to the poor and I'll apologise face to face for arguing with him. And when I got into the cab, it stopped a few streets away. In a quiet, little not an alleyway, but it was large enough to put a coach in.
And, I heard boots hit the cobbles, and then I heard a voice I hadn't heard in a long time, and the door opened, and it was Top. He'd found me. He'd been looking for me all that time. And it was only by me running through the streets of London in my petticoats that an informant found me. Had said, I know where she is. And he was trying to kill me. I mean, the look, Tony, the look in his eye. He had me pinned against the cobbles. He was gonna kill me. And I couldn't calm him down. I tried to.
I said, I'll go anywhere with you. I was, I'm so sorry that I left you. I was such a fool. You're the only one that's ever loved me. You know, I said anything I could think of to calm him down. And I said, Then Dickens showed up. Of all things, I mean, you couldn't, he couldn't write this in one of his novels. He had a pistol in his hand. He had a lantern. There was another young man in his employ with him, who also had been watching me, to make sure I was safe.
And he addressed Top as if he were the finest gentleman on earth, and he said, If you wish to take her somewhere, sir, and she wishes to go with you, I will pay for the tickets myself. I concede, sir. You win, she is yours. So he was playing along. Very good actor. we were both trying to keep Top calm. And then finally, I realized that it wasn't going to work, and if I didn't act now, I was going to be dead in another ten seconds.
And I plunged my thumbs into his eyes, and I blinded him, and that's the only way I was able to get out from him. And I ran towards Dickens, and then I heard the crack of a gunshot, my arm was on fire, and I passed out. And the next time I woke up, I was in another hospital bed. This time at the workhouse down the street, and Joe was there.
And after that, I went back to Urania, I finished the program, I got onto the ship, recovered, ready for a new life, and as we had planned, Joe met me in Australia, and from there we were married, and we went to Boston for a while. And then we came back here to England, and I hadn't seen Dickens in years, until Oh, it was in Mechanics Hall in Boston, and Dickens was performing, so I guess he was getting his acting in after all.
And he was performing one man performances of the greatest, most popular scenes in his novels. And it was a wonder. He did it here in England and in Wales and etc. And then he went over to America, and it was his second visit to America. , I'd learned he'd also gone in the 40s when he was young. But this time he went to perform. And he was a one man wonder. All his shows were selling out. And Joe and I decided we'll go and see him. We won't bother him, but I just wanted to see him again.
The man who had saved me. And we sat very close to the front row. And I should tell you, , Dickens probably wouldn't want me telling anybody this, but I will anyway. We were seeing him perform on the second floor of this newly finished mechanics hall. A great big building, beautiful building and ideal for performances and such. The first floor had been used that same day for a poultry show. So there was, , hundreds of thousands of chickens down there, Very exciting show.
indeed, yes, and the and the lights were off, the lamps were off down there to keep them quiet so that they would sleep. The moment that they turned the gas lights up on the stage, just before Dickens. Took the stage to begin his performance. There were cracks, slight cracks in the floorboards, and some of that light crept through, and after about ten seconds, it was and that's all you could hear, and clucks and bucks, and everyone was thinking, my God, we'll never hear him.
How was he going to project over such a ruckus with that? Thankfully, finally they died down and they must have gone back to sleep or people went down there and I don't know what they covered the cages or something. And we were able to hear him.
And although that was a very humorous moment that I shall never forget, it was quickly followed by the shock of my life because the man on the stage was not the man I had said goodbye to in, in in Shepherd's Bush when I had left Gerania Cottage all those years back.
It was an old man, his beautiful hair which was now grizzled, he was partially bald, he had whiskers, great big whiskers that were quite grizzly, and all of his hair was sort of swept forward on his head and his beard was swept forward, it was as if when he turned sideways it was as if this great wind was sweeping him from the back pushing him forward. He looked thinner than he had. And so tired at lines that were etched, carved, in his face. And the lights were still bright behind his eyes.
But there was something gone. I thought, my God, he looks so tired, but his performance was brilliant. You'd never know. I mean, he put every bit of himself into them. He did a Christmas carol. . And, of course, we all wept at Tiny Tim's death, and we all rejoiced at Scrooge's redemption, and he really did become the characters with his body and his voice and the way he would scrunch up his face. It was brilliant. I'd never seen anything like it. And then he did.
Oh, he was, absolutely, but my heart sank. Looking at him and I remember whispering to Joe and I said he's ill and Joe said yes he is. Didn't need to be a doctor to look at him and know that he was ill. Little did I know he was dying. And has he passed along in your time right now? oh yes, he's been dead for some months now. He died back in, in June. In fact, I was able to pay my respects at Westminster Abbey where he is buried. What is the year in your time?
Oh, it is the year 1870,, and he died in June. , I saw him a few days before his death, which was June 9th. I saw him a few days beforehand. He was along the side of the road in Rochester, which is in Kent the Garden of England. Beautiful place. And he was sitting on a stone wall and I had no idea that it was him, but I saw and I thought it was an old man who'd tripped because he was holding his leg. And I was walking along you know, we British love a good walk.
And I went to him and I thought, do you need help? And he said, He turned around and it was him. I knew it was him. And he looked at me, and at first he looked elated and then his face sank as if he thought, my God, what are you doing back in England? , you were supposed to be in Australia. Oh, he thought something went wrong. He thought something went wrong. And I assured him that nothing had, and I helped him to the nearest pub. They knew him there. He'd been living in the area for some time.
He'd , bought a house and they knew him. He'd often send for drink and they would have it. Delivered, of course, when he was entertaining friends and such. And I bought him a brandy. That was his favorite. Also Madeira, but this time he ordered brandy. And Joe came in he'd been close behind. He'd been finishing up with a patient, but he caught up with us. And we talked and he could see that I was happy and that I had married Joe.
And he was very happy for us, but I could tell . He was still a bit sad that I'd come back, but I assured him I'm out here in the country, nobody knows us, everything's fine. Joe and I are very happy, we have no children, but we feel truly blessed. And it's due to you, so thank you. And I was able to thank him, face to face. And he said, well you must come and visit me at Gad's Hill, which was the name of the house that he'd bought.
And I found out, he'd seen that house many times as a young one with his father when they'd gone on long walks. And his father had said to him, if you work hard, one day you might own a house like that. And wouldn't you know, when he grew up, he bought and he lived in it. At least he made some dreams come true for himself. Well, and a lot of other people, obviously.
Yes, amen to I find it so interesting that when he sees you, the first thing that he doesn't think is, Oh my gosh, it's good to see you. Or, , jump up and hug you. The first thought is he comes back to that moment where he's probably all the time that you've been out of his view, he's been thinking, I hope she's okay. And then when he, and maybe even thinking, as long as I never see her, She's okay. And then he sees you and says, Oh no, I failed.
Like he cared that much with everything else that was going on in his brain and doing everything that it took to buy this house that he saw when he was a kid. He was still thinking, , are you okay? Yes. And that was part of his kindness as a, not as a writer or not as a famous man, but as a man. , as the Bard of Avon said, , warts and all. But , he did have a kindness to him. He wasn't always kind.
I mean, he'd separated from his wife at this point and had taken up with some young girl who I met, actually. So there is a little man in him still. A little Tony, I thought better of you. Well, I mean that in the best possible I, I know, my dear, but, you know, well, you're not wrong. But he invited us when we were sitting in that pub to, to call upon him at his house. And he says, well, let's make it the ninth the ninth of June.
And that's the day that we went is we were expecting to perhaps stay with him at least one day, if not more and he, we were certainly welcome, he told us that. And , as we approached the house, we saw that there was a great fuss of carriages and people coming in and out. And immediately I thought something's wrong. And so did Joe and we thought we'd better investigate. So we went in and I saw. A woman grown, now, who I recognized as the young girl I'd made the dress for, it was Katie.
And she saw me, and she recognized me, and she ran into my arms, and she was crying. And , there was some other gentlemen there as well, and they informed us that that my dear Dandy had a stroke. And, it was not long for this world. And so, I told Katie to be strong, and I let her cry on my shoulder for a bit. And then she let go of me and she ushered me into the room where he was and other members of his family were there. And I would wager some of them perhaps were household staff.
And he was laid out on a beautiful type of couch, I believe in French, it's a chaise lounge. And he looked very peaceful. He was sleeping. His chest was still rising and falling, but I was allowed to go up to him. I explained, I said I knew this man personally. I would like to say goodbye to him. And Joe was there. And I didn't realize I'd been squeezing his hand so hard, but I let go and I walked up and I knelt by Dickens. And he didn't stir at all.
, if he knew my presence, He never gave way that he did. He was absolutely still. And I took his hand in mine, and I said, Dandy it's lilac. I've come for my gin. And I said, Joe's here too. Everyone's here. And thank you. And a single tear rolled down his cheek. And then he was gone. wow. What a life. It's a very precious moment for myself, and I think everyone else who was there. What would your life have looked like if you hadn't been wandering the streets and just bumped into this man,
. I wouldn't have lived too long, too much long after because I would've either run away or the top would've gone crazy and killed me or something would've happened. I was far too reckless, and as I said, foolish, although I was not to blame. I've never blamed myself for my situation when I was little. But, as I've said before, the man saved my life. He was both a sinner and a saint. He was far from perfect. None of us are perfect. But at having kids. he was very perfect at having children, yes.
Some even say he had one with that young girl of his, and that it died. Her name was , Ellen Ternan, they called her Nellie. She's been an actress. And I met her. She was there. , I saw her in the garden after it was all over. She didn't come inside. She was in the garden, beautiful roses. And she was looking at them and of course , she was in a State of shock.
She was very still but hands were shaking and she had that look And I know that I know the look of shock in a woman's eyes and She's sort of mumbling a bit about how he liked he'd like flowers. He liked roses and then She saw me and she started to cry. I think she thought that perhaps I was there to berate her or something and I understood through what she was telling me, I understood who she was. I understand that type of girl when I see one. And I didn't judge her.
I thought, well, maybe she loved him. Maybe she didn't. That was none of my business. Suffice to say she was there and that's who she was. And I thought to myself, my God, if somebody with my experience had come across, Me, when I was your age, all I would have wanted was a bit of comfort and encouragement, so that's what I gave her. I told her, I said, look at me, and let me tell you who I am. And I told her that I had once been a hired hand, , a prostitute.
And I said, but the man who just died in there, he saved me. I said, I don't know what your situation is, but take it from me, You don't let them get you down. , you dry your eyes, and you hold your head high, because you are not to blame whatever your situation is. Not in this world. Hold your head high, and whatever happens, you can always come and talk to me. I gave her Jo's calling card.
And told her, you can always come to us, if you need to, you can always come and talk to me, I will never judge you. I knew him too. I saw him at his worst, I saw him at his best. And you've got a friend, if you want one. . She never visited us, but I certainly hope that she had a good life. I hope that she was able to find a man who, who loved her. And and be happy. Lord knows she deserved it.
Yeah. If looking back at this time that you spent with your dandy, what do you think his biggest flaw was? Women. Is that what it Is biggest, flaw was that he didn't know a damn thing about us. And I will say, Tony, most of you don't. You don't know a damn thing about us. Oh, believe me, we men, we know that. We're not sitting around thinking we know anything about women. Alright, fine then. What I fail to understand is why none of you do a damn thing about it.
If you don't know anything about women, why don't you listen? Why don't you talk to us and try and really get to know us? I'll give Dickens that credit. He did. But he was also doing it for the reason of creating this program. But, and that is my biggest regret as well. Is that I didn't just sit down, as a friend and talk to him. I kept running away from him whenever I saw him early on. And I wish that I'd just talked with him. Instead of the bantering and the teasing that we had.
. How could you have, there's no way to know if you can trust him after everybody else is throwing you against walls and , throwing you into rivers and things. I mean, there's just no way. If I knew then what I know now, I would have. And of course I didn't, but it's still a regret. And, but he didn't know anything about women, really. And I can only guess. I guess, though I don't know, because he never talked about his early life, never, and I never pressed the subject.
He was more interested in talking about my childhood, which I did finally tell him. But I can only guess, based upon my own life experience, that something must have happened to him when he was a boy. Perhaps he went through a trauma of his own, I've no idea if that's true or not, but I would wager That it had something to do with his mother, because he had a very strange way of regarding women. Stranger than any man I've ever met.
Now, of course, it's still his choice to regard women in whatever way. But I would not be surprised, although I can't claim to know that something must have happened to him in his early life that formed his view of women or maybe he was rejected by a lover when he was young or something. I don't, you know, never got over it. I've no idea, but I do know that despite his flaws and despite the egregious way that he treated that saint who was his wife he was a good man.
And that's the rub of it, isn't it? That you can still be a good person, you can still care about the people around you, and you can still try to do good things. And you can still be a horrible person. The irony of you saying that his biggest flaw was women and yet he took all these women whose lives were bleak and gray and just painted them with beautiful colors and in fact, the safest place in the world that they probably could have been , would be near him.
And yet that would be his flaw is women. Yes! Isn't it? It is very ironic. And I say, I don't pretend to understand the man. I never tried to. But I knew just from the interactions I've had with him that if if I tried I'd drive myself insane. There, there's no understanding people like that these creative types, and he was a very intense man. There's no understanding them. It's a matter of whether or not you're going to get on with them.
And I will say, as far as my dandy was concerned, once he formed a friendship with you, unless you really wronged him. He was your friend. And he was my friend. He was a true friend. We had our ups and our downs, but he was loyal. But he expected loyalty in return. But that is the formula of friendship, of course. that's reasonable. Yes, I have enjoyed speaking with you so much. I have three questions that are in my head that I just want to put them out there. And the first one is.
As I was preparing for our conversation, there was some some information that I was reading about London. I read something in your time that there were as many as eight, possibly 80, 000 prostitutes working at the time. And I ran across a term and the term was a badger game. What's a badger game? I can tell you what the Badger Game is because I played it. It's funny you mention it. Well, not funny, but I mean, Oh, it's a wonder to me that you would.
But I compliment your research, Tony. You are very thorough. The Badger Game Was the process of using a young girl such as myself, sometimes a young boy, depending on the type of people you're trying to hook that would attract a man with money. You would then and I did this when I was younger until top actually loaned me out to men for sex. My job was to lure men, looking like an innocent, pretty little young thing, who was interested in having sex with them. You understand?
Because many men are, and it is a disgusting thing to think about, but many men are into that sort of thing. to, uh, claiming underage girls. , they're turned on by it. And it's awful, but it's true. So I would pretend to be interested and lead them to a sequestered location. Top would be hiding close by, such as in the cupboard or behind the door or something.
And the moment that this man confirmed that's what he wanted, Top would leap out from where he was hiding and claim to be my father and claim to, I shall expose you and tell the world what you are. I will ruin you, sir, unless you give me what I want, you foul thing. And, of course, that the man in question would be on his knees begging to not be exposed because it would end his family, his career, his social standing, and of course you must realize, in my time, that is everything.
Yeah. If you lose that, you might as well be dead. Your position in society is what makes you, and you have to fight like hell to keep it. And so the man would eventually found her and say, I should give you anything you like, and of course we'd extort him for all the money he had. And his watch and some other things that he'd be willing to give us that we could pawn and sell. And and that was the badger game.
And that is the game that I played, and I saw it as a game, because Top again, very, a very manipulative man, who said, The men who hurt you , we can't get actual revenge on them, but wouldn't it be nice, Ruby, to get revenge on as many men as you could? And I'd be there to defend you, and they wouldn't hurt you, but we could embarrass them, and we could get money off them. And, of course, having been abused as I was, I thought, Well, if you'll keep me safe, I'd love to play that game.
Oh, yes, I want to embarrass them. I want to ruin them. And that was my introduction to the world of whoredom. That is the badger game. That is much easier than working for the money. Well, it, well, yes, I, you are correct. You are correct, and I shall let that comment slide, given that you're so pleasant to talk to. Thank you. Thank you. And I mean, it just seems like, oh, geez, everything about that life was just so dark and just, it's, it really is incredible. All right.
My last two questions. And the question was if you could describe Dickens, your friend in Just a few words. What would you, how would you describe him? A sentence? A flawed man, but a good man. And the last one is, what would those words be for you? To describe myself? Oh. She was never a lady, but her heart remained pure. And we'll leave it at that. Is there anything, any advice that you'd leave behind for future generations? Anything you'd like to say to the women?
Anything at all you'd like to say before we wrap this up? Yes, I would, and I thank you for asking. I would say to any other women, particularly young girls, or anyone that finds themselves in circumstances such as I was in thankfully, through programs such as Dickens was able to create. I do hope that where you live, there is help. Don't take no for an answer. Fight like hell to get it. Be safe, but do what you can.
And above all, always, no matter what happens in your life, it is not your fault. Remember that. Hold on to it. Believe it, because it will save you. Ultimately, it is never your fault. And I would add to that. Something that I have always said being someone who sews, sleeves are a lot like life. They're hard to get right the first time. And I hope that everyone listening will have as many chances as I have. Because heaven knows, if we women don't support one another, who will? Beautifully said.
Thank you, Ruby, for your time today. It has been an absolute pleasure. Oh, you're very welcome. My pleasure as well. It's hard to know which parts of Ruby's story are true. Just like her friend, Charles Dickens, who was able to capture the minds of his audience by spinning a fascinating tale. . Ruby may have possessed that same talent. But what we do know for sure is that at this time in London, there were many girls who were victimized in this way at a young age.
We also know that every person that Ruby mentioned in the story was a real person. Urania cottage was also a real place. As was its affiliation with Charles Dickens, which is still hard for me to believe. And we know that Ruby Waller was a resident with records of completing the one year requirement. Including going to Australia. And finally, although Dickens wrote almost nothing about Ruby specifically, there was one entry in one of his writings where he was describing Ruby's stepfather.
It only said a few words. Stepfather bad. Thank you for listening. And don't forget that. When you tell a friend about the calling history podcast, somewhere in Costa Rica, a sloths hosts, a speed dating event, I'm Tony Dean. And until next time. Um, history.