I Choose Joy | Chip Ingram

just didn't matter. He was just filled with joy. Many a time I'd get a text at 5:15 a.m. or something. We're both kind of early risers. Hey, bro. I miss you, man. Let's just get in the word together. I'll meet you at Pete's. You know, and the second person is, I have a sister who was her in her life. Really was the influence that led me to be open to later hear God's word and become a Christian. Her name was pinky, and she is a delight to this day and to this day. Some day, somehow, I want to

be like her, you know. I talk to her on the phone two days ago. She lives in London, Kentucky, and many of you know, you know, the big twister went through there. And houses in her neighborhood are demolished. And as I called her, I just called. Are you okay? Oh. Oh, yeah. We're out cleaning up. We're just helping people and. Oh, it's so sad. You know, they've lost their homes and this and that. And her attitude was like, you know, I'm sure the Lord's going to use this for for good.

And these people are hurting and we're helping them clean up now. And anyway, those are the two people that come to my mind that I don't have to be in their presence for more than about, uh 60s. That my countenance is raised.

had some big, big challenges in his life. His oldest son had some real mental bipolar type issues, and in a moment of weakness about three years earlier, committed suicide. And so he was joyful, but he carried a lot of pain. His son was a genuine believer. And he's reunited and, you know, again through one lens, my sorrow, through another lens. In God's kindness. He's reunited with his son.

So much of joy is about how you look at life and the grace to have the perspective that doesn't just live with the up and down of circumstance.

also be very negative. And for most people, happiness rolls up and down. With the economy's up, the economy's down. Health is up, health is down. Relationships are good. Relationships are bad. So happiness sort of travels on the seas of of circumstances where joy is the byproduct of a relationship with Jesus, whereby from within there is a perspective and an emotion and a mindset. It doesn't mean that things are wonderful. It doesn't mean that circumstances are great.

But there is an abiding, uh, holding up of your heart and your life and a connection with God that can bring joy. It was for the joy set before him. Jesus endured the cross. So even in the midst of those excruciating pain, difficulty and terrible circumstance, personally, we really can experience joy. But it's supernatural.

back issues that were like I'd never experienced. And I, you know, for the next two years I would be on ice every 20 minutes, almost 24 over seven. I kept pastoring, and because of technology, I could do like one message out of 3 or 4 and they would film it on this huge screen. I was laying on the on a table because I couldn't sit, because it

was painful. I couldn't stand because it was painful. Um, it was I did whatever kind of treatment you could possibly do, and for two years, the just the pain, it would wear you down, wear you down. And eventually I had a major surgery, and they bolted a couple of my vertebrae together and fused them. And that brought some relief. And then, uh, two and a half years later, the above and below, where they bolted my back, it broke.

And I had emergency surgery and the pain, they took me to the emergency room and must have given me something really strong. It's the first time in my life, Gary, I would say, if someone would have offered to shoot me. I would have said, just do it. It's a level I have never experienced and I mean insincerity. I don't mean that much as a metaphor and nothing touched it. I mean, they gave me 2 or 3 pain pills and nothing touched it. And then the rehab from all

of that. And then after all that, you know, it's months and months and months. And so, you know, it's like you're into between before the first surgeries, then the surgeries and later surgeries and then living with pain all the time. I probably had about six years under my belt of really, really, really hurting. And, uh, it was near the end of the rehab. And, you know, I was walking again and doing, you know, some stuff. And

I was sitting on the hearth. And my wife, she's really very godly, uh, very sweet, but she's also very direct. And she looked at me and, you know, I got up and I moaned and groaned a second and she goes, could you could you just stay there for a minute? I said, well, sure, honey. And she looked at me with those eyes like, I don't want to offend you and you know I love you, but can I tell you something? I said, well, sure. She looked at me

and said, do you realize how negative you've become? And my first response was, oh no, no, no. You know, hey, it just really hurts. And and then she said, Chip, when you get up, you groan. Everywhere we go, people ask about your back. You tell them about this, you tell them about that. And the lens that you look at, I mean, it's it can be sunny and all you see is clouds. You've you have been one of the most positive people at the time. We lived together and

been married for 40 years. It's 46 now. And she just said, honey, I want to tell you, you you know, you I think you do do well in larger public places, but you're you're becoming a very negative person. And I boy, I took that to heart. And as in the in the kindness and providence of God, I was scheduled to, uh, do one of those yearly things at the Billy Graham center, and was praying about, you know, what? What should I teach on? And, you know, I thought, you know, I'd

like to do something to build a rhythm. And I so it was like I started studying Philippians chapter one and I thought, forget the forget teaching anybody else, Lord, this is for me. And I begin to study this passage. And I saw, here's a man living with imminent death and uncertainty and in prison, and this book is filled with joy. And what I saw was it wasn't about trying hard to have joy. There were principles in this first chapter that literally I had to go into training.

I literally we can talk about it as we go. I mean, I begin to write down on some cards, here's your current thinking, here's what you've learned, here's the process. And I literally went into training and would read every morning, every night. And then I taught that and it it turned my life around. And it also had a huge impact on other people. And as a result of that, it was like, you know, people are struggling with mental issues and anxiety and discouragement. Um, and so I was

asked to make it a book. And so now it's a book. I choose joy.

he's writing to thank him. And he's also aware that there's a few external issues and some conflict and some things. But he wants to really thank him. And so, you know, imagine being chained to a guard new guard every six hours. You're in a Roman prison as it opens up after praying for them and saying, he goes, I thank my God and all my remembrance of you all, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all. And then he goes on and prays a very specific prayer.

But that struck me. Okay, wait a second. You're chained. You're in prison. We'll learn later in the chapter, you may be executed and you're praying with joy. And then I, then I notice the second thing is, is that his focus first is upward, and then it's outward on other people. And what I saw from that, Gary was, you know, it's yes, that was what he specifically did. But but

there's a bit of a principle here. When I found myself really discouraged and down and negative, what I, what I realized was my focus was on me, my circumstances, what I was experiencing when Paul was in terrible circumstances. His focus was twofold. It was upward. He's praying, but he's praying with joy, and it was outward. He was concerned about that. Them. So he prays that God will

reveal his love to them. And he prays that they would have wisdom and understanding and and that they could approve the things that are excellent so they could live this kind of life. And so the first chapter, the first section is I begin to say, you know what? I think there's a question I could start asking myself. And the first one would be Chip, where's your focus? The moment I start feeling down, discouraged, the moment I hear negative things coming out of my mouth. Ask, where's

your focus? Is it up and out or is it on yourself? Gary, if I can just be very candid because, you know, uh, I had to catch myself 30, 40, 50 times a day early on. I would hear me say something that was negative. Where's your focus? Me? Uh, I my my mind. You know, I got where it wouldn't come out of my mouth. And then I would start looking at a situation or my mind start thinking. And it would be like negative. Negative. Okay. Where's your focus? Me?

And so I begin to just ask that one question. Chip, where's your focus? Is it upward and outward or is it inward. And so then after I went through the entire chapter, what I saw was from that truth, there were like four questions that I started to ask myself that that each changed my perspective. And the second section, as he talked his circumstances, he says, have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel. The question there was, what's my purpose? In other words, he thought what his

purpose was to honor and serve God. And hey! The gospel is going forward, even though my personal life is going downward. Paul says, and this I rejoice. And what I realized was, okay, if I look at my life through the lens of how things only impact me, I'm not going to have a lot of joy. But if I can look at whatever's happening to my life through the lens of is this fulfilling God's purpose? How? How is God using this to reach people? How is God using this to build up other believers? How is God

using this to make me more like Jesus? So I started asking. Those were the first two questions. Where's my focus and what's your purpose? That created a little, I guess, what I would call a formula. And so I wrote that on a, on a separate card and it was the letter C plus the letter P equals E. Circumstances plus my perspective equals my experience. And what I realized was I have very little control over most of my circumstance.

I have 100% control over my p perspective. You know, like everything in life, you see people who have terrible circumstances and they have amazing attitudes and joy, and other people have not even to bad circumstances and life stinks. So that was the key. Realizing you have to change your perspective on life and by God's grace, you can do that as you begin to follow Paul's example.

or am I? Is it on God looking up to God and looking outward to other people? And then what's my purpose? How can God use this in a positive way, which he was? I mean, Paul wrote the whole letter in that situation. The letter of Philippians. So yeah. Well, you have two other questions that you discussed also. The next one is, is where is your hope? Why is that question important?

undermine my ministry. Guess what? God's using it to get the gospel out. And then he gets into his personal life, beginning in verse 19, and he doesn't know whether he's going to live or die. Gary. And he goes, well, you know, I'm not sure I may be executed. I may be pardoned, I don't know. And then he he talks about this dilemma of, you know, it's more profitable if I stay with regard to you. Right. You know,

I can keep ministering to you. It's more profitable to me because to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. So he looks at death in a very different way than than most of us do, even as Christians. That would be great. And then he concludes that my sense, you know, we just get this idea of the prompting of God's Spirit. My sense is, God's going to pardon me because your faith may need more encouragement, and I need to minister for a longer

period with you. But what I realized was what he does in that what freed him from the fear of death? What freed him from, you know, how is everything going to turn out? And being paralyzed by anxiety? What freed him was his hope was not in how things turned out. His hope was in the absolute certainty that the moment he would die, that he would be in the presence of Christ. And if that was not the plan, his hope was in the goodness, the kindness, the wisdom, and

the sovereignty of God. That a good God would only allow good things for the long term to bring about the highest and best results for the most people. And so his hope wasn't in, uh, something that was temporal. He had an eternal perspective that changed his whole focus.

showed up. And my wife said to him when he was at home visiting one time, she said, Derek, I'm concerned, son, you go out there, nobody knows where you are. You're by yourself. If something happened to you, we wouldn't even know about it. And he said, well, mom, what's the worst thing that could happen to me? I could get killed and I would go to heaven. A few years before you do. What is so bad about that, mom? Wow.

those that are longing for his appearing. But but I think, you know, a picture of heaven that is maybe a bit more popular that somehow we're going to be in a, you know, eternal worship service or there's nothing to do or, you know, we're going to float around with angels and sip iced tea or sort of these ethereal pictures as opposed to a new heaven, a new earth, a culture, a life that work perfect environment. You know, it's it's Eden on steroids for good and the greatest and deepest

things that will ever experience. I think the Apostle Paul, obviously, none of us know what his trip to the third heaven was or what he saw, but I think it's pretty obvious that he had such a clarity that there is nothing better ever, and that if that was the outcome, uh, a lot like your son's perspective is that frees people from from anxiety and fear.

destruction for them, but of salvation for you. And that too, is from God. And then you get these last two verses, and probably for years I might have skipped over these a little too quickly. He says, for to you it has been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for his sake, experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me and now hear to be in me. And as I studied this, Gary, when he gets this line, he says, for you it

has been granted. That word granted is the root word. It's for grace. And it's literally to you, Philippian church. God gave a grace gift and the grace gift. This is a privilege. This is this is something that's good. It's been granted to you not only to believe, but also to suffer for his sake. And I don't know that I meet a lot of Christians and I don't know that personally. You meet even a theology of people who are saying, how could suffering ever be great? And

yet Paul in chapter three is going to pray. He says, I want to know him, and I want to know the intimacy and the fellowship of his suffering. And I think we do almost anything possible to avoid suffering. And don't get me wrong, there's some perverted theology of, you know, you know, walking on hands and knees over a glass to suffer for Jesus. And we we've seen, you know,

bizarre things. But the fact of the matter is, is I think we live in a culture that we try to avoid suffering of any kind at all cost.

And so. But if our expectations are, we should never suffer. Or I must have done something terrible if I suffered, or God is not good if I've suffered. That perspective will cause people to do a nosedive emotionally and mentally, and sometimes well beyond. As opposed to oh, I joke, if you forgive me, I'm a I'm a sports guy. And so I've got a good buddy who, um, who's a tight end played pro football. And he was there's a number of years ago and he since has really

made a lot of progress. But he was really struggling in his marriage and he said, hey, can we talk? You know, let's go. Let's go play nine holes of golf. And I want to talk. And so we get first 3 or 4 holes, and I listen to all the struggles and this and that and this and that and this and that. And we get to about hole number four.

And finally he just looks at me and hands on his hips and he goes, you know, just no matter how hard I work there's something else to work on, something else to work on, something else to work on. He goes, Chip, I don't know. Is it worth it? This marriage is way too hard. Is it always going to be this hard? It doesn't seem fair. And in a moment of maybe love or a little sadistic humor, I said, now, can I ask you a question? He said, well, sure.

I said, now, you played high school football, right? And it was in a state place where it was really hot. I said, do you remember those two a day practices? Oh, man, those were murder. And then you play college football, right? Oh, man. Do you remember those two a day practices? Yeah. Remember lifting weights? Yeah. Oh, excruciating. And then you played football, right? Yeah, right. He goes. Now you're a tight end. Correct. Okay, so you you do an end route and you come across

the middle and you catch the ball. And a linebacker, I mean, puts his helmet right in your chest. Do you get up and put your hands on your hip and go, that hurts. That's not fair, boy. That's not nice. And he kind of smiled. So I said, so you're telling me that you were willing to batter your body, work like crazy, endure incredible pain, Sweat beyond belief. Lift weights. Almost 24 over seven so that you could catch a

football and have your career go forward. But you're telling me when it gets really hard to learn how to love your wife and be other centered, that it's too hard? And he looked at me and kind of shook his head. And what I said is, here's the key. What are your expectations? You expected two days to be hard. You expected when you caught the ball, you were going to get hit and really hard. And so your mental outlook and you prepared yourself. You want to have a great marriage.

You want to be a great father. You want to be a great Christian. Guess what? What you can expect is there's spiritual opposition you can expect. It's going to be challenging. You can expect that just like you don't respond right all the time. Your mate's not going to. No matter how much you love your kids, they're going to make some choices. It'll break your heart. What do you expect when you shift it from everything ought to be right, because I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.

And if God loves me, my life should turn out semi painless. That perspective will cause you to experience no joy in your life because it's a false expectation.

Good wonderful life. And and, you know, think about it, Gary. You and I and many people in ministry, we've studied the scriptures for how many years? And yet you suddenly fall into that. And and you think of how the apostles, they love Jesus, they followed him. They they did exactly what he called them to do. And and all but one, I think, were martyred. So were they out of God's will?

The Apostle Paul's perspective, you know, a parallel passage that in Romans five he tells us that, you know, we have peace with God, and we've been justified by faith and have peace with God. And we exalt and rejoice in the glory and this, this new life. And then in verse two he says, we also exult in our tribulation or our problems, our struggles, because tribulation brings about endurance, suffering through endurance and endurance, going through hard, difficult, painful times.

We're never more dependent. And in that dependency, what happens is we change proven character. And as we change that proven character and seeing God work in our lives, hope is born in our heart. That hope that God is faithful, that hope of the future, that hope of heaven. And he goes and hope never disappoints because it's there's this process of difficulty and pain and struggle. And where he says then that the the love of God is poured

out in our heart by the Holy Spirit. I think both of us would say, if you ask us to describe the people that know and love and emanate the presence of Jesus and are loving and kind and like someday I want to be, most all of them have been through levels of pain or difficulty or struggle or betrayal, and it's been in the midst of that, that they drew near to Jesus and experienced his love and his power that, um, that has made them because they've responded

in faith and dependency. The kind of people that they are. And, um, it's part of God's I mean, part of the game plan of transformation is, yes, it's being in God's Word. Yes. It's praying. Yes. You have to be an authentic community. And yes, suffering is a part of the journey that you can expect. But the promise is not that it will be easy. The promise is I'll never leave you. I'll never forsake you, and that he'll be with us.

And as he is with us, he not only can change externally the things out there, but he often does a whole lot more work in changing us.

greatest apologetic. And that's been true ever since. And so what I'd say to this person who's going through that and pastoring, as you and I have. There's still a lot of those people in my life right now that I'm going through some of those things with. It doesn't mean there isn't sadness and disappointment and temptations toward great anger and a process and grief. So this is not about denying your emotions or acting as though you know

you put on a smiley face. But this is saying, in the midst of this hurt and this pain, you stop, where's my focus? And then it's upward. God praise you that I don't understand it. I don't like it. It hurts, but I, I love you. You are a good and sovereign God. And so I'm going to pray for those people that hurt me. I'm going to to pray for some other people that have challenges and. Okay. God, this this is so unfair. What's your purpose in it? God what?

As my fellow workers, see what I do as I respond to being abandoned by this person who left with another woman, or left with another man, or a business partner who opted out and took all the money and no one knows where he's at. How I respond, Lord, what's your purpose in this? Yes. I'm hurt. Yes I'm mad. But as we lean in and then we can say, God,

my hope is in you. And sometimes we have to say that some of the deepest hurts reveal some idols in our life, some struggles in our life that God God wants to, for our good, purify and get our hope where it needs to be. And I think asking those questions, where's my hope? What did I really expect? And leaning in and just saying, Jesus, I don't like this. And I feel hurt and sad and mad and and I don't understand. And I feel confused. But I'm coming to you. Be with me. Encourage me. I have I

have learned more and more to live in the Psalms. Gary, in the midst of the hardest and most difficult times. And what you realize is you're not alone, that some of the people who know God the best, it's in the midst of those that he really will meet us. And it's in that overflow. He buoys us up. That's I don't know how else to say it. And and it doesn't mean that everything's wonderful or your emotions are up all the time, but there's a sustaining joy that

we can have. And it's here's the thing. It gives you strength. And that's what I want people to remember. This isn't like, well, this would be better for me, and I'll be more fulfilled and I'll choose to do these things. And I guess I should write these on these cards or get this book or whatever. No, no, no, this is this is about the joy of the Lord is our strength. Joy is I'm not a victim. Joy is. I will make it through this. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Joy is he

is with me always. And there's a testimony coming out of this. I will be a trophy of God's grace. And there's a setting your face like a flint, like Jesus did toward the cross. And there's a joy that boils up inside of you. That takes away that victim mentality. And when you tackle that, your whole perspective and your life, it becomes not only a great testimony, but you experience God in ways that many of us never have.

doesn't come naturally. You have to go into you have to retrain your brain and your mind and your expectations around what's true. People would laugh, but I mean, where's your focus, chip? What's your purpose? Chip. Where's your hope? Chip. What did you expect? And then and then underneath of it I rejoice in the Lord always. And again I say rejoice. And then I put a little smiley face

on that card. I it says smile and it says, you know, lighten up, be positive, don't complain, don't seek sympathy. All of that is on one card. And to this day, it's it's on my desk right in front. So every day I stare at that to go into training to realize I can't control what happens to me. I have 100% control. By the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit and the strength of His Word to determine how I respond, what will be my perspective? And as

my perspective goes, so goes my life. That's my hope for those people going through that hard time right now. It doesn't minimize the pain, the loss, the hurt, the sin of other people at all. That's not the message. This is not self-help. Talk yourself into, you know, a

better attitude. This is seeking God's perspective in the midst of a fallen world that allows you to experience the intimacy of Jesus, that produces a supernatural joy in the midst of circumstances that appear to others as completely unbearable. And God sustains you.

the longest possible time. And so when he wanted the gospel to go into all the world, and when he wanted Paul to fulfill his purposes, The kindest, most gentle and best way was for him to be in prison, chained to guards who would have exponential impact because of their status, the Praetorian Guards. And he would be in the center of the world's power, and people from strategic places all around the world would hear about Paul and

his testimony. And so, to fulfill God's purpose, because he's not only sovereign, he's also loving and all powerful and kind. And I think that's that's where we can go. When I had an experience that was I would just call it the, uh, the worst betrayal of my life, most painful thing I could I had ever experienced at the time. Uh, I've struggled and, I mean, I was really angry. And I went through all of, all measure of emotions. And I asked God, if you're really in control, how could

you let this happen? And I went back to if there was a kinder or gentler or better way for me to become more like Jesus, and for Jesus to fulfill what he wants to do in me and through me. I would be experiencing that now. You know, I had to check, you know, have I sinned? And that that assumption is, as far as I know, I'm walking with

the Lord. And I when I look back a many, many, many, many years now, that actual negative, terrible, painful event opened the door to steps that I would have never taken in directions I would have never considered. That probably has shaped everything that God's ever done in my life since. And we don't see the big picture. Kierkegaard said that you you can only understand life looking backwards, but you

have to live it forwards. It's in this moment of when it doesn't make sense forwards that you can look back. I often will get groups together and say, I want you to really think hard and I want you to share with me the most painful, difficult, ugly, whatever situation that maybe it happened five, ten, 20 years ago. That now when you look back, you see how it was used for good. And remembering those kind of things in the past often can help us endure so, so much.

I think what we want progress, and that's good. But sometimes the greatest progress is you endure. I mean, I don't like today, but I'm going to make it just for today. And then you get up and you just make it. You know, I can't do this tomorrow, but there's no grace until tomorrow comes. And that's a, you know, you counsel so many people. Gary, what do you say to them when really the goal, God's will, is endure right now and choose to rejoice even though you don't feel like it?

that you had for their years. I want to know, how's your back situation today?

high pain tolerance, which probably is is good. It's probably developed and I can honestly say, uh, you know, I'm still saying, you know what, Lord, I, I have seen you supernaturally heal people if you want to snap your fingers or you wouldn't even take that, I could be whole one second from now. I don't know how much pain I need to be as dependent as I need to be to do all that you want me to do. All I know is that this season of my life, I'm seeing God work in me and through me in

ways that I never dreamed. And I don't want to just get it out for some relief if, um, because of my hard headedness. And I really can be that way, if I need some level of pain, that allows me to be very, very dependent because it has and I'm at the core of me, you know, maybe everybody else does too, but I, I can be very self dependent and very proud and very arrogant. And when I'm in pain, uh, I'm not very tempted to be any of those things.

used of God to help a lot of people. I cannot imagine that people will just listen to what we're saying today and not want to go get this book, because I think God can use the things we've been talking about here to help them have a totally different perspective. So I just want to thank you for being with

us today. I want to thank you for writing this book and and for continuing to do you know, what God has placed in your hands to do in the midst of your present situation, which is what I hope all of us can learn how to do.