Hey, we're back. We're back. We're back, We're back. Maybe snars. What did you call them? Be a listener?
Oh, but didn't I didn't get I didn't catch a like d listeners. Hey, guys, thank you for joining us for another week of Brown Ambition.
Yes.
Is it weird to you when you find out that random people listen to the show and they're like, oh, hey, are you I was talking to my friend and she's like, so, my sister doom't Be wanted me to tell you she loves the show and I was like, oh God.
Or sometimes when I like someone said something to me, I'm like, yikes, I did say that on the show.
Yeah, I and your family will. They'll be like, oh, yeah, so you did this and that, and I'm like, how did you know? Oh yeah, the show. They know all about your life before you.
You you know what, Like, luckily my family doesn't really know I have a podcast, or they probably all in it. But it'll be weird because somebody will be like, oh, did you get too man to sign that prena?
I'm like, oh wait.
Because it's so we're really open on this show. I think that's part of the reason people have can I mean, I could be wrong, but it seems that people connect with the personal side. But then sometimes I'm thinking, did I really talk about that I know?
And I'm like, well, hopefully the people that I love the most, you know, will try to blind ear to it all over exposed.
I don't want to be overexposed. But anyway, I shout out to Doombe's my friend, Toulu's sister and putting on blast. But how how is your week?
Ben? It's been much? Yeah, it's been good.
So the the Live Richer Academy reopen registration again.
Uh it's been eight months. And I'm not gonna lie.
Have you ever done something or created something and you're like, yeah, I'm not in love with it.
Like all the time, and so things right tweets and.
So it sucks because especially like I'm like, I always like to deliver excellence. So when I first opened the Academy, it was like the baby that would not go to sleep. I was like, come on, I'm doing everything possible to make this thing good, and I just felt like I could not.
I don't know, it just wasn't doing what I wanted it.
And now, honestly, I love the Academy you have to come on as an instructor, like as an ASCI expert on a Sunday night.
But I love it.
It's so dope's it feels good like we're finally at a place where I'm like, yes, this is what this is why I started. The academy is exactly what I want. And registration has been opened for about a week and we close Tuesday.
Oh you tell them what it is, though, I don't think we've really talked about the academy.
So the Literature Academy is a online school that I created to really help women take their personal finances to the next level. So I believe that basic financial education should be free, like this is how you budget, this is how you save, this is how you get out of debt, stuff like that. But to me, the next level, you know, because you can't budget your way to wealth or debt free your way to wealth. So through the Liverature.
Academy, we I invite experts on, sorry, I invite experts on to come and teach specific courses like investing, like taxes for small business, like like last night we did a lesson called your your your mentality, and your wealth, Like how are those things connected and it was awesome. And so these experts come on and teach what I
could not teach. And the academy is a monthly fee, or you can pay for six months, or you can pay for a year, and so it's been really great and we close we close the doors for registration.
March seventh's today if you're listening right now, it's today exactly.
So if you're interested, you can always go to Live Richer Academy dot com and just kind of take a peek. It's just been like a labor of love, and I'm starting to see the transformation. Women are starting businesses, they're buying homes, and I'm just really proud of it because it was not that great in the beginning. For those of you who stuck with us, thank you, But now I love it. It's like my beautiful baby, she's all grown up.
All that's good to hear. And that's kind of like the next level. It's a master's course for like the people who do the challenge right, like the Live Ritual Challenge.
So it's like just the next level because you know, I just feel like if all you ever do is like the basics, and that's where you stay you don't want to be basic.
Basic BA listeners. Yeah, well congrats, that's awesome.
Thanks. So what about you? How's I? You know, you're coming around the bend.
Oh, just around the wedding bend. So this is the week when I on my calendar all these red all these red reminders are popping up saying this vendor's check is due, this last deposits due. Oh my god, and someone I need I So I follow the DreamCatcher's Facebook page, which is you know, obviously Tiffany's page for all people who are part of the liver Her Challenge. Some of these women had. One of these women had the audacity to post a college humor video on how pointless weddings are.
And I sat there and watched this video and I was like, why am I doing? But then I was like, no, it's okay, it's fine to have a wedding. In fact, when I it was the what basically the video. When I first got engaged, I went out and got this book called The Wedding Industrial Complex, which is great. It's an excellent book. It's about like the industrialization of the wedding and like how it's been commercialized and how it didn't even exist one hundred years ago, and the College
Humor video basically did the same thing. And it's like Nobe even wore white dresses until the nineteen twenties when Queen Victoria in London, England wore a white dress to show how rich she was. Like that is how young that tradition is. And then look what were how much we're spending now on these white wedding gowns, And I just wanted people didn't even used to carry bouquets of flower I learned flowers in their hands. They used to carry herbs to ward off evil spirits, like like cilantro,
like the garlic, like a Caesar salad down the aisle. Yeah, it's funny, but I will say the one thing about this wedding that's helping me sleep at night because it's not cheap, but it's not as expensive as it could be if it were in New York. And I just I looked. I was looking at our guest list this past week and I literally could not I could not
put together a better group of people. And it's just gonna be the most spectacular, fun weekend with all the people that we love and like, uh, I really, I'm proud of that we've been focusing it and focusing on the people and the love part of things, and not like we're not like you're not gonna have there's not gonna be I'm sorry, tiffing. There's not gonna be like a swan made out of ice. We're not gonna have like a crazy photo booth. We're not spending like, we're
not spending money on a bunch of junk. We're just spending it on like everything that matters to us and that makes me happy. And that's my wedding, my wedding rant.
Well, I can't because you know I'm a bit air.
Just live vicariously through my crazy ass wedding and you'll have your very simple one and your house, and I'll have polaroids of my wedding. Yeah, but it's coming up. I can't believe it's just a month away. But meanwhile, the world's falling apart, continuing to fall apart. No, I feel like I'm just gonna have like a permanent handprint
on my forehead, like from all the foolishness. I just read before before we got on the air, I read that Ben Carson mister gifted hands himself was giving some speech and talking about the power of immigrants, and then he went on to say, wait, I need to actually read this quote because you need to know how insane it is. He says, that's what America is about, a
landed dreams and opportunity. There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder, for less, but they too had a dream that one day their sons and daughters would pursue prosperity in slave ships. He calls them immigrants.
Immigrants.
Oh my god, yo, honestly, you know what Ben Carsion reminds me of. So, you know, before reality TV shows, like you would like look up to celebrities like, oh my gosh, she seems really smart and cool, and then reality shows came out, and then celebrities are on them, You're like, oh my gosh, that person is an idiot.
I wish they would have never.
Because, you know, because when you just see pictures of people, you know, you can kind of impose upon them how awesome you think there are, and then when they actually open their mouth, you're like, oh, well, there goes all of my hopes and dreams. My father gave me Ben Carson's gifted hands to read.
I was so impressed. I mean, this man, it's so weird because, yeah, it's clear that this man is brilliant. Obviously a brilliant surgeon, a brilliant ghost writer, right, no, well, a brilliant surgeon.
You know, like you can't take the fact that he's a brilliant surgeon away from him, and you're like, where is he an idiot savant? That's the only that's the only answer that I have that clearly that his brilliant stops. He literally leaves it inside the surgery room when he puts down his his like you know, I don't know, like scalpel and stuff.
He says, well, here's my brilliance. I'm going to leave this here and walk into the world foolish.
You need to have a well rounded life, as you can be speaking those smart kids in school who are very socially awkward and don't really have well rounded like like world view. I feel like sometimes if you spend too much time in the books or inside of bodies or whatever you don't like, you start thinking things like, yeah, maybe slaves were immigrants just brave it, Like that's nuts.
I don't.
I if if one more person says like, I didn't speak to Russia, okay to Russia.
Just cutdang. I forgot just just so weird when they came over lunch that one time. I forgot. Yeah, And the foolishness this weekend with with with Voldemort and what he said about Obama, who does not Obama is like literally Obama is somewhere right now getting like a foot massage and.
Just picture recently Michelle and like this cute black outfit. Yo, he's looking so cool with his leather like butter leather jacket.
They are chilling, chilling, talking about I was wire tapped. Could you honestly just shut up? Just just shut up, just shut up. I'm like, what are you talking? The CIA was like what are you? What?
The FBI everyone, what are you talking about? That doesn't even make that's a serious allegation, you crazy nincome poop.
But don't worry. He'll be an investigation. He'll be proven right, is what he was quoted us saying by one of his friends while he was at mar A Lago resort for yet another weekend spending millions of dollars of taxpayers dollar taxpayer money, going to the winter White House where he wanted to tweet out this. I mean, even if it's true, the fact that he would tweet it before, I mean it's not true. I mean Obama has he had a pull. I'm just mad. He stole a moment
of peace from Obama's retirement. He deserved some sleep and you know, relaxation. He had to put out a statement denying these accusations. But even if in a crazy universe they were true, the fact that we have a president who would be tweeting that before it was proven.
Right, like before you go to the actual authority to say, hey, I think the law was broken, let me tweet to my peeps.
That's literally what he said. He said, you know what, I have something to say to my peeps.
Let me tweet, Hey, y'all, somebody seriously broke the law and committed treason.
What y'all think? Like, what do you say?
I just, honestly, the only thing that gives me any solace Ballas and all of this is I love lovey awesomely Love's blog posts, yo, everything.
They are life. They are hilarious and I.
Will read them whenever something crazy comes out Because she always puts this just delicious, hilarious spin on things that.
Makes me say, Okay, I can live another day.
Yeah, I mean you do have to laugh at it. But at the same time, it's like, so he had a speech last week and everyone was just falling all over themselves because he didn't sound like a complete like moron. I'm like, the bar is so low. So he strung some words together for a solid hour, and we're all just like, look at you, go, look at you and your big boy pants making sentences make sense, Like that can't be the bar for our president. It's just so sad and this, you know, he's he's done so many
crazy things. It's it's like we've almost what I'm afraid of is that we're gonna get too used to the craziness and that I mean if if so so many times throughout his campaign and now it's like if it had been anybody else, you'd have been out anybody else. But I don't know what what what magic hold he has over some people, But it's like he is the cockroach that will not die.
Yeah, no matter how many times you stop on it, no matter how many times you spray it, it just flips back over and runs into the Darkness girls.
When they put that over, it's like I got I was dead, I'm a roach. I'm gonna be here forever. I love.
Do you watch Jesus and Marrow. Do you know them? They're the Bodega Boys podcast? Oh you have to. They are everything. Don't tell my fiance because I tease him because he loves them so much and I'm like, oh them again, But uh, they're really for funny as hell. They're just like these two. They're two guys from the Bronx, Jesus and Marra who childhood friends. They started a podcast
called the Bodega Boys. Like just really just like they I can't even describe them, but just just real guys having conversations about current events and being like like vulgar and like whatever, but hilarious, like hilarious commentary on everyday things. And they got a show on Vice actually, and the show is doing like amazingly well and they have the most hilarious takes on They call him Tornpito and they called Sean Spicer Adobo because he's got spice. They're just
freaking hilarous. Can't even say half of what they say because it's like extremely vulgar and it sounds stupid coming from my own mouth, but them, I think they're But I live for like people like that who can at least like it's like we're watching Trump and we're staying woke, but then you still kind of have to laugh a little bit at the insanity of what's happening. And I and yeah, we just need to like keep shining a light on this foolishness. And Ben Carson used to go sit down somewhere.
If anybody needs some just like some release.
There's I don't remember a while ago, maybe it was like late last year, there was like this comedian that she was like on Instagram. Her name is a but she played a character named Shirlene, like the older black woman.
Yeah you talked about her before, Yeah, yeah.
Oh my goodness.
So she has a new video out so if you just need a giggle her Her Instagram is the Christie c h R. I s T I Show, The Christie Show like her videos are so it's clean comedy. So for those of you whore and not into like cursing. Whatever she is. I guess she's Christian. Yeah, she's obviously Christian, but that's not like what her like her stick is like, oh, even though she a young woman, she dresses up like
an older black woman, like rooted in the church. And when I say hilarious, oh, like I just can't describe.
So yeah, so if you get a chance, And that's what I do.
Sometimes when I'm like overwhelmed with like the darkness in the world and I'm like, I can't take like what I love you, Carls Cheeto Satan.
I can't say Cheeto Satan, I will go.
To her Instagram page and I will giggle my LifeWay and I'm like, thank you Christy aka Miss Shirley, and you make everything better. So just a little, you know, just a little, a little time away from all the craziness.
Is there something? Could you maybe come closer to the mic or something? It sounds like you're a little far away.
Can you hear me? Now?
Speak again?
How does it sound now?
Okay, it's a little bit better.
Yeah, okay, let me put I'm gonna pop it up. Hold on, So it's a little bit closen to my man. All right.
I have to say I was just I was just browsing in the New York Times headline right now, the main story is that the Republicans finally unveiled their replace span for Obamacare, and I am trying to read. So what was expected for them to replace it with was, you know how on the Obamacare, the Healthcare Exchange right now you get tax subsidies that lower the cost of
your health plan. Essentially, what they're doing is they're removing the mandatory part of the bill, which the mandate, which says that everyone has to have healthcare or face a tax penalty. And it looks like they are going to give income wait, let me see. It looks like they're going to do tax credits that would completely replace everything else. So instead of requiring you to have health insurance, they're going to say, if you do get health insurance, will
give you tax credits. And they're going to get bigger with age. And the idea behind that is that as you age, coverage gets more expensive. But it's happening, y'all, it's happening. Stay woke.
So I mean, so they're basically keeping it except for they're going to give tax credits.
I haven't read the entire thing. This is a very short article. This new is like just came out, so I don't want to. I don't want to misspeak. There' probably be more information and more analysis tomorrow. But yeah, that was one of the things that they were that the individual mandate from the very beginning was a huge point of contention for the law, and I knew they were always going to try and get rid of. That's
what this doesn't with. This article doesn't say yet is whether or not Trump always said he would try and keep the pre existing condition coverage for people. Not clear from this article if he's doing that or not. But if you have Obamacare, you rely on it. Definitely pay attention to the news right now for sure. And this plan is just a plan. It hasn't been voted on,
nothing like that. It's just finally, it's like finally, for months and years they've been talking about, you know, Obamacare being a piece of crap, but never had anything better.
So yeah, no, But if they're like to me, I don't like, you know, the getting rid of the mandate, I mean, I can't say financially, you know, for the economy what that means, but I can see that being like, oh, okay, and then you know tax credit, that's that's a good thing. But I'm like, really, so Baitically, I'm like, y'all just gonna keep the same plan.
Look at you because you don't have any plan. But anyway, we'll see the biggest.
Thing with the with the plan is that it's just it's a little bit too unrealistic and and all the sort of analysis of its plan has said it would cost the government. I think that one of the I went on of the gosh. I can't remember if it was billion or trillion. That's a big that's a big difference. I don't want to misspeak, but it was like five billion or trillion dollars it was going to cost over
the next like ten years. If if Trump's campaign version of of of tax and health care changes, what's going to an effect. So I don't know what it'll cost, but it does feel like his in his magical world of lollipops and and golf courses. It's like everyone gets
tax breaks, but who's where's the money coming from? And by the way, we're spending like twenty billion dollars on a wall on our on the Mexican border, and I'm like and raising our defense fund and we're already one of the countries that spends more than like all the biggest stations combined on defend spending. I just I was like, as a budgeting person, as you can imagine, I'm sure you're just like, this ain't lining up, yeah.
Because you're like, so, you know, money doesn't just poof, unto real life look like thin air, like if you take, if someone is receiving, someone is losing. That's just the way, like, you know, things go out. Yeah, I guess we'll see. I mean, yeah, I guess we'll see. You don't have to just you look up and you sigh, like you know,
it's so crazy. I still haven't gotten over. Like there'll be times when I'm on like you know, social media or like the new a news site, and then I'll see him and they'll say President Trump, and I'm like.
Like, like listen. I had to correct our reporter and have her put President in the headline because I was like, we can't just say Trump anymore. We have to respect the office put president. Gritting my teeth the entire time, we're like, I'm.
Like, wait, this is real. Wait, it's got a drill.
Nope, But we can only hope that if things keep going the way they're going. I don't know, what else. I mean, what what's it going to take to get this guy impeached? That's what I want to know.
Like what.
But in a bit of like lighthearted news, did you see the video of the two little boys, the white boy and the black boy, and how the little white boy asked for a haircut to shave his head so that he would confuse his teacher. They would be twins. I want to put them in like a little diny dime capsule and protect them from the world.
You can't tell a difference. It's like, oh I can't, but that is so adorable. I did. I love that.
I wonder if they if there's I'm sure there is, but like at what age do kids start realizing? Like what age do a society mess up kids and their perception of race? You know?
No, you're right though.
I remember, like, for example, like when I used to teach preschool, there's this little boy named Gino, and Gino like he had just come from I think Puerto Rico or the Dominican Republican. He couldn't speak any English, and I remember worried, being worried, like, oh, you know, how's he kind of acclimated the class because he's not going to be able to communicate.
And like, I remember, like the kids were like, you know, he came in day.
One playing and then I had to pull a little girl to the side she was playing with him. I said, you know, just so you know, you know, Gino doesn't speak any English. She looked at me like I was crazy, like what are you talking about?
You can write?
And I thought to myself, Wow, kids communicate on a totally different level.
She's like, he doesn't speak English, like, but yet they.
Were speaking maybe yeah, exactly like we like they were talking and they were playing and you know, like and I thought, wow, Like it was clear they were communicating and they had worked out a little game that they were playing, and I thought, wow, how because at three and four, you know, kids speak they're like, you know, hey, Mims, Tiffany,
I'm hungry. It's not like she's like, oh you know, so, I'm like, well, he's speaking to you in Spanish and you're speaking to him back in English, and yet they were communicating obviously beyond just language, and I'm just it just made me remember like, wow, kids are so awesome.
And he didn't have any trouble on me. His really within like a month or two, he started to really pick up on certain words and able to like string sentences together without any sort of like formal These are your English lessons.
And I just thought, wow, oh yeah, yeah, kids are awesome.
I think my fiancee learned English from The Price Is Right. He told me he would watch The Prices Right and like all these like sitcoms with his grandma. That's how he learned. The kids are kids are amazing and those boys were adorable, so he.
Was so happy.
I was like, look at and first of all, when you see like boys who are friends, because like you know, when boys.
Get older, they're too cool to like hang like to say that they love their friends.
But friend, yeah they are too cool for that. But then yeah, boys they're so sweet.
But again they need to just be preserved somewhere, not ruined.
And I'm glad that his mom and his parents, you know, they're like because you know, that's to be commended to because they they could have you know, not been like what no, you know.
And re read at Harvard come on, yes, and that fabulous tweed off the shoulder, delightful, she's like your business suits.
Yeah, she was like, so I made it to Harvard. That opening line was everything horrible.
I had no idea. I mean that just shows I she really doesn't like speak loud about it or stoud about it. But I had no idea she was. She was like building clinics and like schools and stuff, and uh, where is she from Trinidad? Yeah, Trinidad and Tobagel.
Yeah, awesome, because you're right.
You know, when you think of Rihanna, you think of like, oh, badgirl Rihanna, and not realizing just how much.
Good she does in the world, not just musically.
Yeah, because I remember I kind of was awakened to it last year. I went to Black Girls Rock and they honored her for the things she was doing. They had like a little montage video and I was like, wow they did Okay, Yeah.
It does feel like yeah, I remember, because she like she took time and talked with the little girls and stuff.
Yeah.
She seems like a really you know, I've read some of her interviews and I like what she has to say about relationships a lot. She says she's like single, she's been single, and she was talking talking about how she's just enjoying being by herself and and you know, not dating right now. It doesn't really feel the need to date. And I don't know. I think, yeah, I think, I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like I underestimated Rihanna is just like the work.
Yeah, no, she's you know, totally deeper than just the weed smoking Rihanna we see on our Instagram.
Sorry, I'm not I did not know. I apologize and other cute news. Can Blue Ivy get more fabulous?
I know this hair? I'm like, yeah, get into these braids.
Did you see that they went to the Beauty and the Beast premiere? What a charmed life, as Little Girl leads. I'm waiting for the VHS tape to come out, not even the real one. My dad would get the bootleg VHS tapes. I remember watching Pocahontas and for the I didn't realize how much I was missing as a kid because I only saw like half the screen in every movie. My dad would get off the street like the bootleg VHS is and I'd be like, is there. I would
think that there was laughing tracks. No, that's just people in the theater laughing like all these I remember I watched the real version of Pocahontas as an adult, and I was like, where's a laughing at like all the parts of the Little Raccoon. The audience would crack up, Yeah, seriously, and there would be like, you know, the like because the camera whatever camera this was back in the nineties.
It wasn't even a good camera, so people recording in the theater would like you cut off parts of the screen.
Yeah.
So I was like, oh, I know she was. That was such a big land and that was a big boat.
Yes, hilarious laughing.
Meanwhile, Blue Ibby is getting to go to the damn premiere. She's like, I'm gonna see this two weeks earlier than anybody else. Fabulous and like the cutest mommy and me outfits. I don't know if you saw yet, but theances were in like a fabulous green dress and blue Ivy matches and she's smiling. I don't feel like I see Blue Ivy smile very much.
Yeah, yeah, I feel like she does it.
But you saw like she there was a picture of her and her father like front row at like a basketball game and they're making the same kind of like face and I was like, oh, the.
All Star game.
Yeah. So let's just wait till these twins get here. They're gonna be stomping the yard.
I don't know if the world is ready. I know, and she looks like she's nine months pregnant already, like she got the secret for a long time.
I have to say, like, well, I guess twins are different.
Like looking at her pregnant now, I could see where people were.
Like, she wasn't pregnant before, but then again, these are twins.
Stop it. She was pregnant. Come on, but she posted pictures of her pregnant billy, I know, but she.
Didn't look that pregnant.
But anyway, I'm gonna let it go because I'm going to say that she is very pregnant, clearly pregnant. Yes, and I cannot wait to see these babies pop out.
Queen Bee right, I would wait a girl.
Oh, I don't know. I hope it's two boys. I think two boy twins. That's adorable.
Oh man, they're gonna be tearing up all these young girls out here. Get ready for your heart to be broken.
Oh lord, they just need to be like the antithesis of the Kanye West babies. That's all the West babies. I don't even want to know.
Right, Oh, but North is just so cute and I don't see much of Saint sat West that name.
I was trying to think of that baby's name.
Yeah, but they're both really just like I mean, North is gorgeous and Saint is so cute.
So well, you never know.
Up being the most normal, you know, sometimes people come from crazy parents and end up being super normal.
Like who give me some examples? Those Jackson kids are kind of I don't know.
I'm trying to think, like, yeah, who has crazy parents and they're normal?
Who will be optimistic?
Yes, exactly, That's what We'll just say that.
Maybe there's some grand there's some praying, uh praying uncles and aunties and uncles in their life that are like praying coverage over them, the blood of Jesus.
All that I wish upon them. Many good therapists.
Yes it is time to break or boom boom, I will tell you I'm gonna take a brown break from this helter skelter schizophrenic weather.
I'm like, what it's.
Abny, Like I am in the northeast right now.
I don't even know like what Like every day I'm like, so is it T shirt or literally snorkel like it's it's so crazy where and it could even go from hour to hour, like it could start the day off you're like, oh, what's so nice out my life jacket, and then three hours later you're like getting out of the car, You're like, oh, my gosh, I should have brought my north face. And so I'm tired of Mother
Nature's inconsistency. I'm not just I mean, I have to say I'm glad we didn't have a super terrible winter in the Northeast, but it's.
Just but it's still winter, they'd like to remind you.
Yeah, And I'm always like pulling out like that.
Like literally, I'm like I have some of my like spring clothes out and I'm like, wait, but there's not enough room.
I have like every type of coat available. I'm always like I'm not sure.
Literally, I'll put a code on, walk outside and walk way back and be like, no, I think I need this one. So I'm just taking a break from all of this this uncertain weather, and hopefully we will the weather will officially break and we can smooth our way into spring.
So my my break, uh, my boost rather is going to be for couples counseling. I speaking of TMI. You should all know. So one of the investments that we made when we were planning for the wedding is one a financial advisor financial planner, and two I kept putting it off. We kept like having trouble finding a good counselor. But I thought it would be important for us to
do some sort of like pre marital counseling. You know, a lot of you know, they sell like I don't know, I felt like I was at one point I was gonna like spend six hundred dollars and do like a membership to some fitness club, and like, I don't know if I was. I just thought, man, if I'm gonna put this money into like looking good for the wedding, we need to at least put money into like our
actual relationship. And not that we have a ton of issues, but I feel like a lot some people do form like uh, religious premarital counseling, Like especially Catholics, you go to the church and you do it through your church, or you do a like an all day seminar and then you meet with your officiant or your pastor or whoever.
But since we're not really religious. I decided to just I just started googling, like couples counseling programs in New York, and I found I found a few different people who specialize in couple counseling, and we landed upon this woman who's who's from Jersey City, and she has a practice here which is really convenient, but she specializes in a it's awkward, I'm not gonna lie. She specializes in a
type of therapy that you were. It's all about like validating the other person and like that you heard them, and so it's a lot of repeating what the other person said. Like if you say, if Tiffany is like, hey, Mandy, I feel like you talk a lot on the podcast and I'd really enjoy for you to not talk so much, then I would have to say, Tiffany, I hear that you said that I talk a lot. Did I understand you?
Right?
And back and forth. And we did our first session a few weeks back, and it was it was awkward, but in the very first session what was great is that, like it was forcing sometimes relationships, one person is a talker, yea, the other person isn't. And I'm you can probably guess which one of us is the talker.
I was gonna say, you probably guess which one of us between like likely, Yeah, you're like, clearly both of us are the talkers in our relationship.
Yeah, so we're fine, we'll have no problem communicating. But in the relationship you don't realize how much can go unsaid or like some people, like you may think the other person's fine, but they don't have a way of verbalizing it. And anyway, our first session it was like uncomfortable. It's kind of like going back to the gym, or like going to the gym for the first time, where you're really kind of like it's awkward and you're out of like shape and you're not really used to the
machines yet. But our second and third sessions were actually really good, and I'm feeling like there's no negativity. It just kind of just kind of feels like a positive.
At the beginning of each session, we meditate, which sounds kind of weird, but uh, we meditate for a couple minutes, and then what I've liked about it and what we haven't done before is it's funny because we met each other late in our adult life, not late but like in our late twenties and you've missed a whole lifetime before that, Like you don't know each other as kids. You don't know what you went through as teenagers and
that kind of thing. And in this type of counseling she's having us, we're finding out things about each other about our childhood that we never knew about. And like it's crazy, like little things in your childhood can manifest in your relationship as an adult. I know that made sound like duh, but for me it was like, oh, that's why I do that thing, or like that's why he does that thing. And it's like I feel like I'm learning even more about this person who I've known
for five years. You know, I just feel good about it. I feel like it's it's it's like it makes me feel I mean, I was already confident about marrying him, but it's it's just I feel like we're getting stronger even going through this, and I don't know, I I it's a good investment.
I feel like, no, that is.
I mean, I don't think people recognize or realize if you're not in a relationship, because I always forget until I get into a relationship. I'm like, oh, it's a lot of work and not work, Like oh, you know, people are like, oh, if it's love, it's not work.
Yes it is, like it is, it's just and meaning like if people would just step out of the whole love part of the relationship and just call it a relationship, meaning like it's work with my sisters, it's work with my parents, it's work with my friends, and the work doesn't mean necessarily that it's like, oh, like this begrudging, like oh my god, I always have no like if I want to hang out my friends, I have to call them and make plans and see them, and it's work,
you know, meaning that I have to make an effort. And so same thing with your love relationship, if there's still effort that needs to be made in order to maintain a good relationship.
And so sometimes I.
Forget or just I guess people in general forget that, like, yeah, you have to put in effort if you want, you know, what you have with this person to be strong and is knowing that it's not always going to be perfect. But one good thing like I really like about Superman is that I although I'm a good talker, I'm not necessarily always a good communicator, and he's actually to me a better communicator than I am.
Even though he doesn't talk as much as.
I do, he does more with less.
Yes, So because.
I'll be like, well, I'm fine, I'm fying whatever, you know, he'll just be like okay.
So it seems like the issue is this is that how you feel? You know what, I'm like, Yeah, that's how i'm you.
Know, he would love it, he'd be he'd be a rock star.
So he's really good.
And then to me, I will be the type that I'll talk around it because I might not want to say directly, but.
He's really like straight to the point, like no, let's unearth it.
Let's say because I'm always afraid that like, oh no, this means we're gonna break up. You know, every time you like don't agree, you're like, oh my god, it's over, And he's like, make.
Sure in the beginning, Oh for sure. You don't never look at your old G chats. By the way, don't ever go back to the early beginning of your relationship and read your old G chats.
Don't do it like it's always tell him you don't want to be with me.
Oh my god, like, you know, like it could be something disagreement over something so silly because I don't know, Like I'm always like worst case scenario, like oh god, he's gonna want his ring back.
I knew I should have made dinner. I promise, Oh god, I was gonna make me low. I did it, and he's frustrated.
You know, he's not gonna be to be his wife because I should have made the meat loaf.
But I'm like, he's like, Tiffany, it's that serious.
I mean, yeah, I want a meet Low if you promise, but it's okay, we can go out to eat.
I'm like okay, and he's like, why do you always go to the extreme? I'm like, I don't know.
Yeah, so I think that would actually be good for us, I mean, or at least for me, because I know that, Like I guess.
It's just like this weird feeling of is this real? Is it gonna work out?
Is it gonna you know, you have all of these questions and because they tell you all scary statistics about marriage, you know.
It's like we know too much. Yeah, I really envy people from past generations where it was like just get a job and you get a wife and you get a house and that's it, and have some kids and there's just very simple. And now it's like we have so many options and we're so connected and we have so much access to people and experiences and things. It's
so hard to have like a traditional relationship now. And I think for me, it's like I was definitely the one who was championing the whole, like, let's do marriage counseling. My mom was divorced three times. I have no illusions about marriage, and I'm trying to do things like kind of learn from mistakes that I've seen in my life.
But the fact that you showed up, I mean just setting across from that person, knowing that they showed up at this really uncomfortable session with you and they're in it and they're not you know, that's that was huge for me. Just the fact that he showed up, that was like, Okay, that means a lot just being there.
And also I tend to focus on the financial and I don't know if you do that too, but I've been so worried about our money being right and budgeting and staying on budget for the wedding, and you know, we're very healthy financially. But then it's like, okay, so
how is our relationship doing throughout all of this? And it's been nice to just focus on that, just you know, that personal aspect, and I'm sure they'll find some psychological reasons why I'm so obsessed with money too and how that influences the relationship, but I think it's money well spent. And if you're wondering the cost of the sessions, I actually negotiated because neither of our insurance, first of all,
go to your insurance. Neither of our insurance insurance covers this type of counseling, which so means we had to
pay out of pocket. But a lot of therapists will do a sliding scale, so we're getting we our sessions are one fifty per session, and they are therapists typically charges three hundred, and so when she found out that we actually, what I did is I was like, I was really looking to spend one fifty and she said, okay, that's what she said after she initially said three hundreds, she said, yeah, I usually do a sliding scale for
people who don't have who insurance won't cover. I do one seventy five and I said, I'm we're looking to do one fifty, and she said okay, And she's on the she's not old, she's not young. So I think I got someone who's like in the middle, the middle of the you know, younger people tend to charge less and old or more established. Some people were quoting us four hundred, five hundred dollars a session, like crazy, So one fifty. I can live with a couple every couple
of weeks before the wedding and then I don't. I don't know how long we're going to do it. We haven't signed a contract. I guess just until you know, we decide to take a break.
That's good.
I know we said for this this week. I know normally we do our tips tips, but I think for tips. I'm just going to give you guys an update because so many of you tweeted me saying, oh, no, I haven't heard about the house. Guess you didn't get it. I'm like, well, aren't you, guys, dark dark Danita's right, it's not a microwave.
He can't just press two minutes and have a house.
They're like, didn't hear from you? Oh? Next time?
I'm like, now, actually, what happened was, you know, we put the offer in, they accepted the offer, and then we entered into attorney review, which usually only lasts a couple of days, but our attorney review is a little bit longer.
Wait just sorry, just so back up, and like, so, where were you at in the house in the buying process For people who may not remember or haven't heard about the hull saga yet.
The last time we spoke, I spoke about, you know, really wanting to buy investment property with Superman and to get him because I have the budget nee son my business, and I really wanted him to have additional income outside of his normal job.
And so he works for the.
City and he does like like maintenance and repair and stuff like that for like housing, he does like three hundred units, and I was like, you know, you should own property because you're basically like a landlord for three hundred units.
You know, why not own property. It can't be harder than what you're doing now.
And so at first he's a little opposed to it, but then I helped him get his credit. I'm really strong and like about the seven fifty range. I showed him how to save automatically and so for the three years that we were dating, he's been saving and his credit has been growing. And then this year I was like, you know, or really late last year, I said, you know, we should really look into homes and let's at least explore what that would mean.
And so we did.
We started shopping for pre qualifications, and so the part in the process where we are now was that we were home shopping.
And it was hard at first because.
Newark, where we want to live and where we currently live, now it's starting to shift and people are starting to really take notice. It's becoming like the new Brooklyn, where basically you know it undesirable and now it's becoming very desirable.
But a whole Food's just opened last week, so.
That's like really telling, you know, we've got a Starbucks places that normally would not be.
In NewYork when you get a Trader Joe's.
So we went house shopping. We found this house that I absolutely loved, and we put an offer in and so the people that were selling it it was a three family house, and they priced it really low, and really I know why they priced it low. They priced it low so that way they could get a lot of interest and like basically like a bidding we're going which is what happened. So we ended up paying almost one hundred thousand dollars over the zoo.
Yeah, the pre but honestly that's what we ended up. What we ended up.
Offering is what the house is worth, basically, because there's no way that it was worth what they said when literally there were two families that weren't finished like this one was, that were twenty to thirty thousand dollars.
More So, we we found a house that we really liked. It was a three family.
They priced it way below what it was worth, and we ended up getting into a bidding war, and at one point they were like, okay, everyone who's interested, give your best and finals the next day.
So we did. After consulting with.
Like all of my my lawyer friends, my real estate agent friends, we put an offer in about like ninety thousand dollars over the asking and because after looking at the comparables in the area, you.
Know, to see like what other houses of that level of.
That unit we're going for, we bid below that but still like in that range, and we got it.
Yes, we weren't even the highest bid.
It was just that we were other people bid, but their financing wasn't as clean as ours, meaning that some people were like, oh, I'm going to get fifty thousand dollars from my cousin Joe, twenty thousands from the bank, sixty thousand from this other bank, whereas us, we were just like, here's our down payment and here's the one bank we're using. So they went with us because it was like a solid deal, a solid plans.
Yeah, and so we las thank you.
And at first I was like yeah, and then you find out yeah, but you still have to go through attorney review.
You're like, oh, what does that mean?
So attorney review is when after they accept your offer, then your attorney draws up a contract and their attorney has to sign it. So everyone obviously each attorney is working on behalf of their client. So we tell our attorney, hey, put these things in the contract, like.
Well, buy the house.
As long as there's no foundation issues, there's no roof issues.
So there's a list of things that you can put in. You can put it in whatever you want.
You could say there has to be you know, a puppy, you know in the at the front of pork.
But then they have like twelve golden doodles exactly.
But so you put these things in and we were pretty extensive about the things that we wanted, like, you know, making sure that it's there because it's an older home. So oftentimes older homes have oil tanks. That's the way they used to heat them. And so if there's an oil tank, they have to remove it. And if they remove it, they have to remove it in alignment with state guideline and get the ground tested to make sure
it's not contaminated. So we had that in our contract, and sure enough, there was an.
Oil tank.
And just things like that, like so things to protect you because once you leave attorney review, you cannot if you don't buy the house, they can keep your deposit because you know, the contract binds you to buy it unless something is not met within that contract. So that contract is really important. So attorney review can happen really quickly, or it could take some times because the lawyer can go the lawyers go back and forth, and I'm happy to say as of today, woo woo, we're out of
attorney review. They agree to all our concerns and demands, and so that means they cannot legally sell to anyone else. And because as soon as if you're not out of attorney review, they can technically technically be like no, never mind, we're going to sell it to somebody else. So now that we're out of attorney review, it's time for inspectors. So I spent the day on the phone today interviewing home inspectors.
So are used to.
Find a really great because you want a home inspector that's really thorough because you have two weeks fourteen days after attorney review to get your inspection done, So you want an inspector that's thorough and it's going to give you your your report very quickly. So I was just interviewing some inspectors. We found a really great one using yelp.
Oh okay mm hmm.
And because I had posted on my social media and a few people gave me some suggestions, and some of their suggestions like like, I googled them and I looked them up and I.
Was like, he's got one star reviews? What?
And one of them was really great, Like his name was Nick, and I yelped him and googled him whatever, he had five star reviews across the board on every platform. Yeah, so I was really happy, and I heard that he uses new technology, like he uses a drone so he doesn't actually have to step on your roof.
He will, you know, like look at your roof with a drone so he doesn't mess it up.
Just like, I'm just really excited because once we get the inspection, we're working now on what's called the mortgage commitment letter. That's when because your bank says, yes, you're prequalified, but it doesn't mean that they promised give you money.
The commitment letter is the promise to lend you the money.
But they are not going to create a commitment letter until you're under contract, which is.
What we are now. So then the bank will issue a commitment letter.
They will send out an appraiser to say yes, the house is actually worth what you're paying, or it's not, it's worth more, it's worth less in our contract. This is why the attorney review is important in the contract. If the house is worth less than what we've offered, then we could walk away or they could drop the price.
So that was important to.
Us because we don't want to We don't want to be stuck saying, hey, you know, we offered three three twenty the house is appraising at three hundred, we still have to.
Buy it at three twenty now, right, yeah, you know, so there's little things like that.
And so, so what happened when you had to raise the price asking price to ninety thousand? Did you have to go get qualified, like get a letter from the bank saying they'd a preview for that much or we already approved for that much.
Well?
I called him and I said, hey, David from M ANDT Bank, that's our mortgage guy said, hey, you know the house is going to go for more. He was one of the people I called for advice. I said, okay, the house is listed for three two thirty nine. I know it's not worth two thirty nine because all the other houses we were looking at were mostly two families and they were going for two fifty and that's not
that's that wasn't that was a fixture upper house. So a two family, two fifty fixture upper in the same neighborhood, and this three family completely done was two thirty nine, so, you know, twenty thousand dollars less. So I knew something was up, and it was, like I said, to generate interest. So when I told him, he said, okay, let's go over the math. And so he said, how much is
the house bringing in? And I told him one unit is bringing in one thousand and fifty, one units bringing in sixteen hundred, so twenty six fifty is what the unit is, what the house is currently making, and one unit is empty for us to live in.
And he was like, okay, well, at.
Two thirty nine, with the current interest rate, your insurance, and all of your home costs except for your utilities, two thirty nine, I think our mortgage was going to be like like eighteen hundred or nineteen hundred, something like that. And I said, okay, well, what would the mortgage be at three hundred thousand? What would the mortgage be at two eighty?
At three? You know, so I could see what the numbers would be.
And so at three thirty, so about about one hundred thousand dollars more three thirty, the mortgage would have been twenty four including insurance and everything would have been twenty four hundred, So still two hundred and fifty dollars less than what the what it was bringing in as far as as far as income. And so we decided to put the bid in for three twenty and at three twenty. I think our mortgage is like twenty one or twenty two hundred dollars something.
Like that thirty year fixed rate.
Uh huh, thirty year fixed rate.
And what I like about M ANDT Bank is like, right now, I don't know how long it'll be, but right now MMT bank is giving six percent toward closing costs, and so what we're going to use some of those closing costs for up to up to about almost nineteen thousand dollars, and so we're already at the next So basically we're going to get like nineteen thousand dollars that we can use how.
We want for closing.
So we're going to use some of those closing costs money of course for like the appraisal and stuff like that, but we're also going to use it to pay down our interest rate. So that way, our monthly payment is even lower because you can actually buy what they call points, and points are the points to bring down your interest rate.
So if the interest rate is four point five percent, you might be able to spend five to ten thousand dollars to bring it to four percent, And a four percent interest rate will lower your monthly payment by I don't know, like one hundred, two hundred dollars something like that, you know, depending on how much to hops you're buying.
So that's where we are right now, that we're getting the house inspected, waiting for the commitment letter, waiting for the appraisal, and then after that, really it's just you close. And so that's where we are. We're like just one step closer. I mean, this house is awesome. I mean, I cannot express how excited I am to get a piece of a city that I see that it's really on the come up, and the low location is amazing.
The units are beautiful, and.
The lot, the plot for it to be a double lot, and for us to have like our own park in the back, that's our property. It's just this is a this is a our not for our forever house, but definitely our forever investment house.
Live in the dream.
Yeah, So all we do is when when when, no matter what, I hate to rush, but I'm like, oh, I'm.
Not hey, it wasn't me talking.
I was looking. I was like, Kennedy, shut up, all right, yes, So what I'm trying to think, who is my win? You go first?
I can go first. So I want to give a shout out to Delta's first black female captain, airline captain, Miss Stephanie Johnson, who I read about last week on NBC. So she's been an airline pilot for twenty years. I don't think I've ever had a female airline. I would love to have a female pilot going. When I get on a plane, they're always like white dudes. But I digress. She's been a pilot for twenty years, and she officially became the first black female captain in twenty sixteen, and
it's just now getting into the news. She was also the first in her family to graduate from college, she says, and she just looks at me. She says that as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated with airplanes, and I would think what a great thing it would be to know how to fly. And look at you now, Stephanie. So I'm really excited for her. And hey, girl, I hope I see you on a flight soon. Do you try to Atlanta?
I don't know the Delta fly, you know, how kind of do what? I don't know that I've ever from Delta. Isn't that weird?
I'm an Atlanta girls? A Delta's my jam. Oh really Yeah, Delta owns Atlanta.
That's like Nework, like United owns a Newark.
There's tons of Delta flights out of Newark. I think they're they're they're getting up there with with United right now at Newark. Depends on like what chub you live by, but yeah, adults is pretty big.
Okay, I'm not gonna lie.
I'm like, I forgot about Wins. I'll just say I went to my new niece that's coming soon.
I said, I saw the picture.
Yeah, she's just about nine months, Like that wasn't her nine?
Whoa? Okay, I didn't know that your sister was off far along.
Yeah, she's like any day now. So every time I see her, I'm like today today. So I'm super excited because I have a nephew, my same sister.
She's number two.
Yeah for her, And I'm like, so he's like one and a half going on eighty five some days, I's like a little old man, and so I'm all, I'm gonna it's really I'm really curious to see his reaction when she comes, cause, like I'm like, doesn't he seem find it strange that you have like a big stomach all of a sudden, and she was like, you know what's hilarious is that, Like he'll he'll sit down next to her and put his head on her stomach and the baby will kick and he'llok at her stomach like, hey,
what are you doing?
Was it one and a half?
Yeah?
So you know he doesn't quite like you know, because kids would quite get it. Yeah, not at all.
And so I'm like, when this baby comes, he's gonna be like, oh, look a baby. Wait, this baby's here every day. Every day.
They treat it sort of because I call them my cousins now. But they listen to the show, Hey Danny Nosora, they have a really cute two year old and they just had a baby girl. And after a while he's like, so she's staying. Yeah, she's not just here for the weekend. They get that eventually that this person's permanent.
Yeah. Yeah, that is gonna be so cut to watch.
Like, oh, because he likes kids, like you know, he sees other little kids, he lights up.
But I feel like he's gonna be like, why is she sleeping here? Wait?
So why are you holding her all the time? Wait a minute? So, yeah, it'll be curious to see. So, yeah, that's my win, my little baby cousin, my baby cousin niece.
I'm super excited. So we've got a nephew and a niece.
And I'm gonna have to do a baby shout out too because our friends Josh and Tera had a baby a month early. This baby came like what six weeks early, but he was a little baby Oliver, but he was a big boy for being a premiu. I think he was born at close to seven pounds.
Wow.
But Tera is one of those girls who's like super super tiny. And we went to her baby shower a little while ago and I was like, so, you're due tomorrow, right, because this is just logistically with the space available, there's just I'm worried for you because she's so tiny.
There's no room.
There's just where where.
Is this baby? But I'm just so happy. It was a it was a long, like kind of slightly stressful experience for them being you know, delivering early. So I'm just really happy with the baby's home now. He had to spend about a week at the hospital. So they're home, they're healthy, they're happy. I'm so happy for them. So love to you. Guys and all the babies out there.
Yeah, baby baby, I'm like, who nervous? Because she did all natural, like no drugs last time.
So how was that? She was like, Yeah, by the time I got there, it was too late. I was like, are you sure.
Not too late to whack me upside the head?
Right? She said she did even though she was in labor.
Her husband, what point can you drink? Is it safe yet? I mean they're coming out.
Right exactly like you don't need you don't need for me to be clean on the inside. She said she thought she had like indigestion because she had like Jamaican food and she was like, who I should have never had that Jamaican food.
And her husband, who's a doctor, is like, I'm pretty sure you're in labor. She's like, I'm not. It's indigestion. He's like, okay, He's like, that's the one that's called the contraction.
She was like, wait, heartburn or childbirth?
Yes? Either one. Oh. Thanksba listeners, you guys are always the best.
This the ones we can't even see right now. Yeah, thank you guys, and thank you for all the love you have boosted us on the iTunes. Just like we asked you to continue to send us your love. Go to iTunes, go to brand Ambition Podcasts dot com to find all our links to where you can find the show, and leave us for reviews SoundCloud, Stitcher World. We'll take anything. Thank you for all the support. But that sound too desperate. That's cool, didn't come off. Let all got it? Okay, sorry about that.