BEP 45c – Socializing: Keeping a Conversation Going

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for today's lesson on how to keep a conversation going while socializing at work. Before we get started, a quick reminder that a PDF transcript for this lesson along with hundreds of others, is available on the BEP website. Premium members can also access extra resources for every lesson. To take a free trial, just head over to www.businessenglishpod.

Some people are natural talkers. They seem to be able to start conversations and maintain conversations so easily. You might think this is an ability people are born with. either you have it or you don't either you have a social personality or you don't but conversation is actually a skill and if conversation is a skill

then you can develop it through practice. In our last lesson, we practiced starting a conversation with someone. Once you've got the conversation started, it sure is uncomfortable if you don't know how to keep it going. So we need a different set of skills and language to maintain the flow of conversation. One thing you might do in this situation is direct the conversation or change the topic.

And to keep the other person engaged, you want to show interest and comment on what they're saying. That makes them feel good and want to keep the conversation going. Showing interest often means asking follow-up questions. and showing empathy or personal care or attention. In this lesson, we're going to go back to the first dialogue we heard in the previous lesson, which featured Penny and George.

Penny and George work for an international company called Multifresh, which is hosting a conference for its employees. We'll hear how Penny develops her conversation with George as you listen to the dialogue. try to answer the following questions. 1. What is the word or topic that Penny uses to change the topic of conversation? 2. What experience of George's does Penny show interest in? 3. How does Penny react when George tells her about how difficult his experience was?

Interesting speech, wasn't it? Yes. Looks like we have a few challenges ahead. Speaking of challenges... Uh-huh. Was that you I saw in the talent showcase yesterday? Yes, I'm afraid it was. Did you really run a marathon? I sure did. Nearly killed me. What was it like? Well, it was tough. I trained for a year. A year? Did you really? That's a long time.

How about the actual marathon? How did that feel? Well, towards the end, I thought I was going to die. You poor thing. It's not really such a big deal. Lots of people run marathons. Yeah, I'd like to give it a try someday. you should why don't you sign up for next year's event now let's go through the dialogue again

and see how Penny maintains the conversation with George. We join them as Penny comments on a speech they have just heard at the conference. Interesting speech, wasn't it? Yes. Looks like we have a few challenges ahead. Speaking of challenges... Penny could continue talking about the speech, but as we will see, she knows that people like to talk about themselves.

and so she wants to change the topic from the speech to George himself. To change the topic, we can simply use a special expression like, by the way, or we can use something the other person says. In this case, George has used the word challenge, which means a difficult experience. Penny is going to change the topic to a different challenge. So she says, speaking of challenges,

as a way of transitioning to the new topic. If Penny just asked about a different topic without a transition, it would be very awkward. So let's practice some more ways of making a transition to a new topic. to direct the conversation. Speaking of travel, have you done any work overseas? That reminds me, are you working on anything new right now? On a different note, are you planning to attend tomorrow's session?

As you can hear, there are some special expressions that tell someone you want to change the topic, like on a different note. And that reminds me. So what other challenge does Penny want to ask about? Let's listen. Was that you I saw in the talent showcase yesterday? Yes, I'm afraid it was. Did you really run a marathon? A talent showcase.

is an event where people demonstrate or talk about their special talents or skills. At the conference talent showcase, Penny heard George talk about running a marathon. Now she is showing interest in his experience. If making conversation is difficult, just remember that people love to talk about themselves. That's why showing interest in the other person and asking questions about them is almost guaranteed to keep the conversation going.

Penny has asked George about running a marathon, or a very long running race. She says, did you really run a marathon, simply to invite him to talk more about it? What are some other ways we can show interest? and invite someone to speak more. Let's try a few more examples. Oh really? That sounds cool. Tell me more. Wow! I didn't know you were in that field. How did you get into it? Oh, nice! Have you enjoyed working on the project? Now let's hear about George's experience.

What was it like? George says the marathon nearly killed him. Of course he didn't almost die. This is just something we say when an experience is very difficult. And Penny keeps the conversation going simply by asking a WH question about the topic that George is speaking about. WH questions include using who, what, when, why, where, and even how. You can think of good WH questions about any topic to keep the conversation going, and WH questions about the other person are especially effective.

Let's run through some more WH questions you might use in a conversation. Where exactly is your office located? What kind of clients do you usually work with? Who do you usually collaborate with on projects? How does the conversation continue? Let's listen. how about the actual marathon how did that feel well towards the end i thought i was gonna die you poor thing as you can hear george gives a bit more information about his experience

Then Penny comments on that experience before asking another WH question about it. She asks how the actual marathon felt. As Penny shows, you can keep asking WH questions about the same topic to develop the conversation further. And when George says he thought he was going to die during the marathon, Penny responds by saying, you poor thing.

It's not usual to call a person a thing, and George probably isn't really poor. Calling someone a poor thing is just a way of saying, I see you had a difficult experience, and I have sympathy for you. Expressions of empathy and care for the other person make them feel good. It's all part of this personal approach to maintaining a conversation. Let's run through some more ways of showing empathy or personal care.

Oh no, that must have been so frustrating. That sounds like a lot to handle. Are you doing okay with it all? Wow, I hope things slow down for you soon. I can imagine that wasn't easy. Glad to hear it worked out in the end.

Now let's hear the end of the dialogue as George begins to turn the conversation back to Penny. It's not really such a big deal. Lots of people run marathons. Yeah, I'd like to give it a try someday. You should. Why don't you sign up for next year's event? George says the marathon wasn't such a big deal, meaning it wasn't such a serious difficulty.

Yes, he says he was going to die, but now with all the attention Penny has been giving him, he goes the other way and downplays the challenge before asking Penny a question. That's a good reminder. that if you're going to show interest in people during a conversation, you'll need to be ready for them to turn the conversation back to you.

Now let's practice some of the language we learned in today's lesson. Imagine you are at a conference with a food company. You're maintaining a conversation with someone who works in marketing. You'll hear a cue from the other person. then I'll give you a suggestion for what you can say in response. We'll guide you through each step in the practice and provide an example answer for each response. Ready? Let's give it a go.

We've had a lot going on with the marketing side of things. Start by saying it sounds like they've been busy. Then change the topic and ask what kind of product they launched. Answer. Sounds like you've been busy. And what kind of product did you launch? It's actually a new line of sugar-free soda drinks. Now say that's really cool. and ask how the idea came about. Oh wow, that's cool!

How did that idea come about? Well, we've had a lot of requests from health food companies. Now say that's great and ask what sales have been like so far. Answer. That's great. And what have sales been like so far? They've been good, but we're short-staffed. I've hardly slept because we're so busy. Finally, show personal care by saying that you can imagine it's stressful and tiring. Oh no, I imagine that's very stressful and tiring. That's all for this lesson on socializing.

and maintaining your conversation. We've learned how to direct the conversation and change the topic. We've also looked at how to show interest in someone, how to use WH questions, and how to show empathy or personal care. For more practice, Premium members can access the online resources and PDF transcripts for this and other lessons on the BEP website. Not a member yet?

then head over to www.businessenglishpod.com and sign up for a free trial to preview some of the extra resources available to members. Thanks for listening, and see you again soon.