Be a Great Leader by Friday | Kevin Leman

Those are a couple of thoughts that come to my mind, but I am really excited about our program today because Doctor Kevin Lehman, I've known him for a long, long time. And I think this is going to help a lot of folks. And listen, everybody's a leader in some area. Okay.

His book, Be a Great Leader by Friday is our featured resource. Just go to Building Relationships us.

The imposter actually wore the same clothing that the shepherd had on. They digitized his call. And today, with electronics, you can nail a sound perfectly. And they bellowed it across the meadow. And all the sheep did something interesting. They turned around and they looked, but they didn't follow the imposter shepherd. Isn't that interesting? We think that sheep are stupid. I'm here to tell you. I think sheep are pretty smart. But if you're going to be a leader.

And by the way, if you have to tell people that you're a leader, you're not. The point is that for a leader to be effective, there has to be that authenticity. And without that, you're going to fail. So this book that I've done, uh, be a great leader by Friday, and I admit, I got hung up on Friday on several of my books, but it's really it's really the sequel to The Way of the Shepherd, which has been a mega bestseller. It's still in hardback for

20 years. Anybody who knows the book industry knows that after one year in hardback, it gets dropped into paper. So the way the shepherd is sort of the big picture of leadership, this is sort of for the person who is struggling from the wannabe a leader to the

CEO to the CFO. It could probably be titled How to Succeed in Life, because I think the basic truths that are in this leadership book help you in every aspect of your life, whether it's your marriage or your parenthood, or in your work as a as a manager or a business person.

called The Way the Shepherd. And we did it together. And, you know, when you do a book with two people, it's not always easy to synchronize. But we pulled it off. And to date, I just looked at the book. I just got a royalty statement last week from the publisher, and I believe this figure is accurate. It's at 237,000 copies sold in hardback. And as you know, in hardback, that's you've sold millions, as have I, in some books. Uh, but you just you just don't get those kind of

numbers without it scratching where, where people itch. Yeah. In fact, I just got a call from a big church in California where they just ordered 4000 copies of that way. The Shepherd book, so for their congregation is a gift, uh, to their members. But, um, I I'm getting away from my point. So, yeah, that's the big picture book. And, uh, it was a God thing, I say, because we went to the convention and you and I know a lot of different publishers, and I ran into a guy over

at Zondervan in the backdrop. Was that his family? Guess what? They raised sheep. So I was just sort of shopping this idea around to publishers. But on first strike, when I met this gentleman from Zondervan Publishers, he fell in love with the idea. We rolled with it about nine months later. We had a book in hand and and

it became an immediately a bestseller. The the irony is, and this is just for you, Gary, not so much for our listeners, but in fact, I wrote a note to Zondervan once that said, you know, I think it'd be a really good idea to maybe tell people that this book is out there. So if it sounds like I'm flaunting them publicly, I don't mean to, but, you know, I've seen it all in the publishing world. I mean, I wrote a book once that I thought would be a mega bestseller. It was the worst one I ever,

I ever released, so who knows? But this is a book that really for that person, how do I become a leader? This is sort of a step by step, loaded with tips and stories from other leaders, uh, as well, about how do I get from A to B?

could do is just ignore it. But who wants another email? And so I talk in in be a Great Leader by Friday about the power of a personal note. I have personal notes from people who I love and respect. I have to tell you, Gary, I haven't thrown any of those out. I got to know Herb Kelleher. In fact, I interviewed him and got to know him fairly well, and he was the chairman of the board of Southwest Airlines.

He was the youngest child in his family, by the way, which proves that great leaders can even come from the baby position of the family. If you've ever flown on southwest. You probably had more fun. On southwest than any other airline you've ever flown. They give their flight attendants great leeway and entertaining people as they give those announcements. It's just a fun airline. But three years after I had visited with him extensively, I ran into him by accident

at the Dallas Fort Worth airport. He, without blinking an eye, he looked at me and said, Kevin, how are you? He had a he was a great leader. But he said something that's really interesting. He said, you know, at southwest, we're in the service business. And it's incidental that we also fly airplanes.

It's treating people the way you should treat people. But it is a guide to success for those who are wavering and not sure how to proceed.

I dedicated my very first book to him. He said, Lehman, with your grades and your record, I couldn't get you into reform school. But looking back, looking back, I had a sister who was perfect, an older sister who ended up being a children's pastor. Okay, how do you beat that one? And then I had a brother who was a straight-A student as well. And I've psyched myself out. Shrunk myself. Years ago, I was the baby of three. I had two little bluebirds above me who did everything right.

And looking back, I think I made a conscious effort to be the best at being the worst, because that's how I got attention. And so when I do TV shows in New York on those morning shows. My litmus test is do I get the audio guy and the the lighting guy to laugh? Well, I've had some long talks with God about that because drawing attention to you self is not a good idea. I mean, God hates pride and I've I've talked my way around that one.

I've learned to be joyful for other people's success. Uh, and I think that's really a gift that God gives you over a period of time. But no, I think looking back, I, I was sort of a born salesman because I that's how I got around things. People ask me about all the things you've done in life I've gotten, you know, you get honorary doctorate degrees and accolades from

different groups and stuff. And I say, well, when I think about what I've done, what really makes me laugh is I talked my way into Disney World for nine free tickets. It took me 20 minutes. I planned on ten, but I did that, you know. Your wife Caroline. Your wife, Caroline has a similar personality to me. I hope you don't regret me saying that.

And now I tell people, you know, when God gives you the gift of humor, use humor, but do it for the right way. I mean, how do you survive doing the view on ABC as I've done a couple times without using humor. Those women could care less about me, but I use humor to keep them at bay.

And the answer is no, they don't, because the firstborn is going to read Car and Driver magazine. The firstborn is going to look at the specification page. Us babies of the family. We could care less about the specification page. We say such profound things on the car lot is Shazam. Do you have one with gold trim? I'll take it.

So to to get behind that person's eyes and to make sure that person is not only on the right bus, Gary, but the right seat of the bus, you really have to have to take the time to know and learn and understand how that person sees life. So this isn't rocket science. There is a method to the madness, so to speak, here.

corner in five hours. And you you pounded on doors and you sold magazines. Well, I came back, I had my orders with me. And back in those days, a full magazine subscription. This was 1962, I believe. A magazine subscription was $87.50. And the kicker was to always get the up front money, which was $2.50 with the order. So you'd knock on the door and say, I'm doing market research in your area, and you hand them a card, say, just pick any seven magazines you want, absolutely free. That

was the pitch. Mm. I take the orders back. I still remember the woman's name. Her name was Joyce Berman. She was the. And she looked at me and she looked at my order. She said, what is that? I said, those are my orders. And I thought, oh, I'm in trouble. I didn't sell enough magazines. She said, those are your orders. And I said, yes. She said, come with me, Calvin. She called me Calvin and she and she took me into the boss's office and she said, look what Calvin did.

I had 27 orders, which I later found out was a record for a morning walk in a neighborhood for this company. And I think it was then that I figured out, you know, I could sell things. But what really bothered me, And this is again before I became a Christian, is I didn't like the way the pitch was. I felt like we were pulling the eyes, the wool over the eyes of people, so to speak. Yeah. And so even though I was successful at that job, I

moved along. But to show you that God still has a plan for your life, I moved from selling magazines door to door to getting a job as a janitor, making $195 a month full time. But I've got to hurry because I know we're short on time. My life changed one day when this five foot, nine inch beauty walked down the hallway while I was holding a mop. And that same day, I met her in the men's restroom. Believe it or not, she was helping some little guy

go potty. But she was the one that Jesus used, that God used in my life to turn my entire life around. Because she popped the question three months into dating. And she said, would you like to go to church with me? And my real honest thoughts were, oh no, she's one of them. If there's one thing I didn't want to be was a Christian. And then she asked me to go back at night. Why would you go back at night? I already went in the morning. Didn't I do it right? But that night, I'll tell you.

I remember the beads of sweat on my forehead. Gary. I walked out that church, a new man. I accepted Christ. I didn't know who Jesus was, quite frankly, at that point. I didn't know where he was going to take me. But I said, okay, I'm going to trust you. He gave me instant motivation, went back to school full time, got on the Dean's list my first semester and never looked back.

other people. But it starts with a look in the mirror. That's a good starting point.

which comes right out of Saint Paul's mouth. Encourage one another. We want to give a lot of vitamin E encouragement to those around us, but I pointed out that all my editors have been firstborn or only born children. My personal assistant, Debbie Backus, is a firstborn. She's been with me for 35 years, played piano in her church. A great lady, but as a baby of the family, I am not a detailed person. I have to admit that I fly by the seat of my pants a lot

in life. I pray for guidance, but I do a lot of flying and sometimes I get in trouble. But if you know your weaknesses and my weakness is detail and organization. I mean, I'm the founder of eight charter schools. How do you function as the chairman of the board, for example, without being detailed? Well, you have some help. I have a personal assistant that does a lot of

organization for me. And so building a team, when you think about your team, whether you're a small business owner or whatever, you don't want a bunch of people who all think the same or all have the same birth order. I just got hired to speak to the Western Orthopedic Surgeons Association meeting out in Hawaii this summer, and I've spoke to them before, and I can tell you what my opening line is right now to the orthopedic surgeons. Why would you hire me to speak to you guys?

Because I can't tell you guys anything. No one can. And they laugh at themselves. They know who they are. But you, you want your anesthesiologist. You want your orthopedic surgeon to be a perfectionist. But I point out in this book, the perfectionism is slow suicide. The perfect one is Jesus. So stop chasing the perfect thing and pursue excellence in your life. You said something really profound at the beginning of this interview. You said the leader solicits

the advice of other people. Yeah, and if you're going to be a good leader today, there's a must.

And people follow leaders who are decisive and are specific and obviously have thought out plans and strategies that work. So I think any leader would tell you, I speak to the Young Presidents organization. I've been their resource for many years in many situations. I've been to one of their universities down in Mexico City, where you're met with a police escort, Gary, at the airport, and they take you to the hotel, probably because they don't want you shot.

I don't know why they do that, but, you know, at Ypo, these guys, they call them young because to be in Ypo Young Presidents organization, you have to be under 50 years of age to be in it. Once you become a 40 niner, you sort of sort of graduate into another group. But all these guys, for the most part, are multi-millionaires. They're movers and shakers. They warned me when I first spoke to Ypo. They said, listen, these guys are so driven to get every bit of

information from every speaker. Don't be offended if people leave your session when you're speaking. Well, me is the baby of the family. I took that as a challenge and I said to myself, I'm going to just see if anybody leaves my session. And you get like two, 300 people probably in each session, maybe more. And I can tell you, no one left. No one left. And the most common, uh, feedback I got from people was I loved your down to earth, honest, real life examples. I

love the way you talked. I could listen to you forever. Well, I think again, as a leader, you have to adjust the people's levels depending upon who you're talking to, and you have to identify with them. And that's why you hang out with them, you know? In the old days, the shepherd was he was literally the gate. The sheep might be in a pen, but he actually laid down so that he knew if a sheep was, you know, trying to get out at night. He was the protector

and the good shepherd. We see that in the Bible. You know, he went way out of his way to help that one. I mean, that real shepherd. Again, back to the word authentic. He's got to be real. He's got to love his people. But the good shepherd, he also had this thing called a rod with him. And the rod, by the way, wasn't used to beat the sheep over the head. Okay. I would take issue with anybody on that. But there's times when Gary Chapman, the shepherd,

would say, okay, sheep, come on, let's move along. And, Gary, you might have one little sheep who looks at you defiantly, sort of like a four year old would do a mom or dad. And, you know, sort of dig their hoofs in and say, no, I'm not moving. Well, the good shepherd, Gary Chapman, would go over with his rod. And what would he do? He'd give him a little poke in the tail, move him along. He would use

the rod to guide the sheep. And so when we think about leadership, we're not talking about biting people's heads off or humiliating them, calling them, calling them out in front of other people, we're going to use our heads. And so the rod of correction, you know, that's the time when you take that employee behind the closed doors. You speak the truth in love and you essentially say, you know, I want you to know I believe in you. I think you can do this, but I think we

need to do some things different here. If you need some help, I need to know what specifically you need help with. And we'll get some people to help you, because I want to see you succeed in this job at this organization. That guy cannot walk away thinking, or that woman can't walk away thinking, boy, they don't care about me because they do. They're just trying to help.

you know what? Um, she's got a better idea. She's the firstborn. Okay. You put two firstborns, she says all you got to do is go down here and hit this street, and you buy on the interstate in a second. Well, that's how firstborns are. They can spot a flaw at 50 paces. They tend to know everything. Okay. They've been the centerpiece of their family since day one. So, yeah.

Two firstborns. Uh, or how about two babies? They've been in that same room for an hour, and one of them says, hey, I forgot what was the assignment they gave us to do?

I always point out to people who are interested in birth order identical twins. When I found this out, Gary, I cried and laughed at the same time. Identical twins who have the same DNA have different fingerprints. Why did God do that? To help the FBI. Or was this God's way of saying, you are my son? You are my daughter. You are different than everyone else. So I would just say to any leader, get behind the eyes

of these people you work with. Figure out what strengths each person has and make sure you have diversity in the strengths in the teams that you build on that corporation or business called the bus.

basic types of leaders in life, Gary. There's the authoritarians who see themselves as the boss, who just tell people what to do. Then there's the permissive who are driven on the premise that everybody has to like me. Well, good luck with that. And then there's the authoritative leader, and that's what I would like to see in action across our country today is leaders who are authoritative. Those are leaders who's who's no is no and who's yes

is yes. There are people who aren't afraid to make decisions. They're not overly impressed with trying to make everybody happy with the decisions that they're coming up with. But in the process, they're soliciting the input of people that work with that leader. That's what's really important. In fact, that was one of the things I think you mentioned at the beginning of this interview that the smart leader solicits opinions, welcomes feedback from those around him. You got to be

pretty secure. You want people around you not who are just a bunch of yes people. You want people who are going to sometimes challenge what you're thinking about. It helps refine the the metal, so to speak, by putting the thing to the fire. So there's a lot to being a leader. But, you know, people have said to me over the years enough that I feel free and sharing this without trying to sound pompous, but people say I never get lost with big words in your books.

You keep things simple down to earth. And I think successful people and people that I've really admired in life, people that I've rubbed shoulders with over the years. I think what attracts me to some of them, most of them, I should say, is they're down to earth Nature. I've done all those secular shows on TV, you know. Really? I've done. There's hardly one of them I ever missed. But I think of Regis Philbin, who has now left this earth. He was the most down to earth guy

I'd ever met. And interestingly enough, the governor of Oklahoma, Frank Keating, invited me and a fellow by the name of Bill Cosby. And I spent the day with Cosby, and he was so down to earth and nice to people. And when the tragic news came out about his his life, I was devastated. I thought, how could that be? He took time to talk to people that, quite frankly, he didn't have to talk to. I'd met a lot of I won't name names on people. Big time celebrities. You'd

know every one of them I'd name. But I didn't even like being around, to tell you the truth. I just sort of avoided them. So I think if you come in, don't be impressed with yourself, okay? I don't if if God's giving you success in life, then thank God for your success. Okay. It's real simple. Yeah. Don't think you did it. Because, God, if you're a believer and you said, God, take charge of my life. Trust him in all things. Then give God the glory. Don't.

Don't sit there and try to make yourself into something that you're not. I've always used self-depreciating humor, which sort of helps me travel that gauntlet in life. I've done that, I think, fairly well for a baby of the family anyway.

while with your wife and to prioritize. And I always get people's attention with this. But hey, pastors, don't put the church first, okay? Put your wife first. Your kids need to be like, Avis, rent a car. Number two and trying harder in some place. Some people are saying, well, wait a minute, hold on a Where's God in all this? Well, God's in everything that's a given. But in terms of people,

you know. Oh, honey, I'd love to help you, but you know that there's a board meeting down there, and you know how Harry gets some nights I better go down there and make sure that things run smoothly. I think pastors run the risk of feeling like they're indispensable. And they have to be. They have to have hands in everything in the church, which they don't. I think pastors, many of them, make the mistake of making their wife feel like she has to be thoroughly involved in the church.

I'll get people's attention with this one. I don't think a pastor's wife has to be involved in anything in the church. Anything if she doesn't choose to.

if you're real, uh. Then prioritize. Be the model to your people in life. And I'm not talking about being perfect. I think one of the great things I love about my pastor is he's vulnerable. He shares in the pulpit sometimes things he struggles with. That's a source of encouragement to me, not discouragement. Yeah. So I would say to everybody, uh, this is February. We got Valentine's Day in this month. Uh,

some people call it the Love month. What was the last time you took the time to write a note to your pastor or to your kid's Sunday school teacher and say, hey, I appreciate if you still have a choir in your church or a praise band or whatever, taking the time to thank people for the hours that they put into preparing for that Sunday morning worship. Yeah,

I mean, stop stop thinking about yourself, right? That powerful, uh, note packed with vitamin E, which is encouragement, just thanking people for the contribution that they give back to this body of believers called the church. Yeah, stuff like that.

love that little scripture. And he he gives six little verses there. And I took ten major themes from those six verses. But I love the fact it says, and he will direct your paths. And I want to remind people in life, God doesn't give you just one path. Gary, when you started out ministry, did you think you were going to be a New York Times best selling author?

call Fred and Fred. Fred have been talking, thinking about you this week, and I've been thinking about what I said to you at that meeting. And I have to tell you that I. I'm really ashamed of myself. Would probably be the best word. I think I mistakenly just ran over your feelings, and I'm just profusely sorry that I did that. Now I'm just telling you that that

will solidify the relationship with that guy forever. In fact, research says this when you buy a product or obtain a service and you rant and you rave and you write a nasty note or whatever, and that person comes back and apologizes to you for the poor service, puts it in writing, says hey, comes back and gives. You'll take 22 different actions in one week to tell people about this wonderful business that you were going to file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau about. Why? Because

they apologize. They made things right. So as a leader, be the first to say, I'm sorry I was wrong. Would you forgive me? Those are people that will attract attention. Those are people who will be leaders that people will want to follow. Yeah. In fact, let me give you a quick a quick little out of raising kids. They always say, don't try this at home. I'm saying to every young parent listening, you got a kid between 3 and 4. Try this at home. Say to a 3

or 4 year old with your arms outstretched. Come here. Nine out of ten times the kid will go south. If you want the kid to come toward you, extend your arms toward the kid. Say the same words. Come here, but walk backwards slowly. And that little guy will come to you. It's a word picture, but it works. And that's how you have to be with people. You don't carry a big stick.