A ROIS BY ANY OTHER NAME

Do.

My eyebrows have like a plum cast to them because I used eyeshadow that I thought was brown, but I now I'm looking and I think it might have been purple.

This has happened a tiny bit, but I it.

Yeah, so that editorial makeup.

That you could start a trend with that, I'm always.

Trying to do editorial makeup. No, I don't know. I kind of started resenting, like doing full hair and makeup to do a podcast. So now I'm just trying to find different hacks for not doing that.

Yeah, I try, and I keep forgetting the people film podcasts and such as I showing people are like, oh, I know you need to go and everyone know who you are.

It like cuts both ways, because having video is fun, you know, but it's also just like it was like a safe place to just talk and look like shit, just show up in your pajamas.

Yeah.

So that's why I'm trying to sometimes just not care because I feel like, as long as the light is good, you're gonna be okay.

Sure you've got those you've got a good jewel. That for me, it's an absolute not that camera might be all right. The rest I don't grid.

I mean, I I can.

You've got great bones. You've got great bones, great bones. You've got great great bones, great bones. You got great great bones, great bones. You've got great, great bones.

Great bones.

There's the thing. I'm a straight lady, but I mean, I'm into like noticing when people got good bones.

Wow.

I don't know that I count myself in that number, but.

Oh, you've got good bones, lady, I know good bones.

It's starting to get scarier. Oh my god, I just started writing death. I usually do hearts.

This is crazy.

What does it mean?

Oh no, that's really bones.

It's talk about bones. Okay, So here's the thing I've been talking. First of all, I like to talk you up to anyone who will listen. Because so you had a show called game Face.

Yeah.

I don't even remember who told me about it now, but so I loved this show. I watched it and I was like, this person is so fucking funny.

You're so kind, and I think you just found it in pandemic you run out things to watch.

You know who it was, I'm going to my earliest text told them, Oh no, that's me telling ye. I thought it was Kate Berlant telling me. But it was me telling her to watch it. But okay, so wait, no, so that I don't know who told me.

I think he found it. I think it was locked down and you were flicking. I think a lot of people found it in America when they run out of absolutely everything.

Really, I know, I feel like someone had to have told me. But anyway, I can't find it. But the real thing is, I was like, this is so funny female led obviously because it's you, and I was just like, you know, I just have started like getting like I need to like reach out to people that I think are super funny, particularly women, because there's so few of us. No, I'm just.

Yeah, there's us and no one else.

Closed door. And but anyway, I just love the show. No. Here is the thing. So I'm really bad at pronouncing names, and every time I tell someone about it, I'm like, this, this girl is so funny. Her name, I don't know how to say it. And I've just been giving like a lecture about how talented you are, and I'm like, it's Rashine.

Is it?

Rashine KANARTI ro Sheen like row your boat, you row your boat, and Charlie Sheen so roche rochan Connity like comedy and not as a but just because it's not Kanti.

It's.

So I'm putting in the emphasism. I'm drying myself a phonetic because if I ever say it again, I'm gonna have to look at this so and what kind of name is that?

Irish Irish name, Irish parents. And then my middle name makes it sound even crazy because it's Roche Marcella Connity so seller, which is the name of the character in game Face. But that name sums up a lot about like there's no cohesion with that. There were just two people arguing their way into an end. Yeah, that doesn't sound like any sort of like what's the big picture with its name? Roche Marcella Connity, no r in it? So con at ty conity.

Yes, anyway, you're incredible.

You were so kind. You sent me a lovely message and it made my day. Lockdown was so depressing, and I you know, and you don't you make a show and like it was on in the States, but like a few people saw it and then you know, the benefit of the pandemic for me was that people run out of stuff to watch and then people like it

Well, the funny thing is, so I used to do I used to do some shows with Michelle Collins, who was my friend in New York, and I saw she was hot on she was hot on your tail, hot in pursuit. We were both chasing after you. I don't know if she told you this, but me and Michelle did a show at the Apple Store in New York and so actually now so conceivable, Like can you imagine

But you're both brilliant and funny. So I was very listen. I'm very flatted. Michelle also had run out of things to watch during lockdown, and it was people just hitting and dry, so I think I got the benefit of like hungry shoppers.

I don't think you're under selling it because I think there's always a dearth of female lead comedy, I think in the US, and for some reason there's much more of it in the UK.

It seems we went through it. I think we've always we went through a little like a patch, and it feels like I hope it continues because they sort of, you know what they do. They sort of do a thing and they go we've made a point, we've commissioned a bunch of roomin now, and now we need to go back to you know. But yeah, and so there was a lot of there was just a really lot of really good shows from women. America always has so many great comedians and writers and stuff, and and uh.

Yeah, but you know, like there was just so many funny people and so many funny movies and just having grown up watching like Mike Myers and Jim Carrey and like you know, Chris Farley and all these movies. And now it's just not like that anymore. So I have to seek it out.

Yeah, same because I I, I mean, it sounds ridiculous. I love laughing, but I love it like I love laughing too, but like you have to really like it's like a flavor you need and you know it's not hitting it and when you find it's so good in a film or movie or show.

You know, walk me through your journey to game Face. I don't know your history, what was what was your start? How did you wind up doing comedy period? And how did you go what brought you to the point of having your own show?

I wasn't I did. I did film at UNI, and I didn't finish what UNI Middlesex University in England. But I loved that. I really love that. But for family stuff was going on and I sort of had to leave. I didn't have to, but it was just not a great time and I was a bit lost afterwards. I was a bit like. I also had a weird thing when I was I thought, do I want to perform? I always had a disdain for people who wanted to perform.

It's a school level. Yeah.

But then I it was so funny because I went to a pizza restaurant in Croaccha and called Pizza Bella with my friend Danielle. One person said to me. Only one person said you should do stand up, so it was no one else had ever said.

Okay, now through the accent is that I've been describing, I'm like, I'm trying to understand the accent and sometimes I'm squinting, like there's going to be subtitles emerging, but they just never appear. Okay, Crouch and I was like thinking about Crouch and I'm like, never you've brought up crouchend a bunch and I'm like, I don't really know that neighborhood.

Oh, it's in North London. It's near Highgate, it's near Finsbury Park. Stephen King's got a book about called crouch End, where it's like the center of Hell. But it's actually nicer than that. It's just got some you know, some comedians pottering around.

I went from that to Hell.

Listen, comics can be a lot. Yeah. But so there is restaurant there and my friend Dan I was like, well, we do my life, you know. And then my friend Dan was like, you should do stand up.

So you went. You said something about pizza though.

Restaurant called Pizza Bella and it's not there anymore.

And that had an open mic.

No, that was just that was just the only time the thought had come into my head was that one conversation. And there is a club in crouch End downstairs at the King's Head, oldest comedy club in London, and we went down on what you know, drunk and fearless because I wasn't my dream. So I was like, I'd like to put my name down and then not that night, you know, so get.

Six later d Yeah, oh god, that's the worst because you have the bravery to do it and then they call you six weeks later, year up.

Pretty much. I was like, hello, hello, year up, Hello.

Year up first because you have the bravery to do it, and then.

Tell you hello, tell you hello, dear up, Hello, here up hello, tear up hello, hello, Hello, hello hello.

You know.

And then I went and I remember thinking, well it was it will be as a funny story. And I bought friends and I had drinks before I went on things a bringer like you had to bring did we have that in England?

Yeah, which that's that's smart.

Yeah.

But I brought just some friends, you know with come watch me do this stupid thing and and it's and I went on stage and like I got a big laugh immediately it mattered, like I was so I was like immediately I was like this thing that was like, look at what I'm doing. I'm so crazy. I was like it was like I always say, like falling in love with a terrible man.

Yes, the same thing, do you Yeah, I said, doing stand up is like having a jealous boyfriend, like they want all your time every single night, holidays, weekends, like it just feels too are consuming, you.

Know, that's it. It's intoxicate and you want and you wanted to give you something. So I sort of came off and I was I was sort of sheltered. Was like that was you know, I got a couple of laughs or whatever.

You know, my first set was terrible, really cool that you did well, but I always did.

I though sounds like it, but like if I could watch it now, like did I or was I just like I'm on stage?

Do you remember any of your jokes?

I did a terrible bit about people who call their dogs like human names, and I was trying to riff yeah, really bad. Yeah, just saying things like hi, what's your name? Of being so impressed myself, and someone was like John, I was like right, but not ironically, like just thinking I was doing that. What comics do you.

Probably were though, I would guess.

I think it was probably shocking, but I wasn't. It wasn't I didn't have the judgment. I wasn't expecting it to be good or yeah. So the next next gig was shocking, So then I wanted it to be good and I wanted to be a comic, and so the second gig was, you know, baptism of fire. That was what I felt like everyone's first gig was. My first one was just kind of like.

Well, now, baptism of fire. That sounds like a cool thing, but I'm not religious, you know.

It felt like that horrible. But I was comedy illiterate, so I thought there was like the people on TV and the people in this room. So I was like, well, I guess they need me. These people are great, Like there's not that many good open spots, but I didn't realize there was a whole circuit of people who were really good who aren't famous.

Yeah, but there's also a whole circuit of people are really bad open mics and stuff. Yeah, yeah, I remember that, just watching the most awful people, like I mean, and I'm sure we were all awful too, but just like that is one thing I still don't like when you have when you go to do a set and someone's like, yeah, I get here at eight o'clock and then you're not on until like ten or something. I'm just like, oh my god, this is so inefficient. I could have been

Get to watch something. You just never know what you're gonna get to see. You get to watch the rest stuff. And then sometimes, especially if you're on like the same gigging, it becomes like you're doing mouthing someone else's set. When you go this is like you've seen it too much. Yeah, we're on stage to watch again.

But that's that's what I always miss. Actually, once I had more success, it's like it's so fun the open mics because it's so communal. You're with your friends all the time. You know each other's jokes like oh you could add this digg you know or whatever. But then when you start headlining and touring around by yourself, it's kind of like you kind of that camaraderie is well.

Yeah, it's a lot more isolating for sure. When you could you know, going out for a drink after and sort of and having it dying in front of your friends, having a bad gig in front of your friends, there's this sort of you know, it doesn't feels bad because I know you're all right, but there's no one there to sort of if you have a bad gig in just in front of an audience and there's not a friend, like you.

Can just go home and silence. You're silently like unpacking your tooth, thrashing your hotel room. Yeah, that's not a good.

Feeling, sitting on the end of the bed looking at a room service thinking I don't deserve dinner.

Yeah, it's even weird. Like even if you have a good set, it's weird going back to your hotel room by yourself after.

It's like, yeah, that's why I can't send hotels on holiday on vacation. I just associate them with work.

You famously sleep on the street when you go on vacation for that reason.

I like the outside Yeah, I say, yeah, weird.

So okay, So you did stand up and then you started doing it a lot after you.

Doing it a lot, but I wasn't like, I like, I was coming illiterate. So I remember coming down to downstairs at the King's Head and Peter Graham saying to me, why do you keep changing your set? Why don't you polish what you've got?

Like?

And I was like, am I allowed to do it again. He was like, yeah, that's what we'll do. I didn't get He was like, you're just doing new and it's getting worse. It was like this stuff was all right, like tidy it up, fix it, you know.

But maybe you were right. You never know, maybe you know, like there is a lot of boring people who do the same shit all the time.

Yeah, I don't know, but the reas it like that middle ground. And then so I did stand up and you know, kind of loved it, hated it all of it, but it was a new I knew I was. I was like, oh this is and I found my tribe. And then in twenty ten I did a solo show in Edinburgh called Hero Warrior, Fireman Liar.

What was that about.

I just moved home after a breakup and I was broke and I was temping and h So the comedy was going really well. My aunt was a dinner lady still at my old school, so I don't know she'd got the wrong end of the stick that I was doing well. But I got an invite from my school to come back and give a speech to the school leavers like about how my comedy career and how successful I was, and so I just had this sort of

Did you do like sixty shows of it? Or it seems so rigorous when people go to Edinburgh.

Yeah, you do a show, so you previewed it for quite a while. It was the show wasn't finished on the train on the way up. I'm not great with deadlines.

You're like, and that's all I've got for now at the thirty minute's like forty four.

Like I literally we like to speak slower. I need to speak slower.

Pregnant pauses like thirteen pregnant passes.

But I do talk so fast that I feel like I can do two hours in an hour. So I was like, well, that's.

The thing is people actually need to understand, yes, sir, And you have to put a metronome going so that you can metronome. You know, it keeps time.

I don't need to slow down.

That's for the American audiences.

And then I there's a awards. But it did help me. I got the Newcomer Award up there happened every time someone doesn't boast about anything, especially when it's fourteen. I want an anyone wait.

To faces in nineteen but I won the Newcomer and it just meant I could go full time in my job.

It meant I could get headline spots and I could.

Earn some money. Yeah, so turning point.

And but you know there's I saw shows that were better than Mark, you know, like it's just the nature of the water, not real. But they helped me. I benefited from that roll of the the Dice that year, so I was able to go full time. Wrote some stuff, did some bits and bobs that tell you. I was in a Man Down to my friend Greg Davies, who's the Taskmaster, which is sort of coming over here. He'll be so happy you've got a clap. I was in

Yeah, any different kind of topics there are just still about how your life was going. I did five.

Lower still. The next one was called I hate the title. I was drinking shows in Australia.

Like.

The second show is called Destiny's Dickhead. Okay, terrible, and I was warned off it. And then the third one was called Life Hunter and that was about looking for happiness. That was that was That was an all right show. The second Destiny's Dickhead was a bit all over the place. And then I wrote a pilot for for Channel four and then they didn't give me a note, and I remember thinking this isn't good. Yeah, and then my age it was like the showbiz no, and I was like, they paid me to write it.

Not a single note. Well, maybe that's like not even on you. Maybe they just didn't have the budget or something. That sounds a little too suspect.

Yeah, And then they got me to make blaps, which are online content, which were just sort of like three minutes each. But because they were like cheap, you you were sort of left to do you.

Know, short short yea, yeah, that was a heyday too. The internet, like early Internet, you could get paid to make.

Sure it's it's a great way to do, especially like you know, to taste it to that stuff. And then and then they called me in and they're like, oh, we really like the Blacks were not putting them out, and I like, oh, god, we read your script, so we want you to combine the blaps and the script. And then we made a pilot for game Face that went out in twenty fourteen. What it was blaps, that was the online content what they called them Channel four blaps.

Yeah, but oh they called it that. Yeah, that wasn't your name.

No, no, no, they're called it's like what they called them. And then I made the pilot the pilot, and then they said they're putting the pilot out on television, which is a bad sign if you haven't got serious commissioned.

It was like, all right, what they just show the random pilot to see if like the Greek amphitheater likes it or not.

It just meant it wasn't going It wasn't going to be commissioned, is what I felt like. I was like, Oh, they're putting it out.

Okay, that's interesting because I would be like, oh they're putting it out.

No, everyone was like, oh, they're putting it out like it's just like and then they put it out and then it done. Really work, so they put it on after I don't know, a Ricky's show. Ricky Jervase had a show Derek or something, and then they put it on off that and then Ricky people tweeted about it in a way that I think they weren't like just a

It's crazy. Yeah, it's an annoying that you'll just never know really what happened, Like why did they come back two years later?

I think there was just probably like I think they had loads of you know, a Channel fourre we has loads of shows that they're trying to commission, and you know and kind of and some people like it, some people don't, and you know, you just don't like I There was no like they were really supportive and kind, but it was when they Yeah, it was just a

Okay, so now you're you're writing again.

Writing again. I'm thinking about going back into stand up. When I'm writing stand up, I haven't done any what's the last time you could stand to stand up? After pandemic?

Yeah, after pandemics. Let's see, probably November twenty twenty three.

That's not that long. Yeah, I mean it's long if you would gigging every night. But you just made a movie. Yeah, Like we were just doing which I'm so excited.

About October November, September. I guess I was doing a bit back then. Man, I can't even tell you. I just so I did this school campion trip for my son, and I'm like, I don't know, I just feel like it's been such a busy time. Like as I'm sitting here, I just keep thinking and this has nothing.

To do with you, but you never have a sound effect for this.

I keep thinking, I think I do hold on. I keep thinking like I just want to lay down. All I want to do is lay down. Like here's the same.

I can't believe, like there's nothing personal for this. You make me real sleeping, nothing personal.

But as you're talking, this is why I'm here.

Nothing your life story. Your life story is it's oral in the background.

You're here, like and then my eighth Edinburgh show.

I hate my because I always say I need to work out way to make mine like one, like I need to just make up and think about and then like there's no I don't have a big but that's.

I mean, it is a it's it is always like this funny thing because like I feel like once you have some success and then like you always have someone who's like, hey, can you just give me like a immediate shortcut to where you are? You know, but like it's a lot of work what you did doing three Edinburgh shows and like you know, a pilot and all that.

I feel like and not like you know, I wasn't a nurse or anything, but sometimes you know, and you go, how did I do three gigs a day and do this?

It's running around and it will be heartbroken and this and that and then.

And then I need to make it funny, you know, sort of wild.

No, it's crazy. I'm already I already have one foot in the casket. All right, Well, here's the thing. I I got a lion bar. We actually went to lunch at this place that was really good. Actually, some places in la for some reason have tons of like imported chocolates, so lion bars we don't have any. Whoa. This was when I went to a semester in Surrey.

Do you know this in England?

Yes, I went to Royal Holloway and for a semester and chocolate. No, I'm just holding this up while I tell you that brief bit of history, and your head is.

Like a chocolate samlio I was a chocolate major at the Royal Holloway University of London.

No, but I went there, and so that's where I tried to lie in bar so I got one. I was going to have some. Do you like them or no?

I do, but I'm not mad. I had a kit cat here yesterday and that was as Nestle is it kit kat And I don't like the chocolate here. But this is going to be important. I'll tell you if it's important. I can tell from the smell. That's how that's how much chocolate I ate.

Do you think this is not that's real?

Yeah, that is kosher, kosher chocolate. Because doesn't yours have like the same ingredient as that.

Vomit our traveler, it does taste like it.

There's a thing on QI So I'm not making it up to you. As a big, big show in England panel show Sandy Tots, big hosts, and there was I'm going to get this wrong, but there was some ingredient because of the way the dairy was transported or the chocolate was That is a thing that is in vomit. That's why it does taste a vomit.

Raschene is thinking of butteric acid.

But the rest of the food I'm a big fan of. Let me not. I am not here to slag of for American cuisine. The rest of the food is top draw.

What's your favorite American thing that I like?

Mexican food is incredible. Salad. Your salads are on. There's nowhere in the world like for salads like California, like the range and the effort. You know, everywhere else is just sort of like just take some leaves and you know, this.

Was so good. I actually, again, in my own.

World, you're talking my salad chat not doing it for you.

As you're chargging. I'm literally just chewing this chocolate with the crunchy Caramelli center and I'm going loveline, Okay, But no, you are touching on something that's a passion of mine, which is salads and trying to figure out the good salads in la Oh the good.

My friend told me the other day. One of my best friends I facetimed on my birthday and she said, I said, what you've been up to? She said, I've been on such an incredible journey with salads, Oh my god, which was my favorite sentence. I had a cop salad yesterday. I've had a Chinese chicken salad in Jones on third I've.

Had It's very sweet, lots of like crisps things in it.

This is this is ideal for me. Yeah, if it's.

Because everyone's like, that's salad, that salad, then I get it and I'm like, this is I don't even know if it's technically a salad. It just feels like you should be ashamed of your salad. It's literally dessert and curbs. It's like sweet sweet, Everyone's gonna hate me, by the way for saying this. It's like one of the most beloved salads in La.

But and the sprout salad, the ko salad with the Jones.

Yeah, I haven't had that.

Oh I got I get the three of them, so I get the sprout one. And I went like when I like something, I get a bit like again like every day, and then people it was like, yeah.

If I love something, Like there's a carbonara here, that's one of my favorite foods, and I I have to actually hold myself back from ordering it, like, oh, I really want carbonara, and I'm trying to be like, I got it, Like how much is reasonable to eat carbonara? As as a claggy A claggy dish a person with high cholesterol claggy, that's a clagge blah blah. What does that mean that I mean it means like what it sounds.

Like a clugg a dish. It feels like that when you talk after you're gonna be.

No, Oh my god, that sounds like a bad carbonar. You're making it like custardy.

That's what carbonara, even on its best day. An absolute clag.

Oh my god, this is an absolute maybe of food. Talk on the pot. It's so good, but I like, I have to hold myself. Can I eat this once a month? Is that reasonable? I mean it's bacon, an egg, It's not like the end of the world. It's not big, and it's panchetta for those listening.

Isn't there loads of cream in it as well?

Though there's supposed to be. That's the thing.

Just taste like that.

No people do add cream.

But that's why I have the clag. Yeah. I'm not a big white sauce fan. I like a spicy, spicy tomato sauce arabiata. That's my sort of go to. But I like a Italian I like it, or like just to like an oil.

What's your biggest indulgence that you have to hold yourself back from food?

Ought is a big one for food, But like all of the foods, on any given day, I can get a little bit what would my what's.

Your favorite dish in the world, sweet or savory?

My favorite dish in the world. You like, I'm sweating because I'm thinking Indian because I've said it on podcasts before and I'm trying to repeat myself. But there's an Indian food is my chicken lissuni. But you can't the thing about it does SATs you.

It does. I don't know that preparation.

It's like a red sauce, but it's a There's one restaurant in London called the Tiffin Tin, and I can't speak highly enough about it. And I I ten minutes to sound about this years and years ago, about how when I thought you, whatever your favorite food is, imagine you had it for a long long time and then all of a sudden someone tops it. That's what they did with chicken lisuni. And so I love it so much, but it sates me. So I don't go on like

Keeps screaming, give me more. I don't think what am I like that with? I think French fries are really hard for me to stop at I start. It's hard also because I'm distracted right now. Yeah, we'll take calls. I'm distracted right now because my lips from being in the desert for a couple of nights, I feel like and I forgot to bring like any kind of makeup

I'm really good?

How are you?

I'm good. I'm here with Rosen Marcella conny, ah.

Funny.

You ever think about how to phonetically spell things and if you're misspelling the phonetic spelling. Oh yeah, I'm here with rasheet, Rosheen, Marcella Kanty participate If I'm done, I finally finish it, and then it's just a it's like so funny. Like people over the years be like you should host a talk show. It's like, can you imagine, like this is how I'm saying one name, like the idea of a constant influx of names and I don't know how to say any of them or remember what anyone's projects are.

Half the show would go by and you'd still be like, I think it's an R.

So color are you in the LA Area?

No, I'm in New York.

I love New York for the hang up there, I would never.

I love New York.

I think if we have a topic, we really don't actually what.

Should I eat for dinner tonight? I'm really like kind of about a law.

Oh what's the weather?

Like?

That's a funny follower.

It's a little chili, but it's pretty nice.

Okay, that's a that's a that's a perfect food choice. You can't just eat anything in any temperature, Chelsea.

That's true.

Yeah, so you need to go. But if you've got that mid sort of day that opens up everything, you can eat whatever you want.

You can go full roast dinner. You could go, but you're you're in New York. They don't really do a roast dinner in New York. Yeah, that's a bit regional. Why don't you go get street meat off a food cart and get the street get why it's it's red sauce and the diarrhea for a week. It's kind of worth it. The whole shebang. Look white sauce plus red sauce. It was brown sauce, you know what I mean. It is so good.

Though.

When I was just in New York, I was like doing press for my movie and I wanted street meat so bad. I used to get that and it's so cheap, and you get so much rice and so much meat, and then you just slather it in the white sauce, little dabs of that spicy, spicy, hot red sauce, and always followed by like a week of sickness. And I was trying to calculate is it worth it or not. There was one I used to go to that was like up by thirty Rock and it had a long

It's just a rocker to that specific truck.

Obviously the truck. Why do I care if you rock?

I mean, there's so many trucks.

I don't know.

That is like the kind of question my mom would have, And I'm like, come on, man, like figure out the topics. Its like I she tries to make conversation.

By the way of your movie, I watched it very recently and I left my ass off.

This is some.

How do I know you're not pandering to my broken spin? I'm just kidding.

Watched it and he loved it.

That's great. Funny friends, listen, thanks everyone, I know it is. It's very nice that you watch it. I do appreciate that.

So what do you do? So the food thing is the main thing? And what else is happening?

My chihuahua is really trying to get my attention right now. She's like trying to get me to play with her, and she's not happy that I'm on the phone.

Okay, we'll let you go. Thank you for calling me. Okay, I just we have to we have to end that one. Sometimes I gotta just like keep the pace going. But look like, what's crazy is right now no one's calling and I'm kind of like, wait, maybe I should have kept that going.

Is she going?

Yeah? I did hang up. The funny thing though, is actually like this is already a slow pace, Like usually there'd be calls going. I think I've been hanging up on people so fast that they're getting discouraged. Hello Hello, oh god, I'm watching someone work out on Instagram the worst place. Hello, hello, Hi?

Hi?

Do you part your workout videos to Instagram?

No?

And I hate that, And I know I I know some like you know people who do that, and it's always a weird way to know someone.

It is. It's like I don't need to be like I also just think, how does anyone justify filming their workout and posting it? It's like to motivate me I have to do It's like, no, I don't know.

It's never like it's never impressive, you know, like I don't know anyone who's like super duper strong. So it's always just like some guy I know, like flapping our big rope around, and it's like, I don't you know who is?

Therefore, yeah, exactly what am I supposed to do with this, sir?

I just you ever flapped one of those big ropes around?

I did, actually, dirty dog?

No, No, no, I just I've never I've never done it. I've never actually even seen one of those ropes other than on people's Instagram videos.

Yeah, I did actually do that. Actually I would rather do that again than what I did today, I'll tell you that much. Let me tell you doing circuits is so boring. Yeah, with a circuit like you do like twelve reps of one thing, then twelve reps of oh, thing B, then twelve reps of thing C. Then you go back and go back to A and do all those twelve reps again, and you do it three times.

Yeah.

I was literally laughing today thinking like if I don't have a better playlist, I'm not doing this, Like I need a good playlist or I just can't. It's so fucking boring.

Yeah.

Yeah, I feel the same way. I try to get into running just because I was like, well I don't think I can like go lift weights like that just seems so boring to me. And so I tried running and then I hurt my knee and so now I'm but running.

I mean all due respect, it's like the most boring thing you could do as.

You're like going somewhere, you know, like I can like, you know, I feel like I could like run somewhere and be somewhere else rather than just did some What's annoying about bounds.

Are like what's annoying about runners to me is that they actually don't run anywhere for purpose. Like you'll be like, oh, do you want to walk to get food or like, oh no, I already ran eighty miles this morning. It's like, why don't you run to get food?

I had a row with a jog the other day. You ran, I had a row with a jogger.

Oh ah, row?

Yeah, what happened? It was dark and he just like pounded up behind me, and I just yeah, And then I just tutted a gentle tut what's that?

And then I was pretty minstrual. Yeah, and he has a safe place.

For that, and he's count on money. And he said, and he shouted out, what are you tutting for? And I said, he ran up behind a woman in the dark, and he went, I'm running and I was on my road with my neighbors, and I said, fuck off. Yeah, And then I felt full of shame. I was like I need to get my ship together.

And then you look into the window just.

It's insane, just my house. I'm bad with a jogger.

I feel like I've like spent so much time in England and stuff, but I've never heard tutting tu. Yeah, you're bringing up a lot of things I've not heard.

Oh yeah.

Doesn't a there doesn't w.

You're right, I have heard that. I guess I haven't heard it as a gerrand?

Is that a gerrand?

I was covered grammar? Okay, so you have started running to no success.

I tried. Yeah, no success. But I think I really think I just need to like ease, you know. I think I had too much too soon. I got to like start with some like party walking and then kind of gradually get into the running of it all because I think overdid it.

I keep having this fantasy that one day I'm just going to go to like some circular space and like walk then sprint and walk then sprint, And I'm like, I think I could do that. I used to love sprinting, though I do get shin sprints, chin splints and anyway, but I'm just in the back of my mind, I keep going, I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that, and then I just don't do that.

But I really like tracks for adults, Like I haven't been on a track since I was like a kid.

I basically need someone to be like, hey, come eat me right now and let's do this.

That was the thing where you couldn't get over when we're watching American TVs that you had tracks at your school.

I didn't.

Oh, it's just unbelievable to say that. Don't think there's a school England with one track.

What were you watching like Friday Night Lights.

Any all of this? It felt like everyone you were just sat in these big Olympic track fit like what is this? We had like a concrete playground and we went that linking arms.

Yeah we had Yeah. I think it's like, you know, it's the whole like.

Space space.

I guess we do. But you have space.

No, England doesn't have space, not like America's an island, tiny New Island. America's got you got that feel here of like it's a continent. It's like you can just you know, you drive all night that sort of vibe. Whereas England you're hit.

There is there a state that's like the same size as England.

Like California is is California. I think California is the same size as England.

Okay, well I got to go before a embarrassed myself or my boss yelled at me.

Okay, bye, wait that this said that California is bigger than English.

Yeah, oh England's tiny.

Shock.

Yeah, England's really small. And that's what I made. Like it's always so when you come, like the difference in being in a like America is huge and you can sell like I think the energy of the people, you can tell you're in a big place.

But it still took a while to get to the cartswords, like.

Where did you stay in the Cotsworts, Chipping nort and chipp and Camden, Gloucester, shit Stowe in the world.

I did go there and I liked that.

Yes, yeah, when I went to I go to the Cotswaalts for Christmas. And once I cooked a really bad dinner because I can't drive and I've got my family to come, and I thought we'll just get taxes. We couldn't get taxes, so we had to get food from the local like co op like wasn't great. And then I cook this like rancid dinner. And then there was no salt in the house and then they didn't vote because I'd brought them there. They made me go door to door.

And that's for a salt.

So it was Christmas Day, so it was like, please.

Get some salt.

That It was just like coming out with their hats on and so it was like bad food. But they're like, we need to we need salt it. Yeah you can't, like we can. Let's just make this like so we have food in our belly. What was it? It was turkey and chicken and bacon and stuff. But it was just awesome. It wasn't good stuff, you know, it was fine.

It just wasn't so mad.

Yeah.

If I like drove all the way out to visit someone and they made me bad food and had no salt, that's crazy, that's wild. I actually would have volunteered to knock on doors.

It was people were really happy to come to their door at Christmas. They want to break from the family. You're given them a story. Yeah, there was salt. Woman's at the door, like.

Was it one and done? You got your.

Salt, got my salt. And then but they gave me so much like it was crazy, like instead of just giving me like a salt container, she just poured into and then the mom was like, why just give her a talking to the board like salt into a glass, like so much salt? Do you have a dog?

I do?

Why is he not in here?

He's really growley and barkie and he I try to have him here and it's like he wants to go outside, then he wants to come inside. He wants to go out, and he wants to go there. It's frustrating. Hello is this Patrick?

Yes?

This is Patrick.

How's it going?

It's going great. I've written a song about you and I like to perform. Okay, okay, sounds like.

This Jelly you are the funny jealous god Jeldy lit my hair.

Guy, definitely afraid of definitely where that's all I got so far?

Wow, it's a great start. Let it start, Jose, which genre would you call that?

Oh?

I would call it kind of like Richard mart Sish, you know, oh, where there you go?

We should call it.

I've always quite anthemic like Jose.

Like yes, wow, Kings of Leon. Okay, so wait, uh my feet are not eight and a half. So I just need to make that clear.

They are, well, then you better you better call them. Hold on, I researched all my.

Songs A clean size eight. Oh said she's all feet.

But no, I were already making news, which is great.

We were just talking about wiki feed. Actually, yeah, and my guest.

Call me Roche.

That was right, right, Marcella Karatey.

So how about do it in an American No, just do it roche, rochene Marcella connity like comedy.

Yeah, I thought I was trying to do it like comedy.

See there you did it.

No, I just said comedy. But then you go.

If you just say roche, that's what everyone. That's a good Yeah, that's what everyone who struggles with it. And it's sort of like a good starter name. But Rochen is right, right, right, But Roch just makes your life easier. Yeah, like that?

Sure?

Are you not Irish?

Oh?

I'm Irish. Yeah, it's a very Irish name. But I was born in London, but I'm Irish. My parents Irish.

Did they have accents, Irish accent.

Super super Irish accents. I lived in Island when I was a kid, and I had an Irish accent.

And now you don't it's not perceptible.

Oh no, I've only lived an island for a year. I've got a very London accent, very North London accent, very Cockney, North London.

Is it Cockney?

Well Cockney? You meant to be born within the sound of the bow bells? Yeah, I wasn't. I say, yeah, like I know what that is. But yeah, as a church in I don't know, East London. And if you're born, if you're born within the sand of the bowbells, you have a coutnee. But I wasn't. I'm from Camden Town.

She's Cockney.

Okay, now you sir Patrick, Let's get back to Patrick. We were just talking about wiki feed, okay, and she was saying that she had painted her toenails haphazardly for some sort of appearance, and wiki feed zeroed in on that.

Close ups close ups.

I myself have perused wiki feet. I was shocked by it as a young comedian to find that my feet were being heartily rating on Wiki feet. Yeah.

So are you saying that you're surprised that the tone that the painting mishap ended up on there?

I was. I was. I was a little bit like it felt like a harsh call for them to zoom in on a on a bad day. Yeah, but then there's another one of them. And I was baking. I didn't realize the wiki feet was a thing, and I spoke powder on my flower on my feet and that one's a big hit.

That one's a hit. Oh that's like a weird fetish. Yeah, So Patrick, are you what do you do? You have a foot fetish?

Like I said, I was researching for the song and I had the lyrics. You are the beautiful and so you're funny and so sweet, so you gotta find something wrong.

Find feet. But how did did you know about ricky ricky feet wiki fee? Yeah?

Everybody knows about it. They like it's as much mentioned on shows all the time. You hear people talking about it all the time on shows.

Yeah, it's kind of what other part of the body would you like to see more of online? If you could just have a sight, I would like quite like to see is just people's ears up?

Really? Ears are actually like prehistoric. If you look at ears, it's like they make no sense. All the folds, external folds and the lobes.

It's like head badge.

They make a lot of sense. They're channeling sound into your ear canal.

What's your what's your job? What's your profess? Yeah?

Oh no, I don't have any.

But what I really defensive? You word about the ears there are? They make a lot of sense. Actually, you will not slag off ears on my watch.

Sorry, you cut your ears off and see how it works.

Are you Irish?

Are you Irish? Patrick? Have you got Irish parents?

Oh?

Yes, Patrick, Patrick McNamara, Yeah?

Yeah, So what's your connection to Ireland? Do you both feel like you don't know much like you should about Island?

I mean I have never been there.

Oh I'm pretty Irish. Yeah, I'm Irish. I was in I'm there all the time.

What's your favorite Irish food?

Chowder? I don't know if that's Irish, but like I get it there. They just do very good fresh produce. I don't know if they have like a really like a salad, like they're veggies and stuff like this kind of I wouldn't say it's known. I mean I haven't when I was growing up with it's very It's changed now, but like when I was going up, it's very all of plain food, traditional potato, chicken, you know, nothing.

Fancy Wait, they don't have any spices there. They can't grow they can't grow tasty spices.

So surely they can import something.

Oh now it's great now it has like, you know, all the food same with London, like London's I think when I was a kid, Yeah, it was appalling.

That's there's a difference between talking about traditional food and what one can import now in the twenty first century. Yeah, English London is now like the Indian food mecca of the world.

But sure is my favorite thing is only I missed when I travel. Yeah, but island has great food. Yeah, it's got just fresh fish, very good, very clean produce, and all their dairies farm they all the cows outside in the fields. That's whe they're buttering their milk. And their cream is all really top notch, yummy, sounds good. I guess it's claggy. It's claggy stuff.

Yeah, you'd like do you like a cream tea?

I love a cream tea. That's claggy, right, oh yeah, but you know, like it's the jam sort of cat takes the edge off. I wouldn't have it, Like, I'm just not carbonara. Do you like carbonara? Patrick? What's your pastor vibe.

Oh yes, very much.

Oh absolutely, she's calling it.

And my mother is My mother is Sicilian, so I didn't really have to I didn't have to settle for Irish food.

Wow, Pat track all right, thanks Patrick, I can't it's been too long with Yeah. Oh thank god, Carol, Carol, stop it, Carol. We needed you. I mean, I can't tell you how bad we fucking needed you right now we were on listen. My First of all, I'm tired, and my lips are full of crispy edges. They have crispy edges, like maybe, yeah, maybe it is sunburned. It just feels so distracting. I just want to go like slather them an Egyptian magic and just lay flat on a flat on a bed.

Every time she knows me, she says, I need to sleep for nine days.

I know. But the thing is is I was so excited You're going to be in a l so I was like, I can't. I need to have this happen. So have you seen the show game face?

I honestly don't think so.

The thing is, it's so good and so funny, and you wrote every single episode right by yourself. Start in it. It's so good I mean, I'll watch it. Obviously you won't be able to. I'm just promoting. Why not I keep promoting a show that is technically not accessible to anyone.

I think it might be an Amazon, but I'm not sure. It's definitely not anymore. Can you see if it's on Amazon?

Game face? It'd be good to know, being that I am telling every single color to watch it Apple TV Plus.

Alright, I just can't believe I'm on this call right now. I sort of feel like, hi, because my mom's name is Carol. So at first I was like, oh.

That's why I stopped saying the name that pops up on this green because it would always be someone else's name. Then who's calling?

But then, oh my god, wait, and that's terrible. I'm thirty and it still says my mom's name.

Why is that?

Okay?

Does she pay it?

I'll be shued up with you.

Yeah, why are you acting like you can't understand this great mystery?

You're like, wait a minute, I'm getting stooped. Why is my mom?

No?

And honestly, I have a lot of I have siblings, and my parents were always just kind of like, yeah, that's all right, So no, I shouldn't act shocked. That's like kind of silly of me. But no, she's Carol, I'm.

Patricia, Patricia, what is well? Do you have any questions about the UK? That's for one? Do people still say the UK every time I say it? I'm like, is that now out of date? So they still say it?

I yeah, because you can't. It is the only place that uses the pound, right.

No, isn't it the euro now or something? Oh no, we're back to the pound.

We never changed. We've always been, Yes, the old the old sterling, which.

I mean, I will I'm curious if like, to me, the most elite Love Island is Love Island.

UK, So that's that's an absolute certainty. I mean the US version was by far the most wretched version of Love Island was because we have no bands?

No, and that's the worst part, just hearing that he's so fit. Let's banter. I just want to have a chat?

Does she have? Does she have chat?

Like all that?

Like the Australians were a little better than the US, but they're not as witty as but like the whole well, sorry you go ahead.

No, I just I was wondering if you are a UK Love Island fand and that I guess like to go on, I just I live for the regional accent, like I I died for that.

So I've I've.

Been to Ireland, but I've never been to England before and obviously very different. But like Tommy and Molly May I know and Maara, like I could, they're my family to me.

Okay, wait, what do you think my family?

I watch? I don't watch. But the thing Love Island, what's amazing is the amount of people who watch it. So they had these idents I guess before the show with like a lizard and what was a turtle and a lizard? Whatever was? It's me and Easy City. We were these animals that were talked before the show is it's a really great comic com So it was just.

Things Wait a minute, okay, once again, I'm squinting into you, trying to understand what you're saying. Okay, what is an ident?

Like an ad? Like they had a cartoon but it was just a Love Island idea and you played an animal. It was like yes, so it was like what was I? I was a turtle or whatever it was. It kicked off because every people like the joke didn't make sense. She's a tortoise or a turtle. It's a turtle and a lizard. I guess me and Iszi were. It was like a thing we did a couple of series. I never watched the show.

But I never saw that, and I've seen every episode.

Oh, I got messages from people I never would have thought would have watched Love Island because I don't watch it. So I was like, I never people going, are you the lizard on Love Island? But like really very serious people really gave themselves away.

What's your name, Patricia?

You know Patricia?

Do you remember that?

No?

This is complete, and I will say this too, so I'm you're roast.

Right, Yeah, good, good job, good job making me.

Look like ship over there.

Like rosen or something.

So I'm literally over here like Raushen Raushine. And then I wrote it down phenetically and I keep having to flip pages back to read my phonetic writing. And she's like, you can call me.

Most people call me roche.

Like I do have.

I do have a friend who's Rochine, and I have heard a lot of people call her like Roisen, And I'm like, who names their child that?

Like, that's just what.

It's a typical name of a certain culture. Then it's not ro She.

Is a great name, Roison, I think because it has accents over it and it's like a weird but it's but yeah, but some people just CUTU.

But we call this episode by any other name? I mean, if you don't, what about how about a roche by every other name?

I mean, this has show title. It's a really and me just holding a rose?

Fourth show.

Like a roche among thorns and like the thorns maybe because that's what.

I was thinking, I know with I don't know if they do this in the UK, but like we go with our kids like what's your rose and thorn for the day? What's your rose? And they're like that's their favorite part of the day and the thorn is like the challenging part of the day.

Poet, Wait, that's cute, gorgeous.

I guess I still my true question. So I guess since you don't, you're not Love Island. What about I'm curious about like just the Queen? Honestly, do you miss her?

Like do you miss right now?

It's mad just having a real family. It's very old because you do feel like you know them. And we do know them like to it, but it's an odd it's crazy. It's absolutely that ship that you go, I know so much about. It feels like hearing about sort of a family that you have. You know, you go, what's what's happened with the boys?

You know, like this weird you call them like their name, like, oh well.

We'll go to the front of the page. The fun of the news, and it feels like it's a lot more newsy. We had like ten years where it went away and now it's like every day. The Wills.

Yeah, I mean I feel like it must have been such a good time in the US when it was JFK was like that was a hot couple in the White House. Yeah look where that got us. You.

Yeah, that's so true. I would say hottest president JFK, but maybe very oh too.

It was really the hottest Roosevelts, just the hot.

The hottest leader of all the leaders ever, that's true. They just just too Yeah.

The Obama's in the Kennedys, that was two of the hottest White House eras.

Yeah, like but you have Mom, I need Michelle's arms. And then Barrock, I mean he's just he's just a good looking guy, like it is.

What it is? Annoyally, Stalin was good looking when he was young.

Who Stalin, I don't know how it.

Is staring Stalin.

I thought you said Starling. You're just staring at me like Starling, and I'm like, who. No. I was like, is this a show? Is this over there? Is this over here? Who is Starling? And then I was like, is that mad man? Sterling? Now? Where are you from? Patricia Columbus, Ohio?

Do you have a little mountains?

Oh?

God, no, it's really flat.

We're just hang.

I need one bit of encouragement. I wanted to hang up many times before that. I was like, all right, I think we've run our course and we barely had started.

Hello, Collar, Oh.

My god, Hi, how are you guys?

We're doing pretty good. You know we're here. Okay, I'm here with an absolute genius who goes by the name of.

Give me loads of compliments when she tries to buy cash comedy.

Collar.

Are you in the LA area? Oh?

Have you had that pie?

Well? I'm not really a pie person, I know. Coming in hot here, I'm sorry.

Well do you not like sweets?

No?

I just I don't know something about the like sliding. This is kind of weird because like sliding roots, how it's like I fly out of your mouth. You can't get a grip. You're like bread grippy. But then the apple is like sliding.

I saw that Gwyneth Paltrow movie sliding Fruit. Wait, that is I'm so appalled by you and roach right now because she's calling like, no, she called carbonara claggy, and you're calling pie sliding fruit and a flaggy hell.

Clagg What is claggy? Is that a UK term?

Claggy is like it's like and your tongue gets so fat and claggy and you're eating, like and it feels like your breath is gonna smell of milk and about seven claggy. It's a good word.

It is.

It's almost like virgin on feeling like yid ish or something. That's how good it is.

Wait, what else makes their tongue claggy?

Greek yogurt that's if you get the Yeah, that's kind of claggy, but it's not. It's creamy. Yeah, claggy, that's claggy. A very dense sponge when you got it's a claggy sponge.

But now does that ever mean good because sponge claggy.

You know, you never want to hear claggy fro an.

I hate it on Great British Bakeoff when they use all those kinds of words, it's a bit claggy or whatever. Like they're always like holding people to these standards and I'm like, to me, this is my secret heart take, which everyone's gonna be mad about it as always. But I think everything on Great British Bake Off looks disgusting.

It's always like.

This is a ginger pistachio, white caramel, mango moose trifle with treacle, with cardamom treacle, and.

You know that sounds so good. Look met my hands now, see that does not sound good to me. And like it's always just five sugars too many.

Yeah, they do. It is a wild but a lot of them are really good cooked. Even on the celebrity one I did that, people were amazing.

Did you try?

I tried everyone. Oh, I was absolutely off my nut and sugar.

The thing is like, I don't want to sound like I don't like English desserts because that actually like when you go to a pub, yes, the desserts are amazing generally speaking.

Yeah, well, in school in England, we have school dinners and we get cake and custard.

Yeah, that's the thing I like.

And now like now like hipster restaurants do school dinner cake, but school dinner cake is so hard to get because it's like cheap sponge, so it has to be. But that's come into saying the hackney and stuff. You can get it delivered. Yeah, cheap cake and custard. You know, they charge you like proper prices. But it's like chocolate cake and chocolate custard is the one.

It's so good. Yeah, like I think that's better than fancy desserts. Like I was just saying to you, I can't remember if it was on there or after that. I went to school in Eggham, Surrey.

That's it.

And I went there for a semester my junior year and there was a pub there. I think it was called the Hungry Man. Ooh, I wonder if it still exists. It was so good and I would get jacket potatoes and I think they had bugget sandwiches as well, and then just those kinds of desserts, very simple, like in a bowl, something saucy and something baked and it was just like they were incredible, yummy. If I could give anything to just you know what, I wouldn't give anything.

And it was before phones. It was before internet. So if we get a mobile, but like you weren't on your online so just being in the popular in.

There probably Yeah. I can't fully remember what the phone situation was, but I think it was limited, yeah, because I remember being bored all the time, which isn't No, that's a pre cell phone experience.

You never have to experience true boredom. You could just be constantly irritated.

Yeah, but it is true. It's like when you wrote those three shows, were their phones?

No, No, it was not to put the Internet wasn't on the phone. Yeah, so I had to like I remember having to go down and like, yeah, so.

Get out and encyclopa My mom had an Encyclopedia Britannica and her library in the library, and like I just remember thinking it was like wow, so much information in here. And now it's like a chump change, the internet.

Will be free of the Internet.

I don't know, but I do like, I do think being bored, I'm like trying to create more situations where I'm bored so that I can create.

I think it's only it's absolutely where and I think it's just like it's such a part of our human experience, regardless of all of it. I think it's really important for the whole lot of it's just the overstimulation. I think this doesn't burnout. I just think, even if it's a low level, is that when you leave something plugged in the whole time, you.

Just go, that's going to break.

Did you watch last I watched the first series how many series where they don't say seventeen or something, I don't remember. I loved it, but then it went a bit wild.

Yeah, so I don't remember finishing it definitely. But there was a scene where they were like, I don't remember the details. They were kind of torturing a kid, I feel like, but I don't remember why or who, but they were just showing all this media to him and it was like lots of images and sound and like that's how I feel like life is now. I always think about that. Yes, wait, are we on a call still? Oh my god, I'm here.

Oh but what is this pie you're talking about in.

New y Sliding pie? Yeah, you're the sliding pie color. Now I know we can go there, we can go somewhere totally out.

No.

I like it when you have a strong and outreach opinion about pie. And I get it.

When you say the fruit stuff For a long time, Rubab moved too much for me.

I feel seeing.

Yeah, so this place, I don't know. I I thought it was delicious and I've mentioned it like fifty times since I've been there. But it's called like four score in twenty years. It's called like four Blackbirds or something. I can never remember the name because the name it feels like a sonnet or something. I'm like, can we choose one word and just it's called four and twenty right, it's in Brooklyn.

What would you call a pie shop if I could name one? Yeah, you've got to name one. In five seconds, we've go in the market's going five.

All I'm thinking is to pussy pussy pie. This is why I quit stand up.

It's a good pie shop.

You started doing the numbers do it these other wise sorial andy pie is all I'm gonna say. When it's up, time is up. What would be a good pie Shop title? What would make you want? Pie?

Pie? Pie baby? Shocking? No, I mean I we're gonna I love it?

Pum Well then, do you know? Me and Michelle Collins used to have a blog called pun Rise pun Set, and we used to just write like it wouldn't even qualify as a pun. We just did the most stupid wordplay on any theme. We would go back on Aol Instant Messenger and just do puns on a theme and then post them to our blog spot called my God.

I love it. I love it so much.

It was it was a different time I wish I had. That's see, That's what I'm talking about.

Board.

Now you have the time to do.

Pie, pie pie.

He just keeps pie and different intonations.

Pie baby. I think pussy pie is the winner.

Pie for now is a little around uh pie pie baby, Pile'll be back, Pile'll be back. That's also Arnold.

I really like it.

Lucy and the pie with too long. We're going to go through the tea wedding fruits. I love you, I love you very much. That's sweet.

That's really good.

Look okay, me and Michelle have a post called from pen Rise pun Set, which is still online. Shockingly, it's a doughnut one. Okay. First of all, it says caution construction site. I gotta I gotta hang up on him. Okay. Then it's like, these are donut puns from a blog that I had. Does it have a date on it?

Oh?

Yeah, August? So this is from two thousand and five. Wow, Michelle's pun. So the more donuts, the batter, that's very good. Dunking, Oh, King of the Hill, but Dunking.

Of the Hill good good stuff.

I donut know if I want to pay one dollar for five munchkins. She kicked him right in the donuts. The Carnegie jelly. Oh, these are truly bad. I can't believe this still exists. My lips are so dry and crackly that it feels like I have like you know when you put a face mask on and it dries and then you need to rinse it. That's why my lips feel.

My lips get really dry when I'm angry, or if I'm really that's terrified, they stick to my gum.

I'll be like yeah, your whole mouth.

Yeah, just like that sort of or on stage if I'm having a bad gig, go oh no, now I've got to like I'm having a nice gig and everyone could see my entire gums.

It's so stressful, just the worst. I talk really fast if I feel like I'm bombing. But a friend of mine I won't name him, he talks even slower when he's bombing, which I'm actually kind of envious of because it actually seems more confident and well.

When I listened back to my Edinburgh shows or Too shows, when I've the ones that did well, a good night would come in at like fifty the ones where I'm dying fifty eight or fifty nine minutes, And.

That's ironic because that's when you're hitting your mark at that hour. You know, why am.

I extending this death? So sha so awful?

I know, It's it's crazy how much an audience feeling loving can change your performance, at least for me.

Oh yeah, yeah, So when's your movie? I'm going to get England.

I don't know at the moment. It's only on Roku in the US, so.

It w probably come on skymm that's the only where it Apple on Amazon and all that lot.

M oh. I was thinking, that's like Delta Airlines or something.

Imagine, I imagine the planes movie. I think it's.

Actually I was watching movies on my fight and I'm like, actually, this is a good place to have a movie, because like it's weird in the sense that people don't go to theaters that much anymore, particularly young people. Yeah, so it's like where is good to have your movie.

It's like YouTube, you never love a If you like a movie on a plane, you'll like it more than you'll ever like it anywhere. M m, because the lack of oxygen. I watched a documentary about Maradonna and he's a football player, and the guy who made the I can't remember, but anyway, this guy's made lots of good documentaries. But I sobbed a documentary about football player. He was alive at the time, wasn't dead. I found it so overwhelmingly brilliant, And then I've watched it was anything. It

Yeah.

I feel like movies are really good on planes because you have nothing to do and you're just.

So like happy. They're in your mind?

Off it.

Yeah, although the last couple of flights I've been on there was technical difficulties and they kept having to reboot the the in flight thing. You go, Oh, I should have just brought my laptop. Oh, mama, Mia, okay, do you want to give us a food test?

A food test?

I'm here with my friend Brocha Shanna, and she's a brilliant comedy mind.

It's amazing, amazing in astrolife.

Oh thank you?

Oh what's astrolife.

Bases show?

Oh god, I have to see that.

What foods do you into getting? What was your most controversial food?

Most controversial food at the moment I'm actually eating. We have weird Eastern chocolate. So we have god Mammy seaweed chocolate. What's a strange Irish Irish?

That's the trailer. Imagine if the world ended, and this is how weird, this is how they found us.

I feel like I'm having a vagus fever dream. I but I'm sitting in my sitting room and said.

What time is it? Where are you?

I'm in Dublin so it is nearly midnight.

Oh you mean I was in Dublin last week?

Oh?

No way yeah, I did it a rainy still a great Oh.

It's a great city though, And I did I did a thing there that's yeah, it's good fun. What was it, I can't say because they don't always always. Yeah, I was hanging out, hanging out for a couple of days. It's pretty city.

Would you say that she's the pride of the Irish? Could you to saying that?

Definitely up there?

Okay, now we're talking.

It's because I'm a london because because I'm from London, I'm Irish, but London I can never be. They were, they were never fully accept me.

Yeah, that's what happens when you straddle to lands. No one accepts, you know, But I am Irish.

What's your first name? Oh yeah, and what's your first name?

My name is Katie, Katie Katy.

I'm released struggling today, just so you know, it's okay, struggle.

And so you had to see seaweed chocolate.

Yeah, we got chocolate for Easter from a place in Dublin, Bean and Goose and they have a lot of weird, cool flavors. So one of them Mammy Seaweed flavor.

That's yeah, that's gross.

And other ones like smoky almond, chocolate, great orchards and sea salt. But it's all really good.

Sounds great.

What's your rose and thorn about being Irish?

My witch?

So rose is like the thing you love about being Irish, and thorn is the thing that you hate about being Irish or that's challenging.

I love that everybody thinks that we're good crack, that we can have a lot of fun and you know, we're going to parties and stuff. And the thing I hate is that it rains here all time. I feel like it hasn't stopped raining since July.

Wow, we should go there. So Jordan loves rain.

I love.

We're always looking for rain destinations, so maybe that's our next trip.

I like my favorite things on Instagram, so I look at cabin porn. It's cool too, but it's almost like dark, dingy gothic, like like I like that. So when I'm an island, it's all rain in my family, like just whatever changed, And I'm like, I hope it doesn't like a weird black bonnet.

What's going on with you?

I love it.

So this whole topic of crack. Now you're reminded me. Why isn't there an Irish love Island.

Because I think we had.

Last year called grass air Tra, which I love on the beach. We had a thing last year called gras air on Tra, which is it's Irish, so it means love on the beach. Okay, it's like an Irish region. Yeah. Yeah, it was an Irish version where people went to the gel Talk and learned the Irish and dart fall in those, so we have that versions.

And could they speak a lot of people they go to the girl Talks. It was like half of.

Them could and half of them couldn't. So they had to help each other and it would help them to like, you know, get into each other.

So was it good?

It was? It was like it was good, a little bit cringey, but.

It doesn't sound good. I don't like when you're like, yeah, it was good. I'm like, I'm not going to invest the time with that energy. Yeah, I need I need Irish.

Friday night when you have nothing to watch and you have been like a glass of wine and you want to kind of laugh a little.

Bit, just goes having a glass of wine again, unfortunately. But I am ordering a creative monocoholic red wine and then I'll have a crisis and not have any of it if that sounds fun to do while watching Gras and Tall.

I never heard of that.

Wait, there were yeah? Wasn't there? Was there anyone Irish on Love Island or was it? Yes?

That one of the big ones on the series. What's her name, Molaira Moira?

Yeah? Yeah, and there was someone.

Else and I think she might help posted or something now I can't remember.

She can't believe you don't watch Love Island?

No?

Did you?

Did you get the ads in Island where we were there with me and Izzy were the turtle and the lizard.

About It's such a funny thing to be trying to get someone to recognize I know.

So funny I was because I was like, no one's going to see it, and.

Then it's just so perfect for the indignities of show business. Does that mean we've been going for five hours? Laura just held up a whiteboard with the number five on it. I'm like, I'm so disoriented to have we been What does it mean? Yeah? I think she's saying, do five more minutes? Oh? Out tea time?

That's so funny.

My lips have never been crustier. Listen, if we were going to come to Ireland. Where would be the best place to go? Dublin? You guys keep talking about Dublin. Kerry Curry, Yeah, Kerry, it's carry.

Going Yeah, Carry GOLs the butter best. If you come to Dublin where I live, it's called Scary. It's on the coast. It's so good. We have the best chicken wings ever and the best ice cream. Honest to god, we really go chicken wings really, the seafood radiod ice cream. And in the summertime you can stand on the Harbay and it's just like the most beautiful place.

You're talking so quietly, so it's really beautiful. I heard it, but I just wondered for you know, for something that is audio based, could you maybe pump it up a little?

Then?

No, I I have a question about Yeah, it is the operative word being a bit better. The wings. What's the prep on those wings? Is it like buffalo wings or what's the Irish equivalent?

Yeah, So there's a really weird obsession with Frank's hot sauce over here and everybody puts it on. There's a place in Scary.

Yeah, I'm on my way everything. Can you drive there from here? I'm waiting, so you put Frank's all over your wings.

Yeah.

So there's a place in Scary. It is called Blue Bar and they make the best Frank hot sauce chicken wings ever.

This is so funny. If I was traveling in Ireland, like everything that you're both saying, I feel like I'm retaining one third of it, like i'd be and I'd be like, oh, yeah, I'm looking for a place called Scaries and I'm looking for blue bar Blueber and like blue blue bar, blueber.

Yeah, like two words blue bar?

Is it? Blue bar?

Yeah? Blue bar?

Okay, So I would not have to say that that's what I wrote down, But.

I prefer you saying blueber Blueber.

Like I'm like, I would just be. I feel like I would really be in a bit of a crag, a claggy blagger.

Do you know what the word? You know, claggy? What it means? Don't you like food wise? If you said something was claggy, I.

Don't think i've heard of before.

Actually I was like, please say nose. Oh my god, if I made it up. You've had the word a blacker though, like if someone's blacking something.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be funny if.

Nothing you said, just like, but you are a blaggers of words. Yeah, she's kind of like a liar. She's sort of like fabocating in England. We say, I'm like, okay, well listen, what else do you have to bring to the table. We're probably gonna wrap this up being that we've been here for ten to fifteen hours.

That's fair, that's fair. So yeah, I guess just say thanks both of you for everything on TV. I watched with the two of you in it. I loved Afterlife and I think everybody loves Gina Drook in My nine. That's like my comfort show.

Isn't it so cool that we're here together just because I simply stalked and DMed.

Because she hadn't. She'd run out of all of their shows. She watched every and eventually she hit game Face. It's like, oh, my favorite thing.

It wasn't game Face so good?

I don't think she'd have seen it.

Really, you haven't seen game What in the fucking hell is going on?

No, and Ireland had it on.

We got to revitalized game pace.

You're like, how old are you like it? I think you're like it?

She could be watched what if she was like seventy eight, Yeah, it would be so shocking. Like your voice is, that's amazing. What if you had a young voice, but you're like a seventy eight year old, but you sound like this girl.

I feel like I need to ask you the guest.

Now twenty seven, twenty six.

Close, going now ride? What about you?

Rochina thirty two?

No, I'm twenty nine, so you're both kind of I was very.

Close sat return satin returns based on age? What is Saturn returns? I thought that was like something with your sign or something.

Yeah, from later to twenty seven to like thirty one, when you're satin returns.

What do you know about me? I'm an old Pisces aquarius.

Your Pisces, Yeah, I saw im a Pisces moon. That's why we get on very and I'm ann a Queries rising.

Yeah. Well, I mean someone told me I was a Pisces a Query's cuss, but then someone else was like, you're not. And I've never really gotten to the bottom of it.

I'm gonna I'm.

Gonna hire up they to find Do you know that me and Jordan started this Sherlock Holmes game where you solve cases and we read like it. I mean it's one of these games where actually it's not fun like an escape room. It's just all reading and it's just reading and reading and reading, and it's like really arduous, and then we literally go, I have no fucking idea who killed this person? Like it's like a guy, a guy.

And the idea is that there's enough information there for I think I could solve it.

I mean I wanted to achieve Yeah no, but I would like you to get this game, to go over to Scaries, go to Blue Bar and gets yourself some wings and pull out this game.

I'm going to solve a crime. I think protective. I think I just arrested a lot of people based on gut feeling.

Yeah. Well see that's like when we've played like some certain games like this with friends, Like some people do like to go off their gut feeling and then it's like other people talk down to those people about like you can't go off your gut feeling, And I'm like, why, yeah, why don't, Like, you know, great investigators do that.

But also probably terrible investigators.

They're like, you're not using your forensics team.

Do you like you love this guy, Eddie?

I don't really. You're out or should I say you're in the clink because of a gut feeling. Goodbye. Anyway, if anyone wants to get into this Sherlock Holmes game, figure out who killed the dude with the briefcase, he's

Oh wow, it's all just cool.

Yeah, it is fun. But however we're too dumb to figure it out. It sounds like it. It does sound like you've got yourself a job. Well, I just like I've gotten into a skin. Yeah, it's a lot of work. It's just reading like some of these board games you can get like you open an envelope and there's a photograph and then you realize something is amiss in the photograph. And this one is just truly reading. It's just all reading comprehension.

Want to play Guys with your family but not say a word for the evening?

Yeah, it's just you need your readers. You gotta hunker down and just read.

And do you read out to each other?

Yeah?

Okay, So do you do the voices?

Yeah? Oh okay.

So it's some fun to be had.

But it's like bad British actions probably, but they're good.

But then you can decide, does anyone have a just you can get involved in it.

Yeah, so you know it's fun, but I am kind of like I do, kind of want to know the answer.

So you're gonna get emails. If people just telling you now right, it's gonna be no.

But they'd have to invest in the game.

They'd have to buy it.

You could probably find it online.

Someone will do it.

You know.

What I was thinking of doing was just reading through from top to bottom all the witness statements because I was trying to go, oh, let's go to this perfumery and ask this person something. You go to that page you know, but if you just read through the entire statements of everyone, you'd probably figure something out.

Yeah, I mean, how would you solve it? How would like? Is it just so? How many pages of documents are there? Is it books or pamphlet.

It's like a pamphlet, but it's small print, and it's like a lot of people, and like they'll be like, oh, yeah, him, I always did have an issue with him. He's you know, like he's whatever. But then it'll just be like, but no, I wasn't around that day, you know, or whatever. You're just like, fuck off.

Oh that's good. I'd like to solve it. I do think part of me, I think I would have been a good detective. But then I also must remember that I have absolutely no sense of direction, to the point where whatever feeling, I have.

Gut feelings and a bad sense of directions. And that's a good stunning. It's stunning me wrong.

So I have to be in a car and be like everything tells me that way, and I've never in the history of my life been right. Yeah, so I have to just be quiet.

I think I have a good sense of direction. Actually, Laura's nodding. I always find my way here to the studio, don't I all right? We gotta add Oh honey, honey, honey, I'm so glad that your call international call worked. This is Let this be a sign and a symbol and an invitation to all international cars. You can get through you.

And tell everybody about your tons chicken wings.

That's it? Did we get to this point? Did we get so fun? Hulley from will be Web before Hulley from will be Really? I wish I could be just shot in a sling back to my home and then you just see me in my bed comatos for the next ten hours straight. That's the only way to end this length of a podcast. One are my pee homes? All right? What? Oh callar bye? Thank you so much to the lou Thank you so much. Uh, Joel, I gotta do it. See this is what happens. It gets

Oh well, I want to know what kind of scary you guys wear.

Oh, now, this is a good question for today's guest, because she happens to have an incredible set of lashes.

I have been wearing the same as scar since I was fourteen? What is it? Blank?

Come? I wear lincomb too, But which one? Because now they have five thousand.

Hypnose but not the waterproof one.

Oh?

Is that the pink cap?

No, no, that's a different one. Yeah, it's just the black one. But I won't. I've tried loads of them scars, and I've only ever gone back to lang Come.

Yeah, land Comb is good.

It's good and it's easy to wash off. To ripat your eyelashes.

Right, mine are half gone? Yeah, and my eyebrows.

You've got very long eyelashes are and you've got them. I do not you do on the side, they're like that they're so short compared to how they used to be. I think with mine? Nice have loads you have such I've got. I've got twenty five coats from scar On like I've literally before I could get this in two coats. This is like a tub of mascara.

This is me Like, I'm like, see we are ending on a thing. No, but these lashes are amazing. So you did pick the right question. So that's land coom hypnose. Now I do use your show, which I do like because I really like the big fat wand there we're fucking. This is what you call home run call. So anyway, I like that. But I also use that cheap one with the pink cap that's waterproof.

Maybe lean Yeah right, what pof scars? That's a name, it's an absolute.

I know.

I just can't. I've just lost too I've lost too many good eyelashes to too many bad mascars.

Now, what liner do you do? Cannot do that?

I bought this the other day in a what do you call that shop?

Here?

Sephora? Yeah, and it was I asked a girl there, I said, what eyeliner do you use? And then she pointed me out and it was like an American brand, American brand and it was so easy. It was just like a pen, and I just went on. It was so easy.

It was its Russell brand coot and I'm just kidding. Okay, wait, so.

It was such an easy pen to use. But I'm not great, I'm not great eye makeup, but I don't mind diver you are. I'm not great, but I'm also not that bothered, where some people are like, oh, it's a slight like, whereas I'm like, get it on.

It looks cool.

You have like the full on kind of like thank you put a lot of ice eyeliner along because I knew you were going to put clips and I was like, oh my god, yeah I know.

And look at me.

You look great in the dumps I have I have.

Oh she hung up. That's hilarious.

Is that a bad believable? Wow?

Our last collar hung up on us? What about you?

Oh?

Can you believe it? We were talking about lip creams controversial. We're counting on you. Oh a food test great, okay, worser sauce that's an absolute one percent?

Yes, absolutely, yeah, you have to have it. You kind of cheese on toast about it.

It don't mean a thing if it don't got that tang.

I love it so much, and it saves so many dishes. Yeah, you know, like when you have to make a dish it's gone wrong.

I'm thinking of actual plates. I'm like, can it? Can it is here? Broken plates? That's where I'm at right now. I'm like this, huh no, if you've made like a sort of squirely little peasant dinner and.

This is nothing.

You make a lot of bad dinners that you then put like salt or sauce on.

Oh listen, condiments will change the make like a scrumptious I've got like three. I make a really great roast chicken. I make a really good prawn and pasta. It's my one dish. If you come around and oh yeah, and I do a big one pot an absolute trough of that on the site with coriander, with cilantro, that's a game changer.

Interesting two dishes.

It's one dish.

No, you said chicken.

The roast chicken is a separate dish. Yeah, they're my two big ones that people are like, she could cook something, okay, I do think like a rose chicken is kind of the bastion of the bad cook. I can't believe the insult I had the word bastion in it.

It was.

It was such a.

Drive towards a compliment.

I was.

I started sitting out straight.

I was.

Else and I have to see if I used it exactly really well used. But it really lured me into a full sense of like, oh she's leading me up with a compliment hit, and.

Then it was I can't actually even tell if I used it correctly from the definition, what's your next one?

This is a great game.

My next one is.

Black currants.

Just by themselves, fresh or dried in like a scone or something. Oh god, oh, I was thinking, like juice, what I'm so tired. I'm hanging on a mic, like when a prize fighter has on the ropes.

You know.

Black currants they're like blackberries.

No, yeah, they're more like they're more like black currants. Tiny. They look a little raisiny when they're dried, but they taste more berry ish.

Black currant jam on a really good jam or a.

Yeah. I like all berries and currants jams, and I like blueberries and blackberries. You should just fade out on this sentence at the end, would six I had ever? I like old black currants and jams.

I like slowberries, sloughs, I like all of them, slowberry, slow gin? Did you ever drink slow gin in the day? So you pick slows and then you put it in the gin, and then you leave it for six months and then.

You have slow jan So is that capers?

No, they're like they're like massive blueberries, and then you pick them the beginning of September