Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Mistress Mia's Dungeon. I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia. I'm losing my voice. I'm getting over a cold. And I've got the Barbie. Hi. And I am sitting across the room. I'm on of antibiotics, I swear I'm not contagious anymore. I've only been sick for I think 12 days. God bless. Let's. Shoot for 20. Fuck you. Fuck you, Barbie. All right, so Barbie and I, we've had a really kind of like a boring week. Yeah, you saw some boring clients.
They weren't that fun. They weren't boring. They were just standard new people. They get them there. You're like, what do you want to do? They're like, I don't know. Like a teenage girl. What do you want to do now? What are you wearing? You hang up. First like. I wish we had a menu they could just pick off of. You know, sometime in matrixes do actually have menus. I wouldn't mind just like at least a list of things I'm like here.
It's your first session. Here are things we recommend you starting with. Here's our starter kit. You know what we'll do? We'll create a catalog. Yeah, and we'll let them choose from the catalogue. Exactly because when you don't give them parameters, they don't they the options are endless and they won't ever pick one. OK, so we'll say like this is called the Grand Slam and. That's where Barbie literally body slams you.
So Speaking of body slams Barbie, that would be a great Barbie. Body slam Barbie. That's. Awesome, that's already me. At parties. I'm the bouncer. I tell people. I'm big bouncer. Barbie Mattel better not steal that. No, I've been saying Mattel's listening. They have bigger issues. That's great. OK, I sound terrible. I can't believe I'm doing this. But Barbie, we need to talk about porn. I promised I cleared my search history. Yeah, could you imagine? So if we die tomorrow, right?
Knock. Knock on wood. Knock on wood. What people would find. Yeah, you better knock on wood, bitch. What people would actually find in our search history and our favorites on our phone. I feel like you would get judged less because like at this point, like it's your life. I feel like my family, since I kind of got a a double personality going on, they'd be like, huh. Right. I don't have a lock on my phone though, so if anybody wanted to do that anytime they could.
You say that all the time. Yeah. You like no lock on my phone? I don't, I just hate them. I'm like OK. I was like, I never, I never look up porn on Incognito mode because I don't care, because in my head I'm a grown woman and if someone goes through my phone and sees what porn I'm watching, to me they're weird like and also like, you don't know why I'm looking at that porn. That can be for research. Research, you say?
Yeah, I have looked up things like on on Pornhub before just to see like when I first started like doming and like working in the dungeon, I went on to Pornhub and was like looking up like dominatrixes to see like what the fantasy that some guys would look that up. We're seeing to see like how to emulate it. Because I wasn't the best at derogation and I still I'm not the best at like talking during the scenes. So sometimes I'll go watch them to see what they say. See, that's great.
That's a good research. Great way to do it. Yeah, yeah. And sometimes I like to see what weird shit I can find, you know. Well, I used to want to get my tongue forked and that's how I went on Pornhub to look up blow jobs with forked tongues to see how it worked just in case I ever did it. You know, I just be using that as wakey how sometimes I'm like, I got to look something up real quick. That's fucking hilarious. What did you discover with that that tongue?
It works just fine for a blowjob. It doesn't seem to do any better or any less better. It just looks like that you had talked you would talk with a lisp. They say you do for the first few months and then it goes away. I was going to make it. This was like at the beginning of the year. I was going to make the appointment for this November, but I decided to hold off and see where things go a little bit longer. So I don't, I don't want to make a, you know, big decision like
that. And just like it's reversible, like, you know what I mean? I don't want to do all that. Yeah, we're a little off topic. We're talking about porn, not. Yes. OK. All right. Well, you know, they kind of go hand in hand. True. True. True. True. All right, Yeah, I saw this guy on a video. And if you go to YouTube, you can video. I mean, you can see this one, Dom, and she's actually looking at people just based on how they
look. And she'll decide what their fetish is. She'll try to determine it. And there was a guy on there and I I spotted it out too, before they even said anything. He kind of looked like Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. Long hair, younger, you know, but very sexy. But just everything was very long on him, like a very elongated body and everything. And his kink was, he liked to be licked by anyone. Yeah, anyone. He would get really hot and bothered by it. I mean I get it, but.
Not, yeah, I know. Not by anybody. Yeah, it's. Quite a few people I would not want licking. Oh God, girlfriend, I got a list of people. I don't want fun. I got a list of people who are not allowed to lick me ever right? Oh God. So Speaking of licking you. Where is this going? I'm scared you did not brief me on anything. No. What kind of porn do you like to watch? It depends, sometimes I don't like watching porn. You know what? I don't like watching porn sometimes.
I know, but we're talking about porn in general. What kind of porn do you like if I do watch have you seen? I like animated porn. I don't know how to why, but it to me just it's less pressure. I don't have to explain it 'cause I feel like with like when it's people in the porn, I overthink it too much and I'm like I'm not not into everybody
involved. Especially like if I'm like, 'cause like, I don't know, sometimes I'm just not interested in the men in the porn and I'm like, no, I'm going to go watch a cartoon because that Dick's fake. Well, I'll tell you this much. I I know what you're talking about with like animated porn. I remember flipping through and I was I typed in like bull, you know, bull porn, and it actually showed an an animated. No, it was an animated like he
almost looked like one of those. Thank you, thank you. That's what he looked like. And he was. Monster fuckers. Yeah, and he was fucking this chick. I'm not going to lie, I've dabbled in monster fuckery before, but it's not my favorite thing on earth. OK, OK, so monster fuckery. Sorry, I got a call like right As I said, monster fuckery, so we need to take it real quick. No, but like, you know, have you ever seen Bad Dragon? You know what that is the dildo
company. I remember when I was like 19, I went to an anime convention and there was a Bad Dragon tent and we went in there and I picked up on these dildos Mia and I shit, you know, it was probably 4 lbs. It was huge. But like, I don't know, like I've always considered getting one, like not a giant one 'cause I'm not really a size queen, but like I've always considered getting one just for funsies. But I wouldn't say when I did dabble in monster fuckery it was
not true monster fuckery. I have some friends that would like want to fuck the thing from Alien. I'm not kidding. I believe it. You know, I was, I was watching that the that one channel I was telling you about with this Dom and and she was, you know, talking to people on what their fetishes were. And there's a thing called eggling. Oh. Yeah. Have you heard about that? So it's basically where, you know, you can get a dildo that will implant these these jello
like eggs inside of you. Have you ever heard of nodding? No. What's the nodding? So it's, it's, so it's basically like these dildos that like it's a thing in like like like the omegaverse almost where because the omegaverse is about like, it's like animalistic, it's very primal, but like the Dick will like swell up in the middle when it's about to come. And so the Dick can't come out and it's called nodding and they sell like some dildos like that.
I I think it's supposed to emulate like more animal anatomy. So I'm not a big fan of that, but it's usually connected to humans. So like that's a little better. But sometimes I see that I'm like, I don't know about that one dude. Well, you know, if people wanted. To stick that. Line it does, but. As long as the Dick's connected to a. Human. Well, you know what? There you go. That's all it is. Yeah, it's exactly. I mean, it's not as if they're, you know, dabbling into bestiality.
You know, you should. That's that's horrible. So yeah, use all the toys you want. And I can't believe you have to tell people that's horrible 'cause you've had people call you wanting to like. Oh yeah, dogs. It's like, Oh yeah. Yeah. What do you think we're doing over here? Yeah, it's the level of insanity with that it is like. Anytime I've ever heard of any of that shit, I'm like that is like the most appraised shit I've ever heard and I know insane people.
You know, and I'm happy to help anyone with their kink, you know, But again, there's a difference. Between being like immoral and then being. Kinky. Exactly. I. Feel like if you do have kinks that like, you know, you can figure out how to do it where it's not fucking bestiality, dude. Oh yeah. Go find a furry. Like, if you need to, if you need to bang that out of your system, go do it ethically. Don't, don't, don't be hurting nobody over it. Yeah.
Furry sex is so much fun too. Seems hot it. Would have to work well. Yeah, it would definitely have to work well, but yeah, I've had furry sex. It's been fun. It's great. I have a question, when you were younger, how did you get access to porn? Like because I imagine it's different than nowadays, because nowadays you type in one thing on your phone and you have access to like thousands and thousands. Of videos, yeah. See, in the 90s it didn't work that way. Did. You have to.
Go rent Avhs you. You could actually go to those porn stores and they would have, you know, a backroom. Yeah. And then a lot of times you could get, like, the porn magazines from them, so you could order, you know, your porn tapes and DVDs. The porn tapes, they were anywhere from, you know, $30 to $45.00 even back then. Yeah. But it would also they would also ensure that you'd have 4:00 to 8:00 hours on a video. Oh, so you owe. So that's how much content on a video?
Yeah. Oh, wait, that seems worth it though. That's like, not that bad. Yeah, 40. $5 for five hours, You said 4:00 to 8:00. Hours, yeah, a lot of it would be 4 to 8 hours because sometimes you would get like double. So they're like actual movies? Double VHS movies, yeah. Ohh see like nowadays when you hear like porn movie like the
longest ones you usually see nowadays like. 30 minutes, yeah, no, they would have like multiple scenes, multiple scenes, multiple actors or they would have like multiple scenes, same actors and based on the face back. And watched old porn or anything. Like that? Oh yeah. I might, I might go look, see what I can.
Find, let me tell you, I, you know, like I said, you would have to go and you could actually order on the, you would go to even porn stores and you could get like the magazine or you can go to a convenience store and you would get one of the magazines and then you'd have to mail order a catalog and then they would send you a catalog. Because the magazine was like, buy this movie. Yeah, yeah. That's very inconvenient.
It was very. Inconvenient, but I tell you, my ex-husband, you know, he started collecting porn when he was 1617. Addiction wasn't as rampant. Oh it was crazy. He literally his bedroom. He had an entire closet full of porn. So it was just as bad as it is. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, and I mean. That's much more shameful. He had like put this in perspective. He had almost 1000, 1000 VHS tapes. So that's like 6000. Hours. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah, it's a lot of fucking porn.
That's a lot of VHS. Tapes, yeah. And he had a lot of genres. I think I have like 3 VHS tapes and nobody played them. I actually ran over a bunch of VHS tapes last night. Why did you do that? Somebody dropped a box of VHS tapes and I tried to swerve around the pie level and I hit a few. I didn't know what they were and this morning I was driving back up that road and for a mile I thought there was tinsel on the
side of the road. But. Now so many people have ran over these VHS tapes for a mile. There's just the guts of them. And then I saw some people trying to like collect them and pick it up, but I didn't know that's what I ran over because I saw it and I was like, what the fuck was that like? That's crazy. I thought because it looked like a beer case almost so I thought they were flat in cans so when I hit them and it was sturdier than I can. I was like. Well hopefully my tire doesn't explode.
That suck fuck. So in you genres of porn, what are some of the other genres that you've seen? I've seen a lot of genres, I'd say like I tend to go for like less like sex. Like, I don't know, like why, but like, I remember I was young guys who really like, like just watching like videos of girls kissing. Yeah, that did it for me. Yeah.
It's, it's sensual. Yeah. And then if I did watch stuff, like I really liked videos of blow jobs, but specifically, like, more like, like tightly filmed, really kind of zoomed in a little bit. So that's usually when I watch, like, titty fucking videos. I rarely watch like actual sex. Like, even when I'm watching girl on girl, I won't watch the part where they start scissoring. I watch up until like boobies in the mouth and then I just start the video over.
I don't know why I don't like it. That's all. Me watching softcore on pornhub. My God is softcore in the 80s was was still awesome. You know HBO. You animated though, I'm watching everything. HBO used to have an after hours where they would use softcore porn and every now and then as a kid you go and sneak and watch it, you know, it's so funny. Yeah, so if I do watch like then fucking it typically is animated. Yeah.
But animated gets. I don't recall it weird, but it gets so like off the beaten path very quickly. And I'm not going to call it weird because like I've I've, you know, I've had some shameful, shameful masturbation for or you know, that postnup clarity and you're like, I don't know why I watched that video. I think we all get that. Like I'm talking about because like it very easily goes into like conflation. You know what that is?
Tell me it's basically where it's like it goes hand in hand with like, like big Dicks and they'll come into somebody so much their stomachs like swell up. Yeah, it's, it's, it's a whole like fetish, like inflation and conflation, like a big fetish. I have not seen this, Yeah. That well it's hard to like know about it because you could only really achieve it through animation.
Now I have seen videos where they mimic it for real and I don't know how these girls do it but like or like I've seen guys do it but like they somehow fill them their stomachs up real big and I think they're using air or video editing to make their stomachs look huge. But it's like it's very interesting. I've watched a few conflation videos. They're not bad, but like, they're just not my thing. They're like interesting, Yeah, I could see it interesting, but it could.
But it's a lot of like, you know what food cues are. Putnari is basically like this whole like subgenre of porn where it's basically girls with giant Dicks. And. So it's kind of like goes into like trans girl porn but like it's animated usually. But they. Sometimes have Dicks and vaginas. See, these are so many new words to me. I love it. But yeah, so there's a lot of weird porn out there. Yeah, see, give me good amateur porn and I'm all about it.
Sometimes I like watching the weird shit that, like, grounds me, OK? I don't know why. I'm like, I need something to humble me. I need something to be ashamed of, OK? Like, you know, there's this one German couple and I watch them all the time. I like to watch German, I like to watch French, you know? Yeah, I like to to listen to different people. I mean, sometimes Asian porn's OK, but I. Find it uncensored. Yeah, exactly. But you can't. It's so crazy because I don't like the.
Noises, the girls I don't, it's a little painful. Well, that's also why I don't watch like, normal porn sometimes because the noises the girls makes, I'm like, that's not sexy. That's scary. They're like screaming for help. And I'm like, I will say sometimes I, I am someone who enjoys a good stuck porn, you know? Yeah, like, Oh my gosh, I'm stuck in the washing machine sometimes. You got to go back to the classics. Oh no, I'm stuck in this window and I happen to have a towel in
the window so I don't get hurt. You're so silly. Well, sometimes you have to go back to basics. You do. And you know, like I said, I like I like to watch different types of porn. I think interracial is hot. I think gang bangs are hot. But I think to me. I'm a big fan of Girl on Girl and. Yeah, I mean, it's I like eye on eye. I I'm like you. I like the basics. I don't really get into the whole animation thing, but there are a lot of people love fucking
animated porn. I. Like it 'cause sometimes like, like, I don't know, sometimes like you just hear bad things about the porn industry. And so to me, it feels a little bit like less violating. Well, it also is less, like, I hate to say, it's like less violent. Sometimes. Like, yeah, sometimes like porn, like especially like between a girl and like a guy. Like I don't know what the the vibe is, but I'm like, girl, that's brutal. Like. Yeah, I get it, I get it.
I'd say like, but I don't really watch a lot of porn these days. I used to watch a lot more porn, but nowadays I kind of don't. Sometimes I do an audio audio porn and sometimes I just use my imagination. Imagination. I love it. Yeah. You know. I think I'm more of a fan of audio. I'm, you know, you know, you're more of a sensualist. I can see that I think. A lot of girls are, but I am essentialist so that makes sense. My my porn tastes are just a little odd. Yeah.
No, it's OK though. Yeah, I've never been turned on by watching like people fuck in person, yes. Online, no, I'm like you I but I like the concept of the amateur porn because it's just regular people, you know, say. When I have done watched it, it has been amateur. Yeah, because it feels more intimate and it's less produced. Yeah, I can tell there's a set of eight people behind the camera. I am not into it. Not at all, no. I need.
The lighting to be a little bad. I need your bed not to be made. Yeah. I need your like your smoke alarm to be beeping and like. Right. I mean, very vulnerable On this podcast. I don't talk about my port, no. It's OK. I mean, it's, it's informative, It's interesting, you know? I like watching sometimes like like some fetish videos that
aren't even necessarily porn. Like I because I like nylon, because I didn't know nylon was a fetish until I got older and I was like, oh, I kind of have a little bit of like a nylon fetish. You know, yeah, it's sexy. I found it really interesting. That's what you did during that session the other day. Yeah. Barbie went and put her arms through nylon stockings and basically rubbed this guy down. I had to tell because he had.
A you said he had a stocking a stocking, so we had him in stockings and and I basically like some I'm essentialist, so I do like sometimes I do more like massagy things. And so when she says rubbed him headed dot and do it wasn't no happy ending massage. No, no, no. You're rubbing his body. You're like giving him a body massage because he could did. You see, like how he reacted.
Oh my God, he loved it because. I was like, we need to do something because if he like came in saying like, oh, I, I really like stockings and nylons. I'm like, well, we got to do something a little bit more than just sticking in pantyhose. Yeah, I think I ended up. Wrapping them around his face. Too. You did. You did. You just just to add to it. Yeah, I thought that was great. I I like nylons. I think I I really like videos of like girls or guys like masturbating like their Dicks
through nylon. OK, that's hot. I think it is. I think it's very cool. For me, there is something hotter with like a modesty. It's almost like that, like, sorry. It's like, yeah, there's a little bit of that like air of mystery to things. Like it is, you know, when things are a bit more covered, I always think it's a little sexier than just being straight at Megan. You know, I couldn't agree more. Like I love like wearing like I always have something on and I fuck, I don't know why.
Like it'll be like like fishnets, like thigh eyes. It's usually on my legs because it's easiest. But like, I don't know, there's something just hot about having something. On there is Yeah, there is, you know, And it's like there's really nothing sexy at times when you're just like laying there here, take me. I'm. I'm not, I don't have anything on, you know, it's like, what's the aesthetics of that? You know, there's something sexy with that, like.
Run into issues when guys try to undress me but I wear so many layers and my layers are so in place but they grab it and they're like what the fuck and I'm like I have to undress myself please give me a moment. That's. Great, my outfits are cute, but they are hard to remove if everyone likes the golf girl in a harness. But have we imagined how hard it is to take off the harness? The harness I know. So what do you think? Is the been the most outrageous porn you've seen?
I will say when I was young I saw a vac bed porn and I but it wasn't a vac bed, it was a cube. That was a back bed. And I remember like, that was like my first, like exposure to more I, I'm going to say extreme BDSM and I'd never seen anything like that before. And I remember I told my friends about it and for years that was the craziest thing we'd ever seen. And then when I got here and I did the vac bed, it seemed like, and I after like growing up, it
seemed very much less extreme. But at the time because like I was used to just like boobies, Dick in porn. And he had like a penis pump on it. It was like nuts. And I was like, this is the crazy thing I've ever seen. How do you even get into that? And then like now I'm older and I'm like, oh, it's pretty easy to get it. Right. You know, my husband and I have a we don't have the cube, but we have the ball. And he actually cube's crazy. He was suspended. Yeah, I've seen the.
We want a different cube. Honestly, we want that, but we have the ball and it's almost like he's in a womb and you don't have access to any. I have to put the massager in there with them and like kind of move it around. I. Remember we one of my first sessions we put the massager in there with the guy and it immediately fell off. The second we turned back that on and we were like his thighs just going to vibrate.
I didn't mind being in the back bed just because I liked the sensory of it. I wasn't like sexually into it, but I think it it freaked me out 'cause I didn't have the earplugs in. I didn't want earplugs. My ear, my ear drums blow. I feel like I'd like it if I can control it from the inside. I know I. Feel like I wouldn't want someone waiting there for because I made it like a little embarrassing where I was like I would enjoy this if I could turn it off and on from inside the
thing. I know right? Which I'm sure like if we have it on like a little button thing you could. But yeah, because you have to turn the. Machine on. You can't. Do that, yeah. I'd say that was the craziest 1 I've seen. Now I've looked up funny. The thing is I've looked up
stupid stuff to find crazy porn. So I've looked up like horror before or like the word weird just to see what happens and I watched this one horror porn and the girl like rips the guys Dick off and like it wasn't real but like it was like that it was like really crazy and stuff like that. Wow. I did see a porn launch just to see if it had happened, if a guy had ever put his head in a woman's vagina and everyone read and seeing that. That made me for. Life because I have a
photographic memory. God. Yeah, you don't want to see stuff like that. I don't know what I was expecting it to look like, but when I saw it I was like I clicked out of it so quick. I think I have to go. I have to go do something. That was not fun. No, not sexy. Yeah, yeah, some stuff just travels. Into, not. Sexy. You know, and that's the thing when I'm looking at porn, if I see a gross vagina, yeah, or something that's like overly
hairy and gross, I hate. Close up I. Can't do. Yeah, I can't do. It girls, I do, I eat box but I can't do. It yeah, I can't do that. That's why I think I like the kissing and like maybe like boob stuff because like it's clean. To me, yeah. Like it's nice. It's cute. But I also think I'm AI like sloppiness a little bit. So I really like spit. So I think that helps. But also like, I don't know.
I know because I know the scissoring and porn is fake so I can't get into it. Like when girls are scissoring, I'm like, I know you're faking. You know, I don't, I don't know. I, I think I, I've known one of my friends that actually likes doing it. It was a kink for her. But I'm like you, I just don't think. I know scissoring can be done but the way it looks in the porn like that's not the scissoring, that's.
No. 'Cause scissoring is a little bit more like one person's laying down and one person's standing, it's not as cute. Yeah. But like, I don't know, sometimes it's just also I don't really like the porn look of porn stars. I'm gonna be honest, like. I agree when? They're a little too, like, perfect, yeah. And that's why I said I think that the amateur porn is better. Yeah, I, I found myself a lot of times I'm, I like to watch different types of fisting porn a lot of times.
I'm not into anything big with. Porn, I think it's hot. Because my taste in sex and stuff, like in real life is very different. Yeah. I feel like the porn I watch very like calm, very like, you know, it's nice. And then like when I have sex, I'm like, I can be rough. I can die tonight. That's great. Well, that's a nice way to end it. Oh, we already done We. I didn't mean to interrupt you about what you're talking.
About no, no, no, you're fine, you know, but just in general, you know, talking about different types of porn, it's just like, it's just an endless topic. It really is because you can just talk because there's so many genres and I feel like when you do what me and you do, you see a lot of porn just incidentally or and not even because we've just like, well, also like you experiment a little, you look up new things, you do like it.
There has been porn. I've looked up and I just wasn't into it the way I thought I would be. You know, stuff like I looked up, I think I looked up like lap dances once. It just wasn't what I thought it was going to be. I think I just wanted to get a lap dance and I was like, oh, this isn't hot. I thought this would be hotter. Have you gone to a strip club before? I have a lot of friends who are strippers so I got so if I'd go I'd probably see a friend.
OK, well, one night I, you know, I've talked about this with my very good friend Missus Griswold, and we actually want to go over to Niceville and there, there's a hole in the wall, it's a little club and they do full nude. So I don't think you're allowed to do full nude. You're. Really not, but they get away with it. Well, I'm saying here, yeah, I think you have to have a very specific license too. Yeah, well, they get away with it.
So either way, we're going to go there one night because it's a lot of fun. Yeah, like, well, The thing is I get invited to strip clubs a lot by like friends and stuff. Like I'll run into girls in the club and they'll just, they'll you should come dance with. Us. Are we talking like babes? Babes escapes. There's Adam and Eve. There's Sammy's. Well, Sammy's is. Now a pony club, I think, yeah. And they all want me to come dance. And I'm like, girl, I'm not doing that.
Like love and respect that you do it. I'm not brave enough because like, I was talking to like my friends and I think they work at like, they both work at the same strip club and they're really sweet girls. And we were just talking and I was talking about how like, oh, I do like a dominatrix and. Then. We're like, Oh my gosh, she'll make so much more money if you just come strip. And one, it's not really about
the money. Like, you know, you're not a stripper because you're into, you're a stripper because you want money, you're a dominatrix because you like BDSM. It's accurate. So but I was explaining to them, I said you don't understand. It's like at your job, they want to touch you and they're going to touch you and you have to often fight that off. I said at mine, I get to like be in charge. I get to say exactly what's
going to happen. Like a guy doesn't think he owns me because he threw me $20.00 because you run into that in strip clubs. I hear my friends talk about it all the time. Like they're like, oh, a guy thinks because he's throwing money at you, he's allowed to like stick his finger up like in your panties and stuff like that. I'm like, hey, guess where that doesn't happen at? Don't happen here. Exactly. I like that control. I like being able to like dictate what's going on and.
Like if you should come. Dance I'm like so I can get groped every night? I don't think so, baby. No. So I heard the clubs around here don't like fat girls. I can't imagine. I'm like, you know what? Their loss. It is their loss. I'm. Athletic, I can do a split. Right, because there's a lot of men that like bigger women, you know? Well if I did strip that means I I'd be like during the normal hours so I can still pretend I had a normal job.
I can go to. The club at like 10 to like 3:00 PM, yeah, that's when all the people come to see fat girls. And I can. Tell my friends, yeah, I work at Dillard's. They wouldn't know. Are we the babes? I got it, babes. That's great. That's fucking hilarious. Have you ever been a stripper? I've never been a stripper, never really wanted to be a stripper. And I'm like you, a lot of my friends were strippers. My my best friend growing up was a stripper.
They're nice people. It was great, you know, but I've I watched her just use her body so much to try to get what she wants. It's a different kind of grit you got. To it is. It is. You definitely have to be more willing to like, let your boundaries be impeded on, you know, and not. And that's not a bad like me talking down on strippers. I like strippers. But those men in strip clubs are there because they they want to almost own the women. Yeah. Men who come see us want to be owned.
And it's a very different vibe. Like, you know, as men here, like want to worship us, you know, and that's really fun. Like, I really enjoyed that. I'm into that. I don't know if I'd be into. I'm here, sweetie, I gave you 50 bucks. Suck my Dick. Yeah, no, I was with this one. This one guy, I really liked him. He was, God, he was 3435 and I was 21 and you know, he had the expensive car and the great job
and blah, blah, blah. But he was into BDSM, but kind of in denial of it. But he liked to put a clothes hanger and take the clips from the clothes hanger and put on his nipples, and he liked nipple torture. And I was like, well, there's other things that you can use besides a clothes hanger. Yeah, like. Normal safety clips. Yeah, like normal things, but it was funny. Perfectly that distance apart. Yeah, yeah. It was weird. He was. He was an odd man. He really was. I'm not.
In the nipple torture. But it was interesting because I went out with him one night and he wanted me to stomp on his Dick while we were eating dinner. And I was like, oh, OK, you know, But he wasn't paying me to do this. You know, We were just going on a date and I was like, you know, God, I get paid to do this, You know, why am I doing this for free? I definitely. Feel that sometimes.
Yeah, you feel it. So when you were talking about it the other day and I was like, I totally get you, Barbie. But anyway, I sent him over to my friend who was a stripper and she ended up going down and putting lit cigarettes on his Dick at her strip club where she worked in the backroom in the champagne room. Oh my gosh. And let me tell you, he fucking loved it so much. But he ended up giving her like 5-6 hundred dollars one night.
I was like, that motherfucker wouldn't pay me to stomp on his Dick. He I just got a free meal you. Know, that's the thing about strip clubs, is that the payout can be huge. Yeah, but how often is that happening? It's because my friends like, oh, I made $1000 in a night. OK. When was the last time you did that though? It's exactly, It doesn't count. No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter if you make $1000 once every six months. It's nothing. It's nothing.
I had a friend who quit stripping around, quit stripping because she said she'd walk in, she said. I quit stripping after I left the club with $14.00 and I said yeah. Yeah, you got it. That's it. At that point, you just got to go. Yeah, we're not in a big metropolitan area either, you know. No, I know girls who sometimes go up to New Orleans for a night, see what money they can make or like a weekend. Or I've seen girls go up to Atlanta for a weekend or two,
try to make some money. Yeah. Atlanta, you have to have a specific look. They like the big booty, big titty like BBL girls. Yeah, they do. So, but like if you're going more country, they like that more stereotypical, like skinny, skinny girl kind of big boobies. Yeah. Around here I think. Well, who knows? Who knows? You know everybody. Has a preference down 10 minutes ago and the certain.
Well, I, I thought it would be funny to end on, well, I could die tonight, you know, and choke me out and I'm like, OK, we're going to fuck it, you know? So if you want to see me and me and Mia strip, feel free to come to our next party. I have been trying to get Mia to buy a stripper pole. I've been requesting two things of Mia, a stripper pole and a cage. Look, I had a stripper pole before. Did a big bitch break it? That wasn't me. No, but there's going to be a
big bitch that breaks. It's going. To be Mia. It's a it's a hazard. It's me. As fault that I'm not a stripper at the party I also want a cage so we can put rabbit in there so rabbit now the. Cage, we're working on. I've already talked to Charles about it. We're working on that. We won't have it at this party. Yeah, we won't have it at this party. Rabbit's not going to be here anyway, but hopefully by the first of the year we'll have one.
However, we're not going to do the stripper pole. It is a hazard. You're right. I could just see some big bitch coming in, jumping on it. Yeah, ripping it from the. You're right, not all the big bitches have. Decorum like they don't. And we can say that as two big bitches, we can talk shit about other big girls, all right? God, we were earlier. Maybe that's a topic for a different. Person that is a definite topic for another episode. But in the meantime, you know porn.
I think the most you torture my dog. I know. I I was curious one time and I looked up what was the most typical or typically viewed porn. Step sister. No, no, it was breast play titty torture. Oh, I don't like titty torture. I. Like, yeah, yeah, but it was. Like nothing better than a pair of oiled up tits. Yeah, yeah, it's true. You can. Tell my bisexuality really showed this episode I. Did. I watch more girl porn than I do poor men. I've hit my microphone 20 times this episode.
Yeah, hopefully it's not going to fuck it up. Well, if it does, they can they can do. It it's Barbie's fault, it's Barbie's fault. I'll try to edit as much as I can, all right? On that note, Barbie, may all your fucking fantasies become fucking reality.