The Final Barstool x Bussin' Episode | Ari Shaffir Is Leaving Standup For A Year

All right, We're good.

You like.

Busting with the boys, hanging with the fans, betting on the game. No woman's gonna tell us would not be over here just drinking beer and making n baby. I'm hanging with the Fellers, busting with the boys.

Brot do these glasses, Bob?

I got them at home Goods, Home Goods because I felt like acting up.

Yeah, I see it.

I was kind of feeling myself because I got contacts. Now I don't have glasses.

And oh boy switched up.

Huh, I'm acting up.

An update on my uh my eyes run after these messages because today episode three seventeen, it is the last episode of Busting with the Boys. Under the barstool umbrella, let's give a round of applause to the Pirate ship. We absolutely love you. Thank you so much, holding.

Smile because it's happened. Should we do a moment of silence, moment of silence, Thank you.

We love you, We love you, and we also love our good friends who present us. We are presented by Chevy. Playoff season reminds us that every weekend counts to help you pack more into your weekend. Chevy has packed more in the Silverado trail Boss, more capability, more.

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To be honest, I thought they were talking about me for for a second, but we're talking about the Silverwadod Trail Boss as a truck that says no to nothing, tailgates, road trips, DIY projects like transforming an old bust into a record studio.

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Dude has a Silverado from myself, I say it all the time, Taylor.

What do you say?

Bring it on?

No doubt, dude, he says that. Sometimes I'll get a text in the morning five am just says bring it on. I'm like, what's this guy talk about? This is a boat tie right after that, Uh, that's because the silver Water Trail Boss has everything you need for anything the weekend calls for. With four hundred and ninety five pounds per feet of torque, the Z seventy one suspension and two inch factory lift, the trail Boss is top tier strength and agility paired with the latest truck tech inside

Isn't it crazy that starting next week? Yeah, we don't know what adds we're gonna be doing.

We don't know. We know, yeah, we know one, we know two. You're right, we do not we.

Know two, possibly four, possibly four. But if you do two plus two, that's four. Yeah, so that's how many Ada reads we have an idea about we might have maybe rumored fifth maybe where there's always Oh, I think there is a.

Fifth rumor there might be there might be.

How excited are you? Well, he's grabbed the mic.

I'm electrostatic.

This is all done. We've done the sadness, the farewell, the morning, the grieving of barstool, how much we've loved Barstool.

But at the same time, it feels like that last week of school where field days going to be taking place, right, trying to get people to sign your yearbooks.

Like it's just the vibes and love is there. But it's like we're about to go off to college, right, We're about to go off to the next chapter.

And who knows, right we might get We might get in our thirties. We might look back and go, wow, that was the greatest time of our lives. But right now we're excited about the opportunity for the future. Yeah, and that's what we're excited about, a optimism potential.

Yeah.

Ops ops ops ops.

How stoked are you guys, Let's see it from the back of the bus.

I'm super stoked. I'm really excited. Oh I feel like I struck out with the PMT stuff. Big Cat's not answering my dms. That's okay.

I think they found somebody new. They found a new shiny toy out in Canada.

Yeahah, they literally on the Canadian version of that.

He's a rocket, he's awesome, he's a beauty.

He can't be mad about it.

So did he get brought on full time?

I don't know he I know that they basically made him get a Twitter though he didn't have a Twitter before he went to part of my take, I've only seen the clips of this guy. By the way, horrible timing by part of my take. Horrible timing to get a Canadian producer after what Canada just did to us in the Four Nations tournament. That's crazy. We'll break all that down, we'll we'll we'll put that in a corner.

He's got good vibes.

He's got great vibes.

Three nut sacks? Does he really he has three nuts sacks?

How much do are you catching his sack? He's got three testicles or three balls?

Three nut sacks?

Hold on timeout.

Is nuts sacks?

Doesn't even make sense? A nut sack.

Would imply that multiple nuts or in that sack? Are you saying that he has a nutsack holding his two balls and then two separate sacks?

Sacks is a ball sack? And then to just wrinkle flaps on the side.

I think he's just maybe he's just got droopy balls. No, no, you've got a squirrel suit.

Oh yeah, he might have he has if that's all one sack, he might have a case of the dream. I do have a challenger, because I do have Yeah, I not tm I, but like I got it. I got the drop of sacks of all time.

You do a great has charged with the that you do.

Sure you're like the doing the bat wing from the movie waiting, Yes, thanks you.

I'll pass off the mic because I'm gonna pull up. I have a picture of the three Sacks.

I think that's okay.

I think I'm okay with that being on our bus.

Yeah, I mean we can see it.

Yeah, I love to see it. Maybe the viewer doesn't see it. Maybe we can show them a blurry scream. We'll show him a blurry screen. But just no, we'll see it in person. Going past it. The mic Mitch while he's pulling that up, so there's no dead time. How do you feel about these new lands?

I'm stoked to see what it looks like. I mean, from what it seems like nothing's gonna change.

So, I mean, it looks like sounds like nothing's changing.

Listening, Mitch is just somebody you just tell hey, buddy, nothing's gonna happen here. Yeah, no one, It's all good.

Sure, Yeah, I just I just know. I'm I'm good with in my lane of thinking, in my lane of work. So, but I mean, all the new opportunities and stuff that we're gonna have, it's gonna be it's gonna be awesome.

It's I'll tell you this, Mitch. Comfort is the enemy of growth.

Wa what do you want mean? Is that my saying I'm being comfortable right now. I just I'm comfortable with my land.

I'm in right now doing a great jobbing too.

He's uncomfortable for a second now that he knows.

You always got to stay only the paranoid survive. You gotta keep always be worried about who's going to get you?

Is this internet safe photo of the two empty sacks are driven out of his jewards in this photo?

Can we can we see up the real one?

But I just want but this is for the viewer. This is for the viewer.

Interesting arm placement by Big Cat. Hey Mitch, you're you're not in trouble, brother.

I don't know what what you're with that we can't get comfortable.

No, we gotta keep we gotta keep moving.

We're a big pond.

That's exactly what we're doing. We're getting We're going into uncharted territory. We're gonna see, we're gonna test the waters, and we're gonna crush it.

Heads on a swivel.

Keynote species keystone or keynote keystone species that did go so hard?

That did where we are?

Oh that's a sack?

Oh fuck yeah.

First off, good on him for the comfort to put those jorts on and know what was hanging.

Out that's.

That's discussing.

That's so.

I saw that photo this weekend and I thought that was just some lake fat. That's some some triple the see thick cut stuff.

Yeah, he's got a chip, a triple.

T scrap, three sack, triple T squote. Perfect transition to Jack McPherson.

How you feeling, buddy, Super excited.

I'm pumped.

We talked about all the time in the bus.

But like coming from the gravel lot, coming from the old abandoned church, no Wi Fi hotspot, no ac It's cool to see the growth of where we've come from where we're going. Hopefully we maintain that gritty aspect as we always have. Goooner Rex's mentality overall, very excited for what's to come. I think everyone's on that same page where just kind of a new chapter for us and kinda we know it's gonna happen, but at the same time, there's so much that you know it's gonna happen in

So pumped.

JP about the opportunity to go to some of these events that we were speaking on last week. We're gonna have some some opportunities to go to my personal bucket list events around the country, and it will be awesome to hopefully.

Be able to experience those things.

And also the new Obviously the barstool talent is awesome to work with and bounce off of, but I think the new guys that we'll be able to bounce off with as well is gonna be really fun. And it's going to be a new the same style of content but with new people, and I think it's going to bring like some new energy to our content and some.

Yeah, like you're speaking to too, some of that access we're gonna be getting.

As outstanding there is that? Is that bucke list for you?

Yeah, I would love Yeah, at least once.

I thought we could say that out loud.

Yeah, I think I think it'd be good to say it out loud.

Yeah.

The Derby Kentucky.

Derby Kentucky, that's what you were talking about, Kentucky Derby, NBA Finals, March Madness.

Going to check those things out would be awesome. She's got got the masters pulled up on the screen. There, that's a tough time. That's a tough time for us to go because that's spring tour.

Oh, I thought you were saying to time there.

I'm like, no, I think I think that would be really fun to go to to go to it. Everyone knows I'm not a huge golf guy, but it checked it out. Like have you been in the Masters and say, yes, I've been to waste management. I know what that's about. I'm messed with that. Look at JP stayed ready mm hmm.

And we get hit up.

There's there's a god I hate that we can't talk about it yet, but there is one brain move that I'm okay, should get rocked up for it. No, that's one too.

Oh but yes, the one that the one. Yeah you and I Yeah, chest bumping, Yeah, yeah, we'll see each.

Other every five minutes and just back go.

I know, because it is I don't want to say too much right now. Yeah, we don't want to say too much that we're teasing. We're plan I know, I know, and it is listen March one. Yeah, next week, next week, you guys will have we'll open this whole thing up. We'll world do a whole. We'll tell you everything about it.

Jack kind of allude to a little.

Yeah, it feels good, same thing everyone said. I think it's exciting to have new opportunity. You know, being uncomfortable is like the best thing for everybody. But yeah, good, good opportunities on the horizon, new people to be around, interact with. It's cool to see for sure, coming from the generator to you know where we are now.

We'll still be right here, We'll still be literally anywhere.

And what last week or two weeks ago, we had no Wi Fi for like a day and a half. So we still get adversi all the time, same guys.

And fucking Comcast dude, they've got to get their ship.

What was going on?

Saw your your Twitter?

I kind of just put something in.

You know how char has the bar threes here in Nashville, the two bar three spots you want to get into, you name those locations, Paddock Placed, they have bar threes. But anyway, hurt both of those businesses struggled with Wi Fi. They weren't getting WiFi all week. And who's their service partner?

Can I guess go ahead?

Comcast?

Yes? Oh my god.

So she says that I'm thinking, Yo, we're with comcasts too, And then that's when I got on That's what I got on Twitter.

Hey we were comcasts?

Also? Were you the house? I heard no, no, because we don't have comcasts at the house. Okay, you know what I mean? Like we were solid?

Yeah, but I don't know what your I don't know what your internet provider is. But anytime we get on the game at night.

Like you you will.

You and Jack are the ones that lag out the most.

What do I have?

I have Fiber? I have one of the fibers. I actually have good Internet. I think it's like you know how you'll go into Xbox and it's like the PvP. Do you know what I'm talking about?

Jack? Like, Uh, it's got this GNAT type inn at? Have you guys a what I'm talking about? I sound crazy right now, but I know people.

You sound a little crazy to me. I don't know.

There's a type that it's like if it's not all access, like if there's middle ground, it kind of hurts, is like connecting the other players and everything else. Yeah, so that was the issue I was struggling with. I ultimately just had to reset the mode and then yeah, you know what I mean, seconds to the point where you're like, hey, should I time this or is it kind of just a guest on thirty seconds has had to be thirty seconds.

Let me just go ahead and wait a minute.

Just in case, just admit, yeah, dude, because I don't want to have to come back down here, no doubt.

Is there ever a time that thirty seconds goes by slower than round It's like I might as well be an hour and a half.

Yeah, it takes forever.

You want to do it right because you don't have to have to be back there doing the same, no doubt, no doubt.

Like that type I got, like this the sport home like thing. Anytime anything goes down, it's like in this room, like the specific little room with all the things.

Are, but it's locked. I don't have a key. About to call somebody be like, hey, what do I do? He's like keys under the mat over here.

I like, go do it myself, and then I literally I literally, I open it up and I look at this thing and I'm like, what button do I press?

It's just crazy. It's nineteen seventies computers. Boys, I'm not going to play tonight.

Yeah, I just it's not even worth it. Yeah, keep on pushing forward. So, yeah, we got excited, right, We're greener pastures. We hope it's gonna be. Really I'm super stoked about the opportunity of the access, the ability new characters to kind of like hang out with collaborate with it. It'll be a lot of fun. That's good news. Let's talk about some bad news.

Canada.

Canada, they got us, dude, terrible. It's been terrible. It's been terrible at home and it wasn't.

It feels like you should be wearing a Canadian jersey right now. Yeah.

Taylor said something to me like, if you lose you we have to do something, and she says something so outlandish. I was like, no, I'm not doing that, but if you want to make a bet, I'm down, like get like you have to get an American flag tattooed type of thing.

Yeah, something like that. But god, what a smoke show.

Great photo. The girl that had Yeah, she's.

All time got that herself. Yeah, you actually taught me how to fish.

Nice.

Yeah, yeah, But uh that game, dude, just going into it, I really thought there was not a chance in hell we lose that game. I didn't think there's James.

Now.

We came out of the game and for the first game, nine seconds, three fights, So I'm I'm expecting some sort of sparks to fly. It seemed like America thought they sent a message and we're kind of backing up a little bit, like Okay, now we're gonna play. They kind of fell into Canada's game of like, hey, we'll go speed for speed, match it up, and uh, I just didn't think they got physical enough in the beginning. They go up one oh, and I start to panic in

Bennington.

So Bennington, uh fun like literally when I'm in game goalie and he's the goalie for Canada.

Say Louis Blue, I learned.

Yeah, people have this. The country of Canada has basically disowned this cat for the last ten days, however long this tournament's going on. They said, this guy's a sieve. He sucks, like he's a mental head case. We can't get it done. SIV is like, uh, like if you put it like pasta, like when you're straining pasta and it has a bunch of holes in it. So he

What's our dude's name, Connor Hellibuck.

Hella Buck. I want to say Halifax, but Hallibuck like dude, he played. He played amazing Halifax Highlanders. Baby, he played amazing all tournament. But I'm just thinking to myself, Bro, we should have won that game, like we outplayed them.

Calling my wife.

She's got her whole family in her mom's apartment. They're chirping at me. We're going back and forth talking about Wayne Gretzy's the captain. I'm like, he can't save you. He's too old.

We have micro Yeah, we have micro the ultimate locker.

Room guy, Like what do you want? Like, what do you can go?

Tip for tat?

No problem.

So it just sucks, man, it sucks.

Gotta shoot it better man the minute, Yeah, for sure the minute they.

I'm like, damn, this guy's a savage. You've got it. You gotta place it better on the net.

What's amazing to me about hockey is these dudes will be in the game faster. These dudes will be in the boards guys, and they'll be like in traffic and they'll just throw the puck like across the ice and they're boys right there, like they know where everybody's at. It is crazy. The amount of chemistry and flow and like poetic movement these cats have and there's always aware where each other at.

It is nuts. Yeah, it's impressive. I just think they're out there skate.

Yeah.

I just think they're out there just playing like.

Shu you you watched that and you're like, I could do this.

Oh I don't think that.

What's what I think to myself?

So I'm like, yo, I think that would be awesome.

We were talking about it, like how fast they're moving out there for how tight of an area it can be. It's insane crazy, Like I don't know the actual distance between blue lines, but it's not big and you're flying.

Yeah.

I just think it's that game was so crazy because it's so much fall. It's their all Star week and they're just out there laying it on the line.

For their country.

They played games on Saturday.

Yeah, back to the NHL.

Back to the NHL. Literally, those guys who were on opposite teams hating each other just went back to being on the same team.

Like when we lost, like, sorry.

About that, Oh yeah, no problem, but let's get.

When we lost. I was bummed.

Yeah, the Americans were tight, Canadians were and they're like, oh, you know.

When we lost.

Just seeing the defeat on Team USA like to me, like, yeah, I was bummed at the USA lost, But I don't really watch hockey. I'm kind of watching because the country is like the moment that this thing was shaping up to be. I didn't even know what the Four Nations was. Then you're learning that it's just a tournament in the middle of the season and these guys are just it's all for pride.

It's brand. Was the first year seeing the defeat. This year was the very first, very first year they did it. Yeah, and seeing just.

Just how down bad Team USA was, I just I fucked with it, not because they lost, but because of how much these guys care about this one solo game. And ultimately it's like in their world that the NHL and everything else like it doesn't matter right right, But it does. And it's like that little kid that's like watching all these these leagues in these games in the nineties, it was all about work, I think, and pride and

Yeah, it was like it was the most watch game in the last thirty years of hockey. The most watched game was just nuts. It's it's crazy. And like my brother, So my brother played junior hockey. He I was my dad's from Minnesota. Like I was like a little bit in that world. Like I spent a lot of time as a kid at the icet End in Scott's, Arizona, where my brother would always go. So it was always I kind of had like a basic, very like one

How all that arena seemed to be Like, yes, dude, everyone is bought in, like that was an Olympic gold medal being played for.

That was and it was for nothing. Yeah, like you guys got hats in a trophy that essentially, like I guess it means something now like no no Olpen Medal, nos Stanley Cup and the energy was Stanley Cup Finals. It was intense. It was awesome. Y'all been to Preds games. They're dude, the intensity is unbelievable. And how many games those guys play, what do they play? Like, how many games they play?

Eighty three eighty two a year.

And just to come up with that kind of intensity week in and week out is just wild.

We play eighty two and then you get into a playoff.

Series series best of seven, seven.

For four rounds.

Crazy, man, just crazy, But yeah, it is. It is interesting because like we don't know a lot about basketball, would love to jump into basketball a little bit more and kind of figure that world out. But at the same time, like you watched some of the clips from the All Star Game when they're doing the three point shooting and they're just going for time, so they're kind of just throwing the ball on the ground and they

I wonder how you can spice it up, Like, is there something similar that the NBA could take from the NHL to do JP. I know you're our NBA expert expert.

Back in middle school, I was the expert. I just think I was telling you guys this the other day. Like in a lot of sports, I believe and I want athletes to get paid, but I think they're overpaid because even when we're growing up, they're not. The eighth guy on the roster is not getting the eighty million dollar contract. So they show up to the All Star Game, they want to win the skills competition. Everybody wants to compete in the dunk contest. You want to win the

Because that's what was PK was talking about.

He's like, there's a difference between between being hurt and being injured, right and NH like us were playing hurt.

They play the same amount of games eighty one in the NBA, eighty two in the NHL, and you don't see guys in the NHL doing rest and then.

They've it like weeks.

But yeah, I think the NBA like they're losing the fans just because we can tell that, like the heart's not in it and it used to be in it and now it's just kind of it.

There's a level privately used to come with it, right, right, that got that much money and you're like sitting on the bench playing only a couple of minutes a game, like like I'm sorry, it's hard to sit there and be like, yo, I'm gonna go balls out on this all start thing that really means nothing.

And especially when you're in the middle of the season, you gotta you gotta think about you know, you're thinking about injuries, like, hey, this is this is very especially when you're getting paid the amount you're getting paid, because I think that's fair to say.

It's like that's not right, Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think like Matt Stafford, he's asking for fifty million. And again, I love sports. I want people to get rich, but no athlete should be getting paid fifty million a year. I know that could be a hot take, but like there's so many other things out there, and like people and you fans see it.

What's what's a fair number to you?

I don't know.

I mean, yeah, teams try to do that with contracts. Teams try to do more incentive.

Yeah, but it's remember the guys that are like commanding the like the most money. Yeah, the guys with the incentives are never the dudes they are like the highest paid with incentives up to even higher paid. Yeah, it's always the guys that like, you know, maybe they got hurt and they got they gotta have approved deal, or you know, if they get this many yards something that the team will sit there and be like essentially you're gambling.

It is tough.

I understand where you're coming from. I don't have a line to draw right now. I just it'd be crazy to be like because initially just not Stafford, I'm thinking to myself, like, if you command fifty million dollars, you should get fifty million dollars.

Yeah.

Yeah, I wouldn't want to get your Yeah, but I do.

Like I think fans now more so than ever, are getting fed up with athletes because you see guys in the NFL, they're walking out on their team, Guys in the NBA are sitting out, and it's like, yeah, college football people are sitting out and getting paid and as the fan, you're just like, again, I want them to be rich all these things, but like, man, like put it pour in your heart to it how everybody feels they would if they were in that position.

Yeah, it's unfortunate because it's one of those like it is what it is situations, right, because you grow up like we're all we were all young athletes growing up aspiring to play professional sports, and it's like there's this love of the game, this love of the game, this grit is hunger, this heart, all of it that goes involved.

And when you're a.

Fan, it's you hold that same mentality and standard, whereas as you're a player getting to learn it and realizing you're ultimately in a business and you get used up as a commodity, and then you taste the business a little bit and it creates a little bit of that bitterness and it's hard to you kind of like it's like some of it gets lost because you're also realizing that you are in a business, and it is such a business that makes hundreds of millions of dollars, and if

It's like you want everything incentive base.

But then when you got the guaranteed contracts in NBA even NHL, it's like, I know, the NFL works, wants to work toward a sport for one hundred percent guarantee contracts in a sport that is, you know, has one hundred percent injury rate. So it's it's so much negotiating and so much business that all of that gets lost. You start to get removed from that little kid who grew up loving the game. You still love the game, but you realize that they view you as a commodity.

There is something is like, yeah, I work for a company and I'm viewed as a commodity and they could fire me, they could do whatever they want to me, and that the employee wants power with the employer. Yeah, so it's like that's why they get so frustrated with the athlete stuff. It's like everybody gets it, and ultimately everybody does want the same thing, YEA, like everybody be treated fairly. But it's just wild to me. And you look at all of the favorite players amongst the people.

It is different that one statement because football is only seventeen games in the regular season as opposed to eighty two, eighty three, one hundred for whatever for baseball, So I mean I get both sides.

It is. The thing is is you when you.

Grow up and you play a sport. We've all played sports, and you like have a love and a passion for that sport whatever whatever it was.

That you played.

And then you get to college when Will and I played, it's like that school is just all into you, like, how can we make this guy better, better, academically better so he can be better for our football team life skill.

Yeah.

Now, it's like guys are players seem like they have all the leverage in college football as opposed to in the NFL, when it's more like you it's definitely display.

Yeah, but when you're one to understand who's getting paid what.

When you're in a like when will it win? Back in our day, like twenty thirteen, twenty fourteen, when we get into the league. I remember sitting there for the first cuts and you know, there's ninety three guys in a team, and you sit there and like the next day there's you know, seventy two being then this should be another cut that gets down to fifty three. The next thing, you're like, Yo, what the fuck is this? This is crazy? And that's when that's when it really starts.

Yeah, that makes sense.

And I was just gonna add, like, I don't think it's a league thing, Like the types of people that are like in the NHL are different than in the NBA. I think it truly is, like you are saying, with the money, it's just apathy is a natural thing. It Filming av log and editing it for JP is as second nature as an NBA player dunking a basketball. So if JP's getting paid twenty million dollars to film a vlog for you guys, he's gonna be staying there going why the fuck am I doing this? Like why am

Like it's just.

I don't know, I feel like it's a natural things.

Yeah, but I think if I said, like, you know, someone paying you twenty million dollars to make a volog, It's like you've made the best guy damn vlogg ever win.

You You would think you would think million to play in the NBA.

You better show up every single night like you're making twenty million dollars.

Yeah fair point, Yeah, fair point.

But NBA is like not the only one that does a subpar All Star game. Like we watched the Pro Bowl, Like we actually don't watch the Pro Bowl. It's like, yeah, they're doing like sled pushes and shit now and even lucky enough to play in a couple of them bad boys. Like when I played it, there was actual game and the game was like you jow. You're like, especially in a jog throw while fans are watching you a couple

Know, I mean Sidney Crosby. And my wife was like, is that Sidney Crosby son? And I'm like, no, he's still playing.

Still playing, like Jevity seems so much longer with the hockey. Twenty six years he's been playing international games and just dominating.

Yeah, fucking do it again too.

One thing that is crazy about hockey, though, is like you're on the only on the ice for like fifteen seconds.

Yeah, yeah, like a long.

Shift is a minute. Yeah.

But that's why the boys go so hard.

That's why you can go hard way long, man. And when you stop moving, you're still moving.

Yeah, You're just just going forward.

So it is crazy.

It is nuts, ma'am.

It's an interesting conversation to talk about because, yeah, I understand all those different angles. It's like you want those things and selfishly from the player perspective, when you realize, hey, when these cheers and booze die out, like who's going to be standing there next to you? And it's like you ultimately it's like your family and people that are going to be with you after you've you've left the sport.

So you need to figure out how to juice as much as you can out of that sport while you're playing that sport. Yeah, how do you want to be remembered? Tough? Yeah, tough.

Look for the NBA, they took a hard out, they took a hard out.

And football, I feel like it's hard just because you can't, like we couldn't do a tournament like that because you're not able to play multiple games.

And I feel like we would be the first one, not the first ones. But I think it's easier for us to like give an excuse to football because they could they could argue, you guys play an eighth of the games we play per year. You guys only play hardly at all, Like, how is it that hard? And hockey is super Hockey is played in the boards.

Yeah yeah, yeah.

Come on hockey is so physical too, though.

Not a physical No, it's physical. No, No, you're right, you're right.

Football is the most physical sport.

Yeah maybe rugby probably not the fuck rugby. I don't even.

Rugby rugby sarcy, Yeah, everyone does.

There's the scrum, everyone's locking up. God, so much we don't know about sports.

Is pretty violent.

Yeah, that's probably a couple of times a year they do. I mean you fight a lot. What are you fighting three times a year?

Yeah?

Yeah, you're fighting a lot.

You're in camp for twenty four weeks.

Yeah, we should We should do his adway, and then we obviously should talk about Michael Chandler get his next fight.

Yeah, big fight coming up?

Yeadymin you want to hit that that ad?

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Mustine Chandler fighting Patty pimblet that his name Paddy Pimble's get right offross from Mike back in the octagon quickly quickly, man, I mean we can go around and circle and say with who we think are gonna win Mike first round.

This is busting with the boys. Mike Chandler is our fighter.

He's our boy. That's our fucking guy.

It's gonna be JP.

How do you feel about the fight? NBA UFC expert tuning in chiming in.

I love it for Mike.

It's a big name that he gets to fight against that brings a lot of buzz to every fight. And even Mike has had almost all great fights, but I would say of all of the people he's fought, Patty is probably the best promoter out of Olavera hooker. Poier is a good promoter just because he's been there for so long. But you even see Dustin Poitier on Twitter, who he has called Micah bitch all the different things he says, all the bad things about him, but he's like,

Yeahs like and you're right too.

The marketability of Patty and his promotional style, like him going to that that gym not too long ago and tapping out that. Yeah, that was it a troll? Was it a fighter that had sent some off fan ship to ye?

Some guy was talking shit, so he just pulled up on him.

Him and his team, they pulled up, They circled around. It was this little gym. They put some they put some pads on and they went and Patty had him choked out and the dude was tapping out and Paddy wouldn't let him go.

Yeah, put him asleep for real?

Yeah, well did he? I don't know if he wanted to put him to sleep, but Patty just wasn't letting go to where everybody had to kind of jump in and break him up. Like it was. It was fueled. It was like real. It was like real hate that they're fighting.

And stylistically, I think it's the first time Mike has fought somebody that also will he's a little bit more calculated, but he's down to go bass to the wall and.

Just put on a show.

You got some fireworks.

Fireworks in Miami, which good for Mike pay wise. I guess the same would be the same as Vegas, but he still hasn't got the Vegas.

I know, I hit him up. I was like, I swear to God. At this point, it's like a joke. I know they don't let you fight in Vegas.

He's like, I know.

I was pissed back too, But Miami is awesome. It's gonna be awesome. I think he wants to fight again quickly.

I would imagine he would because he's I mean, dude, he's played his matchup game so well. Yeah, he's always fought a big name. Patty is, you know, lower ranked but huge name, and it's gonna set him up for another probably top five matchup. And usually if you have Mike's record, you probably wouldn't be getting all those matchups.

Yeah, but.

You want to fight somebody quick too, because you know he's not getting any younger. True, he's like older in the fight game, and you got to get it while you can.

The McGregor thing, having like what two years off. Yeah, but yeah, I mean you brought the record like going too and four in the UFC, Like it doesn't feel like Mike's gone to and four at all. Feel like he's undefeated because every fighting he goes into even the olive air one, which we can look at those first four rounds he.

Lost, He didn't.

He was there on the ground, looks like he was resting. But in that fifth round it kind of erased the other four in your mind. The result was still the same. But like watching it, you're like, I mean, JP, we were there. You know what I'm talking about. Knows what I'm talking about.

The Internet, he pointed, and he dude, comcast man, oh yeah, we comcastcast.

Yeah, god we cost Yeah.

But when in that fifth round, you and I are there over the shoulders of Tulci gabrn RFK screaming at the tarp lungs thinking he's gonna end it right here, and then stands up in the middle of the ring with thirty seconds.

Left and body slams him.

With the smile on his face.

He just says, fuck it, does it?

They say we're at the end of the violence era of UFC because Michael be on his way out, Pourier is on his way out, Gaechee on his way out, Holloway on his way out, Voke on his way out. All those guys put on shows and now feather waits they still have good championship fights. But all these other dudes are just a lot of grapplers that they're.

Not they're not violent, more tactical.

Yeah, obviously they're violent.

Yeah, but yeah, the pussy's out there, pussify.

Internet's back, just like that Internet's back. Yeah, but dude, shout out Mike. I know he went out to camp excited to watch the boy. I don't think we'll be able to make it because we'll.

Be spring to spring toward it up stuff with the Spring Tour. Yeah, so anyway, fingers crossed, fingers.

Cross, I think, yeah, I think we're dialed. Have you heard from uh yeah from your Yeah, and they're like, yeah, we're we're on board with that for sure. They think, uh, we'll talk, we'll talk. But I think Spring Tour is gonna be awesome.

We can talk about who it is, right, Yeah, I mean a couple of the Yeah, a couple of Alma matters as always, because the access we get there, I mean, Nebraska doing the whole New n I L World, not doing the Spring Game. There's gonna be a lot of theatrics going on for their for their day spring.

I don't even know what we call it anymore. Oregon looking to get out do a lot of cool stuff back to Oregon.

We got to get Marcus to come out with us. Yeah, we need to get Marcus to come out with us.

What are we What are we hearing from mission there?

I've told them kind of like my like perfect world, how that would look with the uniforms and everything, and they weren't like against their like, hey, we got to talk to a couple of people, but like we're down to get you guys involved. I don't think it'll be like in the spring game, because I think they're kind of going they might be going the route everybody else is going. I don't know what their plans are. I don't think they know their plans are yet, but the.

Route of canceling their spring game, yeah.

I just don't know.

It seemed like the New World everyone's kind of doing that. They I didn't really like test the waters on the spring who started it as U.

B Yu ruling Nebraska Really yeah Pioneers.

And wow, I thought b Yu did man any canceling games left and right?

Any comments on y'all? I've said my comments.

Yeah, yeah, that is nuts.

I mean it's been how we signed this contract in two thousand and six, Hey.

JP, did we not six? The landscape of college football was a lot different?

My friend, I mean, do you have any words?

Yeah, just as as an alumni, as a guy who played on the team, are you is it not seem a little cowardice?

Does not seem a little like, hey.

We're not actually where we want to be currently in twenty twenty five.

I don't think it means that at all. I think there's financial there's a financial strategy to it. I think even strategy wise, the committee shows that they don't value strength of schedule. So even beating you guys, there's no upside. There's no upside even you guys, if you guys were to beat us, there's no upside in you guys beating Nebraska. It's only downside. You might as well cancel the game, throw bowling green in Miami, Ohio.

On the schedule.

They can get the rest whip that can be at home. Financially, we're made whole and you have more money to pay these players that are commanding higher salaries going into college football.

Two trains with out here too.

But as a fan, but as a fan, I am bummed this game is not happening because I feel like the historic programs of Nebraska and Tennessee, seeing that red, seeing that orange out there playing against each other two years in a row, especially us being located in Nashville, knowing our ties to both schools. I was so excited for those games, but seeing it get canceled, like, look, it's.

Business, it's fucking business. Whooping your ass does nothing for Nebraska. Are going seven and six this year.

Let's calm down.

Bet money on that, all right.

You're saying, I'll say we win more than seven games. You're saying seven or less.

I say Tennessee will win more games.

No, no, no, no, don't change his bet. Now you said we're going seven and six. Sure, five hundred. That's fun, Jez, that's.

Come on, man, that's I mean, we know in history.

I hate doing it, dude. We do no history reals. Third year don't wins reruals third year in every program don't digit wins. But he didn't. He didn't have a turn around.

The second year he won more than one. Guess what a the first year and seven, last year, six and six this year, he'd be.

Right where he needs to be in the seven and six.

Year if you won one or two more games.

You're right, we're winning ten this year.

I hope you do.

But you gotta play Michigan.

You said that's a tough bet for me. Yes, you don't think we're gonna win more than seven? Dog?

Can we have a yes or no? Can we have a logical conversation? Can we just sit here?

Do you believe that we're gonna win more than seven games this year?

Do you remember?

Yes or no?

I am going okay, let me just say maybe because I can see both sides. I can see I know the rule jump, I think can I this year? Can I go through my fucking I'm asking the questions I know, and I'll give you an answer, a long winded answer. Let me do the weave on you like forty seven? Rule does show that he makes a jump in the third. However, you guys have only you guys went five and seven and then what did JP and I say? Six and six? You're getting pissed out?

You the same time you have right now?

Seven? Come on, we won seven?

We went seven and five this year and we beat up bab I don't I don't get it's a bowl game.

Let's get let's get to the part where we talk about let's get to the part where we talk about this year.

History, stats, everything shows you guys go seven and five this year, a strong seven and five.

Okay, So let's have a bet. Do you think you bet with Jack?

I don't want you and I will have our bet and our bet will come September twentieth.

I want to know if you think we'll win more than eight or more games this year? Eight or more?

Yeah, like you're personally, you're sitting in a room by yourself. Do you think we're gonna win eight or more games this year? And don't think about Will Compton? Okay, I was gonna say about none of this year? Right, if I'm not thinking about Will Compton.

I was gonna say.

Mike Eckler goes back to Lincoln. Does he kind of whisper in some ears? Hey, if we continue with this, we're gonna get our asses well by Tennessee.

I tell you what.

You don't want to know what he actually thinks about when he saw this roster, this pat with this first week at work. I do you don't want to actually know?

I do want to know. Can you tell us?

Hey, listen, loose lips, think chips. I'm not going to talk about my private conversation. Also, just letting you know you would like to know what he thought. You would love to know what he thought.

So because it involves whooping your knd.

Ass, y'all are paying his five hundred grand to pull out?

Yeah, because I think we make more money having the two home games.

Also, Jack, Jack, it's not it's not your best interest to play about home. I would love you guys only have you guys only have two teams. You guys only played the same team like one one an accountant. It was a house state universe. They lost twenty one to fourteen. Y'all lost by.

Forty Okay, that was an entirely different Ohio State team when they played lost that I'm saying.

I'm saying, sorry, you're right, I forgot that we had a common opponent, you had a common opponent anything.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm saying what I'm saying, it's probably not your best interest to play.

Yeah, I see what you're saying.

Flip flaw ask conversation, y'all. Oh oh, but to answer your question, I would probably your lesson eight.

Okay, we'll find a bet.

No, we found We're going to find our bet on, but it's going to be around that. We'll have our bet.

We found our bet it's going to be around over seven and a half wins.

Why don't we just been on the bus.

We'll bet on the bus and ball two. We can have more than one, bet.

Tyler, Why don't you go through and predicted this schedule because we know what Will's can do.

We're party the schedules in March, now, I guess are in February.

February, yeah, yeah, this is usually we do it way earlier. We do it right after the season. Cincinnati toss up, toss up, that's the Kelsey Bull. That's gonna be an arrowhead. It's gonna be we'll say Cincinnati takes that one. Akward's a dub Houston Houston Christian. Yeah, that's okay, that's a dub SO two and one Michigan. I mean, buddy, you're going that's that's two and two Michigan State. I see a dub Maryland. I see a dub Minnesota. Scrappy boys,

And then Iowa.

You should beat Iowa every year, but you don't.

Five and seven wasn't it. Let's give him Cincinnati.

Mines. I don't know, du because.

Minnesota's October, mid October.

They have an outdoor stadium. Bro the Gophers. You guys know how to feel about the Gophers. I'll give them a revenge game.

Revenge game at U c l A. Seven and five.

That's a tough that's a tough schedule, that's a hard skalu.

We played nine conference games in the hardest conference in.

The hardest conference. Yeah, I mean that's I can look at this. I can look at this and for sure see seven and five.

That's not it.

I could definitely, but I think his opinion is that's a proud seven and five.

Yeah, a proud seven and five.

You were yourself.

But the Pinstripe, Realistically, what games are you all losing on this schedule?

Real?

Realistic? Realistically, I'll say.

Realistically, And I love Nebraska.

Maybe Penn State Okay, because we're at because we're at Penn State. Yeah, look, I think we're getting double digit wins.

You think you go in the playoffs this year? If we're a ten and two Big ten team, Yes, we were in the playoffs this year. You're gonna beat Michigan. I think we can beat you guys. Absolutely. Would you guys do last year? Guys didn't do ship last year?

Only on right team the consecutive to beat top fifteen teams.

That's that's something like, would you do this year? We beat Alehouse State?

Who then we have the same record.

No, we went seven and five, you went six and six.

We went seven and six.

Okay, Then if by that logic we win and you go five.

Okay, one game above. Of course, I think we can beat you guys in at home bust and ball.

What's on the line.

What happened last time?

Yeah, we got killed. We got I'm saying that doesn't mean it's a saying it's not the same ball club.

You're right, it's not the same ball up. We might be better.

Let's pull up Michigan schedule.

We might be better.

Pull up Michigan schedule.

I mean, if this Bryce Underwood is who we think he is, we might win it all.

No, he's got it, dude, He's got it.

If you if you knew.

What I knew in the conversations I had, he's all right.

New Mexico A.

You go ahead.

Well, w AT Oklahoma lost a lot of players. They lost top three most players in the transfer portal.

I'll give you a W Central Michigan W. Nebraska L Okay Wisconsin toss up. I'll give you w AT USC L versus Washington, w AT Michigan State, W.

Purdue W. Northwestern, Jesus W Maryland w Ohio State loss.

So was that? Hold on? Do you think we lose a hou State?

I think they get you guys. This year we'd beat them.

We had no pass we have passing turned off.

I understand you face them the playoff. You're getting tossed around like everybody else did.

That's nine ones according to Will Compton.

Yeah, look, I think you guys got a good football club.

Will was real.

Taylor was just kind of doing it a little bit out of spite.

We know how he operates.

I don't think Nebraska will lose to Minnesota.

Dog.

Minnesota is the amount of conference, It's the amount of time you took on Northwestern too.

Yeah, Northwestern doesn't even have a stadium.

Cincinnati toss up dog. You said l I think with Cincinnati, and then you came back around sad. I'll give you Sinnai because you only give us five wins.

It is neutral site, neutral site, neutral sites at Arrowhead. That's like a home game for Nebraska. We're two hours north, they are two hours north, two hours north.

I don't know that I'm geography. I will say I ended up at seven and five.

Yeah, beating Oklahoma in Norman is no easy task.

No doubt, no doubt.

I will say I agree, Yeah, I don't. I don't disagree with that.

He is coaching for his life.

I don't like the Ohio State.

We beat him four times in a row.

I know nobody's gonna correct. It's not that you guys are just gonna go undefeated forever. I mean Ohio States, the national defending national champions. Like they're reloading on their squad, get it, and they have continuity with their staff and everything else, like they're just billing.

They lost everybody, what do you mean continuity of their staff? They lost their OC, they lost their DC. They but they're they're hiring internal, They hired one internal, They hired R. Heartline, who I big fan of hardline as the OC.

And then they bring in a beast for Oh yeah, they bought in Matt Patre.

Yeah.

Look I got you guys winning nine games.

I'm pretty sure wink Martinale still there, still staying too. Yeah, I think seven I mean, I don't think seven five is disrespectful to you guys. I'm a I'm a corn Husker.

Second, you're not. You're not a corner Husker.

Come on, man, come on, man, you know you know I respect you're not. When I go there, do I not say how awesome it is you're in.

You're in the octagon.

I didn't like the place. I would say, didn't like the place I was in the hostas.

I didn't like the place.

He wore the corn cob on his head.

I wore the corn cob in my head.

I know you did.

I was supporting you do.

It needs to be done, you do, it needs to be there. Here he goes again, Here he goes.

He supports Nebraska.

He needs to be done. Yeah, like seventy five. That's that's not disrespectful to you guys. That's that's sure.

If I said, hey, I think your ball comes is gonna get better next year.

That's not getting better winning seven games again, it's he.

Said, you guys with your bull get then Okay, now you're eight and five, Like, what are we talking about, you guys?

Regular season?

Listen. I heard what you said. I heard what you said. Man, you're not a Husker.

You're right. I'm a Wolverraine. However, all right, I love the Huskers.

You can love the Huskers, but we all know. We all know what's happening. We all know what's happened. We all know what's happening. It's all good. I know where you stand.

Yeah you do.

Yeah, Bert Kreischer, we gotta promo his bullshit because he won the bench competition out at the Super Bowl and the Las Vegas Show Double Down March twenty first and March twenty second at Resorts World Theater in Las Vegas. Tickets on sale at Bert Bertburt dot com. Oh two Bears five K. We got to promote this too. I thought we were just promoting his tours.

We I had to do this last week too. I read it, but I wasn't happy about it. The deal was one at of it, right, Yeah, like.

I thought it was just promote his tour all year long. Yeah, him on to get him on the phone.

Two Bears five K is on May fourth at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa. But if you can't make it to Florida, you can run virtually finish the five k by the end of May and you'll receive the same metal T shirt and hint and headband. Register at two Bears five k dot com. Earlier pricing ends this week. Why have two websites you can follow Bert Kreischer.

You see he's trying to do another bet with squatting.

Yeah, he was trying to say four hundred. It's like dog, Yeah, you can get four hundred.

Yeah, we gotta beat Bert something. Maybe you run the five k this year.

I'll run the five k. No answer scared, I'll be good.

Like, oh, try to just try to intercept it all. Hey, I know you won the bet that where we have to promo with the entire year, but you do the opportunity to kill it.

I haven't ran in a while, but I would do a five K. I think you can smacked that. I mean I think I could be Bert.

Yeah, Birth's a bit of a runner though he did it twice last year, right, yeah, he got you, got you? Well he did it with then he like go back and run it with Jelly. Yeah, walked one, ran one, wats one ran one?

What else do we have for we getting an Ari Shafir By the way, the Ri Shafir episode that's about us as podcast as you can get we, I mean the just good old fashioned podcasting, good old fashioned podcasting.

This dude. The the amount of just.

Doesn't give a fuck jokes he talks about is all time. He was known for, I know back in in in my era of being a young young thundercat in middle school, he was the one who did the uh the YouTube episode is called the Amazing Racist, so funny and h that's him. I thought he was dead. I remember I was telling him on the episode a few months back. I was kind of looking up whatever happened to this guy?

What he was doing. Then I learned that he's one of the the mainstays on the The Park episodes. Though yeah, say protect our part.

Yeah, protect our parks for Joe Rogan, He's like, oh shitty, he seems like he's thriving.

It was so great.

I mean the first twenty five thirty minutes just talking about drugs. Yeah, awesome. Yeah, and then the amazing racist to sit there and watch the will you watch those videos with him and to be like you did anybody ever look at you would say, hey, probably.

Don't do this. Yeah? It was awesome, man, it was great. Let's talk about Kevin's Natural Foods though.

Just real quick.

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They are made clean, simple ingredients and the whole barstool team loves them. Kick off twenty twenty five with Kevin's and make it your healthiest and tastiest year yet. Find Kevin's Natural Foods in the refrigerated section at your local grocery store. Now, great pivot. I came in this morning, JP decided to scare the shit out of me with a taser in his hand. Now, I don't know if my boy's getting to self defense classes or what it is.

Is that what I'm am?

I following the bouncing ball correctly.

Yeah, my shot out, no free shot out of the week goes to hustling salesman. Yes, yeah, that's why I shout out over he shout out. I thought, you mean, no, you don't ever hustle somebody who just walks in your door of operation or not. No, Yeah, barges in. Nobody knew who he was. He's just walking in and I'm kind of sitting there because the lights buying him. Stryn is no, we didn't knock?

Was that?

Boys?

What we got going on in here?

What we got going on in here? And I'm thinking, what the fuck's going on here? And he's like, yeah, yeah, mister miltick Man, we should talk about seference.

But stay on track. He comes in.

He's like, I got these uh, I got these tasers. We're going door to door and selling some company we're offloading, and we're selling them for dirt cheap because they're they're canceling, they're they're getting rid of all their inventory. So he's like, usually they go for about one hundred and thirty bucks a pop, but I can get to you guys for twenty four to ninety nine. And Jery comes up to me and I'm like, don't worry, we're not gonna buy anything.

Shown this this utility.

Flashlight where it can strob, it can be bright, it could be damn. You charge him up their high powdered and Nanny turns on the taser and when he ripped the taser. I thought to myself, Oh, I could use a couple of these. Charle could have one in a car, We can have one at home. You just never know the wife. Yeah, the wife would whoa.

I would not.

I would not.

I'm not gonna uh And I'm thinking the wife would thrive with one of these.

These would be good. So I was like, do you take cash? And he said absolutely sorry, ran out to my truck, my Chevy c or two Silverado.

I grabbed the Hunter and I was like, can I get four of these? He's like yeah, it was running about one o nine. I could give it to you and eat that nine dollars. But I'm like, hey, don't even worry about it, man, we'll get you nine more bucks. Mitch comes out of nowhere with ten extra dollars. The entire the entire shop bought a taser that day. Shit well yeah yeah, And after he left, we all got out our tasers. We all held him up and just started ripping it in solidarity. No shit, it was so loud,

No way, yeah, that's that tip the cap.

Hey.

We knew, we knew he's hustled, but the thought of one hundred and thirty of pop is crazy. And his boy comes in. A second guy comes in the door mid pitch. A second buddy comes in the door with a box himself, so you just know he's sitting back like damn he got a good sale.

No, yeah, yeah, they them.

Yeah, we started breaking it all down because it was like yeah, I mean it was just today, like we realized, oh man, we have way too many of these things. We gotta get rid of him. Let's just go hand him out. And then all of a sudden, we're paying for it. And he's wearing a lanyard that has the pricing with the tax built into it so he can give you the proper change. I'm like, man, those lanyards are pretty fancy for getting printed earlier today.

And it's like he's like, oh, this would be good at the US post Office. You know, what do you say? Best pro shops bottle hole bot or bought a whole lot. So he's selling you on it and we're buying.

And you guys went to lift it up later and it was on Amazon for ten dollars.

Yeah, yeah, eighteen, but he's still turning up.

It's less than twenty five, less than twenty five, yeah, less than twenty five.

God, good for him, Man, good for him. That is awesome. Oh, it was eighteen for a three pack. It was like one singular taser was like four or five bucks. Oh, eighteen for a three pack.

I forgot.

I saw that. I saw the charging four too. It's easy to charge.

We got up. It's eighteen divided by three.

Mitch, Well, I know it's six, but I was just I was just asking. I wasn't I saw I saw one, three or four bucks.

I just you know, I wanted to check the mat.

I'm a math guy, so if you want to run math, we can go toe.

I just That's why I asked ship.

But God, I see your match tell him.

But what I'm saying, I run math on you. Ni seventy two. I was gonna get. I was giving you an opportunity.

Answer, Oh, I was giving you an opportunity to answer. That's I was looking back there.

All right, let's just wait real quick. We'll do three JP you say, say, I'm out loud, whenever you're ready.

Eleven times six sixty six. Oh tie, No, I think I got him on that. Thirteen times seven.

Ninety one.

Yeah, Demmitch, Hey, that's up. When you get into double digits, that's a little.

Paper.

I was carrying the two over there.

Tough one. Are you good?

But I mean, like once it gets double, like double digits to double digit, it gets a little it'll take a little bit longer, but I'll run it right.

I'll try this one.

Actually could be easy.

Fifty times fourteen.

Five five thousand, No.

Two fifty two hundred, fifty two hundred.

Five times fifty.

Five hundred and twenty.

How do you six hundred?

Hey, you can't get the twenty times fourteen? Yeah?

Fourteen seven hundred yeah? Left?

Good game? Good game?

Is that the new betting punishment?

Now sounds like it?

We could do that?

What Michigan and Nebraska.

Whoever has better record this year, the other person gets to taste the other.

No, I did that a real gun.

You don't want to do that.

Whoever loses has to get shot in the lake.

We will play Oklahoma at Oklahoma.

I got you, man. I'm not even worried about y'all.

Okay, so there, don't worry.

I'm just saying I'm not going to risk getting.

Taste fair enough.

September twentieth is going to be a tough day for busting.

It's gonna be a bloodbath. Yeah. I hope you guys go down. I hope you guys struggle all year long.

We're back to this. We're back to this.

At least you know where I stay in transparency, I guess so.

Yeah, I have perfect information on that. I appreciate you well.

I hope you I hope you guys.

Do better than you did last year by one game.

I hope you guys fail. Uh.

Fireball, dude, Fireball is the perfect shot for game day, whether you're buying those sneaky little shooters before going to the stadium or going big with a fireball keg for your tailgate. Whether it's pregame shot or tailgate lot, or a celibratory touchdown shot at the bar. No matter what, it's guaranteed to ignite your game day. Grab your buddy by around and ignite your Game Day with Fireball.

Do you just want to go to Ari? You just want to jump over get in this episode?

Get into Ari.

How long we been going on the intro? One O say Jesus Christ, what a fun time with the boys? One oh six times twenty I don't know one O six times twenty.

Twenty one forty.

Damn it, damn no, that is nice. You are nice with math.

Let's get Let's get this episode ari.

Uh Will wasn't lying when it's a podcast of all pause, I could sit there. It's the boys hanging out. It's a great time, great organic conversation. Enjoy this episode. Please subscribe, unsubscribe, re subscribe. All the comments, big hugs, tiny kisses.

Enjoy the show.

But I went to some of my favorite band of all time is blinkin eighty two. There did you really rule?

Dude?

There? Oh my go. They're so unable. Yes, they're so positive and dug yeah.

And so when they went on tour last year, you would see the clips from the like Coachella and stuff. They'd say they're like really bad jokes, but like it was like charming, like oh, you know, like that that pop punk genre. And so we went to their concert me and the boys like at the Bridge Stone and

Yeah, everybody comes through here. Yeah. They were like they played at City Field. They're like, hey, these were the Mets lose. I don't really care. I really don't care. Yeah, it's so fun, But dude, that genre of music is a festival?

Is that?

It just the best alt radio station of the country in DC. They went out of business. They went Latino. Yeah, nine nine one.

So were you into that genre of music?

Is that your like like early like Smashing Pumpkins.

And yeah, Smashing Pumpkins, Counting Crows for one, Charlotte.

I already got away from me. That's that's later.

Are you a good concert guy?

I love it too. You gotta do drugs, Yata. We were in Delaware. I was just like, gack to my friends. Meant to go do whatever, and I was like, I'm fine here, and then I remember, here is a mom like I would never want to be that fucked up, and I'm like, I know she's talking about me, but it's fine. It's a warm night. Yeah, you're so much better, bro.

You'll go to a concert, take some mushrooms and chill by yourself.

Yeah. Sometimes, or we went to Billy's Strings, we took some mushrooms, like, let's not get too fucked up because it was like outside chance we could have met him afterwards. And then like halfway through we're like, oh, he would be proud of us if we were fucked up, so he's disappointed if we weren't.

Like, just get more.

Yeah. Then wandered into fort Worth Dud Festival. Guy, Yeah, I love it. You've been out to a couple of times. Yeah, that was fun and ship and then I got a fucking pound of mushrooms for the whole comedy festival. Part of Bonner in the Air. Yeah, I was just hooking up everybody.

You were the guy. You probably felt like, yeah, there's.

Like thirty of us too, and I was like, I'm gonna get enough for everybody.

There's something it was so fun.

Everybody's people like al right, I heard.

Yeah, yeah, there's something about beating the drug guy. It doesn't matter what drugg it is. But you're at a party and you got like an eight ball on you or something like that, and everyone's like, hey, I heard you gotta.

Get a bump.

You're like come on, You're like, yeah, some sort of foundation between the two of you because you decide to do a bumbum in the bathroom. That's a random house house party to be good friends with the rest of the party. So my boy right here and then he comes back for the fifthday. I'm like, yo, throw me at twenty Yeah, like, what are you doing?

Man?

This is getting this is getting out of hand, dude. Most of them are like a scary or a scary joke to me.

I've only done like a handful of times.

Yeah, and uh it's really fifty to fifty. I've had really great experiences, and I've had some experiences that I'm like, get me the fuck out of mind. You've done the trips, right, yeah, I've done like a full three three point five the grams or whatever it is. Yeah, that's like that's like the boom, right.

Yeah, you're pretty big. If you empty stumma, you can do whatever.

Yeah, them not like to that level, more so like microdosing or like.

They don't.

I think the rumor was it showed up as food poisoning, if you could even test for that. So that was always the thing that was like people can do whatever. Nice, Yeah, coke can show up. I can promise you that. That's the obvious marijuana things.

I would meet. I would meet teammates. This is Taylor's past life. This is like back in college. But I remember going out to Oakland and I'm drawing a blank on who the magazine was, Magnuson there was another one called and they're like, we were like smoking out in the truck. We called it the Black Dragon. They're like, hey, we're trying to we were all staying in the hotel. You're trying to hit the Black Dragon, Like, oh yeah,

And I was like what.

I was like, No, They're like, I thought, like he doesn't do coca anymore, And they thought I was just like they thought I had another mouth grown on my head.

I'm like, no, man, he's he's family guy. He's pretty, he's pretty buttoned up. I've never seen him do drugs like bro, He'd come out at parties with like the fucking Michael Myers butcher knife with just a mountain.

On it, like let's fucking go ye.

Yeah it was.

It snowed in July and all the time.

It was that was winter.

I gotta keep you, got to keep it going. Got this deviate except him to as a nice little parting gift from cocaine as well. Fun times man, that's yeah, that's me in college.

You played in Michigan played I'm.

Not on cocaine right there.

Later that night.

Yeah, Michigan, dude.

I don't know if ibrast this because in Nebraska, like back in the nineties, they're known for just the drugs, like before games, steroids, sure, steroids, all that stuff. Did you ever do it before a game?

Did you ever do it before a game? I did.

I did coke like just go in. No, no, no, I did like on a Wednesday before like I think one big game. I can't remember what game it was, but it was like a Wednesday, like my boys just got town.

They came to visit me.

And like they like had some waiting for him, and so I did a little bit on like a Wednesday. We played on Saturday.

Okay, So then it's like you're not no.

No no.

There was always like at the talk of like doing the water bottle thing where you put it in the you put coke like Lawrence Taylor did or they lady allegedly did. He would take cocaine, he put it in water and it would dissolve in there and he'd.

Like, drink it.

You can drink it.

I guess you can't. I think with cocie can kind of do whatever you want as long as it gets inside you, like whatever it is. Yeah, that's crazy, crazy time man, crazy today.

So how for today test randomly?

It depends if you get in the program like ultimately like for like for weed, there's like a line. Now the threshold is much higher, but every year you ultimately test during like O T A so like like A or April made.

So are you familiar with NFL and like how the structure everything was? Do you know O T A S is Yeah, Okay.

He's a he's a ball guy. He's a he's actually a sports guy. My fault, so like in the springtime.

In the springtime, but the union will send out an email like hey, you're gonna get tested here in probably a couple of months. They ultimately let you know it's time to start weeding off if you're smoking a lot of weed. And then when you get to OTAs, you're you know, if I'm in the linebacker group, you're gonna know if you're gonna get tested in OTAs or you're gonna get tested the first week of training camp, which

And you only test hear and then it's out of the way. When if it's training camp, you're like you're bummed because you're like, all right, I gotta stay you gotta stay sharp until gotta stay sharp until August.

Right, Well you can, yeah, I guess like right after OTA is like them that midlandream. Maybe that weekend you can take and kind of smoke.

Yeah. Remember remember during COVID when I started to just try to test, I started to test, like when I would get over the threshold and I got all these piskeys.

Well, went to the CVS and like bought like a kit basically that would tell him like where his levels were at and how they were. Yeah, and he started to kind of scientifically figure out, Okay, if I signed how.

Long this is? How long I knowed Yeah, because we'd stay up in play risk like every night and we get banged up, and I'm like I kind of want to figure out because I was just a free agent at the time, Like I kind of want to figure out, like once I start to piss positive and then if I just stop, if I just stop taking edibles whatever it.

Is, how long it'll take it for it to get out of my system. It would take probably forty eight hours. Just drink a lot and then I would piss clean.

Yeah. Yeah, I just drinking a lot.

Yeah.

That's crazy because it always it was always like a body it was like a body fat thing. Like the fat is the faster marijuana gets out.

Of your system.

Yeah, yeah, but it takes forty eight hours. Yeah, and then I'll try to go, you know, more days in a row and see how long it take.

Obviously it take longer.

But matter I like, like seventeen days in a row and then quit for two days or like just one day. Sure, I think so.

I think so, because again after I would get to forty eight hours, then I would do it for like a week straight and then.

See how long?

Was this more science than you did in college?

Absolutely? Like I mean, and when it was COVID, you're quarantine.

You're just trapped in thing and what all the different things you're like moving frame picture, fremsday, sweetheart? Do you think this should go here now? And then you get in a weird argument over like hey I want this down here now versus upstairs.

But yeah, I got like one hundred piss cuffs and just you know, got you know, put my head down.

My head down and got the work, is what I did.

Experiment.

People love to hit on COVID man, but that time of our lives was actually so much fun. Like this show is very new. I was out in California training people like ship went down, like you know, I know, people like like, let's move that out of the way, let's talk about like the good times.

But dude, we would we.

Would get high every night, like you said, and like play Risk, you know, the board game Risk, but just on our Xbox Live and it be us and three of our boys, and it would be the most fun. Dude, would be politicking back and forth. I'm trying to take Australia. Inevitably, Will and.

I would always end up hating each other, hating each other. At the end. You reboot around two pm the next day and get after it again.

Man. Yeah, it was some Bible Verse meme the next day on how you might get back to win the next night. Yeah, jets, dude, it really was.

That was the best way to communicate that.

It was so fun. Nobody's falling behind.

No one nobody getting like all right, the company, like your team, they're you're trying to do zoom meetings like you're trying to do it on Zoom. Everybody's trying to figure it out.

It's new. The whole everything shut down, so you know, nobody. Yeah, nobody's falling behind, nobody's getting a head.

They should really do something like the purge, but like a COVID like every decade, like take the virus out of it, but just have like two months.

Everything nothing happened.

No one's allowed to leave their house. You kind of just no fucking around.

No one's allowed to get better. For the next two months and you just hang.

Out, can't do anything to neutral rejuice.

Yeah, yeah, to work on anything.

There were so many days where it was like nude and your body's like drinking, Like all right, what are.

We going to do? What are we going to do?

I mean we might yeah, we might as well get done. Yeah, this is it.

That's online risk.

That's us playing risks. We did a stream last week with our boys. They came back in.

Yeah, that's us.

Where I mean, just China half.

You guys got into it. Always like some people like shouldn't have money and some people should. Yeah, let us Yeah.

In the bottom left corner, we had a beer counter here. So the guy in the back, the guy who lives with a white Shrek, that's Dennis Kelly. He had he drank twenty two beers what and that three hour was it three hour setting?

Yes, twenty two beers for a game or just because just because it was like.

We're like, hey, we're gonna put you on a beer counter because he's kind of like you're he's kind of like your old man who just sits in the corner and his houses like thirty beers.

Right, eventually falls asleep, but you never know.

If he's drink you always in him some sort of like political conversation with him. And even if he agrees with you, there's a devil ass, devil's advocate, he.

Goes with you.

Yeah, he's a great dude, man, the great dude. But yeah, at the end of those twenty two beers, it was.

Like twenty two beers three hours.

Yeah, man, good dude, good guy.

I love how we've just been telling ari about all of our Yeah.

Yeah, like the cleanest humans of the world.

Yeah, a lot of them, a lot of them are We were some bad eggs, Not so much will we were though. We were talking about drugs a little bit. What a fun way to start a podcast.

What was your what's your like?

Number one?

If you could only do one the rest of your.

Life, we probably weed. Yeah it's the easiest.

But is that considered a drug anymore?

Even consider a drug? Now that black people could do it and not get arrested, right, it's a different game.

But it still hasn't been rescheduled yet.

Still it's still a schedule.

One that legalized it in every pretty much everywhere.

Four people.

Yeah no, no, no Bible belt brother that's the last that's the last domino to fall.

There's ways that there's ways that it's like gotten around it. What is it called, like delta nine.

Yeah, it doesn't seem doesn't seem right. They're like when when you light it up, it's the same thing, and I'm like, man, they give me the same thing, then, yeah, give me the same thing exactly.

It is a weird deal. So besides besides weed, let's.

Wait, okay, booze, that's not a drug either. Those are the two like standards, just like that in the street Molly. I love Molly really yeah, yeah, I mean I just took some cracked my tooth, fucking grinding my teeth on Molly last Yeah. It was so clean. It is before the pandemic Molly. I found back of the freezer, the freezing Mandy. I was going through a British face and I was like, wait, no fucking way. And it was a pre pandemic Molly, pre fentanyl Molly.

You can tell he loves it too, just had the hell he had the smile like his memory to the pre fentanyl Molly.

Like it's good.

It's good to know that Molly is clean, because if it's pre pandemic.

That is pre pandemic. But times are simpler if you just kept going till like noon the next day.

I'm happy that world's passed me now if I was still in it.

Mushrooms love mushrooms. Yeah, and then what are the other drugs? Would there ever been a giant cokey? But if you're going to the bathroom coming with you, yeah, you're not gonna buy it. If someone's got it, you're.

Not gonna be rude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What have you ever had an experience with?

This?

Is one thing I've kind of wanted to try was d MT. I tried once and I didn't get there.

It wasn't for you.

No, I loved it, I just didn't get there.

What's good there?

What does that mean?

I was in my backyard in New York, made a chick and like I like smell. I saw this, like this big fucking caterpillar come down off one of the branches. Was like, stare at me for like a minute, and then he just goes no, and then he turned around and went back, Oh, caterpillar wasn't feeling you. Yeah, And then I was like and then I kind of came out of it and I was like, I don't think it hit me, and she goes I died and came

Oh, getting you too?

Yeah?

Oh yeah, I think he was like the gatekeeper or home. No.

He was like, no, you would think a gatekeeper feeling that special woud be a little stronger than a caterpillar.

Yeah, the final boss would.

But I was like, I didn't know how to get past him. You had to work. Fuck, I'm still mad about it. What about me? Would he not say? Yes, I'm the kind of guy who would go in there. That's I'm just realized, how how fucking insulting that was.

You wanted it too bad, is what the problem is.

Maybe I wanted it too bad. You were too open to the experience. Yeah, right, and on the dance floor, this motherfucker.

I saw a clip of you talking about an extreme experience on salvia.

Was this around?

Like, I don't know when this was. I had an experience with salvia as well, but I want to I want you to elaborate a little down So Salvia Salvia K two It was like right around like two thousand thing. Yeah, two nine spice, K two spice. It's all like spices. And I'm sure people in the comments that would would be like till you're so wrong. But like when the drug testing thing was so big, a lot of people were using these spices as a way to kind of

But you you I didn't have anything to what I heard you talk about.

It's up there, that's it. I was tripleing, dude. I was gone. I had so much. And then there were like call me a pussy, and they were like signing off your pussy, you're a pussy. But I got like to the line with that and then like take a real hit. So then I took a massive hit when I was already at the line, and then I was just done. God, I was just gone. I was living underwater for like for like six months.

Yeah, but explain it you actually were like I lived underwater.

I had like a job I went to I like relocated to underwater, and you do you it fucking ruled. I had forgotten about this land for like completely forgotten about it. Oh what a trip it was. But it was like eight minutes, the whole thing's in here. Yeah, that's the thing is so and then they they come back because I opened my eyes, but I'm still gone and I'm just like I just opened my eyes the.

Amount of balls it takes to be on a podcast and take a hit. However, ex Salvi, it is.

My Lawler media shirt. There's a long time ago. What year was this, I don't know what was Jerry Lawler and Tom Lawler who's the UFC fighter Robbie Lawler. Yeah, it was right around he was fighting early. So yeah, twenty eight, twenty or nine, twenty seven, twenty oh seven.

Never heard anybody call it that.

I've said it. The first time I said it was like more in my head, you do you do you remember that was coming up to the surface to like look at who these fucking people were, Like what the fuck are these guys and kind of like barely remembered them, but I was like underneath the water.

Do you remember the experience vividly to this day.

Yeah, it's taken me back, especially seeing it just I was just there. I think I had a chick, no ship.

Yeah, a mermaid.

Man, that's fucking that's that's basic my fault. That's regressive. I hate regressive.

I hate to start the foundation.

What is the fucking thirties mermaid? Bro?

I mean, I grew up at a different time.

How can I say that? Yeah, you gotta be But dude, the salvia? What'd you do?

So?

I did five X.

I was in.

Was it Newport, California?

Okay?

And I was with this is high school, my senior.

School spring breaks. It was a legal drug. You could just buy it.

You go to a smoke shop. Yeah, And they just had it sitting there on the counter like you would buy like horny goat eat or whatever at a gas station. And we bought the five X and so we me, my girlfriend at the time, and my best friend at the time. We they're all like one hitter. So they burned so fast. We took the five X and I remember like twenty minutes of the best laughing, like all

Right.

Yeah.

So like a day or two later, we go to a smoke shop and there's the twenty x and you're thinking five times four is twenty that's four times the laughs, like this is going to be credible. So my buddy, right, So my buddy, he takes it.

He hits it.

We're in this like really shitty hotel room. It's like spring break or whatever. We're balling on a budget, and he takes a hit and he just goes, oh no and lays down on the bed and he's like not responsible for fifteen minutes. The poor me and my girlfriend are like maybe we should go and get like called the police or something comes up out of nowhere and is like, don't do it, don't don't do that. And I had this like thing like no, my boy's gonna do it, then I'm gonna do it, kind of by

Hit of it. He came out and said, don't do that.

My boy did it.

I'm going to do it too.

Yeah, I'm telling you do be a bitch.

I'm not gonna make fun of you.

Yeah.

So I take a hit of it and I put it down, and as i'm actually I'm looking over and then I start looking around the room and it's like pictures are being taken throughout the entire room. And now I'm looking at everybody, but I can see three sixty around me.

Wait wait, wait, say that again.

Okay, So I take a hit up this salvia with a pipe. I go to put it down. As I'm putting it down, it's like photographs are being taken in my mind and being slotted in different part of my vision, so I can now see all around. I'm like looking around the room like this, and my body's like my

Yeah.

So I'm like, I'm like screaming in the middle of this parking lot. They take me and they grab me. I'm like the size I am right now in high school. They take me, they grab me, and they put me in this in this bathtom and turn the shower on. And for the next fifteen minutes, I'm like trying to get out. They're like not letting me get out. And then finally I come.

Too, and it was Saya say, yeah, yeah, I was, You're right.

We went and got pizza and it was like the quietest slice I've ever had in my life, and none of us spoke.

The whole thing was like twenty minutes. Twenty five minutes.

Yeah, I think the whole thing him doing it and me doing it. It was probably a forty five minute period. Wow, it was crazy, absolutely crazy.

Did the picture stop coming?

Yeah, Like, once I had the photographing, and then once I thought that my antlers were coming out of my head, that's when the photos like kind of broke away and I was like just seeing regular but I could feel antlers.

On top of my head.

That it was one of the more extaning experiences of my entire life.

That rules.

Thanks man. That That's also the last time I ever did Selvia me too.

I was done. I felt so dirty afterwards. It's just like, uh, yeah, worn out in twenty minutes.

Exactly, especially if you're living in a completely different life.

Yeah, you had a job, a girl for you, responsibilities in your I probably went bald in there, to be honest.

At that time. Man twice the.

Yeah, I gotta say, I'm so pumped to have you on this podcast because I'm back in like the early two thousands.

When you were doing the amazing racist stuff like that those videos.

How were you in the early two thousands?

Yeah, yeah, you know you all. You're all the middle school white boys are just so yeah, just so fascinated by you doing all those videos. I actually like, I know who you are, like going on like Roguan and seeing you on pods and other things, but I didn't know that you were that guy who did the amazing races. I remember last year at some point I ended up going on Google and being like whatever, happened to the guy? Because I thought, like, where is this guy? Because the state of.

The world that we're in now, I'm like those videos that this guy was making, I'm like, whatever happened to this guy?

So I'm typing in the amazing racist what's his name? And it's like Ari Shafir, And I'm like, Oh, he's still alive. He's still kicking going on fat.

I remember that.

Like, so in high school in the early two thousands, I remember there was like a rumor like, oh, you hear about the amazing racist he actually got killed?

Yes, I love that.

You never heard that?

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, that would have been the best way to go out, that is, yeah, free boat trips back to Africa. You really can't do this stuff now. And then you'd be watching it with whoever, and then sometimes like halfway through, someone would come in the room. But if it's somebody of any race, everyone's like, even the black people that are watching, they're like, this is gonna look.

What made like what was the thought process behind like creating they had the most racist thing on the internet.

Yeah, it was pre internet. It was pre YouTube, not pre internet, but pre YouTube.

Pretty yeah, pretty much like those those videos banged like once it hit YouTube.

Yeah, they put it right on YouTube at the beginning. If you're like, what the fuck is this is? The idea was that this is me getting a juice to apologize for the killing of Christ.

And that guy was losing sh on you.

He was so mad at coveccy is the word you're looking for? Were you?

I mean you had to have been uncomfortable in certain spots every single like when you were a gas station in the hood and you're like, I'm just looking for you know, I'm just looking for a spot to burn.

This, get a lighter. I forgot my just like hey, yo, what the fuck?

Hey do you mind help paying for some gas?

Yeah?

Going to the Chinese restaurants and be like, hey, he's just what type.

Of Chinese are you selling dog door to door in the back of the Chinese restaurants. I had a little dog and I was like, come on, guys, it's cheap. Were there ever any videos that didn't make it? Because there was one of me. I was like setting up a shot. I was crossing the train tracks, like crossing to the bad part of town, and some guy in an Amtrak truck just like slams on his brake and Latino guy and just grasps me, shuts me up, it's her fence. It was like no, and he fucking hit me.

When you're when you're brainstorming the idea to do this, was there not one person that sat there and go, hey, Ari.

No, you'm sure.

I'm a fucking idiot, dude. Every time I want to get something, I was like, let's go further, let's go way further. And there was nobody.

There was nobody in the beginning that was like, so what you want to do is you want to get a cross and ask black people if you're going to.

Burn if you have they have a lighter to burn this.

And no one, no one sat there. Maybe not nobody helped me out. Now. One person was like, hey, you sure we're using your real name in the setups of these should you just use a fake name? Though? I didn't know. It was pre internet. You didn't know ship lived on it was gonna be coming out. I didn't even know it was bad.

God damn, that is so what the line is.

I forgot about this go to a mosque and selling T shirts to say was it? My mom went to Mecca. All they brought back was a horrible body odor. It was just like, let's see as bad as this guy can be.

Oh my god, dad's fucking wild.

Bro. If you're fourteen, if you're a freshman in high school and you see this, you're just like, what is the world?

Yeah, is this the funniest thing ever? Do you if you're fourteen years old?

Yeah, the humor has not got any any like more mature. Did any of these like.

Did any of this stuff come back to haunt you like later, like as you're making your run because times.

So many shows canceled random like DJ's in like different like areas will find it, like what the fuck is this? We got to get this guy suddenly like like like yeah, different places are just like hey, they're saying we got to move your show. They don't want to do anymore. Just why did you look at the fuck Twenty years ago? God, it's great. I don't mind it though. It means it's still affecting People's pretty nice. Kind of an honor.

In twenty twenty, when all this like uh cancel canceling thing was going on, I had to be thinking like.

Oh, I knew it was coming any day. I'm surprised you really didn't get me doing that. This is this is the the corner. Yeah, and it's still every time they pull it off the Internet, somebody else puts it back up. It'll get like ten million views and then I'm like, no, terrible, and then someone else will put it up. It just keeps getting views. You would take at any moment they'd be like I'm knocking the door, like Feds. I'll be like, no, you gotta leave the country.

It's just in like the underground Hall of Fame, dude, I'll keep getting put back on there. It really is, man, it's top tier.

Yeah.

Were you doing stand up at that time?

Yeah, it was just starting. It was just starting. They were actually looking for Jeff Ross to do it. They was like, we wanted like a and then they told me that he couldn't do it, and they were like, do you know any other like jewelry looking comics and Duncan dress was like yeah, all right, yeah, and then so they're just like idea of do something like real light,

Do you enjoy doing all the content stuff like as much more than doing like thinking of all the stand up comedy?

No, I only like doing stand up. The rest is just like yeah, yeah, fun like here or there, just like bullshitting around, yeah, hanging out with friends. Yeah, doing fun dumb ship.

Content stuff is so elite though, Like to be able to put your full thought and have a visual with it as well.

Oh yeah, you just you're over that. I don't want to do it. I don't know editing, I don't know. Still like that. Yeah, I'll be in stuff here there, I'll look at that. That's me. I took my shirt off at a fucking PGA golf event. I'm just walking around. They was looking. I was helping golfers find their ball, like a legit golfer, like a pro golfer. They were walking by. It's just like Pat tapping on a fucking idiot. And then they told me this is a TPC at Avedel,

Yeah, you right here? Graduate from Maryland. Oh, happy early birthday. Your birthdays in a couple of days.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

February twelve.

Nice brother, you memorize that eleven? Nice? Who's on your birthday? Anybody? Big? Nice? Hot? Who do you guys go?

I don't think I.

Don't know he was born your birthday?

Did he actually hear your birthday?

Oh? Diddy, that's tough.

And you guys all left early. That's everybody Diddy party says. I don't think I wasn't invited, but I left early. Are all these people leaving early? A great party early? That's crazy? Yes, you only leave Lane Park? What do you think did he put on shitty parties? For the first two hours he drove out all the squares and then was like, now let's go, this is the time to get We all have a.

Did you imagine just being a guy that's like coming into fame and like you're in Hollywood, you make maybe make a movie, the movie comes out, everything's going really well. You need to call him like, hey, he did He wants you to come to his party, and you're like, oh, fuck the best parties And you walk into that and.

You're just like there's so much you wrap your head around, like why is this why everybody said they were good parties? Yeah? And then like but also is there food? Yeah? You know there must be something you'd be into. Who would have recommend it?

Jes like tells a story about like did he wanted to throw a party? Was it ditty or is it somebody else wanted to throw a party? And he's gonna spend like a million dollars on it? And Jaesz's like, no, I can throw the best party for like five hundred bucks and threw a party for him.

I don't want to really defame. Jay Z's something around too kind of guy. Yeah, save that money, jays No, it was Jamie Fox. It was Jamie Fox that did that.

But I think about that sometimes too, because like if I'm nineteen twenty twenty one years old, and I have no idea about what's going on with did he now? But I'm in LA and I have the opportunity to go to a Diddy party. Yeah, I'm probably gonna say yes to that, not knowing what I'm getting myself into.

Okay, when you walk through the door and you see what's happening, do you immediately go, wait, which side of this am I on? Right?

Right? Right?

I think I'm young here, I'm twenty one. This might be trouble.

Oh yeah, that's a good point. I didn't think about that.

I didn't think about that, like he's gotten you holy shit, because I'm thinking of myself a new error and walk in assuming like you're there's like according there's a courting time and they bring you into.

The room or courting time.

Yeah, maybe they're probably feeling you out. It's probably not going out in the open. There's probably a room or something like that going down.

Are you cool?

But it's like once they bring they think you're cool enough, without asking you, they bring you to the room, like, how are you getting out of there?

A love? How are you getting out of there? There's no way to get you.

Down, man, taking you down or wanting to buy.

It's just like a some of these videos of guys who like break down be like Yeo, this dude casts damage to me and like spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

It's like, yeah, that's him there, that's Leonardo DiCaprio there. Yeah, that's why I can't That's why I can't fuck anyone above The age is right now. It's actually all an apology. He's dealing with this horrible trauma. He actually shouldn't anyone over twenty two he's doing it right. Twenty five is old? Prem Yeah, is it is?

It? Wasn't it? What is that age? Was it twenty six?

Leo doesn't go anybody over twenty six twenty five once they turn twenty six, that's when.

Every woman is like that's terrible, and every man's like, I know right, yeah, we had that conversation.

Is crazy, not very mature at all.

Yeah, every magazine it's crazy to find them attractive. That's nuts.

What?

Yeah?

Did he crazy? When would it start though? If people left early? What that means he's not starting that stuff till two. I'm in but like probably like Vegas, I got meetings tomorrow.

The big parties don't start until it's like two three in the morning.

No way that stuff's going on a dunk.

You know, he's probably like vegas, probably got oxygen pumping in.

Oh yeah, I stand away. Yeah, but you don't want to see the light coming in and still be doing that on either side of it.

Right, yeah, right, I don't know that should be in the darkness.

It's a black lightning situation like that.

How do we end up here? Yeah, I don't know birthday, Jack's birthday, birthday?

Josh Brolin?

Who's Josh Brolin?

Exactly? Fuck you Josh Broler who he's the guy with the fucking guy, the purple guy, know, the ship with the stones in his.

Okay, my fuck yeah, I didn't say anything. I just said who Josh?

I got Abraham Lincoln. Josh Brolin, Abraham Lincoln. Wh's way better?

Yeah, I'm not I'm not good, as you guys know when we do those guessing games. I'm not good with like understanding who all the actors and actresses are.

That's great.

Like I'm good with characters. I'm not great with that. I'm not great with that.

It's better if you don't know they are.

Is this like a list of all people born in July twenty second of notes.

Sure it's just is it of? Not just anyone? That's how long long? Yeah? Not a right?

Good to know? Who do you think?

Who do you think you're esking my brother's with.

Hair Sewn Michaels. I see Sewn Michaels.

That's you're asking my brothers with him? Uh?

No, no, no? When was he born? Who's this is?

My birthday was like twenty second? I don't know Sewan Michaels, assuming he's a wrestler.

Yeah, okay, heartbreak break with that outfit nineteen sixty five. I don't know anything.

Do you think it's at all possible that that's true though? Someone on one of your lists? You both you both suck.

Gotta be yeah, awesome, gotta be right?

Possibly, I mean Sewn Michael's the ww guys are traveling three hundred days a year and all these different towns and cities.

Oh I made the list.

Really, let's go.

Boys.

What you get with the new contract man?

Who thought.

Elliott is seek Elliott?

Okay?

Good for me, love Zeke.

Yeah he was great for a while.

Yeah, who are your teams?

Unfortunately my team recently disbanded. The owner said he couldn't do well as a GM and he thought the best thing for Cowboys Nation was just to get rid of the team. He was the most team was never going to give up control. So he said, we're just going to like break up. So my team is no longer around the Dallas Cowboys. They're a former team in the NFL and we don't have to think about.

Them any Why are you a Cowboys fan?

Well, are you a Cowboys fan? Not? Yeah, because you have no class? No, no class, America's team? Are you not in America?

Are they really America's team?

Still? I'll tell you what a team of failure? He says that we've been in Afghanistan for twenty years, no wins. That's America's team. That's exactly what happened.

Yeah, they were good when you started watching football and you thought.

Okay, no, no, I went through a one to fifteen season as a fourth grader in Washington.

Fairly.

I grew up in North Carolina. We didn't have teams. You can pick America's team, that is for you. Guys. Don't remember before the fucking Panthers.

Growing up, my dad he was a Cowboys fan. So I was just a Cowboys fan just happened to be in the nineties, live in all the glory days. But I was like a Cowboys fan all the way up there where you grew up Missouri.

Okay, Cowboys fan, you get a lot of ship for it too, right, well, Empire.

Once I once I went to Washington.

Yeah, it's like garbage dump.

If you're an NFL player, you want to play for the Cowboys because what I've heard is playing for the Cowboys is like what every kid envisions growing up playing in the NFL. That's what it's actually like. It's really like that. I mean, like, yeah, all the new game consoles, anything that comes out, it's sitting on your locker. Like apparently you could treated first class.

All the way. Jason Hatcher said. They would have off days and they had an amusement park right next door, so they would just.

Be right, go write a roller coaster mess up your entire central nervous system right before practice the next day.

Do you guys have to start rooting for the team you play for? Do you drop your childhood team?

I think you do.

I think I've pretty much like I've like, like I always keep my arm on the Cowboys but I played in Washington, Tennessee and the Raiders, Like I watch them, but I'm not like, I'm not with them the way I am with Nebraska. Like I went to Nebraska. He went to Michigan.

So we're a big time for the NFL teams. So you don't pick, you can't put. You don't have to pick one.

He picks what everyone's doing the best.

You got to pick which everyone's doing well. So this year is like Commanders, Yeah we're doing pretty good.

You played for the Redskins of the Commanders.

Redskins, Redskins.

Ye.

Yeah, I went to Austin. They had Redskins stuff everywhere, and I'm like watching the football team.

Too, But yeah there is will you see you got the seat on his chest?

Which of those four teams you played for have the worst fan base? There is one right answer, the worst fan base. Yeah, I didn't play for the Cowboys. I just rooted of the teams. You answer the question first before he does, which what are you see?

Is one right answer?

It's obviously the Raiders.

No, bro, they're the best fan base.

No, they're the worst. That the stabvious across the country. You talking about in Oakland. But when you're playing.

When when you're playing in Oakland, like you mel the weed in the air in the second half.

I mean it's Halloween every week. If you're going to want probably Tennessee. Why just because it's like it's not like the biggest or the strongest fan base. Yeah, it's more of like a destination where people come in. Oh there's a game going on. So there's not like the most like loyal.

Type fan base.

Because the city is a lot of fun. Yeah, you're you're you're coming for Broadway, You're coming for the live music and oh, by the way, this is happening. And it also doesn't help the team win three and fourteen this year.

Yeah, but that's how Vegas is going to be.

Everyone's got everyone's got a very strong five percent. There's always five percent of every fan base that is like rapid, they love it Tennessee.

Maybe that's what it is. Maybe the Raiders worst is the worst of any of them.

I think the Eagles, bro Eagles are pretty shitty Eagles there fights with.

No for no reason.

The argument, the argument that will is saying that the Raiders are good, are the same reasons why you guys are hating the Eagles.

Correct, but like that traders cross the line. Those Eagles they just fight you.

They'll just fight Okay, Yeah, I can get on board with Yeah, between just assault and attempted murder, got to walk it. It's completely fair.

The silver and black though, like those jerseys, those uniforms is the best uniforms ever.

Yeah.

For do you root for Maryland? Like are you are you a turn?

Yeah?

I know you're a turn, but do you like Yeah?

But I grew up for North Carolina. Then I went to Maryland. It was like we're in the same conference. It was like fun, what do I do here? I spent a year like going back and forth? Yeah, no, I'm a turp.

Did you love going to Maryland?

God? It was so fun. We were a basketball team. We were not at football school. We go to the football to get drunk. We would never compete it. Yeah, I think one Bowl in four years there.

Why didn't you go to North Carolina probably already.

Moved to Maryland by then. I couldn't get in. Then I was out of state and it was like it wasn't gonna happen. I tried to. I painted my whole room at Carolina blue and they were like, but you get seas, what get me over there? Yeah? Yeah, state schools all like I got waitlisted from Maryland and I'm from there. My grades were terrible.

Carolina Blue is a crazy colored painting room.

It really is.

Luckily I was a good decadeway from getting laid, so it didn't get in the way. Yeah.

I saw your first stand up open mic was in northern Virginia. What part of northern Virginia.

I don't know. It was like outside DC, Yeah, like greater Washington. It wasn't Arlington. I don't know. It's just like a comedy sports night. You're there one time. I'm like, I'm good, Let's go to California. Hell yeah, yeah, god yeah, there's so many games ruled. We'd all do this a basketball, just like we'd pick up the fucking uh newspaper whenever the other teams introduced. We just go like this, like disrespect and then I'm fucking done. We throw it in there. Goddamn. Yeah.

If you could relive one point of your life again, would that be at college?

Yeah? Oh yeah, God, like getting laid, drinking, drinking and then puke and rally and it wasn't looked down on back then Yeah, Now it's like did you throw up? It's like, yeah, dude, I'm back. Why are you coming at me?

Hey? I think we're gonna have to leave art he's fucking puking already.

No, I puked. I'm fine, And that was totally acceptable back then. Yeah, walking around learning ship.

You know where we need to get are what beer Olympics? Beer Olympics.

Have you heard of beer Olympics?

I've heard of it. I do love competition.

Okay, Well, if you want to go to a place where the greatest beer drinkers of all time take take the center stage and compete in various beer games to be crowd of champion beer games?

Is your games? What kind of beer games we're talking about? Like rage cage and beer pung.

And flip beer Die has always been talked about beer ball a lot of different things, and it all starts with a three three beer chug out of that's.

Fair, that's fair to get going, get.

Going, and just the kind of scene where your team is, like where you guys are gonna be on the bracket.

Oh yeah, so you take early to get like a lower seed? Yeah, lower seed? You want to go early? Sotu I'm a I'm a chugger.

I can chug.

I can chug, and I can eat large quantities of food, like.

If the fruit is free. I'm I'm not stopping.

Yeah, this is yeah, this is yeah.

Out of him, she would not chug anything I gave her that. Yeah, that's so.

Much fun and it really is such a great time. The next five days are terrible.

I stopped getting hangovers. I'm fine. So wait, dude, you ever get on a I don't know. I don't know. I woke up one day with a superpower. It just doesn't happen anymore. Maybe it's Baroka. I don't know. I kind of stopped drinking because of the hangover power through I have like one or two drinks.

Literally the next day, I feel like ship.

You gotta do something about that.

I literally probably haven't had a drink since this this event in June.

Try Baroka. Call it Baroka. You gotta take these. They're a miracle cure. They told Hi about it in Edinburgh. Every drinks every day. Bet E r O. It's just like British people. I can get it on mind, but like h it's just like hangover cure. You're just good tablet, little caffeine in it. Yeah, you do one, the day before, one, the day after. Nothing's happened to you. You do it. It's so full of it. You're just like boom my back,

And you just don't feel it, which is impressive.

You pds. It sounds like, yeah, well I gotta be able to do this for beer Olympics. Did you ever get on a run of beer pong where you just you just like matrix, You just are the ball.

It just depends like keep it unfortunately, Yeah, you just know like and the crowd erupts around.

And get the next team up, because this is you both just go.

You're like a one last cup. You're just like, hey, I got this.

You call your shot, just winket.

Our problem is we put the beer pong at the end for the championship.

It needs to be the first event.

He's the first event because we counted up we're having what like it was sixteen beers in the first round.

Yeah within an hour. Yeah, you need to figure that out. You're going to do flip cup before it comes best out of three and you're filling up with a picture.

How long is this?

It's an old event.

Okay, it's like it's we're gonna we're gonna have a Shane once and I had. I had about sixteen, but it was can you keep up with Shane? I kept up with him about ten beers?

He was just Shane similar to that Dennis Kelly guy we were talking about where they're just really good at drinking a lot, Like the quantity is really good.

Maybe not the speed, but the corn. Shane's also good at at using peer pressure to not get you to switch what you're drinking, so you'll change alcoholic right now, you're a pussy, you're almostsexual. Stay with bud lights and you're like okay, but then like that's your home court. Yeah, and he gets he gets the game favorable to himself.

He was even playing beer games and he just since he's not good at him, he just makes fun of him. He's making fun of him, bullies.

You does a great job of making you feel less stand while beating him.

Where do you do this? This rules? Oh bro, it's so much fun. Will will you got to get pitt viper as a sponsor for this. I mean, if they're not already, Will was one of one. Then got that chick was looking through whoever she was looking at.

These girls actually destroyed us.

He murdered us.

We did not the entire time.

Who won the Jamie feels so good? It goes in you guys won?

Yeah, like yelling at who was it? Who's Joe Avery.

Another another comedian. Joe Will is basically telling them he's a ship comedy.

He'll never make it.

He's a fucking loser.

Like, bro, you gotta kill yourself out of the herb because bach was.

The ring or something, and you gotta go at the weaker one at the moment to try and get him off their game.

Yeah, yeah, because the Championshi gotta get him off. That's a key part of any any competition.

This is where I was like, we gotta get this guy out of here.

We gotta get this ref.

That's Big Cat.

So big Cat actually was came to ref.

No, he wasn't. He was in the game.

He decided because they're out, this is the championship rown. Big Cat came in with a ref outfit on to funk up the rest of the game. Just started whistling at people the whole time and just being being a menace, an absolute menace to the entire thing.

Yeah, dude, it was just hell, it was nice.

Time.

Brow Okay, I knows they're all different.

Yeah, they're all house.

We lay it all out.

We're gonna send an email this year to everybody that's going, Yeah, this will be in like the summertime, and it will be like a Wednesday or a Thursday.

What is this? Hard to heart? A drunk? Hard to heart? Give me a beer. I want to beer.

Yeah, tweets right here if you want one, twister.

Twist Okay, yeah, take one of the tweet.

Okay, So do you know that guy right there, David Bai played for the Packers for a long time, left tackle. Outstanding guy, but an elite football player as well, and all these offens alignement. They can put down Beard, no problem, no problem. But yeah, this this dude, this went on for an hour and a half.

It's getting dark. It started at eleven in the morning.

Athletes could go it's not right. The last game less than two hours. Yeah do you mean because no one we went there to wre You're just like, I don't have it.

You shot. Hey, yeah, bro, he'd be.

Going having conversations with everybody during it. I'm just like, will please get over here. I'm locked in no yeah, and I'm like, brother, you're not but we're team were teammates.

Right now, Hey, I got I got you.

Gotta have a hard talk. I believe in you, man. Yeah, no one else believed that he.

Missed you and.

Now put down.

Oh gosh.

After so we end up have soak it up. Food were there, but.

You're so into Like there was a taco truck there.

I didn't get a I didn't get any food the entire time.

What we just want some bread or something.

You get into the loads of like it's.

The Colosseum, medieval Colisseum. We just toss them out.

People are shredding it apart. Charcoal pills those those rip, those go hard.

When I was trying to out drink Shane, I was going to every time I went to the bathroom, I would make myself puke. Yeah, and then come back get rid of that beer too, just like I'm still fine, Just get back.

He's like, yeah, Shane's hilarious. Yeah, you guys on that protect your parts. When did that start?

Over? It was right before Skangfest. One time we were going to do like an early show to Funk with Lewis who runs it. We're like, let's just sell her show out the day before, just a fuck with him, just like I can rub it in festival. So me, Shane and Norman were gone, and then I texted Joe's like, hey, do you want us to come there first before we go to Houston. He was like, oh, fuck, sure yeah, and then afterwards he was like, this is so much

And you guys basically just have those positives just sit there and drink. We just drank, We just fuck around. So they're essentially so much to do it. Case Race podcast.

You guys are doing a case right, but it's not really a right.

It's not a competition, guys. One time was a competition, don't you get Yeah, you guys need to do a case race on predator parks? What is that? First to a case?

So it's like you and me are partners? Is a thirty rack. It's fifteen beers each or twenty four with twelve beers.

Each, so you get partners. Yeah, Shane and Mark. It'd be Shane and Mark.

Yeah, yes, you guys would.

Mark is the worst drinker. Shane is easily about. You'd have to split him up with somebody. You'd have to handicap him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Shane, you put it down.

So wait, first, what is it? What are the worlds? First? The twenty I love miss College.

The simplest.

It's simplest game ever.

Like, there's twenty four beers in a case of beer or thirty whatever one you want to pick. You and a partner, You guys have to finish that case before anybody else finishes their case.

That's it.

So with if you and I were partners and I finished my fifteen beers first, I could have sixteen seventeen beers to offset.

Where you have, you know, fourteen or thirteen beers.

Yeah, just keep it simple, do.

You have, like if one guy's better at warm beer, then be like, hey, these are getting empties. You got to step Yeah, yeah you can.

You can make those movies all the time.

Okay, you got to play to your boys strengths. Like again, if Shane's with Mark and Mark's not very good at drinking, Chain's gonna know he's got to carry.

That and Michigan at Michigan every spring soon when spring football would start. Every the first Saturday of spring football, we would always do a scrimmage and after that scrimmage, the whole team would go to somebody's house. We have a team wide case race, and for three years, me and my partner, Yeah, me and my partner won the case race. Like it was like a badge of honor for me. My senior year, this kid named Chris Fox,

That's like a beer minute.

It was incredible. Him and his party, It was him and God.

That boy is Bill, Yeah, that was him.

Look at that's him in eighteen. The hairline, that hairline is crazy. That's my current hairline.

Kids from Colorado. I've never seen a man in a case race, Dude. That was the most incredible feet of going kept going due.

Similarly, this is that that.

Case race is the same one with a butcher knife came out. That is yep, that's that makes sense. So what we do We bring it all back in where the podcast started. Another rule another of the case race, No PD is allowed.

And so I cheated.

I cheated. Oh yeah, there should be a moment is a drunk like wow, it's like I hadn't even started.

You did it. Yeah, It's like, yes, you did it in the middle of the case race, like you saw that it was over.

Before it started. So that's when I dipped into the back.

Yeah. Yeah, so I guess I didn't cheat, But I mean you come back, you go into the bathroom fucking not even find it, come out like gentlemen. Yeah, I say, we have some discussions about serious events. Now. Yeah, I'm fully ready to drive. Let's go.

Yeah, exactly. That's the scariest thing.

Yeah. You could be like thirty to thirty the library that leave open and I can get us there and I'm good to drive, let's go.

Yeah, and then fifteen minutes later you're back in hell.

Yeah.

But literally, this case race, this case race started and I was probably on my fifth or sixth one, feeling good, like I'm on I said a new PR this year. I think the like thirty seven minutes, was like our greatest, Like we did it. And I was like on my six or seventh beer and it was like one.

Guys like done.

I'm like, all they're fucking around. I looked over there, cans were empty. He was finished, haven't even stood up yet. It was dude, it was amazing. It was absolutely amazing.

Beers. When do you start pissing whenever?

For him?

Shortly after you try to hold it and his bladder probably explode.

Did that night? How long did those protector parks pods last?

Between like three hours and like six.

Household that beer within an hour.

I grew up into it one of the water coolers one time and they were like, come on, we gotta get back to the hotel. I'm like, bro, leave me, get the funk away. I'm fine on the floor. It's not the first I've been laying near my puke. Leave me here.

Are you guys watching anything like the UFC like they do the fight CampaignOn or anything like that.

Up, Yeah, like the one with the guys like I don't, I don't know.

Have you ever like doing those pods or any pod for that matter, where you get super fucked up on have you ever had like a next day scaries?

Like what did I say?

What did I say? What did I do?

I'm assuming no every time?

Okay, oh yeah, we say.

Podcast the amazing racist.

You're gonna think there's probably.

No one the line of the ship. We talk in private, and then what we're can say publicly about people we know about anything. It's like privately you know nuts and then like four hours in and ten beers, you're like, I was a microphone. Yeah what im saying? Bro? That is there's nothing worse than those scaries, dude, Oh my god. The regrets, the rogan regrets, that's what we call. Nor always be like I fucked up on that one. I mean it's like I don't think that was that bad,

That was the worst.

That's the worst part is when your boys tell you, do you know what you did last night? You're like you don't, like, what are you talking about?

And they're like you did this. You're like, oh my god, you called her? You cringe for that guy? Yeah, realize it's you.

God, just brutal, just brutal.

But when we had the case race with the Big Kat andem and Shane was on and we had our faces paint and everything else, then whole next week Shane would just text me, I want to kill myself. Dude, be reading the comments because he almost got in a fight with Jay.

Yeah, yeah, which is so funny that he almost got to fight with an Asian guy.

Yeah, you know, nuts, sounds fucking great, dude. We had rent A Zazi. We're at a su party one time, Steve Renzezi and we were just housing as people on on beer pong. He was cheating, I found out later. We just he was like drinking half of them. Por just pointed on their floor. Yeah. It was just like a frat party and we were there was a wall of fame, and we both got competitive and like we want on there. We were like late thirties, yeah, and we wanted on there. And he's just like housing these

Shepherd.

Yeah, I mean creepy, but like like we weren't doing anything wrong. We're like, we'll be expelled. How much have you been at a s U tons?

Dude is temping?

Not so much fun. I grew up in Arizona. Oh my god, it's the party school. It's everybody's having fun. The chicks eat Denny's six times a week and still have like a nine body. I don't understand that.

It's wild.

Yeah, it's a wild thing.

It's a wild thing to even come.

They're nuts.

Everybody there's nuts. They love baseball too. It's the weather man, it's the weather.

It's got to be the weather.

They do love baseball because basically all the spring, a lot of spring trainings out there.

Yet, yeah, it's there in Florida, Arizona, in Florida, the two places.

Yeah, I mean, herpes spreads so fast that.

Might be a rumor, like the amazing race is being killed interested. I don't know because I said the same thing. But high school it was like, hey, you hear people like one and three people have HIV that is h for real or std whatever.

They're like, hey, don't go to the phone parties.

That's whatever. The warning shot, what is the warning committee is a chance for your doctors say you got to be more careful. But this is cool your doctor, but seriously, could get worse. So like he's gone away. The second base is like second base of that.

Hey, one more hiccup and it's over.

It's just like you might break up from this, but it's not gonna be with you for a long time.

Okay, but it goes away eventually.

Yeah, I think so.

And then and then finally syphilis.

Syphilis is fucked.

That's how al Capone died, right.

Something like that. Can you treat and have to go away?

You can get a nice little animotic cocktail?

Are you how did you know that? Are you sitting your face? Yeah?

Friends, you never not drinking? People like, why don't you drinking? You're like, I'm just going for a week sober I can do that. Another reason, shut up, move on, talk about someone else the joke.

Hey, good news, you have chlamydia. But for real, let's talk for a second.

Let's sit down, for it's could have been worse. Herpe says out there, Yeah a s U.

Yeah, it's always I've heard of where they like, they know they have hot girls. So they have like the Tempe twelve where they they vote, they vote every single year on who the twelve hottest girls are and then they come off the calendar or something like that. That this what we're talking about is the reason why I did not go to SU.

They're just casual models. They're just women that could be like tops in the world, and they're just they got like fucking campus jobs.

You'll just go to like a local target, they'll be working by a dressure and you're just like, what.

The what are you doing? Yeah, it's like America Sweden.

And that's why all they get at those thing tops right.

There, who the bitches hot? They don't do anything, ah, and their football team is good. Now, gotta look at these dorks behind them, Kennedy, Just look at them. That guy's looking away because of their beauty.

They get in the back because you got the eyes locked on the we know we got it.

We know what you're doing after Wow.

Yeah, man, hot girls at a s U shout out them.

You go, Uh Nebraska, Oh yeah, that must be cool. That must just be hard drinking.

Oh hard is drinking a lot of white boys.

Uh.

I grew up in small town Missouri, so when leveled up to Nebraska, I'm getting all the guys from California and.

Texas be like, Yo, this place sucks. I'm like, what are you talking about? This place riffs?

Yeah?

Yeah, Like, what are you talking about? This place rifts? Just when I grew up in like small town Missouri, I'm like, there's chicks everywhere, dude.

More than three.

We got to get back to Dallas.

Like, there's a Chinese restaurant in this.

It's a restaurant, not a Buffets. More nice though Buffets always hits Lincoln.

Yeah, dude, I went to a Missouri No sorry, Montana opening week. My friend worked there in catering. She's like, I'll get you into some tailgates and ship like. So I was like, I'm gonna make uh jelot shots. I gotta bring some to the party. So I made two hundred and fifty jello shots and I just walked through the grizz like opening day tailgates, and the people that

Yeah, that was one of them Montana.

I don't know if they always went like Division two. They're always right there in Division two.

Actually they party, are they really?

This was the one in Bozeman, right, the one in Billions is the one that's No, this.

Is Missoula, isn't that? But isn't that isn't a movie.

I think there.

I think because when we were in Montana, we passed. I think this school and like Bozeman, the west is Bozeman. It's more plains, maybe a Montana st How important is.

This he said? How important is like?

Now that's yeah, that's a different college.

Different college.

Find out where we got to find out now for whatever reason.

I gotta Montana griz Yeah, it's definitely Missoula because I went there and I know it. But he was that was not even a question picture there and I went there.

Let's not be mean to these guys. Slower outside Arizona statele was the best campus you you went through.

That's a Maryland ruled such a big rolling campus. But that n y U kids there, I mean, they're fucking doing blowing the streets they're in like college, like in a city that's that's a wild upright.

That'd be terrifying.

Yeah, that would be terrifying to do that.

What's what's a good like campus campus? I like the rolling greens, you know, like the real quads.

Yeah, like Michigan, Michigan, Yeah, for sure, Michigan's got a beautiful campus.

Notre Dame doesn't.

Yeah, yeah, Yeah, it's one that you appreciate because of the tradition. Yeah, but right outside of the campus.

Is absolutely similar to similar to similar to the l s U campus is outstanding at.

L U never but you're never been to that campus. Texas has great tailgates. You could you guys party at the if you were on the road at a school and you wasn't a bus back, could you stay there that night and party in school?

The game is over, you pack up your stuff.

Damn.

It would have been like, well, while we're here, we're done with work.

Yeah, like the hanging that time the bowl games. Though, the bowl games, you go, you practice for the week, and then after the game it's like, okay, buses leave at nine am. No one be late because the season's over. No one really cares. So then right, yes, do what you want out there. Like we played in the Sugar Bowl one year. Yeah, that in New Orleans and that was the best, So much fun through a bun of guy's bike right in front of him.

It was awesome. It was good time.

Hey tell me, I have a theory that that the preseason MAUI n I T for like the malle invitation for basketball there's always upsets. And my theory is because they're out there surfing all day and they're not in game ready and like game head ready.

How many basketball players do you think are in the water surfing or.

Just being on the beach. Yeah, I mean, okay, how much college basketball?

We don't know. But if you're an athlete, you had a nice singer back to.

Him likes.

Right. What's been your favorite many tour with with the group you're with.

I don't know, not really grow. I just take different openers differently. Good comments from New York top three openers Joe List opening me once right after Louie got canceled and he was back on the market. It was nice. It was like he's become available for like three months.

Okay, brother, I know they won't touch you.

Yeah. Adrian's fun. Colin Tyrrel gets after it with Booze. He's fun. Yeah, he's gonna be with me in Denver. Yeah, he's every time he's like, you know those guy's like no, I'm going sober now, You're like okay, and then like by the end of the night though, we're gonna be drinking. Yeah, for sure. That's column.

Knowing all the drinking and drugs that you've done. Have you ever had the sober moments we're I'm like, I can't do it where you're like, hey, I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm gonna turn the tide here.

Yeah. I did try January last year. You did it. It was great, But like I thought about it this time. Obviously I didn't do it again. I thought about this time and I was like, no, I think I'm gonna go do one of those Rogan episodes in the middle of January so I'll pentpitly be drinking that. I was like, you know what, Actually, I'll get in a strike every day instead. So it's been worse than ever, but I do know whatever, you feel good.

But yeah, one dry January throughout your career.

That's it. Yeah, that's plenty.

Got it done.

You guys ever do five K You ever clean up?

Yeah?

I mean I said to you like you kids.

Up until this last month, like after beer Olympics, I was I basically use my old man because my old man's been sober now for like seven months, and I'm like, I'm gonna do solidarity with my dad. But I did a case race not too long ago. Okay, and I had a few out there in New Orleans, but we never hit Bourbon Street like that. We never hit Burbon Street.

Trash, purpose is trash. There's other places to go in New Orleans.

See, it's refreshing to hear that.

So we just got back from New Orleans literally yesterday, Like this is the.

Greatest city in the world, Like, man, is it?

But not there. It's like often it's like here too. Broadway after a while sucks. You gotta go somewhere cool.

You gotta spend a couple of weeks on Broadway though when you first get there. Yeah, first get here, you gotta you gotta immerse in that, and then you.

Gotta be shoulder to shoulder trying to get in the.

Spots, the five spots in the East. He starts finding, like the fun last night, Yeah nice, where'd you go last night?

Spot?

Five spots like this, what's called yeah out in East Nashville. Yeah jazz they have a jazz on Mondays.

Yeah, Heast is pretty cool. You got to get away from that, that downtown area.

Then it's like not bad fun though every once in a while to get down there.

Of all the downtown's Nashville might have the best one of all the life. This is just for tourists.

It's a good walking area too.

It's fun.

But yeah, yeah, the drinking thing.

Okay, that's your science. I want you to try at barok A two days in a row and then drink and then the broken the next day.

I'll do it for beer Olympics, Okay.

I promise you.

My first call and if you were right or hey brother, I feel like ship.

Okay, well he'll know.

He'll know the next day because it'll be out there. That's right.

You do you want to commit to the Olympics right now?

When is it June? It'll be in June. It's usually what later June? Oh, I guess we've kind of moved it. We've moved it both times. It can be up in the air or your tour rates and the schedule pretty set.

I'm about to go, like, sell all my ship and go backpacking in June. At some point I could I I don't sell all your shit and go back back South America and Southeast Asia just like a year. Really yeah, but like if I'm if I'm still here for that one thousand percent, I want to do it. So would you say it's like right on the line of it.

Would you say if if you're advising us to do it and we want you a part of it, maybe the first half of June.

Yeah, the first week of June would really go well with me.

Now if you're thinking about getting football players, though, OTA doesn't until the middle of that.

That's always been.

That's always been in the middle of and in the middle of July. June fifteenth is always a good marker for you to be like, Okay, that's when we can kind of start looking at dates back after June.

Yeah, we could do before. I mean that would be we literally have to plan it.

Now. You're saying when I start.

April twentieth is usually it's funny because the four twenty is the first EAT can get tested.

Yeah, that's usually the do the test in the more come on, hurry up that test.

Yeah, have a show on.

Eighteen's just an anchorage. That's when I'm starting the trip.

Oh, did you can make it back from Anchor to Alaska?

But that's when I'm starting my trip from there. Oh really, Yeah, you're out, dude, I'm out. You're well, I want you Unless I push it, there's an outside chance I pushed you, like like July or August.

Well, no, we could do like the.

Fifteenth or sixty one.

Dude, what July one so I could be here for this July won't be great?

That would be a good time to do it.

Yeah, it's a month of independence.

I want to throw up on your loan.

But this is another reason why yeah there next to me.

Last year, I couldn't stand up.

Your tour dates is a reason why we do it on weekdays so people can like s people again, Oh yeah, like callmics, anybody who's in the entertainment. They're traveling Thursday through Sundays.

Oh yeah, whenever I have a barbecue on my like I'm my deck, it's always like Tuesdays Wednesdays. Yeah, otherwise exactly. Also like, yeah, I got a little deck. It's great. Also, like, uh, we live like fucking animals in New York. I have a deck this big from you to you and everyone's like wow, so great?

Yeah right now, right now?

Do you think it gonna be in New York forever?

No, I'm I'm probably love. I probably moved just I've lived in LA for a long time. It was fun, but it was like I just kind of want new ship, new restaurants and new people.

Yeah, you know you thinking about going to Austin.

No, it's it's trash. The vibe is trash. The commerce are cool, but it's bachelorette town. It's this worse.

I was gonna say, Yeah, it's basically Yeah.

Everyone would tell me before I went to Austin.

They're like, hey, have you've been Austina? Now, Like, if you like Nashville, you're gonna love Austin. Swampier, it's hotter, it's hotter for it hotter for sure. Yeah, I mean they both have music. I mean it's real similar. The trash like like thirty five year old bachelorette party with like smoke and lasers in a part that has seven people in it. It's just like, what are you doing? Yeah, it's garbage. Yeah, but that's just a downtown. It's cooler areas, Yeah, watching that's just a downtown.

Nation is a great area.

You can get land out here, you can move out here, income tax.

That's pretty key.

Yeah, it's fun.

That's pretty key that we're.

Gonna have to there's a lot of Shane and we get and we can pressure.

Like, oh, bros. I'm in Bros.