Why We Share

Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. Without anybody asking, my friend Sophie tells everyone that she is vegan. She then proceeds to tell them how much they would benefit from changing their diet as well. According to her, she only wants to "help people see the light."

Unfortunately, all they see is another crazy vegan putting jackfruit on their plate and calling it "pulled pork." When I asked her why she does this, she said, "We've all been raised to believe that Sharing is Caring." But I am not so sure it always is. A few organized religions send missionaries door-to-door to spread the word of God, to recruit new members into their church, and to offer people another shot at salvation.

Even the phrase "Sharing is Caring" is a biblical reference, often quoted, but more often misunderstood. The Salvation Army actually coined the term with a trademark in 1950, guiding us all to "share what we have with THOSE WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE." And that, right there, is the problem. When it comes to offering food and shelter to those who have none, sharing IS a wonderful idea, even "holy," if you must.

But for someone to preach to people who follow a different religion, or none at all, because they are seen as "less fortunate," and to do it under the guise of "Sharing is Caring," is anything BUT caring, loving, or kind. In that instance, sharing is actually demoralizing. It's what Non-Violent Communication calls Unsolicited Advice. It's when someone with a superiority complex thinks they are "helping" those who are "less fortunate" or "inferior."

That superiority complex is exactly what sent me running from Judaism in the first place, where believers chant “Adonai Hu HaElohim,” which means "My God is THE God," implying all other gods are false. Oy! The reason this is such a slippery slope is because I'm here sharing my views with you, so how is this different? I used to think it had to do with the intention behind the sharing, but that's not it at all.

I mean, my friend Sophie has the best intentions when she talks about her plant-based diet, and the missionaries who knock on your door to save you from eternal damnation are also trying to "help." So when does sharing stop being an act of caring, and starts becoming a form of harassment in disguise? The distinction, I believe, is determined by whether we are ASKED to share, or if we simply graffiti our opinion on everyone.

In other words, Sophie, even though I also follow a plant-based diet, so I'm certainly not criticizing your decision there, if nobody ASKS about your veganism, your political views, your sobriety, or how many dogs you've rescued, and you take it upon yourself to tell people about it all, there is no way to avoid possibly coming across as someone with a superiority complex who needs to feel good about themselves by standing next to those you judge as "less fortunate."

Few people know this, but that's why I became a spokesmodel for Smirnoff Vodka the same week I gave up drinking 20 years ago; I wanted to make sure that I never start thinking of myself as "better than" people who drink. We are all equal. We share so much with one another because I believe it's our human impulse to connect, whether it's to share our joy with each other, or because misery loves company.

Unfortunately, sharing is sometimes used as a weapon to manipulate, guilt-trip, or shame others into feeling "inferior," which, again, is just another way for the ego to feel good about itself. It's up to us to detect what's hiding behind the scenes. It isn't always pretty. I totally get why "Bible Pushers," as they are called, shout about their faith from mountaintops after it has enriched their own lives so much; I want to do the same thing

when I discover a new restaurant that blows me away. What I NEED to do, however, is practice restraint and avoid talking about it unless someone actually asks me if I know a great place to get something specific. What drew me to Buddhism is its "hands off" approach, so to speak, where each practitioner simply vows to be kind and do less harm, but never to recruit.

In the spirit of quoting biblical references, even Matthew 6:1 states, "Don't do your good deeds publicly or to be admired by others." You see, Jesus can't be blamed for what is being done in his name. And if a Buddhist temple tries to recruit you, it's a business move, not a Buddhist one.