Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. There is an old story of a monk, who one day decided to meditate alone, away from the monastery. So he gets into a boat, and rows out to the middle of the lake, throws in the anchor, closes his eyes, and begins the meditation. After a long while of undisturbed silence, he suddenly feels
the bump of another boat colliding with his own. With his eyes still closed, he feels his anger rising. How could someone be so rude and inconsiderate? By the time the monk opens his eyes, he is furious and ready to berate whoever dared to disturb his meditation. But, when he opens his eyes, he sees an empty boat that probably got untethered
from the dock and floated to the middle of the lake. At that moment, the monk understands that the anger was within him, it only needed the bump of an external object to provoke it out of him. So whenever I come across someone who irritates me or provokes me to anger,
I remind myself that it's just an empty boat, the anger is within me. And anger is like a mask covering hurt feelings or fear, and since it has somehow become socially acceptable to publicly express frustration and irritation by yelling, slamming doors, giving someone the finger, or storming out of the room, we rarely get in touch with the true origin or the trigger of our anger.
The monk, for example, felt disrespected and was hurt. You can imagine what the vulgar, modern-day response to something like this happening in this day and age, but it's all just pain that comes out sideways in the form of anger. And that's because sensitivity and vulnerability are still frowned upon as a sign of weakness, especially with men, even though honesty and grace are significantly more courageous
than a bad temper. So next time you are angry, see if you can trace the origin of that feeling to its root of disappointment, shame, fear, hurt, impatience, or embarrassment. Learn to skillfully explain those feelings instead of the anger, and you'll quickly find peace from understanding the misunderstanding. Feeling anger, however, isn't a bad thing, it's arguably a very natural trigger that something is out of balance.
But acting out of anger is most certainly a problem, because it takes that internal dis-ease and pushes it outward. That's when good intentions motivated by anger can cause more harm, because anger turns into hatred and rage, which is not only unproductive, it's dangerous. So when you're disappointed or irritated, take a moment to think about what you would like to accomplish. You'll find that screaming or acting out, for example, will rarely if ever get you the results you're after.
Many people say this is easier said than done, but when you contemplate the ease or difficulty of any practice, don't forget to consider the challenges of the alternative. As difficult as it may be to express our insecurities in a healthy way, it is far more damaging to lose our temper or keep everything bottled up inside. Remember the Freudian advice that pain does not decompose when you bury it.
See if you can trace the origin of your anger to its root in hurt feelings or fear, and try to EXPLAIN your anger don't EXPRESS it, you will immediately open the door to solutions and understanding. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." And I not only agree, but strongly believe that no one can make you feel anything without your consent. But we'll discuss that and the difference between feelings and emotions in another episode.
If you find value in these podcasts, please show your support on patreon.com/BuddhistBootCamp I extend a most deep and heartfelt bow of gratitude to you for your support. Thank you. Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless and Buddhist Boot Camp. For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com, where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project, watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.
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