CALL CHELSEA PERETTI - podcast cover

CALL CHELSEA PERETTI

Chelsea Perettilinktr.ee
Give a call and see what happens 213.789.7589
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Episodes

THE SIDESLEEPER VIRUS

Chelsea is interviewed by a strange and largely benevolent robot in this very special episode. With her directorial debut "First Time Female Director" out on Roku, a PMSing Chelsea takes a sudden philosophical interest in the world of criticism and review culture, envies scientists, mourns for Wendy Williams, explores the most polite way to say one has to go to the bathroom, and learns about pillow weight gain. Caller "Golden Tickets" and the first "Ozempic Food Test" are introduced. Longtime po...

Mar 28, 20241 hr 6 min

THE SUN’LL COME OUT, JEFF MAURO

"The Sandwich King" Jeff Mauro, whose aunt was head of rat patrol for the city of Chicago, pops by to eat his favorite sandwich and share a malted milkshake. He and Chelsea invent the seesaw technique, and discuss Chuck e Cheese pizza, Katsu, habitual toasters, char, bean sandiwches, eggplant and tahdig, rice, hinged rolls, gloppy food like egg salad, and ciabatta aka she-broughta bread. A caller introduces the first ever "Dog Test!" Chelsea starts typing a podcast show bible and is almost taken...

Mar 21, 20241 hr 12 min

UTTERLY COWTRAGEOUS

Entertainer-to-the-bone Paul Scheer, hot off a cold plunge, blasts into the CCP studio for a late in the day coffee and high-octane, wordplay-heavy chat about highly sensitive people, "sir" as a slur, work emails, work costumes, cannoli, Yordy Rance, cold cases, OCD, intrusive thoughts, personality disorders, age. A therapist calls and refuses to diagnose Chelsea. Crying at a Veteran's hospital and children's hospital. Dog gurneys. Aliens.

Mar 14, 20241 hr 28 min

BONUS: POWERS CRISTIA! WITH BENNY AND KATE

In this very special episode Chelsea is joined by two Rokuligans, comedy geniuses, and cast members of First Time Female Director: Benito Skinner and Kate Berlant. Benny roasts Chelsea’s phone while Chelsea nurses her hand wounds from a fall on the way into studio. They attempt a variety of accents, discuss the merits of setting spray, and a caller raises awareness on the emergency blueberry bagel as medicine for stomach viruses. Kate arrives and the trio speaks on Beaudegas, marzipan and prince...

Mar 09, 20241 hr 7 min

DRUGSTORE JUNE AND FIRST TIME FEMALE DIRECTOR

Two prominent women in film, beauty influencer Esther Povitsky and renowned shut-in Chelsea Peretti, come together to discuss food, almost exclusively. You can see them starring in “First Time Female Director” on Roku Friday March 8 and Drugstore June on Apple March 8. Do a double-header or just watch Chelsea’s. Thanks!

Mar 07, 20241 hr 30 min

THE DAY THE TOOTH GOT LOOTH

Quad-dominant podcaster Chelsea Peretti listens to your voicemails, takes calls, and ponders the very meaning of time in this musically front-heavy episode. A sailor pop song! A jellyfish attack! An exercise clothing vendor! A dramatic recipe monologue. Pottery. Santa's anus. Lavender lattes. Etc.

Feb 29, 20241 hr 14 min

BOOK OF RISKS

Chelsea welcomes highlining daredevil Faith Dickey to talk the wild world of highlining, when you walk across a rope super high up. Why is it valuable to do scary things? Is moderation the key to longevity? Infrared, compression sleeves, scrapers, epsom salts. Callers share what risks they take. An aspiring stand-up calls. Airplane etiquette. A solo round of "Who's Slurpin." Shoestring, curly, waffle, and steak fries. Malt vinegar. Brown sauce. Voicemails. The gap between the invention of bread ...

Feb 22, 202459 min

NECESSITY OR INCLINATION

The first lady of lattes and queen of caffeine is joined by legendary comedian Natasha Leggero, hot off of taking her shirt off onstage. Chelsea tries not to talk over people as a previous callers husband calls from the Catskills, a lady calls from her bath, and a stay at home dad calls to talk about shoulders. Natasha shirks gatekeeping and shares her lipstick and over-all brands as well as a secret for delicious tea. Discussion of a potty trained cat, people pleasers, fake aging hacks, chores,...

Feb 15, 20241 hr 40 min

ADAM SCOTT: PEANUT BUTTER MANIA

In this episode, alternately titled: SCIENTISTS ARE PLAYING GAMES WITH OUR MOUTHS, as well as PB & C & S, Adam Scott and Chelsea make a TJs run to grab repetitively named snacks and return to the stude to sample them. Chelsea has consistent trouble speaking, flabbergasted by the sheer volume of peanut-based snacks in what quickly devolves into a nightmare. Imagine a 1 hr 20 min long rollercoaster (where the ride is relatively flat). That is this episode. A danish kringle, a cannoli dip, ...

Feb 08, 20241 hr 20 min

JOE BITIN’

In peak award season, Chelsea lures "Jury Duty" break-out star (and Chicago's own) RASHIDA “SHEEDZ” OLAYIWOLA to the studio to slurp coff and talk Altimas. They read fake car ads. They chat about Hollywood: flash differential on the red carpet, how nobody 10-2s, weak eye contact at LA parties, and auditioning. Chelsea harps on the fact that the fork doesn't seem to have evolved. AND THEN, out of nowhere, a therapist with the gift of the gab shares a tale of a dinner party gone awry. One small do...

Feb 01, 20241 hr 12 min

A CATALINA DDT DUMPSITE, AMONGST OTHER THINGS

Chelsea, called "a beacon of femininity" by one caller, draws compulsive hearts on a notepad while leading a riveting discussion about over-identifying with your generation label. She gives advice to a woman dating a man who fails to tell her he has a child. She chats about things like "The Notebook" with a charming first-gen Egyptian dude. B99 fans call. A Golden Caller emerges. A desert dog hike mishap. Blonde roast coffee, Kraft dinner, kale, apples, and unfortunately: peanut butter.

Jan 25, 20241 hr 20 min

CLACK AND SLAP

Have you ever been attacked by a massive Grizzly bear on the top of a mountain where no one can hear your screams? This week’s guest Alex Messenger has! Chelsea welcomes the chipper bear attack survivor and his massive vocabulary to the show with open, giddy arms.

Jan 18, 20241 hr 14 min

CHELS PP SOLOCAST

Chelsea delivers a solo pod, manic, with wet hair, and two coffees deep. Breaking news! Opening songs! A shocking stance on vibrato! A new shoe reveal! Caller voicemails from a sad bday girl, a man who shat in nature, a group texter, a man questioning humans as interspecies "heroes," a dog bite survivor, a lady with no taste, an old timey lass yearning for love, and a dude with a powerful Chels PP name pitch. Chelsea imagines a dream news cycle and a utopian world. Chelsea thinks her Blockudoku ...

Jan 11, 202457 min

AM I AWARE?

Hot off his new special Pete Holmes chews nicotine gum and joins Chelsea for a scholarly spiritual exploration. A discussion of the end of holiday cheer, gradients of sobriety, memory photo albums, missing your "comedy class," intrusive thoughts, breath work, not being poly, sleep, yoga, and snacks. Pete asks himself questions and quotes Boy Genius, Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts, Ram Dass, and Rupert Spira. Old references like MOTPC and MYM and Deec PJ. Chelsea brings a real live gavel to make snap ...

Jan 04, 20241 hr 16 min

SINGY AND CLINGY

Musician Will Schwartz joins Chelsea for a joyous pod full of songs and singing about boundaries, love, and technology. Will contemplates his past life as a comedic personality. A caller infuriatingly calls all buttons “buzzers.” Chelsea writes live emails to a variety of experts. We peruse the case of Atlanta Andrew, a recluse without a door, and Toronto Josh (subjected by his husband to radio silence). We close it out with a caller who was attacked by a vicious dog!

Dec 28, 20231 hr 21 min

SLURP WARS

Tim Heidecker joins Chelsea in her 500 degree studio to take turns spiraling and ask callers to play a game called: "Who's Slurpin'?" Han calls. A 28 year old caller from Perth has searing insight into Tim's past visits to Perth! Ghosts, energy, spirit, and soul. Tim plays one of his songs. A caller shares some acting class lunacy involving bone breakage. We examine the irksome blase tone of cooking content. Daddy's dinner bell. Tim's fans call and promote his entire body of work. A poly dude wh...

Dec 21, 20231 hr 18 min

I LOVE BEING A SPECK OF DUST

A mom calls for momtalk. A dude with a deep belly button shares his challenges and triumphs. A discussion of how to get off social media. Car crash alerts. A hematologist calls. An eyeliner rec. Military time. Rubbery pancakes and waffles. Grama impressions and reflections. Food test: gravy. Talking to callers like cute dogs. A barista calls from Alaska. And finally an interview with a couple who replaced their massive grass lawn with a native wildflower garden, thus inspiring their neighbors an...

Dec 14, 20231 hr 43 min

YOU ARE NOT THE SAME

On this episode, we dive into the sci-fi world of head injuries and brain problems. Two legendary guests join us: Dr. Langer, Chair of Neurosurgery at Lenox Hill Hospital, and star of two riveting Netflix docu-series "Emergency NYC" and "Lenox Hill," AND: Morgan Murphy, kiss-ready comedian and Abbott Elementary writer extra-ordinaire. Plus calls from various afflicted parties, blithering on with so-and-so and whosy whatsit. Thanks to iHeart music catalog for an exploration of musical nirvana....

Dec 07, 20231 hr 42 min

BEST OF CCP 1 - WEIRDOS, FREAKS, AND OUTCASTS

German legend Oliver calls to inquire after his mysterious letter and Chelsea shares with him about the common practices in Hollywood. A baseball player takes us on a party-boi rollercoaster. An Australian caller gives Chelsea a chance to practice her accent. Chelsea's ex "Chance" (nick kroll) - calls and shares about his copycat podcast and tries to get back with Chelsea until she says yes, at which point he's out. "I loved you too much to date you." A jackpot food test including: swordfish, su...

Nov 30, 20231 hr 25 min

4. PROXY ANIMAL ATTACK STORIES CULMINATING IN ACTUAL ANIMAL ATTACKS

A mouse encounter. A lady swims “near” a shark. Two insane girls call. Just another day on the pod until some Brit in the medical profession shares a harrowing dog attack tale. Finally, composer Chris Lennertz calls and details his BEAR ATTACK STORY!!!!! *JACKPOT SOUND EFFECT* Hashtag bear attack. Hashtag Lake Tahoe. Hashtag jackpot sound effect.

Nov 30, 202359 minEp. 4

A very special CCP: THACHER ISLAND

Chelsea debuts a new dramatic play-in-progress reading excerpt at Vulture Fest, this time set against the backdrop of a barren island off the coast of Massachusetts. "Thacher Island" features a fisherwoman marooned on an island whose son is mysteriously lost at sea, a seagull named Silver, a dark secret, and a pair of strange visitors who may change things forever... Q&A follows. Starring John Early, Kaitlin Olson, and Xosha Roquemore. Stage directions read by Deanna Barillari.

Nov 23, 20231 hrEp. 5

TRENDS, AFFLICTIONS, BAKED GOODS

Tinseltown MUA Nova Kaplan visits the studio to discuss tiktok makeup trends such as: pumpkin girl makeup, cloud makeup, faux freckles, red carpet looks, and stage makeup, while giving Chelsea a "Latte Girl" beat. Chelsea tries to get her barky dog to bark and learns he is no show-pony. A caller pretends she has old skin. A lass with mild eczema on her knuckles shares her girlfriend's harrowing medical tale. A gent is mysteriously cured of Psoriasis. Famous dermatologist Dr. Emma dishes on bot f...

Nov 16, 20231 hr 14 min

69 AND SHREDDED

The Call Chelsea Podcast returns with calls about PEPSI LOVING BEARS! CARROT LOVING HORSES! TUCKED SHEETS! BAKED POTATOES! Featuring ASMR, coffee songs, an analysis of trying to get shredded (including push-up condescension), new sound effects, couture sound effects, a caller named Crisp, and a caller who treats Chelsea like a patient. Cake pops emerge as a super villain. From meandering to over-produced - there’s sure to be something for everyone! Aggressive sound work done in post by friend of...

Nov 09, 20231 hr 33 min

CALL CHELSEA PERETTI: THE PREQUEL. IN ANOTHER DIMENSION!!!!!

The legendary podcast returns, imagining what happened BEFORE it in time AND space- jk its just a new version of the pod! Now with interviews, live taste tests, special guests, makeovers, video, and stuff like that but still maintaining the integrity of medical and bear fixations. And you: the caller.

Nov 02, 20231 min
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