Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. Perfection. Is it a gift? A curse? Or a little bit of both? I used to think that striving to be a perfectionist was a positive personality trait because it meant paying great attention to detail, working hard, and diligently aiming for what is best without settling for less.
But what is Perfection, and according to whom? The entire concept implies a hierarchy and a constant judgment of better and worse, comparing everything to some ideal or standard to which we are all subjected since birth. Our obsession with perfection starts with getting perfect grades, or having the perfect body, perfectly round or sharp corners, perfect teeth, architecture, a perfect score, perfect pitch or tone, and terms like "Proper" and "Inappropriate."
We tend to be drawn to symmetry and balance, and I didn't even realize I was judging the world this way until I heard the Japanese term Wabi Sabi, which actually celebrates asymmetry, rough edges, the incomplete, the simple, and the natural integrity and impermanence of everything and everyone. Something isn't deemed beautiful because it's perfect or everlasting, its beauty is embedded in its very transience.
After years of trying to measure up to one idea of perfection, Wabi Sabi is a refreshing practice that embraces what is slightly marred, scarred, aged, nature-made, and jagged. I'm not just talking about aesthetics, either. The more I think about my old definition of perfection, the more I realize how I've been measuring everything and everyone against impossible standards. And I know what you're thinking: don't we need some standards and to set the bar somewhere?
Well, Wabi-Sabi doesn't lower the standard or does away with it, it changes it. For me, the shift was from looking at something and contemplating whether it was perfect, efficient, or ideal, to simply asking: Does it work? Never mind if it's a little wobbly or doesn't match, slightly uneven, isn't built to last for decades, or is slightly off-center. If it works, then it's perfect.
There is no English term for Wabi Sabi, I could only come up with rustic or makeshift, but neither of those captures the magic of it all. When I took a ceramics class last year, and the cereal bowl I made didn't turn out identical to the perfectly round bowls I could buy at any store, I threw it away. I know... I completely overlooked the fact that my bowl's uniqueness is not only what gave it value, it would have served its purpose just fine, if only I had kept it.
I now consider Wabi Sabi an invitation to ease up, loosen my grip, forget the conventional idea of perfection, and stop judging anything as subpar just because it doesn't measure up to, dare I say, Western standards? It took traveling to a third-world country and witnessing Wabi Sabi as a guy on a motorcycle with a broken headlight, holding a flashlight in his hand to see the road at night. Farmers spreading unhusked rice grains from the fields onto the hot pavement
to dry in the sun. The elderly revered and honored instead of tucked away in retirement homes so we don't have to be reminded of old age. Mismatched utensils, hand-drawn street signs, and huts that are built entirely out of old plastic bottles. It's like everyone was a modern-day MacGyver or a genius out of necessity, and guess what? It works. So stop expecting perfection from others. I mean, it's not like you can offer it in return.
A few people at our recent Buddhist Boot Camp Discussion Circle mentioned Native American tribes, the Quakers, and many other traditions, who purposely add so-called imperfections to artwork, for example, as a reminder that only God is perfect. The overwhelming response to this invitation was that we need to set some standards for the sake of safety, for example, but that we can all afford to loosen up a bit.
I can't tell you where to set your standards, but you can ask yourself if your standards are working FOR you or AGAINST you, because at the end of the day, only you know the answer to that question. I only share this with you in hopes that Wabi Sabi offers you as great of a relief from the burden of judgment as it has given me. And this will either be a tiny shift for you or a massive undertaking, but either way, let's practice Wabi Sabi to transcend perfection.
Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless and Buddhist Boot Camp. For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com, where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project, watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list. We hope you have enjoyed this episode, and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions. Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏🏼