Throwback Episode: Dreams Are Free

biggest years for the show ever. So many amazing memories from this year, and I cannot wait to revisit some of them with all of you. Guys.

So you were getting some new picks taken.

And I don't take makeup artists for granted, but she yeah, like you were saying, I mean, she knows exactly what medium you're using and how to make your face up for that medium. And yeah, six years ago, I did not have Alila. I did not have money for Alila.

you know, she knew we wanted to look natural. But it just honestly, they just look really great the pictures, every picture. And then Tanta, I mean you just she's an amazing photographer.

It's like, I'm like, where is the lawyout where are where is? I don't even know? Like who makes makeup anymore? It looks like for real? I was like no, but meaning like it looked like an ad. You look so beautiful.

she lifted me all the way up. I was like a pile of mud in her in her chair, and I just shout out to Stacy for real, because she she started my journey back to myself. And then by the time you get with Tiffany and Tanetta with her photography and then Leela with the makeup and all the good vibes. It really came from within and it was uh yeah, it was just the joy I think of. And also just being back together, you have that giddiness of like socializing again. It was it was good and

I'm really glad that we we captured ourselves. It's been a long time. We've been talking about doing this for months and months and months, and I'll be honest, I used to be like, yeah, we don't really need to do Pansioner because like I've put on some weight since we did the first one. But you know what, screw it. Like I think at a certain point you just have to accept yourself in the in the space that you are. And I think my mind was really in a good place,

which made it even more fun. So I can't wait to see for y'all to see the the picks and all the fun stuff we have coming up.

negative things come about. But I have been like, that's that's like kind of been the next wave. So y'all know, I have a Zion who's my executive business coach, but I also have doctor Green who's my who's my professional coach, and she's also a therapist.

say so myself. So but then the next kind of step is I've always known, not always known, but you know how you know you have like I knew I had a limiting mindset because sometimes I just can't see a thing, even though, like for example, when we had Emman and Christina on oh yeah yeah arbag, remember that level of joy that they just exuded, Yeah, I was like, I don't think I could get there, because how do

you get there? It's like sometimes it's like my mind used to really block that in order to be successful.

I had told myself because this is what the world tells you, that you have to work really hard, but then if you want to go to the next level success, my assumption is like, let's just say, like I told you all, last year, my company crossed over the ten million mark and I was like, and then someone was like, oh, what, You're gonna go to twenty million this year, and I honestly was like, I don't want to because in my mind, it was so much work to get to the ten.

The assumption for me was I have to do double the amount of work to get to the twenty and honestay, Mandy, I have purposely not been doing the work. And if I really look back at it, I remember even when the first time I got all a's in like third grade or something like that, and then my Dad was like, great, you could keep this up. And I remember thinking, like, I don't want to do the work required in order to do it, because I convinced myself that the more success,

the more work involved. And so I've been trying to undo that thinking, and it's been really hard, because the truth is, with the right foundation, I've been relearning that money is not hard to manage or make. It sounds like so crazy and like, of course it's hard to make, and I'm like, no, that's not true, Tiffany. If jay Z wanted to make a million dollars today, he can likely just pick up a call and do some sort of partnership and it would be worth a million dollars

or more. Money with the foundation is not hard to make. And even you might think like, oh, well, of course that's jay Z. No no, But even me, I remember one time like this was maybe like four or five years ago. We had partnered with this financial brand that I really liked, and they said, we're doing free investment plans, and they said for every person dream Catcher that gets a free investment plan will give you twenty five bucks.

And I was like okay. I went through and I did the investment plan myself because I'm like, I'm not sharing there with dream catchers unless I like it. And I liked it because I had just paid an investment advisor twelve hundred dollars and their plan that I did like online was so similar to his. I realized I wasted twelve hundred dollars, so that it made me say,

I'm going to share it. So Logan, who's my content writer, I was like, Okay, Logan, let's share this, and I said, share the story how I just paid for a plan and it's it is. I would say, ninety to ninety five percent what I got what I paid twelve hundred dollars for this free plan. And we sent out that email girl in three days, it generated about one hundred and fifty dollars one hundred and fifty thousand dollars fair, and that was just you know what I mean, that's

that was just one email. And since then, I mean, I've done partnerships with people. The last one that we did in a weekend, we generated seven hundred thousand dollars. And I'm sharing those big numbers because even though we've done those things, I still was convincing myself the bigger the success, the harder the work, and that's not true because if that is so, then I cannot possibly work any harder than I'm working. Now, does that mean I'm capped as how far? With how far I can take,

you know, whatever success I seek. So I've been trying to unlearn that like pattern, and because I had been afraid to dream big because to me, dreaming big at working big, and I don't want to work any harder. And so I've just been like on learning, like you know that that mindset. And I'll give you an example of something where I finally realized, like, Okay, I think i I'm getting it. Like a college reached out to me and said, hey, Tiffany, we love get it with money.

We bought it for our students, like our freshmen or whatever. Do you have any coursponding curriculum or course? And I instantly got stressed because I was like, oh great, So now after writing this book for a year and a half, now I got to write a course that's going to take me some more time, and I don't have time, and I'm so tired. I was already spiraling when doctor Green was like, okay, that is the example of that more success college bis a course more work for Tiffany.

But is that true? Tiffany? And I was like, She's like, is there any other instance in your life where there's a course that you did not have to write? That was like and I knew exactly what she's talking about. I was like, Hey, yes, So if y'all know, I have my Literature Challenges, these are free courses that I have available to everybody at literature challenge dot com. And the last three I hired a course writer named Taylor, who's amazing. Taylor has been with me for like eight

years and started as an intern. Then I taught her how to write, you know, Taylor, Yes, I taught her how to write courses. I taught her write for a London Tree exactly. So Taylor was amazing. And then I thought, Tiffany, you already wrote the book. Why not just say hey, Taylor, here's the book. Please turn it into a course. And I was like, oh yeah, So I messaged Taylor on Facebook.

I think Taylor lives like in Europe somewhere because she's married now to the baby, and I was like, hey, Taylor, because I know before she wasn't doing work and she had just had the baby. I was like, are you still doing work? And she said, yeah, I am. Now the baby's a little older. And I said, I'm thinking about turning the book into a course. And then I got what I like to call god nod, which is like when you're on the right track and you get a little nod, a little wink from the from God

or the universe, whatever you believe in. And she was like, I already ordered the book. I have it already. I was like, oh. I was like, can you take a look at it and see what you you know, create a proposal to turn into a course. So let's just say this college wants to buy the program for one hundred thousand dollars, and I do ten colleges. That's a million dollars right there. And because I already had the foundation, so I'm trying to learn that you can grow without

doing this extra heavy lift. And I just hope that that lands for someone that so many of us dream cheap and small, because we have thought that like, the more the bigger the dream, the more the work, And that's not necessarily true that your dreams honestly should be expansive, expensive and huge, because dreams are free to dream, So why are we picking up our dreams at the dollar store? Like, no, have a huge dream, because you'd be surprised. It likely

is not as much work as you think. And dreaming small means that you also live a smaller life. And I'm just done with that way of thinking. I want to think like big and expansive, like Iman and Christina, where you can have all the things. They don't have twenty million dollars in their bank account, and yet they are living it up and in Portugal with their amazing daughters and having this amazing life, like their dream didn't cost as much as you would think, and here they

are super happy. Me and Manny felt their palatable joy on our on our I don't remember what episode that was, but you guys should look it up. You can actually feel their joy, you know, over and over the airwaves. I just wanted to share that that, like that mindset shift, how critical that is.

you know, forget you. I'm gonna one day you're not going to be able to go to the gas station without hearing one of my songs. And let me, of course, look at her now, she's phenomenal. And I think in our lives you do have like the fit like sometimes it is like an actual person, a parent or a partner, or a spouse or a sibling or whoever, is like your negative Nancy and always bringing you down and making

you feel small. So you have to watch out for them, but you also have to wait to watch out for I think what Tif's talking about, which is your internal dialogue and how you are speaking to your own self about your dreams and what the stories that you're telling yourself about if you have the ability to achieve what you set out to achieve, and I couldn't agree more in the sense that you have a lot of control, even more control than you think over your own destiny,

but you have to look at the fear and understand why you feel that way, and also know that you're honestly the only person who can change the way that you're thinking about. Whether it's your career or your relationship or the money you have in the bank. There's so much that you can control, but there's also like physically that you can control. You know what job you have and how much you're saving, but it is your mindset

and what you think is possible. And I'll tell you something like I remember, I don't know how many years ago was this, It was like twenty for fifteen something like that. I was like, I was in a lull in my in my confidence and stuff. And I remember, I don't know if this fund remembers what we were on, like a nature walk or something like that. And I was like, you know what, I'm going to write a

book that just says the pow it's the power. It's caught and be called The Power of Mediocrity by Mandy Woodruff. And it's going to be a book all about how people are so unhappy because they keep trying to like achieve these crazy dreams and have the perfect partner and the perfect job. What if we just stopped trying? And I was like, really passionate, and this person looked at me and he was like, I don't know. That sounds like good book. People are definitely going to buy a

book like that. But I think it was just and I think about that all the time, and I'm like you I was. It was indicative of my mindset at the time. I would not write that book today because I think that was just myself trying to give myself an excuse to be to settle for or not settle, but to be okay with what I what I had versus what I thought I would deserve or what I thought I could achieve. I'm not going to say it was like a one and done conversation, but it's certainly

I'm much I'm much smarter about it now. In any time a new whether it's a career change, or it's a new opportunity with brown ambition, or you know, something that comes up in my personal life, if it's new and scary and unknown, I just try to keep a

very open mind. There's no harm that can come from entertaining an idea and letting that idea you know, being open to it and if you have that energy of being open to possibilities, I truly feel like and I don't want to get too granola, but you said the universe earlier. I think you attract stuff to you, you know, and you have any good energy and the good vibes, and it really does come from within. How do you get there, tiff Like, how do the people? How do

you get there? You, for example, business coach, your life coach therapist, life coach therapist have have helped. Yeah, I think for some like what would you say to people who were like I just can't get out of this funk? Like how do I so want to change?

I am virtually slapping you, like wake up. She's like, look to the left and look to the right of utivity. Who do you see nobody. I was like, ooh, don't say that. She's like, I'm sorry, No, you've created a lame for yourself. It doesn't mean that you know that other people are not doing amazing, but this is your lane that you've created for yourself. What you're doing is amazing. Step into that. And I was like, I guess and she's just like no. She said, you know what you

forgot how to dream. I want you to do this activity. And I said okay, and I want I think we should all do it collectively when I tell you it's so good. I was like okay. So she said, I want you to do this activity five to ten minutes. I want you to be someplace quiet, you know, beautiful.

Maybe it's your park, maybe it's your bed and wherever, and either on you could do it like on in a journal piece of paper, or if you're someone who's a little bit more verbal, you might want to do a voice note and for five to ten minutes, I want you to dream without hesitation or limitation, meaning like I want to have a house to side of Oprah. I want to have, you know, I want to have twenty million dollars in my bank account. Like, like, what

it reminded me of is this weekend. I had my niece and my nephew, Roman and Amelia, and I asked Amelia, I said, what do you want to do this weekend? And she said, I want to go to the farm. I want to go to the zoo. My friend Rihanna has like three cats in the dog. She said, I want to go to aunt Rihanna's house to pet the cats and to see the dog. And then she said something that seems so crazy. She said, I want to go to outer space. And I was like what She said, yes, Mars,

I'm like Mars. She said yes because it's red, because clearly she must have watched whatever on some show and she just decided, Oh, that looks cute. I want to be on this rent planet. And I was just like okay. And she said I want to take a bubble bath and I want to do I want to do a picnic. And I was just like, Amelia is well, she has three she's four, but really verbal. But I just remember thinking to myself, like that's the kind that's when you're

doing this exercise. Do it with like with a millia energy. You want to go to the park, pet the dog, you know, have a picnic, bubble bath, mars, everything without hesitation, without limitation. Just let your act as if your your your little self, your preschool or self that didn't have any limitation. Write it down, speak it if that's what works for best for you, because we have forgotten how to dream. Dame Dash has his videos that just came up Mandy that said sorry. It was like Dame Dash,

you know jay Z's ex manager. He was like, yo, y'all be out here dreaming cheap as a dream costs money. He said, Yo, dreams are free. You know that right, That ten million dollars dream costs you the same amount of money to have that one hundred thousand dollars dream. So like, why are you going cheap on your dream when it's absolutely free? And That's what I'm wanting. And so that's one of the ways to start that to open up that feeling inside you, you know that like,

let me dream big and huge. It's not about whether you're going to get it or out. You're just going to say the thing because if you can't dream the thing, you certainly cannot have the thing. It's very difficult to have a thing that you that you have not you know, at least thought about. So it starts really from there, and it's just such a powerful lesson and tool, right because it's just I promise you, if you dream small, you live small, because one of the things you will

start to realize. I was talking to a young woman today who asked me to be her mentor, and she was was she asking me? She was saying, you know, like, well, I don't know if I can have that. And I said, you know, has anybody else ever gotten that? And she said yes, And so I'm gonna Cause she was Nigeriana Nigeria as well, and actually her name was She's the only other Adoche I've ever met. My African name is

Adochi and her African name's Adoche as well. And she was like, I said, you already know, Like what what would a Nigerian tell you? She would be like, well, do they have two heads? My dad would say that, Like if I came home with a b and I was happy about it, he was like, you're happy about this bee? Did anybody get a I'm like Mandy got a, Oh Mendy got an a? Does Mendy have two hits? Because the implication there is unless Mandy has two brains,

why she out here gay age and you ain't? Meaning ads were being given sis go get you one, so meaning that like people are making millions, sis go.

about mediocrity. I think also there's a bit of there's a bit of a lesson there in that sometimes it's like you want to dream big, but you also have to dream dream from a place of like a positive mindset that you're happy with what you have, like you're you're it's almost like you're you're comfortable and you are content, but you're and you're not dreaming because you're not content with the core what really matters, like your core, you know,

your core self, like you know who you are. You have your family, you have friends, you have a good support system. You know what I'm saying, Like.

I think. So the key with dreaming it's not that you're looking at what Mandy has to say I want it because Mandy has it. What you're looking at what Mandy has, it's the evidence that it exists. You see what I mean, meaning that, wait, there are people that have accomplished this. That fills me with hope and joy. It's doable, it's doable.

as the possibility of living and joy like that. Not that I wanted like their life, not at all, but I wanted to like they they gave me hope, like this level of joy is possible in this crazy you know, just like topsy turvy world, we're overworking, you get a badge for doing the most. Here are people who are doing exactly what they wanted to do. They're not doing the least, they're not doing the most, They're doing the

just right and are happy with it. So yeah, so I want yes to mand it to your point, you're not using other people to make yourself feel bad. It's more so to give you the in the apps sense of hope. Looking to say that there is a version of that life out there. Here's proof. Wow, it's accessible to me as well.

eight years. I'm just now thinking of her, you know, like, wait, all these solutions have been here then, I'm just now because I'm shifting my mindset, I'm tapping into already existing solutions, like almost all that you're wanting is right there in front of you, but because of the state of your mindset, you can't see them. Not because they don't exist, not because you have to stretch extra far and wide. It's your mindset has blinded you to the solutions that are

right in front of you. And so I'm excited because I don't have to do much more, just tap into what's already there. And I'm like, oh my goodness, Tiffany, this has been here all this time, all this time.

to sing this? Okay? Fine, I'm not hearing now, it's I'm not gonna say it, but the lyric is I wonder, what if let's try that's the hook and the messages when you have a problem to solve, what do you say, you wonder, I wonder what if let's try and always it's a it's it's a frustrating problem. But a lot of people And I think this was in your book too, not that you know I read it, just you know most of it. So the piece of it is like people can get stuck in the in the mess, you know,

or the problem or the challenge. And I think the anecdote is about your mom being a paper towel person. Yes, like, yeah, there's a mess, but let's actually do something. And that message in Sesame Street song too is just it's such a simple message. And I'm sure if you had asked someone like an adult, what do you do when you have a problem, they'd be like, yeah, you'd figure out

how to fix it. But in the moment, I think I think the difference between people who are successful and then think big and achieve big things is that they don't let themselves get lost in that misery stew whenever you know, when there's a problem, where there's a challenge or it seems like the stakes are against you, I mean, you've got to be You've got to build that mental resilience, Yes,

you've got to. And when I say like, I have had some of the biggest knocks in my life the past couple of years, but I have bounced back like lightning.

And I look around and I'm like, that's because I have been building the infrastructure of mental, physical, and emotional well being and resilience, and through therapy, through focusing on my sleep, through through physical activity like getting back really into good physical shape, through having joy, like spending time getting really clear on what I value and spending time doing those things, being outside gardening, playing like I play like an eight year old child every day because of

my kid. Like I know, I was late to the podcast. I was walking in the woods, digging in the dirt with my son.

bigger and scarier. But I'm I know, I'm brave. I know I have a soft place to land because I've got like my you know, I've got my survival kit. And it's not money and it's not canned food. I mean those things are nice. Okay, fine, that's a lie. I do have my emergency fund, which is very very

very very nice and important. But I also have my husband, who gets on my nerves, but he's always there for me when I'm really down, and my my baby, and I have my you know, good relationships with my siblings and very quality friendships, and of course my partnerships like Tiffany, I mean, you're also a friend with you partner and

someone I can you know, lean on. And I know that you talk about financial wholeness in your book, but that's kind of the message too, you know, what's in your How are you becoming more resilient to challenges so that when you're facing with those challenges and maybe when you're in like a negative thought spiral and your mindset's not right, who is it that's around you to help you, you know, snap out of it and get back to

your your place of positivity. So you can really hit your you know, reach your full potential.

worse year after year. And finally at forty I was like, Okay, you're the last of the Mohicans and you have to go. And it was not easy, but it was so liberating. And when I tell you, instantly like I felt lighter. I remember, I was so afraid of like what's gonna happen? And am I gonna miss this person? And I can honestly say I don't, like, I don't not even a little bit. Maybe a key key here and there, but no,

you know, they took way more than they gave. It was it was, you know, and I but I added to that, you know, unfortunate relationship because I allowed it. And so I'm just so so what I have around me now that safe space slent every friend, I look like, it's just this beautiful soul. I look at my friend Rihanna, the one who designed my home. She's just the kindest person. Hurt her husband, Jermaine. They're like me and my husband's

first like couple friend. You know, we're like the guy actually likes a guy, and the girl likes a girl and the guy likes a girl. Like literally like all around, we're like we love each other. So the first full fledged couple friends. And they're amazing and kind and giving. Well, my husband you are, you know, it's awesome. Like Mandy got to see him in his super tall sel.

We didn't always have like the gravest relationships because you know, teenage years, woof, it was a lot, if I do say so myself, and I did say so myself, and even into my twenties it was a lots and plus they were so strict. So but now you know, as adults, as an adult, and I've come to really appreciate them and understand some of that strictness and understand why. But we have such a great relationship now and so myself saved my place to land. Definitely my relationships and just

how amazing they are. But what I really learned, and I had to remember this because I had this downpath that I lost them, Like when I first started the budgets them, I did a lot of reading and I was reading some random article about the mindset shift becoming

a millionaire to a billionaire. Don't ask me how I found this article, but I remember being really curious because they found that they had interviewed all these billionaires, and they interviewed all these millionaires, and they found that the way billionaires dealt with challenges was completely different. They welcomed them and were almost joyful by them, like joy filled literally by them. And I thought, huh, and I remember

actively practicing that. And here's why. Because the billionaire saw the challenge as a clear indication that they were moving from one place to the next. That it wasn't the challenge itself like dang, this really sucks. It was like, wait, am I growing? Yes, I'm finally leveling up to the next level, because this challenge is an indication of that. And I just remember that I used to actively practice that. Mandy, that like, the website is down, Yes, that means we

have so much traffic. We need to level up. You know, we need a new email list. Yes, that means we have so many people on the email list. This no longer works. So I used to it. In the beginning with the Budgetnista, I was really good at making that connection that, like, you know, a challenge happens, it's a good thing because it meant growth. And then somewhere along the way I forgot and I started to look at every challenge like I normally look at challenges as you know.

So that's what I would say that I am rediscovering that back again to look get challenges as a clear marker that you are shifting from where you said, where you said that you are to where you're wanting to be, and that this is just the challenge, is just this little rough patch that's the line of demarcation for growth. I was here and now I am here. This is super exciting and so like, yeah, those are the things that you know, kind of put a little pep in my step.

huge challenge for so many people. So whether you wanted to or not, you were challenged this year. And you know, celebrate that and get strength from that knowledge because even if you didn't quote unquote win the pandemic, you know, by losing the thirty pounds and getting whatever, you know, learning your languages or you know, knill learning how to knit or whatever activity you're supposed to you know, become

a cook or bake bread. You know, just making it through you have become more resilient and even just trying to see the Yeah, flip the mindset. Flip the mindset. It's a positive thing. It's not always easy. It's not always easy, but the people around you, they will help you get there when you are in that negative thought spiral. And I will tell you if there are negative people around you, they will thrive on that. They will thrive on it and they won't help lift you out of it.

So really look at yes people around you, also the you know, the thoughts in your own head and how they may be holding you back, and just know that it's an ongoing process. Right, It's not like you know when there's a when there is another you know, when I lose my confidence, which will probably happen at some point, and you know, down the road, I will be able to lean on my support team, you know, support system

to build me back up. So you have to you just just anticipate the life, rainy day that it's going to happen, you know, and really try to make yourself ready for that moment.

and run by brilliant minds. Brilliant women founded The Nineteenth and they report on everything at the intersection of politics, race, the economy. They go there and Tiffany and I are joining them for a live event on Thursday at one pm I believe Eastern time. Check out the link in our show notes and register to get your spot at this event. We're talking about how you can be financially resilient in the face of this pandemic, so definitely check us out in support. Let's show them that BAFAM is

always there to support. Okay, even though you'll hear from us every week, it'd be great to show the nineteenth that ourba fam shows up for us. So hit up the show notes and register and we'll see y all there.

podcast and I love all the content. Thank you. I wanted to submit a question and hope of getting your input. My fiance and I have paid off over sixty thousand dollars of debt and have forty thousand dollars left. That's about thirteen thousand, seven hundred dollars of student loans and thirty thousand dollars that we have for a truck loan. We want to buy a house in about a year, but we haven't started the saving process since we've been

so focused on paying off debt. Do y'all think we should continue to get our debt total down before saving or just go full on into saving mode? So u's first of all, a sixty thousand dollars of debt down doesn't mention having any savings at all, So we don't know if there's like if they're building on top of

a cash cushion. But we can make some assumptions, like let's assume they don't have anything saved and are wanting to start from scratch saving from a house, but they have two types of debt left, thirteen K student loans and thirty K for a truck loan with an undisclosed APR.

that truck. My assumption is because you don't have a credit card debt, which is great, so you I'm assuming you don't have crazy interest rates, and even if you if you did, saving to me is your first line of defense. It's like the lock on the door, you know, on the screen door at that so someone has to bust through the screen door, then get to the regular door, then get to the chain lock, you know what I mean.

And so I really I'm a big proponent of having some savings and not sacrifice savings just for for to get towards debt freedom that it can happen and should happen at the same time. Now, if you're saying that you're wanting to save for paying down a house to buy a house, now that's different because they're saving for like, you know, like emergencies and saving for goal. Because here's

my worry. Let's just say you're like, oh, okay, I'm gonna save as we pay down our loan, and then we also save for a house and you're able to get a you know, a decent loan for the house, so then you use your your savings to buy the house. So now you're back at no savings again. So that's a concern that you should be like for set the house to the side for a moment. And if you are going to save, I want you to concentrate that you're saving for emergencies while also paying down your debt.

Now anything, you know, anything above and beyond that. You can also save two for buying a house. But you shouldn't be looking at the savings that you're setting aside just for the house. You should also have an emergency fund stashed away, especially if you get a house. I mean, Maddy, and I will tell you in a minute, how things just be going hay? Why are like, wait, what do you mean the plumbing? Wait, what do you mean?

of defense. This is a lock on the screen door that someone has to get through before the next door can be can be breached and the next thing can be breached. Like not enough people have enough money set aside for that. And if twenty twenties panting commercial pandemonium taught us nothing is the value of having like that first line of defense lined up, No matter how little that is, it can give you a little bit of room.

You're not saving any money on interest because there is none, and you don't have to, like there's no there's no there's actually a cons to paying them. And the con is that you know, you could potentially be earning more by putting your money elsewhere. Even if it's in a really you know, a regular savings account that has very little interest, it's still more than zero. And also it's

giving you that added protection. So if you're going to be putting money toward loans that you don't have to, that you're not paying interest on, and not putting it towards savings, that could potentially save you if you, you know, have a financial challenge that pops up, it's just smarter to put it away in savings. It's going to protect you. So you could do that, just divert what you would

have been paying towards your student loans to savings. And I would also point out, you know, if you're thinking about taking out a mortgage for your future home and you're talking about saving just for the down payment, they're not going to want to see that this down payment's

going to bankrupt you. And they're also going to give you a better rate if you have lower debt to income ratio, which is you know how much your monthly debt payments are versus your monthly expenses, so it behooves you, sat word, it behooves you to try to pay you know, down some debt and also lee have some cash left behind, liquid cash so that lenders are willing to, you know, let you borrow money at all, or even at a more affordable rate than others. Something to consider. But it's

definitely a table to buy a house. And it sounds like you guys are really good at budgeting. I would just say less money throwing it away at debt and more towards that savings fund. Okay, how about this one. We've been getting more and more questions about financial advisors, but this listener says, do you have any recommendations for

financial advisors? I started with DR. If you don't know who that is, then well whatever, you don't need to know forget about it for financial education, but realized it helps, but I'm looking for something better. I'm currently working with a quote smart vestor pro quote, which is basically an advisor that follows DR's principles. Any advice or info smart vestor pro.

where I found Helen. But I actually interviewed I think three my husband and I interviewed three different people and we settled on Helen after doing those interviews. But yep, thanks YE Planning.

of Personal Financial Advisors. And there's also the fee only network. But that's not why I want you to go there, because you could just go to those websites. I want you to go there to click that button because I created this work she called my soul called financial life Template, and I use the template to create like, so how I find my financial advisor, Angelie is I created kind of like this template of like myself and my husband,

like what our financial life looked like. Because I found myself when I was interviewing people forgetting like, oh I forgot to tell them this, and I forgot to tell them that. But then once I created this kind of template for myself, I was able to email it to them before we had our talk, so I would not forget to say like, oh, by the way, these are

our goals, this is how much we have saved. It's just it was just like such a great like resource, So yes, go ahead, And meanwhile, I'm clicking it now and I'm like, is it not going Let me just tell me?

And then other like twenty people I sent it to, like I think like maybe like twelve we're like, oh yes, And then I ended up whittling it down to Anguli. But she had so much of the information that she normally would ask was in that dock and it just was so helpful. So I suggest that that yes, my my so called financial life it is. It was such a like, like I said, that doc really just was everything.

accepting it on behalf of Black Lives Matter. And when I tell you the I don't know that I know anybody that is more passionate about black lives you know, than Patrice and how she is dedicated literally her life and puts her life on the line, like the number of like death threats and the number of just like it's crazy how they come for that woman. And so people were mad because they're like, what, you have a

house in California? Meanwhile, that's worth I don't remember what it was, like, you know, five hundred thousand dollars or one point two million dollars. I don't think people understand if you don't live on the coast. My little rinkidink house in Newark, New Jersey is worth about four point fifty. It's not something special. I mean it's a nice que house, but meaning that on the coast, what's one point two

million dollars in California looks like a regular house. Like I saw that house, I was like, this is what y'all mad at. It's because of where, because of coastal living, it's way more expensive. Like do you understand, like there are people in New York who's literal you know, one bedroom, two bedroom apartment might be six thousand dollars and it doesn't look like it looks like a college dorm room. Like, so what is relatively expensive to like you know in

the Midwest is not expensive. I mean it is expensive, but that's you're just not gonna get anything less than that, especially in California. I mean New York, New Jersey's already bad, but California is literally insane. And Patrese is an author her book. I remember when when we were because I han't met her at essence best at first, and I remember she had just written a book, When They Call You a Terrorist, a New York Times bestseller. It sold tons of copies. I can tell you someone who got

a book deal. I promise you her book deal was bigger than mine, and mine was just under seven figures me with my first book. Like and so Patrise, who was huge. I mean she's still huge, but at that time, so I can only imagine what her book deal was. So let's get that clear too. Like Patrise is an artist, she has she's had all of these other ways to

bring an income for herself. We cannot ask the people who serve us to also be a martyr for brokeness, like you already you already know I'm not with it, Like I'm here to be the Budjanista to serve my community. Assist wants to be wealthy as well, because like I don't, I just like I'm done with that. Like when I first started my business. I thought that, I'm like, well, I don't want to charge, and I don't want this because I ought not to have, because if I'm going

to be of service, that's garbage. The more that I have, I pour from my overflow, the more resources that I have, the better I show up for y'all. Because I'm not broke. Is why I'm able to do so much for free, because I'm not worried about money, and so I just wanted that to be It's almost like a boosty breaky, a boost for patrees, but a break for y'all. Tried it, not y'all, but y'all that like asking our leaders to suffer in brokeness. And then you know, some of these

very outlets putting her address online. I mean, she already was receiving death threats, putting her life and her family at risk. I just when she has already put her life on the line in response to Black Lives Matter one Like, so, if you like, there's this great His name is Matt mcgry m at t mc g r y on Instagram, and I love it because he posted

this letter a statement on false and dangerous stories. Right, so he he said the following statement is issued by Black Lives Matter Global the Foundation in response to the false and defamatory the savatory the ffamatory article being amplified by right wing media. Patrise Colors is the executive director of Black Lives Matter Global Network Foundation. She serves in this role in a volunteer capacity. This is from Global Black Lives Matter does not receive a salary or benefits.

Patrese has received a total of one hundred and twenty thousand dollars since the organization's inception in twenty thirteen is now twenty twenty one. He wrote this April twelve, twenty twenty one. How many years is that, Mandy?

of personal property by any employer volunteer. I mean, I just and he goes on to say Patrese's work for black people over the years has made her and others who are aligned with the Fight for Black Liberation targets for racist violence. So it's just really really because I can see in her face because Patrese, honestly, if you despite all the bs, she is funny and joyful and lighthearted,

I mean she is silly. And to see her like fighting for her life on insult, like I've messaged her several times and just make sure she's okay, But to see I can see the fear in her face, and I see a little bit of the light dim because it's she's expecting it from the right wing, but from her own people coming for her. It's unconscionable. And I just can't imagine putting my life on the line for the very folks who are now putting my life in

danger because of lies. And so I just wanted to give her an extra If you want to read it for yourself, I encourage you to do some Matt m at t mc g O R R Y on his Insta. It was posted on like I think, like I don't know, like in April some time, but you can go and read that letter. I think it's important for everybody to see it, to read it. And yeah, she is just an incredible woman who despite all of this still stands in service to black people.

looking for something. They don't want to see you succeed. And it is really sad proof that there is still a lot of audience out there who wants to proliferate this image of black women, black people, you know, suffering but not thriving, and especially for someone who's given so much, I was I don't even know Patrice, but I was offended on her behalf and so I'm glad you. I'm really glad you brought this up. And as a former journalist, I will tell you it was the It was the wackiest,

thinnest piece of internet crap, like garbage. And as a as a as anyone who even has a modicum of journalism education, would never have published that story. And I'm really sad for black journalists because you know, as any black professional, when you're out there in the world, you're you have such a razor thin margin margin for error.

So when one of us, as a black journalist, is a black journalist out there posting filth like that and nonsense with terrible sourcing or lack of sourcing and no story at all, like even a tiny bit of fact checking could have found there was no truth to this. When you publish that, you you know you're making it harder for other black journalists to be taken seriously. And

so that is what I'm offended by. She made me want to like do a talk at the next National Association and Black Journalist conference, like we got to do

better out here. And yeah, it was pure, pure garbage, and I hope that a lot of people out there are are smart enough to look at where stories like that come from on the internet and question it and and be critical and think critically about stories that we hear about our leadership, because they they when you succeed as a black woman, that's when they're most fearful of you, and that is when they start putting out live to

bring you down. And even though I don't know her, I feel like that could be me, that could be I'm sure it has been Tiffany. People don't want to see Tiffany do well, you know, they want they like, especially when it's your peers. I'm sure there's there's people who who we're talking about earlier, would rather see you struggle to make themselves feel better. And anyway, I my heart goes out to Patrice. I hope she's okay. She has done such good work, And go and get your

house's girl, get all the houses. You have every right to get your houses. How many billionaires, like do you want to talk about? How many billionaires give away money to to nonprofits and and and all their philanthropic good deeds and then turn around and you know, drive gas guzzling cars and and have the audacity to go shopping for expensive things and have watches and jets and stuff like get out of here. Like it's just complete and utter nonsense. And she did not deserve it for a minute.

And I hope that she I hope that the light has not dimmed for too long because she has done so much good work and she needs all the support that she deserves. Right now, what was my booth going to be? Oh, I know, hold on, my computer just died. I went away, well really quick, because that was I joined in on that one. But I wanted to shout out things. I wanted to shout out this young woman. And I wanted to shout this out Tiffany, because I can't stop thinking about your nephew Roman and how he

just has this big kid genius energy. Big I mean, he was just fascinating to watch. I could have just I didn't want to be weird, but I was just like really wanting to observe him. He's a mathematical genius. And I saw this story about a young girl who's

twelve and how she's attending college this year. Her name's Elena Wicker and she's soon to be college student, and she wants to be the youngest black woman to ever work for NASA, And she was recently featured in People magazine, and I just wanted to share this little this little

bit of black excellence. And her mother, Diane McCord, said, one of the signs that her child gifted was she would always organize legos by color and by size and very strategic, and if you took one of her legos out of the set, she knew one of them was missing, yes, but that she's still goofy and she's always you know, she's had a sense of humor, but would like build these crazy you know, like the Millennium Falcon out of

legos and like all these things. So shout out to Elena and black girl excellence, and also shout out to Roman because I feel like he might be like a People dot Com Black Excellent story one day.

don't know octagons from hexagons. Sis no, and like even now, like you know Roman is telling time. Didn't I didn't know I have to tell time until I was like in fifth or sixth grade. He's five. Yeah, he's telling time. He's doing multiplication and addition reading like all these like signs, like we walk down the street. I was like, I'm thinking,

like he's gonna read the first two lines. It was like no, it said something like it was like a parking side, no parking police track this boy, no parking police towing. I'm like, cause he never heard of towing. But he's like I can sound it out at five. Oh yeah. So I always tell her I didn't no regular baby, because she was worried. Because for you, parents, if you are not up on number blocks and alpha blocks on Netflix, cis you late? It is as a teacher, I'm telling you want.

then words and then sentences. So each episode gets more and more complex, but they do it in such a way that you feel like you're watching like you know, like Power Rangers because the actual numbers and the letters. So there's two separate shows, number Blocks, and then there's an Alpha Blocks that they take on the persona of like different like I said, superheroes, but it's so well done. And the repetitiveness, I mean, I like, I'm I'm picking

up everything they're putting down. I'm like, ooh, like a million when she was three, just like a few months ago. Do you know how hard a concept it is for a kid to understand zero? Like, think about that many Like, how do you explain zero to a two year old or a three year old?

screen time, girl, pandemic. It was like, where are your number blocks?

just he screams at it. Equipment now when he sees it on the side of.

He's like due. She's like yeah, exactly, no, but I'm just I'm just honestly, it was nice to have like you like here in my space. I'm like, oh, I just get right in. It was just like nice just to like hang out. I'm like, oh, on the couch, just talking like adults and having.

Brown Ambition conversations from the past year. Check back in with us soon as we take on a brand new year and bring you everything you need to know so you can take control of your financial and professional future on your own terms.