Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. When you think about it, our life generally unfolds in somewhat predictable phases.
When we outgrow our childhood fascination with cartoon characters, for example, we put those toys away, develop a teenage crush on some Hollywood star or singer, hang posters of them all over our adolescent bedroom walls, only to replace them with something new a few years later. As we age, we shift our focus to academia or a career, raising a family, pursuing the arts, always maturing in stages.
Our spiritual path, however, is a little less predictable. We either deepen our existing connection to the traditions with which we were raised, or we do a complete 180 and explore beliefs and values that more closely resonate with us as we grow older. We take one step, evaluate, take another step, evaluate again, and so on.
With absolutely no idea where the path will lead, our spiritual journey is different from a trip to the grocery store —where the destination is clear— it's more like reading a novel, where each chapter blends into the next, but in a book that never ends. As I had mentioned in the episode called Relapse, we don't spiritually grow in a linear fashion, we often make mistakes along the way, fall down, get up, and try again.
My own personal journey has focused on transitioning from being rigid to being gentle. And after all these years, I just realized that I've been going about it all wrong. I've been regularly scanning my thoughts, words, and actions for signs of rigidity, and then polishing down those rough edges in an effort to smooth them out. This method initially makes sense, but it completely overlooks the fact that we see what we seek. What we think about, we bring about.
And since I was constantly thinking about and looking for my rough spots, it's all I saw, and that created a vicious loop of identifying with who I no longer wanted to be. What I NEEDED to do, and what I will start doing from now on, is acknowledge where I am already gentle, and encourage more of that. Positive reinforcement works!
It reminds me of the story about the two dogs who walk into the same room at separate times, and one dog comes out wagging his tail, while the other comes out growling. A woman watching this went into the room to see what made one dog so happy and the other dog so mad. Much to her surprise, she discovered the room was filled with nothing but mirrors. The happy dog found a thousand happy dogs looking back at him, while the angry dog saw a bunch of angry dogs growling back.
What we see in the world is a reflection of who we are. So, what do YOU see? I was looking for role models of gentleness, and at our last monthly Buddhist Boot Camp Discussion Circle, we tried and miserably failed to list examples of gentleness in our everyday lives. After 30 minutes or so, we were only able to come up with butterflies, deer, the tide, and Mr. Rogers. That's it! Our culture tends to glorify being busy, hustling, multi-tasking, and
instant gratification, not a slow, quiet, gentle, and leisurely pace. We don't have many role models for gentleness, so it's no wonder I had no idea what it looks like. For so many years, I've been saying: Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate, yet it took me this long to realize this also applies to our own habits and personality traits. What we think, we become. So, promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.
I started this episode by saying the spiritual journey is different from a trip to the grocery store, but as I get older, I sometimes need to go back to the store because I forgot something the first time around. I forgot that what we think we become. If we focus on what we lack, the void becomes greater, so let's promote what we love to bring it into focus. Our growth is not linear; we zigzag our way up this mountain, and I'm grateful you walk beside me on this gentle path.
Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless and Buddhist Boot Camp. For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com, where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project, watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list. We hope you have enjoyed this episode, and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions. Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏