Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're back. We're back, and I'm back from vacation slash many not really honeymoon because I went on it with two couples. Have you ever been in a couples trip, manny.
A couple's trip? Have I? Technically every summer we go on a camping trip with our friends and we've now become a couple's trip because everyone's booed up and married and stuff. Ok So yeah, yeah, yeah, I have. Okay, not to Jamaica though.
Yeah, I mean it was honestly, it was gonna be like just a girl's trip. Me and my bestie. We typically go away at least once a year with each other. And then we were like, oh, you know, we should bring the guys because we felt it was close to father well Father's Day path not too long, I guess, And I was just like okay, And then you know, I ended up randomly getting married, so I was like, well, this can be like like a test run for a honeymoon.
And then another friend of mine when we've had on the show, Lovey, said oh, I'll come too, and so it just became like six of us. Honestly, it was. It was actually really good. I was nervous because I knew the girls because we all knew each other, so I knew we'd all get along. But it's like bringing your like you know, I don't I hate to call many kids, but you know, you're like, oh my god, are our kids gonna play well together? And they did. One of them was like this was like they were like,
this is like adult summer camp. The guys hang with the guys, the girls hang with the girls, and then we hang out together. So that happened all throughout, like you know, like, yeah, it was honestly.
We had exactly how our trips end up to the girls go do their thing and the guys go find something.
To break right or like in Jamaica, you know, it was a little different.
It was they really don't grow up they at all.
I was like wow, and it was just it was just I realized, I don't I've never seen Superman like interact with like I mean, I'm used to seeing him with like his friends, but it was interesting to see him with like kind of friends. You know, yeah, you know, because with his friends, you know, he's I guess he's kind of like the quiet one. But I was like he's really like the connector. He's like pretty social because I'm really like, you know, I'm the talkative one, so
typically he's like, you know, okay, Tiffany got it. And he has a twin brother who is also very like outgoing and social, so he's I see now that he's kind of like the deflector, like, so if you're social, you got it. But the other two guys that were on the trip, they weren't super talkative. So all of a sudden, I'm like, is that him over there facility facilitating all the fun? It was so weird to like see them across the beach and he's like the animated one.
I'm like, since when? So that part was really like interesting thing to see. I'm like, you're a storyteller's story, so that was actually like a lot of fun. And I don't know what they put in the Jamaican rum I don't drink, so me and the other girl love you here with that she does we don't drink so but surprisingly no one was even though you know, they were Jamaican running it up. I guess they put like next to no alcohol, but everybody was like super good.
Oh, you know, those all inclusive resorts. They watered that stuff down. Yeah, I was not impressed with the Dominican resort Pina Coladas.
I must say, you're like another one. Actually put three in one of these.
Yeah, I mean, I'm not trying to feel sloppy, but I want to feel a little nice on my vacation. Also, did were you guys at an all inclusive resort?
For sure, girl Bob. It was like everything, and I liked it because there was like a little like beach kind of like restaurant where you can get stuff grilled and then they're also the resort itself had two like restaurants, and then of course it had like kind of like the open like buffet cafeteria type thing. So it was. It was small, which I liked. It wasn't one of these mega resorts where it's like three or four hundred units. It was only like eighty. And they were like these
treetop villas, so you didn't we didn't have hotels. Everybody had their own individual like tiki like villa. It was really cute. Honestly, I liked it a lot.
They're nice.
And I didn't know this, but like I guess, certain islands you can like pay for vip conci your service where they'll like walk you through customs and everything. And so, I mean, I just bought my thing. It's not like we were being fancy. I got it on Expedia. It was it was a you know, a great deal and it came with it. And I was like, why, I don't think I could ever go back to a normal airport. I mean, we walked through every line and you know, customs lines are so long, especially if you're not a
citizen of that country. I mean we walked to the front of every line and then we waited like in a they called it Mobei Cafe, which is cute, and so we waited for like our transportation to take us to the hotel, this cute little cafe where it's more rum punch and food and it was really really nice. And then we got upgraded to first class first row. On the way back home, I said, it can't get any better than this.
Well, you know that because you've oh, go ahead.
No, no, it is because well, I mean I figured it because I was like, how did we get upgraded? So I asked, and she's like, oh, you booked it.
She's like, who's Tiffany because I'm a freaking flyer, and so she was like, you know, like they just happened to have the empty seats, and you know, She's like, we always looked to see obviously to like kind of reward our frequent flyers because I frequently fly with United, no judgment United tubs in Newark where I lived, and so they were like, you know, we upgraded you, and then you know, we saw you had a party with you and I was like, look it. God, so we
were the first four seats in the front. Ya. You couldn't tell us nothing. I didn't even know. People got like it was only like a three hour flight. I'm like, you get a whole meal. I was like, I'll take the salmon and the chicken. You know. Superman was like, oh my god, babe, like cause we had like you know, VIP service here, you know, upgrades there. He was like, Babe, honestly, your life is nothing but amazing since I married you. I'm like, it's been a.
Month, but don't discourage that, don't they I.
Know, right, I'll thank you. He was like, oh, this vacation was awesome. Everything was just so awesome. And I'm like, oh, so yeah, married life has been really good.
I think I prefer I don't not prefer it's different. I love traveling with friends. I just feel like you're less likely to get bored. And I mean, I don't know, I feel like other couples can maybe relate to this, But there's this like pressure to go on trips together and like really just like have the most amazing time and to be obsessed with each other. I'd be more
every moment of every day. But yeah, it's kind of like regular life, like you need breaks, yeah, and one of you wants to do one thing, the other one doesn't want to do that thing. And like when you have friends, you can just like break off into groups and then you have like your separate activities and you come back at the end of the day. I like the variety.
Yeah, I honestly I did. I thought because you know, you think yourself. Oh, I mean, it's nice to be booed up, because it was you know, we had definitely we all had our boot time, but it was also like you said, switch it up, like, oh, you know, I'm hanging with the girls, and then we hang out the group and then me and Superman by ourselves.
You know, like I love to go to resorts too, but my husband hates the water. He's like he and his brother are like the two Dominicans who do not like the ocean. It is the meanest trick in history. Really, Yeah, they just hate they don't like the water. And I love the water, and so does my brother in law, sister, his sister, my brother in law's girlfriend. And I'm like, great, so we can go do beach vacations. You and I'll
be budied up. We can go do the water sports and excursions and they can just go do their thing and everyone's happy and there's no like arguing and like, you know, you don't want to come to the swim with the toothless sharks with me, like you know in our last vacation, which is a real fight you have when you travel.
Yes, I mean I was, because at first it was like, you know, everybody was like I don't want to do any excursion. I don't want to do anything. And then after two days we were like, we should do an excursion because we're bored. So we did a fun one. It was at and then it was like some like natural springs at the end which were freezing but fun. So that was a nice little break and then it was beach again. But you know because after a while, I mean, I'm not like every single day go to
the beach from sun up to sundown. Although I enjoyed the beach, I'm like, so is there any other activity? So your ATVing was definitely like a lot of fun.
I love act I'm too afraid of the sun. I get made fun of. I have an obsession with SPF. It's not because I'm worried about having darker skin. That is not kind. I just say that it is not the reason. I'm not one of those people, but I'm really worried about skin damage and I'm trying to be on my j LO game when I'm fifty. And I thought, she jala when I read this, or I can't even tell you what when I read this, but she was like,
my secret is spray tanning. Not that I spray tann but spray tanning and no sun and she's super golden all the time. And I was like, I must learn her ways and I must not have terrible skin. But also, Loki, my mother has had several melanoma removed from from my body, and so be on that you know what I found out. You can purchase sunscreen with your FSA account. This is major, really, yes, yes, when I discovered that, I was like, I need a bigger bag.
So tell people what's FSA?
People like this is my favorite? My absolutely, I think I did a brown boost for this before, which is it's my favorite thing in the planet. If you have
a healthcare plan where you can get a flex savings account. Basically, a flexible savings account is something that accompanies your health plan and you put in money that you earn before taxes are taken out into a little fund, and then they give you a debit card and you can use your FSA card anytime you pick up prescriptions, you pay for your copays, you pick up approved over the counter medicines, and even stuff like I mentioned sunscreen Contact solution is included.
Your prescription glasses are included. So I always get my glasses from Warby Parker, which is which is online, right, so it's not like, uh, it's not like I go to a doctor and I can swipe my FSA card and I for some reason when I tried using my sometimes FSA cards can be annoying. They don't always work.
On when you try and shop with them online, I think because what they're not really getting the right code or whatever is if they would if you were just shopping at a Dwayne Read or write Aid or something. So but it's also easy. I just keep my receipt and then I submit a claim and I always get refunded and it's no big deal. So that is, as I say, alert for the day.
It smarty, hoty, that's good. I never thought about it that. I'm like, I feel so special now because you know, now that I'm married, I'm like, oh, I g it is shirt. I was like, let me see. I feel all keep my insurance card. It's because it's that good insurance too. I'm like, oh I take that. Oh you can run that test. No worries here, Yeah no. But you know what I learned today, Like, well not today, but I had to go for like blood work or whatever, like before my insurance car came in and I wasn't
even sure if I was fully insured yet. And the woman who was taking my blood work she was telling me because she was like, I asked her how much is the how much is the lab test? And she's like, oh, I don't know. You know, they'll send you a bill. I was like, oh. She was like, why are you not insured? I was like, honestly, I don't even know just yet. You know, I applied, but you know, I don't know if it's kicked in yet. And she was like, well, if you tell them you don't have insurance, they can
lower your bill up to seventy percent. I was like, wait what so I don't know if that's like lab tests across the board, but for sure. She was just like, you know, let them know and then negotiate down seventy percent then, you know, and she's she said, they're not going to share that with you, but you can you can say that, and I was just like okay. She actually gave me a paper where I guess they you know, like they coached their clients and how to do so,
and I thought, wow, this is great. So I'm gonna you know, I'm pretty sure but by the time I get the bill, I'll have my insurance card, so I'll be able to, like, you know, just be like, hey, you know, I do have insurance. But I just thought that was such a great tip to pass along about negotiating down because I've definitely negotiated down other hospital bills before when I really did not have insurance altogether significantly,
I think over fifty percent. I owed at one point maybe had fifteen hundred dollars because I tried to die my own hair and not knowing I was allergic to a black hair dye and so my face swelled up like a balloon. And I went to the emergency room, and you know, after them giving me a bend a drill basically, and that was it, a ben a drill and sit down. It was twelve it was twelve hundred dollars. I nearly wept, like well, she wrote me a prescription. I just knew it was like some special elixir from
the gods. And when I went to the pharmacy and I was like, I have a prescription for my for my death, to my my near death experience, and she was like, oh, go to AL seven. I'm like, no, no, I have was prescription. She's like, yeah, it's ben droll, Go to All seven. I said, ben drill. Maybe I was levid. I'm like that lady could have told me. She could have just said go home against some bended dr I didn't know that's what they gave me the
hospital and that's the Oh my god. And so when I got my twelve hundred dollars bill, I think I talked them down to like six or seven hundred. Yeah, around six hundred. So I was able to talk them down.
Yeah, even if you have insurance, Like it's what you're saying that your insurance wouldn't cover the lab test. So even though you have it and you have to pay out of pocket.
Well, I have the thing is I So when we got married. As soon as we got married, he went to his HR. I was like, hey, I have a wife. I want to put her on my insurance. And so that was the twenty third of June, and so I got my insurance card in mail, but it was like I realized it was my dental insurance card. But still his insurance is altogether. So there was just a lot of confusion today when I was calling, like am I insured? I have to go to the doctor today to go
you know, I have to get my lab tests. And so they were just like, h we don't see you in the system. So basically I know by the time I get because they backdated it to when you first first submitted your paperwork. So I'm pretty sure by the time I get my bill, I should be fine. But the fact that she just gave me that little tidbit of like, hey, you can talk them down seventy percent if it turns out your insurance hasn't kicked in yet.
So I just I did in my back pocket of oh, something to share with the BA listeners.
Yeah, I think labs, like anything that's really that's like a standard thing, like a lab result, like an MRI, a PAP smear, a mammogram. They always say that X rays. Those are the kinds of procedures that you can really negotiate, not just negotiate like after it's been done, but shop around.
People don't really do this, but you can shop around in your area and and call places or there's there's this one website that I met a woman named Jennifer I believe was her name, and she started a website called clearhealthcost dot com and I'm gonna make I'm gonna
check out the name of that. But she actually was a she was a journalist covering healthcare, and then she did a fellowship I think that the New York Times, and part of her fellowship was creating this website because she wanted to bring more clarity for people looking to shop around for their healthcare because a lot of people don't realize that if they just go to a different zip code or just go two blocks down the road,
they could save. And like the range of prices are like insane, like this place will charge you know, one hundred bucks from MRI. That place will charge two thousand dollars from MRI. It's all over the map and there's no rhyme or reason to it, Like that's what's frustrating about it. But you absolutely can and should shop around if you know you have time. Obviously, if it's non emergent and you don't have you have time to shop around,
you should have that. Actually, I'm excited because my excited is like exaggerated word, but you know, I'm looking forward to trying out my new healthcare because it comes with
it comes with a service called Compass. Okay, and Compass is like it's a company where whenever I need to go to the doctor, I call them and they help me find the most affordable place to go, Like they do the work for me and my My main healthcare is United Healthcare, but it's part of this new effort I think among healthcare companies to make people consumers care more about where they get their health care because I don't know about you, but for most of my life,
I've had employer provided or parent parental provided health care, and all I think about is, I'm you know, it's going to be a thirty five dollars copay, that's going to be ten dollars and I don't really care. I just go wherever is open, but not really not really thinking that the actual healthcare provider is charging the insurance
company a bajillion dollars for whatever I've gotten. So by encouraging people to shop around to get the most affordable care, insurance companies are saving money and we're saving money too.
Yeah, insurance is like, this is so crazy. You could tell how old you are by your conversations. Now I'm like, yes, excited about get insurance.
Let's talk about abduct the bulls. Oh so I need to do one last health tip. Sorry, okay, because I was I was going to do this as a boost, but anyway, we're talking about it. So now someone had told me that, you know how if you go the doctor, you get like a bill in the mail. And sometimes it says this is not a bill, But then sometimes it's just a bill, and you're like, what is this?
My insurance could have kicked in. I've been in that position before, where I've gone and for like a routine checkup, and I come home and I even sometimes when after I paid my copay and I'll get an additional bill and I'll just pay without thinking about it, like I'll just call them and pay it off. Someone told me that sometimes billing offices just send a bill to the patient and the insurance company and just wait to see who pays them first.
Ooh.
I was like, say, what is this illegal? Like what? So that just raised a little red flag in my head because I think even if those bills say, you know, this is not a bill, explanation of benefits or whatever, it still feels like a bill. And I wonder how many people are just paying it because they think they owe it.
You may surprise only these places make a lot of mistakes.
I don't offer social stakes.
When Superman had his aneurism surgery, they send him, I want to say, like eighteen thousand dollars and he was like, why did I get an eighteen thousand dollars check, if not more than that, it was something ridiculous like and
so he called the insurance company. He called the hospital and she said, oh, it's likely obviously for us, for your like, well, his total surgery was nearly one hundred thousand, and I don't know if that was like their last payment the insurance company, but they send it to him, and you know, and I was like, you know, you know, he was like what do I do. I'm like, that's a lot of money. Someone's gotta come for you. But it turns out and I kind of feel blad because
I was like, you have to return it. That man saved your life, but it turns out the vast majority of your patients don't and they don't go after them because when he when he you know, when he uh because the check was in his name, so he had to deposit in his account and then write a check to them. And she was like wow, you know, like she was like, most people don't give us the money
and that's just it's just a loss. And I was like, what why she told that earlier out of my house, But I mean, it's all good karma, but I couldn't believe, can you imagine She's liked, some people get sixty dollars fifty thousand and they just keep it and we won't even know. She's like, you just happen to call. We won't even know that insurance company send them a check. I'm like, what shenanigans can.
Imagine people who can do that and live, like sleep at night. I know that's just a loud conscience.
That's what I told him. I was like, honestly, like literally just meant like the It wasn't about when you're if you're annyuryism was going to burst. It was about when and within andurism, you have about a fifteen percent chance of making it, and then even after that, you have a fifteen percent chance of having no damage, no brain damage, and the fact that you are alive and kicking. And because he was so young, a doctor was like,
if you were eighty, we'd leave it. But you're thirty four, it's going to burst and it's likely going to kill you.
Helle, if you're eighty, it's like, whatever you lived your life, you had a shot. We're a line. When does it become your worth saving.
Versus yeahn't be able to save, Like if we're going to open up your head. At eighty you were likely you're not going to be able to wake you back up. But like at thirty something, they were like, all right, so dude, we want to save you. So I was like, you know, the fact is you're living, so we're not.
Broke, so you're able bodied exactly.
So I'm glad he even turned the money. But still it just made me think, like, how many people got these huge checks and kept it.
I lied about having only one last thing to say, though, because I meant to say this last time when you brought up healthcare and getting on Superman's health care plan. But I'm the cautionary tale because we just twiddled our little thumbs. After we got married. I was supposed to go on to his health care plan because it had better benefits than what I was getting, and we just like went on the honeymoon and came back and all this work stuff started happening, and three months later we
were like, oh, yeah, let's do that. There's a thirty day period when you in which you can add your spouse to your insurance policy, and if you miss it sucks for you. Wait like forever, not forever, just until the next enrollment period. So they let you. They give you a free pass if you have like a qualifying life event like you have a kid, or you get married or whatever. But they don't. They only give you
a certain window of time to actually make it happen. Okayamp, I mean luckily I was in a position where I have back up the chan. Yeah, I get my own insurance anyway, So.
Girl, the next day we were like, I do Hello.
Maybe that's why I was so relaxed about it, you know, I'm like, I'm good, Hello, Hello.
Like literally, he's like, I only have the temporary license, but can I fox that over? So I'm gonna, oh, you gotta keep your last name?
Oh god, did my mother send you?
No, I'm just our LORI are you there? I've been really like, honestly, like, it's so weird how Superman does not care at all. I'm like, I'm still Tiffany Leech and I'm.
I'm Tiffany Smith. That's weird. Yeah, a racial profile.
Yeah, And honestly, I don't want to go Tiffany Smith if I might do a Lee Chase Smith. But honestly, it's so weird how laid back he is. He's like, yeah, I don't you know whatever.
Say doesn't really care.
Yeah, so I'm thinking of Chase Smith. I don't know.
That definitely sounds good.
Yeah, that's what I was saying. I kind of like because they're both kind of shortish names, and then I kind of feel like, if you have a kid, I kind of don't want to be like the only one left out, Like, oh, well, you know.
Elicha Smith sounds like you're a scholar or something.
Why Alie Chase Smith? So I might do that, but I don't even know what all that entails. I'm like, oh, what does that entail?
Probably a big pain in your neck.
Probably. That's one of the reasons why I've been like, e, I'll.
Get to it when I get you have health insurance. You can get that checked.
Out exactly like you're always making in front of my husband, because that's how he says it exactly.
Oh is that who inspired that?
Yes? He's very, very very Nigerian and so he says that. So sidebar, are you gonna go see girl? Have you seen you haven't seen girl? Trip?
I tried the damn Jersey ins would not let me go. You know, we have this, we have a theater really close to us. But it has that reserve seating thing where you have you buy your tickets. That just means it's easier for everyone to snap up all the seats right away.
And is it the eating one, like the one where you can eat there that one.
No, it's not like the one where they serve you. It's just like a it is like the nice recliners though. Okay, but it's just a normal theater. But it's so annoying because it's always we have to usually wait two three weeks before a new movie comes out if it's like really popular to go see it. So it was not able to see it, but I saw it did It was a number two movie in the country. Brown Girls, Yes,
and and it beat you know they had that. People were calling at the chocolate and Vanilla you know, like they there was like a Vanilla girls trip. It was with it came out a couple of weeks ago, had Scarlett Johansson and like yeah, Kate McKinnon and night, rough Night, the rough naight, Yeah, rough night, And they were saying like, and I feel like people were like waiting to see which one would do better. I'm pretty sure that one bombed.
Oh no, no, yeah, it did. It did not well at all. In comparison, this one has done tremendously well.
As soon as I saw Queen Latifa, I was like, yep, going I do, I will see anything. Queen Latifa was in even all the barbershops, even though they were the.
Kind of like a new girl in there. Her name is Tiffany hersh or Tiffany went the h But I've been like reading like interviews from her, and she did Jimmy Kimmel. They're They're like, she's the still one. Yes, They're like she she yes, I'm already. I'm here for
her already. And because she told this really funny story about her Jada Pikett Smith and Will Smith and how they went she because I guess they were taking New Orleans obviously because they the Girl's Trip takes place at Essence Fest, and like she was saying how Jada was asking what are you doing tomorrow? She's like, Oh, I'm going on a on a swamp tour, you know, I got a group on. And Jada's like, oh, what I
want to go? And she was like wait, she was still starstruck, like you want to go on a group on? Why is she said me and Will. So she said, they get there, all these people are there and they're like, what the hell is this? And she was like, well, like you know, like it's a trip. She said, why are all these people here? And she was like girls a group on?
She was like, you have a group?
She said, Jaya thought group. I meant that like I don't know that, like you you purchased the boat or something like that, or you read the boat for the Yo. I was wrongly. She was like, Jada and Will were.
Like all these people, what the hell?
And she was like, Jada, I picked you up in a twenty dollars rental car. What the hell do you think I was And she was like, oh my god, the windows are not tinted. I don't know if I feel comfortable, she said, Jada, you forgot you from Baltimore. She said. But they ended up having such a good time and she said. Will was like, Yo, this was so much fun. I think I'm gonna buy one of these. And she was like, oh a boat. He said, no, a swamp.
And she was like, wow, why would you even think that they knew what a group on is. I would have been like, and here's the urban Dictionary. Here's you know, Webster's definition of a group on I know, use my login.
If you get a chance. Everybody should like like like you know, I guess go to YouTube and just type in like, uh, Jimmy Kimmel, Tiffany Chef Haydish. Because it's such a funny story because first of all, she starts off with the the epicenter of all things brown girl, like how you start every story? What happened was? I said, no, she did, Jimmy Kimble. She said, what happened was? And I was rolling. I said, I love you already.
I love them tools in it, Jada Pink and Queen Latifa.
There's a fourth a Regita kinga king.
Okay, I need to see it. I have got to see it.
Yeah, I'm gonna figure out, like I'm like, do I need to see it? At ten am on a Wednesday.
I'm actually going on a girls trip next weekend to Montreal.
Have you been before?
Uh?
No, yes, I have been. I don't speak French, but I have been to Montreal. I went for like a I went for a weekend like five years ago for a music festival. But this is a girls trip. Okay, I'm excited.
I'm not a big fan of I'm not gonna lie, I'm not a big fan of Montreal.
What what effort did Montreal do to you?
I mean like it was alright, you know how you go places, you're like, you know the m e h. That's how I thought about it.
I remember having a great time. I remember the weather being spectacular. I rented a bike and I biked all over that damn city. I even stole a bike because it was before City Bike came to New York City. I didn't know how it worked. And what happened was I thought that you could take it to your hotel overnight and just leave it there. I was like, surely there's not a station near me, so that dispussed. Mean that I could just park it here at my hotel.
I don't know, And like five years later it sounds so stupid, but sure enough, I couldn't find a doc to leave my bike, so I just brought it to the hotel, left it over night, and return it the next day. But it had been like ten hours and I was charged at seven hundred dollars for stealing a bike. But uh, what's funny is I call I got back to New York and I called my credit card company, and at the time I still didn't know what I had done wrong, so I was so outraged. I'm like,
this is thievery. They tricked me. There must have been a skimmer on the on the bike share, you know, compared the bike share thing like where you rent the bike. And I called my I think at the time it was Bank of America, and bless their hearts, they were like, oh, right away, missus must be fraudulent because no knew what a bike share was and it was also a foreign transaction, so their fraud department was just like, eh, that's gone. So technically, I like I was the fraud.
Yeah, you're like, yas my bad.
I mean I returned it. No, I had a great time. I remember the food being good. But anyway, this was it's really all for my my well, I'm trying not to tell the full there's a full story. While we're going to Montreal. It's kind of honest, it's kind of sad, but we're just turning the sad trip. We're turning the sadness into a girl's trip, so hopefully it'll be hopefully it'll be more fun than your trip was, Yeah, I.
Just want to thank like to be a listeners just like sad Bird, Like you know, our last podcast we talked about my fibroids and like I'm just beginning the journey. I'm like, oh, you guys are so awesome reaching out, giving your phone numbers, naming your doctors. And I said, Okay, So honestly, I'm really like, I joined this group on Facebook called Vegan for Beginners. I know I'm not gonna be one of those vegans, I promise, but I don't even know if I'm.
Gonna becaz is a vegan thinking about it.
You know, and so I don't know that I'm gonna but I definitely have heard obviously meat has a lot of hormones, and the higher your hormones, like like fibroids, apparently you know, thrive off like higher hormone levels, and so I'm definitely just open to I've been a bit to changing my diet anyway. So I'm just like, Okay, I don't know that I'll be like completely vegan, but I definitely want to adopt a diet that's going to
you know, help with this and also stress. I heard it's like, you know, a big, like like really kind of exacerbates your your fibroid situation. Something called live cultures, which are like probiotics, which are like I'm like, really because I freaking love Greek yogurt, I love like olives all these things that they're like, oh yeah, girl, no, I'm like really wait those apparently well this is what
someone wrote me. I don't know for sure, you know, you have, everyone always has something that they did share.
I'm already tired, I.
Know, so I just said, you know what, but I read this really great article and they basically were like, like, you know, go speak with your doctor, find a doctor, and maybe even if it's a cluster of doctors that you trust, and then work from there. But I mean, in general, it's never a bad thing to eat, right, So that's something that I want to do in general.
But at the end of the day, I'm going to like really sit down and find some doctors that I really trust and that understand and really that their focus is this, you know, like women and their like reproductive systems, and then just really like see like what can be done.
You know.
Yeah, yeah.
Recap though for people who don't know what you're talking about. The fibroid situation.
So yeah, I found out like I was like, oh, I should got to like you know Obgyn. I mean like I'm grown, so like I was like, never I was going to my regular doctor. But I wasn't going and I never had like any issues. It wasn't like, you know, I'll always get my regular like you know, checkups like I said, but I went and I always
had like this little pouch. Well not always, I would say the last maybe like five or six years, I had this little pouch on my belly and I couldn't figre y wide because I'm like, hmm, you know, like my stomach is fairly flat. And I would always complain to Superman and he'd be like, I don't see a belly. I'm like, I have one. I can't do anything about it, damnit.
He's like, yeah, it was a trap.
Yes, And I was always wearing like if you've seen me, like typically most of my speaking outfits are pretty fitted, so you probably like tip, I never see the belly, I'm like, uh SPANX and like you know, so I
always always always wore. My sisters would tease me because even when I was like like, I'm like, I would say medium size now, but even when I was small, I would still wear like some sort of control top and they're like, what the hell tip me, and you're like a size four, and I would always be like no, like you know, I just have this little belly I can't get rid of. So I guess it turns out it was fiveboids. I don't know how I never figured that out before, but apparently now. I don't know how
large they were now, but they're fairly large. She never told me, like, she never gave me a comparison, like to what but three large fiveboids, and I was like, yikes, And they're so fiveboids are non cancerous tumors, and you're like, you're uterus walls, so your uterine walls, I guess stay home. And so basically they can you know, it can prevent you from having kids, or if you do get pregnant,
you're you're more of risk for like miscarriages. And it doesn't mean that, like lots of women have kids with five birds, but it's just you want to be mindful of these things, especially if you're wanting to have kids, and you know, so five boys, it's still a kind of a mystery as to why they grow, what makes them grow, what makes them shrink. So, you know, I'm
just kind of like exploring that. You know that it's It's been a part of my family history, and so I'm just kind of like figuring out, like, you know, what do what direction do I going? So the doctor, well, the second doctor I went to, it was like oh, he was a man. He was like, oh, right away, we all take care of these. We got to schedule some surgery. And I was like, oh, like that's pretty you know that's because you can you can have surgery and then end up messing up your uterus and not
being able to have kids. And I'm like, uh, before we explore that option. I'm not fifty out one of those things exactly. So I'm just like, hold up, wait a minute, kidney exactly. So I'm just like, you know, so I'm really just trying to explore what are my options. You know, Like, I'm not opposed to surgery, but I don't want to put myself in a position to not at least try. I'm not gonna lie. I'm still on the fence about kids. I'm not like, yes, I have
to be a mom. I'm kind of like, I want to try and if I have kids, great, But I'm not someone who's like, if I don't have kids, I'm definitely adopted because I want to be a mom no matter what. I don't feel that way. I'm just kind of like, I want to try and if I have kids, great, and if I don't, will I be disappointed? Yes, but it's not my first it's not you know what I mean. Like I always thought that something was gonna click in me and I'd be like, oh, I want to be
a mom no matter what. And that has not clicked. Oh, I'm thirty seven, so it's not like, oh, because people told me, wait till your mid thirties, it'll click. It hasn't.
Really people. I'm surprised because people that are older, people I know who waited to have kids when they were older, universally have told me I wish I had done this, really, and I should actually have been taking a poll as to why they wish. I don't know if it was because their bodies or their workload or what, but that
And I just saw Mandy Kaling not to Mindy Kaling's pregnant. Yeah, And I read an interview she gave and She's like, yeah, so everyone told me to have a kid, just do it sooner than later, and so she just kind of just like had one. And now I'm thinking, should I just have one?
Just yeah, I don't I know. Honestly, it's I'll say this like my my my best friend has a old two year old. My sister has a one and a half year old and also a four month old. It is disruptive to say that.
It seems terrible. No shame to all you moms out there. I'm sure it's very fulfilling, but you guys need to look awful.
But I mean, honestly, like I'll say this like, oh my god, my nephew, my godson, my niece. I'm not gonna lie when I have a bad if I'm having like like if today was like say a like super bad day, I would be like all right, after we get off the podcast, I'm actually just gonna go to my sister's house and literally just soaking the love and the pure spirits like that they are, because that's how awesome it is to be around them. And then poop time, dipe changed it, time to go to sleep. I'm mad
at everybody. I won't eat so you're like, oh, aside from Auntie lovetime, there's this other part where my sister literally what I call her all I hear her say is.
Roman, Roman, Roman, Roman, Roman. Don't hear your sister Roman, don't bit her toes? Roman, don't eat that. And I'm like, what's that mean? While Roman's only wanted to alf and I'm like, he's a terror. A cute terror, but a terror.
It's very disruptive because I remember before telling her, like I had asked her to do me a favor and I was like, well, why did you do it? She's like, I'm on with a one year old and a four month old and I was like, it can't be that hard. And then I baby said, and I was like, please save me. I was so exhausted and I couldn't. You can't sleep, cause what are you gonna do? Sleep and
let the kids be up while they destroy themselves? Like I don't even know how she does it, Like sometimes the baby she only get two nights three hours worth of sleep and now she's back at work.
That's why God made them cute.
Yes, I really believe that that God made kids really cute, because if not, I don't even know I people would keep them because it's a lot. So I'll say this that you know, I know people say, oh I wish I would have had them earlier or whatever. But have them when you're ready, because know that your life is not gonna be the same ever again in a good way and also in a disruptive way.
Quite honestly, It's kind of like how I feel how I felt when I went hang gliding in Brazil. Stay with me on this analogy thing. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I've jumped out of planes and all kinds of stuff, because you literally have to work against all of your human instincts by like propelling like running, getting a running start, and then continuing to run and keep running and then jump off a cliff, and the whole time you're like, this is terrible, this
is stupid. Why am I doing this? And you have to like get it. That's what I feel like having a kid is like when you have to like decide to do it. You know, it's like you're going again, So you have all these reasons why not in front of you, and you have to keep just like barreling through it and just trimp off the Cliff and then it's fun or you die.
Like I said, it's both super awesome and super I think I'm going to kill myself, so I try. I try my best to like go over, like it'll be crazy. She'd be like, oh, I got I got your mail from mommy and Daddy's house. And I'm like, okay, I'll come get it without fail. I'll come get it, and I'll be giving like roaming a hug and Amelia kids, and she's either asleep or in the shower.
She's like trappers.
Yeah.
So now I just know, like she wanted to be asked, do you have anything to do after this? No? Last time I turned around, she literally just got into her bed, and I was like, oh, so I guess it's just me and you kids. And so it just made me realize, like, wow, I need to come over more often just to relieve her. Even I it's just for an hour and nap. If you know new moms or even if they have two other kids and let those kids have a baby city age, go relieve them.
Yeah, just an hour or something. Yes, if you're good with kids. Otherwise people like me stay home.
Just send money, send money or give them like your next gift, give them like the gift of a babysitter.
I did. I sent my girlfriend a gift them a massage and like a gift to a hair salon, like a salon where she can get like a massage or hair for her baby shower. Gift was that petty? I was like, babies don't choose need more baby clothes?
Yeah, no, I think a massage or a break. Honestly, I swear that one of the things I'm looking for is like a really good babysitter, Like so that way I can like gift my sister like in the area where we live in and just to gift her like, Okay, you know, I'm gifting you married for the afternoon so you can like, you know, lay down that sweet Yeah, I'm gonna look. So I'm like, any abb out anybody know a good babysitter Newark? You know who's not crazy or like doesn't eat kids. Let me know that is
a high bar. You don't eat kids. You're not a murderer, You're not crazy. Let me know. It's time for do we have a name to segment? What do we call this?
Questions? Okay, you don't even know her email yet you can't possibly remember the segment a segment name, no way for questions.
So, yes, do we have any questions? I know we do.
Okay, Yes, today our question is and remember you guys, We're going to do a special student loan episode in August. So I've gotten a lot of questions from you guys on student loan debt. If you have student loan det questions, you can email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com or go to Brownambition Podcast dot com and select the ask us anything tab. So the question for today's show is from listener LaToya, and my heart is
like breaking for her. Here's her question, and I'm gonna have to shorten it a little bit, but I'll get the gist of it. LaToya says, I'm typing through my tears right now. I am beyond frustrated. But in the midst of gathering myself and I thought of the two of you. The most precious day of my life is haunted by bad debt. I gave birth to my daughter, Taylor in twenty fifteen. At the time, I was a single mom, and I signed up for every new parent
class I could find. I'm thirty three years old and I'm fortunate enough to earn a good salary and have decent health care. But after I gave birth to my daughter, even with that healthcare, I've been hit with almost eight thousand dollars in medical bills. They don't offer any sort of centralized billing department, so I've been I've spent the last two years getting all separate bills notifications from every person in practice that played a role in my delivery.
Yeah you can relate to that probably, Yeah, hospital visit and you get so many different bills. So here she is with eight thousand dollars in medical bills from all different facets of her her delivery process. So it's twenty sixteen. This is a year after the birth, and I finally got a hold of someone in their billing department that outlined all the outstanding bills that she could see. From my understanding, I settled all the debt associated with my delivery.
Since then. Cut to now, I've since moved to Texas and I'm in the process of building homes. But nine months into building the house, I'm a few weeks away from closing. Today, I received several alerts on my Fico account. It turns out four medical bills were reported and have dropped my score an average of fifty six points. I'm furious and I don't understand how this happened, no warning, no communication. What are my options? And here's sort of
an epilogue. She says, I verified the creditor had my North Carolina address, so she's from a North Carolina originally and now she's in Texas and my old phone number. But they said it was my responsibility to update them. But how did I note? How could I have known to update them if I didn't know these bills existed? What should I do?
And how old is this debt?
This is only from twenty fifteen, so it's a couple.
Of Oh, okay, so it's not like it's not like this debt has expired.
Yeah, So she's saying that. She says that she had this eight thousand dollars debt. It was from she was getting separate bills for all these little things that added up to eight thousand dollars. And so she called the hospital building office to say, can you just tell me everything I owe and I'll go ahead and pay everything now.
And she said she thought everything was settled, but apparently there were these four outstanding bills that were not settled, and that's what So basically she moved and wasn't getting her bills anymore. I don't know. Yeah, the hospital or the debt collector didn't have her new address and stuff.
So honestly, only thing I would think that you can do now is to try to negotiate with the debt collectors that you owe to get them to remove these things if you pay them.
I wonder if it's the hospital that's pursuing the debt or if they've already sold the debt, because it hasn't quite been I mean, this deet happened in twenty fifteen, but she settled it in twenty sixteen, so it may be even less than a year since since she settled those debts. So I don't know. It depends on who owns it. But maybe she could call the hospital and if it's still the hospital, then they could then she could settle and maybe get them removed from her credit report.
Does that change if it was a debt collector.
Well, either one like oftentimes you can negotiate for that. So sometimes I'll tell people that I'm like, okay, like you oldest debt. It especially like let's just say you owe two thousand, and if you're trying to settle for five hundred, like good luck, you might be able to settle for five hundred, but they're not going to remove it.
But if you owe two thousand and you're actually going to pay two thousand or fifteen hundred or higher, then sometimes you can negotiate can this be removed because you're paying basically most of it or all of it, And so sometimes that cause ultimately debt collectors or people that you owe, they don't care about your credit report. They
want their money. So if you're able to give them their money and dangle the carrot of like, hey, this is why I want to exchange, and before you pay, get that in writing that they're going to remove it, then that's what I would try to do. But just know that, you know, you have to be able to either pay most or all of that debt in order for that to to go through. You know, like because I've seen like you know, I'm like I've seen people
you know, get you know stuff. It's called a good faith letter basically, get people get things removed from your from your credit report, and so you can try that, or a good will letter. It's called a good No, it's called a good will letter. So you can just google go ahead the.
Good will letters. Just you send those to the credit bureaus or to your lender or the debt collector.
So you would send that to the debt collector, so whoever is borrowing that you're borrowing from, because actually, like clear Point is like this, like free I remember, I think I met them at fin Con. Clear Point is like this free debt or credit counseling agency. They're nonprofit and they actually have a d YI how to write a good how to write a good will letter for credit repair, and so you know, it's it's possible. It's
it's different from a dispute. Basically, you're just saying, I know this happened, and you know, and I'm not asking. I'm not saying that this didn't happen. I'm just saying, hey, you know, can you, if I pay you or whatever, can you basically do me a solid and take this off? You know?
Yeah. One of my questions that I that I had for LaToya, and I actually emailed her. I'll see if she responded, but I wanted to know if when she settled those debts, if she had gotten a letter from the hospital saying they had been settled and the closed. Because I've actually had to settle I was going back and forth and back and forth with someone some lab
that I had gotten. I don't know some you know how you go to the doctor to get a physical, and they put the blood work, they put it, they send the blood work to like a third party lab, and I kept getting billed from them and builds from them, and I finally was like, let me just settle this and I'll pay your eighty dollars or whatever. And they even went They sent me a verification saying the account had been closed and it was paid in full, and
I kept that for my records. I don't think that she had like a record of this settlement, and I would have, and I would say, if anyone's in this situation and you're you're moving forward and you're trying to settle a debt, whether it's with a hospital or your credit card or whoever, to make sure that you're getting
some sort of record where you can show them. Because people make mistakes, especially we were just talking about medical billing offices make mistakes all the time, and you can you can dispute them and I mean argue against them. But if you have a paper trail, it makes your case all that stronger.
Yeah, And like I said, try that, try that goodwill letter. Like I said, the purpose of a good will letter is to appeal to the goodwill of the person that you owe. You're not saying that you don't owe. You're acknowledging that this is a debt that's mine. But you know, I'm asking that you You know that you were sending this base for my credit report, you know, and you know one of the ways you could do that. Let's just say if it's if it's one late payment that
you made. You know, people send in goodwill letters or in this in this instance saying this is what happened. I thought, I did everything. What can I do to fix it? And and can you if I pay, you know, can you take this off? You'd be surprised because, like I said, ultimately, they don't care about your credit report. Credit reports are the way they try to get you to pay them. Like, well, if I punish you here, I'll get my money. Ultimately, everybody just wants their money.
But what if she doesn't actually owe it, because I mean, in that case, she needs to. I don't think she shouldn't acknowledge that the debt's hers if she's not invented. So one of the things I would tell her to do or anyone is people don't you should send a debt or she should try sending a debt verification form to this is true and this is all Oh go ahead now, so I.
Say, you're right, verified it, like, make sure this debt is yours.
Because if you send it, when you send a debt verification letter and I'll post a link in the show notes. But this Consumer of Financial Protection Bureau has a form. It's like a sample letter. All it is is you're asking, how do you know this debt is mine? What's the amount, what are the dates? And it was dude, show me that you show me that I owe this debt, basically, and if they can't do that, then you should move forward and dispute that it's even yours in the first place.
And it sounds like that she has a case. Hold on a second, Oh, this is so awesome. Wait a second, this is like a live question update LaToya. She emailed me back two hours ago.
Wow, Hey, LaToya, you just knew we were gonna call LaToya.
Wait and it's good news. Wait a second. Okay, so we didn't even help her. We helped hopefully someone else enjoyed our advice. No, okay, this is okay, hold on, this is breaking news. We need a breaking news away. Thank you. So here's Yah's update. She says, thank you so much for responding. I used Okay, this is so cool. I used a group legal prepaid benefit through my employer to find an attorney, so her employer had a benefit program where she could find like low cost legal aid.
They fought the debt, and all three bureaus deleted those four accounts from my reports. My credit score has recouped most of the impacted points to my credit score, and I close on my home on August fourth.
That's another right. We didn't think about that legal services. See LaToya, you taught be a listener something that we didn't even suggest. That's awesome. I'm glad you fought it.
I didn't know. Well, she didn't say in her original question that it was like a lawsuit, you know, or she was sued or whatever. But that's definitely something that's like the next step like, once these debts have been unpaid for so long, they ding you on your credit report, and then if enough time goes by, they may even pursue a lawsuit against you in court. And that's when things get difficult. But she did exactly the right thing by trying to find low cost legal service.
So huzza, yes, take them. That's to the man.
Hospital, suck man. Yeah, that is the moral of this story. I should have done a Brown break for medical building offices. All the stress, you know, and she had. The thing that kills me is she had insurance and she still wind up in this situation.
That's crazy.
Even if you have insurance, you're not safe from this BS. But happy ending. That was so funny. Yeah, okay, good, I'm glad because she sounded so stressed in that email. Okay, guys, you too can have a happy ending if you if you email your questions to Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com.
Dot com or.
Go ahead, alhead, no, no, how.
About you say it? What's their website?
The uh podcast dot com?
You got it. We're coming up on our two year anniversary.
I know what are we gonna do?
I don't know. Last year we did a dinner.
So start asking us, like when are we gonna have When are we gonna get pregnant? When we're gonna get married? With you and me now, because you know we were like you've been together for two years. Now, when are you a man? He gonna have a baby? Leave us alone?
She's seeing other people, super boos and supergirls.
I know we should do something. Maybe you guys can giveus some suggestions. Tweet us, yeah, if you have some suggestions about you know what, like what should we do to celebrate? Last year we had a dinner with some listeners which was really fun and the food was it wasn't the food was so good. So what should we do this time? We'd like to do something a little different.
It's got six flags.
Yeah, no, I hate Oh that's right.
I meant to tell you Supergirl has some words to say to me at your wedding about that trip to Disney World. What is she.
Yo? Supergirl? Is something it up? What does she say?
Oh? Never mind, I don't want to get her in trouble. I'm not a rat.
No, no, she's I because she's like, oh that's manny, I've got some things to share. Does she not have a good time.
No, she had a great time. She loves you. You're the best. She said, You're so beautiful and pretty and smart and talented. It's exactly what she said.
Yeah right, Supergirl's like, I'm not really feeling you right now. She calls me the daddy hogger. Oh oh, I know we vented into that stage now. I'm like, oh.
Great, just wait till she's fourteen. You can have him.
So are we gonna do some wins? I can have a quick win. Sure, So Tiffany, I can't say her last name hash hash hattish hattish. So apparently I just saw on essence dot com that she got a stand up a deal discount deal or deal whatever with Showtime. So that's pretty awesome.
Oh to do a stand up show, Yeah, you know that's pretty big.
You know all the greats have done that. So I just want to say knows to you. From one Tippany to another. What about you? Any any wins?
Yeah? I'll give a win to gold Bond rapid itch relief. It is the best rapid itch relief cream on the market. Find it in your local CBS. You can buy it with your FSA card.
What okay, I guess you know.
For real, if you're itching from your trip, don't use that cortizone cream. Just use like gold bond or a V No. Those are my two favorite from one type oh to another? Is that what we had along? Swell, we're both typos?
I know, are you? Are you the are you the donor or the givern?
Wait, Tiffany, we're typos?
Now that wasn't funny.
I just took some penatrol.
But are you the universal donor? Are you the universe of receipt?
I'm positive so I think I can give, I can take, but I can't know. I'm oh positive, I forget. I think I'm the universal.
Receiver receiver and I'm the universal donor, but I can't give from anybody except for O's.
Okay, sucks for you.
Basically, I don't know why that's so funny anyway. Yeah, so Brad a bitch, listeners again, we have hopefully transformed your life and made it better.
I'm so happy for LaToya. Genuinely, that was so cool.
Yeah, it is, honestly, and Latoya's got to listen to this and be like, oh my god. Hopefully.
So she got her she got her legal team, she fought back she got through it. She's a single mom. Come on, people don't.
Yes, people want that, they don't.
Yeah, she won. Like if you just if you just take the time to fight back, it doesn't have to be hopeless.