Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Prime Video. Get ready, the new Prime Video original film, My Fault London, has everything, romance, action, and a whole lot of drama. Here's the setup. Noah's mother, Ella, falls in love with a super rich guy named...
William and suddenly they're packing up their lives in America and heading to London to move in with him when they arrive 18 year old Noah meets bad boy Nick and what begins as a mutual loathing of each other turns in to an undeniable attraction noah spends the summer figuring out her new life all while navigating a complicated relationship with nick as they fight to keep their attraction at bay but here's the twist noah doesn't know that while she's falling madly in love with nick
Her devastating past will catch up with her, forcing her to find a strength she didn't know she had. Oh, and the chemistry between the leads? Truly next level. I will be watching this. Thank you very much. So don't miss My Fault London streaming February. 13th on Prime Video. Mark the date February 13th only on Prime Video. What is up, daddy gang? It is your founding father, Alex Cooper with Call Her Daddy. It's so good. Wait, let me try. How good is that?
Oh, that's fucking insane. I've never had strawberry with tequila. Yeah. That's insane. Cheers. Cheers. Love you. Love you. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Daddy gang welcome back to another episode of call her daddy if you are listening to this while you are getting fucked by your ex-boyfriend jan one I am here to let you know that I am here with my best friend, Laren.
Hi, Daddy Gang. We are ringing in the new year together. We are currently in Utah. We are skiing. We're being little ski bunnies. I'm really proud because you and I have the same level of like... skiability you kind of like can't go skiing with someone i mean you can yeah like then you'll hate them yeah it sucks we're kind of on the same exact page we're like i want to do a blue i want to feel the wind in my hair i want to have a two
hour opre lunch absolutely but i don't want a black diamond it no no no but though matt kind of bullies us we like one yeah one to two a day one a quarter feels like we go to sleep we're like oh like we're a little sore yeah but matt's always like come on let's go black
diamond and i'm like i don't really want to be an adult on crutches in my older age i get like a little nervous nelly me too i used to be a daredevil now i'm like slow and steady wins a race so lauren and i are in utah and i would say that You and I have, first of all, happy new year, everyone. Like I hope you had the best new year's Eve. You want to set them off with an intention? Ooh, I'm not really one for intentions, but what I will say is this. I. really don't like New Year's Eve.
I really don't like New Year's Eve. Like I am someone from... I think like even high school, I always hated New Year's Eve parties. It always freaked me out. I was always terrified people would be drinking and driving. If I went to a party, I was terrified to get on the roads. I was also always feeling like. not happy if I was hungover in the morning and I just never.
Like, of course, I've had nice New Year's, but I feel like I'm really, really entering my get fucked up on a couple martinis at home and put my feet up in relax mode. It's about the company, not the plans. Lauren, a cheery old Santa over here. We have spent quite a few New Year's together. I feel like we've spent, I think you're the friend that I've spent the most New Year's with, right?
We have the one like iconic I'm thinking of. When is the last one that we spent together? Besides this one. I hope, I don't know what you're going to say, but I know what. The one at Matt's house. Yes. When we moved to Los Angeles. Yes. It was COVID. So classic. I was just third wheeling Matt and Alex and I was single. This was like the last time I was single. So this is about like.
three years ago and Matt comes in so proud and he's like Lauren I'm gonna set you up with someone and it's gonna be a fantastic night just tell them just get to the punchline so he doesn't really tell me anything this guy walks in He is a 45 year old divorcee who breeds wolves. And like the front end is fine. Like 45 divorce. If anything, we're kind of like loving that for you. I'm down for that. But.
oh oh and he brought a half wolf half dog no he did there was a wolf that walked into matt's home and we all kind of did i'm not i wonder if i have a fucking video you do you do it's like We're not exaggerating. This thing was like massive times the size of Henry. And this is the first time that Matt tried to set single Lauren up. And I remember Lauren's like eating her buffalo chicken dip. And she turns to me and she was like, we need to.
a conversation after this and i was like no i'm so sorry she goes no no no It's Matt. What does Matt think of me that I should be marrying or even fucking, even dating a wolf man? It was like pretty fucking bad. Have you ever had success setting someone up? Okay, I feel like I've set a lot of my friends up.
for good like fucks I don't know if any of my friends are currently dating like I feel like in high school and college I was always setting people up but I in my adult life I feel like there's no one that they're gonna call you up during the wedding and be like Alex Cooper is the reason
Then we're married. No, because I also think like it's so hard that like I don't live in the same city as a lot of my friends. So I'm like networking. I literally told you move back to L.A., bitch. I have so many fucking suitors for you. And. Okay. Okay. I will give you credit. Like you have been coming through for me and you have been wing woman me wing.
womaning yeah me very very hard lately thank you uh you know what i'm thinking of oh the literally the fact that you were in between a billionaire and like a hot man from miami and you ditched them i forgot about that one okay tell that story okay so
First of all, Daddy Gang, I saw a couple comments of like, wait, Lauren is single. Yes, Lauren is single now. She's entering the new year, a single woman. Daddy Gang, do you want to wing woman me? DM Alex, send them the resume, a profile. You're not at a shortage of men.
Lauren like here's the thing Lauren was like you know upset about her breakup and then she finally decided like it's time to get after it and I remember you we were in New York City like a few weeks ago yes but even prior to New York City you have been having
Even if it's not success, like I'm so proud of you. You have been really putting yourself out there. I've been getting out there. You're on the apps. You're going on dates. You told me you went on a coffee date. You went on a cocktail date. You went on a dinner date that lasted like two and a half hours. Yeah, we'll get there. You have a man that gave you all these plants. That's a lot.
Long story. You have a man that gave you a foot massage. Like you're making headway, Lauren, in your single life. But we were in New York City a couple of weeks ago. And I think I posted this on my TikTok, but Hallie was... hooking up with this billionaire and Hallie was worried that the billionaire was just too nice for her a classic I honestly can't relate I like nice guys yeah no Lauren likes people to treat her well and so Hallie was like sweetie you just take him so it is the end of the
night we are all at this bar and Lauren is in between the billionaire and now if anything it looked like you were favoring the man that wasn't even the fucking billionaire this man from Miami who was another man that you like came over and you were like oh like this is my friend Lauren and like You were smoothing me for me.
I love you say smoozing. It's schmoozing. It's the best fucking statement ever. So Lauren is like hanging out schmoozing with all these people. Everyone leaves the bar because I'm like, I'm going home to my husband. Everyone's going to bed. It's like 1.30 a.m. So like all the girls we're with leave. So I'm just at the.
bar and it's me and a table full of guys and I'm like this is a dream like Alex came through she put her reputation on the line she didn't ruin it and I literally woke up in the morning and I FaceTime Lauren and I'm like which one did you go home with? And what do you say to me, Lauren?
None of them. Because at like 2 a.m., I'm like working it, laying my moves still. And my friends call me and they're like, Lauren, like we have your location. Like we see you're like at a bar like around the corner, like come meet us. And like. I don't see my friends who live in New York City that often. So I get so excited and I'm like, oh, my God, OK. And I just tell the guys like, all right, bye, guys. And then I leave and I wake up and I'm like.
Like in your drunken state, you cock block yourself and you chose your friends over men, which says a lot about you, which I love you because you are such a girl's girl. However, like you got to choose yourself in those moments. She was putting in hours of work with these people. Anyways.
So she ends up not hooking up with anyone. I strike out. And we're like, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. So now all of a sudden we're kind of on this hunt and I don't know if anyone is doing this, but first of all, if you're in a fucking relationship and your friend is single, you're.
mindset every coffee shop you work walk into every single work event you walk into every single room you walk into is an opportunity to find a man for your friend okay I have you like dialed up differently like now I've never heard you comment on
as much as you are now you're like oh my god Lauren like did you see him like Lauren like that guy's like look at that guy speaking of let us tell you the story of what recently just happened we get on the plane okay we're leaving New York City we are like ravenous for a man for you okay I am like I will find her dick so we sit down you guys and Lauren and I are sitting next to each other and I see on the airplane on the airplane and I see this guy that is in the last row in first class
And he has this like Michigan t-shirt on. He has kind of hair like Matt's. It's like rustled and hot. And it's like. Oh, like, I'm like, this man is a vision. Okay. I turned to Lauren, I grabbed her wrist and I say, Lauren, back, right corner. prospect she fakes gets up she looks up in the her bin cabin she's rustling through her fucking luggage she sits down she goes he's the most gorgeous man I've ever fucking laid eyes on how do we fucking get me in and around that asshole
Now, we recruit the flight attendant. Flight attendant comes over to hand us our Bloody Marys. We said, get in here. He was a gay ally. OK, he turned to me. He said, bitches, what do you need from me? I said, you need to go back, right, left corner. Back, right, left. hello you need to go back corner right side and you need to find out if this man has a ring on is he fair game for me he goes he walks back the flight attendant such a fucking homie goes girls
There's no motherfucking ring. Lauren and I are like, boom, boom, boom. Okay, we're in. Now, here's the thing about being on a flight and seeing a hot guy. That is to me like one of the coolest fucking opportunities of how you could meet your potential husband. You started planning the speech you were about to give at my wedding. If like you orchestrated this and like.
We thought I was going to marry this guy. Because we started to get so excited because we're like, this is so cool. And I want to validate every single person. I hate when people preface it being like, oh, how did you guys meet? And they're like, we met on a dating app. Or we met on Instagram. I know, so embarrassing. It is not.
embarrassing that is literally the most common way to meet people now so first of all it's not embarrassing however there is something obviously in you that's like how fucking cool to meet someone out in the wild like That's fucking ideal and cool. Yeah. So we're starting to picture this and I'm like.
you meet your husband on a plane you guys hit it off you then all of a sudden get like this is this is magic yeah so we start strategizing daddy gang and I suggest you guys do this if you see a fucking hot person on a plane I get it's also easier when you have a friend with you if you're solo it's
a little intimidating lauren and i decide you need to write your name and your number on a napkin and we're gonna have the flight attendant bring the napkin over to the guy and my seat number so he like could like know it was Who we look for. We decided we were going to do it like with an hour left in the flight because this flight was like five fucking hours. And then we start stressing out because you were like Alex.
i don't look the part i like we were hung over as because we were out until like 3 a.m the night before i'm in like a sweatsuit i have not an ounce of makeup on we were pretty puffy i literally was like do we ask for ice and like i like ice roll my face with like ice from like the plane we look fucked up and so we just kept harold the dog going and lauren goes one minute gets up into the cabin gets her makeup down i need to post the fucking videos that we took i'm like giving myself
like a full beat like on the plane so Lauren starts contouring and she's contouring it up and she's looking so gorgeous and I'm looking at the highlight it wasn't my best but it was better no no you looked gorgeous okay and she's highlighting and all of a sudden on the loudspeaker
We hear. Thank God we didn't take like a sleeping pill. Over the loudspeaker, we hear. Everybody, we're going to have to deboard the plane. At first, I thought this was a disaster because I'm like, my husband's getting away. But then. And then I realized, hold on, Lauren.
We're deboarding to get back on board. Okay. This man is in the Delta one pods, which means he will be going to the Delta one lounge. We're going to go to the lounge. So we'll be able to almost like congregate with him and we can follow him. So. Everyone gets up. We get all of our stuff. Lauren's finishing her lip liner and we beeline it to try to stay as close as humanly possible to this man as everyone is deboarding the plane. We have a tail on him.
We got off the plane and he stopped at the desk to ask the agents if he goes back to the lounge, will they be able to give updates to the lounge? And something just came over me where I was like, And now seeing this man and his height, this man was like pushing 6'3", 6'4". He had some nice joggers on, some athletic sneakers. A little athletic top. Maybe he was like an athlete in college. He was giving athletes.
dick I was in it for Lauren so I shoved my way forward without even like thinking what I was gonna do And I put my body right up behind him. So when he turns around from the desk talking to the woman at the kiosk, I will be right. dead center there almost to the point where he makes physical contact with me he turns around and almost bumps into me and I go oh hey what did what did they say and he looks at me and he goes oh if you're in
And no, this was when we knew he eyed us because he was like, oh, us, if you're in Delta lounge, we can all go back to the lounge. And I was like, oh, really? They said that. And he goes, yes, we can go. I said, amazing. Lauren then just wanting to make any contact comes in. She goes. sorry what did they say I'm like bitch you're standing right next to me you just heard what he fucking said but she wanted to make contact with him she's like I wanted him to hear my voice feel my presence
He said the same thing to Lauren. We go, okay, great. He starts walking to the lounge. Fast. He's walking quick. He was beelining it, which we didn't know why, but eventually we learned why.
He's beelining it to the lounge, almost like running to the lounge. We're on like a light jog following him. The lounge is big, so we can't let him get too much distance because we can't let him go to a corner of the lounge and we lose him. The lounge is bigger than the fucking airport. At JFK, Delta One Lounge, Jesus.
Christ that thing is a fucking giant giant metropolis metropolis so we are running and then as we're running I'm like Lauren we look so creepy if he turns around and sees us running like why are we running so we tried to be very covert very undercover we get to the lounge we get to the lounge and there's a man at the front and he starts speaking to the man at the front of the lounge so we immediately stop with him again and I don't know if you guys have ever had this but
Whenever there is a flight that has been delayed or something going on on an airline, you start to bond with the people around you, right? You're in it together. You become so cozy, comfortable. It's almost sad when you leave after the flight.
Because you were in this battle together. That's what we were trying to push on this man. Like, I want this man to feel like we are his literal friends by the end of this. And he hopefully wants to fuck Warren. If he needs a shoulder to cry on. We're here. So he turns to the guy.
And he's like, we're good to go. You guys will give us updates. And the person at the front of the lounge was like, yes, you're good. He goes, great. I got a rush. Do you know where the TVs are? I have to watch the football game. So naturally, I'm standing there. Not a clue in the world what football is. game is on.
I'm like, Taylor Swift, Patrick Mahomes? He's like, I got to watch the game. Where's the TV? And I'm like, we're trying to watch the game too, actually. We're like, we. Yeah, where is the game on? And he literally goes, oh, you guys want to go? Yeah, where's the TV? I'm like, yeah, I really need to see this. game um what quarter is are there quarters yeah what quarter are we in and so they like point us to the tv
This man beelines it to the TV. We start making our way to the TV as well. He places himself down. We look at each other where we go. We're being so fucking creepy. We need to reel it back. We now know where this man is sitting. Let's. go at least to the bar you guys this is where the story takes a turn for the motherfucking worst okay i would say an hour goes by and we're like building it up in our heads more and more like i'm like i'm gonna completely fall in love we're like he went
to michigan he's smart he's attractive he likes football oh my god you're in a fantasy league yourself lauren we thought maybe he'd be coming on like our new year's trip with us like we thought it was gonna be sparks flying every 30 minutes we had to go check in with the gate person And he kept going over and Lauren would walk over with him. She comes back over. She goes, hey.
It's getting a little more flirty. Every time I go back over, it's progressing. We were making bets on when the flight would leave. We're making progress. I'm like, you're literally getting fingered in the bathroom tonight. Like you are actually entering the Mile High Club and I will be cheering.
you on all of a sudden our friend we run into at the airport shout out Aubrey Aubrey walks into the airport and we're like Aubrey what are you doing here I've got a flight at 11 o'clock at night Aubrey we found my husband Lauren's husband she goes where is he I want to get a glimpse of him because I say this is one of the most gorgeous men you've ever seen in your life okay we go he's got a Texas hat on a Michigan shirt on
Go find him. He's in the back corner. Yep. She giddily saunters off and all of a sudden she comes back and the face of happiness and excitement that she left with, she returns looking like. she just saw a dead body and I'm like what what's what's Aubrey what's wrong Lauren's like wait did you did you see him and Aubrey goes I have really really really upsetting news for you both and we're both like what do you want to say it or should i say it she goes girls lauren i'm so sorry but he's gay
No, in this moment. We were like, no, no, no, no way. No way. Like you have a great gaydar or something. I was like, this was full fucking flirting. I think. but maybe I was flirting no I was laying my moves we're making contact we're making bets or was it just like him being a nice person because you wanted information on the flight I don't know maybe we're also like dick drunk where we're just like wanting to find you anything
that we're literally we said what's the proof we needed proof so we said aubrey how do you know he's gay sweetie he's watching fucking football over there like he's got a texas hat and a michigan sweatshirt that doesn't scream gay to me like come on like he's like hitting yeah come on She goes, girls, I stood behind him as he was watching the game and he was.
scrolling and scrolling and scrolling naked men on Instagram and zooming in to their pectoral muscles and their V lines. And Lauren and I are dead silent, you guys. And we go, well, maybe, maybe he's a cat. Casting agent. Maybe he's a talent scout. Maybe he's a talent model scout. Like we don't know. And Aubrey looks at us like, you dumb fucks. You dumb fucks. Shut the fuck up. And we're literally like, there's no fucking way.
But everything that had like been built up into this moment, you guys, we couldn't accept that he was gay. So we sent you in. So I sent myself in and I'm like, I need to see it for my own fucking eyes. Like I couldn't, I at that point literally thought Aubrey was fucking with us. So I go to find him and I can't find him. And I'm like, fuck it. I need to go pee. Let's go pee.
I walked to the bathroom. He had changed locations and you guys, I see it for myself. I walk over and this man is still scrolling, scrolling, gorgeous men, hot, sexy, chiseled. They look so fucking hot. But they're men. You know what I mean? And Lauren has a vagina. And it just wasn't going to work. So I come back to Lauren. I go, yeah, he's gay. Lauren's like.
I put on makeup for nothing. So then Lauren, all of a sudden, guys, we're sitting at the bar. I'm to her right. There's a man to her left. Lauren literally goes, hey. Hey. Every fucking man. Oh, but then you know what? Aubrey leans in. Lauren, he's drinking a pink martini. He was also gay. But then Lauren was like, fuck, fuck. What the fuck? My gator. And then there was another man that came over that like there was a there was a lot going on and we got a little.
We were a little upset for you. I didn't feel confident in my. We didn't feel confident whatsoever, but we had a lot of fun doing it. And this is what I will say. It was so fun partaking in, although it was a fucking disaster. First advice to anyone in a relationship or married or engaged, whatever the fuck, like be a fucking homie to your girlfriends and.
Put your neck out for them and put yourself physically in moments where you are stopping men in their tracks for your fucking friend. Because what's so fucking great about I'm realizing with the wing woman situation is like. It makes you look like the chill, mysterious one. If I'm the fucking annoying freak being like, hey, what time do they say we can go to the lounge? And then you're like.
Sorry, what did you say? It's such a good layup. Be the fucking wing woman that your friend deserves. And for you, Lauren, you got to keep on the fucking horse, bitch. You're fucking cruising. You've been a wing woman for me like many, many times before. You haven't been single that long in our life. No. You're more of a relationship girly. Yes. The last time that I was like single a while ago was for one month.
Oh, yeah, that was bad. Back in 2018. Back in the boondock days. Back in 2018, I was single for one month, and I said, Big Al, I want to get out there, and I want to. Where did we find this man? Where did we go? Catch. we found him at catch oh my god we went to catch that night literally hunting for dick we literally went to catch to find you a man and we got so intoxicated
We both brought him back home. I met him. You set me up with him. And I was going to go home with him. And you were like, well, like, I don't want to be alone. And you were living at Slim Shady's house. I was living at my ex-boyfriend's, well, at the time, boyfriend house. Yes. And he was out of town. Yep. And you say, just bring him back to Slim's house.
And just mind you, I was acting like it was a guest bedroom. His roommate was fully another player on the team and you guys fucked in his teammates bed. And at the time I thought that the boyfriend Slim Shady was cheating on me, which ends up he was. So I don't feel bad. But I. the moment like looking back you guys fucked on rob's bed and then come the morning i wake up and i'm like
I'm like so hungover and I'm so not into this and I go get in the bed with you and I'm like Alex like this guy needs to leave like I don't want to like talk to him because to be fair it was like 10 a.m. and he was like still lingering snoring so disgusting we We're like, what do we do? What do we do? What do we do? And I write him a note and I say, hey, so sorry. I had a great time, but I really need to die alone in peace. You got to go. And I went crept in.
dropped the note you stuck it under the door gave it a little knock and then ran out like the fact that this man is in our home basically and you're like leaving this man a note to be like please let yourself out Lauren is then comes back in bed and we lock the door We are in my ex-boyfriend's apartment. Who is an MLB player. There is memorabilia, signed autographs, team jerseys, like all over. So this like New York City, like.
20 year old boy frat boy is gonna like wake up and be like I'm in a penthouse of like an MLB player and the funniest thing is you um when you first started to call her daddy you like hinted at this story that like you brought someone back like for a friend to Slim Shady's um when he was out of town
And this guy found you like this guy heard the story and DM do a picture of the note. He kept the note, you guys, for four, three years later, three years later, this man DMs me a picture and he goes, one of the greatest. mornings yeah mornings of my life I wake up after having great sex and I walk around
And I just am literally realizing that I'm in a Mets pitcher's fucking apartment. But then I remember laying there with you and we're so hungover and I'm like, there's no way he's going to steal anything. Right, Lauren? But we were so far gone that we had been like, you left a note. We were being so fucking freaks. Yeah. And we just.
I can't talk to anyone. He just needs to leave. And then I remember we heard the front door slam and we walked around. I'm like, honestly, I don't give a fuck if you stole anything. I'll honestly take it with you. Everything was in check, but...
Slim Shandy was not happy. Oh, he was fucking livid. And I was like, yeah, but what pussy were you in this week? Okay. Lauren fucks in his bed. You were in a different girl. And I'm the one that just gets fucked. Everyone got fucked but Alex. So that was, yeah, I was a pretty good wing woman that night.
I take pride in being a good wing woman and I'm very, very excited for this new venture for you and I'm very happy that you're enjoying the single life because I think that you sometimes, understandably, when you're single, And a lot of your friends are in relationships. I feel like almost all your friends are in relationships, right? Like pretty much every friend is in a relationship engaged or married. I think that can be hard where you're like.
not looking forward to being single only because you're like fuck I don't have that many single friends and I feel like you are having a lot of fun with it and you're being really open to going and meeting a lot of different people. Yeah. I will say the one positive is being the only single one. Everyone's kind of excited to wing woman. everyone's like oh like let me like live vicariously through you a little bit oh i love that's a fun aspect and another thing i will say that
To daddy gang who's maybe like on the verge of like, hmm, I know I need to end a relationship or wanting to end something and being scared about starting over at 30. Yeah. Something I've realized is. dating at 30 because the last time I was single I was 26. dating at 30 is so so much different than dating at 26 like I feel like at least from my experience so far everyone is just like so like straightforward and like the games are like really really done and like it's not like am I gonna like
obviously like I'm not just like gonna like text people like so like there's some coyness to it of course but it's like not games and it's straightforward and everyone's just like yeah like I'm looking for someone and like I'm not fucking around which is like so nice it's refreshing it just it's easier
I feel like there's only a certain amount of years you can play the game until it actually gets boring. Now if someone's playing the game, I'm like, okay, well... it's not cool anymore right you're like i don't care so next at 26 if someone's playing the game i'd be like okay like maybe like i'm a little bit into this well again because when you're younger in your 20s like who the fuck wants to get married and settle down some people but not me at that point i was like i want to feel the thrill
I want to be getting my head bashed in the mattress. I want to be getting flipped upside down. And then I want to be getting ghosted the next day. I want to have my heart ripped out of my chest and I want to do it all over again. And then some. And then when you get a little older, you're kind of like. I literally don't have time. No, I have taxes. I have a life. I have a family. I have fucking trips. I have work. I have a bunch of fucking shit. And all my friends are finding their person like.
I want to be intentional about what I'm doing and where I'm spending my time. If I'm going to leave my house and put on makeup and go out on a Sunday or a Tuesday, Let's be straightforward and not waste each other's time here. Completely. Actually, though, I've run into two issues with my dating game that I would love your opinion on or your advice. Hit me. Okay. Issue number one, I cannot end a date.
under three hours I have had no date go under three hours the longest so far being a first date lasting eight hours wait sorry I was just swallowing did you just say you went on a date that lasted eight hours yeah Lauren What does that even mean? What time did you start the date? I think we went to dinner at 630. What time did you get home? 2 a.m.
No. No. You're disturbing me right now. Are you getting married? No. Did you ever, did you want to see the man again? I don't know. Wait. Only Lauren being like. I spent eight hours with a man and I don't even know if I want to see him again.
I thought you were about to tell me that you literally are in love with someone. You spent eight hours with a man. So my issue is. You can't end it. I can't end it because in my mind, I'm like, what if they're a little nervous right now? Or like, what if like the spark's about to hit? Like while I'm here, like I might as well just like.
give it like let it run its course a little bit and like see if something pivots i get what you're saying sometimes i do that with interviewing where i'll be talking to someone like the beginning is like light work you're like oh you're a little nervous let me throw you some softballs yeah but by the end once you're jiving you could ride off into the sunset okay wait hold on is this the plant man
No, I can't. Can we just quickly tell that story? Okay, okay. You're fucked up. You had a very long date. I go on a very long first date with this guy. Eight hours. and at we're drinking at a bar and um
I just moved and I'm telling him like he's like what'd you do earlier that day and I'm like oh I went plant shopping and like I got myself a new plant. Naturally. And he's like oh well like I'm moving tomorrow and like I don't know what to do with my plants like do you want to come and like get all of my plants? And you can have all of my plants. And I'm like, fantastic. Are you drunk? You're like, free plants?
Are you fucking kidding me? Yes. So then what happens though? So I go over and I end up leaving and I don't leave with the plants. But then the next day. And he gave you a foot massage. Yes. No, can I just tell that part? It's so good, Lauren. It's so good. This man's going to love this. You think? Lauren, he's going to love it. And it's not even like... offensive it's hilarious so what and tell me correct me if i'm wrong okay lauren says she's in this man's apartment
They're having a nightcap, a nightcap. You've been on seven dates at this point in one night. And Lauren sits down. And how does he ask for your foot? wait does he just take yeah he just grabs it he grabs her feet to which she's like this and lauren in her head was like Please, for the love of God. No, no, no. I hope he doesn't have a foot fetish. Please don't have a foot fetish. Please don't have a foot fetish. He takes off her sock. Takes off the other sock.
thank god i had a pedicure and he starts massaging her feet and what do you do in that moment like oh i guess you're fucked up so it's like yeah i was drunk at that point i was just like oh okay I think I was just in my head like please don't pop a toe in your mouth please don't pop a toe in your mouth honestly that is like
A dream. If a man's going to massage, I get it. On a first date, it's a little much. But a man that's willing to give acts of service. Guys, I've been out there. I've been having experiences. No, she's living. So then the next morning, you wake up because you don't sleep there. I leave. You don't hook up like more than a make out. No. You get home and then, and then, and then she wakes up in the morning and he shows up to your apartment with like 45 plans. Guys.
I have really nice plants now. Like I have so many plants. Like I don't know what to do with them. No, plants are expensive. Like good plants. Yes. And they're like, they came with pots. Oh my God. And like, I've never owned this many plants now. And like now, like I feel like I'm like.
A plant mom. So did he just leave Chicago? He's gone? Yeah. He doesn't live in Chicago anymore. Here's the thing. Diamonds, plants, it's all in the same realm, okay? If you can get something from a first date, you're winning. You got a foot massage.
He brought me cheese knives too. What? So he just gave you all the shit that he was getting rid of. Here's the thing. I'm really proud of you. I feel like you're having good experiences. Um, but you need, I agree. I think you are fast. Do you think you like, when should I like start cutting it? To be fair, I feel like back in the day. Three hours is fair? Three hours.
Is a long fucking time, Lauren. But here's the thing. I do think when you're single, there's also something to be said about, like, on a Wednesday night, on a Thursday night, if you didn't have plans with your girlfriends, like... yeah I guess you could be home like reading ACOTAR but like I finished it oh well then exactly so like what the fuck else are you doing we read our fucking series we were you're done binging our shows yeah but the point is is you I feel like
i feel like you are someone that like you like to hang out with people i think that's also the thing like i've been really fortunate like all the dates i've gone on like while there might not have been like enough chemistry to go on a second date like they're all like lovely people yeah and you're like getting to And myself. Period. Okay, Lauren. This is my advice to you. Number one, if you're going on a weekday date, do you do those often?
I never do Friday or Saturday. I'm a big Sunday date person. Okay. So I feel like if you're doing either a Sunday or you're doing a weekday thing, I think that...
Cause I was going to say go for drinks, but like make them fucking pay for a good dinner. Like get yourself a good steak and fill up. You know what I mean? So I think, cause I get it when people are like, just go for drinks. It's easier to get out of. Yeah. But I've been doing that, that I'm like having drinks for three hours and now I'm like, I'm really hungry.
exactly so I think I already know you and I was the same like go for the fucking dinner yeah I do think you can always say like I have an early morning tomorrow and I know that's not that fun but you're still gonna like have a drink and you're gonna hang I do think you just have to almost cut yourself though because what I also recognize is first dates are so fun but you don't want to blow your fucking load in the first date where like You almost are kind of like...
I don't really need anything more. We kind of talk about everything, like what else is there to do? Almost. I've had those dates where I'm like, that was so fun, but I almost don't need to like see this person again because I don't see a future with them. And I kind of know everything about them now. Like it's over. I think you want to still feel like.
You have more questions about someone. So I would say you just have to eat at the normal fucking pace. And by the third fucking course, Lauren, get the fucking check and go home. But you're going for nightcaps. That's where I need to cut it off. You need to cut it off. No nightclaps after dinner. No. Okay, what's the other problem you're going with? I keep thinking that everyone's trying to kiss me goodbye, and they're not.
And so like they're going for a goodbye hug and I kiss them and it's really fucking awkward. So you're the problem. Lauren's like, they're not trying to kiss me, but I feel like it. So I go in for it first. I think what you have that is actually so fucking fair. One was so bad. I literally ran away and got in the Uber. Wait, what happened? Like he we were like going for the hug and like I thought like he was like going to try to kiss me. So I go and I kiss him and it was just like.
And I literally, my Uber was there and I literally just like turn around and I just get in the Uber. I don't say anything. I just turn around. Lauren. you just speed away yeah yeah yeah okay no no this is what I think you need to do which I actually completely agree first dates when you're vibing with someone also like I like a first date makeout because I like to be like, maybe if the conversation was like average or mid.
the make out if it's so good it makes you be like maybe i'll go on a second date with you you know what i mean like that's an added point like are you sexually attracted to the person yeah so i'm all for a little make out on the first date but if you don't want to do the make out i think well i've been initiating all of these and they've been like what are you doing but lauren i think you need to when you go to hug them goodbye
You need to hug. I can't believe we're doing this. Hug. And then it's a pug. It's a... One, two, whatever the fuck. Hug. Grab their butt. And then grab the ass and kind of finger the dingleberries and kind of pinch his asshole hair. No. No. You hug and the minute you're done. with the hug you kind of really you you turn your head away from them and you kind of pull back you're probably kind of doing a linger I okay ready hug me
And then I make eye contact. Lauren, you're literally in my nostril air. You literally are. No, Lauren. Okay, wait, I have a solution. You have to go like this. You go like this and then you go like that. Have you ever hugged an uncle? Okay, wait. So this was really distressing me. And I was talking to my one guy friend in Chicago. I'm like, has this ever happened to you? Like, this is an epidemic over here for me. And he's like, Lauren, here's my rule that I live hard and fast by.
On the first date. if the if a kiss does not happen during the actual date he's like i never kiss goodbye oh because a goodbye kiss there's so much pressure and it's so forced so he was like now sit and he's like so like if you're like sitting we're doing a tutorial if you're like sitting and like talking he's like if your like knees are touching like you go in for the kiss during the date like then normal natural chemistry but he's like if it doesn't happen on the actual date
Never on the goodbye. OK, that's this is this is good confirmation. So here's the thing, though. I'm going to rebuttal a tiny bit. The goodbye, if it's the literal goodbye, when you are like, Uber's ready, I go. And you're like.
hands on the fucking taxi cab or uber you're like i guess i'm going now and he's like bye yeah get in the fucking car okay you're trying to like elongate to a four hour situation like just one more night cab i don't want to go home just yet But I think, for example, after dinner, Matt and I on our first date.
It was a back alley make out. How I knew it was going to be a back alley make out is there was a lot of sexual tension throughout the dinner. OK, this is my mistake. There's no sexual chemistry or no sexual tension. And then I try to plan a kiss. This is good. This is good info. You're just not reading the fucking room. I don't know what I'm doing. No, I think you're just having fun. I'm trying to give them a good time. No, and you're having fun.
And you're having fun. You're a sexual being. You're seeing if you can. Maybe I'm too like pent up. You're kind of like. You're kind of looking at them like legs open. This man is like, we literally fought at dinner and our views are completely different. We literally talked about like politics and like your job and like there was nothing sexual going on. Lauren? I'm not doing that. Don't worry. No, no, no. Listen, I think it's so fucking attractive.
when the woman makes the first move however you know we don't want you to get a reputation around chicago they're like yeah this fucking i need to clean up my act you got to get it together no have fucking fun but No, I think if it's at the end of the night, there's something really steamy and hot about this built.
To be fair, on my first date with Matt, he literally reached across the table at one point and held my hand. And he was like, can I kiss you yet? So we had been talking. I know that was like fucking hot. I literally was like, no. OK, so that's a really good tangible example. Yeah.
of tension and chemistry he's like touching me he's like hold my hand he was like can I kiss you yet I said no so I knew we were gonna kiss if this man is given it is a job interview through and through and he's trying to network baby and this is giving more
LinkedIn yeah I think you don't give them the don't plant one on don't plant one unless you're in the mood and you're horny that night you know what bring them fucking back rarely are men gonna be like no no no I don't want to see you and your vibrator tonight in your bed like all right like I think You got to decide what you want to do. I'm so excited that you're thriving and you're single. Honestly, you're going to find your guy.
Lauren brought a game. Okay. She's fun. I brought a game. Do you do this on your dates? Yeah. I played connect four for like an hour and a half on one of them. What? Lauren connect. four where the fuck did you find a connect four thing at a bar oh my god i thought you like brought them back to your apartment no okay wait that's cute yeah cute cute i love games okay okay so i have a game and it's
New Year's theme since today is New Year's Day. And it's stuff things that people normally do during the new year. Oh. And we, I'm going to name them. Okay. And then if you could see yourself doing it. In the new year, have a drink. Love. Go back to your natural hair color. Absolutely not. Oh, I'll drink. I'm kind of doing that right now. By choice or by? Or did someone fuck your hair off? I'm a little darker than I would like to be right now. Lauren has been crying.
No, we can't. We can't. Okay, we're both not going natural. No. Fuck that shit. When's the last time you had your natural hair color? Never. I have put in so much fucking work. No, actually, though. No one will ever know. When was the last time you had your natural hair color? High school? Not even? Not even. Eighth grade. When did you first dye your hair? Summer.
going into freshman year of high school and I will never fucking go back bitch and you will never see with my natural hair unless there's a gun to my fucking head and even when I'm fucking pregnant one day wigs up in this bitch okay next okay take a drink
If you would get a dog in the new year. Oh my God. Matt literally will kill me. I make jokes to Matt being like. I could see you getting a third. Do we want a third? And he's like, you are mentally unstable if you think we need a third. Matt's like, give me a fucking baby before another fucking dog. Fair.
I don't think we need another third dog. I would fucking love nothing more than a dog, but I live in an apartment building. I travel too much. No dog. No dog for me. No dog for right now. I just live off Bruce. Yes. You love Bruce. Take a drink if you would go on a solo trip in the new year. i will drink to that i'm too scared like i can't everything in my body
Our best friend, Kristen, goes on solo trips all the time. She just got back from an 11-day in Nicaragua. And I literally looked at her and I'm like, you are everything I want to be, Kristen, but there isn't a bone in my body that could get myself on a plane.
go somewhere and not think that there is a man gonna come through that door to kill and harm me like I can't go on a solo trip I'm too scared it's on my like little short bucket list that I have before I get in a relationship I think that would be a good experience for me
me like I kind of want to follow in Kristen's footsteps and do like a surfing retreat but the issue is the last time I went surfing I broke my foot yeah like you're gonna go maybe you'll go on a solo but like I'm gonna have someone trailing you yeah I'm gonna get you a security guard or something I'm
so it sucks being a fucking woman yeah like it fucking sucks that we have to think about that shit like i remember at one point i said to a guy at one point like i could never go on a solo trip and they were like why and i was like why do you think you're like i literally don't know And I'm like, oh, OK, that's the difference between men, man and woman. Continue. Have a drink.
if you would get a tattoo in the new year absolutely not i think if you see me getting a tattoo it's like a little bit of like a pink flag that i'm having a minty bee oh i think that's like a fucking blazing red flag lauren that's not pink you not like for anyone but like for me me personally no no if you're getting a tattoo i know
i gotta somehow find a way to contact your therapist no i think we're not tattoo girls no we've just i don't have a single tattoo you don't have a single tattoo i don't you would pass out because you can't do needles i literally before when i heard that i would just literally pass out okay but like into your head you had to get a tattoo like right now like what would you get this is why I know I should never get a tattoo is because like
Literally, if there was a gun to my head, I'm telling you, I have nothing. I have nothing I would want to permanently put on my body. I have nothing. Nothing. I've like lightly thought about it. And I'm like, like maybe like something to honor my dad, but like, I don't want to be the girl with the dead dad tattoo. I think you can just like look at pics and pray to him.
R.I.P. Papa. Love you, Rob. Yeah, no, I don't think we're tattoo girls. No. Okay. Love you, Papa. If only your dad knew. Love you, Papa. Have a drink if you would get Botox in the new year. Please. Multiple drinks. Fucking facelift coming soon, I hope. No, I'm just kidding. I've never gotten Botox, but I want to.
i've got enough for both of us and i'm gonna do when i visit you in la because i want to do like i don't want someone to like fuck me up like i think you can i've seen some eyebrows go a little skew oh i've had it trust me go back to my forbes conference i wanted to fucking end it all
I think that you should absolutely, when you feel ready, get Botox in your forehead. It literally makes your skin look so nice. Also, there is a trend right now and I am so interested. I know the certain celebrities that have done it. I've been zooming in, zooming in.
There is a trend right now of the lower facelift that everyone is getting. What is that? It's like you just, you're not old enough to get the full facelift. So all these celebrities are getting these lower facelifts that it just pulls it basically from. A little lower than like right where your nose kind of is ending. And they just pull.
everything up so whenever you see these people on the red carpet and it's like their jaw looks so fucking snatched one I've heard that they're getting these things injected to give them a nicer jawline it's like literally a fake implant thing of a filler or like an actual fake thing apparently oh and then on top of that they're snatching it with a facelift. So I'm not getting one, but like, when do we get facelifts at like 50, 60?
Oh, sooner. Sooner. Okay, so we'll go together. Matt will drop us off when we're like. Matt will take care of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll just still be third wheeling, you guys. No, it'll be perfect. We'll all get facelifts together. Matt's like, I don't want one. I'm like, you're getting one. Okay, so yes, Botox in the future, obviously.
okay have a drink in the new year if you would try ayahuasca absolutely not like i'm curious like i think it sounds really intense i don't want to shit my pants i already do it I don't want to shit and throw up. And you know me with drugs. Yeah. I'm not a drug girl. I think I could handle it. You could handle it. You and Kristen could do ayahuasca together. But it sounds like, what do you think?
Say you wouldn't shit your pants. What spiritual journey do you think you would go on in your ayahuasca journey? Oh my fucking God. Like... I know this is like lame to say, but like, I'm just not that type of person. Like if I have a problem, I literally just like, I address it head on quickly and I keep it moving. Like, I don't feel like I'm someone that's like.
the nature and the sand and I need to put my feet in the ground and get the sand to like, I don't know. I feel like I'm every week. Would you like talk to Nana maybe? No, I don't give a shit about my grandma. Like I love her, but I wouldn't be like Nana. Like I love that. No, I give a shit about her, but not enough.
That way I wouldn't be like Nana. Like my Nana died. I had a great life with her. She was awesome. I loved her. But like I don't need to talk to her. I guess I would like to know if she's like sitting in Mercury. We always wondered if she was like bad behaved that she never got straight up to heaven. Not mercury. Purgatory. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm not even drinking. No. I always wondered like is Nana. Did Nana make it out? Nana's definitely in heaven at this point.
she went through some trauma i have no interest in talking to my grandmother i mean it wouldn't be bad but like i just don't think i'd be like i need to go through drugs to do that you know what i mean so i i think for me no ayahuasca i don't think i need that what what do you who would you connect with your dad
Like not to be the dead dad girl, but like. I know. But would you want to? I don't know. Like do you want to like connect? Like that sounds like it could ruin my life. You're like, I kind of want to keep it where I kept it. Yeah. I feel like we're not. going on that journey i don't see ayahuasca in the next year for me but if you do come and sit down and talk to us about it i will i'll let you guys know perfect thanks um
Wait, do you talk to dead people in ayahuasca? No, I think in ayahuasca, you confront whatever demons you haven't confronted. And maybe that's having a conversation with a dead person who you feel you didn't have closure with. No, Nana's definitely not haunted. me but now that I think about it who is dead and haunting me I guess no one so I guess oh confront the demons like like a demon your inner demons do you have any inner demons that you want to talk to us about today Oh my God. You know.
happy new year everyone this is not the episode to talk about that no i've got some demons but like i don't want to face you want to keep them locked up today yeah pent that shit up okay lock it away demons are staying locked up for the year 2025 yeah we'll connect back maybe in 2026. Let that shit. That's the year of confronting demons. Love, love, love. Is that it? Yeah. Do you have a new year's resolution? I have no new year's resolutions. I will be honest. I have so many.
fucking goals that I am setting for myself with regard to work and career. And I feel like I've never felt more motivated. And excited for this year. I feel like there's been so many changes that are coming in a fabulous way. So I'm going to roll out a bunch of new stuff with SiriusXM that's going to give the Daddy Gang more content, which is very exciting. And I know I've been saying that for a while, guys, but it's coming. It's just...
Basically, it's starting in February, essentially. So I haven't been able to talk about it because you guys know I... I love a good little tease and I love a good little promotion that I love a good little drop to get your panties fucking wet. So I have a lot of things I'm excited to give to the daddy gang because they have been so supportive of.
Me and this show and I wouldn't be here without them. So I think 2025 is going to be the year of doing everything for the daddy gang and connecting with as many people as I humanly possibly can. And. That's literally why I'm coming out with this drink. Like when I think of the unwell lifestyle, I totally see people online being like, I don't want to be unwell in my 30s. And I'm like.
Me either. Me either at all. But unfortunately, life isn't fucking perfect. We're all fucking exhausted, whether it's from work or you're drinking or you're sober or you're... your life is fucked or you're exhausted from work or it's just like children children single dating kissing random men like lauren like we're all a little fucking unwell and i think This drink was just like another extension of what the daddy gang and I have built is this community. And now to be able to like.
physically hold something that can help people when they're feeling shitty I'm like that's pretty fucking cool and I never knew what the first thing that I would come out with would be um and now This feels so natural to me having been an athlete my whole life. Hydration has been in my life my whole life. But I also am not a fucking athlete anymore. And I sit on my fucking ass more than I work out. And I want something that doesn't make me feel like shit if I didn't hit the gym that day. Or...
You can have it in the gym. So it's available, guys, now in Target if you want to go buy it and try it. It's so yummy. Lauren, what did you say about it when you tried the cocktail version? I had many a cocktail versions at the launch party in New York. Those were just like a bartender making them. This, I just poured tequila and the strawberry.
And it blends so well. And Lauren goes, Alex, this is going to be the cocktail at my wedding. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to sponsor your wedding. No, I'm hydration sponsoring my wedding. I will stock you up. But no, I'm really excited. Yeah, I think 2025 is going to be a great year. How do you feel about 2025? I ended 2024. making a really, really hard decision to end my relationship that I'm really proud of. So I want to go into 2025 not settling.
And being really, really fucking intentional and not getting antsy, not getting impatient, not feeling like shit about myself and just taking my time and just. not settling that's my I love that for you that's my I love that for you so much I also think personal wise for 2025 like I feel like Matt and I are in such a good place and we always joke like we, you know, like we love working. We are so passionate about what we do, but I feel like we did a really good job in 2024.
Being so intentional about the time that we spent together and that had nothing to do with work. So I think I want to take into 2025 what we kind of like laid the groundwork of 2024. Like we can love working. We can be passionate. What really also matters to me is my relationship with my husband. And I think I want to continue to be so intentional about the moments where we are offline and quiet and go and have good sex at a resort and enjoy our time together.
Yeah, I'm really excited. I'm excited for two. So Lauren and I are about to go to a bar. Um, that's why Lauren was pre-gaming. I was like taking a break because my fucking throat was hurting, but now I'm going to start ramping it up. Let's have a little fucking tequila and unwell hydration. And I really hope daddy gang that you listen.
If you were someone that was at home by yourself on New Year's Eve, I have been there. I have cried in my bed and been like, this is the worst fucking New Year's Eve of my life. And a lot of times I feel like those nights are what leads you to the best fucking. year yet because there's nowhere to go but up and I know it sounds depressing but like I have fucking been there through the trenches sobbing laying in my fucking childhood bed being like I'm a loser
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing next. And it's only up from there. So if you're at a low right now, trust me when I say, bitch, this is your fucking year. Let's get it. If you were someone that had the best fucking time. I'm so happy for you that you have people around you that you're able to just enjoy your life with these people and keep investing in your friends. Don't center a man or whatever to your life. Like make sure you're.
giving all of the energy to all of your relationships I feel like that's another thing in 2025 like we've been so good about you've been so intentional I was even talking about you to like my Chicago friends and I was just like I really admire like You've been so intentional with your relationships this past year. Well, I love you. And Lauren and I are going to go eat some burgers and get a little tipsy whipsy. So we're at altitude, baby. Oh, yeah.
I love you all. This is about to be the best fucking year yet, bitches. I will see you fuckers next Wednesday. Goodbye.