REUNITED

So we're gonna do so Todd Okay, first of all, here's the intro. Todd is. I would say I always will reference as my favorite comedian in one of my top faves, because Todd is inventive, goes out on these crazy limbs. You know. Now I should say, I haven't seen your stand up in a while. It could have become really rote and mechanics. I saw the video, so that yeah, but like you know, always like super inventive and playful in a way that I think a lot

It's just it's it's it's it's reverence. It's so beautiful. And I've noticed, as we were talking about before we started on Instagram, but mostly TikTok they're doing versions of this. It's people that have something, they buy some shit and they have the gift of the gap and they know how to make it. If they have style, they make a beautiful it's come to actually do a better level now on info. On the infomercials, it was always shitty and shlocky behind them. Now people know how to make

You guys are gonna love these.

You don't.

I wear them to the beach. They're easy for a vacation. You just throw it in your bag. They look chic, but you could wear it to work out. You know. That's like I feel like, oh.

You don't. You don't waste any time, Chelsea. Right, let me tell you something. I heard a woman once on those shows and it was so bullshit. She goes, it was a belt. She goes, this isn't a belt that went through a just a machine. So she goes, she this was not a belt that went through a machine. This belt was on someone's lap, handmade, like she just wanted you to picture. I go, I don't think that's true.

What does that mean?

It means you hand No, it was like sitting on.

Their lap as they made Teason all back to that.

Like I'm sitting at home.

But no, we know it didn't. Yeah, made in a lap. It's like you that doesn't sound sanitary, sewing their pubes into it. Accidentally call her, what's up with you? I'm here with Todd Glass, comedy Genius. We're doing a little home shopping network kind of stuff. I have to say this on the subject of, like, you know, all the

You know, Chelsea Todd, you know I really try my hardest. I say, why do you feel like when podcasts came along, I did the same thing when everyone was poot pooing on them. Yeah, and I go, why can't you just and I don't know why I can't. But with that said, I know what you mean. But I think like any format, whether it's TV or whether it's movies or whether documentaries, there's always a lot of garbage. Like the reason people like stand up is not because well, with stand up

Saying TikTok mostly look at TikTok.

Mostly I'm on TikTok really.

And I cannot get into it. Why is everyone? So it's fascinating. It's like the one thing that I I just can't get a foothold that everyone loves.

And I see what you're talking about. Yeah, So it's not like I go, what do you talk? I know what you mean. Lately that does happen, But I feel like there's so much good, Like there's so much creative on every level. Funny a little edit, I saw an edit. Sometimes I'll see a little thirty second video, and I go, that's why I love TikTok. It made me jealous of how funny something can be. Yeah, and a little edit, just a little they put a little music to that.

Which I actually think you might be wrong.

Well, how can they watch all these hours show?

Oh the callers saying something, but wait, collar say something.

Go ahead, Hi guys, Hi big fancy. But I do agree on you know, I think it is geared toward people with short attention spans, me included.

Can't you have both?

No, well, how do all these let me let me say something. Okay, you've had your second year. I have to say this my kid. Okay, it's different when maybe when you're an adult and you're looking at TikTok and you're you've had a childhood where you played outside and you like allowed yourself to be bored ever and you watched whole movies and you benefited from a slower, less on screen lifestyle. But I do think that, like, for example, an.

Empty came along. My friend Dave Olson was told the same thing.

Yeah, well, MTV is all part of it. It's all like you know, you know, the whole idea of like I forget what it's called where technology is now growing at a speed that's so much faster than he used to. But yeah, it started with oh radio, and then TV killed radio. But it's all part of this whole process to where now the explosion of technology is faster and faster and faster and faster.

Technological singularity, also called the singularity, refers to a theoretical future event at which computer intelligence surpasses that of humans The term singularity comes from mathematics and refers to a point that isn't well defined and behaves unpredictably. Moore's law states that the number of components on a single chip doubles every two years at minimal cost. While not actual science, it was an observation and extrapolation that has held study since nineteen sixty five.

Soon, AI, we're not even going to understand anyway. I need to stop talking about AI on this podcast because it's too much. But but all I will say is like with young children, like I was looking at this comment section, ironically, but where all these teachers, like there was a parent like, listen, my kid needs screen time. They're gonna watch screen time. It's fine. I'm not gonna

If I don't know, go ahead, go ahead.

It's like, well, TikTok has the feature where you can like speed two times through. You just hold down the right part of the screen fast forwards through. Now certain videos of the door, like telling a story or something, it's not like automatically at two times speed. It's like people complain they're like putting on speed or whatever. It's just like right, people have no patience an.

I guess if it's because I you know, I really think about the words that come out of my mouth, because you watch a podcast later explain.

Myself, well, we can cut anything.

No, no, no no. By the way, I'm saying that, if I didn't say there's definitely validity to what the two of you were saying, then no one's going to listen to me, because I get that's there. I get that that's there, and I'm not even positive. I just hope

Yeah he was culture.

Well that's right. Well that that's the new thing that we've learned in the last I heard that ten years ago, but now I even know more about that. So maybe Elvis wasn't the best example. But you know what I mean, that's not what But maybe I'm saying this split the difference that we do need to acknowledge it. But like when people say it was a better before cell phones, I bet if you went back to look at your life before cell phone now, I mean cell phone with some control, some I don't have.

Literally, you're talking to an addict, like, well, maybe that don't have self control. And most people that I know struggle very hard with self control with social media, and that is because it is designed to be addictive. It is literally designed to keep you on it as long as it possibly can. It is not just it's not just happenstance that everyone you know is addicted to their phone.

The Social Dilemma focus is on how big social media companies manipulate users by using algorithms that encourage addiction to their platforms.

Not that I'm trying to take the wind out of your sales, Like listen, you like watching TikTok videos. That's all I said. All I said is I'm realizing that I'm seeing so much more ads now, whether it's in my email, whether it's an Instagram like Instagram didn't used to be ads. They get you hooked. It's like a drug dealer. They get you hooked on the pure experience. Then once you have it integrated into your life, then they start making it a hugely ad oriented experience.

Maybe I'm saying this and it'll be the shortest I've ever said it. Maybe the way to get the truth out of this is take someone from both ends that's very intelligent, like you know, somebody who's saying it is bad for us, and then someone that's more articulate than me. But but here's what I'm saying, there's someone out there that's more articulate than me because I hear what Todd's saying and let them to have a discussion. Then I sit there because I think I think it's not all bad.

Well, I think the problem with the whole self control theory is that I do think what is baked into it. It's like a casino. They don't want you to win anyway. I don't know, but this is so funny. I'm laughing that we're doing this and then we're about to do.

Yeah, well we're mocking at least, we're not really showing you anything.

We're yeah, high color. It's Chelsea Preddy. I'm here with comedy legend Todd Glass.

Hoorai, comedy legends in the house.

What's up? Yeah, not much. We're just talking about TikTok. Todd loves TikTok.

Dangerous?

Interesting word? Interesting word?

Do tell just addictive?

Dangerous? Yead? How old are you?

Twenty?

No?

Thirty three?

Wow?

Oh you sound like me when I give my age twenty No, tell me a second.

I'm not a wedding reception right now, and there's a bunch of young cats here. I forgot.

This is what an honor to be called from a wedding.

I'm gonna be honest. I went to the bathroom and I checked my Instagram real quick, and yeah, do you want to answer?

Boom?

Here you are? Now? You're are you actively number two?

Ingng?

No?

No, no, no, no, no, I'm all done with that. I stepped outside for a quick breather because we're in between cocktail hour and dinner.

Wow, what's what's some? The food is the food good so far.

I did just see a woman walk by with a big plate of chicken breasts. They're doing stations, which I'm kind of excited about.

That sounds so gross. A big plate of chicken breasts sounds I'm describing it, sounds like like dense and rubbery and just like flavorless. The big plate of chicken breasts. You're gonna love this big plate of chicken breasts.

They play sicker bread.

Getting.

We're gearing up here to do ads for stuff.

So yeah, okay, you can hang up on me. That's totally fine. I deserve it.

This has really taking a turn this podcast. I used to hang up on people angrily, and now everyone just selfie jacks.

Oh scared, We're just scared. That's all. That's all.

All right, Well listen, take care.

I give you bye bye. I think I give the most different wedding advice, maybe than anyone else. I try to clean it up and I go, there's a million things you could say about someone having a wedding, But what I try to say is if there's something you didn't like you went to other weddings, you would think, well, no one's going to repeat things they didn't like. They

I know it is rough being seated at a table with weird people, and you know, also separating people from their partners. Yeah, they do that.

You can just have tables all over the place enough for everybody. And I'm a big fan of no sit down dinner, start the party quick, do some of the standards. But when people come wherever, they're getting into that room where the night's gonna be dark more like a jazz club. I know people go, oh bright with but where do you have more fun? I do? I do, and I think most people do. I really do well Listen.

I have a thing about bright light, not in this case because I feel like this is showbiz, you know, but in my home I actually have such I have dimmers on every sing me too, We're back, me too, We're back in sync opinions. No, I have dimmers on every switch, to the point where now I'm like, actually there's no good light in my house, like I actually need some brighter light.

Honestly, I don't like the bright light. I do like a sunny day, of course, I'm not like you're yes, But the wedding thing is like yeah, like people, you know, like where people are dancing. I'm always like I told my niece and she listened. I said, people don't want to dance in the right light.

No, it's like fucking in bright light. Yeah, you know, other other than the very.

Young, that's not something I keep getting it.

You wear infrared glasses and pitch black that actually would be kind of hot. You just see the outline of like what is infrared? You just see where the heat is. You just see like a vague heat shape, and then you go toward it, grab its dick.

You can get where you need to get. Isn't that weird?

We sure can with those infrared glasses. Buy them now nine ninety nine for the first week, and then if you like it, you pay four hundred and fifty eight dollars.

Collar collar, go ahead.

Yeah, you guys are talking about things.

I do a lot.

I've got married last year, and I'm an architect. That it has a lot of lighting plans.

Now what do you think? What do you think about dim lighting and stuff like that? I mean, is it important? Is it overrated? If I hung up right now.

They wait on for all that time and they say one thing, you go, oh, well, we'll answer you off the air.

Off the air. We'll take your answer off the air. Click. I do not think.

Gym lighting is overrated. I think it's necessary. I think a mix of lighting is perfect.

Yeah.

The problem that happened, I got all these dimmer switches and now I need readers, so like I actually can't read in low light. It just happened. Little book light, yeah, little visor.

Yeah, they have those new menus. I saw that light up and they're like they're charged. There's no they're very they don't look like there's a you know, they're they're just very thin. And but I thought so because when you have a restaurant, you can't make the lighting in the restaurant for what happens three percent of the evening or five percent, and that's already now. It is important they can see the menu, don't.

Yeah, like pulling out your flashing on your iPhone. It's like alert alert, old fucking piece of shit.

Hey, I will never do that.

I can't see it.

I literally, well, if you do it, like the reason the problem with doing that is that I would have the I had a restaurant, I would definitely get those menus that are that are illuminated, but put pen lights out because the flashlight can be so bright.

Well, how about this, brail. If we all learn.

Brail for many I'm not, I might agree and.

Keep the light nice and glowy and braille menus. I like it does braill even really no one talks about brail anymore.

Feel people do.

Brail sounds eighties like I haven't even heard like for all the groups that are being more vocal, well these days like I don't feel like blind people are.

We don't know some of the things that cause them maybe trouble in life that could be fixed because they don't. I mean, I guess, I guess we have more more than we did in the fifties aware of it. Like you know, at the ATMs, they didn't ever have braille at the ATMs, and sounds that people can cross streets because they hear a tone. So I guess it isn't It is improving, but it's not in our world.

Maybe you know TikTok is rolling out brail.

They just I know you don't want to go back to talking about it. I can I say one thing.

I don't think whatever you say, I'm going to rule on it, good or bad.

Go I got my gavel up, Okay, I don't think. I'm not sitting here as I still stand by what I said. I'd like to see two people that I respect both and then they discuss it, because.

Hold on pause. That premise is so offensive because first of all, you're discrediting your own intelligence and mine. You're like, I'd like two other people to do well.

Isn't that how you come to a to a too? Like I think this is an interesting conversation. As long as you don't mind having it, we can.

I mean, I personally would love to get off it because I wanted to. I don't have the answers. I want to do our fun, silly stuff, and I don't really want to debate technology with you because I don't think it's our strong suit. I think we are silly and funny and should be doing our QVC styles selling bit.

I'll go, I'll go, I'll go on that trade. Okay, I feel like I should start, you know why? Okay, so much you scare me because you're so good. I'm not even like whatever, my my honest like truth is my word when I go, I'm not you're you're so good at it and it was so oh I love so let.

Me let me Okay, so we're going to just sell some items.

Okay, infomercial style, you know, Okay, I'll just call it. I'm a little nervous.

I know you had you have the look of someone about to take a quiz or a test.

Yeah, this is just I mean, we got these in yesterday. Oh yeah they are. Did you take a look at these?

I took a peek, and I have to say, my eyes started welling up. What's here? It's because this is something you just don't see often.

It's incredibly unique, this this is, and with Christmas coming up, this is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful piece. Now this is ceramic, but it has a lacquer on the outside of it that this won't you ever see something. And it's on someone's counter. They might have wiped it up, but it starts looking.

Dirty, right, greasy. You can see prints on it. This has a glassy, water like sheer finish. You can almost imagine this is a flower. So this is a ceramic flower. It looks as if it were left out and it rained, and that rain is hugging the flower on every corner of every petal.

And I don't know if the camera can get that, but it does have a glisten to it. It's a very it's a very pretty thing. And let me tell you something. This is not something that just went through a machine and the paint came out. Now, this set in somebody's hands, someone's lacking, and sat in somebody's laugh and they hand painted this. This is good for Christmas. You know. I bought fifteen of them because I don't know if you've ever been through this. But it is embarrassing.

Yeah the gift, No, I bought you bust out a box of fifteen of the identical item and handed to everyone at your party. Now that's a showstopper.

Well, I was hoping that it was only two people and I could get them in different corners of the room.

I never stand over there and you go stand over there.

Oh, these are just so pretty, and you know I can I bought, or you can bought. You can bot see these people don't mess up.

That's why I keep going.

You got it. I bought twenty five of them and I put them in a bowl and just so pretty they would picture.

Yeah, that would be And that's a fantastic idea fill a bowl with marbles, some crushed glass. You put these on top, almost like a bull bouquet. This is something that would be an absolute gorgeous centerpiece at any family gathering. You're gonna have conversations started. These are conversations starting pieces.

It represents love, happiness, giving, caring, thoughtfulness, and it's just And these colors, I don't know if the camera's getting that. These are not just colors that you could go into a los or a home.

People.

Oh, these are unique colors that are only available when you buy this.

Those are clearly hand mixed. These are something you have to have years as a potter, years as a seramacist under your belt, in which you are able to know how the chemistry of the glazes interact, and you're able to devise a plan for how many colors are we seeing on there? Upwards of five to six colors.

Five you're seeing that it's im muta turquoise. We have the beautiful the yellows.

In the marshmallow white.

The marshmallow white against the and the and the just this the glistening the cream is just so beautiful.

And these are starting at one O two eighty nine. So these are something that if I can just hold this to my camera, this is something starting at one O two eighty nine, this can be yours if you buy five, we'll give them to you for ninety a piece. So that's a huge and significant savings. You feel they're one oh five normally change. But if you buy five or ninety a piece, okay, so.

You're you're not gonna significant amount of money. It's a significant amount of money. Yeah, And I don't know if you can hear that when I put it down. This is not a chinzy little bit.

This has got something solid. It's lasting, it's durable.

Yes, careful, oh yes, uh, this is just beautiful. And you know this may be My niece went a little bit out of her way. She'd loved these so much. She was afraid to do it because she's fraid she might break it. But she attached a little wire to it. She made earrings that is, and they are they're big and they look like they're too big. Well, when she showed up the other night, I'm like, Katie, those are really pretty.

Talk about that conversation piece. That's genius.

Tie the hair up in it, right, and that you could do that by just hot gluing a piece of barette a barett to the back of it. And by the way, we'll talk about hot glue guns because we're selling one in the later hour. This hot glue gun for people that love.

Crafts, it is unbelieva.

It's different than you've ever experienced a hot glue gun before. But anyway, as I digress.

Comes out smooth as fro YOUO, you are gonna be your mind will be blown.

It's yea.

But these are very very pretty and if you put it in the window you can almost see the sun glisten off of it.

They're just and like I said, you almost don't want to touch it because you think, oh, I'm gonna get my fingers wet here. But it is just such a shiny, clear lacker. It's such a beautiful glaze that it actually has the impression of being a dewey, wet flower in the spring, so.

That it's so beautiful. Can I say one more thing about that? If you ever gone on too far, it's you know when a car has just been waxed and you just you just want to It's just something about this, incee you want to this for calming me. Sometimes I just have one and I just rub it like that and it calms me when I'm nervous, almost exactly because maybe I'm nervous because it's taxis and maybe I'm nervous. Like we talked about the holiday season coming up, you're gonna propose.

You have to go propose your father at the hospital, your.

Kids or your kids are coming to see you, or you're going to visit your parents, or.

The school called and you need to call them back. What's going on at the school. Hold your ceramic.

Flowers, rub it and just rub it, and as silly as it might sound, you find yourself going just after like a minute of rubbing this, you go and it's just a really very beautiful item in.

And it's a versatile piece, and that's it can give you great piece, it can be a centerpiece. It can soothe you psychologically, and it's an incredible collectible art piece.

I could go on and on, and there's only four hundred.

Of these in existence, and they're selling by the second. We have about one hundred and three left.

We have one hundred and three left, so get them quick, get them quick. These are beautiful, These are gorgeous. I'm glad they're gorgeous. Got get to this today because we haven't gotten to it before.

I have something over here. This is actually something that I've been waiting for okay, because I was. I visited the factory, I spoke with the manufacturers when this was being designed. This, as you can see, this is a cardboard box with gorgeous art on it. You see ornamentation there it says the favorite set Holiday collection. This is a spice and tea set. So you open it up. I'm going to carefully do that because I just I

And you know, I'm not a cooker. I don't cook, you don't cut, I don't cook. A doctor interesting, so you might think, what would I want to use this for? Just to have out? It still gives your kitchen. You know, you ever go over someone's house and it's just their

Out the box, the box is gorgeous.

It's a pretty box. And I used it to give I had gotten something for my mom. She just wanted to scarf and how she wanted to scarf. And it didn't come in a box, which happens.

All too all right, it's confusing.

And I bought and I put this in this and I put a little piece of tissue paper in there, and I put the scarf in it.

And you know it's funny because I was thinking, this is almost the perfect size box for two ties. So say you take all this spices out, you lay it along your tray that you might set out in your kitchen some sort of ceramic. We'll get to those later. You take the box, you put two silk ties in there, give it to Dad for Father's Day. Now you've gotten two gifts out of one one, and.

You know you got I got here a little earlier than you today, and I was messing around because I have so many of these? How many of these? I put six in there? Can I tell you something? With a nice piece of tissue paper, you put six of these in there, you open it up.

It's like giving someone a little secret garden. Remember that book, you know, My Secret Garden. So that's something that you know. It just it's thoughtful and it makes people go, Hey, a house is a home when you have the right little spice set to say I'm here, I'm here to stay. I'm not going anywhere.

This this is my home, and I'm going to show you something. I know people at home are going to relate with it, did you ever? I like the glass Coca Cola bottles. You know you can buy them. They're nice. Yeah, they put these stickers on them because they have to when they come through, I guess, and that it makes the bottle ugly. I go to peel them off. You can't peel them off.

Goodness.

Please, If you want them on there, you keep them on. But if you don't, you're going to just love this. I don't know if the camera right off. Look at this, look at that? Oh my god, when they myslf, it's the best part. A little bit of probably because I was sitting there touching your hand was warm. But just to say that I'm not a not being dishonest. Just they really do. They come so right.

Anyway, this anyway, the set is an absolute banger. As the kids say, I think it's something that will fly off the shelf. So if you are interested, you do want to spice up your life or spice up the life of someone else and say, hey, you know a house is not a home, and tell spices where the heart is.

And you know something that me and my we x used to do. We would make food maybe with no spices. Yeah, because maybe you want to try a little bit of it. Because certain foods can be whatever spice you add to it. It could be casion, it could be Italian.

It's really a tray of chicken breast.

Could be a big tray of juicy chicken breast, and we would so we take a little bit of this. We would like portion off our plate and go, let's try a little bit of this. What does that say? None of my glasses. Zatar zatar to the teeny bit. If you love it, you add it to more. Maybe try one of the paperika. How would this taste with peperika?

Right?

Anyway?

And if you have a big old tray of chicken breast. One thing I like to do is take I have this spice set, of course at home. I had to have it as soon as I saw it. I bought several for myself because I really do go through spice quickly. I love to cook. I'm quite a homemaker, so I got several sets for my home. And what I'll do is I'll get a big tray of chicken breast. I'll do one in Montreal steak chicken. I'll do one in special my favorite rice in Paia. I'll do one special

And you know we were talking about this before we started today, and we opened up your kitchen cabinet, and you said you would open up your kitchen cabinet, and I did the same thing to look because we know we were going to talk about these today. Yes, when you use papa rika, you would think will you buy it from the supermarket or Trader Joe's or the supermarket or wherever you buy it. You would think, well, what's

Pure spice, uncut paprika. You go to the supermarket, you're eating fifty percent arsenic. Did you know that.

It's And people don't know it.

They don't know what they're eating, and they're shaking it all over their chicken.

Breast, shaking it all over their big plate a check.

They are going shake crazy with these spices and they don't know. They're putting poison on their food.

Poison in your body. You're putting poison in your in your kid's body. And it's not on body. No. No, people don't go over anybody's house expecting, oh, I'm gonna, you know, be poisoned. No.

But these are food grades spices. These are double certified, they're organic as they come. They're absolutely beautiful in color. I'll pull up to here and you can see, like li, if you put it next to the blue of my eye, you can see that that that actually the special fish. And let's see the special rice and piet. You put that next to my eye, it's almost off.

It's shimmers.

They really pop because this is pure uncut earth.

And let me show you here how you can mix. We're talking about putting them in the glass. And by the way, the glass that we're drinking out of would just be fine. A lot of people think you have to get a fancy glass. No, no, no, no, you take a glass out of here. And if you take this you had these two, put this one in the middle. I don't know if the can get how that breaks

Yeah? The vials, I mean there's something about I actually had a crazy mishap with these. I brought them over to a friends and they thought, what are are you handing me drugs? I go, no, these are spice vials. And we laughed. But you know, they did make a big plate of chicken breast that night and they used every last spice and they they were gobsmacked.

They couldn't believe it. It's funny you bring that up, because I had a friend do the same thing. They didn't use them all in one mic, but two months later they had been using these. Yeah, they've been using them, and they go, todd they sent me a picture. They go, the spices are all gone.

Yeah.

They filled these up with different colors of water. Oh, just different colors of water.

Beautiful.

Oh it was so beautiful. And they put it in the window almost like could I say a ceramic glass, right, different colors they used like tope, and different greens and different blues and different yellows and different all different, a canary yellow.

Creative and something is like they actually you know, it's funny you say glass because I they actually look like glass. But they're not. So one thing, if you have a toddler, take the tops off. Those are a choking hazard. But you can go ahead and use these vials and let your toddler play with them in bathtime, fill them up with water, pour them out. So you've got the spice, but you've also got a toy. You've got a centerpiece. You've got a little signal to anyone who comes into

They are something.

We have about three of those left. If you're lucky, you'll get one of those. See what else we've got in here?

Oh, Chelsea, God, it's just is that.

Not taking you straight to Provence?

It's it's just, you know, I went on and on about these enough with these, these, I'm a big fan these. I bought fifteen of them.

Yeah, do you have another item or shall I bring one out here? I have plenty here?

Well what do you have?

Well? This I just thought this was darling. I've been waiting all day to get into this one. This is a little it's a jewelry box. It has incredible detail on here. I think you know it's got how many sides? How many sides does a rectangular three D shape have? One, two, three, four, five, six unique art pieces? I would consider each side a unique art piece of this. So it's a little jewelry box that opens up. Inside is also patterned, so you can have that open and it's not going to look

Say, you're almost you're showcasing almost every single color in the rainbow, right.

I mean, yes, you're seeing I'm gonna say red, I do sy orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. You're right, it's the absolute There's every color you could ever wish for on here, and there's just surprising details. Boom. You look at the back. Oh my goodness, there's a bright pink flower situated right in the center. Any art book will tell you that's what draws the eye in. Any art book's gonna tell you put something of interest in an opposite color right in the center of the piece

Times you turn the bottom to the something.

Yes, it's blank. They don't care.

They don't care.

They're trying to move product, they're trying to get it out the door. This is artisanal. This is someone who has taken decu page to the next level. The glue has no, you don't see the the paint brushstrokes in it. They've done the most beautiful work here to make it smooth, glassy, shiny and full of intrigue on every single panel.

Intrigue is the right word.

That's right.

Intrigue is absolutely the right word. And you know I bought Yeah. I feel like I always say this on this show, but I'll tell you. Did you ever go over someone's house and hey, good for them. They have maybe some nuts out, or they have some jolly ranchers.

Or m and ms a little bowl of candy, little bowl of candy to greet the guests.

And by the way, you should have a spoon out with that. Modern day people don't want to be digging into Oh right, I love that. I digress. But I found with these you can put it in there and you don't because it's it closes it right, And on the top I'll write, you know, and put it on a little piece of paper, you know, jelly beans, and then people can go over so there's no dust on them. I put for jelly beans, jolly ranchers. Have you had

An astronaut ice cream bar you could put in there.

You could put an astrona ice.

And just surprise a kid. That's something that as a kid, any kid loves an astronaut ice cream bar. You throw that in there at the little napkin and you say, oh, Billy, go check out what's in that box. An astronaut came by and left that in there. And they take a peek. Their eyes widened, they're full of wonder. They go, wow, is this what astronauts eat? You go, well, I guess we just opened ourselves up to an afternoon of fun.

Presentation, presentation, presentation, that's what you're talking about. You could go into the freezer and grab an astronaut bar. But you put it in here and you open up. It's almost like Christmas. Can I say when it's not and I say Christmas? Different people celebrate different things anytime.

Your birth certainly do.

But you you open it up and it's like, you know, it's like your birthday when it's not your birth Reese's Cups, little.

Cups absolutely line it. Pack the recess cups in there, put them in, you know, put some foil inside. If you don't want to take any risks with that internal patterning. Put a foil in there and then go call it and fill it with truffles, clam dip anything that you think.

There's no mercy with those people. But anyway a clam dip right you could put. You know, I went over someone's house the other night that had bought these because I told them they had They had all these little chips over. Oh my goodness, they had the clamp.

Is that darling? It was, and it's it's just unexpected. It's not something You're going to go over to your neighbor Jan's house and you're going to see that on her glass table in her entryway. No, this is something that is unique to you. You're not going to see it at your friend's house. You're not going to see it at your sister's house. Your grandma's not going to have that.

Wasn't your niece, nobody your nephew. And can be fun. It reminds you food can be fun.

Number when first growing up, food was more fun. And now it's all plastic packaging and it's all rip it open and throw it away. No, this is like the olden time. Your neighbor comes by, they bring you something they baked. It's into some sort of wooden vessel. It's a keeper. It's something that's for now and for forever.

And speaking forever and a little bit sad. But I'm going to bring it up that I bought one of these that I bought for was from my mom's ashes. Yeah, because I wanted to put it in something that wasn't cold in cavernous, right. I didn't want to put it in something that was made for ashes.

No, you want mom to be in there, and she is cozy, she's comfy, and she feels at peace. You're saying, hey, Mom, I'm not going to make death this macabre, dark, lonely cold thing. I'm not going to put you in steel or cap you in. I'm putting you in something that can open and close. If you want some air, great, you've got it.

Well, Chelsea, this is a beautiful and I'm glad that you share your excitement with this. There's only by the way, we're talking a big storm here. There's only four hundred of these.

Left, and that's a big number. But that is not a big number here. It's going down.

Our producers telling us that there's two hundred and forty left, so they're really flying off.

That is Yeah, that's moving fast, guys. And we've we've worked with a lot of different amazing products, but this one is something that you're not going to see again. No expense was spared.

Now. We saved the best for last. How much tell people you up? How much is this this? I know how much it is, but I couldn't you know.

And I just want to say, before I get into the brass tacks, I just do want to say, this is something that will turn into a family heirloom. This is something that not only will you be eating out of it or storing trinkets in it, or your mother, but but those in your family, those cherished friends, the family, the adopted children, They're going to be passing that down to them. They will have that and give it to

And you know, with people downsizing, people are going you see these tiny homes that people are living. You know, I bought a stepping stool. Okay, the other day I bought one because in my kitchen I don't really need that much hike. There's one cabin I use it as my stepping stool.

Well that's just enough.

To give me a few inches I can grab something off the top shelf in my kitchen cabinets. And it's sturdy. You would think a guy like me standing on this.

And you'd think it's too pretty to step on it's too and also with your mom's ashes, is that disrespect? You'd think all these things. But guess what it is durable, it's sturdy, and it is not getting scuffed by Todd stepping on it for a few times to get a bunch of crackers and things at the late night hours.

This is This is a must. This is I really When I saw this, as you know, because we saw it together, we grabbed it.

We both had a hand and then we said, okay, we'll order twenty each and there'll still be Okay, now we're down to fifty six left. If you want this, call in now, because this one is not gonna be here. I'm guessing this will be sold out in I'm gonna guess about seven and seven and a half minutes, so if you want this call in. You're not gonna regret it.

How many are there?

Brian? Do we have a count? At the moment, we're just putting these up. You're gonna see this up on your screen.

This steps on the screen.

Now, Okay, So there's seven hundred left, seven hundred stepstools. That's a drop in the bucket. Because how many people are short and how many people need to get high up? Why are our houses built like that where there's things high up and people can't get to them.

Why can't they make the floor lower, Why.

Aren't they building horizontally? I guess it's lot restrictions and lot limitations. So we gotta live that way. That's the world we live in.

So here we'll go.

Here's your solution, heavy enough that it's hard for me to hold it up right now. Do you hear that that's solid wood. There's no echo, there's no I'm banging my ring on it. You can hear that is fully solid. This is something that I don't say I told you this, but if there were to be an intruder in your house, there's lots of home invasions these days, you could whack that person on the head with this like a mallet.

And also let me point something out which I don't know if you noticed, but most things you see today they're built. They're cheap. Yeah, they're cheap. This talk about old school. If I could just grab it your.

My heart's exhausted. I thought you've never asked all of it.

That is very heavy. I mean, yeah, to do an old joke from the eighties that every shitty comedian did, which is what I won't do it? Yeah, right, probably no, No, why do I even say half of it? This is not These are riveted in there, that's right, that are in there, so you can see that this it's not glue.

It's not glue hammered.

And the glue by the way, some of the glues that they're finding that they used in the seventies, eighties, nineties, two thousand, twenty ten and twenty twenty and back. Uh you it's bad that you. It can make kids have a you know, basically sick aspergers, very very sick Asperger's because of the glue. And this is a heavy, heavy item and it's just you, you know a lot of times when you stand on something, you're like, oh am, I gonna fall.

This is a snow. This has no wobble and it's got trademark, no Wobble'll get the tree.

Take a look now.

This tree. You're counting lines here, I'm losing count Okay, this is at least fifty years old if I'm going by the rings on this thing. So that is quite a sacrifice from Mama tree for us to be able to get to what we need to get to.

This is a beautiful, beautiful item and I don't know if you can tell at home, but take a look at that. This is just so smooth and it's so nice.

You've certainly been tended to with great care. This is something that you're gonna want. You're gonna have it in your house. You're not even gonna be talking about it. You're gonna go get your neighbor a glass of lemonade. You step on that to grab the picture. Your neighbor cannot stop talking about that, steps to off. Where'd you get it? How much was it? Can I borrow it? And what about for a week? Could I borrow it for a year? No?

No, no, I had my same We're both living the same thing since I had mind my frienders, do you mind if I bring it? We're going up to our house in Lake Arrowhead for the weekend. Absolutely, can we bring it up? No? No, no, no, I don't. I bought one from my car right because when winners were coming, I couldn't get to the center of my windshoew wiper to get the ice off of it. Right now, I realized, oh,

Boom, solid solid is your hand.

Okay, it heard a little bit. I thing that's going to go away right away. This is a very pretty item. It's a mahogany. I think it's called a mahogany. A mahogany. What do you call it, Chelsea, You're the good one. Mahogany? Actually, I was trying to mix two woods, like the what do they say? It's a mahogany. It's a mahogany spruce. Oh, this is a mahogany spruce. Oh. Which are three of the strongest woods, and they are put together and it really makes it.

Yeah.

But but something about it, I mean the haf to it is incredible. Now this is going to sound absolutely crazy, but hear me out. If you have three pet mice, you could have you can have them dance one on each it's and each leg of this stool. You flip it upside down, you set gently set your mice on each of the three little legs of the stool, and

The shows like there used to be. Yeah, I think there were more shows back then. But this is yeah, this is definitely this is a show piece. This is a showpiece. You know. I often thought to take bowls, a wooden bowl, drill a hole through it, h screw it on to the top. You can always take the screw right out. Sure, screw it into the bottom, as you can see the holes in here from when I did it, and for for snacks.

So what then you it upside?

Oh?

You just have three?

I have three, And a lot of times you run out of counter space. I have that you have that happened with your house? Evert you run out?

Now that you say that. I remember one time it wasn't this stool. You had a full length stool and you had it flipped upside with the three bowls drilled into the legs, and I thought this is exquisite. I thought it was an art installation. I didn't know we were actually allowed to eat the chips and dip. That was it it?

No, this is a and you run out of counter space. Look as I say, homes are getting smaller and small are I got? So you run out of counter space. You take this on the counter space, you get over here. You can still have something next to it, right here, and right here in the center, little things around it.

And the instant party instant, and people like they don't want one dip, they want two dips and the chip. You know they're not looking for just one option.

No one wants a thick dip.

I need a thick dip and a thick chip, as long as it's thick. But here's the thing. So we've looked at the bottom side of this little stepping stool. But when we flip it right side up and let it do what nature intended. It's just a sturdy, classic step stool that looks it doesn't look obtrusive. It's not going to take over the room. It's just happy to be there. And it's something that you're going to step on again and again and again, and it's going to be with you till the day you die.

And then when you're dead, you go in that little box. And that little box just a beautiful item of it.

So we have three of those stools left. I can't believe you guys see as much in them as we do. I'm we're so happy that you're so thrilled to be purchasing these.

I'm gonna break character for one second. And also, what they do in those shows is they'll go, first of all, they're telling it, so the guy selling it, he'll go like, I forget his name, but he'll go with pants and he'll go, Okay, here's what I suggest. You get the blue, you get the black, you get the gray that you gotta do.

Yeah.

I'm like, well, yeah, I don't know if you three times the order, yeah, I don't know. If you're you're you're directly your suggestion is separate from that you're selling. You're right mad that like, look the other colors, but you get the blue, you get the black. And they take callers that I always think of because they always say exactly what you would think. They're like, you know, that's where I got that line. I bought ten of them. Could really anyway?

Yeah?

Yeah, what was what was that over there by the way? I saw that this afternoon when I came in. That's a beautiful, beautiful piece.

Well, I've been asking and asking our producers, I say, when is this coming in? Because I've been just waiting and I cannot believe so. And at this time we only have one. We're working on getting an entire bowl full. But we have this incredible piece of fruit straight out of this is pure stone. Does that not look like a real little piece of fruit to bite that? You might? Just it looks juicy. It actually has a little bit of shine on the crease that looks like juice is

Everybody laughs, and it's certainly a very beautiful I saw it when I walked in here.

Today, and I'm like, well, it caught your eye.

Caught my eye, and it's beautiful and it shimmers. I saw it having this just sort of this avant garde's sort of art installation. It's sitting out.

Your table, and I tell you, when we get the rest of these in, they're gonna fly out the sh shelves. I suggest you start with this, start here while this is available, and then you can supplement that when we get the rest of the fruits in from Italy. This is something that everyone in your family will cove it. You're saying, you know what, this one's for mom, this one's for me. You can have something for yourself that's okay. These guys are gonna be all over this. Kids think

God it's exhausting. It's so good.

And then your girlfriends are gonna come over and go, oh me too, you know I want in, and they're gonna order one for themselves. So be the first on your block to have this. That is something. It can even just sit just like that by itself, no bowl on the counter.

We said, simplicity. When you talk to the decorators today, they all tell me the same thing, simplicity.

Don't overdo it.

Don't overdo it. She showed me a picture of one of her client's house where she had one of this big, big table, a barn table. Right, this was sitting right in the middle.

Right on a doi lan.

Boy, did it look yeah, and look stunny?

Oh I didn't know. I didn't know it was prune season. I mean, I didn't know it was plum season. I didn't know it was peach season. Guess what it's not. This thing is around twenty four to seven, three hundred and sixty sixty five days a year.

It's amazing.

No clocking out, and that's something you can't get out of a real piece of fruit. I'm sorry, and I love fruit as much as the next girl. But this is something that is going to be around from time immemorial. Now talking about your dead mother in this box. You could be buried with these, and these are going to surround you. You could you could have a little beautiful casket, which we will get to later, and you fill it

Well, you said it.

Think talk about a homecoming. This is something that only this says. Hey, I have taste, I have class, and I have a little cash to throw around, and I don't need to flaunt it exactly.

I'm way to flaunt my beautiful way. You would say nick knack, And I sheepishly call it a nickknack because it's so glamorous.

Yeah, and you know, I hate to even just keep digging into this, but I love this little bruise here. It's built into the paint. These are painstakingly painted in Italy. This probably had up to eighteen people work on this. This has brushstrokes from little old Italian ladies who've been doing this in their families. Generation after generation. It's in their blood to know how to paint and carve.

And yeah, excuse me, but I get so excited and we say this a lot on the show. It's sat in somebody's lap, I know what. Home years say that a lot, and we say that because it did. This is not something that went through a mill. This sat in a little swish seeing the pictures in the old Italian grandmother's lap and just painting one at a time.

Just trapped up in her moist skirts. This has been carved, shaved and pounded in that little lap, just absolutely buffeted by the skirts of little old artisanal elderly one.

Chinka Tarow. Is that what it's called in Italy? Take in side of a mountain? What's it called?

Yeah, so they make those on the mountain side there and it's also it's like a bit of a liability because they could just roll straight down the mountain. So these these ladies are holding them tight in their laps, clamped down between their legs, carving through the night. And that's something they do. They actually do carve for a week straight and then they sleep three weeks like little bears.

So this is a it's a beautiful item, and it's a crafted item.

It's crafted, and it's crafted like we don't.

It's the heart, it's the soul, it's the craftsmanship. It's the beautiful, it's the glimmer, and it's the simplicity, as I say so many times with some of these beautiful items. That that's why when people get at home, we hear this all the time. I liked it when I saw it on the show, but I got it home.

It was better than I could.

Have, better than I could have ever.

And that's true. We have letters from viewers who will write us and go listen. I knew that it was an ad. I thought I'd take a chance. I'm blown away. This is something that I wake up, my eyes open, I reach for my marble fruit and I pick it up. I smell it, I lick it, I breathe it in. I look at it with my eyeballs, all around the circumference, the perimeter of it, and I go, my stars, I'm the luckiest person in the world. And they write us these letters and we go, my goodness, thank you. And

You're like family and I echo those sentiments so well, and they're always thanking us in the letters, which melts my heart. But I go, your letter did more for me, right than me turning you onto this product.

I would do this for no pay. I would too, That's how much I believe in these products. And I'm not blowing smoke up your dairy air. This is something that I want you to have. I would borderline buy one for a caller who calls in a lot because I want to share that with you. I want someone to experience that.

Wow, this is beautiful. A little handwriting on here is okay?

Describe for the listener because now we are doing a podcast as well as videos. So what are you holding? What do you feel about it? Who's gonna want it? What do we got here with item?

Well? I never thought I would be this excited about a match. But it's harder as the years go on and on. As we all know, it's harder to get a lighter. It's harder to get a match, right, no one has them anymore. They're vaping, they're vaping, they're they're they're taking edible ttok micro door sing they're on TikTok as. We know it can be very addicting, a nightmare. Yeah, there's no matches, there's no match.

Hey, technology has made everything obsolete and it's an absolute living nightmare. But TikTok aside, these matches are incredible. Okay, So what do they say on them? I can't, I can't. No one longer can see.

I love what it says on here spark. Yeah, now not only will spark the match, but I'll tell you what else it sparks. At a party, someone goes, do you have a match? Whatever? They need a match for, maybe just to light a candle. Maybe it is somebody that still smokes cigarettes, or maybe they taking something else.

I and you know, it's funny you say that, because I always carry this in my pocket. I bought one last week when they first came in. I carry it in my pocket. I've gone to four parties since then, and I bring it out and I go, do you have a candle? You want to light the guests are delighted. I myself have not seen a wooden matchstick with a black head. I have seen the redhead, that's the more

It's almost could be a black where I told a deep oh, I didn't even see that.

So that's built right into the glass.

And can I say it's almost a black Some people would say it's almost a collar that excites me. A dark dark dark navy blue. Right, if you take a look at that, Wow, dark dark navy blue.

That's something that special. And it's just incredible to think, here I have this vessel that has everything I need all in one, because how many things are separate.

Now, go get the go get the striking strip. Left it in the car. Where's that cork? Go get the cork. The matches are who knows where one's in the junk jawer ones in it all together. You got the glass, you got the cork, you have the matches, and you have the striking strip. And the bottle itself, you know, is just so beautiful.

And you can see it's not too big, not too small like the Three Little Bears set. Okay, it's just right. This is not something you're gonna lose in your car. It's gonna fall behind your car seat.

You know.

This is something that goes on a mantle. But it's not overtaking the room. It's not dominating. It's just doing what it's there to do. Help you light some candles, help you light a fire, and make your home have a glowy warm and come.

It's not the.

Warmth of the glow of a screen, right, this is real fire.

And I want to point this out. I don't know if people can tell this. You don't see this anymore. You do not see this anymore. This is glass, right, that's glass. Yeah. I really do like these and let me. I don't know if the camera can get that. But you know, this isn't something where somebody took a you know, they just wrote it real quick. This has got some, for lack of a better word, some real posazz. These

Like someone worked for the royal family and they were laid off and they needed some side work, and someone owned this match jar company and said, hey, I got over here, I'll give you a little this for a day's work. And they went absolutely bananas.

It's a beautiful, beautiful item, and I'm glad we got to share it with our fans today.

Oh my gosh. And this one, I'm looking up there there's one thousand, three hundred and eighty six left, but they are being sold in sets of one hundred, so you can get So you can grab a hundred of these. You'll be set for Christmases to come.

Ten of them along my window sill in my little bathroom. I never scored the window sill is this wide. You can't put anything on there. I try putting a candle, twenty percent falls off. I put ten of those right across them perfectly. Can I tell you why? Sometimes things that are embarrassing to talk about for us are doesn't

And I don't think it's overstepping to ask how many times a day do you defecate?

That's a good question. I would say three two two sometimes three. Wow.

So the hundred pack for you would be absolutely appropriate, right, not overkill in the.

Cl not at all, not at all.

And listen, each one their glass, they're individually wrapped. You can hand one of those to your mailman as a thank you. You couldn't hand one of those.

Wonderful way to say to your mail man. I know, whatever part of the land you live in, whether it's California, for a lot of people it's not so whether it's cold or hot, or rainy or humid, door to door to door to door, effortlessly, it seems to them to deliver your mail and.

To a little gift of just hey, thank you, I see you, I appreciate you, right so, and that that goes for a mother in law, that goes for a child sitter. You know, this is something teacher appreciation day. Here you go, spark, spark.

Spark, spark, spark, beautiful item.

So those are all that by a set of one hundred. You're not going to regret it. I know. One hundred sounds like a.

Lot does when you hear two, three, four five.

Don't count it out, don't think of it as don't think about the.

Numbers, think them, don't think about this, think about get it, think about order it.

I can afford this and just do it because so much of our life hemming and hawing and this and that and doing the calculations. I'm running the math. No, this will be of use. It will go faster than you think, and they're not going to be available through us for much longer. And we give you the best price, by the way, to.

Let people know. I know, sometimes because we are here to promote products, people think, you know, look, even the best of people, these they're out.

They're gone. And if you've got one, congratulations, because that's a piece of a lifetime.

They're gone.

Now there's something down here that I think is you're gonna be surprised.

Oh I see you brought that in. Oh well, we both, we.

Both, but this is something I myself was surprised when I saw it on the docket, but I am sold. Sou do you want to you? Do you want to bring it up?

And Tom? Is this talk about a heavy? You know, an item that's got some girth to it. And this is it's called a it's they called a brick foilett. I don't know why, but that's what they call it because there's so many.

Issues in France, I think the south of France, and originally used centuries ago.

And listen, can I can I? That's a heavy, that's a heavy. It's a heavy heavy. Talk about the word avant garde because this can be used as a paper weight.

And let's just say for the viewer listening, this is it's engineered to look like half of a brick. It's got the heft, it's got the chalkiness on it. It feels exactly like a brick broken in half. But guess what, it's an art piece. For one, there is only a how many of these are there? One hundred and eighteen in existence in the world. Okay, it's a paper weight if you.

Want, and so much more. And can I ask you? You can smell the earth, smell the earth, breathe it in.

It's like coming through a forest.

Walking through a forest. It has a smell that whether you try to. You know, sometimes when you do yogi, you think, is it in my head that this is working? Ram When you smell this, I just feel my whole body set.

If you hit that really hard into your face when you went to smell it, it was like coming towards you heavier they meet that. When you smell that, it takes you to what. It takes you to New York City, nineteen thirty brownstone building full of brick, the eighties, the comedy club background. It takes you to England. We're in the Cotswalls. We've got brick, charming country, cottages and homes. Bricks are literally the building pieces of a million different civilizations.

Yeah, this is a musk. I wouldn't, and I live in a safe neighborhood. I wouldn't.

We all think we do.

We all think we do till we're getting absolutely yeah, or hit over the head with a with a baseball bat or choke, or held against our will, stabbed over and over again. And it's when this happens when you go, I'm not shot, I've been shot. I'm shot. I'm bagging out. I'm watching I'm trying to call nine one one, but I'm watching myself bleed out, wondering how much time it's too late. But if you had this happy.

Brick is like a doctor's prescription for that situation.

Boom right at the person. This isn't the type of light thing that's going to throw at someone that's going to fall in between them. This is going to hit their head. You're gonna make a dent in their head, just right at them.

And this is the charge at you, and you hold it and before you even give a warning, boom, it's going right into their skull. And if you find now it's not like the babies where they have a soft spot. But there is places that are more vulnerable. On the skull it comes with the map of those places. You can unroll that scroll. It's a skull scroll. It's gonna tell you where is vulnerable and a predator or attacker in your neighborhood. You hold it at your hip as

These coyotes are in neighborhoods. They're coming out of the mountains and they're eating everybody's dogs and everybody's cats. They're jumping fences, they're eating your dogs. You're eating your cats. They're eating all your animals.

But well, eat this coyote. How wiley are you? Now?

Eat this? Or throw it near him. If you're trying to be friendly, to make sure throw it near them.

Yeah, give them a little shot.

Hey, you want to you want to eat my dog? Throw it at them? Yeah, let it just hit their paw.

They look over for a second and then they drag your dog off into the bushes. And you know, sometimes you win some sometimes you lose them. But the point being point it's an art piece and it is a largely reliable self defense system as well.

And how often you know with like we talk about this on this show all the time, homes are getting smaller, not bigger. I don't have room. I talk about it a lot. But this is a candle. I take a stick candle. You know, a stick candle is like a tapered candle.

Yeah.

Yeah, put it on here, melt.

It, melt it with attach it at the bottom of course, strike.

That talk about many uses.

By the way, we have one of those left.

We have one of those. And you know what, I like have an expression a lot when the truth tells the truth, we say, oh, there's so many ways you can use this, and we're they're moving quickly. We find out later another use. So it tells the truth. And there's one left, and you know what, I'm gonna buy it.

Oh my, that's it.

But you take the stick candle, you light the bottom, and you put it on here and when the colors, oh yeah, they just and that's like listen over here.

It's like something Ebony, Eboneze are screwed would carry, you know, like a little brick with a candle on it, because you can't buy a candlestick because he's mad, and you go, Ebenezer, come on, come on, let's have a little fun this holiday. He says, rap. And there he is holding his half a brick. But there's a charm to that. There's an old timiness to that. He's not on TikTok. He's not scrolling through that. He's reading by the candlelight. And that's what I aspire to, that type of living.

This is a beautiful you know what else you.

Want to do with that pound some chicken breasts, some big big blade of chicken breast. You take that brick, You just start fucking mauling that plate.

I try using. I have a meat tenderizer which is somewhat like this.

Okay, my gavel's it does.

It's not heavy enough. I feel like I'm hitting the chicken, but I'm not.

The meat is fighting back, meat is starting back.

And at one point I had my meat tenderizer that the break boom, Now stick this thing here, it's it'll butterfly your chicken like you've never seen before. Boom boom boom. This you talk about a candlestick holder, You talk about the most important thing, defending ourselves, defending not sending our kids. We send our kids off to college, and we don't even give them anything. In Heaven forbid that something happens

You know it's great for camping. And I'll tell you why. You're looking around. You're building it tent. The winds are whipping one hundred and eighty mile an hour winds. You're here trying to build a tent. Christ You're screaming as the wind's whipping through your hair. You can't see shit. This brick will hold your tent down while you're building it. It will hold your tarp down. If you need an extra hand and you don't have one, it's it's almost

It's something that you'll have forever. You'll have it forever, have it forever. These are beautiful and let me tell you something. I can smell it from here, and it's just making me just in the in the almost in the.

With ther the er.

The pyramids, where do they have in Egypt?

It feels like you are trekking up the side of Chiechenisa, something I incidentally have done before but now I think is closed to visitors. It gives you that feeling of the mysterious ancestral truths of Chichaizza. The pyramids of Egypt? What is on the dollar bill? Isn't there a pyramid on one?

Certainly?

What is that?

It's a Bieci. It's the place you said, how do you say that without seeming like you got stumped? It's the place.

It's what you said, the thing used that up the aforementioned location. So anyhow, the point being buy half.

A brick by brick.

It's going fast, and they're going fast.

And the shipping on these, yeah, it's pricey, but guess what worth it. You're not going to find a half a brick like this hardware store. You're not going to find a half a brick at home depot they sell whole bricks. Only order a half a brick, pay a huge and massive shipping feet and shut up.

And just buy it. This is just this is something that's solid.

So we at this point we're ripping through things here. Now this is crazy. This is a silk napkin straight from Avignon, France. This is made to look like a paper napkin, which I think is genius and so comedic, but then so chic. So this looks like a crumpled paper napkin. You open it up and you look at it. This is pure silk from Avignon. They have a factory there. The conditions are incredible. These are people, again who are

And when's the last time, people, you need? We need things to laugh at to be that's right, or a conversation piece. I always wonder is a napkin too? Informal there's a silk damp. Excuse me, I didn't know royalty was coming over to formal. This splits it almost right.

Down, Pilo. You get that high low combination. People get the luxury, but they don't have to feel uncomfortable. They don't have to feel someone's going without for them to go with.

This is just very beautiful. And let me show you something. These open up bigger than you would think.

That's right. Take a look at that, and that's actually a stretchy material. It can turn into a king sized doubt cover.

This turns into a king size doubt cover.

One thing I like to do. And you're not going to believe this, Okay, okay, this is gonna remind you of back when you were a kid, you did little origami projects. You fold it in half, you make the corners meet, you flip it over your head. Sorry, it's been a minute since I did this. You flip it over your head, you tuck it behind your ears. All of a sudden, you're a little country girl. You are living your best life. It's a little scarf over your head.

It, and every little one there with some there some.

This is intricate.

Pull on that so people see it's durable. We're pulling had. But take a look yanke it.

Oh, which that's fine, that's fine, that's fine.

That's just one.

Because when you get the pack of them, guess how many you get in a box?

I know the answer. One hundred.

Nope, keep going five hundred more than that, Pendel, I don't think twenty five million.

Now you're joking twenty million, thirty million?

You thought I was joking because I was going under. Well, let me tast something up the pandemic.

Although million silk napkins that look like paper.

Nap I don't throw around the word gorgeous. You don't style, but let me and I also don't want to be sad. As we come to a close here in today's episode. The pandemic is over, but yet it's not. I was in a store the other day, or not a store. I went into a clinic because I wanted to get a B twelve shot. And I don't need to tell you why do that? Yes, And when I went in there, they were, you gotta wear a mask. Oh my, I respected it. I haven't you know?

Yeah, there you were there, You go, I had this in my They go, sir, sir, not a napkin.

No, No, they did not say that.

Sir, sir. We said, Matthew, he said, were just holding it over your ear when.

You put the rubber bands at the end, and it's not going to stop COVID. But that's not my response.

That's not your problem.

But I love your idea about almost.

Oh, try it out almost.

I love it.

The hardest part is slipping it.

This can look too. It's hard to make one of those little hats look so pretty. Yours look so pretty on you.

Yeah, well, oh see Now this is almost honest. And for a guy, it's skewing Emperor but not.

You would think it's not too masculine, it's not too feminine. It's right down the middle teeny bit of both, which I love.

Yes, it's in the right lane for you. It's taking your normal look and it's upgrading it. And that's all any guy really wants.

And take a look at this, just if I was waving at someone on the street. Hey, I haven't seen it. Well, it's a friendly It doesn't make people scared if you hi, take a.

Look at this. So I'm looking over and I am just astounded because you've always been a handsome guy. You do this and it's just turning up the volume. It's just saying, hey, not only am I handsome, but I'm trying a little bit harder than I used to.

This is this is something.

And guess what's for dinner? Something with this napkin off my head on the side of your plate.

Multipurpose, and you have to multi purpose. And tonight people are down.

Their houses are tiny, so.

They need a napkin that can also be served as a hat.

Orright, or and let me tell you something on that topic. When I am making a big old tray of chicken breasts, I like to do a little secret where I dab the chicken so that when I put it in the oven it will crisp up. So I take these napkins and I dab a tray of big chicken breasts, and I just dab it, dabit, dab it. And then I put a little bit of oil salt and put it

You know, such truer words might have never been spoken, or at least on today's show. I was at a wedding a few weeks ago, and they come out with this big plate of chicken, oily greasy. All I did was fantasize about it. I didn't have it on me. That's why I keep it on me. Ya dabbing the grease right, everything wrong.

And then you wash it and it looks like silky and then.

You wash it and it's brand new. I use this on pizza two days.

Do you know what I do when I go to the country and I actually saw this on TikTok. You'll be into this. I take it, I wrap it so I wrap it around my ankle like that, and this way. When I'm walking through the countryside, ticks will be grabbed up onto these silk and cold napkin protectors, and those ticks flock to it. You see them, and they reduces your chances of getting bidden.

And let me tell you something. You get the tick you know, the rocky what is the I'm spacing on it right now. But there are so many now, there's so many these tick limes. Yeah, a friend of mine got it.

Not good, No, not great at all.

And also, you know people talk about the I always say the word wrong bidet.

Yeah, that's right.

I'm not a big fan, but I like to get in there.

Yeah.

You put a little witch hazel on this and just get it way up your ass with your finger. You clean it out. You feel great.

I love that. That's a great hack, and I'm always looking for ass hacks. I also, and forgive me if I'm imposing, But don't you think you could tie that around your neck and have it be sort of like a little little Uh?

I don't know. I don't want to wear a bow tie. I don't want to wear a tie.

I don't want to wear a scar.

I don't want to wear a scar. But I want to look extra special nice to night. Maybe could I save it as a guy a little fancy, a little special, right? And then you take this and you just put it right there.

Oh that's cool.

And then you take the corners, you roll it up like that, okay, and then you take it like this, Wow, shove it.

Wow, that's great.

I don't mean to make a joke about it, but yeah, these are these are what were you suggesting? Well?

I sort of was imagining something, but I have a tiny neck, so you know, I was imagining something where it's sort of you put it around your neck and then is there enough little space to just do a lot o tie? And then you're Jamappelle Chency.

I don't even know if the camera can get this, but there's almost a flickering, almost like when we put it in front of there, but from the colors and the tones of the gorgeous tones that you already have in your skin. Flickering off this A lot of times when we put something around our neck, we don't make it white. We make it dark. We make it brown, we make it green, we make it dark colors, tan colors. But that white makes you look almost could I say, have a glistening tan right?

It makes your skin pop. So I think that if there's anything we've proven and about this product, it's indispensable. Pretty soon, your whole life is revolving around it. You're going to sleep in it as a duvet. You're wiping your face with it, You're digging up your ass with it, you're wearing it on your head, you're wrapping around your neck. Sometimes I take a little piece of it like this, and I roll it thin into a little kind of almost toothpick shape, and then I rub it all over my teeth.

Like almost like a teeth like they have those things you slip on your teeth. Oh, a toothpick that.

Yeah, it won't pick well.

The problem with the old toothpicks are you you don't know what you're picking your teeth. You go outside, there's blood dripping from all your gumbs.

Yeah.

Yeah. I saw a friend the other night he goes, why is everybody? I go, were you picking your teeth with an old fashioned wooden toothpick? Pouring out of his snake? Nobody want to talk to me?

Are you a vampire?

This is beautiful?

A werewolf? He's like, no, I'm used in old fashioned.

Too old fashion.

There's a silk toothpick that has been broken off of a napkin duvet necklace head piece.

People.

I don't know if you have gotten enough today, but I feel like we did.

Chelsea. Can I tell you something? What number one? I love you? I really tried to to hold like my laughter in yeah, but because but I know this might see it. I might. I know this might seem self consuming, but I know when you did it for me at the podcast years ago, how much fun it was, because you know, my friends listening to the show they go to I couldn't get enough of that. I think we gave a good dose of it, like we just did it and did it. Yeah, but I wanted to laughs hard.

You know what's crazy is that I I think I honestly, it's like, I guess it would ruin the fun if we really were selling a product. But I genuinely think you and I could do this job.

What if we fel well, you know what after you did that? I went in uh for years ago and they started doing that. I was like twenty years old, and they thought comedians would be good at it. Yeah, and my friend Pat went in like to test out for it in the day. They gave them a few products, and I had no idea what the infomercial was on television whatever they call it. What do they call those shows?

We would be like, yeah, we would be fired if we had.

Yeah. Yeah, and we did it, but we really sold.

Them, right, Like I'm trying to think, so.

Like talk about we talked about that.

Like these coasters, like I really have these coasters. Okay, they're like Marbley, but like, could I sell it? That wholeheartedly. It's like, yeah, you're gonna get some fucking coasters and put some shit on it.

It would be fun to do, like if we had a little prep and we did it again where we have a model just there to model these things that are over there, So we would take tape and put a hook on it so they could put it on his earrings or in the end of their shoes, like I put them on the bus.

You know who would be the perfect model.

I don't know someone that just because they always cut to these models on the shoes. Have you ever noticed that?

And they'll be walking if you know, they're at like some bar in like Akron, Ohio, and someone's like, what do you do? And they're like, I'm a.

Model, Home Shoppers model. Oh Man, Chelsea, Chelsea Chelsea.

Kind of like we just boned.

I know, I'm not kidding you. For everybody that's watching or listening, it's an exhausting It is a cathartic and in my insides, like I wanted to laugh so hard I go I don't want to just giggle through the whole thing. I wanted because I think it's better for the people watching.

But it was hard you would just say something that was so full of shit with a straight face, and I'm like exhausted. I feel like I had to work at my inside. It almost good to see you, you know, I haven't seen you in a while. I appreciate your kind words. They don't go in one ear and out the other. They melt my heart. But we could do the pitch so quick.

Oh yeah, let's talk about that. It's a pitch for a Is it for a television show?

No? No, no, it's it's it's a stand up shows. It's no, not even that, it's it's it's it's a stand up show and you watch it. It's the guts of it are stand up show. And the reason I say that is because I know what it's like to want to go out and see stand up. It's fun. Yeah, a lot of laughs per minuted with a tight stand up show. And this gives it to you. It's not a one man show. It's not a new concept. It's a stand up show.

Now you're selling I am.

You know why because I'm trying to rip through it in thirty seconds and it does it. So it's a stand up show that I want to do in New York. I want to have a residency in New York pub kind of thing. So it's that Thames come up a lot. I do want to do it in a place where they're drinks, but more like a jazz club with black tablecloths and you know, and there's drinks, no.

Food, old timey.

Yeah, my act isn't, but I guess the band is. The band does bits with me.

Okay. So here's when I watched it. I was laughing because as you're like, it's it's hard to describe kind of or something. I can't remember what you said, but you're like, imagine like a comedy show but.

A lot of production.

Yeah, And to me, it was reminding me of who is that comedian that Jim Carrey played in that.

Movie Andy Andy Kaufman.

When he was dying. It's like, it feels like the pitch should be. It's like a show I would do if I found out I had cancer.

I'm going to tell you this right now. The reason I made the four and a half minute thing that's on YouTube. It's called the Event of a Lifetime. Yeah, because someone said Todd say, you can't describe it, and that's what's good about it. Because no matter if, like if you tried to describe it or I tried to describe it, no one home is getting it. And I don't mean that sarcastically. So it's a stand up show with a lot of production around it, but for whatever

It's but couldn't you do it at like the Cherry Leyne Theater, Joe's Pub, Marisnova, and then they promote it to their own built in audience, not like.

It needs to be treated like when a play opens up. There's serious funding put into that and it can't I could do it now to the cows come Home. But if I don't have the funding, I could cut back on other things. I could not have a four eight piece band, have a four piece ban. Those things are all manipulated.

But the money piece span.

And I don't mean to over preface it, but I know that I'm right, and I know someone out there goes he's right. You could go do it in New York and do it and rely on their built an audience. You need to have the money to bring it to people that don't know who I am. So I'll wait the wait to have the proper amount of money to go to New York and turn it into something.

So the show is an eight piece band.

It's backing me doing mac food. No no, no, it's like like a nice jazz club.

Me.

As soon as I see that tablecloth go down, I'm like, I'm eating no food.

I don't want the interruption of food during the show about drinks.

No drinks, no drinks, no food, ice, clanking, no nothing. You sit there, smoke pot when you come in.

And then but it's uh, you know you saw the video there, Like I try to longate a comedy experience, and I thought of every single thing. How can you elongate in that? Oh do it at clubs, but I tried to take it to another level. Some clubs they open an hour before the show starts. Two of the band members are out there playing keyboards and drums as they're coming in instrumental. After the show, I try to have an ice cream truck and the whole band goes

Absolutely an honor to be reunited. Todd Glass, Todd's getting it. What you what car are you driving in this fantasy exit?

Oh? I have a Black Prius, but I know what I want to get.

Oh what do you want to get?

I want to get a Bronco.

Todd is getting into his Ford Bronco and driving off to go get.

A Philadelphia Cheese steak.

Here he goes, peace out. Thanks for coming, Todd, Peace bye. This is me getting in my hang glider.