A WHOLE NEW POD

Hello.

I am Jesse David Fox, Senior writer at Vulture, host of Good One, a podcast about jokes. We are so excited to welcome Chelsea Pretti to Vulture Festival. You know Chelsea, of course from Brooklyn ninet nine and she also made her feature debut this year with her film first time female director. The team at Vulture, and in particular is

I am so honored to be here tonight as part of Vulture's Playwrights Horizons pro. Over eight thousand playwrights submit their work each year and Vultures panel of judges only select one single winner, and the panel is just Jesse David Fox. Anyway, I won, and I feel incredibly fortunate

For the part of the stranger, Caitlin Olsen, and last, but certainly not least, someone who has incredible theatrical training.

She was telling us in the green room.

Miss Zosha Rockmore and I will be playing the part of Mother.

Oh.

Also, Diana is going to be reading our stage directions, a crucial and important and valuable role that should be recognized with a hearty intro. Okay, we're beginning.

Thatcher Island a play by Chelsea Peretti. Cast of characters Mother, a weathered fisherwoman, William her Son, a young man with big dreams, Stranger a mysterious newcomer, Margaret an enterprising seafarer. Setting Thatcher Island one mile off the coast of Massachusetts. This is a real place.

Production notes.

There will be lots of thematic lighting, sounds of waves, crashing wind, and fans blowing the actor's hair around like crazy. The ac will be set really cold to simulate wintry islands. Subconsciously, the island is rugged and barren, large hunks of rock and weathered wood. A few useless items like sea glass dot the stage. Two lighthouses flank the set glowing mightily acknowledgments. The author would like to thank various people for their

The winds furiously.

Blow the ice white hair of Marlene Matlin, sixties, weathered and gritty, with a splash of vitality shining in her eyes. She stands at the stage at the edge of a barren island near one lighthouse, with a second lighthouse in the near distance. She holds a lantern and stares out at the rough seas to a seagull perched on a rock beside her.

Misery me, Silver, I got a bad feeling deep down in my gut rough seas.

I guess that's why you're here with me, isn't it, Old sky Rat?

Not so brave in these deep westerly and northwesterly winter winds anymore? Since the wing injury you sustained to January's back.

Are you? I thought, surely that'd be the end of you.

A rare thing.

You are a rare.

Thing, pulling a fragment of a mirror out of her pocket.

Or maybe behind the rare thing.

Talking to myself like a loon here at the footpath to an icy chasm that sucks man and boat alike straight down, as if into the churning core of the earth.

Looking out at water and holding a lantern to cease.

You'd be dark soon, silver, pitch black, with only the moon shimmering on the frothy spit up of the waves, smashing together every which way like new lovers.

And where is my son, well, mysn.

Out there somewhere without me, me the center of his soul.

Mother crumples to her knees. Boy, you make it back, and we will get off this island. I swear to God been marooned here, high and dry.

For near fifteen years, as reflected by the notches in the grizzl old tree by the lighthouse.

Ain't there right?

Silver? And you fell from your nest the very first day we arrived. And we can for each other, didn't we?

Silver?

But A seagull's lifespan in the wild tops out at twenty years It tops out of twenty years, old friend, I hope you'll go the distance for my sake.

A stranger's voice appears out of nowhere.

Oh hi, oh hi, there land ho moderation a strange voice.

What what?

Sorry, I'm down the bank, approaching tempest almost took me out. Wolf a rocky barren land ow any port in a storm, I suppose.

Well, it certainly hasn't been fair winds and following seas.

I'll give you that.

Miss. Here, take you this blanket. It was for my son. But oh yep.

The stranger hastily grabs the blanket and wraps it around her entire bar.

A blanket, by jove, A blanket? Am I dreaming? Hallucinating?

Or are you one of Neptune's wooden angels come to life?

Is this real?

This wooden blanket is so wom oh inconceivably so? After them frosty gales, the warmth of a blanket feels like being a finger fucked by Adonis, the love God himself.

Pardon my French, miss.

We're all sailors here, madam. Here, take this thermos of Dutch courage. Made it for my son long lost at see. I'm guessing a sip of this so feel like a Donnas smacking your g spot with his rock hard dong while Aphrodite flicks your.

No hm hm no oh, hot spitting monkey. If I'm it you're not that far off, good lady. A few chugs of that and I find my constitution not only revived, but also a smidge juice. You know, I always wondered as a mariner, if my luck ran out out there, would I speak to God? Would I restore that unshakable faith of my youth?

The answer is yes.

I sang gospel for hours, riding waves like I was on a roller coaster at a state fair. Sadly I only know one gospel song, so it was hell. Ironically, I speaking of irony, I sing your boy, what my son?

You're positively implanted in his blanket, yet failed to mention you've spied him. I thought you were a friend, but perhaps you are foe or satanic phantom. How can I be sure I haven't lost my mind without him?

How is he?

Oh?

He's out there.

Right, Yes that I know, generally speaking.

Well, I don't have a compass on me. You know, I saw him hours ago, days Maybe I don't know. I love last track of time. I measure time now in currents, winds, darkness. I saw your boy bobbing in the flotsam and jetsam, clinging for his life to a fragment of a ship, bright red and in gold, riding it said the word luck on it.

Ah. I don't know.

I imagine that the wretched irony luck in such fine gold print on a battered remnant of a ship, and in the clasp of the most wretched creature imaginable to boot.

He built that ship, learned to make paint from dirt rocks and soil ochre mixed for seawater and ground up leaves and grasses. The gold was made from one of my old bracelets, And like a fool, he chose the word luck.

Ah. How did he appear? Was he in good enough health considering his circumstances?

Ah, he was an apparition, wind whipped and sunburned, swollen. He was grotesque, purple blue and green with yellow puss.

Wildly. I did wave my hands, shouting you there, oh, maybe hello boy? Can you hear me?

Swabi you who?

Boy?

And he didn't say a word nah.

When he next bobbed.

At last, his visage turned straight toward me, straight as the crow flies.

And well he was either winking me or what well? Or one of his eyes was clear gone.

No, no, he had to be winking. Most likely maybe got saltwater in his eye or a bit of sand, so it was just closed to kind of protect it from further damage. Miss How did you manage to come ashore when my boy was so horribly whirling about in the vomited seas.

You likely won't believe this, but I was carried upward on the back of a sweet, sturdy walrus, And when I began to sink, I felt him or her or them a walrus, a walrus pushing me up to the surface of the water, nudging me up to the light, lifting guiding by my rear end.

You know, my buttock area right above my hamstring but below my lower.

Back kind of curves outward and two muscular bulges, and then there's like a shadowy inwardly turned hole between them where the old food comes out.

It doesn't smell great, but it does the trick.

The butt Yes, I know the butter carriers.

Well, that sacred benevolent walrus he hoisted Heshi, They hoisted me to where I sit. Before you want it treacherous, such a island only island with two lighthouses, An's eyes as they're known.

And heed Ann's eyes, Or is it the only pair of lighthouses with one island. Maybe it should be called Anne's face shape. Focus on the island part not guess it depends on your point of view. Yeah, this has been fun, but god, I miss my son.

Right right, dark seas, I tell you, dark seas.

Indeed, William appears, shivering and squinting. Mother rushes town my.

Brushious, William, how long have you been standing here?

An incredibly long drawn out time.

Bearing witness to an excruciating dialogue full of tedious minutia.

And I won't mince words.

It's cold enough out there to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

Miss, I need the blanket back, now, here's son.

Mother takes the blanket off the stranger and wraps it around her.

William, Oh, oh, losing that blanket feels like getting kept in the teeth by a donkey.

The while I see snake burrows in your ass. I love that expression. But blood is thicker than water, miss, and thus it is rightfully William's blanket.

It's a little wet, like there's literal drips coming off it's him.

Oh, I feel terrible. Well, we didn't know if you would make it.

I knew you would.

I tried to tell her, but she kind of grabbed it.

I mean, you know, it's better than nothing, but it's definitely damp, intangibly used.

Oh man, oh man, starting to feel super guilty in addition to freezing cold.

Want this thermosa groad. There's still a sip or two left.

Thanks, I'll have a sip. Thanks so much.

Hmm he SIPs awkward silence.

Mm. It's funny. Might not have made it if there hadn't been of let me go back. It's funny.

I might not have made it if there hadn't have been two lighthouses. You really start to understand the beauty of the whole two lighthouse system out at sea, how so well as they're bobbing around as well as you're bobbing around, vomiting and being.

Thrashed by the waves.

You try to study your dizzy brain by training your eyes on the land aka hope and survival. As the fog shifts and obscures one of the lighthouses let's call it Lighthouse A, then boom, lighthouse B comes into play.

Well, God bless this tiny eccentric island with two lighthouses.

Miraculous to have my feet back in the dirt firmly planted between them.

Amen, Hey, should we share the blanket?

I think we effectively are sharing because you had a turn and now I'm having a turn.

Been meaning to ask about that eye? Will you you winking at me?

Son?

I suppose you could call it an internal wink? Mother, My eye is out there somewhere in the claws of a crab, or jaws of a shark, or impaled on the spine of a sea urchin, or.

Rolling like a marble in the dark belly of a frogfish.

Or maybe, hey, do you not recall precisely what happened to your eye?

I was in and out of consciousness. God love me. I remember things and flashes the truth. I wish I could unsee what I did see with my one remaining eye. Flash unimaginable swells, dredging of hungry, thirsty creatures from the sea's core, Flash gnashing their teeth and flapping their slimy, poisoned fans, flash poking their paralyzing stingers inches from my face and mouth, flash slapping their sand paper skin, cross

The word luck painted on it.

The word luck mocking me as if I was tossed, as I was tossed fifteen feet into the air by a whale's blow hole, literally breaking every single bone on the way down.

Luck.

The irony of the word luck on the wood might have been yuck or suck, but not what luck. She also mentioned the irony of that what's your name, miss Vagina Jenkins?

I'm sorry, what pardon?

What is it?

My name is Vagina Rosemary Jenkins most unusual.

I used to love rosemary before I got marooned here pregnant on this island.

Rosemary is one of my favorite seasonings. Hypothetically speaking, I've obviously never had it, only heard tell for mother in all her stories about the life she.

Used to know.

I always wondered if one of the lighthouses could be used by used to somehow shelter and grow plants, But I never got much further than that. No, no seeds. I suppose they would be crucial to the enterprise.

I bet it could work with seeds and soil, and I sell both have a bunch of little packets back at the.

Margaret No, you're early? No?

Who is Margaret? Mother?

A land lover with clean clothes, unrotted teeth, and shiny clear skin. Very casually addressing you as an acquaintance. Make it make sense before I scream too late.

Yes, I'm a little lost. Are you also shipwrecked? Miss?

I'm a mermaid.

I'm kidding, though the answer may sound as bizarre as the joke. For many moons now, I come in the dead of night to take Miss Carlton a mile over to the mainland to get some toiletries and odds and ins veg snacks, books.

Fresh rosemary sprigs.

Even I've been doing this once a week for I don't know a decade at least. She struggles with insomnia, so she likes to make the journey, as she says, and the darkest portion of the night. Though this is the first I know of a sun or anyone else on this island.

I thought she was alone here.

Mother.

It's not how it sounds.

There seems like it's how it sounds.

Oh hush, Vagina, what kind of ridiculous name is that? No one's buying it.

It's real, and it sounds like you really duped your own child.

Mother, You're a crooked stick. And I don't care if I wake snakes to tell you. If what I think is fucking happening is actually fucking happening, I will throw you in a lighthouse, stuck hate and lock the door.

So help me trying.

Me and Vagina will hop on Margaret's water taxi and make the old heave ho and let you perish. And every time I look at that pair of lighthouses, I will spit twice in the direction of that's your island. So tell me, mother, have you been buying to me that we are stuck here? And what's more, have you been hiding rations from me to the point where I built a derelic ship and set sail in search of a better life for both of us.

Ultimately losing an eye.

Because it sounds an awful like that is precisely what happened.

You know what, Sorry, I h I misspoke. This is actually my first time on this island.

I got lost.

I was basically adrift, came a deck here for no real reason.

I'm bad at boating. You see, the lady there looked like a different one. I know, I got confused from the cold airth.

Sweet Margaret and sweet sweet Vagina caught in the crossfire of a lying sneak old sea hag and her beautiful chiseled, perfect haired, flush cheeked, cum one eyed son.

Sea devil speak. Wait, what is that coming out of the water?

Nice?

Try mother, I'm not even looking, Margaret. Is there something there?

Mother shoots a look at Margaret.

Looks like there could be Like there's a little blurry shape. I can't tell if it's a bubble or or it could be like a rock or a wave, or a feather or sea bird.

Margaret, Enough of your ridiculous and transparent attempts at collaborative perjury.

Vagina, do you see anything?

Mother swivels and stares daggers at Vagina.

Mother, you're up, tell us all what you have done?

All right? I did it. I did secretly lie to my son, for I did want to live with him alone in peace. Is that so wrong to love your son and not want him exposed to the evils of mankind? The bar fights, the abusing of women, the schoolyard taunting, the hierarchies, the battles.

I wanted to keep him tucked safely away, safely.

To keep him in nature with me, with only love and no hate, no ills of the world. I'd like to taste some ills of the world. I'm a man.

Cigarettes and cocktails, prostitutes and fried foods. I want cup links and custards, and to ride a horse at full gallop.

I want a pet dog. I wanna be.

Tossed in the clink after a night of obscene drinking. Whiskey and scotch and brandy and bourbon, a vaudeville's show, amusement parks, arcades, dance halls, ice skating.

It's all my right, and you took it from me. Very compelling when I held you what I held.

You as a baby, and looked into your eyes, and I put you to my breast, and I thought, I don't want anything, anything at all, to ever come between our tranquility.

Look around, mother, there are two lighthouses on this aisle, not for punsies, but to market as a particularly dangerous location.

As if on cue. Winds whipped violently, and lightning lights of the sky thunder followers.

Look around you, damn woman.

See how the wind upturns the sticks and rocks and grasses gaze upon the condition of silver's wing twisted and combusted from simply trying to fly here above thatcher island, Thatcher's Whoa they call it.

And you're the one who told me that bit of lore.

William, I promise you I see those things. I'm not trying to turn a blind eye. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean to say that, like I not. I Ah, well a, I wouldn't have brought you here if I hadn't seen far more dastardly things on that distant land. Your father.

Was a bad man, Oh, don't play. Your father was a bad man, card not when my mother was you. But oh, how shameful it must it be to sin at such a great degree. You deeply disturbed Wench wench to think I might have died a virgin.

Okay, well, I'm going to pull the boat around off the rocks. I can see she's getting beat about. I'll tidy your up, light some candles and things like that. I'll leave you all to your family business.

Here cheerio.

Stop.

She pulls out a tiny pistol.

You're right, miss, my name isn't Vagina, very astute, I'm a pirate. It was a fictitional name, so when I high tail it out of here, you'll never find me.

How about this ending to your sordid familial tale.

I'm going to eat all your rations, particularly if you have any strawberry jam, which I happen to love, and then I'm going to tie you each to a lighthouse.

I'm gonna make love to Margaret on the grass, and.

Then I'm going to point my pistol at all of you and hop aboard the ship.

What is a ship called anyway, Margaret?

It has a funny kind of name.

You see.

I love silver the gull, so I incorporated part of that word silver, and I love that cher ivand so I use the chir.

I put the two together and got silcher.

Isn't silching that sordid phenomenon where you talk to someone while they.

Defecate, Margaret, why don't you put the words fuck and you together and get fucked?

Because I can tell you're trying to buy time.

That would be food, Go time, silver gold time.

William Gester is wildly the seagull who flies straight to Vagina the pirate and defecates.

Very cool. You touch your stupid seagull to shit on people's heads.

In fact, I did.

Ah.

It's yet another illustration of how incredibly bored I have been for my entire life on this frigid island.

Cool well, smooth sailing, your lubbers. I'm out of here. I'm feeling generous, so I'm not gonna tie you up. I'm just gonna back away, pointing my pistol. Load up, lady Silcher and split.

Don't do it, Vagina, Take me with you.

Her name is a vagina.

You were going to make love to me on the grass, were you not?

Yeah?

Changed my mind.

Why is that.

A certain expression you gave?

It?

Gave me the ick, you know.

I hate to remind everyone I'm a virgin in a fair world. If anyone is copulating or exiting this island, it should be me.

Ah, the thin premise that the world is fair.

By the bye, You ladies aren't the only ones who carries secrets. I harbor one myself, a grand, chilling secret.

It will shock you and cause great despair. I'm a ghost, a figment of your imagination.

You really are trapped here hassuscinating drops town, Rosemary. You wish that pungent and a stringent smell where your fingertips.

You wish you were.

Talking to someone right now, unfreezing, I do wish I was talking to someone right now.

Vagina, shoot me with your pistol please.

Oh no, no, I still do plan to rob you.

And that's all we got right now. So that's all we have right now. Thank you, thank you.

That felt good.

Thank you so much for being a part of this work in progress. That's where we've left off. I know that people could be feeling a lot of feelings right now, and this is going to be a little jarring to rush straight into the Q and A, but we really do need your help. So I know that many of you probably have questions. We have time, I think for sixty five questions, so the only thing we're not really taking questions on is the accents. Okay, so I also

Yep, thank you Chelsea and and actors. My name is seven. As you can tell, I am actually a real British person.

Your name is seven. Yes, it is very cool.

It was supposed to be like a Boston. It was all over the place. It did sort of land.

When I felt I was detecting an essence of brit amongst you. Not just Chelsea, seemed to be channeling some brit as well. So I wondered what it was about that great British accent that inspires people in such settings.

Well, I you know, I personally think of theater as British. Anyone else? Yes, yep. In the back you're holding an item in your hand. Okay, that's an item.

A question for Chelsea.

Since you wrote this, did you have any personal experience with the sea or semen?

Hold on your mic is tinny.

She wants you to say, semen?

Oh, okay, semen, good, good, I have so much experience with semen. How deep should I go? How deep did it go? Seriously, only my cervix knows. Girl, do I have experience with the sea. I'm terrified of the sea, and this was an exploration I think for me of the great power and majesty, and I love seamen. Sometimes it's my mic on. Okay, who's next? Yes, over there with the wristband.

Hello, I'm Remy.

What is it Lenny Remy, Remy, Yes, welcome.

I want to know if you're married to the name William or can his name be Richard? Since there's a vagina on stage?

Wow, everyone likes you more than us. I think that what's really interesting is, so this play is set in the nineteen hundreds. Okay, that is one hundred year span, and I didn't commit to one part of that time, but I did do a lot of research, and I think Richard was a common name in that time. So that's an interesting note that I might consider. Okay, So thank you, that's actually really good. Thank you, Yes, great

It feels nice to have people go ahead.

Yes, sir, down in the front, Yes.

Hello, Hello. The three of us felt like this play was written by our mothers, and so we want to know how much time you spent just staring at your son before writing it.

The follow up question to you three, okay, are you triplets?

No?

Are you open to it?

Yes?

I will say this and I'm not. I'm not gonna lie. This is something vulnerable. I actually did cry writing that monologue, like what am I doing? What is happening? Like I actually was shedding tears anyhow, So very astute.

Of the three of you.

What a trio? What a trio? Who's next? Next person gets to past ten?

Yes, I'm Sarah with no age to differentiate?

Can we is my producer?

Here?

Can we cut that.

The island was such a character in this drama? Se me if you could each speak to how you developed your work with the island as your scene partner.

That's a beautiful question from a beautiful young lady. Okay, I open up to my actors. I've said enough already.

She's been in an acting class.

I was too focused on the accent to worry about the island when I was home alone and no one else was speaking in a different way. It was great, And I just would invite you to come to my house and hear this whole thing over again with only me reading all of the parts, so you could hear my really great Boston accent to turn British.

Really do we really do want you all to hear it in a lot of different environments.

I spent I did self Tanner. I did, like you know that, I think the Sun was huge for me and the sun, you know, And and it's interesting, you know when.

When you know, Chelsea first sent me this script and I was like, wow, I am playing her son, and so I actually spent a lot of time with your son. I enrolled in kindergarten for a year and it was amazing And I love you mom.

You know, the island really is the fifth character in this piece, and being a member of this theater troupe for so long and having been in all of Chelsea's plays, I feel like the setting is usually the other character that I'm like.

Relating with the whole time.

So for me, it was just, I don't know, it just kind of came second nature because I just am so familiar with her work and just how she writes and how she does things.

Yeah, we've been into We've been in both.

This is my first one.

So I didn't know that we should have a chair set for the island, but I think next time it'd be a good idea. Even you could write the word island on the chair.

I will yeah, yes, yes, in the back on the aisle, it's you. It's you, honey, Sorry, anyone else? Skin really dry?

High?

Yeah, I'm Deeksha. Nice to meet you. Is your mic on honey bunny? Not that I'm a mixpert bird. Hi, I'm Biksha. So I really cried at William's struggles with losing's virgin So my question is does he ever get laid?

We've talked a lot about this, Like, we devoted a lot of rehearsal to this exact question. So that's really interesting. Something's working, clearly, I'm gonna throw it to the playwright.

I don't want to and I want to deferred all actors. No, uh, I didn't actually know what the question was. Were you saying that you like the topic of virginity.

Does William eventually lose his virginity?

Oh? Does he get off the island? I mean I open that up to you.

She doesn't know how to think. She needs help.

Honey, theater is not answers, it's questions. I can't just print up a little list of answers for you.

Right.

This is what the poetry is in. What are we doing? Yes, hi, hi, Yanka.

I'm curious how long you spent on this script and how many rewrites he did?

It was beautiful. I'm just curious. Interesting. It's a great question. The question was she's miked. The question was how long did I spend on the script? I'm buying time right now. You know a number of days. And at the moment the script started at five pages, I sent it to John. He goes, is this the whole script? Now it's thirteen. As we were reading, there was a moment where I felt like it was dragging a little bit. It was page six. So uh oh, you do the math on how that felt.

It's a work in progress.

It's a work. It's a wip.

Well, and if I made the last draft Margaret, this is just some insight baseball.

But Margaret wasn't a ghost.

Yeah that was she sure wasn't.

That was new today.

I didn't know that was happening.

Yeah, So that was a live moment.

It's like the end of Rosian. It needed it needed that moment of wait a minute, hold on, we thought we knew, but we don't. We can take seventeen hundred more questions. Yes, glasses, blonde hair, looking around wildly. It's you, Hi, with so much left unknown? Are you someone who subscribes to the belief that being shipped on by a bird is good luck or bad luck?

Oh, this is a really good question. Yeah, she's we gotta go home.

Wow, Yeah, I forgot that that does mean something. I actually did forget that. That's really adds.

A layer.

Before in one of the drafts, you just had a bunch of four leaf clovers being thrown at.

Me, and I again didn't realize they had any significance. So yeah, so that's weird. Yeah, Yeah, a lot of good ideas here for rewrites. Yeah.

I'm Lindsay and I'm wondering, based on the title of your character, if you're considering consulting with Star and Stage of Screen and no Star of Stage and Screen Marley Mattlin to go deeper into your character.

It's funny because no, that was just a literative name that came to me and again didn't think about it having to do with anyone. So that's again should I change it? I don't know. Does it add something? We're still figuring it out, you know, And that's what playwrights Horizons does. It kind of fosters this and Jesse Fox, Yes, down front you Mike's coming in flying It.

I mean, if for the theme of ghosts, do you have any experiences with the ghosts that inspired you to write that element.

I have stayed in a couple haunted hotels on the road. I don't know where to go with this because, in genuine truth, I didn't used to believe in ghosts, and now I.

Do because of a specific event.

I heard voices. Okay, I stayed at I stayed at the hotel. I felt very creeped out in that hotel. I googled it the name of the hotel. First thing that popped up haunted.

Was this in Winnipeg, Canada.

No, they got one.

Two guys.

I forget where it was. I could find it. I could figure it out anyway. It said something about voices someone heard. I don't know. I just it just was. I feel like I've already said too much.

What did the voices say, I want to know what they said to you.

I can't remember. It was something like kill the audience. Oh no, I don't know. It's like a kid or something. I really don't remember. And now I feel I feel like one of those people that's like saying lies. But I'm not. I just can't really remember. Okay, yes, you and yeah, the one that looks uncertain if it's you, Hi, I'm Hillary.

I was wondering if Vagina's fascination with the butt was born of like a fear that the audience would be unfamiliar with such an area, or if that was a more of like telling about her character.

I mean, I don't want to take any words. No place is I didn't write it, but as a reformer who really needed to like get inside of it, I felt as though butts are funny, and the more you talk about and describe them and then end with the description of the whole, it just was.

It was just funny.

And did you ever think did anyone I'm just curious, did anyone make the connection between two butt cheeks two lighthouses?

Oh?

I did? I definitely did.

Give yourself a hand if you did. Yes, In the vacation shirt.

I have a two part question.

So part one is I'm curious if you are considering in the future maybe an act where we see what drove your character off the island, maybe some backstory. Curious about that? And part two for everyone, after such traumatic explorations of the sea, what has it been like for each of you waiting back into waters in real life?

I haven't taken a bath in three days.

Uh?

What drove me off the island?

Do you mean off the mainland?

Oh?

Off to the island. What drove you to the island?

You mean? I mean it was the husband who was a bad man.

If you were a bad man husband, he was asleep.

Listening pregnant, you know, on an island alone. Yeah, yes, you with the two fingers up. Yeah, let's do MIC's flying in a little slower if we can't, just because.

Sorry, good for podcasts.

My question is a legit logistical question.

Is the boat the sulcher Margaret's bow also a ghost?

Yes, I'm a ghost. My boat's a ghost.

Are you really a ghost in real life?

Me?

Yeah?

Yes, I knew it.

Very intuitive? You're intuitive. Yeah, we're getting a repeat question. That's what we like here.

I just I want to revisit the Oedipus complex. Is it possible that your character's reason for leaving was your inability to quench that thirst?

Is this how you feel about your mom?

This is the guy who asked about his earlier This is the guy who asked.

My gosh, careful, pure panels. Wait, can't be I'm gay.

I'm gay, so he can't, So you can't.

But also like, I'm not, but I wouldn't fuck my mom.

Like it's uh, I'm just curious.

Okay, it's a great question.

It's like in the.

Literature, Let's sit with this. Let's sit with this everyone. How's everyone feeling? Because when there's that little rumble in the room, something's happening. There's some alchemy happening. And this young man has given us two opportunities to grow and change, and there's something very special about that. Take it, yes in the back.

Hello, Chelsea, it's seven again.

Oh man, things are really devolving fast. Seven.

I'm putting my therapist's sat on in Europe. I'm a qualified therapist and my name is seven Graham. You can google me.

I prefer we cut that marking that for a cut.

I was gonna mark that I was actually gonna remote remark on the ipul complex as well, because that would seem to be an obvious This is Mike broken.

I can't hear, Like all I hear is consonants. WHOA.

Okay, I was. I was saying that that the Oedipus complex seems like an obvious reason why you would be exploring the mother's son relationship on an island. You have a son, so that would suggest that you're exploring the complex.

This is like, this is like, Bin, I feel like you're inside my chest cavity somehow. Your voice also, it's like when you're talking, it makes me feel like it's wire brushes being stemmed on, like something metal. Just and I'm like sort of just mesmeriz I feel like I'm about to start flying and just go straight into your soul and I disappear. Well, what was the question?

Are you open to sitting with the possibility that you are exploring the complex with your son in this plane?

Okay?

That was That was one thing I just wanted you to take away ponder. The second thing is I am actually transmasculine, non binary and an actor as well as being stock.

Okay, then I take back everything I said about your voice. I take it back your transferred.

No.

I was going to say, if you would like William slash Richard to explore his six suanity. Would you be open to a British trans masculine person coming into this and pegging him because he's gorgeous? And what pegging you?

Oh?

I think we're all very open to that.

Open yeah, yeah, in short, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we open all the doors?

Yeah?

Yeah, one and then two right in front of him. Okay, Hi, Chelsea, I'm Sergio.

Hi.

The way you've written this, we can really feel a backstory for Vagina and your son, for the actors.

I was wondering what kind of backstory did you imagine when you came into the role.

What did you design?

I just spent a lot of time thinking about my own Vagina, but I kind of always do that, so I don't know if that's.

I'm gonna think about that. I'm gonna think about that.

Oh no, I am asked.

I'm actually asking this question on behalf of my fits. I thought that was Zosha's voice because I was waiting for her to answer. I got so confused.

He didn't ask about me what he didn't ask about my kid?

Well, okay, well, maybe your backstory wasn't clear. I mean that right.

Well, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to create a situation.

No, it's fine, he just didn't ask about mine.

So well, i'd like to hear, Okay, were you.

Also thinking about my vagina? Sure for your backstory.

My backstory was really deep, but I'll share it with the people who want to hear.

Oh no, oh, you've made her mad, you've upsetter?

Well, how did you die? How are you a ghost? How did you die?

Wait a minute before we're done. We're done. We were we were moving on to the girl in front of you. Then I thought Zosh didn't have her turn, and then it was just mayhem. Okay, we're going to come back to Yes, you prepare yourself. This is from my fifteen year old son, and that's ironic because John's character is fifteen.

Hy he wants to know.

I know.

But Jina Jenkins was planning on banging Margaret before she revealed that she was a ghost.

Does that plan in the next act still stand? Okay? I have to ask some follow up questions.

Yes, but you on a zoom?

Where is your son, Oh, okay, Hi, get up engaging. I am not engaging. Okay, well, oh okay, you don't have to speak, but only put a thumbs up if you did in fact write that question.

Okay, it's a great question.

Okay, Now I have to admit I don't remember what it was, but probably the answer is yes. If you think about how we've been trending, does anyone remember it?

It was so great.

Basically, I think there's actually a lot that I'm hearing about. You know, people are wanting to know what happens next, and I think that's a really great sign. Oh yeah, but I think specifically what happens next sexually?

Right?

Who gets banged? And do you bang a ghost? Is this about ghost banging? I too got lost halfway through the question. I got really excited. I was picturing you guys on like zoom you watching, and then it was great that you're here, and it's it's awesome.

How like mortified you are is the best part of the whole thing.

We love you? Oh yeah, don't I don't you want to?

Yeah?

No?

Do you want to come sit up here?

It's like, no, I only want to type five page questions in total, secrecy. Hm, can't remember what I was gonna say. Okay, uh we oh yeah, we have five minutes long.

Are you he's back for round three?

Oh no, no, nope, we got to take a new person. New person go. If we have time left, we'll come back to you. Sir, Hi, my name is Aubrey.

The beginning part of the I guess the play is uh, your character's pregnant and escapes a bad situation.

Sure keeps to an island. Are you where?

That's kind of the plot of movie Practical Magic?

Oh Chelsea, Oh Chelsea.

Do you see that suit from Nicole Kimminan and Sandra Bullock? Do you see that as a plus or is it an area of concern? It's an area of concern. Of concern. Well, maybe I could redo a rewrite where she stole him as a baby. That kind of motivates her fleeing to the island nicely.

It would also really allow for the the coitus possibility maybe a little bit more palatable for people.

Oh God, I don't know about being.

I don't either. I don't know that.

I really love that because then they could have sex just based on a kind of edible urge, and.

Then sort of ties this whole thing age.

I'm still fifteen, and she's like, sixty eight. You'll have to she said, fifteen years ago, I was pregnant with you on this island. Hello.

I didn't read anything other than my parts.

That was a very stately fifteen on my part.

One thing I like to do when I get a roll is just go through and highlight facts about my character. Make a little list. Yes, can we get more ghosts?

What's the second lighthouse?

Maybe haunted? Right now you're thinking like you're getting like that one with all the women the ensemble Juliette lewis a surprise ghost yellow jackets. All ghosts turn it into yellow jackets. Is that what you're kind of saying? Better? Though?

Better?

Better? Okay, yeah, thank you. I was under the impression this was a musical.

Is that a possibility in the future or.

I felt so much anngst when you said that, because I whatever format I grabbed off a final draft did say music.

I too got scared. I too got scared. I was like, oh no, I didn't agree to that, and I.

Kept trying to delete it from the header, and so this gave me like a moment of panic, just like when someone said this was a movie plot that already existed. It reminded me of that, almost the ghost of that question. To keep on the ghost theme, Yes, banana clip, this is a question for everyone at the tableable food test.

Rosemary Spriggs, that's really good.

I forget is it a yes no binary on the food test?

You have to say good or bad and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong?

Oh right, right, right, okay, good.

Everyone has to do it, though, because otherwise it would be a spoiler.

I don't like saying yes or no. I'm very locky the point. But there's.

Bad.

We know well, we know that she made that one thing at a time.

Good, good, good.

I'm gonna go with.

Good, although it could be overpowering and you don't want to, you know, do use too much of it or whatever?

You're all right, it's good, god, good. I press my.

Wedding.

All right, I'm sweating too. Oh we have fifty six seconds. We take fifty four questions. Go oh yeah, probably there he goes whoa. Okay.

My question was I was wondering, what's your writing process like other than you know, appliediarizing from practical magic?

What else do you do. I'm an aspiring writer. Well, good luck with the networking you've just done.

I was trying to be you'll never write a play in this town.

My writing process, I google, I steal, I google, I steal. Apparently, No, I think the devil's in the details. Okay, there's a lot of details in here that if you listen to this as a podcast you can look them up. They're true. I read about Thatcher Island. There's actually I don't want to spoil this because I need to get it and I don't want you guys to get it first. There's merch for Thatcher Island. There's a dun I'm shirt with two lighthouses that says Thatcher.

Island Ann's Eyes. Is that real?

Yeah? Real nickname? Thatcher's whoa. Okay, there's even a crazy story ten seconds left there was a mafia guy that was turned and was FBI informant, and they housed him on the island and somehow I didn't make the plan about that.

The end, Chelsea, everybody the player, right,