Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress. I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got with me Madame Liv. Good morning. Madame Liv and I, we haven't gotten to do an episode in quite some time and we right now today we want just to talk about some basics. And I thought, I just thought, hey, Liv, let's get on Grok and ask Grok. What are the most common BDSM questions that people ask about on the Internet? And the number one question was, what does BDSM stand for and
what does it involve? Oh, that. Was easy. That's easy, right? So bondage, domination, sadism and masochism. So Liv and I always do bondage, you always do discipline. I try to. Yeah, and I know I'm a sadist. I'm pretty fucking mean sometimes. Liv's been really fucking mean at times. Too, It depends who comes in. It depends, yeah. It's like I would that be considered a switch if I can switch between sadist or dominant?
Yeah, I mean, I'm a switch because I mean, I think you could be dominant no matter what, But you know, sadist is if you really want to hurt someone. And there's been times where. Sometimes I do get turned on. Yeah, by really hurting someone. Yeah, I don't know why, but it's only if they want it though, Yeah, otherwise I feel guilty belly and my feelings will get hurt for them. I think it's just the power aspect of things. I think it's power, yeah, it's the high. Yeah, it's high, for sure.
And then masochism, where honestly, you want to get hurt, you want to feel pain. And we've had a lot of people that are like that, yeah. So. Yeah, so that's the easy enough question now #2 it says why do people practice BDSM? So why do you think? Liz, I wouldn't say that's an as easy to answer as the other question. No. Because I feel like everybody goes for it for different reasons, obviously, to be one with themselves, yeah. So Grok basically said common curiosity, right?
Endorphin rushes, emotional intimacy, stress relief, or exploring fantasies. Yes. All of the above. All of the above. Yeah, we see just people on a more of a professional basis with a lot of things. That's true because you know, in your last episode you had Master Cauldron. He even said if it's for 5 minutes or five years, I put my all into it. He does. He's emotionally put into himself into it, and a piece of him is with his sub. I believe that in all ways.
I can say. That to watch them go through that, you know. I can say. You're the one in charge of how much they can go through in it where the line is drawn. You know, I agree with you in that aspect. So yeah, so yesterday a lot of people, they wish me happy birthday and they were super sweet. And there was people obviously that we've seen professionally. And, you know, I look at them and I'm like, like Sir Doofus, I love him, love him, love him.
And you're right, that is an emotional connection. That whole Abd that whole ABDL scene, it's, it goes beyond that because if you were to call me tomorrow and say, Mia, I'm out of gas, I'm on the side of the road, I don't know what to do, blah, blah, blah, blah. I would be there in a heartbeat for him, you know? So I think that you developed this, this friendship and this connection with people that you see obviously. Absolutely. So. Or you're not doing it right.
Yeah, yeah, very true. Or they're total asshole we. Don't we still develop some sort of connection? It'll just be those are the ones you become a sadist and make them eat their pubes. Yeah, our Pew beaters. The ones that you remember though, I mean, he might not have been connected to in the way that we normally connect with ourselves, but he definitely is remembered. Man, he has reached out to me, I told you, and he's all about. Yeah. He's losing weight, he's doing really well, so. Yes.
Which means we resonated with them. Huge, huge yes. So here's the next question. What are the most common BDSM activities or fetishes? So common in general or common for us? I think in general. Well, I don't know. Well, it says spanking, blindfolding, bondage or role-playing. So and then it says and how they differ from more advanced ones. So we've had some really like
big role plays. We had one, one time and you know, he came in and he was told us that when he was 30, he went to swim in his apartment pool at 2:00 in the morning. And we basically spanked him and did a role play with him the whole time. And it was almost like his face even went back 40 years. He was in that mindset. Yes, and after the session Liv looked at me and she's like, at first I didn't think you were playing with. At first I thought he wasn't playing.
I thought he just went senile and didn't know what was going on. I was like, wait, aren't we supposed to be doing this? But he was just got into character just as fast as you did. So I was like, OK. And that was so fun. That was fun to watch. Now I wouldn't be able to do those things. I'm not very talkative. I am not able to do. That is because you could hear my submissiveness in my voice. Oh, I didn't think about that. So I just don't talk. I speak with my actions.
Yeah, I get that. I understand that. I had a gentleman ask me the other day, he's like, I like verbal humiliation and degradation. And I said, well, I think I'm going to stay in the session because you'll be coming here for the first time. I said I'll be there anyway. I said, but I'll tell you nasty mean to you verbally the whole time. And he's like, oh OK, that works. So I told him I'm like, So what time do you want to come you little dried up faggot? And it's like, now that's what
I'm talking about. So anywho, so #4 is BDS in the same as abuse? And how is consent? Handled it can be it's teetered, you know, teeter into abuse real easy. It's all about communication, and consent isn't always communication. You can say, yeah, I want you to do this, but you're not actually sharing what you like. We don't like, you know, it's about communication. Yeah, and that's why we give
people safe words. You know, we had a gentleman not too long ago and you said, oh, do you know the safe words? But I've seen him before. But he told you no, he didn't know the safe words. And I was like, motherfucker, you making me look bad? We're like green. You're not going to be saying green because we're going to see you. And you might say, oh, I'm green, everything's good. He might not say that at all, or she might not say that at all. But then Yellow will stop and
assess. We'll slow down with the scene and handle it and then read everything stops and we're done. It's all over. And yeah, so I mean, I don't think we've ever gotten to a point where it's like we've never talked to them about everything. It's just something that we always do. But I'm like you, I think I've watched people in the lifestyle and I've seen it online and there's a lot of people that I
mean, even colder. And we were talking about that, you know, we, we did that interview together. And he was the first to say, you know, there's people that do abuse people. And some people consent to the abuse. Yeah. You know, so it's just how far are you willing to go? Yeah, that's true and. Making sure you choose the right Dom for you, because you know you could have a soft Dom when you're needing something a little bit hard and.
Just depends on who it is and I guess the connection you develop you know? You know, it's just like going to for your first day of school you're not going to be friends with. Everybody. No, you're not. Each person is not for you. Yeah. Each Dom isn't for you. You can try out different Doms and see how well they work for your personality and your preferences. You know, I did, I'm going to say I did a session with someone a few months back. It was just me late at night,
blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I said, so Are you ready to start your scene? And he's like, let's not call it that. And I'm like, OK, what do you want to call it? And he's like, just you and me doing our thing. Like, no, it's a scene, you little weirdo. No, he wasn't weird. He wanted to not think of it as being an actual profession. Yeah, and he didn't want to think about as being
role-playing or anything. A lot, you know, I noticed that was, I don't remember who asked that said that they just wanted it to be about me and and him. And I didn't understand that whenever we said it, he wanted it to move beyond professional. But like this is professional and I just couldn't wrap my head around it. But maybe you're talking about the same thing of, hey, we just want it to feel like we're doing this together. Yeah, we are.
It's not just a professional, it is a professional setting. But we are doing this together. I'm going through things just as much as you're going through things. Yes, the next question is how do I start exploring BDSM as a beginner? Inquiries about safe, safe entry points like communication with partners, trying light activities, or finding communities. Yeah, that's that's pretty much it, you know. I would also put in there research.
Yeah. A lot of research, a lot of reading to get to know what you're kind of stepping into versus just coming in and thinking, oh, it's just abuse or oh, it's just, you know, handcuffs, you know, like to really dig in and what it means. So research joining the community, I wouldn't even practice with your partner until you get enough research in your head for it and try out
something light. For instance, being blindfolded while having sex or being blindfolded while doing a task and being made to complete that task. Very light. You can't really hurt somebody. You can't hurt them mentally. You don't want to put anything mental strains on anybody just yet, just to things light. Yeah, we always try to go slow with people.
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, just like you said, blindfold during sex, you know, when you're with your partner at home doing things like that, you know, I think that's that's one of those things where people always ask me. There was a question between Tony and I. He'd asked me. He'd called me one day. First time I got to talk to him, you know, and he told me that his wife really wants to explore her spot, her bisexual side. Who's Tony?
Tony is the gentleman that lives in New York and we've had, you know, multiple e-mail exchanges over the last three years and I never got to talk with him. And so he called me one day and he, he's opened up a little bit to his wife, but you know, he told me that he doesn't really desire anymore to be bisexual, to explore with men or anything because he's very content in his
marriage. His thing is he wants to submit and be submissive and he can't be that with his wife because she's not a Dom. She's very much submissive and they just don't have that connection. So I told him, I said, well, I asked him what does she want to do as far as her, you know, personal exploration. And he said that she wants to explore her by side.
And I said, well, you know, if you want to do that for her, if she's not ready, as far as, you know, seeing a woman or anything like that, I said, put some really soft clothes on. Don't let her feel your body hair, but you know, restrain her gently with something very soft, you know, make it very erotic blindfolder so to do a lot of sensory play and like make it like, you know, rubbing her with feathers or you know, very just light. Stuff but soft.
Now it depends on their dynamic. But dressing up like a woman with her blindfolded, that could mess up a little bit too. You got to shoot. He'd have to, really. No, I wasn't saying dress up like a woman. We said put on something soft. Yeah, I, you know, I was thinking. I guess I was thinking of like a negligee for some reason. Yeah, Silky. No, I was just thinking like soft so he so that she couldn't feel his like body hair or anything masculine per SE.
Because I said, you know, wear gloves, you know, even if it was latex gloves or something, you know, just something that she didn't feel any roughness on his hands or anything like that. And use a lot of words. Yeah, imagine you touching her or. Imagine that, yes. A lot of mind fuckery. Yes, exactly. All right, Liv, next question, what is the difference between Dom sub, top and bottom? You know I struggle with this one. OK well I'll answer this for you
then. I'm a Dom in real life throughout my whole life, and you are switch because you sub in your your personal life, your sub. Now, if we have someone who comes to us and says, Hey, I want you to teach me how to be a dominant, We can't teach anybody because it's kind of ingrained that like you either have or you don't, but we can teach them to top someone.
OK, I see. You know, just like if you were a Dom in the dungeon, but somebody wants to come in and top you, you could be a bottom to someone. I see. Yeah, honestly, those those two words, top and bottom, we didn't use those those words 15 years ago in the lifestyle at all. Maybe they just wanted something else have as a middle ground. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's like, it's like something else.
It's kind of like years ago we didn't have, you know, we only had like nurses, RNS and LPNS then, well, who else would take care of patients? Well, then we had Cnas and it's like, oh, we're CNA certified nursing assistants. OK. Then after that, now they have Med techs. So it's like it's like they develop new roles to minimize little middle. People that they're needing, yeah. Exactly. Next question, what question should I ask a potential BDSM partner?
Oh, that's a good one. So it says focus on negotiation like limits, aftercare needs, preferences for dominance and submission, and past experiences. What do you think? Past experiences, making sure we journal to keep track of all the information. You know, things are easily forgotten when you read it back over, you're able to remember it better. OK, yes, I remember what you were like in that moment versus
not remembering everything. So I would say making sure we have a journal, definitely negotiation talk about their mindset at that particular time. That's a good one. Because you know what, sometimes you might be, maybe you're a pain slut. And then today you're just, you're really wanting something a little more softer. You can't just come in and have a hard scene, so you need to negotiate that as well, which I guess would be negotiation.
Yeah, yeah, that's very true. I like that, you know, we're, you know, because I've been in the dungeon with you and you always tell them after you ask them after you say where's your where's your mindset right now? How do you feel? Yeah, and just to make sure I didn't cross any lines. Oh, absolutely. No. Do I need to give you a little more aftercare and not, you know, like, did I hurt your mental state or did I hurt you physically? Where is the aftercare going to
be? All right, the next question why do people enjoy pain or humiliation in BDSM? Is that it's explanations often tie into psychological aspects like subspace or endorphins or emotional release. Debunking myths of pathology, so. I mean, I agree with that as well, but you know, everybody's reasons are different. So in some ways, some people want to be punished for things that they've done in the past.
Yeah. To be released from that or because, you know, whenever you have guilt that you've done something, it'll sit with you and you can't release it into the world. And this can help you release it. Yeah, which is, I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I know it's possible. But yes, it does help with the traumas, reliving things and being able to work through that in a safer environment. Yeah, I agree. I agree with that.
The next question is what is aftercare and why is it important? It says post play emotional and physical support is a reoccurring topic including cuddling, hydration, or just debriefing. I know that it was funny. I did this really heavy scene before you and I met and I went to give the guy a piece of chocolate and he's like I can't have chocolate, I'm allergic. I'm like, go with that and really bad aftercare, then fine, because he was like, he was blindfolded.
You know, we're ending the scene. So I was like, here's a piece of candy if you want some candy. I said, you know, just relax, you know, we'll take the blindfold off, blah, blah, blah. And I was just helping him because I thought maybe he had a little low sugar. That's what my rationalization was because a lot of times, you know, how people fast before they come in, before they were doing like pegging or anything like that. Yeah. Be a little light headed not
feeling this. Yes. Maybe we'll keep those little packs of crackers if they make those salads or keeping that in there. Yeah, that'd. Be a good idea. Here's you some cracker. Peanut do a fucking snack basket. Yeah, with crack packs of crackers and take your water or some crackers, put smells of peanut butter in it would be really good juice and peanut. Butter, definitely. Be really good for sugars and stuff. Yeah, that, that's a great idea. That's fine. I have to care, be happy.
Speaking of strap on, I got a new strap on just for me and my personal use. That's cool. I'm thinking about is your partner's beauty hole opening. But that's beautiful hands around those waist. But I got something better. I got an actual belt harness so I could put right there around his waist and I don't even have to hold on to him. Especially if it's a hot and sweaty scene, I could just hold on to the handles. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, like he's my little.
So you don't. It doesn't feel like you're grabbing a female, it feels like you're just grabbing the ring. Yeah, I like that. That's actually really good. Isn't that cool? Yeah. Yeah, $9, cheap and easy. But yeah, I got instead of an harness, I got actual strap on panties to wear because not only am I going to give it to you know who, but I told my Sissy I'm stretching that little cunt hole.
You're going to be humiliated, you're going to be degraded, and I'm going to stretch you open like you're my filthy little whore. Love that for you, so happy. All right, remind me. I have to show you a video of what I did. I don't want to see no booty holes. There's no booty holes. I promise it's I did a a demo of a toy. Oh. OK. It's funny. And the last question, Liv, any you would have eaten this up. Normally when I bring this up, you're like, oh, tell me. No, what?
I've been just kind of on the slump side. I'm firing. Bummer. I love you when you're pegging life. Thank you. I should have a bumper sticker. The peg life. The peg life better. Oh, beg for it, peg for it. Yes, there you go. Beg for the peg. That's a good one, I like that. One really good one. I like that one the best. All right, and the last question, how has media like 50 Shades of Grey influence perceptions of BDSM?
It says discussions about inaccuracies, increased interest and the need to separate fiction from real, safe practices. So we've often brought this up about 50 Shades of Grey and to me it's not realistic. I think it can be I. Can be, yeah. I don't think that. I think people kind of sit on a lot because they're like, oh, we don't have 50 Shades of grey because it gives the wrong
impression of the community. But, you know, if you really look at it through the community's eyes, not through vanilla's eyes, it's like, I could see that working. They should just gave a little more context, some for some things, explain things a little bit better. Yeah. That would be because. It gives the vanilla world a little bit of a misconception, but you know that's only because there's not any explanation.
People said they really loved the books and there was a book outside of the traditional 50 Shades and it was just about Christian being a submissive. Yes, that came out. Yeah, and I didn't, I didn't read those, but. Me neither, I watched the I watched the movie when it came out. Though, OK. Yeah. Because a lot of people, they raved about the books and they liked the movies.
And there was a lot of, you know, my friends that I was able to meet because of 50 Shades and that they actually got into the swinging lifestyle and the BDSM lifestyle. I just said, you know, during 50 Shades, there's a point where Christian Grey flips her over and he's got a spreader bar on her ankles. And all I could think was, Oh my God, he's going to break her ankles because you just can't flip. You know, she was kind of unknown at this point, like. What was going to be?
What was going to happen She. Couldn't move her body properly, but. Exactly. You know, that's, again, misperceptions of things. Yeah, but it's for a movie. We it's still a movie, still not real life. And you know, there's things about murder too. You know, Nothing's always correct. Yeah. Have you ever watched people give birth on movies? You're like, that is not how that fucking happens. Wow, You know what I mean? It's kind of the same thing. It's like they're just telling a story.
It doesn't have to be exactly the way it needs to be. That's true. They're probably another story that's going to come out. Maybe a? Little bit better. You know, except now and you see somebody like, wow, that look, really look like she gave birth. And sometimes you'll be like she sweat. Her makeup didn't even run down her face.
You and I have watched a lot of different types of genre but specific about BDSM and I was still more impressed with Nicole Kidman in Baby Girl. Yes, I think that had a really good take on BDSM. Yeah. It's all silent. It didn't explain anything. It was just actions that you could see. Yeah, like and it explained it through the actions. Yes. And it was it's, you know. I think you were able to relate to it too, because it was so relatable, because it was like, that's how I want to feel.
Talk about me specifically. Yes, you specifically. I didn't know we were talking about me as a who. No, because you've talked about being a sub before and you're like, I want to feel like a puppy. I want to feel like you know. Feel like I want to work for something and a dog, you know? Works for it, begs for it. You know he jumps on you when he gets excited. And I'm not saying I want to jump on them, but just the the idea of puppy play does it. I don't think puppy play as in
like furries. No. I'm not thinking that type of puppy play, but definitely if I was to look at how I would sub, I would say puppy because of how I want to be praised and treated. Yeah, you know, Bri often told me this, and this is before I always had one Chihuahua. I had one Chihuahua for 18 years and I could always picture this because she would wait by the window until I returned home and I would put Brie in a scene and leave her locked up in the dungeon for days, days.
And she would say to me, you know, I feel like your lost puppy waiting and just hoping because I don't know how long it's been, but just waiting for you to come back. And I've often read stories like that on the Mistress Mia's Dungeon podcast show. But that's, and that's what always resonated with me because you've said, yeah, I want to feel like a puppy in a sense, not the actual dog, but it's
their mindset. Yeah. So I just thought it was interesting and I loved and baby girl how we ordered her a milk here. They're at dinner. It's a dinner party. It's a work a work party. Everybody's drinking wine and champagne. At the end of the night. He orders her milk and her Co workers. Like, you're not going to drink that, are you? And she's like, yes. And she just starts gulping it down. Yeah, yeah.
Being a puppy in a sense for BDSM, you know, it's almost like whenever you learn a new trick or what the Dom wants you to learn, then you get treated with, you know, little. Treats. Be a dog treat or you get treated with good girl or things like that. These it's all puppy esque. Yeah, and I love the exchange when he's like, come here, just come here. And then he's going to give her that piece of candy, I mean. And he he told her to eat it out of his hand and then spit it
back out. Yeah, you can't have it completely. Yeah, that was so good. It was hot. It was so fucking hot, and it was like this nasty hotel, you know, and she's crawling on this nasty fucking floor. And it's like, oh, that's all I could think about because it was just hot. And I was thinking of myself being a Dom myself and making my sub do that. Yeah, I guess that's how you know if you're a Dom or sub. Which one do you resonate with? Exactly. Do you resonate with the guy or
the girl? But I liked that it wasn't about him. Yeah. And I still want to know what he got out of it. And I love the fact that he wasn't all that. He wasn't some hot, you know, I mean, he to me, yeah, I liked him because he kind of had that thug way about him. You know, wannabe. Yeah, like a wannabe thug, you know, he just had like, the rough look, like you could imagine him with, like, a tattoo under his clothes, body art, you know, and. Even through that rough
toughness, he still saw her. Yeah, he did. And. What she needed. Yeah. And I think he started getting frustrated with her at that one point in the hotel. And I don't remember what he said to her, but he was like, do you want to do this? Do you want to do that? Look, what are you doing? Because she kept like going back and forth on. It Yeah. It's like you got to make up your mind, yeah. Yeah, that was great. And she didn't want to
relinquish that control. Well, she was going to just try and sleep with him, but then he like, grabbed her wrist and be like, no, this is not what we're doing. Yeah. And then I, you just see her crave it more and more and more. Yeah. It makes her work for it more and more and more. Exactly. Exactly. Anywho, you know, I often get a lot of emails and I've gotten a lot of emails in the past month from Subs and it's pretty much all male Subs. I think I've had one or two
women writing. There's one hot woman and she's she's in Brooklyn, I think. But you know, she's Latin. You can, she's beautiful. But you know, she writes me. We talk periodically. She's very much a submissive and but I thought, oh, she's, she's hot. I would dominate her in a heartbeat. But then I think about all these sub males and then I'm like, gosh, it'd be so great to just have a, you know, farm a farm. Like an Ant farm, you just watch them through the glass.
Male slaves. Well, you know, I keep saying, you know I live. You just look at me like what the fuck? A farm. It makes me think of like Egypt when they built the pyramids. Yes, exactly that. Was not good for our history though. Hope you know Moses saved a bunch of people that way. Yes, yes, however you're wanting to. Restart Dark History. Well, you know, slaves still exist today in all parts of the world still in existence. However, I would want willing
participants to be my slaves. But. Joining of it is white, so I mean, there are blacks and Mexicans and every now and an Asian. Yeah, but I guess it's primarily white. So yeah, let's bring in this farm. Can't call us racist. We'll just beat them. Oh, too fun. All right, yeah, let's beat the fuck out of them. Who wants to be in line? And someone messaged us and left a review on the podcast. They want some fucked up Fridays. Like they want them. They want them bad.
So Kylie has graciously agreed that she is going to tribute herself to come in and going to dominate her and, you know, ridiculousness. I just watched an episode yesterday. Fucking hilarious. The guy and another guy, they were like, like brawling right there in the driveway by a car and they were kind of like pressed up against the car. Well finally the guy got him in a headlock and he was hitting him with a dildo and then hitting him with the dildo in the face.
He ends up flipping him over, pulling his pants down and they couldn't show it. But he started. Fucking him with the dildo in the driveway up against this. Car, my God. It was. Ridiculous, yes, but they? Couldn't show the penetration, they only showed it to the audience and I was like holy fuck balls. Wow. Yeah, I think it was an episode with Matt Rife on it. I fucking love Matt Rife. You do too. Yes, of course I. Do Oh my God, I didn't know. I didn't know if you like to do in stand.
Up I love how he does stand up. I love how he singles out disabled people in like the best way. Yes, and they love it yes, of course, because it's great notice just like everybody else, you know, and not for being oh, they're just like everybody else. No, they're fucking not. And that's what's great is he's literally, you know, I don't know, he just does things in such a great way. He does, he does. I I totally love it. He's got. To be really smart to be able to handle it all too.
Oh my God, yeah. Come back at things without it and sometimes he will be a little bit either racist or sexist or something, but he just does it so like gracefully that it just works. Yes, yeah, he's awesome. You know he's been doing stand ups since he was 14. I know that cool is on while in and out. Oh, OK. And he would not the cutest little kid on Wildin now. Oh my God, that's funny, I have to watch that. He was a little weirdo.
That is hilarious. He actually, there was actually one that was going around that he touched Zendaya's face during one of their, their, their, they're going back and forth, touched Zendaya's face to get her to spit out the water. And all of her teammates came out and said, no, don't touch. Nobody touches her. And no, it was, I don't know, it was just funny. That is funny. But yeah, he was not always cute. Yeah, well, he's hit his. He's hit his time. Though he's hit his peak, hasn't he?
Yeah. Well, I don't know. He's still peeking. He's still going up. You know, I love it that he's so transparent too. He went and he was talking about how we actually had kind of like a breast job done because he said yeah on one of his. He was talking about how he was always self-conscious about like his nipples and his areolas and he had all that redone. I think they were big and pointy. Like a girl nipple. Yeah, maybe I I don't, I don't think he was that. So he had.
About it. One flaw. Well. No, he doesn't have any more. He wouldn't have plastic surgery. He thought he had one flaw and couldn't hold that one. No, couldn't do it. He's like, no, I got to be par banged. It's great. All right, Liv, I think we've bored them enough with our silly antics. So until then, Liv. This has been the latest episode of. Will me, mistress?