Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. I'm recording this on Thanksgiving, so I want to use this opportunity to thank all of you listeners for making the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast possible without commercials, ads, or sponsors.
I receive so much feedback, and many letters and comments from people saying how much they dislike other podcasts constantly interrupted with "This Podcast is brought to you by so and so."
And even though I receive numerous offers every week from sponsors willing to pay me literally thousands of dollars to mention their product or services on the podcast, I love the fact that we make it possible thanks to listeners like you who show their support with as little as one dollar a month through Patreon.com/BuddhistBootCamp I'm doing this for you, after all, not for some company looking for ad space. So, thank you. Not just on Thanksgiving, but every day. I appreciate you.
And speaking of things like ads that are frustrating, I used to get frustrated with friends who not only refused to do whatever it would take to make their own lives better, but they continued making decisions that made their bad situations even worse. I mean, from the outside, the answer to their problems often seemed so simple...
Leave the toxic relationship, for example, stop spending money you don't have on things you don't need, sell that extra car sitting unused in the driveway, eat more of this, drink less of that, you get the idea... But then I realized that nobody will choose to let go of what they still believe has value.
If someone you know is refusing to quit a behavior that is clearly detrimental to them, it's not because they don't want to improve their situation, it's often because they still find value in the dysfunctional relationship or terrible job, for example, the unhealthy habits, or that junker in the front yard.
Even if the value is not apparent to an outside observer, there are many elements other than pure logic behind people's decisions: there is sentimental value, a mindset of scarcity, identifying with the ownership of certain things, fears, anxieties, and so on. The value may not be to their highest good, necessarily, it may be to their egos, image, or reputation; something more important to them than their well-being.
As a rule of thumb, therefore, just remind yourself that nobody will choose to let go of what they still believe has value until they either finally see it as worthless or, better yet, they see the value of letting it go. I can't say this next part enough: we often get stuck thinking how much something improves our lives, we lose sight of how much our lives would improve if we were to let go of it completely.
I'll try to say that again... we so often get stuck thinking something improves our lives, we lose sight of how much our lives would improve if we were to let go of it completely. And there's another reason people don't let go of what is detrimental to them: they sometimes don't know how. They don't have the tools, or the skills, or the screwdriver with which to unscrew themselves, so to speak. So, let's not get frustrated with someone who isn't using a tool they don't even have.
And it's not that some of us are "better" than others... I don't think we were meant to all have the same set of tools in the first place. I think the tools are divided amongst us by design so that we help each other out. Some of us have the hammer, others have the nails, and together we can build a brighter tomorrow instead of getting angry with someone for not doing something they can't. Heck, let's show them, not get mad at them.
Think of a box of crayons, but nobody has all the colors, so we need to share in order for the Blues, the Greens, and the Reds to all come together. Let's not shame someone for not being where we want them to be. Let's use their situation as an opportunity for us to pause and reflect on our own blind spots, sweep our own front stoops, and stop telling other people, "You know what your problem is..." because that sentence has never started a healthy conversation.
Saying, "I know what MY problem is," however, has often led to tremendous growth. So, start there. Thank you, again, for supporting the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. I appreciate you. Happy Thanksgiving! Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless and Buddhist Boot Camp.
For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com, where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project, watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list. We hope you have enjoyed this episode and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions. Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏