You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.
Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to But are You Happy? The podcast that asks the questions you've always wanted to know from the people who appear to have it all. Brook Blurton is a media personality who you may know as the first Indigenous and bisexual bachelorette, but she's also a successful author, podcaster and
youth worker. She's a Nunga Yamaji woman who grew up in Canarvon, Western Australia, and Brook's story is unlike any I've heard before. Brook's mum had addiction problems, so part of her childhood was spent in the foster system. When she was eleven, her grandmother, who had been instrumental in raising her, had a stroke in her garden. It was Brook that found her and called the ambulance and her
grandmother was taken to hospital in Perth. Brook's mum went to visit her mum in hospital and while she was there, she took her own life. At her mother's wake, Brooke was sexually abused while she was sleeping. It's the kind of story that makes you want to reach through those words and hold the young girl who was dealing with multiple complex traumas. While most eleven year olds get to focus on the fun and joy of being a child.
At eleven, Brooke called her dad and she went to live with him in Perth, and in the years that followed the impact of the trauma she'd been through and the trauma she was still living through manifested itself in a number of ways.
It wasn't a better life. I was still being emotionally abused. I was still being verbally abused because I didn't talk, So maybe I wasn't being like physically abused as what my previous life was like. I was still experiencing these different traumas and I think, you.
Know, there's so many feelings that I had when I was younger.
I was obviously I felt displaced is probably the word. I felt insecure. I was very unhappy and very ashamed.
The story of how Brooke Blurton went on to thrive at school and become a role model, both through her work in the media and her work with at risk youth is deeply moving. It's also an exploration in resilience, finding happiness in darkness, and the way in which pride, fun and joy can coexist with grief, despair and loneliness.
Here's Brook Blurton.
This episode mentions themes of drug addiction, sexual abuse and suicide, so please listen with care. If you or someone you know need support, reach out to Lifeline at thirteen teen eleven fourteen one eight hundred respect or check our show notes for more resources. Brook Blurton, You're known and adored by the Australian public, and in twenty twenty two you wrote a memoir called Big Love that shared your incredible story of adversity and resilience and the transformative power of love.
From the outside, your life is glamorous and enviable, But beneath the surface, how are you right now? What's your life like at the moment?
Very good question.
My life now currently, I would say and describe as maybe a work in progress, a whip, which you know we all are, so that's always a fun thing.
But I feel like many times in my.
Life I'm going through different transitions in Korea, in personal, in healing and growth. Like I think this couple of years are self proclaimed my years to be my soft Girl era, which means I guess prioritizing rest and restoration and recovery, which comes back to a lot of other things that have happened in my life that I haven't really allowed myself to do this. So yeah, it's kind of a bit of a like a stripping back, pulling back error.
You grew up in community with your family, what do you think so many Australians wouldn't know what understand about growing up in community.
I think with the world and the industry that I have been working in the last ten years, there isn't this really understanding of what coming from the bush, or coming from country towns, or coming from rural or regional areas means it's just a different kind of way of living. And I know, like you know, everyone's like, oh, I'm like a country girl, and they have a view of what that looks like. But it's more I guess from a community that was very sort of isolated.
From the world.
I mean, Canarvin is nine hundred and thirty kilometers from Perth. It's not remote, but it is rural and the population around five thousand people, so everyone knows everyone, everyone is in each other's business. But you know, growing up in
the community, it's quite communal. Like I guess growing up with your cousins and your neighbors being your aunties or your uncles and your men being across the road, Like, it's just a different way of living to coming to Perth or coming to the city or coming to Melbourne where it's just like far greater population and it's a bit.
Hard to adapt to.
But yeah, I guess in community, what people wouldn't know is how many values I guess that are established when you're young and how much you sort of miss out.
On that when you get older.
What kind of values do you feel like you grew up with because of having that baseline you came from.
Love and consideration. It's joy. The fact that I grew up.
Next to family was that I always had people coming in and out of my house and that feeling. Some people would get really aggravated or really annoyed at that sort of part. You know, their value their privacy, But it's not that you don't value your privacy. You just value the community aspect of that and what it brings
to you. And the joy of having that sort of open door policy of like welcoming and celebrating and I guess being inclusive my mother and grandmother instilled in me from a young age, you know, appreciating walking barefoot on country, or appreciating times of day, so when the sun sets and when the sun rises.
Yeah, like little things like that.
It may not mean much to the general public, but culturally to me and culturally to First Nations people, it actually is a part of us, and it means way more than people can really fathom or gather together.
It's interesting what you say about the open door policy, and some people might think that that's exhausting having lots of people come through the door, But I've read that sometimes when you grow up like that and then you go to a city, it's actually the city people find exhausting because you are interacting with so many people in these little ways all day, and people that you don't know, and that's actually far more intense. Did you kind of have that whiplash?
Yeah, a lot.
Actually, when I was younger, adapting to the city was quite difficult for me. I'd also experience quite a bit of trauma in a very short period of time, so I was suffering from a lot of PTSD, and I guess the effect of that was that I actually shut down and I didn't talk for two years when I
talk about that in Big Love. But I guess coming out of that and adapting to to a different family, a different city, different school, different friends, and different community and plays, there was just so much happening that I was probably just like overstimulated and over overwhelmed, if I'm being honest. It was a lot, But I think I sort of.
Found my.
Common ground, or I guess my grounding in AFL footy. I played footy from when I was a younger kid in Caernarvon and then moving to Perth, I still continued it and that kind of set me on a path where I could do what I loved and it felt like home in some way.
So I sort of.
Had to make home in a place where it didn't really feel like it. And yeah, you're right, I mean people probably get overwhelmed by having these little interactions with strangers all the time. Now I enjoy it, but at that time, everything was new and everything was fresh, and I was just kind of taking it for what it was and what it is, so as you can imagine an eleven year old, it was just so overwhelming to find my feet in that age.
Going back to how you ended up in Perth at eleven, So you grew up in you with your mum and your grandmother and your siblings, and then when you were eleven you lost both of them at about the same time. What can you remember about that period and what kind of kid were you when your whole life changed?
Well, like I said, I had kind of grown up with my house kind of always being chaos in a light term, good chaos and bad chaos, sometimes playing with my siblings, having like you know, four of my siblings around, and then when I guess my mum and my grandmother died, we all separated and I didn't know where we all when, what we were doing, if we don't see each other again, if we'd come back together again.
And at that time, as a kid, I.
Was very shy, but I kind of held a responsibility which was kind of unknown until later in my life when I started unpack that. At an early age, I kind of already decided that I had this role in my family to take care of everyone. No one had told me that, no one had said you need to
do this. Innately, It was actually a coping mechanism to keep myself safe and to keep everyone else safe, so my siblings, my grandmother who was really sick at the time and obviously ended up passing away, and also you know, dealing with a mum who was addicted to drugs and had such a volatile relationship with it, and.
So there were so many moving parts of that part of my life.
But I do remember, you know, I was a shy kid, but then moving to the city helped me, I guess, come out of my shell way more. But I just remember that time thinking, am I going to be able to see my siblings again and we're all going to be together at that time, and kind of having an innate feeling or desire or motivation to get us back together again and to reunite however that looked or whatever that was going to be, Like, I was determined to
do that. So I kind of treated Perth as a new start, a new fresh obviously new family, new place.
I just thought, all right.
Like, yeah, I've kind of shut down and I went internally into myself. But I built my confidence up step by step, using footy and using school and using connections that I made to get myself to a place where I was like, okay, well, I can actually do this now.
Coming up next, I talked to Brooke about the moment she learned the truth about how her mum died and the severe depression that followed. So you're this little kid, and you say you felt this sense of responsibility, which I find fascinating that at such a young age you're
feeling responsible for your family and your grandmother. And that is probably something that comes from that community living, that you feel responsible for each other, and that's actually a beautiful thing that not everybody gets to experience when you don't have family that's that tight knit. I wonder when you do experience trauma and when really horrific things happen, does that responsibility do you almost weaponize that against yourself?
Like do you feel responsible for things which weren't your fault?
I did for a very long time.
Yeah.
I guess between zero and a they say, you know, therapus will say you establish your core beliefs. Between that age and later in life, these will sort of determine and show themselves.
I mean, I was a kid and I had to.
Grow up really quickly, and that obviously became more of a survival mentality.
Like I said, to keep myself safe during that time. No one had said that, No one had told.
Me that that was my innate, I guess feeling and mechanism to do.
I think for a long time I hated.
Parts of my life because I thought it was my fault, or because I could have made better choices, or you know, I could have done this and I could have done that.
And I guess not in a way that I did weaponize it, but I just.
It wasn't a positive feeling to look back at those moments, and I kind of felt embarrassed and a bit shame. I think shame is the word that I would always get picked on because I was like too white for the black kids, and then I was too black for the white kids because I didn't have money and I was poor, and I was embarrassed by those moments. So I've now like channeled this feeling now which probably lives in these that I will never go back to that. So I've worked my ass off to get to this
place to never go back to that. So that kind of weaponizing, Yes, that's more of a motivation and a determination rather than a weaponizing.
You lost your mom by suicide. Do you remember the moment you learnt that.
Yeah, it was actually later, so we were told such a different story when my mum actually died, so not.
That it really helped with the grieving process.
I think later on, when I was more eighteen and found out the truth, I was more confused and probably more angry, because you know, when I was eleven, I kind.
Of, you know, thought it was like an.
Accident, and I had been told that, and that's how we process the information that it was an accident and there was no control over it. But then I guess when I found out that my mum did suicide and she had control over that.
I was angry.
Like, as an eighteen year old, you're going through so much already in life, and you're going through this transition period of your life, like you're becoming an adult and now you're you know, sort of left out into the world to deal with things yourself without guidance, and I already had sort of had to grow up with that already, so I was kind of doing it alone. And then having found out more about the lead up to her death and what happened.
Yeah, so finding out later was honestly a very turmoil sort of part of my life.
I then sort of suffered from my own mental health issue and I had to sort of learn, I guess, to deal with trauma. And that was, like I guess, the first part of my journey.
Into healing and actually seeking help.
And it was also my first experience, not my first experience, feeling suicidal or having suicidal adeation. I talk about this a lot, and I'm very raw and I guess, you know, open about my experiences in my lived experience, but it was my first acceptance that I really needed help to deal with this and to deal with the pain that I was feeling, and also the anger and the embarrassment
and the displacement. Really that was pretty much what I was feeling when I was an eighteen year old finding out that my mum had taken her own life instead of it being an accident.
How did that trauma manifest itself? I mean, there were a few things that happened to you when you were so young, and I can imagine that you talk about how you didn't speak for two year, you were mute. What other ways did the trauma manifest Well.
The very obvious one is obviously going mute and isolation inside.
I was very angry, but.
At the same weird time, in this weird sort of juxtaposition, I was also grateful I'd moved to a family, a white family which was my dad's family, who took me under their roof, had given me sort of more of a more conventional life. But it wasn't a better life. I was still being emotionally abused. I was still being verbally abused because I didn't talk, So maybe I wasn't being like physically abused.
As what my previous life was like.
I was still experiencing these different traumas, and I think, you know, there were so many feelings that I had when I was younger. I was obviously I felt displaced is probably the word. I felt insecure. I was very unhappy and very ashamed. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know where I belonged. I didn't know my identity.
I knew things about my cultural identity that I had held so much, I held sacred and so close to me because they were my grandmother's stories of stories that you know, I will carry on, and I was really proud of those. But yeah, I think it manifested in mental health into more of it. I can't really say that I was depressed at more eleven or twelve because there was so much happening. I probably I probably was, but I hadn't really, you know, had that diagnosis, so I couldn't really say.
But if I was to see a doctor I've probably and.
Actually spoke about it, I probably would say that I was ceviely.
Depressed at that time.
And so it was manifesting in so many different ways, and the only thing that really only pulled me out or brought me back to a place where I felt happy and I felt that I did belong was actually AFL Footy.
So I'm very very grateful for a stupid leveable.
I can imagine that that sense of community really pulls you out, and it's also did it feel like a physical way to express what you were feeling without having to use words like what do you think it was about AFL that brought you happiness in such a dark time?
The community aspect, for sure, and belonging to something or some team that you feel like you are contributing and you're offering something and you are valued for it, which seems so silly, I know, but I think when I look at that younger version of myself, like that's all I really craved, was feeling like I belonged somewhere and feeling like I needed to be somewhere and feeling needed. And I guess and appreciate it, and I think, you know,
when I played footy, I didn't really have to talk. Yeah, I would yell for the ball, but it was more like, you know, I learned to use my body and my gestures and my use of eye contact to really tell people what was going on even if I didn't or couldn't really express that. So yeah, I kind of learned how to talk with my eyes, which is funny. I
still do it now, like I'd rather not talk. But yeah, I guess footy was just taught me that there were so many aspects of it that what I was really seeking in that, And I think I grew like a sisterhood with my teammates. The game has changed so much of the years, but I still pride so much on, you know, that part of my life being really down.
To footy with AFL you were also really good at it, and you you were really good at athletics, and I can imagine that like going to do something that you are naturally really good at and then being able to get better and better and better and stand out and get positive reinforcement is such a huge source of self esteem when you're going through struggles in your personal life. By the end of school, you were head Girl. Is that right?
Yeah?
What do you think it was? Were there people that you can identify who really held your hand and got you out of where you were?
There were very few people in my life at the time, but the people that I guess showed so much compassion and so much love towards me had made the biggest impact. It was such a pivotal thing for me to have those extra curricular tutor programs that are sponsored by donations and government, because those programs after school were the things that got me through and actually leveraged me to be then more academic and graduating as Head Girl. It wasn't
even about the title. It was actually just the amount of work that I put into to get that, but then also to show that I am capable and I am so much more than I think that I was or am. And you're right, my self esteem was very low, and I constantly in the face of that, I still showed up and I still put a mask on. I guess I tried to put this confidence version of myself that was like, yes, I can do this and saying yes.
And I think my teachers and those people that did really help, like Joe was a teacher at mine, and Jeremy Bruce, who was also another teacher who taught me afel, those people never really gave up on me and just told me to keep saying yes to.
Things, because I think sometimes there can be a bit of philosophy around boundaries and how important it is to say no, But there's also something to be said for that crucial moment of being young and taking risks and saying yes to work out how strong you are and how good you can be at things that maybe you
used to be scared of. Like to think that now you're a speaker and you've been on national television and in adolescence you didn't speak for two years, Like that's a transformation that a lot of people can imagine.
Yeah, I feel like this has only really come out in the last couple of years. I guess since writing Big Love about my experiences growing up in the community, and I guess even talking about me not talking is very unusual, and it is a very conflicting thing because some people don't not that they don't believe me, they're just like a bit astonished that those two years of my life I didn't talk and yeah, I probably said thank you and hello and gestured, and I felt like
that's what I remember. I don't feel what I said or didn't. I can't picture that, but I can remember how I felt in that time, and I felt minimized, and I felt internal, and I felt closed off to the world. And it's I guess, then going feeling those things and going through life and building myself up, and then getting to a position to then apply for you know, like a reality TV show, which.
You can't really express all of that.
In a show that's about dating one guy or finding the love of your life, you can't really express all of that. So it's crazy because this is I guess, an expression of what people go through their lives. And I guess also the complexities of humans and also trauma and how that has an influence and mental health and all of those things I can't really encompass in any short seeing.
Up next, Brook talks about the time where the world told her she'd be happy when she left the bachelorette in a glamorous new relationship, and what was actually going on behind the scenes. You're on the Bachelor, You're in a mansion with a group of women who all have their own stories and invisible struggles and that sort of thing.
But when you were having those experiences of the Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise, the Bachelorette, were there moments where the world kind of told you you'd be happy, Like there were moments where you're going to events and everything looks really glamorous from the outside, but you actually weren't.
Yeah, of course, there's two really distinct moments that I went to, and I think the first one is it was post Bachelor and you know, I had left and everyone's like, you know, you dodged a bullet and oh good on you and gay and in enough time had gone on sort of build myself back up from that experience, and then it you know, you reintroduce it and you re air it, and then you sort of relive it at the same time.
And then as you're reliving.
It, all those sort of feelings are coming back up again, and depending on where you're at in life, you can really feel it or you can close it off. But I am a feeler, so I felt every sort of moment again, and everyone was like that, such a boss babe, like good on you for walking out, but not realizing at the same time the honey Badger is messaging me and confusing my feelings as well in that time, and everyone's like, you're a boss babe, and I'm.
Like, I don't know what's going on. I have no idea. This is the first time I've been on TV. It's such a and I should be.
Really happy, and like everyone's like, you're killing it, and I'm like, well, no, Like at the same time, I'm like confused. I'm so confused because it's just overwhelming and so unusual. It's such a world that I'd never really like, and I just, you know what I just said, I can't deal with this. I'm going to go back to my normal job. I'm going to go back to work, and I'm just going to pretend it didn't happen for a moment, and then I'll deal with it when it comes to that.
So that's what I did.
And I guess the second time, which is probably a little bit more fresh and a bit more serious again, is post bachelorette, and everyone thinks that you're in this perfect relationship and you're in love and you're so happy, and they didn't realize that my sister had passed away the day that I had filmed the last night of finale, So finale was on a Thursday night.
I spent three days with my chosen.
Partner, and then once I got out of that experience, I'd found out my sister had passed away. So yeah, I mean, how do you process one of the happiest moments of your life and one of the most awful
times of your life. And I think when I was doing my publicity and having to talk about being in love and finding someone and you know, I'm so happy that I've done this experience, and also having to deal with sorry business and having to deal with grief and so feeling guilty because you weren't there for your sister.
So yeah, yes, So the two moments where people think that you're really, really, really happy and you're killing it and you're slaying it, and you're also trying to believe that, but there is a part of you that's also like, this is the truth, and this is actually generally how I feel, and I can't really express that because people won't understand.
And in that period after actuallyrette, I think I remember that that you were doing the project and you're doing all the glamorous interviews and everybody's unpacking your love story, and there's a lot that goes on that probably feels incredibly superficial compared to a huge loss that you're grieving at the same time. What did you do in that period to navigate those two extremes, because I imagine you're
contractually obliged to do all of that press afterwards. Did you feel like you got support from the people you were working with. Did you feel like you got support from the guy you had chosen.
It's such an unusual experience to explain. I definitely feel like personally I had partly disassociated from my life when I look back at it and then have talked about it, you know, during therapy, because it feels like.
Such a blur. It feels like I wasn't quite there.
And in those moments, I think, you know, I was experiencing grief for I guess PTSD as well. It was coming back in those times, and I wish that I was a bit more present. I'm really disappointed in I guess my experience with that in ways because my family are so we're so close and during this time we really rallied together and we became so much more closer for this experience because now we're having to organize a funeral.
But it was also really heartbreaking because yeah, I am contractually obliged to this performative aspect and having to still continue filming, like the day before my sister's funeral, my family and I filming our backstory and.
That was really heartbreaking.
And my brother and I actually spoke about it recently when he was in Melbourne, just the unusual feeling of on just like putting your trauma and everything and experience and grief just to the side and being like, Okay, now I have.
To put this on. And it wasn't healthy.
I must admit it was probably the most unhealthiest way of dealing with it at the time, but I just needed to get through it and then once I was over that hill, I could then allow myself. I mean, I was really also lucky in ways too, because I just picked a really beautiful partner who was really supportive and wanted to be there for me. But couldn't because we couldn't be in public and we couldn't be seen together,
and so that was also another complexity to that. And then on top of that was COVID and lockdowns and
being away from home and flying back from Sydney. Trying to get into WA was the most excruciating painful thing that I had to come up with some legal garbage pretty much get the network to write a letter to say, like, if you are declining or not allowing me to enter into my state and my country, you are actually obstructing me to practice cultural protocol, which is so busy and so yeah, that was difficult to first get into WA and then in the two week lockdown period being isolated
by myself with my dog at home organizing a funeral. So in the moments of hey, she's just come off the show, she's really really happy, she's found someone. She's a bachelorette, you know, and all of these comments and tabloids and etc. To then being in an ABNB by yourself organizing a funeral for your sister that you've just lost. It's just I don't place myself there everyone. I don't not want to place myself there every again. Because I don't. Yeah, it's not a fun time.
And meanwhile, yeah, I can imagine you're going through such a harrowing experience and from the outside, beautiful photos of you in the finale dress and you and your hair and makeup, and it just looks like the most you know, glamorous, simple time, and it's beneath the surface, it's absolutely not in those moments. You obviously have friends that you've made since you've had a profile of your own. Do you ever get uncomfortable about whether people want to be friends
with you for the right reasons? Like, obviously you have been through so much. You need people to understand you culturally, you need people to understand your trauma. You need people to understand who you are. Do you worry that people ever want to be friends with you for the fun, shiny bits and not for the deeper bits.
Those type of people showed their true colors during that time, for sure, especially within the breakup as well. When a relationship breaks up, you know, you do find out who's there for you and who's not. And you know what, I kind of had this like mentality which is probably not also healthy by the way, So it's like, you know, those who matter don't mind, and those who.
Don't matter mind.
Yeah, yeah, you know, during that.
Time, I guess I probably would have said that to myself. And you know, I guess the true colors of people do show, and you can kind of read the room.
And understand that.
I've always been really picky with my friends as well. I generally love people who have such a warm heart and a kind and a compassionate and care about people. And I look at my friends that I have now and have remained, I guess since the show and from the show as well. You know, I was best friends with like one of my producers, and she's still like one of my close friends. But she lives in Sydney, you know, and she was pregnant during the whole time we're filming Bachelorette, and it.
Felt like I'd known her baby without.
Even meeting him, and then meeting him, he'd known, like my voice, you know what I mean.
So can't tell me, like that's not this show.
You don't develop relationships and beautiful friendships because you do. I find it more difficult, not with friendships, but more probably dating as well.
And I found, you know, dating since.
The show has been proven pretty difficult because people have an idea of you, and people have a perception of you from your profile, from your Instagram, from your TikTok, you know, from googling you, rather than just finding out who you really are as well. I mean, I always joke I'm like, go read my book. Read two hundred and seventy pages. You understand my life and who I am, because that was the raw pages of my life that I'd never really shared.
You have done youth work, and I wonder when you meet other young people who have been through trauma, have had really hard upbringings, how do you protect yourself from not being re traumatized from taking on their pain. You're the kind of person who feels things really deeply. How do you help them without feeling exactly what they're feeling.
This is a muscle that I've definitely developed over the years.
I think, you know, you're kind of taught that in youth work on professional boundaries. But I guess how I protect myself is I've dealt with a lot of my experiences writing them out, talking them out, speaking them out. I can sometimes look at my life from like a bird's eye view lens and know that yes, these experiences have happened, and yeah they were horrible, they were traumatic, but I wouldn't really be in this position, or I wouldn't be really here if I hadn't had those experiences too.
And I have to look at them as a that was then and this.
Is now, and I can use them and I can kind of pull into that basket boat now and then when whenever I need to.
But I don't always have to.
And I guess it's kind of reading your experience, reading the room, and reading what is needed from that young person too. They don't necessarily need to know everything that traumatic happened to you. It's more about being like, I grew up in community. I know what it's like, and there is that sort of common understanding and that common knowledge that you have that some people might not have,
especially non Indigenous people working with indigenous kids. So you kind of have a little bit more common ground and that's probably more of a blessing than anything else, because you can place yourself in the shoes of that kid and be like, okay, like at this time, yes, I was a bit uneasy. I felt like I was, you know, lacked confidence, I lacked self esteem. But how do I build myself out. How did I do that?
Do you find that you get a lot of joy and lot of meaning out of working with those kids?
They teach me more about myself than anyone else has, really and I think they teach me more than what I teach them.
As an Indigenous woman who I imagine has worked with some Indigenous youth. When last year Australia voted on the Voiced Parliament and we voted no as a country, how do you reconcile that in your mind in terms of how you can live happy and content life when there's this weight, and how do you speak to young people about that who might be feeling really really defeated.
It's a pretty touchy topic for most people post referendum, I guess post day of referendum. I was sort of in damage control with a lot of my younger girls. The day before, they had Senator Jonah Stewart come in and you know, talk about the voice and the referendum, so they really understood what it meant. And then to have, you know, Australia vote no, it was kind of like boosting them up and then telling them that they're not good enough and that's not just reflective of that group
of girls at all. That's just representative of all First Nations people who felt that, which is really shit. But at the same time it's given a lot of us, and I say, as First Nations people a bit more of a fire in our belly to change systems and
to take up space. It hasn't really I think having the moment of silence and you know afterwards was probably needed for some But I was kind of back into work and I was like, you know, I'm not going to let this defeat me because it doesn't mean anything in any way, like, yeah, okay, the constitution doesn't change, and yeah Australia is.
Still a hugely racist.
Country for the moment, but it doesn't change my view on my voice. Like I've worked really hard to find my voice. I'm not going to let a stupid legislation or referendum really diminish that if anything. And so when I was in damage control with the girls and trying to get them to not be so defeated the same way I was feeling defeated in that day, But at the same time, I was like, I'm going to be and sort of stand in my power to show them
that this will not defeat us. And you know, we wrote down it's like, okay, let's remind ourselves, like, let's boost ourselves up, let's boost our self esteem, let's boost why we are so proud of our culture and why we are so proud to be Aboriginal women. And I was with, you know, the group of girls, and we wrote down on this big butcher's paper in the middle of the table and I wrote in the middle and.
I said, why you proud to be Aboriginal?
We don't have any tourists right islander girls, So we just sort of wrote, you know, why are you proud to be Aboriginal?
And you know, a.
Lot of the things that the girls wrote, we're just you know, I've got a photo of it still to this day, and sometimes it used to be my wallpaper because it made me so happy to see why they were still so proud and why they should be proud and still continue to be proud. Girls wrote, you know, because my answers just came before me. They sacrificed so
much before me. I stand on their shoulders of giants and all these beautiful things, and they came up with them all themselves, and they were just having so much fun with it and seeing like them go from like being defeated to them being like inspired and being really happy and feeling that joy like I talk about that black joy. I was like, Okay, well I've done my job, but yeah, it doesn't mean it doesn't stop there.
It was like, okay, like how do I do this on a greater scale? You know, how do I?
And I guess it's just you know, inserting myself into systems and places, and you know, I have a podcast as well which we share a lot about First Nations things to hopefully educate and inspire people to change their minds.
But also it's not my job.
And I also don't really love the word reconciliation, Like I think, you know what that was a sort of invitation to reconcile, and that was an invitation to step
into the right direction as a nation. And Australia you know, told us that that's not what they want and that's unfortunate because you know, they've got so much to learn, I guess from First Nations culture and you know, now apparently a lot of First Nations people like, well it's reckoning, Like it's like, now we're going to go for it, and we're going to actually show you, like we will take up spaces where we belong.
And it's kind of like watched this space in a way in.
A positive manner, like we're very loving culture, we're very passionate, loving community, value you based.
We gave that invitation.
As an invitation to walk beside us, and unfortunately it wasn't received. But I don't want to always feel like I'm always on the mic and I'm always the spokesperson, because that becomes really tokenistic and it becomes exhausting, and I feel like those are the moments where you do have to put in boundaries and you're like, you have to really understand where are you placing your energy, and
I guess who is really listening to that. In moments, I'm like, well, why would I be doing that if it's not being received and it's not being protected or valued as much as I would like it to be.
And it's also not fair that that is your job constantly to be a spokesperson when other people are able to avoid talking about those things altogether, and you have to weigh into things or feel like you have to weigh into things simply because of your own identity, I wondered when it comes to your huge successes, things like
your book, which is everywhere. That's always my measure of how successful a book is that you walk into every bookshop and it's the first thing you see, and your book is everywhere and has been for a long time. Your book, your television career, all the opportunities that you have taken and succeeded at. Do you feel like you're good at celebrating those wins when you do really well?
No? Absolutely not.
I actually was just having this conversation today because I was telling a friend about a few moments that I've had this week and the last month, and they're really big moments.
I mean people that I've met and connected with and.
Comments and feedback that I received, and I was just so blase with it that my friend was like, wow, you do you really even process this information? Like do you really like actually take it in and realize like, wow,
like I am slaying life? And I was like, absolutely not, because I think like, regardless of status, or regardless of fame, or regardless of what I've achieved, there is always a part of me that's like just keep going and like, do more you can always do more, and it's not a very healthy mentality, but it's you know, it's a determined mentality. Like I'm a Capricorn, so we're like like very determined, we're very married to our career flash work life.
But then you know my other rising and other signs is also Capricorn. So I'm like referred to as a triple Capricorn, so like a triple marriage to a.
Work kind of girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I want to turn words into actions more.
I think for me, yes, I get the opportunity to talk and I get the opportunity to do all these things, which is really good, and I do it in hope that it encourages other people to do the same or encourages people to turn the words into actions, because when people do that, it kind of provides such a savor and better life for other people. You know, it's not
even about me. It's about other people. For me, it's about the younger generations that I work with that are coming through and if it's going to be easier and more successful for them, of course I would do that, Like I don't want them to go through what I had to go through and experience what I went through like I don't want young queer people as well, like not just fastinations people, but young queer people to not be feeling like they're valued in places and spaces like
that was probably the biggest thing and what drove me to be the bachelorette, because in my life I never really aspired to be the bachelorette. Like I was like, yeah, I'll throw it out, like yeah, sure, let's do this. But in my mind, I was like, I wasn't really doing it for myself, even if it was my love story.
At the end of day, I was actually probably doing it for a far greater.
Community and for more for the younger generations.
I can look back at that and be like.
Fuck, yeah, yeah. And I think that's an interesting philosophy around happiness that it feels like your own pursuit of happiness is less self referential and more community minded. The things that bring you joy are things that have meaning and supporting other people behind them as well.
Do you feel that, Yeah.
I think that's why I declared last year and sort of into this year more of a self slash soft girl error. I really felt that last year I felt really depleted and that I was giving a lot and not getting anything back in it. Not that I do that with intentions of that, but I was feeling none of it was really respected or received, so defeating me.
Like I was feeling like completely depleat me, like why was this even worth it?
Like you know that kind of to enter me kind of energy, And I was like, what is wrong with me?
And I was like, yeah, because I haven't really figured out.
What it is that I want to do rather than what I want to do for everyone else. So I had to really look within and I sort of retracted. And that's kind of why, you know, I started studying marriage celebrancy.
I'm still like kind of going through my.
Course at the moment. I am now studying acting as well. So that was one thing that I really figured out along the journey, like I wanted to do for myself, not for.
Anyone else, just for myself, to.
Figure out if I was actually good at something, because that's probably my biggest doubt, Like I'm good at a lot of things, like I'm probably mediocre out a lot of things, but am I really good at one thing?
So that's kind of how I was.
Feeling, and I think, you know, I need to celebrate the big wins, because writing a book is a huge win. Being the first of something is a huge wing, no matter what it is, right if it's bacheloround or or if it's just the first to graduate. In my family now, like we do really get around each other when we have a first of something. Yeah, my brother's just had
his first baby, Like that was a big deal. So there are so many firsts that is so special that are happening that have kind of forced me to remind myself of them.
So and to celebrate. Yeah, celebrate winds.
Exactly to experience joy the best, yeah kind of love that you can give yourself really.
Brook because of your experiences and what you've been through in terms of mental health, what you've witnessed, What have you learned about happiness that you can share with other people.
I think the biggest lesson, I guess, and the biggest learning for me is that not every single day, you know, like twenty four hours, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year, are you going.
To feel extremely happy.
I feel like you have to really look at it as life is really linear and it's up and down, and there are going to be moments when you experience a real lovely happiness, and there are going to be moments when you experience a little bit of sadness at the same time. But I think the bad days make the good days better and I think that's definitely what I've learned. And I think gratitude helps me appreciate happiness longer, Like I'm really happy, like and I feel really good.
I go into this really gratitude sort of mentality where I'm like, yeah, this is really good, Like I feel good. My god, I'm so grateful, like holy hell, And that makes me feel like that for longer. So then yeah, I do have a really shitty day, I do remember how good that felt in that moment.
Brooke Blatton, you have overcome the unthinkable to build a life for yourself that in many ways appears to have it all. But are you happy?
Oh? I would say that I am.
I am content, meaning that everything in my life is going in the trajectory of what I would like it to go. But there are some paths that I feel like I need to to find more happiness in. Well.
That is so interesting to know from the outside where you appear to be kicking all sorts of goals and there appears to be absolutely nothing that you set your mind to that you can't do. So it's an interesting contrast that you don't feel that all the time. But I think it's really important for people to know that sometimes you don't feel confident and you just go and do it anyway.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you get back on the horse.
Yeah yeah. There's something very special about brook Blowton. I loved learning from her about her culture, about what it's like to balance your needs as an individual with the needs of a community, and how a person can build a frankly unimaginable amount of resilience at such a young age. She's probably one of the best examples of a person who you could easily see from the outside a gorgeous, bubbly, lovable, successful person and assume that their life is uncomplicated, that
she's happy because she ostensibly has it all. But a lot of truths can exist within a single person at once, and you simply don't know the kinds of traumas and mental health struggles someone is going through from the surface, of course, you don't. You don't know if a person smiling and in love is also planning a funeral, And I think That's what you get from Brook that she deeply understands that reality, so gentle with others and with herself.
Join me next week for a conversation with media personality and chef khan Ong, where we talk about spending the first years of his life in a refugee camp, the unexpected tension he felt when seeing his face on TV, and why right now he should be happy but beneath the surface he just isn't.
But when I was in the jungle, when I was talking to everyone, I was like, I really want kids, but I think it's kind of right now that I'm thinking I need to start that process now. If I really do want kids, I need to start that process now. And the idea that scares me and makes me really upset is that I possibly might not have them.
Last week on the podcast, I spoke to Dave Bailey, who you might recognize as the lead singer of the band Glass Animals. We talked about what it felt like to write the biggest song in the world and be offered opportunities everyone in the music industry would kill for, and the funny feeling he still gets about leaving university where he was studying medicine to pursue a career in music. There's a link in the show notes to listen to that episode. If you enjoyed the podcast, please review and
subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. If you'd like to suggest someone for the podcast, you can get in touch with me directly. My Instagram handle is Claire dot Stevens, or you can email us here at podcast at mamamea dot com dot au. This episode was produced by Tarlie Blackman, with audio production by Scott Stronik. See you next week.