Hey, hey, hey, you know what we never talked about. Have you listened to four forty four?
Oh oh jay Z's album?
Yeah, I haven't.
You know, it's weird. I have listened to it, but I read. I read the lyrics like I was reading someone's like poetry or something, because everyone because why does one of the dirt? You know, I went to go see what he had to say, just see what he had to say about salone, and like if he was gonna mention Lebonade or anything like that. So I read for the dirt, not gonna lie.
So what what was your take on the Dirt? Well?
I actually liked I you know, I'm not going to pretend like I know every one of jay Z's albums and songs, but I've been a fan. I like his music. But what I what I liked is how I didn't forget what the name of the song. I think it was four four four, where he's basically saying like rip jay Z, and I feel like he's saying goodbye to the jay Z of old and accepting the new different, older father husband jay Z. And I think that that's it's.
I mean, hip hop is so young, like as a genre and you know these are He's one of the first rappers that really has gotten old and we've gotten to see him, see him become this version of himself. And you know, everyone else is like twenty two and like thirty, and people who were big in the eighties aren't really making that much music anymore. But I feel like he's showing you how to how to grow up gracefully. I guess in hip hop a little.
Yeah, he talk a little about credit.
I was like, oh snah, I did. I got a no.
I said, look at you talking about what do you say? You know what's more? You know what's better than spending money at strip clubs? Credit? I said, look at jay Z. He said, I'm trying to give you something to the fact that I'm trying to give you a million dollar knowledge for nine ninety nine, I'm like, look at jay Z, don't try to come with the finn Con crowd. No.
Literally, I must have gotten five pitches from our writers. I'm telling you there aren't that many personal finance writers or colors, but the ones that were out there were pitching jay Z stories like the past few weeks financial
lessons you could learn from jay Z's for four to four. Yeah, so jay Z's like I mean, I mean, I don't know if he's written a book on entrepreneurship, but he should because I mean, I think most of his wealth came from his business skills and not his music, right from his music label to his to all the business
deals he has to title. Like, I mean, that's one lesson you can take from him, is how to diversify your own business so that you're bringing in mad income streams and you're not like you're not tied to any label for your for your wealth.
Yeah. Yeah, honestly, I'm really I like the album. I mean I listened to it and I was just like, you know what I like too is that he also had like these things called notes, and I haven't watched them yet, but basically like kind of like commentary videos that that mirror that go along with some of the songs, So really like talking about some of the songs and what they meant and not just him but other like one of them, the song four forty four, I guess
it's like his apology to Beyonce, and he does this video with like Chris Rock, Jesse Williams, all these black men of note and kind of talking about love and relationships, and I said, I'm gonna watch it today, but I heard it was like really good because you know, I feel like, you know, I'm realizing I feel like we don't really hear from black men when it comes to
this whole relationship. You know, there's always these think pieces on black men and women black men, but I feel like I don't really hear too much from black men themselves. So I'm excited to listen to it.
Okay, I might watch that. I didn't know that he did that too. Do you have to have be a One reason I didn't listen is because I don't have title.
Yeah, me either, But you know there's ways around that. I mean, don't judge me. But somebody's I use someone's tie though, We'll just say that. Yeah. No. I somebody had it on Facebook the forty four, like I don't know what, you know, if it was a lot or what it, but it was just posted on Facebook, and I was like, oh, let me save this, and I Facebook message it to myself so I can watch it tonight because it just looked interesting. I was just curious to hear what these men had to say without women
in the room. About relationships and how they felt about them.
You know, yeah, I know, speaking of pop culture. I'm home, maybe not speaking of pop culture. But so this weekend we went down to DC. We had a wedding in South Jery's, you know, and then we also my brother in law's girlfriend got us tickets or got tickets to the African American History and Culture Museum that's in DC, which is really really hard. I mean, tickets are free because it's part of the Smithsonian, but they're really hard
to get. They sell out really fast. So I've had this on my calendar for months and we finally went down there, and first all, we didn't even finish half the museum. It is so big, It is so packed with things to read, to see, and you really want to take your time. I spent. It's basically the way the museum. I mean, it was incredible, but it was it split up into like an upper level and then
a lower level. So you start down, you go down to like three levels below underground, and this is where it starts at the beginning of slavery, and it goes through the fourteen hundreds all the way to two thousand and eight. That's a lot of history. I spent three and a half hours just going through those bottom three levels. And the emotional like people were crying, they were I mean, it wasn't like, I don't want to make it seem dramatic.
People weren't like boohooing like church crying, but I mean it was. It was very somber because you're I was learning a lot that I didn't know about slavery in the first place. And then and then you're having your own experience and you can't help but see the like the six year old little girl who's with her mom and she's like, Mommy, I feel like crying, and the mom's like, I feel like crying too. And the little girl said, mommy, was Grandma was Grandma's slave. Was Grandma here?
And she's like pointing to this was in the section of like the eighteen hundreds, was Grandma here? And you know, I found myself listening. It was fascinating to like listen to how parents were reacting to their kids and like how kids were reacting to it. You know, some kids didn't care, some kids are like running around, but it
was just really it was just really intense. It was just it's like you're walking around with your heart being squeezed at the same time, and you're seeing the shackles for small children and the shackles that were used for adults, and there was like, I've never seen a real whip that was used on plantations. And then they have I mean it, yeah, it was a is a experience and it was heavy at the end of it. Actually, once you go through and you're out of the third level,
they have this contemplative fountain, which is really beautiful. It's a fountain and you can sit there and it's just meant to be a place where you can sort of like put Actually, the docent or the woman who they take you down an elevator at the beginning. You go down three levels and they have a docent in the elevator kind of preparing you for what you're about to go through, and they tell you at that point at the beginning, you know, at the end, go to the fountain.
Put some peace back in your heart before you continue, because you read.
That you need oh wow, I love that.
You need a hug, you need something. And I felt like, I mean I spent three and a half hours. I've never spent I haven't spent that much time in a museum. I can't even tell you how long. And that was just half of it. And then you finish, you get through like the history part, and then the top four levels of the museum. When you get back to the
ground level. They have a modern art level. They have an amazing pop culture level where you go through the history of music and music and African American culture's influence and all the different genres of music and media and entertainment. And I don't even know the other two levels are because at that point I was just so I was so rotten. I was so like emotionally drained and physically tired from doing the bottom levels that I said, We're just going to have to come back later. I couldn't
do the rest, and we didn't. We Unfortunately, you could probably do it in a whole day if you take a break, like go to They have a nice cafe there, and I was like, if you if we would have had time to go to the cafe for like an hour and re re energize, I could have done the rest of it, but we just didn't have enough time.
But that is one amazing place I have to go. Yeah, you learn, and I just I just you know, I posted on I know some of our listeners had seen my post on Instagram where I've been reading this book as part of my Mandy book club of one called UH call Homegoing by Uh. Her last name is Gia.
She's Gunny and writer Yagiyasi g Ya Si and this book Homegoing, it it was a perfect book to read before you go to that museum because it's historical fiction and she sets it on the coast, on the Gold Coast, Western Africa and Ghana, and she takes you through the
history of slavery, but through fictional characters experiences. So you start with two women born at this born in Ghana, one is sold into slavery, one marries a British officer, and then you learned you every chapter is one of their descendants, going all the way up until modern day. And it is like, this book is so good. It's so good, and I learned a lot about slavery that I didn't know. And in like the history, I mean, it just shows you the ripple effects and how long
they've lasted. I mean it's been centuries and how we're still being people today are still impacted by what happened four hundred or six hundred years ago, the beginning of slavery in Europe. And how and how not just America, but all of Europe, all the great nations of Europe have the bat have slaves to thank for their growth during this time, for all, for their economic growth, for
their wealth. Here's you know, I learned that. I didn't know that Christopher Columbus lands it in what is now Dominican republican Haiti and basically brought so much disease that all the indigenous people died, and he replaced them with slaves. And that's why there's so much African heritage. I didn't know that. Like I learned all that from the museum. I didn't know Portugal was like really the country that started the slave trade and was responsible for bringing more
slaves than even the US from Africa. Like it's just so's it's just not what it's not. It's everything you didn't learn in high school, you know, and everything you weren't mature enough to understand in high school. It's everything. And don't worry. They have an Oprah exhibit and they have a the last I'll tell you what. Like when you said you need like you need you need like a little bit of release. After that, toward the end of it, when you finally got to Obama and Oprah,
people were swarming those exhibits. It was like everyone just needed like okay and we kind of like have a bit of you know, yeah, I don't know why Oprah got such a huge when you if you go, you'll see it's like Martin Luther King Junior's exhibit was really really tiny, which was kind of surprising. But then Oprah, it's like the entire set. They recreated the set, and to be fair, she did like finance half the museum or something like that.
She's like, yeah, you will, you will get me my.
F she she they had the dress from her last show. It was it was funny, and they had Michelle Obama's dress from a the night that Obama was was first elected. It's a anyway, I can go on and on, but definitely definitely add it to your to do list if you you ever, you know, go to DC.
Speaking of adding things to your to do list, this is a random but I went to the doctor today. Everybody should go. I mean, you guys probably go. I'm the worst. I'm not even gonna lie I am the absolute worst with going to the doctor. And I don't know why. I just even when I was there, I was trying to figure out how I could leave. So I went to for real, I was like, oh wait, because my my appointment was at eleven thirty and I didn't get there till eleven forty five. I said, oh,
I'm kind of late. Anyway, maybe I should just's Tiffany Kitchin And then it was like maybe like five people in the waiting room. I said, Oh, it's going to be a while. I'm like, cause you have something to do after this, you doun't And I was like, oh God to the guy now, And so is.
This just a check up or was it like a physical?
Well, I want to when men want to have a super well, we want to have a super baby. So I was like, oh, I have to make sure that, Like I mean, I've had like I'm going to the regular doctor. That's like, oh, that's pretty easy. You know, I've done that. You know, I get my yearly physicals. But the guy in know, for some reason, I don't know if it's just the weirdness of hey, there's my vagina. You're looking in there, you know, if that's why, you know. But so I went and I found out that I
have five boyds. I did not know, like even though it's probably the only thing, and I don't want to say it runs in my family, but I'm not the only one in my family. So but we're like, we don't there's no there's no history of like asthma or diabetes or whatever, you know, like when you check off the list, like there's none of that. Yeah, but five
ten seem to be like a semi reoccurring theme. I didn't know, and I always wondered why, Like you know, he said, didn't you wonder why he had this little like I always had a little pooch, nothing major, like if you see me, you might not even notice unless I was wearing like a like a really tight like shirt. And I always wondered, And I'm like, I just always thought, oh, I don't know, I got a little belly, you know. And know he was like that there are actually I
have three of them, and they're kind of large. For those of you. Let me let me pull out the definition because honest say, I wasn't fully clear on what fiboids were.
Yeah, no fibroid with an F for people like you thought you were saying thyroid when you first heard it.
Oh yeah, because that's my lists my bad guys.
No, no, no, it's just you know the interwebs.
So, fibroids are non cancerous tumors. I know you hear tumor eh that grow from the muscle layers of the womb. So that sounds scary. I'm like, yikes, is that what that is? So they can be the size of a bean, to be as large as a melons. And it said fiveboids affected about thirty percent of women. Wow, I didn't know that by the age of thirty five years old, and twenty to eighty percent by the age of fifty.
Oh okay. So basically, as you get older, the likelihood, you know, the likelihood of you getting fiboids grows, so typically you kind of know that you have because you get like really, this is how my other family member knew because she was getting really bad cramps. She had heavy, like heavy periods, and I sorry, Jerome, and you're like really yes, like sad period and so but I wasn't getting any of that, Like I have normal periods. I don't.
I get cramps, but nothing crazy, you know, I you know, I can usually opt in or out of taking like like an advil or whatever. So I didn't know because I wasn't exhibiting other than like this little belly that I just assumed, well, you know, that's my ice cream habit. I didn't know that that there was any especially for them to be that large. They're like, you don't get any discomfort. I'm like, my parents are normal. They're five days.
I don't, like I said, I don't get I might I cramp maybe the first day a little bit, and even then if it's not that bad, I don't take anything, and you know, I have a normal flow basically, So I'm like, uh so, now the decision is. The thing is with five boids is that you you can decide to get rid of them, but there's a risk, like if you want to have kids, you know, there's a risk of taking them out. And so this is what I have to decide, do I try to have kids anyway?
And but then if they're really large, because they grow like on the like uterus or whatever, they can actually they'll take up space where the baby would grow. So you run, you know, you run the risk of there literally not being enough space and then miscarriages and all the other kind of stuff. But then also too, you can have them remove, but then you also run the risk of something happening, and then you're not being able
to have kids. So I'm just trying to, like I have to, I want to meet with a number of The doctor that I met with today was like, oh, no, you gotta get rid of them, and.
I'm like, hold up, second opinion that.
Because I'm like, honestly, women have kids with fibroids, you know, like or yeah, so it's it's not And so I've had doctors say that too, So I want to I want to honestly speak with a woman doctor who this is her specialty, because I don't want to rush in and get something done and then I, you know, I take away the chance of me being able to have children,
you know, yeah, definitely. Yeah. So it's just something. So if you have five, honest say, I'm really interested because i know, especially in our community, the brown ambition community, fiveboys run a little bit higher for women of color, and I'm sure a large number of you are dealing with five boys. I've heard, I've read a lot about changing your diet and they can actually shrink them by changing your diet. A friend of mine, you know, she cut out all her sugar and she saw her shrinking.
How did they find them Is that during the physical exam, like with their hands they can feel it or did you have to get like a scan or something ultrasound?
Yeah, so he actually ordered a ultrasound for me so he could see better. But yeah, just like through the like digging all all in there. He was like, whoa.
First of all, you have a male guy. No kudos to you. I've never been able to deal with the male.
I was like, because, well it was recommended and I didn't even ask, Like I asked a friend of mine, who is that guy? Know? I need to give my life together? And she was like, oh, doctor whatever. I didn't even I didn't know it was a man. I'm not gonna lie. I was like, wait, who are you? Damn I met it before what And then and then he did like the breast exam. I'm like, what is happening? It was so weird. I was just looking up at the ceiling, like, ah, being molested.
But it was good, you know, but.
But yes, but it was good to just you know, get all of that done. And aside from that, you know,
he's like you're perfectly healthy, blah blah blah. But it definitely was like yike, So now I really that's why I said, I want an opinion from a woman, especially a woman doctor who deals with this on a regular basis, because I you know, he was just very quick to be like we gotta take care and got getting rid of him, and I'm like, hold up, like, I'm sure there are other there's other options, because I don't I'm
gonna eventually. The thing is, I know eventually I want to get rid of them, but before or after childbirth, that's the question, And so I really wanted to exploit it. So for those of you who are listening, like I said, I definitely have read a lot about changing diets and being able to reduce your five ways as a result
of that. If you're someone who knows anything about that, please tweet me at the Budgetista and just you know, if you have a link or anything, because I'm definitely like gathering as much information as possible so when I make my next appointment with a doctor that I could talk about what are my options? Superman. It's like we can always adopt I'm like, we could. I don't know.
I don't think you're I mean, you still have some you still haven't you don't know that this is going to like prevent you from you know, having kids, having kids.
But so I'm just like, yeah, it's just like as you get older, you start to realize wow, And it's so crazy because like my one of the reasons why I honestly I wasn't going to a doctor as much is because my insurance, like it lapsed. I didn't even realize because they were taking the money automatically out of my account and I wasn't keeping up. And then months later I was it was like, oh, you know, you haven't made a payment. Your insurance is canceled. I'm like,
I've made a payment. I don't make payment. You guys say the money and it was always something and then it's so it's weird. It lapsed right before I got married, so I was kind of like whatever. And so because I'm like I'm getting married, he's got Superman's got awesome insurance. I'll just be on his. But there's a thirty day period where I'm uninsured right now, you know. And so because from not having it to when when it like when it kicks in with him. And so I paid
out of pocket. So the guy know it was like one fifty cash. He was like yeah, cash, And so, you know, it had me thinking to myself, Wow, like what if you know, what if I didn't have insurance, Like what would I do? Like, what do you do now when you find out that you need the next step, next level you don't have insurance?
You know, Well, it's a good thing that we got the Republicans in office, because they're going to yanking away coverage for preventative female care any day now.
And I was thinking that, honestly, as I was in there, I was thinking that. I said, so, what happens if just regular Regulatiffany and I didn't you know, I didn't even realize my insurance flaps and it did, and I'm like, wait a minute, something's wrong. What do I do? Because when I was in college, plant parenthood was bay okay because I wasn't trying to tell my mother I was getting it in right, and so like take me to
the docker. So I used to go to plant Parenthood and you know, and like just to like make sure I was okay, that's where I went. I went there for if I wanted like a test, I went there for if something was wrong that I just I went there for all of my female like women issues and problems. And so I just can't imagine, you know what. And it was like I remember, I used to pay out
a pocket sometimes twenty five dollars. They would ask me, well, how much do you make When I was you know, when I was really really young, I paid nothing, and as I had made a little bit more, I might pay twenty five thirty dollars. And so it just you don't realize the importance of places like that, you know, until like you need them. And it's scary to think that young girls might not and not even just young girls, women in general might not have access to services like that.
And I think even if you have insurance like I have, I've always been fortunate enough to work for companies where I had insurance, or it was on my parents' healthcare in college and after, But even then I would have
insurance and I wouldn't take full advantage of it. And I think preventative care is so important, and we women tend, we tend to put ourselves a little bit last in the list when it comes to scheduling ourities, especially if you have kids, like I mean, my mom is proof of this, Like she would schedule all our appointments and then she wouldn't schedule hers, And that's you just can't. You have to add yourself to the priority list and
make sure that you're getting your checkups. My guy, know, was actually really good about she doesn't wait for me to make an appointment. She's like, oh, you're due, come, come, so I don't have to remember that. And you know, I should have been. I should have been going, but not just gynecology is important too, but just like your regular physical like finding a good doctor who will help you stay on top of that. I'm the kind of
person who I'm like, I don't really feel well. I don't want to go to the doctor on some weight. I don't want them to know that I put on weight. So I'm just gonna wait till I lose ten pounds and maybe And that's so stupid, it's so irrational, it is so dumb. I promised myself, I'm not gonna, you know, continue doing that, because I've got I just know my
family history and there's just too much. There's too much interesting stuff in my family for me to you know, feel like I can just go without going to the doctor. I don't want to get caught in a situation. I've waited too long.
When I when I had to step on the scale, I was already ready to apologize, like, so you know, I just got mad. And I was like, she'ven know utivity.
Yeah, I just got married. I had a big lunch today and.
I was like, didn't we take off my shoes?
Girl, I'm like, oh, this sweater's kind of heavy. I'll take this off too. I'm wearing a scarf, pull on. These earrings are my big earrings.
She was like, honey, just get on a scale. I was like me while I was wearing like flip flops. I was like, she's gonna be like I don't think that was gonna add any weight. And I was like, but surprisingly, I actually lost a little weight. I guess from like I don't know the stress of like the planning, the non wedding, but like I was like, die.
It ever.
And I was like, oh, that's good, Like, yeah, I probably lost like two pounds, but you know what that could just you know how that goes day to day. So but yeah, but ultimately, you know, the lesson for me was like, uh, you're you need to get regular. I mean, like I said, I go to my regular doctor and I get those. But you know, as far as my what I call my down there doctor, I've been slacking.
And make this the GUYO Visit episode where everyone, if you're listening, let's all like make a pack to call her Guyos today and make a make a physical appointment or something like that, or like a checkup if you haven't had it in a while.
YouTube term YouTube go, get go, get your Yeah, you got stuff. So now that we talked about vaginas and toothaches, it's time to break it. Boost brown break, brown boot. When I got a good brown break, I gotta read brown break. Okay, I'm running, all right. So my brown break? Did I talk about this last week when people were asking if I was pregnant?
I did you? You mentioned it to me, but we didn't talk about it. I wasn't recording.
My brown break is to not ask women unless they are in the delivery room and the baby is crowning if they're breaking yo. So so the way my dress was cut for my wedding, my non wedding. People were like, oh, like, we're literally just straight congratulating me. Oh my god, congratulations. I'm like, well, I'm thinking, oh, fakes on the wedding. No, no, not the wedding, the apparent baby. And I was like,
but I'm not gonna lie when I say. For whatever reason, on that day, I guess I don't know if it was nerves, like I was so bloated, my stomach was like I looked three months pregnant, like I as far as like without the dress. I was like, I didn't know what to do. I took mine all, I took my Atlanta. I guess it was just nerves. So I was like a ball of gas of like you know,
not passing gas, just tighte belly gas. And but people all like, not people who knew me obviously, but people like all over social media were like, oh my gosh, can't grat I'm the baby and the man. I'm like the baby what? And I thought thought, are they is this a joke? And then people started texting me and then Facebook messaging me and then writing under all my pictures like just guess you think she's pregnant. I'm like,
I can hear you. I can read. I can read like talking about me like I'm not there, and I was like wow. So finally I had to do a big, red bold Facebook message to say, I am not pregnant, please stop asking me because it's rude. It is rude. I wasn't pregnant. I was gassy and the dress was in a certain way. Then maybe if I wasn't gassy,
it wouldn't have looked pregnant. But I wasn't, and I just at first I thought it was funny, and then I got irritated because a number of people kept asking and I was like, dang, we not even cool like that.
I feel like I just saw Brandy post about this, So are You're basically having a celebrity problem? Because I feel like people lose touch with the reality when they feel like they know you, but you're a celebrity and they feel that they can talk about you. This happens people just like if you are, like have a certain public image or public presence, people feel like there's not a problem with them outwardly talking about your love life,
your body, whatever. Like I mean, Brandy just posted about this asking people to stop asking her if she was pregnant because she's just put on some happy weight.
Yeah, people, I mean ill, but I'm like it is rude, like like that's rude.
But I'm also sitting here like, oh, should I did that once? I mean, but I didn't I asked. If I didn't ask, you know, I wasn't like, oh my god, congrats, I just asked and I didn't have asked. She felt like an asshole afterward. Nope, sure wasn't. Oh day, but it was a good enough friend when we could laugh at all, thank God.
But uh, yes, well to me, if we're friends, you know that, I don't mind that. But if we're like acquaintances, like if we don't talk on the phone at least once a year, like I mean, ma'am, you're not allowed to text me and ask me like you know, sir, you're not allowed to hit me up in my inbox? So are you pregnant? I mean, I don't little Hello, your name is? My name is Tiffity, Like people like that were hitting me up personally like hey girl, I'm like,
I'm sorry, are we are we friends? And I just thought that that was so weird because I'm like, you know, I get it, Like, I mean, I'm not saying speculating because that's natural, because lord knows, I've done it. But to open your mouth to ask someone that you don't know it is rude, especially when the answer is no and you're like, great, so my belly bumping, like what you know. But I mean, at the end of the day, I thought it was kind of funny, but you know,
I just that's my brown. It's like, please stop asking women if they're pregnant, unless you're like in a delivery room with them. Because one time my friend of mine at wasn't you no, No, it was somebody told me that the story that a woman was picking up boxes and she had big belly, and she'said, oh my god, I got it. I got it. You know, I don't want you to strain the baby.
The lady was like, what baby is not me?
Yeah, like the baby in your the The lady looked at her like, well, now you can just pick up the boxes.
Yeah, she said, I don't want you to strain the baby. She's like, but her stomach was huge. I'm like, that is really embarrassing because she knows she has a big belly, and now you know she has a big belly, and both of y'all know there's no baby in that belly. So now we're here awkwardly looking at each other. So yeah, breaking from that police. What about you? Are you gonna brown break or brown booth.
I'm gonna do a well. I want to do a break and a boost because I read yet another headline that said that half of Americans don't take all their paid vacation. I need to know who you are, I need your name, I need to send you a personal message telling you to take a vacation. So I'm going to do a break for actually using your paid time off.
I don't I don't know. I think it was my mom who just taught me the value of Actually she taught me I have this many PTO days, and I'm going to make sure I take them all by the end of the year. And if she hadn't used them, she'd find an excuse to use them. She'd take like a mental health day or go get her nails done someday.
It's so like your company, that's like, that's almost like just leaving money on the table because they're paying you to not work, like free money that doesn't require any work, and people don't even get that much pto off. So I don't know why you wouldn't use the little bit of time that you have. So if you haven't been planning, you don't have Maybe it's because they don't want to, like spend the money to take a vacation, but you
don't have to take a vacation anywhere. Yeah, you can just take a day and just do something that you like to do. You know, if the kid just send send this kids to school like normal, and just have a day by yourself, sitting in quietly on a couch if you'd like to, which is what my Mommy friends say they would just wish they could do every once in a while, just like have some quiet time. I don't I don't understand why we don't why we don't take our days.
I think people a lot of people are afraid to take days, like almost like you're gonna get in trouble or people are gonna look at you like gone again. You know. I don't know.
I'm more worried when people don't take time off. Like we just hired someone, for example, and it was a question of when she was going to start, and I said, well, she just left a job she's been at for four years, she probably wants to take a week off. And then someone said, well, I haven't taken a day off ever between jobs, and I'm like, well I have, and I think it's important and I don't want her starting if she hasn't had at least a week off to like
recalibrate and take you know, take a deep breath. And you're starting a new job, it's a big deal. I think that's in every job I've every time I've switched jobs, somehow I've negotiated that I have two weeks off in between. Before when I left Business Insider to go to Yahoo, I had two weeks off and I went to Turkey. When I left Yahoo before enjoying Magnify, I worked it out, so I had two and a half weeks off and
I didn't even go anywhere. I literally just had two weeks off to breathe, to like enjoy the city, to read. I went to parks and read on park benches, which was cost no money at all, and it was just it. I just needed it for my own personal health. I don't do well when I'm like jerking between one big thing to the next big thing and back and forth.
I just I know I'm gonna crash, so I do that, I think, And if you're not doing that, maybe people don't know that they can, Like when you're negotiating a new offer, you can pad, you can ask for a time off. I don't. I haven't had anyone tell me no. And I mean, I think in some careers more than others, you feel like, well, I'm competing with everyone else, and you know, they really reward you if you're in the office at all hours of the night and you never
take time off and whatever. But I feel like that mentality is even as shifting, don't you. I mean, all those stories is like bankers like committing suicide after the recession, and like these interns who work for big banks committing suicide or passing out because they're working around the clock. I think there's been more of a push for managers to recognize that humans are humans, We have lives, and we need we need to do some self care every once in a while.
Because it doesn't at the end of the day, like do you want to look happy or do you want to be happy? You know, because I get it, Like I was I was talking to my best friend today, my other best friend, Linda and we're just talking about that. Like this look of happiness is like killing people, you know, because everyone social media is. It's hard because I remember when I first came on and I was so confused. This is before I knew that people could like make
things up. But I would see friends that I knew and I'm like, but that's not real. Like I would be like, she's not really on vacation, or she don't have no money. And it took me a while to realize that people were making up their lives on social media because I was kind of late to the game and I would really think to myself, well, how is he in France? Like he doesn't have any money or he you know, like just really knowing people in real life and it not equated to what I was seeing
on social media. And then I realized, oh, people just kind of create these lives and just show It's one thing to be like, look, I don't want to show the negativity. I'm just going to show good things of what's actually happening. But now people are just straight literally just making things up. You know. It is like having a great time that such as such were like I hate this club, I hate this Yes, little bow wowing.
He got caught on that commercial flight posting about a private plane.
One why private jacks out here? People are like, wait, is this isn't this bowlow? Yeah? So you don't want to do that? And I get it because you know what it is. I get it because you really, even though the adult and you knows that people make stuff up, something in you says, well, maybe why is everyone's life going better than mine? You know, and that's just not true.
Well, this most recent report on people who are not taking their vacation day, it's by glassdoor, and then they asked people, well, why aren't you taking your vacation days? It turns out, for the most part, thirty seven percent of people said that they were afraid that they would get behind on work, and another thirty percent thought that no one else could do their job if they were
to take time off. Twenty percent said it's harder to take time off because they're in a senior position, and another twenty percent said that they wanted to show they were really dedicated to their job. Let's unpack a couple of weeks. So I feel like I'm definitely guilty, I think because I work at a startup before it was. I let me tell you what was when I was playing on my wedding. What was stressful wasn't the wedding planning.
It was doing the work of myself for three weeks so I could take time off for my honeymoon and to do the act like the week of the wedding. That was what killed me. And I get it. I know what it is when you don't you're at a small company, there's not someone who can do your job, and you feel like you're But I mean, I'm glad that I sort of worked super hard so I can take that time off because it was important to me
and I didn't want to give that up. And recently we hired someone to help me so that I have someone now, and it's just such a relief. I have someone now who I could trust to take over when I'm gone, and I don't feel like I have to do the work, like do my work ahead of time so that I can take time off. And I was in a position where I could ask and get that
get that help. And maybe if you feel like there's no one who can do your job but you, maybe it's time to ask for help or tell your higher ups that you're overwhelmed to the point where you can't take time off. It's not in their benefit to have an employee who's run down, stressed and overwhelmed. It's not in anyone's interest, and I think it's I think maybe part of the issue is that people don't feel like it's in their power or that they have the right
to speak up and express that they need help. Sometimes.
Yeah, yeah, I think so too. I think that I think a lot of people are just afraid. People don't want to admit that they're vulnerable or something's not right, you know.
I mean, I don't know. Is everyone just better at faking it than me? Because when I'm stressed out, you're gonna like everyone knows. I'm so bad. I have no poker face, I have no chill, I am a hot Like I am running around today, I left my wallet in the damn freight elevator room where I was taking a phone call because I was running around. I forgot I had a phone call and had to take it in the elevator room and left my wallet in there. Like I show signs of stress, Like I showed signs
of unraveling. And you know that's when you know Mandy probably needs a break. I feel fortunate to work in an environment where I think if it's not frowned upon to to say you need help. But I'll tell you what's what's what is frowned upon is saying you need help and not having a solution, or not knowing who you can go to for help, just sitting there with like throwing your hands up in the air and saying, well, I'm stressed, I can't do this. I'm just having a
bad day. I'm just I just need a day off because I just can't deal. That's not okay. I think if you say, here's what I'm doing, that's taking up more of my time and I don't have time to do X y Z, which actually is my real job. Here's what I'm doing, and here's how we can find someone to help, or here's how we can replace replace some of my tasks and give it to this or give it to this person, or or use this new system that that helps me do my job more efficiently.
That I think employers respect and are more like, are more willing to be receptive to than just someone who's seen as like just complaining. You know, So we have some a good question today. If you guys have questions, you can email us at Brandimission podcast at gmail dot com, or you can go to Brandimission podcast dot com and click on to Ask Us Anything tab to submit your question. We take one at least at one question every episode.
And remember our last episode, we said that soon we'll be doing a student loan entirely student loan dedicated episode, So if you have questions about student debt, how to pay it down, how to refinance, how to get enrolled in income based repayment, submit your questions now and we will let you know asap when you can expect that student loan dedicated episode in the future. Today's question comes
from someone who understandably would like to remain anonymous. But I think it's the one is interesting she says or he says or he says, because I can speak English tonight that I know I'm going to get laid off in five weeks. I know I'll be getting six months severance worth about thirty nine thousand dollars, and I have
a little over one thousand dollars in savings. I have nineteen thousand dollars in credit card debt, and I took out a loan against my four oh one K worth nineteen thousand dollars that I'm paying back through my bi weekly paycheck. Any advice on how I can financially prepare for this? Yikes. One thing that struck me about this question is that she took out a loan against her four to one K. That is something that's okay to
do when you are working. You can take out a loan against your four one K if you're employed currently, and it's actually not the worst thing to do if you need money, because you're gonna be paying. You're going to be paying yourself back, so it's not like you're paying like it's not like you're never going to see that money again. You'll pay yourself back. However, if you lose your job or quit, that loan typically becomes due immediately,
So in five weeks when she gets laid off. That's my initial concern is that loan's gonna come due, and how is she going to pay it back? Yeah, I have a feeling that severance is going to be bye bye, just on that four one K loan alone. She said, that's nineteen thousand dollars. Her severance is about thirty nine thousand dollars.
Well, I thought nineteen thousand was her credit card debt.
Nineteen thousand, she says, it's her credit card debt. And she also took out nineteen thousand dollars in her phone.
Okay, yeah, ah yeah, that's why I typically like advise against taking out money from your phone and K. But I mean, so that's done, But it sounds like to me,
this is what I probably would do. I probably would pay back the forin K. But what I would do when I lost my job and I knew it was coming, I actually transferred my credit cards to because I had a really good credit, to like zero percent interest credit cards like balance transfer for like, I think it was up to two years most of the card because I had great credit. So that way I had kind of like two years to pay down this debt without interest.
That's one of the things I did that that might be an option that to help great idea.
You know, people don't really know, and I don't blame them because I don't feel like I even really grasped the concept of balance transfers until a couple of years ago. It was just that thing you get in the mail, the balance transfer tracks you're like, what are these? These
look like? You know whatever, I'm gonna shed these. But balance we should talk about balance transfers because it is such an easy way to consolidate not I mean easy if you have good credit, easy simple, like no brainer way to consolidate credit card debt and buy yourself some time where you're not getting drowned in interest payments. For sure, we just did the with well, we've paid off credit cards.
But you know, one of the things we've we've worked on as a couple is what about his credit card debt and do we just pay it off even though we have the savings, and it's something that he wanted to do, is just I want to pay down my credit card debt. It's my debt. I want to pay it off. But it wasn't like a ton of debt. It was about I don't know, twenty five hundred dollars, but it was on a credit card that had like a sixteen percent seventeen percent interest rate. So we actually
before the wedding did a balance transfer. And there's the card itself, was called the Barclay Card Master Card that's out right now. They have a I think it's an eighteen month zero percent interest free period on balance transfers. And the best part is there's no fees. That's one of the things that people always have to weighen you're doing a balanced transfer. Sometimes they charge like three percent fee, yeah, some sort of minimum fee. And so this offer is
amazing and I can I'll post a link. And we don't have any affiliation with bark card at brand ambition. I'm just telling you this is what we did. So definitely compare offers that are out there, but we chose it because it was zero percent, no fees. It took less than a week and that that's gone and it's great.
Yeah, And honestly, like I can't remember where I found my card, but I tell people honestly, I mean not to plug Landy's job, but Magnifi Money has a great list and what I looked for when I did my balance transfer was cards that were currently having Like you said that there was no transfer fee, because sometimes I'll have, like I don't know, a promotion or whatever. So Magnifi Money was good at having that.
Yeah, we have a we have a balance transfer tool where retrack all the best offers. Also, you know, you do need to have pretty strong credit, like at least high six hundreds, maybe a seven hundred, especially this the sparkwad card offer. I know for a fact, your score needs to be excellent, which is seven hundred or above. And uh, it's yeah, it's a it's a great way
to buy yourself some time. And I would say, first, I mean, you know you're losing a job in five weeks, back to I can get back to her question if you're not already. I mean, obviously the one of the most obvious things to do is make sure you're having their job lined up because she's she also mentions, I mean she has a mortgage that she's paying for, and obviously she's going to want to pay out those student loan debt. I mean that not student loan credit card debt,
so you need to replace that income. I mean, on the one hand, I'm kind of like, well, you have five weeks head start, which is something that a lot of people don't have when they get laid off. So you have a bit and a severance package. So those are two legs up that I feel like a lot of people may not have if they were to get laid off. So it's not the worst case scenario, you still have options and there's still a way for you to get out from this debt without digging yourself even deeper.
All I do is when wait, no matter what, we're a bad ambition and we don't give it up, I don't I have to come up with some veteran.
Yeah, we're back with some wins. This week. I have a win. We did a report at Magnified Money that got so much. It was the first report that went semi viral for Magnified Money, which is so exciting because I've always wanted to do this. How many of you guys have friends who as a couple make six figures and have no idea, but they just feel like they're
still broke. I mean, I thought that one. I'm raising my hand because I feel like there's a lot of people out there, whether you're earning six figures on your own and you live in a big city, or you're a couple and you each you know, to collectively earn one hundred thousand dollars. I at Magnified Money, we put out a report a couple of weeks back looking at three hundred and eighty US metro areas to find out where you can earn six figures and still feel like
you're broke. Why did we yikes? Yeah, number one surprised me. The number one worst city to earn six figures as a household is Washington, d C. Not New York City, not New York yeah, d C. Two things about DC. One childcare. On average, people spend fifteen hundred dollars on childcare in DC, which is like a mortgage payment. And one thing, you know, we got some We got a lot of responses from parents in the DC area and then other areas and are worst list too, saying well
this is you know, this is just the average. But I pay way over fourteen hundred dollars a month, and I know I have friends in New York who spend close to two thousand dollars a month for one kid just to have childcare. And it's not even like, you know, all day long childcare. It's like get out at four o'clock or something like that childcare. So I that's the one challenge you have on you those kind of stuff
because you have to look at averages. But we totally understand that people are even sometimes spending way way more than this. But it just seemed like it struck a chord and I know I'm doing it as a win only because it was one of our most successful and cited. We had stories in CNBC, CNN, Money is going to
do a story, we had a story. We had a huge story on Business Insider covering the report, and I just feel like, I feel like we touched a nerve in that a lot of people are in this situation, and I think it gave what I wanted is just to give people who were in this situation a little bit of like, Okay, you're not alone and you're not crazy, Like it's not uncommon. Six figures isn't what it used to be, And yeah it's sad, but you're not making it if you're earning six figures these days, you know
what I mean. As a household, we looked at two people in a house, two adults earning a collectively one hundred thousand dollars who also had a small kid, and that is just not enough in some places. Of course, the most affordable place is Tennessee, Johnson City, Tennessee. One in Johnson City.
Yeah, well my way, it's from my city. I put on for my city. I put on for my city. So a friend of mine named Lauren Craig aka in a word fab that's like her social media name. She put out a book where the book is coming out, but it's called a hundred Things to Do in Newark before you Die? You know how like those there's so many books of like different cities, like one hundred things to Do in Paris before you Die, you know. Yeah, And so I'm really excited for her because I thought,
how genius, you know. And so it's the hashtag is like one hundred things Newark. But I'm just really proud of it because you know, Newark has gotten you know, so much flack like cities like Detroyed and Compton and and things like that. Like, but it's just nice to see that there's this like uptick and I'm excited to actually read the book to see like what makes it, especially if someone who's lived here for a number of years, to see like what kind of like what Newark staples
make it, you know, what new things? Actually I can actually not even one hundred I'm sorry, a thousand things a thousand. I was like, no, no, it is one hundred. It is one hundred. So I'm like, wait, is there a thousand.
Your love for Newark was just tested exactly.
So, but I'm excited because she's gonna actually have like a like a big launch party on August fifteenth. You can get the book on Amazon, so a hundred things. I think if you just type in one hundred things Newark, it should come up. But I'm just honestly, I'm just excited because I'm really excited really to dig in and see like what made the cut. And it's just nice to see someone collect good things about Newark versus like, you know, collecting all the things that are not right
about Newark. I get it, NewYork has its issues, just like every other city, but it's just nice to know that there's some you know, there's something that's all about positivity. And the New York Museum, honestly, if you have not been, it is gorgeous, and she's having the release party there, So I'm excited because the NewYork Museum is one of my favorite places. Well, by this time next week, I should be You're super Chocolate because I'm headed to jam
rock with Superman. So if you see me out there, leave me alone. I'm on vacation on Bicking. We're gonna have, you know, some I just cannot wait. I'm literally gonna do nothing like litter, run late nothing.
I don't want to see any social media posting. I don't want to get an email from you. I don't wanna. I mean, are we doing the podcast next Monday?
Though? Yeah, yeah we were. I'll be back okay, but no, I girl, I'm gonna do some social media posting, but like you know, like toes in the water, like not anything, no, no budgeties, to stuff. Just wish you were here, but glad you're not.
Social Media bragging is allowed, yes, all right.
All right, b A listeners, It's been awesome as per usual. If you have any questions, financial questions, or if you you know, just want to hit us up about the fibroid stuff, you can hit.
Us up at the bad financial questions are fibroids, that is our specialty.
Superman is looking at me like why why.
It's like they know more about your uterus than I do at this point.
So he was like it just looks at me. When I said five word stuff, his head turned like are you kidding me? No, I'm not kidding. Yeah. So the BA podcast at gmail dot.
Com incorrect and.
And I had a feeling. Oh god, it's been like seven years and I still get it wrong. On that note, we love you and we'll see you next week.
Just google us, you know, you know how to find us. All right, Happy week, See you next week.