Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye. "If you think you are enlightened, go spend a week with your family." Oh, that quote by Ram Dass is so funny because it's true. You were likely told as a kid that family is the most important thing in the world, that family comes first and loves you unconditionally when others may not.
Heck, I thought the same thing until my own family disowned me for living a life different than the one they had planned for me. I shouldn't have been surprised now that I think about it, because cutting off family members was common practice with my parents, be it estranged brothers and sisters, or my parents making up their last name before they got married, because my mother wanted nothing to do with my father's side of the family, let alone carry their name.
In fact, my sister and I weren't even allowed to meet anyone from my father's side of the family, which shows you just how deep and petty a grudge can get if left unchecked. So, family wasn't all that important in practice as it was in theory. We've made up since then, but we're not the Brady Bunch by any stretch of the imagination. We're more like acquaintances with blood relation, and that right there is an important distinction.
For years, I confused the word Family with the word Relatives. Your family isn't necessarily blood-related, it is the people in your life who want you in theirs, the people who accept you for who you are, they are the ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what. Blood makes you related, but it's loyalty that makes you family. In Hawaiian culture, for example, it's common for children to call neighbors, friends, and even complete strangers, Uncle or Auntie.
We've all heard the phrase, "Blood is thicker than water," but I always assumed it meant that blood-related family is more important than anyone outside that circle. It wasn't until recently that I learned the origin of that phrase: The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. It literally means the opposite of what I always thought it did.
So, when someone says, "Family is everything," if by "Family" they mean that we are all brothers and sisters who need to care for one another, then yes. But, if by "Family" they are referring to a hierarchy, wherein the people related to us by blood are more important or superior than others, then we're talking about segregation, separation, and division of the world into Us and Them, which is at the root of all wars and conflict.
I truly believe there is no us or them, there is just a big "WE" and we are all in this together, regardless of race, gender, age, nationality, relation, or even species classification. We are one big family. I am your brother, whether you like it or not. Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless and Buddhist Boot Camp.
For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com, where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project, watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list. We hope you have enjoyed this episode, and invite you to subscribe for more thought-provoking discussions. Thank you for being a Soldier of Peace in the Army of Love. 🙏