Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress. I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got with me Madame Liv. Hola, that's Spanish for hello. Then then I have my lovely nephew and Madam lives Dom, this is Master Matthews. How are y'all doing? Alright, I wish I could like respond back like hey, we're over here. You know, you can get a little button for that, like a cheers button. Yeah, yeah. Clapping. Yeah, clapping. I'll get that for you. All right, kids, so we're going
to start this episode. But I will say that officially, for the longest time, we were only in 190 countries. There are 195 countries in the world, and guess what? We just got another motherfucking country. That's awesome. Right. It's 191 countries. It's so exciting to me and it's all around. The world. Fuck yeah all. Around the world. Hey. You got a lover now?
I will say this too, that we had Kylie, who we have taken out into the woods, and then Liv before that did an Electro session in the dungeon and Spotify wouldn't let me post them. She's not naked. We don't know what the fuck's happening, but I upload it. Spotify takes it down three different times on both episodes. However, I will say to the listeners and the viewers who listen to the podcast go to our
loyal fans. I'm going to be posting some parts of it on our actual Call Me Mistress website so they can go on there and view it. So anyway, that's the issue. But there was 2 great fucking videos that we put together for Fucked Up Friday. And Liv, you were fucking phenomenal doing it as always. But you know Spotify won't let us show it, so Boo fucking who? So Liv, let's just jump into it. We can go and talk some nitty gritty about some shitty shitty. Oh. No, no, Matt, I know this is not
your favorite topic. It is not a favorite topic for a lot of fucking people. No, not at all, but the story is great. The story is great. It's great you just let her tell you. Well, for starters, I will say this. So the guy was supposed to come in to see us twice and when he didn't, he cancelled. And I told him I said look, if you come in again, you legit have to come in because we can't just sit here and wait for you. It's not fair.
It's not right to do that. And Liv is going to pee on you. However, I'm going to shit on you and if I have to wait for you and hold it, I don't like doing that for anybody. So you're going to have to fucking show up. He's like, I promise I'll show up. I'll show up. I'm like OK. 10:00 when he comes in, he's a nice looking guy. He's like 5859. Very attractive, clean, clean smell and great cute little body. Got a little pudge to him, but he's adorable wearing his little cowboy boots.
So sexy. But he really wants to be shit on and he wants to eat shit. And I said, well, you know, Liv will pee on you, but you know, for the rest, I'll do it. I said, but it's not something that you think is going to be all of that. And he's like, well, I've listened to the episodes on your podcast where you've talked about it and you know, you need cough. OK, it's OK, I said. But ultimately on the podcast, you know, you've heard me talk about it.
It's not pretty, I said. And when I have to do it, I'm going to do it. And I can't be around to hear you eat it, lick it up, nothing. I can't smell it. I have to do it, drop it and leave, I said. So you'll be left to your own devices with it. He's like OK, OK. And I said no, it's raining outside and we can't do this shit in the dungeon because it is one room with no ventilation, no fucking windows and it's going to stink. So we have to do this outside.
He's like, but it's raining. Can't we do it like on the steps It's? Cold. Yeah, OK. We'll start from the beginning because we're skipping a little bit. So Liv, you, you tell them your version of it. You. Go for it. Well, I'm not going to get into the right, but whenever he comes in, when he comes in nicely dressed, seems a bit nervous, gets nose a little bit more stretched, relaxing a little bit, he was like, OK, well, we're like, well, how do you
want to start the session? How would you envision the session going and having such a hard time getting him to explain that to us? And he was like, well, I would like maybe you just to tease me. And I was like, well, does that mean like we like show our butt hole to you? And he's like, Oh my God, you can do that. I was like, no, no, no, no, that's not what I. Said I was being. Sarcastic and and, you know, then you said I'm not showing you my asshole.
And he was like, yeah, but just like sexually tease me with it, you know, And like, well, kept asking, well, what does that mean to you? Like, how do we tease you with shit? And you know, it just took us. I would say we were in there about 30 minutes trying to get it out of him. Yeah, he was so like you said, he was so nervous. But you know, my thing of it is I'm very verbal live. You're a doer, you know, and I like to talk and she likes to do.
And so when I was telling him, I'm said, look, I said if it's going to be me teasing you in some form of fashion, I'm going to be talking dirty to you. I'm going to say, oh, baby, I want to shit on you. I want to fart in your face. Really get him going. Yeah, yeah, it really didn't seem like he wanted that, but he. Didn't he acted like he didn't want that? That was very confusing. I almost thought we wasn't gonna be. We wasn't gonna do it. Yeah. So then I said OK, So what
exact? And Liv and I just kept asking and ask and probing. Yeah, we probed him so. I bet you. Did Yeah, we did. But I said to him, I said, what do you want us to do? You want us like flash you our asshole and be like. I've got bring out of your asshole. That's fighting. You'll be like blowing little brown kisses. God, Charles would think this is funny. Yes, Charles would probably love this right now. I. Told Charles the story yesterday and he was dying.
He laughed so fucking hard about it. Yeah, 'cause he's always very matter of fact, you know, He's like, Oh well. How did you do it like this? So funny things I tell this guy as we start again, Liv's trying to say, what do you want? And he's like, well, you know, I, I go to strip clubs. I think, you know, the, the teasing, the dance, I think it's kind of cool. Lap dance. Yeah. And I said, well, Liv, this is our rule. You know, you can't touch us. We can touch you.
I said we're not going to do anything sexual or inappropriate with you. We're going to. Liv can dance a little bit for you. Yeah. You didn't do notice. I actually had a hard time doing that. I felt like an idiot, You know, I was like, I feel like I've done a lap dance before. I feel like I would know what I'm doing. But the more I thought about it, the harder it got to do. I'm like, I don't know what to do. Do I do this?
And like I was like I. Thought what you did was perfect though, because, because you, you went because I told him I said look, we have a chair and we use it for our our sessions like. I feel like if I did it while he was sitting, I'm not sure I probably would have been able to give him a success successful one, but he was on the couch.
Yeah, it, it was different. I mean, when you walk into the dungeon, you come in right side, there's the couch, you know, and it's kind of like sits back a little bit. And, you know, we told him about the chair that we use for golden brown, and it has a hole in it and everything. So Liv goes and grabs that chair and it's not really tall, but you, you're not a really tall person, but it was really suited for you because. I did use the chair you. Did it was great. So you straddled the chair.
Because I didn't know how to dance on him. No, that's what was getting hard. That's why I grabbed that chair. I'm sort of like dance chair dancing I guess. Yeah, it worked out perfect because, you know, you just bounced your booty a little bit. I mean, and you're wearing these cute little leather shorts. I will say that she was wearing these cute little leather shorts. She looked great. And she was like, kind of like shaking her butt and just being
teasy funny. I mean, and we were just like, oh, you know, and I was sitting next to him. I'm like, you know, touching his hair and touching his cheek and his his chest because he's adorable. You know, why not? And ultimately then, you know, he proceeds to get more excited. So Liv and I take his boots off and, you know, we're getting to where he's basically down to his his undies and. Never regions. Never regions. So I'm like, OK, and lives like,
yeah, so Are you ready? And I said we need to do this because it's going to start raining harder. You know, that was the thing. We've never done this shit out in the rain. That was the other thing. Yeah. Yeah, and I told you I was like, because we were talking about how I would pee on them. Yes. And you're like, why you just do with your underwear? I was like, I'm not wearing any underwear. But then I was like, well, I went to move my pants to the side and I was like, I am
wearing underwear. Look at me go. Yeah, I ended up. Wearing underwear, I don't know how I forgot it but so I was able to take my skirt off and honestly my underwear matched my shirt. I looked super cute but I tried peeing on them and honestly I was pee shy. And he's like looking directly in my pussy hole. I just want to look at where. I'm looking at. Me, but you pee on me in the shower all the time. It's different. I love you. That does not mean I love you.
If I pee on you, OK, But it is easier. I'm more relaxed. And you try to aim it and you're not. Staring into my pussy when I'm doing it either like he's like. Well, if you can't see this but. Holding his mouth open like obnoxiously trying to catch those peas. Yes, he was. But you know, to me, he's, he was cute. I'm not saying he was ugly. Yeah, no, I know that. It to me, I know for you it was weird. It's kind of like a panting dog staring up at your crotch.
Like, you know, pee on me. Yeah, but whenever you went to, it would be your turn because I was like, hey, I'm pee shy. You're like, Are you sure you want to see this? I was like, yeah, I could do. It yeah, you're like, I'm kind of curious. Oh, I was. Down. Curious, you were. So this is The funny thing, right? I told you, I said, look, Liv, when you do this, if you're going to pee on them, just wear a skirt. You know, you can pull your panties aside, make it easy.
But she wore these shorts and I was like, oh, OK, well. It was my leather skirt that had shorts. You can't pull into the side where you can't. You can't, but you have the cute little bikinis that matched. I know. The top you looked adorable. It's very festive, you know, red sequins. I'm like. Burgundy underwear. I looked like I did it on purpose even. I didn't even know I wore underwear. You just show up. She fucking shows up.
She does it phenomenally well. So anyway, so to give the audience some perspective, so we go outside, we're sitting by the pool in some form and it's starting to just rain and it's 50° out. It's fucking cold. He's whining like a bitch. I'm like, you knew it was cold when you scheduled this morning. Okay, I told you we. Schedule on a rainy day, I told you. Did this lay down? You know what I mean? And lives like lay down. I said. Look, I'll get you a blanket. We had a blanket outside.
We covered the plants when it's cold. I said, well, this is now officially the shit blanket. Here you go. So he lays down and I was like, you know, we're both in heels. I'm trying to straddle him after Liv goes to do this. And I was like, yeah, I'm not going to have any problems doing this. I never have any problems doing it. I don't care. I really do not. I don't know how it's in my mind, but I think I really like
shitting on people. I think it's so fucking fun because I'm thinking you piece of shit, you're fucking doing it. Yes, you know, but I said to him. I was looking between your legs trying to see like, did she do it yet? Yeah. And you know, I'm going to say it was not a log, OK? And it was just popping down. Well, I, I told the guy before, I'm like, look, I do not eat starches. I do not eat carbs. I'm on a carnivore diet. So my diet is red meat, butter,
hard cheeses. That's what I fucking eat. I said. So it doesn't come out in logs. I'm not constipated. It's going to come out like pudding. Yeah. And Matthew is dying. You're you're holding this shit bag. Don't fucking hold back. So first I pee on him. I'm like, yeah, I have no problem. Ping, I said. I drank fucking 5 bottles of water. Before you do that, as soon as it hit, the pee hit his face. He's like, yeah, can I catch it on Jesus? Yes, and it was. Like a grass.
And when he looked at me before I started doing this, he was like biting his lower lip like. This was seduction. For him. Right for you actually did y'all business. I ran around the other side of you and I squirted Lube on his Dick and ran away. Yes, so now I'm like standing in front of the chair. He's laying on the ground. Liv is standing behind the chair, looking. Up at your booty hill. He's touching his Dick, yes. And so I'm like, OK, I said Are
you ready? And now he's drowned with piss at this point and he's shaking his head yes. Your pee was pretty strong too. I thought maybe, you know, he didn't want it. He wouldn't have wanted it. It was a fucking floodgate of 5 bottles of water that I was holding. 5 fucking bottles. OK anyway, because he was like, oh, I'm on the carnivore diet too. We're going to be carnivore buddies and. Carnivore buddies. That's what I told them. That's horrible. I did and then.
We slapped hands. It was great. Do you remember this? That was in the beginning. It was fucking hilarious. OK, so Needless to say, finally he said, yeah, he's ready and lives like he's ready. I said, Liv, Are you sure you're going to watch it? She's like, oh, yeah, I'm kind of curious about it. OK, this is the girl who can't stand my burps because they smell like fucking beef Turkey. You do it in the car though, I. Do it in the car. But you know what?
Give me hot box of meat. We don't beef jerky burps. But here we are outside and with the weather and the everything being cold and still, there's no breeze and it's so fucking cold that the air is so still that when I start plopping down some pudding. Into his fucking mouth. It wasn't on his face. It was on his chest. It was in his fucking mouth. His mouth, and then it just kind of slid down his throat and on his chest. Yeah. And.
As soon as I saw it, I started. I tried to run but literally. I wasn't running. I knew I was getting paid extra for this shit, but I was like, I'm leaving, you know, I'm like, but it started to smell. So I didn't want to run through the smell. But I didn't want to run out the gate because I knew I had a sub out there waiting for his turn for the mess. So I didn't want to run out there and just underwear. Yes. And so I was like, oh, you're trying. She's like, did she? I was trying.
I was trying not to gag because I didn't want to ruin his fantasy. Yes. Then you know, I finally get to make it past y'all and you, you're ready to get up and go. You're showing where the most was. Yeah. Fuck no, that almost gagged and ran inside. Yeah, I said to, I said to you, I said, well, do you want to help him anymore? And you're like, no, I'm not going out there because I looked at him and I said, hey, I told you I don't want to leave you. I'm sorry, but I got to go.
I'm gonna go shower like I told him. I'm gonna go shower and then I'll see you back in the dungeon. So I leave. Liv goes into the dungeon. She brings him a towel. Ultimately, after I gagged a little bit in there, I let it all out. Then I go back out there and I see the the mess that he had created standing there with his hose and I'm like, oh God, oh, he was like a zombie, you know, that has all that stuff. I was like, here you go.
You know what, you're back. I was like, I don't want you to get it wet because it's raining and wait till you come back. Inside Why, You know, it's so funny. So here it was raining all that day and then all that night the next day. I'm thinking the rain is going to dilute the shit. Oh, that's all the. Equipment. Yeah, the big old pudding mess out there. The pudding mess was still there. You. Can tell it got rained on, yes. I thought somebody stepped on
it, but thank God it didn't. Look like a clump thing of leaves. Ultimately, yeah. Like rod leaves like. Rod leaves. We ended up having their session the next day. On the way out she goes. That's where she pooped. I said good to know. Thanks, I appreciate it. You know what's really fucking funny? The next day someone stepped in it after I told them, hey, it's out there. And I was like, do you know? I was like, I tell you it's there.
I tell you he steps in it. I said, I tell you it's there. I tell you where is not to step in it and what do you do? Just stepped in it he. Stepped in it, He's like, yeah. And the dogs were kind of curious about it, too. And it was. You don't have dogs big enough to make that mess. Yeah, but they were like, what is that? Is that smells like mom? No. But whenever he came back in because you were in the shower talking about shit boy, yes, he come back in. He looked OK.
He didn't smell. If I, if I had to smell even a little bit, yes, I would have gagged. I was so like, I was so weak. It didn't matter if I saw a little shit in his teeth. They've been over. You know, I don't know what I can handle now, but bitch, I got you. Sit down, Sit down. Like, OK. And then? Like we're all good friends, it's no big deal. And then I. Got you. What? And yeah, he tells you he's like it. He didn't like it. I was. Like we just dislike it enough.
Yeah, you should have been throwing up. We called bullshit because he was fucking hard the whole time. Yeah. And you wouldn't be able to get off afterwards. No, and you got. You and then I didn't like it, no. No. Fucking way. So and then he's like, yeah, well, I just wanted that off my bucket list. It's like bitch you that's. A big ass bucket. List. Thank you. Thank you. I got a bucket list and that's not one of that is not. 1. But hey, I get it, people like stuff like that.
I don't get it but OK. You're not going to yuck their Yum. That's. Cool, you know I'm not going to Yum. Their yuck lapping up either. So when I came back in, I did the same thing. I sat down next to him. You know I'm rubbing his chest and you know he tried to play it off like he was Mr. Big Bad Boy. He's. Like he took this that whales could take. Yeah, like he's all dominant and that's how he acted.
But then when I sat down next to him, he was like a little fucking puppy, wanted to nuzzle up to me, and then he wanted to kiss me. With his tight breath, as soon as he did that grass, I was like. Oh, and I was like, that happened. Oh no, honey child, Mia, don't kiss in the dungeon. I'm talking about how you were going to react to him trying. Oh. Well, I'm thinking like he's breathing stank on you. He yeah, like. Well, how are you going to react?
Yeah, but you're like, you're like, you like, patted his cheek and kissed his forehead. Yeah, like, you're gay. You can put your head down and you don't have to breathe my own shit right here in my face. Like, yeah, I I don't want to be like, I'm in the bathroom right now. No, I don't want to smell my own shit. And yeah, so Needless to say, like you said, I was patting his head and he kept going in like he was like, well, several times. Yeah.
Yeah, several. Times so he I thought you just want to yes. I was like. Bitch say look, I'm not into that. You might be into that, you know. Not me though. And I'm cool with it. You know, you, you were a champ. You took it. Took it, but yeah, and you wanted it, but. And then you say you didn't want to, but yet that big old Dick was like flopping hard the whole fucking time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it wasn't. But point of it is, it was the simple fact that he was erect the entire fucking he was.
He was jacking his Dick when he shit in his mouth, yes. And so after all that, then he was still so excited. I said, you know what? OK, I'm just going to sit on your face. This is this is how the session is going to end. This is what you want. He's like, this is what I've wanted. I'm like, then you should have fucking said that. You know, we, we could have, you know, not have done this. Shit, I know he wanted to do this shit. He wanted to do this shit outside, but then he's like,
yeah, I would. I want your ass in my face, you know? OK. Whatever point of it is, was it interesting? It was very interesting. Yeah. You know, you were worried about me seeing you different. I don't. I just see that guy different. But not that I saw him any sort of way before because I didn't know him. Yeah. But I was like, we're trying to wrap my head around this is a normal person. OK? Like, that's just out in the world that this. We just did this, too. Yeah.
And he liked it. Yes, my thing of it is I think what you're saying is what I'm thinking. And that is afterwards concept of how he acted. Yeah, he was, Yeah, he was acting arrogant. Like, oh, like, oh, he's like, trust me, He's like, I'm not going to be one of your regulars. And I'm like, yeah, well, you know what? I beg to differ because they ain't nobody, no bitch is going to do what you wanted that done today. And it's hard to ask, even if you thank.
You thank you, yes. And you know, that's the problem. I, I mean, I have, I have nothing but respect for these guys. I really do. I really, I like that guy a lot. I like. Yeah, he's a good guy. He's. Attractive, he's nice looking, all these things. I don't care if he wants to eat shit. I don't care if he wants to eat my shit. But you know, it's just like AJ for example. AJ, he's a nice guy. He is very complimentary. He texts me back and forth. He moves stuff. Forward.
They're always really put together. They. Are and they're. Cool smell good, their teeth aren't gross. I just want to think shit eater. I think like a scary hobo with like long greasy, dreaded hair, which that's kind of two different things. You know what I mean? Just nasty teeth don't brush. Their teeth smell like mold and then come in and 80s got beautiful teeth. I was like, I ain't no way. Yeah, the shit keeps him shiny. Apparently it's that grid in there.
Yeah, a little extra grid. But you know, as far as AJ goes too, when he came in he said perfect, no issues, no hygienic issues. This guy perfect, smelled great, boom, sexy as fuck I think. He's sexy as fuck I think. You like the younger one I. Do damn I do so sorry. But. He was almost 30. I mean, OK, big deal. It's not like he was 19, but you know, I'll go for a 19 year old whatever anyway.
But I will say he's legal. He's legal, Matthew, but you know, we had this one guy and he had been coming to see Bri and I for years, but he was from a very, you know, wealthy well to do family, but he would come in and he would always smell like body odor. Great looking guy, looked like a surfer. But again, he had on this nice fucking outfits and everything else, but he, you could smell fucking Bo. You could just imagine shit under his fingers because he wants to eat shit because he'd
even said. That is a shit eater that stomped, yes. Oh, that was one. That was the one exception because he would just say, yeah, sometimes, you know, I lick my own fingers after I wipe my ass. Why do you get your fingers touching your ass? Because he wanted to feel his shit and taste his shit. Because he wanted it. I know you're looking at me like no. You know what this reminds me and I don't know if I should bring this up, but I'm going to bring it up. Cousin of mine, yes.
When he was younger and he would be getting in trouble, like he'd get in lectured by my 'cause he had to come stay at my mom's just 'cause he was being rough at his momma's house. So my mom says I got this, You know, she's always been the one that's been, like, little boot camp. Yeah, but when he'd be doing lectures, he'd have his hand on the back of his pants just digging in his ass. Yeah. And then he would smell and lick his fingers. Now I'm thinking, Oh my God, I
know an actual shit eater. Yeah, but he would do it, like, right in front of everybody in the middle of the lecture. Like what? Why the fuck What did you just do? Why did you? Do that right now. What the fuck? Surprise surprise, but OK, so now you know your cousin is a shit. Eater, I could see that, yeah, but he's kind of grand. Like he's what you would think, what I would think, Yeah, a shit eater would look like.
Well, and I was also thinking, people who listen to the podcast, that guy listened to every shit episode because every time I started to talk about an episode about shit, he's like,
Oh yeah, I heard that. No, no, no, no, no. But I've heard other guys that have come in and there was that he's the one short guy, he's kind of heavy set and he's in the strap on play and he's like, yeah, I always make sure that I do an enema because I always hear about you and Madam Live talk about people, you know, not taking care of that. So I don't want to embarrass myself, you know.
So maybe he took that extra. Even if it happens in the dungeon, I try really hard not to embarrass them. Yeah, Like, I don't purposely do all that. Like, to me, I'm like, it's not their fault. Now I feel they like the humiliation of it, or I'm mad at them for some reason. I'll say that they're disgusting out there on the floor. Yeah, But normally I don't say anything. I just say, all right, we're done. Yeah. Or we had a little accident. We're done. Yeah, exactly, I say. I hit gold.
We're done. I can't say it like that, but you know, like I just try hard not to embarrass them. Yeah. But yeah, it is something that is not enjoyable for our side, but you know it. Happens. It happens like it happens. More often than you think, even though you do an enema, sometimes it does. And you don't need to be like,
oh, I did it though. But if you do it an hour before you come here and don't have nothing, I'm saying because people are like, oh, I did it this morning, that's too long ago. Do it an hour before. Yeah, especially if they've eaten. They don't realize some foods. Oh, I've already. I haven't eaten and I did this morning, no. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. Like, yeah, some foods stay in your system, you know, days. Because some things take a little bit longer to.
Digest Exactly. There was one other thing, oh, the other thing about this guy, which was funny, is because he really couldn't vocalize about what he truly wanted. I know that there was more that he wanted, but he kept thinking he was a unique case. Like they all think they. All think that. They all think that you've. Never had one like me or oh, you know, he said. He was a little bit more vanilla than most of our clients. That's what he told us. Yeah, No, the fuck you're not.
Yeah, no, no, this is not vanilla and it's actually. Chocolate. Pudding. You know, she wears a lot of things for me, but don't roll a pudding for me. She likes pudding, don't worry. I will not. I will not this. Is he likes pudding? But you know those Ferrero or Cherish? Yeah. OK, the what? The fuck are? You saying? They're Ferrera brochures, chocolates. They're wrapped in coconut. They're chocolate. They're not coconut, it's peanuts. Peanuts.
They have a hazelnut in it, and they have. A hazelnut. That's right. Very good. I made you try one other day. Well, I ate one and he started talking about the shit and I was like no, it's lumpy in my mouth. I. Don't want to eat? No, she's so much. She's like you better shut up about it. Like these. These are my favorite. Yeah, it's all lumpy in my mouth. Yeah, can't those. Are my daddy's favorite. He actually wanted to be buried with a box of Ferreira Share. Wow. Say 1.
More time dedicated. Say it 1. More time Ferrer. That's too funny. All right. Wow, OK. Well, I think we we need to call this. Call this quits, no more ships. All right, so Matthew, you can close this out. Until then, this has been the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.