Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. In what is normally a quiet, seaside community, the neighbors who live across the street from me had a large gathering in their house last week, which meant more cars than usual were parked all over the neighborhood.
One of those vehicles partially blocked my next door neighbor's driveway, not so much that she couldn't get in and out of her garage necessarily, but definitely with more difficulty than usual, as it was partially obstructed. I'm just setting the scene because people often describe everyday scenarios to me and ask me how they should respond, whether it be at home, at work, or out in public.
What's funny is that, as you know, I don't believe in telling anyone what they "should" or "shouldn't" do, so regardless of the situation, my answer is always the same: a peaceful person responds to situations peacefully, while an angry person reacts angrily, a pessimist assumes the worst in people, while an optimist tends to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, maybe even to a fault.
There is no right or wrong way to respond, yet people over-explain the details to me because they are looking for some sort of permission or validation that their behavior was all right. But who am I to judge? I just point out that we are not defined by the circumstances in our lives. Our identity, and personality, is actually shaped by how we choose
to behave in various situations. Most people blame how they are on what happens, but I'd like us to consider how much of what happens is shaped by how we are. Let me get back to the car blocking the driveway scenario; how would you respond? Would you simply let it go knowing full well the driver will soon leave and what has never happened on your block before will likely never happen again? Would you leave a note on their windshield alerting the driver to the inconvenience
they've caused? Would you knock on the door and ask them to move the car? Would you call the police or a tow truck? Or would you, as my neighbor opted to do, immediately erect a large, homemade, wooden sign, staked in the front yard, with big, capital letters, painted in red spelling, NO PARKING! What would you do? It turns out the gathering across the street was a wake for a recently deceased relative.
And the driver who blocked the driveway was elderly, to put it mildly, certainly distracted considering the occasion, and though this does not excuse the infraction, the driver definitely had no ill-intentions whatsoever. Would finding out the reason for the gathering across the street change your reaction? What if it was a Super Bowl party? What if it was a baby shower? Would the neighbor's race make a difference?
Despite us wanting things to be so easily explained, why we behave the way we do is actually not dependent on outside circumstances, it has everything to do with who WE are. The age, race, or gender of the driver is irrelevant, as is the reason for the gathering. Once we decide what kind of person we choose to be, nothing else matters. If we are committed to being kind, for example, then we will be kind in every situation. This does not mean we roll over and let people walk all over us, unless,
of course, that's the kind of person you decide to be. What I'm saying is: it is all our decision. Yeah, the little kid in us wants to say, "Yeah, but..." or "He started it," while the adult in us struggles to take control of the situation.
Last week, I met a woman who purchased one of those "Practice Random Acts of Kindness" stickers for her car, and a "Namaste, Love, and Peace" sticker to go on the windshield, but she wasn't quite ready to stick it on her bumper, because she knew that once it was stuck on the car, she would need to drive with more consideration in order to avoid being a hypocrite. So I'm not asking you What Would Jesus Do? or What Would the Buddha Do? I'm asking: What would YOU do?
If you were to put up a sign in your front lawn, what would it say? No Parking? Stay Off My Lawn? or Have a Nice Day? We may not be in the business of putting up signs, but we all post on social media, for example, and what we choose to post says a lot. You see, we don't so much DISCOVER who we are, we CREATE who we are, so choose wisely. Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless and Buddhist Boot Camp.
For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com, where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project, watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list. We hope you have enjoyed this episode, and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions. Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏🏼