Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. I think that because we all like to feel in control, we even get a false sense of security and comfort from the illusion that we think we know what the future holds.
We intellectually understand that many factors can get in the way of our assumptions, yet we brush them aside so we can cling to our perceived reality. At best, we make plans for tomorrow because we assume we will still be alive. But at its worst, we presume to know how other people will behave or respond to us, even though intention and impact don't always align.
It doesn't matter how good the intentions behind our actions may be, their impact is subject to elements that are out of our control, like unforeseen circumstances and/or other people's perception. It's been said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but don't let that discourage you; I see it as a reminder that even though I can decide on a course of action I need to completely let go of my attachment to any expected outcome or reaction.
When I used to manage an online art gallery, for example, regardless of how the artist and I tried to price the paintings, the value of the work was ultimately determined by the collector who wanted to buy it, not by us. Every once in a while, nobody wanted to buy a complex drawing that took many hours of love and skilled labor, yet pieces that the artist considered downright juvenile sold for thousands of dollars. The value of the art was not up to us.
Does that mean the art that didn't sell is worthless? Not necessarily. A few years ago, my friend got into a terrible car accident that sent her to the hospital for X-rays, which was great, because that's how and when the doctors found her cancer early enough to remove it before it spread. If it wasn't for the car accident, who knows if or when she would have discovered the tumor So, was the car accident terrible? Great? Neither? Or Both?
And as one more example, for good measure, let's not forget that almost a decade ago, when my friend first suggested that I compile the emails I had sent to her over the course of eight years and publish them as a book, my initial reaction was, "Why? Who would want to read them?" And she said, "That's not for you to decide." "You just publish the book, and other people will decide if they want to read it."
This brings us to a tricky dichotomy: on the one hand, the value of the book, the car accident, and the artwork, is determined by the people impacted by them, but on the other hand, none of us are worthless, even if nobody sees our worth. Buddhism teaches us that we are all Buddhas, even though some of us are too blind to see it Or, if you prefer, we are all God's children, even though many of us don't feel worthy of God's love. So, what do we do?
I believe we need to get out of our own way, so to speak, stop trying to control everything, and catch ourselves when we attempt to do the thinking on somebody else's behalf. Let's stop assuming, presuming, or deciding things for others, but rather decide for ourselves what is beautiful, important, valuable, or worthy of our attention, time, or energy. If someone doesn't see your worth, it doesn't mean you are worthless.
As a mantra, I often ask myself repeatedly, "Who am I to decide?" And that really puts me in my place. Just as someone's nightmare is my personal dream-come-true, and vice versa, I default to believing that everything and everyone is valuable to someone somewhere, depending on their time, place, or circumstance. But either way, IT'S NOT FOR ME TO DECIDE. And... do you know how liberating that is?
Can't you just feel your shoulders relax when you think that? This is another invitation for each of us to remove ourselves from the center of the universe. Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." So, let's give life more than a passive, dismissive, or perfunctory glance, and examine it until all concepts of worthlessness disappear. This will bring us closer to our Buddha-nature than we were before.
Loosen your grip on every step of the process and completely let go of attachment to a preferred outcome or end-result, because IT'S NOT UP TO YOU. And what a relief that is! I find that everyone says they want a life of leisure, but very few of us
do anything leisurely. We spend so much of our lives white-knuckling our way through everything, which is why I hope that this podcast, when listened-to frequently enough, can help us come to terms with the fact that we can't calm the storm, so stop trying... what you CAN do is calm yourself, the storm will pass. Relax your shoulders a little bit, and exhale. Struggle is not a requirement. Enjoy the journey. I appreciate you walking beside me on this path. Namaste.
Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless and Buddhist Boot Camp. For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com, where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project, watch Timbers inspiring TED-Talk, and join our monthly mailing list. We hope you have enjoyed this episode and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions. Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love.