Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Mistress Mia's Dungeon. I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and you know the Barbie. Hello. I like that. Thank you. I'm going to do. A little duet. I Can't Sing. Liar. I know you can sing. No, I. Can't everyone's? No, I can't. We gotta. If we go to karaoke, I'll prove it to you. OK, you prove it to me.
My favorite thing to do is I'll go up there and I'll sing I need a hero, but I'm not a good singer, so I subject everyone to 4 1/2 minutes of me yelling so. Is I need a hero? Oh. I need a hero. I think the song is actually 5 minutes and there is like a 45 second like interlude. Oh my God, fuck. OK, maybe I don't want to go to karaoke with me. No you don't. I cause problems.
I haven't been back to my usual karaoke spot in a few weeks because the karaoke girl got mad at me because I accidentally touched her speaker and I'm nervous to go back. Oh shit. I didn't know it was a speaker. I thought it was a wooden pillar, so I grabbed it. She's like, get your hands off my speaker. And I was like, Oh my God, girl, I'm just a girl. No, but it's OK, I'll go back one day. Wow, Wow. OK, so Tony, he wrote me an
e-mail. Yeah, he, I'm going to skip a couple of things because we were talking about meeting at some point. Yeah, because I'm going right through his area. Oh yeah. I'm also going to be seeing Steve in October as well. I know that there's parts where you really haven't listened to all of the episodes because it's 300 episodes, a lot to catch up on. But there's this guy Steve. He went through a really difficult time in his life and he had kind of fallen into the trap of fake Doms.
Oh. Yeah, and gave them money and and then his family resented him and then his wife left him and then they're separating. Oh, my gosh. And he's dealt with, you know, two kids that are adult children. Disowned him and left him because of the fake doms. No, no, no. But it's more or less like it's gotten to the point where they really had a lot of. It was other stuff. Yeah, they had a lot of. Different. That didn't help it. No, it did not.
But I told Steve that I'd meet him, and, you know, he started his own podcast. I think, I think you mentioned that it's like Steve, Steve's yes, subspace was, that's what it was. And, you know, he does stories and, you know, he's an avid listener of our show. That's nice. And, you know, he's just a nice guy. He's a very nice guy. And I think a lot of our listeners are nice people that just want a good laugh, you know? But Tony says, I love that you and Barbie are getting together
on the podcast. Yay. I told you before I loved hearing you talk shop. I'm in. I'm in the middle of your second episode as I write this. Currently stuck in the line at the DMV. So sorry, he said. Help me. God, just hearing you utter my name is the presence of Barbie in the presence of Barbie made me so happy. He's like, I want to apologize on behalf of all men. I hate hearing your horror stories. I hate that people men can be so
inconsiderate. Please do not hesitate to put me in place if I'm ever rude, annoying, or bothersome in any way towards you. I try my hardest to be respectful of you, your time, and the work you do. I hope you have a fun weekend planned and I wish you no drama in the dungeon. Oh God, Tony. I love you. That's so sweet, Tony. It's been a rough week. They really, Tony, it's it's
been a very difficult week. And, you know, I'm pushing through, but it's going to be Barbie and I from this point on. And, you know, we'll have guests and there's a lot of people that actually want to come back on our show. To interview, Yeah, because I started not really an interview. I just kind of just was on an episode. That's kind of what I did. And we filmed once and it turned into three episodes. Because I'm a professional
yapper. Well, something that Barbie doesn't know, and I'm going to go ahead and say it now, is we're going to do a few things different on Fucked Up Friday. We're going to be doing something that is will be beneficial to a lot of people and we're going to basically teach technique on certain things. And I think that some of them will be PG and others will be, you know, other will be really nasty so. Yeah, you perverts. Yeah, we love our fucking
perverts. So before we get into the topic of this today, I will say that Barbie and I were in the dungeon today and we did a scene. We did. We did. And this guy said to Barbie, say it, Barbie, just go ahead and tell. Them I forgot. No, no, no. He said to you, he's like, would you just sit in my face while I while I play with your feet? And she's like, I don't. Do that, but I'm not a there fan. Yeah. Mia's there, you go ahead and ask her. She might coordinate something
with you. And you know, I was wearing my black PVC pants, which Brie fucking about came on herself when she saw me in the love Brie. Yeah, So I went and I, the guy sat on the floor. He's leaned up against the couch. Barbie is touching his Dick with her feet. Stepping on it. Stepping on it and he's playing with his little Dick and I just stood there, leaned back and gave him a nice mouthful of my ass and PVC pants. Plastic ass right there. Plastic ass, yes.
Well, you know, I think that just brings up the topic of like every Dom is different and different Doms are comfortable with different things. Like I know there's Doms that work for you that don't mind certain things where others do, where for me personally I it might be because I'm newer to doing it, but I know I prefer not to. Like I don't really want a lot of touching. Like it's more about for me, it's about the person I'm
working. For you went slopper on your feet, as you said to the guy before at the public dungeon. Yeah, exactly. And so like in the dungeon, like today, for example, when he's like, can you put your ass in my face? I, I said no because like, you know, that's not really something I'm interested in doing. It's a boundary for me. But I think also it depends on what I'm wearing. And I wear like mini skirts with like underwear. So it would be like really like invasive for for me to put my
ass in his face. I mean, maybe if I was wearing something like you were like PVC leggings and like, maybe I'd consider it. But like I'm like, no, my Kitty cat's almost out. Like I can't have you that close to it you. Had to air that shit out during summertime. It's hot out. I got big guys. I need all the ventilation I can get. No, but yeah, I mean cuz like you have, you have Doms that work with you that are, you know more open to different. Things you're carefree about a
lot of stuff. And I think, like you said, I think the older you get, my women over 40, they're kind of just like, yeah, you want me to suffocate you with my titties? Sure. I don't know. I have titties but I don't think I got enough for suffocating. Trust me, you always have enough titties for suffocating. In his nose. Those are tits. Yeah, yeah, it's me plugging the silicone ones out of the cabinet. Or you can do the fun thing that
I always did to my husband. He was just like, I want you to sit on my face. But he loves the feel of plastic. So I would I would always take like a Walmart bag and put the Walmart bag on his head and then sit on him with my bare pussy. Just saying. So you could do that to Little Boy Toy this week. He's really into suffocation. Exactly. I will say the other day he, he, he has real big dreams. And sometimes I have to shoot his dreams down because of
experience and practicality. But he texted me and he was like, I want you to put me in the vac bed, which if you don't know what the vac bed is, it's like a giant Ziploc bag. You get in and we suck all the air out of it. It's made of latex. And he's like, I want you to put me in the vac bed and I want you to get on top and I want you to choke me out. And then like I'll come to still
in the back bed. And I had to tell him I was like, one, I can't get on top of the back bed, it'll damage it. Two, when you're in the back bed, I won't be able to tell when you black out because there's only one little pea sized hole that you can breathe out of. So you just black out. I wouldn't even know. I'm like, how am I supposed to make sure you're OK? Also, I've never even knocked someone out before. So I was like, look, this is a little out of my pay grade dude.
I got to get a little bit more experience under my belt. Maybe I'll knock you out outside of the back bed or something like that, right? That was a little, that was a little scary. Like the idea of like choking someone till they pass out is scary for me. Like I'm not opposed to trying it, but I am just like, damn, what if I get into felony right now? That's what I get nervous of. Like I sometimes I get scared.
I'm like, I don't want to actually hurt somebody in a way they don't want me to. But what I've realized, a lot of these bitches want me to hurt them harder. Well, you know, lucky for me, like I always told my husband, is that at this point in our lives, are we going to be doing this shit when we're 70 or 80 and I have to explain to the police how I killed you, You. Know.
And then I'm going to be like, look, we're going to take as many pictures and videos as you fucking want, 'cause this will be my proof. I feel like it happens more than I feel like if the police probably get calls like that more than you'd think. Oh yeah. Like, I feel like auto erotic asphyxiation probably gets more people than they'd like to admit. Like the ER people. A cousin of mine, she used to work in the ER and she says half of her calls are just people
with things stuck up their ass. Oh, yeah. So guys, a flared base is so important. If you don't want to go to the hospital with something up your ass, use a flared base. Or just buy a sex toy if you want something up your ass that bad. And she said they'd always make excuses like, oh, I slipped in the shower and landed on it. They always. They always. Not a porno, what are we talking about? It was just really funny. I know, I think Eminem actually says it in his song.
What did you do? Trip, slip, fall, land on his Dick. Yeah, yes. I love you, Marshall Mathers. Just saying. But yeah, you know, that's some funny shit. So Barbie and I were actually going to talk about Fetlife today because there's a lot of people that they don't really know what Fetlife is. Yeah. And you know or how it works. Or how it works. It took me a minute to even figure out what was going. On So tell us, what was your first experience?
So a long time ago when I was like 19, maybe 18, I was pretty young. I was talking to a Co worker and we worked at it like a pet place and there was this giant bedazzled pink collar. And I said I like that. But I was like I like that in a fashion sense. And she's like, I like that in the way I want to be pulled around by that. So we got in the top the topic of kink. So I'm a virgin.
I don't know anything about it, but like, you know, I've read like fan fiction, so I think I know shit and this woman's just telling me things and I'm like, how do you find this? And she told me about Fetlife. Well, I made an account that night and I got on there and little, like I think I, I think I was 18, little 18 on here. It freaked me out 'cause I had no clue how it worked and there was probably still an account out there 'cause I didn't delete it.
I just never, I just abandoned it. There's an account out there with my actual name on it and a picture of me from like six years ago, I think. And I, I might try to find it. That'd be really funny. I report it so I can take it down, but I abandoned it and then I didn't get it again until I was like 22. And then that was when I told the story, I think a podcast or two ago where I just randomly redownloaded Fet and then found an event and just went there like immediately.
So both times were kind of impulsive. But I'm more active on Fet now than I ever have. And I will say it took me a minute to understand the app formatting and understand like, oh, this is like my homepage and this is where we find things. And the only thing that's different about fet than like than other social media is that they don't really have like an explorer or a like a for you page. So anything you want to find,
you have to go find it yourself. So it's not like things are going to get suggested to you, which I think that's the only big difference. So like, really it's, it's a very intentional app. You have to go search for what you want. But I do think it's fun and it's, it's easy to like, you know, know what people are interested in. You can go to their profile and
read their fetishes. I always think it's fun, you know, like I meet a new person in the scene to go to their profile and read what they're into and read what they write and see what photos. Because you can learn a lot about somebody and like their experience in the kink community by what they post, you know? Yeah, I really think so, too. I think that people don't realize, too, how they represent
themselves. Yeah. Because immediately a lot of people are just like, Oh yeah, I'm going to post this picture and this picture, and that's my story about that. Yeah. And we're like, whoa, whoa, you know a lot of guys. I think there's an artistic way to post Dick pictures. And then there's there's ways that don't go very well. There's ways that are terrifying to look. At you know, and again, I say this, there's only 18% women who
listen to this podcast. So all these other men I'm taking, please, I'm going to give the advice to you. When you take a Dick picture, don't include your asshole in that picture. Flash probably isn't going to work if you're sweaty. No, it's not and it needs to be. Women are more turned on by the illusion and the mystery of it. So like even the top maybe where it bends a little bit, maybe that's a little peeling, you know, they show a bit, a little
of the tummy. I'd say, you know, like personally, sometimes I find just not an actual Dick picture sexier like like a picture, like some of the stuff I've seen where like when a guy has his underwear like halfway down, like what you say that's hot or like sexy guy that we talk about from parties. His only picture on fet with a while is just a picture of his bulge, not even out. And I was out and I'm like, and you can tell it's a big Dick. You don't even got to show it off.
You're like, there it is. And I also think like, look at what's in the background and that goes for everybody. Oh my God, I've seen. Some nudes on fet and I'm like I can see your entire kitchen sink on the background like like like a mess to. Bathroom pictures, The bedroom pictures put shit on the floor. Right down your mirror like before you post things. Anytime I've taken a picture in my dirty room and I do have a dirty room, I crop it in.
I crop out my mess I love. How you like, freely admit. This I do. I'm a big fan of the floor drobe, so I keep all my clothes on the floor. That way I can walk on them and then be upset that they're dirty when I need to wear them. Because I love making my life harder for myself, of course. You do. It's also great when my giant pit bulls sleep on my black clothes and then now there's white hairs all over it.
I don't you love. That love that so much love that for me, you know, but yeah, I'd say like just really like look at the pictures and go like, like just look at what's going on in it. Like do you have dirt in the background? Is your mirror all messed up 'cause I will say there's. I've seen sexy pictures of ladies but when the mirror you're taking a picture and it's covered in toothpaste. OK, so we're both by. Yeah. OK. Happy pride. Thank you.
Do you find it sexy, though? I I don't like this at all. I don't like when women spread their vagina. I think there's a time and a place for it. I personally I think the time and place is in person. I thank. You OK? All right, I think you can take cute pussy pics, but I do think that I feel like that's just something like I personally wouldn't post it. It's so. Personal. It's so personal. Well, we, I'll tell you the story real quick.
And me and like, you know this, but there was this girl that wanted to work in the dungeon and she's like really pretty, you know, she wanted to do it. She's really young. And so she comes in, she meets Mia and, you know, everything go, it goes. All right. You know, she could have been a bit more like, like taking a bit more. Yeah, a bit more initiative because like, when I talked to you about working in the
dungeon, I was very forward. And when I met with you, you know, I asked a lot of questions and she kind of didn't do that to think she was just being shy. But she texts me later and she's like, what kind of picture should I put on my foot? And I was like, you know, make me you look cute. You can tease it. And I don't think I communicated right because I checked her foot. And hold on, hold on though, you took pictures with her. Yeah, in the dungeon in. The dungeon, so she had.
Pictures that would have been perfect. Yeah, they were fully clothed. You did a little bit of rope. You did, you know? They were the rope pictures of her tied up might not have been the best because if she wants to be a Dom. But the picture was cute. I used it. I was gonna. Say, but it would have basically shown, hey, I can do rope, yeah, you know, and you could have cropped your face out, just
saying. But I go back to her profile like a day or two later and and she had posted them all at once. She had posted like 15 photos of her like completely naked and like that's fine. Oh, and sucking. Dick, it was a picture of her getting fucked from the back, a picture of her sucking. Dick. It was a picture. I think she posted a spread picture too. And I mean, she's gorgeous.
She looked amazing, but I had to text her and I'm like, hey, like that makes you look more like a porn star or a constant or like, yeah, well, especially if you're working somewhere, you can't post that. I mean, if you're an only fans girl, post it. Make your money, babe. Also, I had to tell her don't post that for free. Don't, don't post your pussy for free, guys, Right. You're gonna post. I mean, unless you're into that, but like, make some money off it if you're gonna post it.
But yeah, she took it all down. And she was like, yeah, I had a feeling that was the case. I just thought it would help, like get me more traction. And I was like, it gets traction, not the traction you want. Though not the traction you want. And that's where I said that's not stuff we do in the dungeon. No, nobody's gonna suck your Dick. No one. This is BDSM. So the pictures were not BDSM. Yeah, and that's like, you know, I think she just didn't understand.
And the difference between BDSM and porn, and I think some people don't, is that BDSM is inherently sexual, but it doesn't have to be sex or porn or nudity. You can go through my vet and there's not, I'm not naked on it. And it's not 'cause I judge people who are. I just my preference is I don't want to be naked online. I don't want people to be able to see that for free. And I think you have like, cute seductive pictures. Yeah, because the picture a
little coy, they. Are and I and I think it's alluring in the sense that, hey, there's a lot of mystery and you're not going to see Barbie naked. You will never see Barbie naked. Yeah, these are the pictures that unless you're one of the few lucky winners, well, you know, it's weird is that on Fet certain pictures like don't do as well as you think they will. And then other ones do really
well. Like that one photo of me you use on your website, the one where I'm in clown makeup, not the one of me sitting, but the one where I'm standing and I have the rip Nets on and I look kind of scary. That's one of my most top like photos on Fet. It's a great photo. Yeah. As opposed to like a picture where like my ass is a little out or pictures where I look like real feminine. Like those pictures they get good likes but not compared to
that one that one like. I want to say I was like quite a bit of likes for me. I have a smaller account, so it's not like I get like thousands of likes. But no, I was I was shocked that that one did as well because sometimes I get nervous that like the the scarier I look just won't be as appealing and just people just won't like it. But I don't know the few times I've posted looking like a little freak, Y'all? Purvis loved it.
Right. I don't think there's any anything wrong with that because there's a lot of people that enjoy the sense of looking at a woman that is dressed in. Clown pain. I love clowns, you know, they love that beyond sexually. I just love clowns. And you know, Shaman Sinister smile. He's our great friend. I love Shaman, he tells me this story one time where he fucked a chick and she wanted him to wear his clown face mask and clown maybe. Completely understand her. Yeah, and.
I'm more of a fan of not mask but like the actual makeup. I love a man in makeup. Maybe it was just the makeup, but I know that he was just like, yeah, she wanted me to wear. If a man who looked like Frankenfurter hit me up, it would be a wrap. I marry I would I love a man in shitty drag, but not modern shitty drag, but like that 80s like, you know, loose fitting corset. Oh, I love that like that kind
of drag queen. The drag Queens nowadays, like I I'm I'm not the biggest fan of like them sexually, you know, but I like them older ones like that, that look like that old school kind. That's my favorite. So I'm gonna educate you. Educate you. Go for it, educate you. 3 minutes old. But you know how you say this is goth? Goth is this is, this is the black, it's the spikes. It's all this. Well, let me tell you, back in the 80s, it was fucking punk. Well, yeah.
And well, I think all the subcultures like back in the 80s, because I do know a lot about it, unfortunately, because my dad was a metal head. So we always, we always talk about like music history and stuff. And so it is funny how they were all born kind of in the same time around the same thing and there wasn't a big difference. But it is funny looking back now, there's a difference.
So people who didn't like consider themselves goth, punk or even a metal head because I didn't really exist at the time nowadays would be categorized as like this, that and the 3rd. And I do think like modern goth is very different than like the 80s trad goth. I always, I love the 80s trad goth. I wish I was like, like I could pull that off. It's just not my style. Like rabbits. More of a trad goth with like that full like kind of. Yeah, and I'm totally lost with.
That yeah, well, it's all, it's a music based subculture, but it is kind of flourished into now a fashion subculture where there's actually not a lot of goth music as you'd think. There is like there's a few like main bands that do a lot of cool stuff and of course there's new stuff being made, but honestly not a ton. And so there's not a lot of goth music, but there's a lot of goth fashion subculture now. And all these little losers like to argue about it online.
That's awesome. They always like to call people. Same thing with punks. I was in the punk scene a while. They all like to argue about it. It's so annoying. I'm like, guys, we all can't get jobs so who cares? We're all not getting hired because we have piercings in our face. Let's just work together. That's awesome. But yeah, so back to fat, back to fat profiles, you know, there's a really a lot to say about that. And I think your profile reflects what you're looking for.
And. If you I the one thing I will say that I don't understand is when I've had people hit me up being like, Hey, I love your like, they're not necessarily being gross, but they're like love your profile. I really like to get to know you. I would like to like potentially play. And of course, I don't really respond to people I don't know, but I'll click on their profile out of curiosity. No pictures, no description, no fetishes listed.
It's an empty profile, no friends not following anyone. So one, I know you just made this or two, you don't actually like use your fet. And my question is, would any of y'all go meet a profile with no pictures on it And no, no listing, no nothing. Like what are you thinking when you message someone like that? Like it is it is basically it means nothing to me because I don't know who this is. You could be anybody. You could be anything.
I if you have pictures of yourself, a small description like you don't have to post your face. But if you at least have a filled out profile, you are 10 times more likely to get people like responding to you and to get girls to like talk to you or to get guys or whoever you're trying to pull. But man, these blank. They'll hit you up being like, do you want to meet up? And I'm like, I don't even know if you're real. You could be a robot for all I know. You could be a fed. Unbelievable.
You know, I I really hate on dating profiles and sometimes I see this on. Fed I hate dating profiles. They'll show the same pose but different outfits, same same type of picture, you know? And all you see is like the chest up. That's all you see. I, I will say I don't, I think sorry my, my brain farted really bad just then. No, but I think like, Oh my gosh, what was I about to say? When we're talking about profiles and basically. I feel like I just had an aneurysm. Wait, I'm so sorry.
No, did you see the light leave my eyes? I did caught the thought I haven't eaten all day and I'm a little sleepy. So let's go back to this. We'll say this with that so. OK, You were talking about people posting, like, the same picture. Yes. Yeah, that does. To me, it doesn't look good. It doesn't, like, show me anything interesting about you. It just shows that you know how to stand in the same spot over and over again in the same
outfit, basically. Or you know, OK so I'm on dating apps now and I hate when guys will post pictures and all of their pictures they'll be in Snapchat filters.
Not and that's not just a fix filter that changes color, it's filters that like obscure your face and they'll post like 6 pictures of them with either Snapchat filters, it'll be like 1/4 of their face or it'll be them in a giant group picture where you can't zoom in. And I'm like, would you swipe on a girl who only posted that prop? Actually, probably. Men are easy. Men. I always say that men are horse. Like oh, she got a pussy. Oh yeah, OK here. Is it warm? Is it warm in a hole?
It could be an Ant pile. As long as it's warm and a little damp. Could be anything. Small bag of macaroni. I don't know. I came in contact with some guy and he was talking at a local event that I went to and he was talking about this chick that he passed. He's like, yeah, I fucked her. Oh my God, It was like throwing a hot dog down a down a hallway. I'd. Kill myself if a man said that and I was. Like that is horrible. And why would you say that to people?
Why? And you know what's crazy? He was probably lying. His Dick is probably small. That's what I was thinking, but I wasn't going to say that little. Pencil Dick. Her pussy wasn't big, her Dick was just small. Barbie. I love it. I love it. But but yeah, with the profiles, especially if you're using FET to potentially date or to find partners, you need to put stuff in your profile that you would want to know about your partners, especially things like
fetishes, pictures of you. You don't have to post your face, but like things you want to know, like, hi, this is what I'm looking for. There's like an option to put so much stuff on Fet. You can exactly list what you're looking for. You can list as hookups, cyber sex, I'm looking for friends, events.
I'm only listed as events and I have people hit me up all the time wanting to fuck or wanting to play and I'm like it just tells me immediately you're not reading and so you don't actually care about what I'm doing, my event and who you. Really are, yeah. Because my profile is I think on Fed they mark certain profiles as professional profiles and I
am marked under that. So like if you have certain settings on, you can't find me because any solicitors get put in a different cattle even though I'm not fucking doing that. But I have it listed as I'm only looking for events. I don't even say I'm looking for friends, but I still have people all the time that DM me and they're wanting to do all this stuff. And I'm like, if you don't care enough to read my profile then you're not going to be a suitable partner for me or a
suitable play partner. You know, I can't deal with that. You know, if you can't even spend 2 minutes reading something, that's all it says. But just read profiles before you message them and make sure your profile looks good and present yourself well and you'll have a lot more success in the dating scene and in the king scene that. Way you know, my thing of it is people always message me and they're like, so how can I find your event? How can I find?
Literally right there. Yeah, how can I find your next party? I'm like, dude, you go to the tab at home and you Scroll down and it's. I had a guy who kept going. Oh, well, well, wouldn't Mia's next party? And I was like, it's in the event listing. It's or you can go to her page and look at it. Oh, if you can just send me the date. No, I'm not gonna fucking send you the date if I know how to go find it. You can go find it. Are you his secretary?
Exactly. I'm sorry You messaged me wanting something from me. Yeah. Like, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you how to go find Mia. Like, go do it on your own. Like not to get aggressive, but it's like, don't ask me for things if I can go find the event, you can go find the events, you know? Entirely true. But you know, it's just interesting like because it took me a minute because I didn't know where anything was on the app. But now that I know it's, it's much easier.
Is it much easier? I don't check my friend request, I'm really bad about that. Well you need to add your friends bitch. Well people won't tell me when they friend me because I have a lot of friend requests like I have like 90 something right now because it's just random guys or random people. Sorry guys I'm not gonna just like call y'all out 24/7 but a lot of random people friend me and I don't I won't respond and so somebody will.
I had this happen where someone friended me and they actually like knew me and then later they're like you never responded to my friend request and I'm like, I didn't know you sent me one 'cause I just, I don't look at it anymore. And and you know what I do sometimes that's bad.
I sometimes mass decline 'cause you have an option to decline all and sometimes I'll decline them all and then I'm like, oh, hopefully it didn't hurt no one's feelings 'cause I'm not going through it. Do you get a lot of friend requests on Fet? I do get a lot of lot of lot of friend requests. Do you accept your friend requests 'cause like I just said, I don't go through mine.
I do because I specifically said on Fet I say to people we're all here for the same reason, kink, that they can always friend request me and I'll accept anyone's request. Oh, that's nice. And I do that because for one, we promote the podcast that way. Yeah. Two, I promote the dungeon and the parties, Yeah. So whatever people see me post, it's going to come up in. Their feet, you know, that's pretty smart. Well, I mean people can follow you though and you don't to
friend them. They they can, but you know why not true, You know why not? I hate reading profiles on there where they're just like, I'm not going to friend you unless I've met you in person. It's like, yeah, you're not. I'm not that strict with it, but I part of me is just like if I accept everyone said, like you said, I'm gonna have to accept them all. And I'm like, I just don't feel like having all that in my feed. If you want, if you want to watch my stuff, you can follow me.
And if you want to be my friend, you got to make an effort. Got to impress me or something like that. But that's me. But I'll never put it in my profile or anything like that. Well, you know, there's a setting on Fet now where when you hit that friend request or that message button, something will pop up and go just a reminder. So and so is only looking for this. So think before you message.
And I think you can, you can program that in to like to double remind people like the like when you message them, it'll be like she is not looking for hookups. Don't message her if that's what you're looking for. And you can still message them anyways. But I like that, you know, that way you have to put in your. Profile. I think there's a lot of cool features to Fetlife, but I still think that can be a little more
user friendly. It is like, especially with the chats, like I was trying to scroll up in me and my my little boy toys chat 'cause I was looking for something. And when you load the older messages, it takes you to like seven weeks ago and I'm like, Oh my gosh, we text so much. I have to scroll all the way down. Or like I sent him something on Fet and it made a whole new chat and I was like, Oh my God, what is going on right? It was so annoying. Yeah, there's really a lot of
parts to FET. That's cool. Yeah, you know, there's aspects of it, but like you said, in order to find something you really have to go and look. For it, especially fetish wise, you know? And if there's somebody specific, unless you spell their name absolutely correct with the underscores and everything, you're fine. Capitalization. Yeah, it's stupid. It's like, come on, be some vague. Give something vague. I think it's the case. I use that life on my phone.
I have a little widget for it so it looks like an app even though it's still a browser and it's nice. But I think they should can they move to an app? They should try it. They do. Have an app. They have an app. They do have an app. I can't find it. It's not. Easy. I tried to find their app and I didn't see it. Maybe it's only for Android? Oh, that could. Be because I have iOS. Yeah, that that could.
Be but I use it like now I have like a little like emoticon on my screen so it looks like an app and I like it much better so I don't have to go to the website every time. Yeah, I'm well, I'm not. Down. I accidentally logged out the other day and I thought I deleted my account for a second. I was really high and I was like Oh my God. And then I just logged right back in. Dipshit, That's hilarious. It's so. Stupid but. Anything else we'd like to tell people on this because.
I don't know. This is going to be our version of Just a Chat. Oh you know I don't know, I feel like my profile looks cute and I feel I just wish people would just put more effort into it. Especially if you're wanting to get things out of fet, like if you're just on fet to lurk. Oh don't post anything just do whatever you want. But if you're looking for a partner or a girlfriend, boyfriend, a play partner, Dom or submissive, you really need to, you know, put out some good energy you.
Know amp it up. Look good try effort takes you so long like such a far away and the episode we posted today the Mia and Barbie love your cock thing or something like that. Effort will get you so much more game than anything else. You want to get laid? Put in effort. Literally it. And nobody wants to see Dick pics. I mean, unless your cock is so fucking memorable, don't fucking post. Don't look up. I know, like, people watch porn
of women a lot. So I feel like women have a lot of like, like resources to know how to pose. If you want to know how to send a Dick pic, look up some porn of guys and see how they're posing. Yeah, because that's what's gonna look good. I don't don't think you're gay or anything like that. Like don't freak out on me. But if you need like some help, like, like if you want to post like a Dick pic and you don't know how to do it, look it up. Look it up. Look it up.
See what guys that are like get paid to be hot do like. Not trying to be rude. Exactly. I know this was back in the early 2000s. Fucking Mark Wahlberg and that that fucking Calvin Klein ad and that commercial. He fucking has the picture and they enhanced his junk, but he's got his hand on his Dick. It's on the outside. It's his fucking print. It's his man print. That's what women want to see.
They want to see. These some of these Dick pictures y'all post look like mug shots of your Dick. Oh my God they do. It looks like clinical and scary. It does. You look like you're in an airport bathroom. And you know, there was a guy, I don't know if you know this, a lot of people don't realize this, OK, But guys, if you don't alternate the way you're masturbating. It won't make your Dick sideways. It will, it will make your Dick sideways.
And there's this guy and he fucking posted this picture and his Dick is a fucking hook. And he said, hey ladies, you want to get that hook on hook which. Direction cuz I'm at. It was he pulls it out from the base of his cock and he twists it to the left and you could tell it's a fucking. It looks like a cane. Like a fucking walking I. Feel like a slight hook upwards is very pleasant. Well, upwards, yeah, I could see that first. If you're gonna hook your Dick,
hook it upwards. If you're gonna deform yourself, do it in a good way. Do. It in a good way yeah, my ex-boyfriend used to do that. He would pull his Dick up and it was a nice, it was a nice, you know what feel to. That you're definitely right, because now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like one of the guys I used to be with, he, he had a slight hook. And now that I think about it, I've seen him masturbate and I'm like, that's how that makes sense.
I can't wait to. I'm going to text him after this and tell him why his Dick is crooked. Yeah. That's why he did it himself. I'm really Hey, guess what, your Dick's crooked, right you. So guys fucking pull that shit up, you know, pull. It towards your and they'll get a splint. Make it. Get some popsicle. Sticks, you know, straighten that shit out. Talking about Mark Wahlberg. There's a movie playing in the background. Yeah, fucking.
So if I start studling over my words, it's because I have one brain cell and there's pictures on the TV and I'm dying. OK, so anyhoo. Anyhoo. Anyhoo, who? All right, so we're back to all the other stuff we've discussed. Yeah, it's always interesting. We always go on tangents. You're welcome. It's OK, guys. You're going to get used to this. I swear.
At some point, if there's a suggestion that you have for Barbie and I and you want us to talk about it or you want us to stop doing it, you just tell us. If you want Barbie to take some ADHD medicine before the podcast so we can have one cohesive conversation, that will not be happening. Wow, yeah, send in questions, send in things you want to talk about. Yeah, you can message, you can message me or you can message me. I'm the under score Barbie on Fett, the B and the.
B to promote. That Oh, thank you. I've read your mind. Fuck yeah. The Barbie, the Barbie, the under score Barbie. I know that's so cute. I considered it changing it to TH EE like like Megan Thee Stallion. But then I was like to be like the Barbie. But then I'm like the Barbie's fine. I wanted to be just Barbie but somebody else already had that. Wow I know, so rude. Those cunts. How dare someone pick something before me? Those cunts. All right. On that note, Barbie, are we done?
Yes, all right. Let's go eat some sushi. So until then, may all your fantasies become. That does not sound sexy. You fucking do that again. Do it. Realities. Realities. There we go. Me as bedtime story voice. There you go.