Fight Like A Man | Emeal "E.Z." Zwayne

master TV program and multiple Living Waters films. Easy's family immigrated to the U.S. from Lebanon when he was four years old, and he and his wife, Rachel, have five children. If you go to building relationships.us, you'll see his book Fight Like a man A Biblical Strategy for Achieving Victory in the battle for purity. Again, go to building relationships. Dot us.

were able to sponsor us and bring us over. And I'm sure as as you can probably imagine, it was quite an adjustment for me. I was about four and a half years old. So I'm in this new world, new culture, new language, and I was trying to sort of adjust to it all. And I had this somewhat of a kind of soldier chip on my shoulder, if you would, growing up in, in that war type of atmosphere.

And so from the outset, I just started getting into a lot of trouble here in the US and ended up hitting my high school years where I really got into big trouble, ended up becoming a member of the Crips. A gang member, got kicked out of two high schools, tried to commit suicide in front of my family. But as I'm sure we'll talk about here in a little bit, the Lord ended up invading my life August 15th, 1991 and and radically transformed me. And so these are the initials.

It's a lot easier to go by those in the full name, but that's kind of my story in a nutshell.

were wrong. But at the same time, I didn't have the power to overcome them or find victory in them. And so when I came to know the Lord, it was just this, the, you know, the new nature kicking in and this, this power that I experienced over sin, it was transformational. And after that, you know, after the Lord had revolutionized my life, I ended up becoming a pastor. And now I serve as the president of a ministry

called Living Waters. But in those pastoral years especially, I began to encounter so many men that were entrenched in this destructive sin of sexual morality and usually through the gateway of pornography. And, you know, in the preface of the book, I talk about how necessity and passion are really the two ingredients that are most needed for a book to truly have impact. And so the necessity was huge, and the passion to see men delivered from this sin

really burned in my heart. And so, so that's what stirred me up. And and, you know, the fact that so many men feel hopeless in this is something that gnawed at me because there is hope in Christ and there is the pathway and possibility for victory. And so that that really captivated me, and God burdened my heart for it. And I've been amazed to see the outcome, even so far, from those that have been impacted by

the book. It debuted on Amazon as the number one bestseller and the number one new release in its category, and the response from men that have read it already has been very encouraging and heartening.

that perfect righteousness. But practically I am called to live in holiness. Practically, I'm called as first Timothy four seven says, to discipline myself for godliness. I'm called as Second Timothy 222 says to flee youthful lusts. And so it's that determination as a man recognizing, look, I have the spirit

that raised Jesus from the dead dwelling in me. God has called me to a life of holiness, and now I'm going to practically obey him through the strength and grace that he supplies to flee from this temptation and lure to indulge in sexual sin, that is, that is dishonoring to the Lord, that's destructive to those that I love and that hinders my testimony and witness as an ambassador of Christ in this world for the gospel. Yeah.

But that's a tragedy. And oftentimes men are acting like a soldier who's deluded into thinking that he's on a luxury cruise ship heading for the shores of Bora Bora to an exotic resort, when in reality he's on a Higgins boat heading for the shores of World War II. Normandy. And, Gary, I'm sure you can. You can imagine a man with that mindset, you know, sauntering off the Higgins boat right

into the midst of the theater of war. Clad in a bathrobe, some fluffy slippers and a remote control in his hand, and you and I both know he's going to get smoked. And so I wanted men to understand this is a battle, and our enemies are fierce, and they're attacking us from every direction. We need to be ready to fight.

feel like doing righteousness. You know, that's exactly what you need to be doing. And so we need to understand that, you know, that low grade pull toward sin and compromise. It begins with the with the thought life that begins with the opportunities to engage in things that we know we shouldn't engage in. Those are all evidences that we have enemies, that they're real, that they are seeking to undermine anything that would bring glory and honor to God.

Because that's why we exist, right? As as the old confession goes, right to to glorify God and enjoy him forever. And often we disconnect glorification from obedience. But but they can't be disconnected. You know, first John says, and this is love, that we keep his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome. So it's this glad obedience that stands up in the face of these telltale signs that are seeking again to lead us to dishonor God. I mean, you could look at the life of job and you

could see what Satan was attempting to do. He wanted to disprove job. He wanted to destroy him. Well, the Lord wanted to to establish him and prove him and strengthen him. And so. So we need to understand that that those are all again, evidences of of us being drawn toward spiritual rebellion against the Lord.

single tree. And not just that, but he told them they can eat freely of it. There were no limitations given, but Satan comes in and begins to create discontent. You can't have it, all right? And suddenly kind of like, you know, in the Old Testament, in the book of of Esther with Haman, where it says everything that he had availed him nothing, just because he couldn't get that one thing, which was Mordecai bowing before him. Right. So

so he creates this discontentment. Then he hits us with disbelief. No, no, no, you will not surely die, he said to Eve. You're not going to die. The consequences for sin that God says are what they are aren't really what they are. And he does that with us. He hits us with, no, no, no, there really won't be ramifications to sexual sin. Well, first Corinthians 618 tells us that every sin that a man commits, he does outside of the body, but he who commits

sexual sin sins against his own body. It's set aside as a distinct sin with radical ramifications. And then finally he comes in with deification. No, no, no, not just that. You're not going to die. You will become like God. Your eyes will be open. You'll know good from evil. In other words, you'll become autonomous and you'll be the one to arbitrate what is right and wrong and what pathway you want to take in terms of morality in your life. And it's the same thing with us, you know,

he comes at us with that discontent. You can't have that sexual sin that you want. He hits us with disbelief. If you do indulge in it, no, don't worry, nothing's going to happen. And then in essence, you can make the call on your own life. You're independent. You should be able to determine what's right and wrong for you.

things I'd never indulge in. And little by little, as the influence of the world began to set in, all of that, you know, just kind of became a distant memory as I began to, to indulge in sin and

and I just. Yeah. Strayed further and further and went deeper and deeper into rebellion and immorality and and by God's grace, on August 15th, 1991, I heard the gospel and its full purity for the first time, that even though I had rebelled against God, even though I had sinned in the egregious ways that I had because of his love for me, because of what Christ did and his death and resurrection, I can be set free and transformed. And Gary, I tell you, it was as First Corinthians says,

I was a new creation. The old things had passed away, everything became new, and it was a realization that salvation was a free gift. I couldn't earn it, couldn't work for it. But God would give it to me on the basis of faith in what he did. And I just remember that night it was as if though the scales from my eyes had dropped and I finally understood what the cross meant. You know, I grew up seeing it in that church chapel every Sunday, and I understood

intellectually how Jesus died on the cross. But but I never understood its real essence and power. And so that night, when I heard God would be willing to set me free, I placed my faith in him and everything changed the way I walked, thought, act, and felt. I was literally a new creation. And. And here I am today with you.

And so there needs to be this pursuit of the Lord. You don't just turn away from sin. You turn toward the Lord, toward your Redeemer. Right? You run the race with endurance, looking unto Jesus, the author, and the finisher of our faith. And and so, you know, the problem is, though, Gary is a lot of men don't develop that spiritual

vitality in their life. They're not pursuing the Lord. They're living half heartedly consumed with the things of the world and being influenced by the world because we're very, very impressionable and the world is very influential. It's like a rock coming up against clay, right? It's going to make that impression. And we don't pause to be strengthened spiritually. And so then we drift. So yeah, the issue is Christ, he must be at the center of it all.

of heavens cannot contain. He cares for us. He thinks about us. His his thoughts toward us are more than the sands, like the psalmist said. And when you recognize that and what Hebrews says, he who comes to God must believe that he is, and he's a rewarder of those who diligently seek him. And then you begin to recognize that when he's your source, you're going to have the strength you need to to overcome the sins that beset you. Yeah.

to be lied to all throughout the day. And so we needed to be a people who understand that if we don't get a hold of our mind, if we don't inform our mind with God's word, with truth, if we don't put on the mind of Christ like Scripture talks about as well, then we're going to be swayed. And whenever you're not leaning on the wisdom that God has revealed to us through His Word, you're going to immediately, by default, give in to the wisdom of the world,

which we know is folly. And so we have to get to that place where we recognize we've created patterns of thought that have been informed by lies that have come to us through our enemies, the world, the flesh and the devil. And we need to reverse those lies by renewing our mind. And that happens through truth, and that's found in God's Word.

is a systemic issue. It's gone far beyond men. And I think by and large, it's due to accessibility. Back in the day, even if a man wanted to to look at some pornography, at pornographic as a teenager, you know, you had to have a friend whose dad had a stash of magazines, or you had to steal a video from a store because they wouldn't sell it to you if you're under 18 anyway. But now at the click of a button, it's accessible. And it's not just like you have to go to a location, sit down at

a computer. We carry these little tiny miniature supercomputers in our pockets everywhere we go. And so at a click, at the click of a button, like I said, you have access but connected with that now has, you know, been the element of curiosity. And so even women who wouldn't naturally have that bent in the same way that men would, because we are more visually stimulated. But women now are because of curiosity, beginning to dabble in it.

And it's tragic. And, you know, one of the things that's been encouraging is even though the book is designed for men, there have been women who have read it and who have said that they they found help through it as well.

going to help prevent that. And then communication to talk to them about the ravages and the destruction of sexual sin. So we sat our children down and we we talked to them about the fact that sex is beautiful. God designed it, but the world has tainted it. Satan has perverted it, right? Our flesh has has twisted it. But it's a beautiful thing. And then in connection with that, we talked to them about the ravages of sin in terms of the sexual realm. When we indulge in it

in a way that God has not designed. And so communication is huge and important. But if your kids are there and they're indulging in it, you can't treat this lightly. You know, Satan would have us think that it's not as major as it is, but it's huge. And so you have to intervene. You have to get in there, and you have to change the dynamics that make it possible for your kids to indulge. And then you need

to begin to spiritually counsel them. You may need to get your pastors involved and other spiritual leaders to help you, but you have to take action and do it quickly.

them as weapons. And so that one is creation. And that's wheeled wonders as wellsprings for worship, not weapons for wounding. And I get into the, you know, vision and cognition what your brain does imagination, creativity, recall memory. And then the coalition which comes from the word coitus, which is intimacy and the mechanisms involved in that and reproduction and

and so forth. Then I get into the cross. When we're committing sexual sin, we're doing it in the shadow of the cross, where Christ paid the highest price ever paid for anything to purchase our souls. And we're basically spitting on the cross and trampling it under our feet. And so we need to be cross minded in walking, in purity. And that one is cross. Stop spitting and

stomping on such a sacred symbol, then crisis. We have to think of the crisis that results from sin, the crisis of moral authority and conscience and leadership capacity and joy, and the witness that we're to have for Christ. And so that one is considered the catastrophic consequences of compromise. And then, Crown, uh, James tells us, blessed is the man who endures temptation. For when he has been approved,

he will receive the crown of life. There are spiritual rewards to be had in eternity by enduring temptation and not giving into it. And that one is envision endurance, ensuring eternal enrichment. And then the fifth C is crowd. And that's recognizing that there's a great cloud or cloud of witnesses that has gone before us in Hebrews. They endured it says they were even tempted, but they persevered

through faith. And then there's the crowd of our children and our grandchildren and our wives and and those that we've witnessed to and the believers that we've poured into. We need to recognize our sin affects them. And so that one is do as the departed did and don't dispense devastation. And then finally, the sixth C is, of course, Christ like we talked about before, he is the source of our strength for victory over sexual sin. And we

need to feast on him. He's our ultimate satisfaction. Not just that, but Hebrews tells us he sympathizes with our weaknesses. We can come boldly to his throne of grace to receive mercy and help. And then first John even tells us if we do end up sinning, we have an advocate with the father. These things were written so that you don't sin. But if you do, we have an advocate with the father. He paid for our sins. He

wants to come alongside us and help us. And that last C for Christ and the Alliterated sentence there is seek the sweet Savior for strength, satisfaction, and sympathetic support. And so I encourage men to to, you know, dive deep. I open all those things up in a deep way in the book, and I encourage them to meditate on those things, memorize those sentences, think on them every day. And in the midst of battle, they can go back to those as well. Yeah.

We have our our memories. We have our own depraved imagination. And so we don't need that. So, you know, the young man hung his head kind of in shame, a little bit discouraged, and he said, you know, I'm not doing too well there. And Gary, I felt this sort of zeal and passion for righteousness and purity rise up in my heart. And I said, brother, you know what? We just have to get to that place where we say,

enough is enough. I'm done with this. We just have to say, nope, it's not happening anymore in my life. And I said, in fact, you know what? We need to say that word nope out loud because that commits us. Nope. I'm not doing it. And you know, Gary? Nope has an edge to it. If someone says, hey, can you help me move house this weekend? You say, no, that's one thing. If you say nope, it's like, whoa, okay, this guy is serious about this, you know? And so I said, we need to we need to do it.

We need to say it out loud. And I looked at this young man and I could tell it resonated with him. It resonated with my own heart. It was something special kind of happened there. I couldn't explain it in words. But the next day I'm leaving home to go to the office. I'm in my car. I'm driving through my my neighborhood to go to the main street. When these two young ladies wearing barely anything came jogging by my car, I caught a glimpse of them in

my periphery. And instinctively I just caught myself saying nope out loud. And as soon as I said that, I thought, you know what? I wish there was some acrostic that could go with the word nope, that would have some meaning to it. And as soon as I thought that Gary, the words popped into my mind. Nope, nope. Not one peek even. Not one peek even. And I've shared this with so many men and the men that have read

the book. They've told me this has, like, transformed their mindset and understanding because it becomes this instant, this tool to where you meditate on it enough, you catch yourself instinctively doing it and saying it. But then I said to myself, well, why? Nope. Why not? One peek even. It has to be anchored to something. And what fuels it is love. And it's the five main things that I love. And you know, as I'm thinking about that, I envision my hand reaching out to grab Ahold of

the handle of the plow. Remember, Jesus said, if anyone puts his hand to the plow and looks back, he's not worthy of the kingdom. And that's kind of what it is. That's what we're doing. We're called to be focused on Christ, his kingdom. But when we're looking at sexual, sexually immoral images or thoughts or getting into sexual morality, that's what we're doing. And so I envision each one of the five loves represented by each one of my fingers. And as I'm saying it, each finger is curling around

that handle. And what is it that I love? First, I love my Lord, the one who paid the highest price that I mentioned to redeem me and save me. I'm not going to sin against him. I love my lady, my wife, who I vowed before heaven and earth to be faithful to. Who's who's the love of my life. I love my lineage, my children. That my sin will affect my grandchildren, even my those that went before me, my parents and and others. I love them, I love his lambs. I love God's people, those that I'm to

be a blessing to and to serve. And then lastly, I love the lost those that I'm called to be a witness to with the gospel. And so because I love those things, because I love my Lord, I love my lady, I love my lineage, I love his lambs, and I love the lost. Nope. Not one peak even.

helping hand toward sin and unrighteousness. And so we have to understand that, you know, the the problem is, is that most of the men out there today can have that self-righteous mindset, especially leaders. You know, the sad thing is, Gary, 18% of pastors say that they occasionally look at pornography. And it's that mindset of, no, I can't do it. I wouldn't do that. Underestimating the sinful nature. But I love what Voddie Baucham said. You know, he said that the

strongest man in the Bible fell into sexual sin. The wisest man did, and the godliest man did. If we don't think that our sinful nature is so depraved that we can't fall into it, in essence we're saying that we're stronger than Samson, we're wiser than Solomon, and were godlier than. King David. And that's just plain stupid, right?

gracious God, forgives. He does. But there are consequences to sin. The the sword never departed from David's household. I mean, there was destruction from that point moving forward. And again, this isn't to obliterate hope, but it's to bring sobriety. Look, you can't reverse the fact if you indulge in sexual immorality, that you have just been notified by your doctor that you're HIV positive. You can't reverse that, right? That's regret. You can't change the fact that you've now destroyed a

precious marriage that was beautiful. And and your wife now has divorced you and left you. You can't change that. You can't change the fact that that your children have have been harmed in different ways because of your sexual sin that led to your divorce and so on and so forth. Sin is a tangled web, and we need to recognize that. And so men need to wake up. They need to they need to pause and say, no, no,

this has consequences. And you know, Gary, the men that say, I can't help it, you know, I asked men this question. Sometimes I say, look, if Elon Musk committed $100 million to you, if you went six months without looking at pornography, You know that you would do everything possible to do it right. And so it's not an issue of we can't. It's that we won't. And as one author put it,

value impacts behavior. We need to reorient our value system so that it aligns with God's so that we see sin as hideous as it is, and we see righteousness as beautiful as it is. And we see his power as accessible as it is to be able to have that victory that he provides.

clean you up. Right?

And the gospel has a part of it. This great declaration that Paul makes in Ephesians, in him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins. And you think about that right when Christ died on the cross for our sins, he had to pay for all of our sins or for none of our sins at all, because we know that one sin. It leaves us outside of God's kingdom and earns us the judgment of hell for all eternity. As we saw what and what happened with Eden, a man and a woman eating a piece

of fruit in a garden thousands of years ago. And here we are. It shows how serious sin is in the sight of God. But. But here's where where that leads us. This leads us to the fact that when Christ died on the cross for our sins, we didn't even exist yet to commit those sins, which means that Christ saw us in our totality. He saw everything that could possibly be seen about us. And the Bible tells

us he demonstrated his own love toward us. The father did, and that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Which means that the joy that we experienced, the moment that we came to know Christ and were saved, is as valid as when we are in our deepest sin, because his his redemption of us was real. He knew all of our sin. He saw us completely, and yet

he still gave his life to redeem us. So the good news is, no matter how badly you fall and no matter how much sin you've committed, while there are consequences to sin, as I mentioned, there is forgiveness, there is redemption, and there is restoration that you can change the trend and head in the direction of holiness and righteousness. I've seen God do this in so many men's lives, and for those of you listening today, he wants to do it in your life. Run to him and let him set you free.

It speaks the truth, and it has a confrontational element to it without needing to be confrontational in the sense of being harsh or mean, but recognizing that we're sinners as well, even though our sin may be different, but approaching that person with intentionality but at the same time with compassion and with hope, it's hugely important because, like you said, there is that that element of shame that's

involved there, and there's that sense of hopelessness. But being able to approach them with truth, but also with the recognition that this sin only gets worse, right? Sin is enslavement. As Scripture talks about who you obey, you become that element's slave in essence. And so you want to you want to direct them toward help. You want to direct them toward others who can get into their life and

help them. It's a man accountability and and counsel from other men and and and direct them toward Christ first of all. But then those who are servants of Christ, who can help them in this battle.

that in a different way. Oh, I guess all I can do is talk to the omnipotent, omniscient, Omnipresent, sovereign, all powerful God of the universe. I guess that's all I can do. And by the way, the one. The one who loves me infinitely. That he paid with his blood to redeem me. Now, look, we have to understand that it's through crying out to the Lord that we're going to see intervention in our lives, right? Scripture says

you have not because you ask not. Right. And so we need to understand those words that James utters it, that man, we need to cry out to God, casting your cares upon him. He cares for you, letting your requests be made known to him, and understanding that that God divinely works through prayer. It tells us in First John that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know he hears us, we know we have the request we've asked of him, and we know that his will is that we walk

in purity. I mean, it tells us that in first Thessalonians four three through eight that that this is the will of God, that you abstain from sexual immorality, uh, that you you determine to. To put that off and walk in holiness. And so it's also a connection with your God. When you develop that intimacy with him and that close relationship, it's going to change your desires and your pursuits as well.

to him or a friend gives it to him. But somebody needs to get it in his hands because it will help him. So thank you for being with us today, and may God continue to give you wisdom as you minister not only in this area, but in other areas, pointing people to Christ.