Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. I have never been as upset with someone I've never actually met as I've been with whoever lives upstairs from where I've been dogsitting for the past two weeks.
Every sliding door in the unit upstairs sounded like a train was going through the apartment below, and every footstep above shook the picture frames on the walls next to me. From the sound of chairs scraping against the floor overhead, to music coming through the ceiling, I swear, it once sounded like they were bowling upstairs. On my third day there, construction started on their bathroom renovation.
I was absolutely exhausted, violently furious, and as my friend says, the streets of my mind were not safe for anyone. I couldn't get any work done during the day, and I didn't get any sleep at night because I couldn't stop thinking about how inconsiderate it is for the people upstairs to do whatever they want with no regard for how their decisions negatively impact others. Suddenly, any thought about "The People Upstairs" took on a whole new meaning,
it wasn't just the neighbors above me. "The People Upstairs" became a reference to the few people at the top who pass laws that affect everyone below. In business speak, "The People Upstairs" is a reference to upper management making decisions that affect every employee. And in politics, it's the Supreme Court changing local regulations. "The People Upstairs," and I'm no longer talking about the neighbors above me, are the ones who decide what noise is considered a nuisance and what is not.
Can they tell people not to run the dishwasher after 9:00 p.m. because it sounds like an airplane taking off in the apartment below, or would that restriction infringe on the tenants' rights to do whatever they want whenever they want to? Keep in mind that for the past three years, my friend has been paying thousands of dollars each month to live like this in an apartment that he absolutely loves, completely unbothered by the same noise that nearly drove me crazy.
This beautifully ties in with the last episode about perspective, and how something that one person considers unbearable is not a big deal for somebody else. Does that mean it's perfectly okay for the people upstairs to be completely inconsiderate of how their choices affect others? That's a tough question to answer. Who do we ask? Every spiritual teacher I've ever had has held both of my hands in theirs at one point, looked me in the eyes, and said, "Oh, Timber, you are such an idealist!"
And it's true. I'm not suggesting tenants shouldn't be allowed to renovate their bathrooms, for example, but it would have been nice to receive notice in advance so that everyone in the building could plan accordingly. Some apartment buildings do enforce such requirements, but others do not. If my friend was bothered by this, he could afford to move somewhere else, but that's a luxury that many people don't have.
There are people in apartments, cities, states, or countries, where decisions made by "The People Upstairs," so to speak, impact their everyday lives. I recall my visit to the Philippines, for example, where divorce is not an option because "The People Upstairs" are against it. Is that absurd? Or is it absurd that more than half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce? I don't know. What I consider ideal is what someone else perceives as chaos. Does not make me an anarchist?
Only in their eyes, which is fine, as long as they are not one of "The People Upstairs." We can't all live on the top floor, and we can't all stay happily married 'til death do us part. So, we keep changing "The People Upstairs," who keep switching the rules dictating what is allowed and what is forbidden. Perhaps we will keep dancing that way until the end of time.
Every community that has ever attempted to implement one rigid set of rules to apply to everyone has eventually deteriorated because it became exclusive instead of inclusive. This explains why Christianity now has more than 45,000 denominations around the world. There is no "One Size Fits All."
Perhaps the problem at my friend's apartment wasn't the poor construction of the building, nor the mindlessness of the neighbors upstairs, maybe the problem is that I kept trying to make my friend's place what it is not: a quiet sanctuary. Don't get me wrong, the apartment has its redeeming qualities, but silence is not one of them. The Philippines has many redeeming qualities, as does America, and everyplace else.
If this episode helps one person become more mindful of others, then I consider it a win, whether they live upstairs from someone, or they pass laws that affect everyone. It's not easy being mindful all the time, and now I wonder if it's even possible. The first principle of Buddhist Boot Camp is that the opposite of what you know is also true, because if you can make peace with that, then you can make peace with everything.
Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless and Buddhist Boot Camp. For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com, where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project, watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list. We hope you have enjoyed this episode and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions. Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏🏼