EP 56 | Wedding Q&A

on YouTube. I did a 30 day vlog countdown. So every day for 30 days, for the 30 days leading up to the wedding, I was going behind the scenes as to what was going well, how we were prepping, how to plan a destination wedding, what you do when things go wrong, planning for a wedding but on the tail end. Now that the wedding has happened, I've experienced it. I've lived through it. Hopefully it is the last one. Everybody always says, you know, well, what if what if

you could do it again? I'm like, listen, I have no intention just putting this out there, zero intention whatsoever of doing this. Again, I learned my lessons. I don't need to really learn from them for another wedding. However, you can learn from negative experiences. I would be lying if I said that there were just only blissful moments because the reality is shit went wrong. Shit totally went wrong.

I can go into detail about some of the things that went wrong, but I want to get to your questions because on Instagram I put out a Q&;A response to get people to ask whatever wedding questions they had. So today I'm going to be answering all things wedding questions. Let's get into this first one. Were you nervous for your wedding? This came from Maria. Were you nervous for your wedding on the day of. I was pure giddy. Joy. Excitement. Just like, to be honest. Like I was happy. I

was incredibly happy. Brian and I did not do the traditional thing where you, like, stay in separate bedrooms. We stayed in the same bedroom the night before we woke up, and we were just excited about what was about to happen. We were looking forward to it. We got to share. In that moment, I didn't feel like I needed that time alone. I had plenty of alone moments ahead of time where I could really just be present for the process, and I think that that would be my biggest tip.

If you are feeling nervous, or if you feel like time is just flying by really quickly, I would do everything that you can to remove distractions. Like I didn't watch any television leading up to this wedding. Not that I watch a lot of television to begin with, but like I wanted time to slow down. That was a big intention for me. I didn't want it just to fly by and and everybody always says, oh, it's such a blur. It's like, well, if everyone says it's such a blur, how do I make it not a blur?

I don't want it to be a blur. Another piece on this is if you're nervous, the last thing that you should do is drink alcohol. I know that when I've been nervous in the past, like it's just easy. You feel like maybe. Oh, it'll make you feel a little better. Absolutely not. On the wedding day, I didn't drink at all. that night, you know? Let's just, like, really talk about what didn't go. Well, that might have something to do with the fact that on Friday night,

what was Sunday night? On Friday night, I just went crazy. I don't remember the last time that I drank excessively, like it's probably been since college. It's been years and years. I do not drink very often, and I just decided to take eight shots of tequila on Friday night on the dance floor. And if you know me or have spent time around me, me taking one shot is something that you've likely never seen ever. Unless maybe you went

to college together. Even then, I didn't drink very much, so I just decided to have the greatest time possible on Friday night. I'm very thankful that I did that. I had a blast. Like, I was just it's hard to, you know, continue to say I'm happy, but I was just so happy. So if you're nervous the day of again recommendation don't drink. Remove distractions. Try to be as present as possible because as you're approaching your wedding, everybody will talk about how much of a blur it is.

And I just wanted to make the active, conscious decision. Hey, wait a second. It is not going to be a blur. All right, let's see what other questions we got here. Have you adjusted to the word husband yet instead of fiance? That's an interesting question. Uh, yes, I have adjusted. Brian and I have been together for many, many years, and I've viewed him as a bigger role than just fiance for a long, long time prior to us getting engaged.

I think the reason that Brandon proposed, he says that he was always planning it, but I called BS on this prior to him proposing to me. We drove into this community that we are a part of in Mexico, and I was driving the car and I had to say, hey, it's Natalie Workman. Brandon Dawson and I are going to the ledges. That's the community place or. And the guy asked me, what's your relationship to the owner? And I said, girlfriend, because at the time, even though we got the place together.

I was the girlfriend and he was like, you're not my girlfriend. It's like, yeah, actually, technically I am your girlfriend. So it moved from girlfriend for like 4 or 5 years to fiancée for almost three years, and now husband. But we've been business partners. We are best friends. He is my mentor. Like the role thing. He's still that same person. But I would say that. What's changed? Question number three. Uh, Aaron asked, what's changed since you got married?

What's changed is we are in this together. We have always been 100% locked in together to each other, but more than anything, it sets the tone for everybody else around us that we are in alignment. We are in this for the long haul. We are committed to each other. Brian and I have a 25 year age difference, and I was very nervous and insecure about what people thought of us when they looked at us. I no longer

have those same insecurities like on a daily basis. I might think about it like once every couple of months when something comes up. But the idea of being a partner, like legally by the state of Florida, like we're recognized as a couple. And once that transition is made, not to us, but to everyone else. I do think that there is something different. I do feel different. It's not like, oh, it's just the same as when we were fiancés or when we were just dating like, no, we're freaking husband

and wife in every single day. When you hear the weight of a husband or a wife, it's a new role. It's a new set of responsibilities. It was never like we were going to go in or out of the relationship, but there's like no outs any longer. I like to reference Wedding Crashers, one of my favorite movies growing up, when I think her name is Elsa Fisher, the redhead, she's like, I will find you. She like, does this little thing will please drop that audio in here? Because it's hilarious.

I did not always think that that was going to be the case for what I wanted, but am so glad and like, feel very proud that that was the right decision for us and for anybody who is looking to take the next step in their relationship. All right, let's get into some more questions. Mike, Lulu asked, why did you marry Brandon and how did you meet him? I trust Brandon implicitly. Brandon has had the greatest impact on my life single, single handedly out of anybody that

I've ever met. He inspires me every single day. He pushes me. He doesn't listen to excuses that I come up with. He doesn't allow me to think that I'm not worthy of things he like. He really is the greatest mentor, but then also friend I've ever had. I've always struggled having girlfriends growing up. Like there was just some, like in high school and middle school, I just I'm

not one of those self-proclaimed like guys, girls. Like, I really wanted girlfriends, but I just never had a true best friend or a group of girls who were really supportive. And when Brandon and I first started dating, and still to this day, it's like he's my freaking best friend. We can be doing anything, anywhere, in any part of the world together, and we're good when it's just the two of us. And so there was never this moment

where it was like a light bulb. Like, I know that you were going to be the person that I'm with forever. It was just a long, slow build of confidence and trust and going after goals and being committed to the future. That made us pretty easily decide like, hey, let's let's make this thing official, let's move forward with all of this. So that's why I married him now how I met him. What a story. I'm going to give you the truncated version of the story because it

could get a little lengthy. I was 12 years old at a Super Bowl party that my parents threw. That's really like the punchline of the whole thing. We did not start dating when I was 12, however. He was my neighbor and he had just recently moved into the neighborhood. I started working for him about a decade later. We were working on this leadership project, and it was really the first time that I'd ever heard of personal development

and personal growth and how you can improve yourself. And so, through his leadership content, I was responsible for cutting up the videos and taking notes and restructuring some of his content. And through learning his content, I was like, wow, I've really made changes in myself. And he and I continued to connect over growth and development. So it's funny. Fast forward almost a decade like this is what we do

for a living. We help people grow and develop. But that's initially why I was working with him was to work on this project, and now it really is what we do as our life's work together. So that's the that's the short story. If you ever see Brandon in person, he'll give you the long story, which is also very fun and entertaining. All right. Let's see the other questions. Sariah asked. What is the most what was the most surreal moment for you being in Cabo and having the

most incredible people around to celebrate? This is a big one for me. If you are not married, if you are thinking of getting married, if you're recently divorced, I would recommend adopting this philosophy that I took into this marriage. I waited for years and years and years. We've been together for a very long time. But I waited to get married. I did not push it. I did not want this wedding until I was who I wanted to be. And a reflection of me or any person is the

group of people that they have around them. And I have great family and I have a handful of friends, but I five, eight years ago was not the same person that I am today. I didn't have a group of people who were supportive of me. I didn't have a group of people that would push me. I didn't have a large group that I was like, wow, these are the people that I'm going to keep in my life and that are going to continue to grow and

develop with me. And so for the longest time, I was just like, you know, I'm not ready to have this wedding because I want that wedding to be the future. I want to be able to look at these people and say, wow, they are responsible for helping me grow. And when we showed up in Cabo, I think the most overwhelming thing for Brandon and I is just the quality of the people that were there. For me. That's what it was. It was I have made a significant

amount of sacrifices over the last eight years. I've had to cut people out of my life over the last eight years to get to where I am today and to to have people who do love me and do support me around and and celebrating that moment. Like, I think the question was spot on, like the moment was surreal and it was really rewarding and gratifying for the work that both Brandon and I have done for the time that we've been together, in order to be able

to create an experience like that. Pablo asked, how did you determine a wedding budget and what to spend it on? This is a hot topic for weddings, to be honest with you. When Brandon and I both initially saw the price of this wedding, I was like, abso fucking lutely not. Like, no, we are not spending that much on an event for a weekend. I don't care that much about a wedding. Like, really, I'm not one of those, like, wedding girls. And then all of a sudden we saw the images and we

were sold on it. Like, we got sold on all of the different wedding things, and we really didn't stress around that. Initially, though, we were just I mean, we were like, let's just elope. There's no need to to spend this much money on something because it's an investment. And if Brandon and I weren't in the financial position that we are in today, I would categorically, absolutely tell somebody,

you should not spend money on this. Spend money on a ten year anniversary when you have created wealth, when you have created a business, when there's something that you're able to really like from a financial standpoint sink into, if you have these big, grandiose dreams about what your wedding looks like. In my previous podcast on this, you could go to it a couple episodes back called Wedding Planning from Hell. We talk about where we did intentionally

spend money. One of those items was having this big house for everybody to spend time in. We wanted to be able to connect with people. It wasn't just, oh, here's a spectacular event. To me, the least fun part of the whole wedding was the actual wedding. Like, yes, it was beautiful and all of that, but I really wanted to spend time with people that we love. That was the purpose for me. It wasn't just to have these photos and these videos of and these moments of

the event. And so if you are going to invest and choose to spend your hard earned money on an event like this, I would highly, highly, highly prioritize. Like, what are the moments that you can bring people together to truly celebrate? This goes back to the previous question. If you don't like the people that you're going to be spending time with and celebrating with, don't do it.

Don't put yourself in this very traditional wedding structure just so that you can spend time with people who aren't really supportive of you, who aren't on the same page, who aren't going in the same direction. Speaking of going in the same direction, Brian and I have been coaching couples for the last few years around. How do you get in alignment with each other when it comes to spending decisions? When it comes to business decisions and personal decisions,

like what do you do to create that alignment? We've created this alignment guide and I would love to give it to you for free. You can access it at Cardinal ventures.com/alignment that is Cardinal ventures.com/alignment in order to get this free downloadable as to how to take the next steps in conversations with a significant other or partner. Some sort of business partner for getting in alignment together. With that, I hope you enjoyed all things wedding. I'm definitely getting

used to Natalie Dawson. It's true that it is a little bit difficult to get all of these things changed, and to update your last name everywhere. My recommendation is it is certainly worth it. And the final note on This Is the Work Woman podcast will not be experiencing any name changes. We are not going to be doing work. Dawson work. Manson like none of that is happening. It is still staying as work. Woman. Even though my last name is Workman has changed because I'm still a work woman.

And if you are an ambitious female in the workplace who is a leader who is aspiring to be a leader, this is the place for you. I love that you're here. I so appreciate the loyal group of people who listen to this show. If this podcast has made an impact on you, please do me the greatest favor by sharing it, by ensuring that you're subscribed. And if you love it, leave a review. I can hardly wait to see you next Tuesday on work! Woman.