Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.
I was in my 20's at the height of the 90's club scene, either spending my nights standing in line with cash in hand to pay the cover charge so I can get out of the cold and onto the dance floor, or cutting to the front of the line, where the bouncer recognizes you, smiles, and lets you in because you are on the guest list as a friend of a friend of the manager, the bartender, or the DJ. Young and broke but addicted to bass, we did everything we could to secure a spot on that
guest list. In our eyes, the bouncer at each local club was right up there with Saint Peter protecting the pearly gates of heaven, where the Gods spun records, and nothing else mattered. The bouncers were to be respected because they had the authority, the power, and the
muscle to kick you out or let you in. Bouncers are also responsible for making sure the male-to-female ratio inside a club is balanced, and in some extreme cases, their job is to only allow pretty people to get in; every club has different criteria.
I am telling you this because many people tell me they feel like failures at meditation when certain thoughts still show up, but silly as it may sound, I picture a bouncer in my head deciding which thoughts are free to join the party, which have to stand outside, and which are banned for life. Even after years of meditation, all thoughts still show up, but that doesn't mean they all get to dance.
And just like some people who were desperate to get into the club resorted to desperate measures, which is what the silly song DJ Girl was all about, depicting a conversation between a club bouncer and a very determined groupie carrying records, trying to get in, saying, “I'm with the DJ. I'm with the DJ, okay?” Some thoughts wear a disguise, use a fake ID, so to speak, anything to get in. The bouncer's job is to stick to the names on the guest list and given criteria for the night.
Do you see how useful having a guy like that in our heads would be to keep certain thoughts, cravings, and our egos from sneaking in? In my experience, meditation is not about stopping thoughts from showing up, which try as I might, I cannot control. But with a bouncer, we can decide who gets to hit the floor. If you are not a club kid, simply imagine airport security deciding
what's allowed on a plane and what is not, or in what quantity. We all have baggage, for example, but if someone shows up with more than what's allowed, they either pay extra, or they have to leave it behind.
Use whatever metaphor works for you, but get in touch with the bouncer in you, the security guard or ticket agent, so that only thoughts that are productive, not destructive, get to stay, while the others are outside trying to sneak-in behind other thoughts the way people outside apartment buildings try to enter when someone else gets buzzed inside. We need to be vigilant and never slack, because once you let certain thoughts in, it can be very difficult to get them out.
When I recently shared this metaphor while addressing a local congregation, the minister said he's from the generation where club managers would tap you on the shoulder while you're dancing so that you leave the dance floor. You didn't have to go home, but you couldn't stay in the spotlight. Again, apply this to thoughts, outdated opinions, beliefs, and perspectives, and it's a way to “clean house,” so to speak, and keep things running smoothly.
No thought is demonized, per se, but they don't all receive equal time on the dance floor So, in all seriousness, write up a guest list, so to speak, and stand guard. We have talked so much in the past about setting boundaries with other people and honoring those boundaries, but we need to set clear parameters for ourselves as well, otherwise, we risk expired beliefs, hostile opinions, destructive or vindictive visions, and disruptive distractions getting to live rent-free in our heads.
Keeping with today's metaphor, we can't allow sick thoughts to dance and mingle with our other thoughts, infecting them, without ever even paying a cover charge to get in, let alone being "pretty enough" to occupy space in our minds. I offer these playful visuals because they really work for me and I use them myself.
Some thoughts are always welcome, so they are permanently on the guest list, others have acted up so they've been kicked out, and a few are forever banned from coming back, especially if they tried to bribe the bouncer, used a fake ID, or gained entry under false pretenses before wreaking havoc. Instead of playing victims of our own thoughts as if we have no control over them, this role that you play in your life as the gate keeper or security guard, is one of the most
important jobs you will ever have. You need that bouncer. You need you. So, get to work. Your happiness depends on it. Timber Hawkeye is the bestselling author of Faithfully Religionless and Buddhist Boot Camp. For additional information, please visit BuddhistBootCamp.com, where you can order autographed books to support the Prison Library Project, watch Timber's inspiring TED Talk, and join our monthly mailing list.
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