Hey, hey, hey, happy birthday to my day friend Day, tiff Day.
Meanwhile, like the next time we say my birthday will actually be closer. What No, Oh, that's right, that's true. It'll be passed, but only by two days.
I'm like, my mouth, I cannot be that incorrect.
Yeah, well, thank you. Either way, I'm gonna be turning none of your business. Like no, I'll be turning thirty eight, which all was so crazy coming out of my mouth. I'm like, I still fill twenty five.
Thirty eight sounds great?
Yeah, no, because I mean I'm excited because Superman was like, you're not allowed to do any work. He told me weeks in advance, where months and advance, like take that whole weekend off. And he's been like like leaving the house on secret John with like his sister and his best friend, and like asking me all these cryptic questions about like what shoe sides do I wear? I'm like, lord, what does he doing?
Shoe size? I don't know, Oh, roller skating, let's have it. Let's guess roller skating. I hope it's not bowling.
Right, or just like what size in general? What size do you wear in this? What size do you we're in that Do you like ear rings?
Do you?
I'm like, what's happening.
Oh, maybe he's gonna pretty woman you.
I feel like, yeah, honestly, I have a strong suspicion, which I'm slightly nervous about because we have different tastes.
Let's just say you've heard a little bit about that.
Yeah, Superman would have me in like door knockers and like, you know, cross colors if it was up to him. So I'm just like, yeah, let's not go to crazy with with the outfit or whatever it is. But I did tell him that I but he asked me kind of like what did I want? And I said, honestly, a house. And then I'm like, now that's happening. So now I told him honestly, I just want to spend like a nice day with him, just enjoying. Nothing too crazy.
I'm not, you know. He was like, do you like, would you want to go to a club of Minah? I mean, I'd have to really be in a mood. It's possible, but I doubt it. So we'll see.
In my experience, going to the club with your esso is not that much fun. Yeah, with your husband? I mean I love my husband, but I don't. I'd much rather be on a couch watching Netflix than like, yes, spending fifteen dollars in a cocktail with him, like with other people. It's whatever, but you know it's just kind of like it's a little awkward.
Yeah, I feel like that too, So I was like, yeah, no likely no club, no club for you.
But like my mom says, whatever they do, just tell them you love it.
Yes, I have. This is amazing. I'm trying to get my voice right. Oh my god, no, that's too high. Oh my god. Okay, that's good, that's my normalt. No, but I'm sure it's going to be awesome.
Bless them well, happy early birthday. I will be I will toast you you from the resort in the Dominican Republic, where I will be beginning tomorrow. I'm so excited.
Yeah, how long are you guys going to be there?
Just just for a wedding. So we're going to be there Wednesday through Sunday, so nice, four days. Four days is yeah. It's one perk of marrying a Dominican, I guess, as you get to go to all the Dominican weddings. So I'm really excited.
Is it. How did the Dominican of Republic fair during the hurricanes?
Really? Actually, they got really lucky, as far as I know from his family and friends and what we've heard from them, they got really lucky. Of course, you know, extended family in Puerto Rico, which there's not very many, weren't as lucky. But yeah, Actually I joke because I'm like, yeah, I married Dominican, so I get to go whenever I want.
But joke's on me because he's actually his family's actually from the Santiago, the city of Santiago, which is like smack in the middle of the country, no water, no barely even rivers, Like it's just like the jungle, and not really jungle, but it's it's like rainforest and the like the worst mosquitoes you'll ever encounter in your life.
So you're thinking, you're like we with sudden surf, and they're like, yeah, more like birds and trees, which are beautiful, but not what you were thinking.
More like, you know, come visit my uncle, and here's a mango from his tree, and here's some eggs from his chickens. Like you know, it's just like more country than that. It has its charms but you know it's not a four star resort, which is you know, has also has its charms obviously. Yes, I'm looking forward to I'm really excited. Oh I could use a vacation after what's happening.
I know, I was in the world so many things. I'm like, what should we what should we dig through? First?
We must we have to talk about this whole Harvey Weinstein controversy. I feel like everybody's talking about it now.
Everybody, And I'm like, it just keeps getting worse and worse. And I'm like, what I mean, you know, well for those of you who are like, what Harvey Weinstein. So just to set the stage, he is he is a producer.
Manby he's like the producer. I mean, I don't even know if the producers is a big enough word for him. But he co founded Miramax, which is was ginormous, Yes, still powerful, but not as ginormous as it was like in the nineties. Yeah, but his his company produces films that lots of us have watched and heard of, like Goodwill, Hunting and Shakespeare in Love, like all these films that have won Oscars over the years. And you I always knew him as like that person people thanked and they're
like they're acceptance speeches. But I never really knew who he was. You know, thank you, Hobby Doling like that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
But meanwhile, while he was helping people launch their careers, he was also grouping them and dozens of hotel rooms around the world, yes.
And like basically imposing his the power struggle basically like so these young women who were you know, up and coming models or actresses or whatever, putting them in positions. I think I read Ashley Judd, which I love Ashley Jed that when she was young, up and coming actress, you know, Harvey had her in the room and was like basically trying to make over children. She was like, yeah, no, I'm kind of good. It was like, well then watch
me shower and all this other kind of stuff. And she didn't know what to do because you know, what do you what do you do when you're like, wow, this person can make or literally destroy my acting career, what do you do?
Yeah? He was literally producing the movie that she was shooting at that time.
Yep, And so she was so nervous. So she turned him down obviously, but was nervous about what was that going to mean? She told her mom and I think I read this article. She told her mom and her mom was like, yes, that was definitely sexual harassment. I mean, she went on to obviously do the movie and do well, and she said she didn't have an incident from him
after that. But still other actresses are coming forward, like Wereyneth Paltrow and Angelina Joe Lee and just like wow and just like his secretaries and all that kind of stuff, and You're just.
Like, what, you know, That's what really grosses me out about the story because so first there was a New York Times article, and in the New York Times article they say there are several other media organizations that have been trying to do this story for years, but you could they couldn't get enough people to come forward. But so the New York Times finally gets I think, enough people to come forward and use their names to go
forward with their story. And then The New Yorker Today published their takedown, which is which which included women who said that he actually assaulted them and in some cases
possibly allegedly raped them or forced himselves on them. And then and then on top of that, the New York Times ran another story where like Gwyneth Paltrow and bigger names were coming out now acknowledging and what's really freaking creepy is like every and I'm sure even the reporters have more they I'm sure they have more examples of
this than they even included in their stories. But all the stories the same, Like he invited me to a room and there was a casting agent or an assistant who was supposed to be there, but they disappeared, and then we were alone, and then he asked for a massage, Like it's constantly him asking for a massage, or watch me undressed, or watch me take a shower, you know, come into the bath with me, like so, and it's just it's just be canny how all the stories are
the same, and he's been doing this for so long and it was this apparently, I mean, we're not in the world of Hollywood, but apparently it was just like open secret for so long.
Yeah. Yeah, And now we're at.
A point where you know, he's been out. First he took a leave of absence. Then I then I'm pretty sure his company saw the New Yorker story or were asked to comment on it, and then actually fired him. So now he's been completely ousted from his company. But I'm like, how was it down? Did it go on for I mean, I I guess I understand how it went on for so long because we've seen it in so many other cases like Roger Ayles, Bill O'Reilly, Bill Cosby, Yeah,
we're and you know Bill Cosby. It was sort of the same thing where oh, he gave me a drink and then I woke up and I had no idea what happened.
Yeah, And then you're like, cause, what does this mean? Because obviously he clearly targeted people who were you know, up and coming or you know, I mean, there are not too many people honestly in the movie industry that were bigger than Harvey. So almost everybody is quote unquote below him, you know. And so I just can't imagine being like, you know, this like up and coming actress and wanting to succeed and then this man, who you know, is all powerful in this industry and he comes on
to you, and you're like, what do I do? Like, am I supposed to tell? But then if you tell, that's it for your career? Like what do you do? That's why so many people didn't want to come forward. I can understand that.
Yeah, and lean like there's been a lot of I think in the day, like the days after the New York Times story, because I was like last week that came out, people were being critical of the lack of you know, you know, after a story like this comes out, typically you hear from females in the industry, like we did. We heard from like Lena Dunnam and others, but a lot of people were like, where are the men at?
Where are the men at condemning this behavior? And I think I just today saw a headline from Matt Damon.
And Ben Affleck too.
Oh Ben Affleck too, who came out and spoke out because their movie Goodwill Hunting and you know was produced
by him. So but I'd be interested to see who else in the industry speaks out again against it, because like even faves like Meryl Streep have in their speeches been like, I have to think this man, you know, he made my career, you know, I owe him everything, and yeah, it's a key, it's and it's it's just like another And I was reading the stories in The New Yorker because I think it had better anecdotes from the women who were impacted, Like there was one woman
who was an Italian actress who Clayton, who alleges that he forced himself on her and she eventually gave in to what he was trying to do and went through with it, and how she just blamed herself for years and years and it was really the nuances. I think it really, I think it really her story especially, I think was a good example of how gray and icky
and complex sometimes instances of sexual assault can be. It's not the black and white, you know, he forced himself on me and I kicked him in the balls and ran away. There's so much psychological like warfare happening, and the power dynamic between you know, this great like you said, like a media mogul and a young actress is so just like having all that pressure on you and then
someone's forcing himself on you. I can't blame. And I hope it's sad to me to hear the woman the victims blaming themselves, but I think it's important to hear their stories because it shows that even if it's not that movie version of sexual assault, it's still assault. Yeah, and you know, and they still deserve to have a voice and to speak out against it and not feel like they're going to be persecuted because it wasn't like a textbook you know, sexual assault, if there is such a thing.
So how like, why now did the New Yorker kind of say that kind of like perused through the article like what you know, what was the tipping point to make this story break?
Honestly, the way that the New York Times, like I said, the New York Times article had to acknowledged that several other organizations have been trying to write this story for years, and in fact, a couple of them are working on stories right now. I think the New York Times was the first one to get enough people to go on the record. They probably got Ashley Judd and a couple of other women to come on the record, and they were like, Okay, we have enough information, we can go forward.
And they probably got those on the record comments before the other organizations did, and then I think the New Yorker right behind them. The New Yorker probably might have even been ready to publish your own story last week, but maybe waited. This is just me kind of understanding how like media organizations wait so if the New York Times scoops you own a story like that's so, But then you go and try and get more sources, more
on the record sources, and run your own story. And I think that I think that the New York Times finally got enough people after all these years to go on the record publisher story. And now, like we've seen in the past with Bill Cosby and others, as soon as the first story goes out, everyone not everybody, but like a lot of people want to come forward, and then you'll start seeing stories everywhere.
Shoot, yeah, well that's because then I cant understand. People are like, you know, oh, why are you saying something now? Because if I don't think anyone's going to believe me, I'm likely not to say anything. But once somebody can confirm. And sometimes you think you're the only person when something bad happens to you, and then you find out way that happened to you too, So there's the safety of
like I can now be believed, you know. And I think a lot of the actresses that are coming forward now, you know, they have these established careers that he can't necessarily harm like when they were beginning, you know, kind of like new actresses, So I could see why Ashley Jed was like, you know what, I can come out now because I'm established, and this is not right.
You know, we are not friendly to young women who speak out who are not established, because like you're not you look at the there was one woman, I think it was the New Yorker who got the audio. So this woman basically claimed went to the police, said that he groped her, and the police wanted to put together a sting operation so they might drew up and send him to his hotel room, and want wanted her to
have a conversation with him about what happened. And she does, and anyway, the New Yorker has the audio of it, and it's really disgusting and what he's like, I'm a very famous man, you know, don't embarrass yourself. Don't lose your friendship with me for five minutes because he wanted her to come talk to him for five minutes. Anyway, But this woman actually so she went to the police.
I believe she went out. She's come out before and gone public with her accusations, and all of a sudden there was like his lawyers, there was like a smear campaign against her, you know, this stuff in her past. And I mean, and honestly, if I were a woman who had been assaulted by a famous man or like a man in a place of power, and I saw that it took thirty years for this to come forward, like I wish I wouldn't It wouldn't encourage me to
speak up. These types of stories just I just feel like they almost make you feel like even less like you want to speak up because clearly it took like so many years, so many voices coming together for this kind of story to come out.
And I mean, I agree, I don't know that. I mean, when someone's in the position of power, it's not just like it's your livelihood. What do you say? You know?
And I always go back to that story of it doesn't have to be sexual assault. It's like, do you
remember that story? When I was at Yahoo and I had the makeup artist I was working with this makeup artist he was he was he had been working there for like I think a year or two, and slowly, over the course of working with him, he would say the most mean, like abusive, like manipulative things to me, just like little things like you know, uh, he would I'm struggling to come up with examples now because it's
been so long. But in one case, he was like, really really being rough with my makeup, and I said, you know, could you please, you know, go lighter with the with the makeup. And this was toward the end of all these altercations we had had over the course of like six months or whatever. And he's like, well, you know, this is why no one wants to work with you at Yahoo. This is why no one wants. He would say these little things, and I would just want to be I would want to not be a diva.
There is always other people in the room, and I was a lowly, not a lowly, but I wasn't like Katie Kirk. And you know, I wasn't like, I wasn't top of the call sheet. I was just in my doom, my little money minutes, you know, get him my makeup done or whatever. So I didn't want to cause a stink. But then finally I opened up to another girl, another young another young reporter who has an anchor on the shows, and she was like, oh my god, he says the
most abusive things to me too. And then another girl talked about how one time he looked at her and was like, you know, asked her who abused her as a child to make her act like the way she was acting, Oh my gosh, And we all three were like, you know, in my in my case, it wasn't like every everything he was saying to me was so it wasn't going to break me. It wasn't like, you know, I wasn't going to walk out of there, and you know,
as a whole human. But they were just slowly just like very very like disturbing and like uh verbally abusive things that he was saying. And then to find out other women were experiencing it, and then we sent a group email to the video department and he ended up not working there anymore. But that that, to me is like an example of it's those little subtle things that can add up. And then I and I was like, well,
why didn't I say anything sooner? You know that the head of the head of video even asked me, you know, why didn't you say anything sooner? And I'm like, I I don't, you.
Don't want to know. I don't know. I taught not to be troublemakers. You're taught not to rock the boat. You're taught not to disrupt, you.
Know, yeah, and you're and you're also taught. It's almost like you it's like, oh, is it really that bad? It's like no one teaches you. When is it? You know, when is it so bad that you have to speak up? You know, I don't know. It just didn't seem so black and white to me that, okay, I really need to speak up. But then and it also didn't seem you know, I'm a tough cookie, like I can take
this jackass, you know, saying things to me. But then to find out that other women had been spoken to even worse than I had, and like maybe if I had spoken up, he would have been fired, and you know, he wouldn't had an opportunity. I always think about that, and I don't know, I don't I don't know if I would do anything differently. I wish I could say, yeah, you know, I I would go back and speak up earlier. But you never know until you're in that seat as a young woman.
No, you're you're right. You never know, honestly until it's so easy, until kind of like your back is against the wall and it's just it's I find that I'm a much better advocate for other people than I am for myself, And so you know, it's easy for me, Like if I see someone doing something wrong with someone else, I'm like, what, like no, but me, I'm like, well,
you know, I could take it. I could. A lot of times I stand up only because, like you said, I think about what does this mean for someone else?
You know, I know, is there any case in your life where you're like, do you have this? Have you ever had an interaction with someone like consecutive times and you're like, next time, I'm going to say this, or like next time I'm going to do this different, And then it keeps happening and then you just for some reason or the other, continue to not speak up for yourself.
Oh yeah, all the time. I told you, like I had a bad habit of having like and thank you guys for tweeting me about like someone actually told me they're like I'm a fully friend. I'm like, oh oh, people are like confessing, I'm so sorry. So yeah, because like I said, I tend to I don't know if it's like middle child syndrome, but I'm a people pleaser and so well I always take it really personally. If someone is mean to me or doing something because I think to myself, well, what did I what did I
do to elicit this response? I must not be nice enough, like I smile enough and perky and I said, hey, it's okay, you know, And what's so bad about when someone is like when someone is just nasty or mean and they pick up on, oh got me a people pleaser here, they will abuse you more than the average. And so I've definitely been there where I'm like, oh
my gosh, okay, this has gone too far. You know, next time, I'm gonna say, hey, you not today, and I'm like and then it happens, and I'm like, uh, you know what, Actually, I'm just gonna be even nicer.
But then every like every once in a while, like I will break where it'll be like I'm exhausted and I've tried and I'm tired, and then I will be like, not today, you know, and I finally signed up for myself and they're like and I find that sometimes, like I remember when I used to teach preschool, I had this woman who was so mean to me, and I was twenty two and she was like forty something and she just made it so difficult to be a good teacher,
and she finally I snapped, and I said, enough, you're not gonna talk to me this way. You're not gonna treat me this way. It was even it was another layer that she was older, and like I just grew up like in a culture where you really don't talk back to older people, like there's a level of respect that you must display, And so finally I snapped and
that was all she needed. She basically was like, girl, was waiting for you to stick up for yourself, and I'm like, really, so abuse for a year, But yeah, it's not easy to stand up for yourself. But for some people, they have an easier time, but for me, it's certainly not easy. But I'm definitely gotten better at it where I don't let it linger as long as I used to, or I recognize it further away, where if I see someone has that tendency I did, I'm like, okay,
I'm not even gonna allow them into my space. So I try to like nip it off by the bud because I, like I said, I don't I hate conflict. I don't like people being upset with me, and so it's not really my nature to like if me and Superman are like in a you know, like we're having an argument or whatever, I'm the silent one, like, you know, like he's like, well, let's talk about it, and I'm like, I don't know, conflict. I will just pretend like it ever happened. Okay, It's like.
That's that's not how that sounds healthy.
But he's so good. I'm like, where should I how to communicate like this? He such a good communicator, Like so yesterday, you know, I can tell you're mad, So what happened? And I'm like, who are you? He's like, doctor Phil And meanwhile I'm like, no, I'm saying I'm fine. He's like really, cause you haven't spoken to me in twenty four hours. I'm like, have I been silent? Let's
just say so. Yeah, no, it's yeah. So that's why I feel for these women because I can't imagine, you know, because I've thankfully only been in a situation like once where I was like, oh my god, I remember I met this guy at the mall. He was cute, and I gave him my number and we were like, I was gonna hang out, and I made a mistake of like I was young. I had to be like eighteen or something, and he said, oh, he picked me up. I was like, oh, I've got to go to the
house to get my wallet. I forgot it, so, being dumb, I said sure, so went to his apartment to get his quote unquote wallet. And I knew it was gonna be some trouble when he locked the door, not like locked it like you can't get out, but like, what do you need to lock the door for? If you get me your wallet? I remember thinking like, oh, snap. And I remember being like, oh hey, he's like sit down,
make itself comfortable. It was it was a studio. There was no place to sit but the bed, so I sat like at the edge of the bed and he came out of the room like he went to the bathrooms, like I just got to go the bathroom, Mandy. He came out naked, and I was like, oh, you were hurried, yes, And I remember thinking to myself, honestly, I remember thinking to myself, I've never been raped before. I'm gonna be
raped today. Like I remember, I was literally like bracing myself for it's gonna happen to me, Like okay, you have to brace yourself and he got on like the bed behind me, like so he's laying and I'm literally I mean, I could not have set more on the edge of the bed, and I don't know what he was doing behind me. The TV was on and we sat like that for like an hour. He said nothing. I said nothing, and I was just like, what is happening, Like I don't know what he was waiting for, don't
I don't know, And so nothing happened. I literally sat at the edge and he was behind me. I don't know if he was touching himself. I don't know. And then finally he was like, oh, right's gonna be ready to go, And I said, yup, because I was afraid to run to the door because I didn't know if if something in me and now I look back on it, some people like to chase, and so something in me
said don't move. You know that, like if I would have ran to the door and tried to unlock the lock and get the key, that he would have like attacked me. And so me not saying anything and not moving, it was like, Okay, he was bored with this is not the gay. I can't wrestle her to the ground. She's not moving, she's not crying, she's not anything. I
just didn't say anything. And so we last and I remember, you know, him saying that, oh, I'll dropped you off, and I had him like my drop me off like four blocks away from like where I live, Like okay, this is my house. Okay by what And it was a time of Beeber's and then he like paid me, was like hey, let's see you again. Of course I ignored it. Then he started going ballistic paging and calling and calling. It was crazy, like I know you live, I can come to your house at any time. I'm like, yeah,
go to that house if you want to. I don't live. But I remember thinking to myself, yo, first and last of putting myself in a position like that because of like me being like dumb, So yeah.
Well you dumb, you know, be nice. You were young. I mean, you don't want to blame yourself at the end of the day, he's the creep, that's true, But.
I just mean like putting as a woman, like I had to like really recognize that, like I have to be on guard because I grew up pretty sheltered. I never had to really be on guard before. And it honestly, wasn't the first time, like it was. I recognized that that in college. I learned that if you agree to go to a guy's room, then it was like you were sending a silent message to many men that like
oh I'm down for with the get down. And it took me a while, like like I can remember going on guy's room thinking we're gonna study and like he's like, oh, thinking like we're going to make out, and I'm like no, And he wasn't like particularly mad, but he was surprised, like, well, why'd you come? And I'm like, what is that the thing? Like, So if I come to your room, that means that I'm agreeing to at the very least make out. And
so I just stopped going to anyone's woman. I remember asking my male friends and they were like, well kind of, I'm like, now i'm older, I'm like, that's rape culture. If I agree, you know, if I be to study, it's your room, I'm not agreeing to make out with you.
So yeah, it's And I remember just telling my sister when she went away to school, like you know, after me, like just kind of giving her like the rundown of like you know, just being very mindful of her surroundings of like not going to anyone's room because for whatever reason, studying in a room means, hey, you're likely to get some sex from me. So yeah, yeah, whocha. I just I like, I just remember thinking. I can't even remember, like just thinking back, like I really was like, you're
gonna be raped today, that's it's happening. Oh, I'm so glad what I said. Nightmares for like weeks. Of course, I didn't want to tell my parents because I was like, they're gonna be like, you're never allowed I was never allowed out anyway, you know. So I was like they're like, you're never gonna be allowed out. So I didn't tell anyone. I just was like and then, you know, I remember now I saw him a couple of years later, like downtown,
and like he cursed me out. I think it was just crazy now that I look back at it, and he was like, oh I remember you, you stupid this and that I was just like yeo, okay, And I just remember him like walking down the street yelling behind me and like other men looking and I'm never thinking to myself, wow, so you're not gonna say anything to him. You know, I just yeah, sometimes people can be the
absolute worst. I see why people are afraid when they have daughters because not gonna say that men can't go through it. But I feel like women are so vulnerable physically, you know.
I feel like I've been so lucky, Like I acknowledge how lucky I am. All the travel I've done, all the like close calls I've had, I've haven't any issues. But you know what, I don't feel like that's made me like a I don't think I'm going to be a relaxed parent because I was so lucky. I think I'm gonna be even more strict. I'm gonna be like I was lucky. You're going to be like I use up all the luck.
Yeah, right, Because they say, isn't it one of four women or one of three women are sexually like assaulted or raped?
That sounds right? I don't. I don't know what the statistic is, but it's a lot of it's a lot of women. But thank you for sharing that story.
No, you're welcome. I mean, you know, I think everybody has to be on there, like on their guard I mean, thankfully, you know, I've got a good boot now, and honestly, I feel sorry for anybody who wants to step to the left or right because Superman does a lot of things, but play is not one of them. Like there's times I have to be careful because I'm like if I'm complaining, like oh, such as such, client, He's like, who where do they live? I was like, no, that's not what
we do. He's like, no, no do they Where did they live? It feels so weird because I just I grew up like just taking care of myself, so like it's weird to have like it's someone And honestly, some of the guys I did weren't exactly the most like protective, and so they have someone so overly protective. I'm like, no, you can't. Are you gonna are you gonna beat them up? No? No, no, just just talk. I'm like, you're you're sixty six. I don't think talking is what they're gonna see where they see? No,
And he's not much of a talker. So but it feels nice to know, like, ah, you don't want none of this, even though I'm not gonna let him, just so you know.
Well, I'm at least I'm glad to see that they at least actually fired him. It's a damn shame and how and like a third of the board apparently left. There's no way they didn't know this. I mean, he was settling all these lawsuits all these years. But I mean, Harvey, don't worry. You'll probably be our next president. Now it's
you'll you'll, you'll be fine. It's just really sad. But uh, it's and you know, you want to give the advice to young women if this happens to you in a work area, in a workspace, you know, you know, take the complaint to your human resource department, to a superior
or whatever. It's just really it really and I know I don't want to spend too much time on the topic, but it really pisses me off because that is so inadequate, that advice, Because you know, I've interviewed We did a story last year on a young woman who did this exactly, went to HR several times and was retaliated against by her employer because she went to HR, was demoted, was
given was given less work, you know. And although she ended up doing the same thing a lot of these women do, settling a lawsuit out of court with her superior. She in order to keep her job, would have had to continue working with this creep. They didn't fire him. He was still working there, and so in the end she still was the one punished. She had to leave. She was a single mother, leave her job and go
find something else. And it's just not a perfect there's just no like perfect la la la like happy ending to this. I think it's so much the onus is on the companies themselves to take action and get rid of people who at the top, who are taking advantage of their power at the position and power. And I mean, I can't say it again, like we need more women in places of power.
Please, for sure. That's the only way, it's the only.
Way I think it'll it'll stop. And a lot of women, not just one, because I think one woman at a board table with a bunch of men is not any better. We need more and more and more.
More more. Are we going to talk about, uh.
Dove, Dov, we can talk? Is this the Danielle Brooks controversy?
It's no, no, the commercial? Is that what you're talking about?
Well, daniel books, Yeah, yeah, Well I think I learned about it because Danielle Brooks from Orange is the New Black. She wrote a column on Lenny Letter about the Dove commercial. So I came in it from the back door.
But okay, because now I just thought, because I'm in this this like branding group called like build It branded launch It with Arsha Jones, it's my arcials last thing. But anyway, someone posts there. People are always posting kind of like case studies and like just asking what are your thoughts and we try, which I love. What's I love about the group is that you try to fix other brands kind of like issues in an effort to better understand marketing and stuff. So it's a great, like
you know, kind of like great group. It's mostly women and brown women. Now, so yeah, someone posted the still shot and I said, what in the heck? This can't be real. This can't be real. And then, you know, so people were kind of like going in and talking about, like, you know, why this is not good, what stuff can do. But then I went to go watch the video, the actual commercial, and I know this is not super popular and I was not gonna post it on my Facebook
because I don't want people to come for me. But the commercial wasn't that bad.
I know, commercial because I actually haven't. I've only seen screenshots, I haven't actually watched it.
Okay, so the commercial, the purpose of this lotion or whatever soap is supposed to show that it can fit different skin types. So it's this cute brown girl with the bun. She takes off her brown shirt, and as she's taken off, she becomes this redhead, this cute redhead with like a long ponytail. And then the redhead takes off her shirt and she becomes this middle Eastern maybe Hispanic, kind of like looking beautiful woman, like long black hair, and as that woman takes it off, it's an older
woman who's really pretty. So it goes from like different race and age and of like, hey, this soap can help everyone. And so when I saw the commercial in its entirety, I was like, oh, although what I thought was strange was why did Dove have this screenshot like from what I look like? The woman in the group who shared it shared it from Dove's page. I'm like, this is the most unflattering screenshot because all you're showing is a woman black woman slowly unpeeling and becoming a
white woman. Like I don't know how any.
Of the people probably just saw the screenshot and made a judgment call yes.
But I guess with all that's going on, even with the larger commercial in not being that bad, I don't know that that order was a good idea anyway, you know, because with all that's happening, and I'm just like dub like, oh, it's either a lotion or soap. And honestly, like someone said it best, someone said, hey, dev I'm looking at the whole commercial, because I was like, no, it's meant to show the different when they're like, I got you, But did you bring a brown person into the room
and say hey, thoughts? Honestly, because this could have It's just true that if you brought someone brown into the room and said thoughts about what you know, someone's going to say, I get what you're I get what you're trying to do. Oh sorry, this is yeah, I said, got it. It was a mosquito, and I said not today.
It's the little things, right, I.
Get what you're trying to do here, but it's having a brown, black woman turned into a white woman. No matter how you slice it, it's not a really it's not a good idea, you know, And that I see where you're going with, Like, but there has to be a better way to illustrate that different skin types and
skin tones can use this there. I mean, obviously there has to be I mean, Rihanna just lost launched penty and showed that, like, hey, this is a makeup brand that caters to all kinds of women without having to do this, you know.
Hey, yeah, they matched the undershirts to the color of their skin, like it's nice. Hey we have undershirts and different shades now, Like yeah, I.
Just was like, so, like I said, the overall outrage, I mean, I I the still shot looked terrible, but the commercial and its entirety wasn't as bad, although obviously it wasn't it wasn't good.
Yeah, but it's a marketing table. Maybe Yeah, I don't know. I honestly I can say if I had seen that, I would have raised any alarms.
I honestly, I can honestly say I probably wouldn't have. Because when I saw the commercial, I was like, okay, and so I went about my business. And then when I saw it blew up. I was like I was talking about the same commercial. But then I realized most people had never seen the commercial and even then, you know, by then they were already so enraged and there was really no pulling back. I think most people just were reacting to that still because that's still shot is damaging.
It is, and it's just not the time to be making even like even the the perception of any sort of like racism or perception of colorism. It's just people are just really, we're just all sensitive to it right now. But I don't know I'm given Dove a pass, can I be, because like Dove does so much for I don't know. I think they were one of the earliest brands to like have different skin colors, different ages, and
they're at they try. It's not like I think it was even I think it wasn't as dramatic, quite as dramatic as like that shame moisture controversy a couple of months ago. That's just my I'm playing Devil's Advocate. Send me your hate mail, Brandon Bish.
I know I was gonna say. I know people are gonna be like, what like I said, I'm not saying, and man, it's not saying that that it was well executed or whatever, and not to say that, you know, there's not a history obviously. Like I mean, if you look at some old old Dove advertisements, like there literally is like a little brown baby getting into like Dove soap and coming out quote unquote clean and white.
Yes, yes, but seeing that, Okay, maybe I need to brush up on my Dove commercial.
So there's definitely that. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that, like I think that a lot of the backlash is mostly the screenshot, not necessarily the whole commercial, and that it's not well executed. And this is what happened. It's kind of like my brown break today, but it's not well executed. And because to me, there's not enough there's not enough people in decision making like rooms to say, hey, yeah, that's not really gonna fly.
Yeah, apparently I shouldn't be in marketing.
Yeah, I'd be like, yeah.
It's great, Well what yeah an other did you read it? How do you feel? Since we're going to be on these controversy topics. So, and this is also related to like I think, being a person, like being at work and all the things happening in our country right now, the xenophobia, the racism, the Black Lives matter, the police brutality,
the NFL protest whatever. All these subject matters are very delicate subjects to broach in the workplace, and I think we're all seeing the worst of this from Jamille Hill at ESPN, who has just fired for her tweets speaking out against the Dallas Cowboys owner for his disrespect quote unquote of players who have been taking the knee and
protests of black Lives matter. So she was fired. Remember this is the same like as ESPN anchor who Trump himself or the Trump White House, I think, came out saying that she should be fired when she criticized him, called them a white suppersist on air.
The lot I mean, I personally, I mean, if the truth is the truth, call it the truth, you know. And I knew that they were because I saw, like, you know that, and I knew when I saw, like, you know, the story about her tweet, I said, yeah, they're gonna let her go because honestly, not because it's right, because it's so easy to dispose of brown women like who's fighting for you that has any position of power? You know, who's the woman above you that says no,
not today, you know. And so it's just such a shame, you know, but I'm just so glad that more and more people are willing to speak out despite the consequences, you know, because it's almost like after a while, it's like you can't fire everyone, you can't let go of everyone, you can't dise everyone. You know.
Yeah, Well, what she was saying is, you know, if you just if you don't agree with what the Dallas Cowboys founder has done or the owner, then you should boycott, boycott their advertisers or whatnot. I don't know, it's it's I understand, and like, you know, being a journalist, I don't cover like politics, you know, she's in sports. There is like this and there. It's been completely blurred. But
this expectation to be completely unbiased. And I think it's really hard when you're when you're a journalist because we're human beings and I think we all have to be careful in our in our jobs. Just what you say on your Twitter feed and on Facebook is can get you fired. Like yeah, and it's just it's up to
the companies. You know, they gave her I think a little that they gave her a pass for the first transgression and she apologized, and I guess the second time it was it was too much, But I think about that. I I definitely it. I censor the hell out of myself. I don't even tweet hardly anymore because I'm too afraid of what I might say, because there's just too much I want to say. And I when I put things on Facebook, I definitely have my filter for friends only
except for acquaintances. And acquaintances are like all of my work colleagues and relatives and whoever, you know, because I'm just I'm trying to be over over protective of my own voice so that I don't get myself into trouble.
No, and I think that too, honestly. I mean, I do censor myself, like if it's straight like budget Niste, the stuff like you're not gonna see me really talk about like politics and stuff on like the budget he's on Facebook, or the budget he's on Instagram. Unless I mean, every once in a while, on like Instagram, I'm like, you know, I will say I'll share something, but like my personal page, I'm a lot less, you know, I'm
a lot more free to share. And even then it's still I share my opinion, but in a in a more in a careful way, knowing that it's still I'm still even though it's Tiffany, you know, there's still my brand and my business that's attached to it. But it doesn't mean I won't share my displeasure. I will. I'll say, you know, this is unfair, this is not right, and this is you know, like I you know, but I might not share as much on the budget nis the page,
at least not in that way, you know. But then sometimes I'm overwhelmed and I'm like, I don't care, this is terrible, you know. And so but even then I'm still mindful of like how like you're not going to see me, curse that that's just not me anyway. But I mean, you know you're not going to see me, curse, You're not going to see me, you know, which harm
upon anyone. You're not going to see that. You know you're going to see And just know that if I do share something, I thought about it and I looked at it and I read it and I read it again, you know, because I but I just feel like I have to say something, you know. So it's hard because you know, these days you have to think to yourself, ten years, twenty years from now, you know, what is
it that I'd like for people to see? And so and everyone's I mean, I know there are some people who their ministry, you know, for lack of a better word, is to disrupt in that way, meaning that they are here to be the megaphone and say no, no, no, politics, religion, all of that stuff. I say it, and that's their ministry. That's that's the way that they make the world better.
And I commend that and I'm happy for that. But I know for me that one of the things that my disruption is to say, you go out there and you shine a light person, and I will support you. But what I do is I try to take women, especially women of color, and say, okay, girl, at the end of the day, if you don't have no money, you don't have no power. So let's get your credit together,
Let's get you this house, let's get you saving. Let's so that's what I actively, that's my activism, is that like, if I can teach brown women how to not only stabilize their finances but to grow and excel, that is where I'm like, that's what I'm working on. You know. So sometimes people will be like, go, Tiffy, are you gonna comment on that, and I might, but honestly, I
really that's what I that's my overarching goal. Like I'm not teaching financial education because it's not random, it's very calculated to cultivate a group of Brown women who are not only just financially secure and stable, but who are killing it out there. So that way, you know, when you know, when the time comes for you to ask for a raise, you know, there's a brown girl sister sitting behind the big desk. When the time comes for
you to borrow money, it's a sister sitting there. It's what you know what I mean, Like that's really important to me, And yeah, that's really important to me. So like that's kind of my way of giving back. Yeah. See, yes, it's a perfect segue of breaking and boosting, and I think I wanna I want to boost the brown women who are in those positions. Honestly, every single major contract that have gotten except for one, has been because a
brown woman was in that room fighting for me. Like I think of like the major brands that I work with, like a Ford or or even like some of the TV shows that I'm on now and stuff like and I finally get to the space. There's a sister there who pulls me to the side and says, girl, I've
been telling them about you for three years. I've been putting together power points and presentations of this and this and this and that, and finally they said, well, we'll open the door just a little bit and Tiffany, you come in and when you smash it, I look at them like I told you, and you know, and I just wish that. That's why it's so important for us to be in those spaces, because I so much of what I do I would not be able to do without these women who I don't even know advocating for me,
like they're my sister, cousin, mother, friend, you know. No, you know, I can't tell you how many women like literally like you know, it'd be something major. And I'm like, this was so great. How'd you find me? And they're like, oh, Calyssa told us, and I'm like, what's Calyssa? Jess was like girl me you know, or like no Tanya told us, or no Dreama told us, or what And almost without fail, that person will have told me that they've been working
on it for a number of years. Can you imagine ye, and I'm like really, They're like, girl, yes, they've been saying, oh, we want someone, we're looking for a finance expert or we're looking for this. I'm like, oh, what about Tiffy,
What about Tiffy Nana? And she was like, year after year, I bring you up, I pull up your numbers, I show them your growth, I show them you're and you know, finally you know, and then your job at my job is to kill it when I'm there and to over deliver, so that way they can say, see see I told you, And so that way it leaves the door open, so more more brown ambition folks can can come to the door. And I just want to give a brown boost to
those women who are in those spaces. Like when I work with Prudential, it was two brown women that pulled me in Prudential. Is I am not the target audience for like a Prudential. You know, it's very much an old boys club at Prudential for the most part. But these women pulled me in on small little assignments that said, Tiffany, just kill it, okay, then bigger assignments, Tiffany, just kill it.
And then it grew and before you know what prudential is working with more and more brown influencers and bloggers and stuff as relates to personal finance, and so I just, yeah, I cannot thank these women enough for one being where they are when there are not many of them, and being an advocate. Like I did an interview today and the woman on the phone, even though she wasn't a brown woman, she was a woman. She said, oh my god,
it was so nice talking to you. She said, they wanted me to do an interview, and they had all these lists and I was like, no, I refused to interview another white man about and I was rowling, and she list is the Jewish lady and she was so called. We had just a great conversation about kids, about everything, and so we were just talking in general. She was like, no, when I get the opportunity to write for publication, I'm always looking like, are there any people of color? Are
there any women like they know things too? And that's what you need, is that the more of us that can be in these spaces, the more of us we can pull in. And so yeah, I just want to give a brown boost to those women out there who are you know, not only like in these spaces, but are making it their business to pull other women in amen.
I endorse, endorse that message.
So what about you, miss Mandra Are you going to boost a break? Oh?
You know, you know me, let's keep things positive. I'm gonna do a boost day.
Should the shimmy with a twist? Oh? Got so?
My boost is speaking of putting women of color behind in the boardrooms, in the executive suites. I think behind the camera is important to case in point. This fabulous Chinese producer at Fusion put together this really exceptional video on the history of tipping, and I think those two things should are related. I don't think that many other producers would have cared to look into the history of
tipping if it weren't a minority woman. So I was really excited to see this video by this young producer. But I had no idea the history of tipping. I mean, I like to consider myself like well educated, but no one ever told me tipping goes all the way back to slave days or Jim Crow and like the history of of African Americans in this country, and like, did you see the video? I know I posted on Brand Ambition. If you get a chance to watch.
It, yet no, no, but I know you're talking about but I didn't school.
It's really good. So basically the concept of tipping. You know, obviously in Europe there is no tipping, like you just like pay whatever you pay. And in many countries, I don't know if I don't want to speak for every country, but like when you to leave the United States, I'm like, oh, this is so nice. No one has to tip it all. In our country, you know, waiters and weight staff get
paid like two dollars minimum wage. I think an hour is the federal minimum wage for weight staff, and they're supposed to make up the rest of their wages and tipping. Back in the day when tipping was made a policy, it was a way for employers to get away, to get away with not paying black workers, who were mostly in service jobs, any money at all. And tipping was seen as like something that you would do to someone
in someone you see is lower than you. Like it was it was seen as, oh, you wouldn't tip a white waiter, that's rude, you know they you only, but you would tip the black waiter because that is that's their station. It just it took a long time for it to be seen as and of course more more and more non minorities taking uh service jobs to be seen as okay, we actually need these tips tip well.
But even today, as the video points out, and I don't know why I've never considered this or thought about this either, but studies show that people of color, especially women of color, in service industries and waiting jobs, get tipped significantly less on average than than white weight staff. So yeah, I kind of lied. That was more of a break, but a boost for the video done by a great this Chinese producer, young woman named Isabelle, and a break for continued racism messing up our money.
You know, it's a like I try my best now to really tip, like I try to at least get you know, like the fifteen per se. I mean not, I don't try. I give at least a fifteen percent, and then, you know, I really try to tip well, like if you were, you know, a good waiter waitress, then I you know, I try to be like, oh, you know what, here's an extra because you know, you'd like to reward good behavior, but at the very least get your fifteen twenty percent, you know.
Yeah, yeah, I have that one friend who you go to dinner with and they don't tip. Ugh I did, and I stopped going to dinner with her.
Yeah, I was gonna say I stopped honestly, because I mean, even when if you don't have enough money to tip, then you don't have enough money to eat out, Like that's part of it. Like you have to pay for the service for someone to bring food to the table and bringing your water when you requested. All that kind of stuff costs that that tip is to pay for that. But I will say, sometimes it's kind of annoying, but
I get why people do it. Those Have you ever been to those restaurants where the tip is included?
They're they're becoming more of the norm in New York City, like a lot of but no, I haven't gone to one yet.
And so the only thing I don't like. I remember I went to a restaurant with like it was appairly maybe it was like five or six of us. So oftentimes if you have like a larger like over four or five, sometimes they'll include the tip in the bill.
But I'm like, tell me, I remember the first time it happened, and I was I didn't realize, so we were all paying and then I was like, okay, everybody your tips, and so we were all gathering additional money and then someone happened to look, They're like, wait, the tip is on here. We were gonna pay like an additional whatever, seventy bucks or whatever. And not to say we wouldn't have tipped a little extra, but we were gonna do the customary tip. I'm like, uh, that should
be clearly stated. So people are not double tipping, like I mean, it's one thing to tip somebody else, another thing to literally double their tip by like one hundred dollars, you know. Yeah, so yeah, that's the only thing. But yeah, no, I'm a good tipper. Now I have to say I'm not gonna lie. And I was not a great tipper.
I mean I was the bare minimum tipper, but I was not like a great like here's a little extra something, because I was like I have to take a my calculator and be like, okay, four dollars and thirty two sent let me give my thirty anybody got two pennies, Like that's I tip exactly exactly fifteen. And now I'm like, oh, ahead to keep this sixty seven dollars dollars for your troubles. You know, Yeah, I'm definitely a better tipper now I try.
You you tip what you can, but you gotta tip something, and don't don't be cheap. It's a couple of bucks. Like I don't know, it's a turnoff from you when people are like that cheap with their money. Then maybe don't order seamless if you don't want to pay two dollars for a tip. I don't know.
Yeah, exactly, and then exactly because I mean, like I said, tipping is part of the fact that, like you have to pay for service.
I mean, if you want to, if you want to be mad at somebody, be mad at our legislative or legislators who haven't changed the laws on and they're still allowing people to get paid dirt cheap money for you know, these minimum wage waiting wait waitressing and what do you call it waitering like wait something staffing jobs, because you know, they're allowed to pay two dollars and whatever as a minimum wage and then you have to make up the
money and tips. So if you want to, you know, piss somebody, if you want to yell at somebody, don't don't not tip the poor person who has to be stuck with this minimum wage. You know, send a letter to your congressman or woman. Make your voice heard exactly?
Is that?
I hope that friend is listening. She knows who she is.
You always have a good question, Yes we do.
We have a couple of good questions this week, and if you want to send your questions to us, you can go to Brown Ambition Podcast dot.
Com dot com.
And also if you just want to go straight to the source, you can email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com dot com. Thanks real quick, We have a question from someone who is having some issues with her secured credit card and needs our help. Oof ooh girl okay. Uh doesn't say if she wants to be anonymous or non, so will err on the side of just calling her Natalie. Okay. So, Natalie says, I opened a five hundred dollars secured credit card with Bank
of America. Since then, I've been a few days late in payments once or twice. I also I also carry high balances, but I pay the card three hundred to four hundred dollars at a time. The bank hasn't increased my credit limit or changed the card to an unsecured card. Should I wait for the bank, or should I try and increase my own credit by depositing more money onto the secured card? Or should I just pay off this
card and stop using it. What's the best action I can take to increase the limit of my card and switch it over to an unsecured credit card?
Ooh ooh chat when you said you would lay a couple of times, I said.
Whooh, the danger zone. This is like it is like, this is like the person who's like, so, I saw this pill on doctor Oz and it saysn't gonna lose fifty pounds. Uh no, don't. Oh, I'm like afraid, you know, you don't wanna know. Yeah, this is danger zone. So from the sound of your question, I'm I'm hearing that you're not quite prepared, perhaps for a unsecured credit card, right, is that what you're hearing?
I you know, the fact that she will pay three hundred to four hundred dollars love some lets me know that it's not that she's not ready for it, but she's probably going about it the wrong way, because if she were to say, honestly, I've got this, I've got the lit I've got you know, I'm at three or four hundred dollars I used on the card, and I just can't seem to get ahead. But the fact that she's able to pay those love sums like that lets
me know, Okay, there's money in play. She does have enough, you know what I mean.
Yeah, that's so that's good. Yeah, for people who don't know what a secured card is and how it works. So the general idea with the secured card is you put down a deposit. It's like five hundred dollars. So the bank takes your money and says, thank you. Now we're going to give you a line of credit quote unquote, and you're going to use the money you gave us as collateral. So if you don't make your payments, we
just keep this money and go about our business. But if you make payments on time to yourself almost at the end of twelve months or however long it is, we will give you back your deposit and give you the chance in some cases to upgrade to a regular credit card unsecured credit card. And all that means is that you don't put any money down. They just give you the money to borrow without requiring collateral. Yeah, I don't call it.
I call it like a credit card with training wheel. That's what I call it. Secure cards.
Yeah, that sounds about it, and it's a good way to build credit. The best way to the best way to use it, obviously is to make all your payments on time. I hope that these late payments did it hurt her credit? You bad? But she's wondering if she should because clearly she is her limit is too small
for her. She wants a card with the higher limit, and she wants to know she should keep waiting for the bank to increase her limit because it's been over a year, she says, or should she just drop this card, close it and apply for a regular credit card somewhere else.
So here's the thing. This is what I suggest, like, this is what's going to make a bank make your secured cards. So I'll give you example. Superman had a secured card with our bank when I met him. He had it for maybe, like I don't know, maybe like eight months or whatever, but it was almost maxed out and he was making small payments a month, and I was like why, and he thought that's what he was supposed to do, until I was like, well, just paid
off and so he did. A few months later, his credit score really jumped up, and so I had him put small charges on the card a month and paid off in full every month. And by the time the end of the year hit they doubled his limits. It was five hundred and it was now a thousand or something like that. Yeah, nine hundred and twenty thousand. Gave him back his deposit and took the secured part off the card and become an unsecured regular card. So a bank, your bank is looking to see, One, do you make
on time payments? That's that's the bare minimum if you want them to make it a regular card. Two, if you really want to increase the likelihood of them making their regular card, keep your limit under thirty percent, ideally paying it off every month. So I don't know if this is your only card, but you know, if you can keep if it's a it's a five hundred dollars card, you really never want to have a balance over one hundred and fifty dollars and ideally pay it off in
full every month. Is it possible, are you like really using using this card? Is it possible just to put a small charge like your Netflix account or something on this card and pay it off every month. If you do that for the next few months, then you can approach them and say, hey, you know, I've been really good with the card. I paid off in full. You know when you know when when will like the secured cart be able to be taken off, because you can call an ask. You know, typically after a year of
proper usage, they take it off. But because you've missed a couple or you were late a few times, so they're still probably keeping their eye on you. So that's what I would suggest, is that. And so what I would do, and this is what I did for Superman is I had him automate. So if I were you,
so you don't miss payments anymore. If you're able to pay a three or four hundred dollars lump sum on the secured card, why not on the day that your your your balance is due, that you automate a smaller payment so you never are late, meaning like let's just say your minimum amount is twenty five or thirty five dollars, automate the typical minimum amount so that way you know, at least I'm not late, even if they didn't pay it off in full at least I'm not late, and
then when you get your lump sum, get your lump sum and paid off every month. That's what I'll do, at the very least to start to get the process going in your favor.
I agree, I don't know that it's a good idea until I don't know that it's a good idea to run and open a different credit card, although it's possible that she might get approved for a different credit card if her credit's improved from the secured card. Behavior do you feel like when secure cards upgrade you to another the unsecured credit card to like a regular credit card? Is it often a good deal? Like are you getting are you getting a card with good terms or any like?
Are there fees? Usually? Like what is what's like a step up credit card? Do you know anything about that?
Well, I mean, I could just tell I could just tell you from the experience of Superman that there was no additional fee. His interest rate was decent. It was kind of an alignment with his score, which was okay at the time. It was like maybe like low seven hundred ish, And I forget what his interest rate was, but I remember comparing it to kind of my interest rate and it was decent, and so it's more so like even if that's not your usable card. So for example,
I have credit card. I have a credit card that I've had forever that I'm not going to close because it helps me with my length of credit history. My interest rate is not great, so the only thing that goes on that card is my Netflix. And then I have another credit card that the interest rate is great,
and so that's the card that I use. So you might have your secured card upgrades itself and that's just the kind of the card that you use, like to just like prove that you can make a payment every month and pay off something every month and then your credit is strong enough for you to really apply and get qualified for a card with a much better interest rate.
So sometimes cards can have different usage. So for me some you know, like one of my cards is it's not really to use, it's just to prove, Hey, Timpany's good with cards. She pays it off every month even
though it's just one small charge. So that's what I would I would look into, because you don't necessarily if your credit is already taking a hit, I don't know that I want you to get an inquiry for applying, because every time you apply for credit, whether you get it or not, you get a little ding on your
credit score that brings down your score. You know, a few It could be a few points, and it could be a number of points, double digit points, depending And so I'd rather you massage this card and get upgraded without the inquiry, and go and apply for another card that you may or not even get and then get that ding.
We have a related question, and I think it highlights one of the highlights sort of the importance of shopping around even for the best secured card offers, because secured cards are an awesome tool to build and improve your credit. But some of them have fees. Like I didn't realize this, some of them charge monthly fees. We got a question from listener Opal a couple of weeks ago, and she said,
I recently paid off a couple of credit cards. I feel really liberated, and I was going I was going through them to be sure that all of them had a zero balance, but I noticed one card charge is a fee of four dollars a month, and I charged a four dollar fee even though I had a zero balance. I had to email a couple more times with her
to get to the bottom of it. It is a secured card that she has, So the question is should I just close out the secured card account or leave it open and keep paying this four dollars fee on the side.
If she has other cards, then I would close it. I ended up closing mind. So I had I got a secured card for my business because it's similar. They were like, I applied for a regular card. They were like, uh, you tried it, girl. You don't even have any type of credit history, and so they were like, but you could get a secured card to kind of build your business credit history. So I did, and there was a feat.
It wasn't it wasn't monthly, but it was yearly. And I didn't realize that because like it charged and it wasn't a little bit. It was like, I don't know, maybe like fifty or sixty bucks or something. And so I realized, yeah, once I was able to get the I was able to get so for whatever reason, the business account didn't automatically upgrade to a regular card. I had to apply for a whole separate regular card at
that my same bank. So I got it, and so I closed the other car, because I'm like, well, why am I going to pay the sixty bucks a month or whatever? It was a year when I have my regular card at this bank now, So I if it was the only card I had, I would maybe wait apply for a regular card, so you know, you can keep your established credit history, or you can start to
build credit history with that card. But I would close it because if your credit score is good enough for a regular card, that you That's really the purpose to me of a secured card is to build your credit history and credit score. So if it's good enough for a regular card, you no longer really need it, especially if it's charging you monthly. You know.
Yeah, all right, we're ready for some wins.
Wind you go first.
I'm going to do a win for my Chase Reserve card, which is still serving me life two years sent Wait, how long has it been? I feel like you, Yeah, it was this time last year. I think I got my Reserve card paid for the honeymoon trip all the well, not the airfare and some other things, but not actually the hotels, but for like a good chunk of the honeymoon.
I've been milking this card all year long, and I still have points that we're going to dr like I said, and book the I found a better on my hotel through Chase Ultimate Rewards than I did online, like even on which was I think I got like twenty dollars off per night, and then I booked my airfare through them, and I'm just the happiest customer. I think it's the one like like we said, like there's a four hundred and fifty dollars annual fee, but if you can manage it,
I think it's totally worth it. Because even even after I went through that bonus, you know, everyone said, yeah, you know with the one hundred thousand point bonus, of course you want to get it. But I think if you travel a lot and eat out a lot even without, that's that crazy high sign on bonus. I think they they downgraded it to like what fifty or forty thousand.
Yeah, something like that. But like, yeah, I got that finding both literally like the day before because you were like, don't wait.
Don't wait, because they snatched it. They snashed it out real quick. They lost so much money on that. But anyway, shout out to finding the credit card that has the keys to my heart and just matches me very well, and yeah, I think if you even if you travel, even if you miss the initial crazy high bonus, but if you travel a ton for work or for whatever
and you're like eating out, I still think it. I still think it makes a lot of sense because they give you that three hundred dollars travel credit every year, and then they give you three points back on like dining and travel and you get like TSA pre check and Global entry and all that kind of like other perks. So yeah, I'm a stand I wonder.
For the travel credit, like if you don't use it, do you lose it?
Well, you don't have a choice. They just put it. They just give it to you.
Okay, Cassine, it look, I just saw it this year and I was just thinking to myself, I didn't use it this year yet, and so I'm just like looking at you.
Oh no, I see what you mean. Oh, actually, I don't know. I was just yeah, yeah, yeah, I said that because I had I happened to book a flight the same day that the travel credit was applied, and I was like, oh, they just did that so quick.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna yeah, well we'll see. So yeah, no, because I did see it on there. I was like, oh, there's money on here.
If you don't spend at least three hundredllar on travel, you probably shouldn't have the card in the first place, because.
So is that? Is that what it does? A cult? No, I use it like all the time, And I'm like, I'm sure I do, because I use it whenever I book flights and stuff. But I saw it recently on there and I'm like, wait, how do I have to apply this?
Well, you don't do the applying, like, it just tells so whenever you So let's say, you know the clock restarts on your travel credit, then you spend twenty dollars on Uber, you spend the twenty dollars, and then you'll see on your statement it'll be like negative for dollars.
Okay, yeah, okay, I was gonna say, I was gonna say, how did that work? Because yes, I see, because yeah, no, that's the card. I've linked to everything, and now I'm super excited because I've actually linked it. So I do a lot of Facebook marketing and I spend like quite a bit amount of money, and so I realized, wait, I'm missing out on some money, So I'm gonna link that card to my Facebook marketing account, so that way I can just be earn and earn and earning, uh
points on top of points. Because I told Superman, I'm like the way this house is looking because i really want a dope house, so I'm willing to spend a little extra. I was like, we won't be able to go on, you know, a nice vacation in a little while, but maybe we can earn a nice vacation. So that's what really.
Yeah, it also helps traveling and hurricane season. Not gonna lie.
Oh that's because it does it. Does it have automatic insurance?
Uh my? Oh yeah, the Chase card does have has really good travelers insurance.
Yeah.
I think if there were a weather related thing, I think i'd be covered. But luckily, knock on wood things you're looking good for us, So I'm excited. You're welcome Chase for free advertising.
Yes, exactly right, somebody from Chase Carlos because I'm not I'm not gonna lie, I'm not really a huge Chase fan, only because you know, you guys took my house. But no, you know, nor feelings whatever.
You're not alone, I know.
Well, I mean, other than that, your card is pretty dope. My win is Marley Diaz. You remember Marley Daz. She started that movement a thousand Black girl books. Oh yeah, yes, so, like I know her mom. They all live in like Jersey, and her mom has this awesome nonprofit called oh I forget the name of her nonprofit, which of course yes I know, and it's like really dope because I used to volunteer for it. And so every year it's like a summer camp for a like empowering young young brown girl.
So her mom, Janice is awesome, and you know how people have like their fifteen minutes of fame. Yes, so well, her mom Janis is is a doctor, like a PhD and super smart. And her mom is her father because I can't even you know, let him out. I just don't know him personally. But they've done such an awesome job with like really making sure that like Marley is everywhere.
She spoke at like a Forbes summit. She I mean, she's amazing, like as it is like you know, like if you speak to her and meet her, but you know, sometimes things happen and it's just kind of like, oh, you know, there's a flash in the pan, and that was so great No, she is still growing so strong, I mean so strong. She just wrote a book. Averra Duvenet did the forward to it. Yeah, she's interviewing one of my publicists, Drina her client who her name is
Patrice's Color. She is the co founder of Black Lives Matter. She's just like, I see this here. She's only twelve, and so I think the movement started a year two ago. So just imagine the ten eleven year old just like and I just love the fact that her mom is so supportive, Like, you know, she told her mom, Hey, there's not enough brown girl books, you know, and her mom's like, what are you gonna do about it? And she said, let's collect some and they did. And just
to see, like how it's evolved. And I think, was it I forget it? Was it? Teen Voger one of these magazines is like helping her start a magazine to encourage other young girls. I mean, just Marlee is just amazing.
She's living Mandy Woodrof's twelve year old dream. Marley.
Yes, she just spoke at the Girl Scout convention and smashing it.
Oh my god. I would have been so jealous of her if I were twelve.
Yeah, I just Meanwhile, at twelve, I was still like, which Barbie? I mean, I don't play with Barbies, but kinda I do. I mean what at twelve, I was like, I don't even know what I was doing. At twelve, I was still trying to figure out like what braids to.
Get, like, you know, not the beanie babies.
By twelve, I knew I wasn't doing anything like this. And I'm just really proud of her because she's just dope, like self aware, self possessed, just you know, just an all around awesome young woman with awesome parents. And I'm just really proud of her. Like she just popped up in my feed and I just said, she truly is Brown ambition at its finest. So Marlee, Marlee, And I'm gonna ask your mom, you know, should I be blessed with a brown baby? So are you teaching her how
to raise an awesome brown girl lessons? Because I'll take those lessons for her. Every parent I know with kids that are like amazed, you know, and not like amazing and like I push my kid, I'm a soccer I'm a helicopter mom. I push my kids kind of way just amazing in this like Hey, your kid is well adjusted, happy, smart, you know that kind of thing. I'm asking all of them, like,
so what's your secret? Because you know, if I have a little Bambini or Bambino, I want them to be happy and you know, but I also want them to get trading. He's like, no, honestly, that doesn't it doesn't matter to me as much as them being happy. And I'm like figuring out like what their gift is and living that truth.
I think they'll already have a leg up. You never know, kids, kids could be only their fault if they don't shine.
I see some kids and I'm like, who are your parents?
You know, I know, well eighteen long years. You know, you could be killing it the first five and really mess up the middle ones and they'll still try.
No, all right, you know okay, ooh, I just just wrote me. This is just a little something to end on. There's this like psychic lady, this brown psychic woman that I follow, although I'm not really sure you know how much I believe in life, but I don't know. I just feel like anything's prosible. Okay, So she wrote me like a nice little message. You know, I'm probably not supposed to share, but you know, I'm an overshare. She was like, she's sending me. She's like, I have a
psychic message about pregnancy heading your way late December. You need a ton of rest less travel. I'm like, damn it, feet up until the sixth of the month. I'm like, turn it. I'm like, I'm supposed to go to Australia. Cut the stress, even good stress. Oh I hope the little one arrives. Wow. And she said he pay close
attention to your body. So you know, me and Superman are trying, like you know, like I actually have a you know her, I do well kind of like like a lot of my friends like get readings and stuff with her. And they was like you should, you should, and when she because she does lives and like so I watch her lives sometimes and I'll ask a question or whatever, so like not like you know, like we've met, but like social media I met, like so we're cool enough. So she you know, so when she wrote that, I
was like, cause we're trying. Honestly, I actually have an appointment with like doctor h in a couple of weeks and then too because I'm thirty eight, well not yet in a couple of days. But because I'll be thirty eight, like you know, like also looking at like a fertility like doctor to like really talk about that.
You know, you know you're more likely to have twins the older you wait, I know.
You're as Superman is already a twin.
Oh, I know. I think it's over. Oh I want you to have twins.
Oh that's why he's ginormous. They like broken mother in half him and his twin brother. I'm like, I can't die and.
It's all kind of technology. Now you'll be fine.
Oh my god, I think his daughter was like thirteen pounds something like insane. Stop she when he showed me her newborn, her newborn picture, she looks like a one year old. I was like, how come you don't have any pictures of Supergirl as a newborn. He's like that is. I'm like no, no, like when she was like born born. He's like that is. I'm like no, I mean, yo, this this this baby, I swear Mandy. She looks a full six to eight months and I'm like, this is
how she came out of the wall. Me mean, while her mother is like, it's like my side. She's not big, she's little petite. They're like yeah. He was like yeah, it was a lie for her. I was like, oh my god, I don't know if I'm ready. Oh, child, be careful when you choose ladies. If you get a big one, you never know.
Yah.
On that note, you never know. Let's be on baby watch. Send me your good baby vibes, all that kind of stuff. I'm open about it. I'm like, I want to have a baby.
Do some go, do some what you call it with the needles on your face. Oh, I'm sure not that much, not that much.
I'm skidding.
I mean, I just read your horoscope for Leo Libra. I think you'll be okay in that department. Everything else is let go like god, okay, but the magic of the ovaries.
Right now, Jerome's like, I am out, I'm out, I'm out. All right on that note, y'all, it was awesome as usual? Was it?
When I said Overi's was that it.
It's like, tap it out, tap it out. We should give like we should give like a little like well, we never know sometimes if we're going to go left. Sorry Jerome, next time, I.
Don't need Jerome hanging over us making us apologize to saying overy's Jerome is here. Jerome can stay if he would like to stay. If Jerome leaves, because we say overies, he doesn't deserve us. That is the true.
Sure. Oh see this is where I have you around, Leo. See that's what the Libra needs.