And we hit it from the back. I don't know why that song can't to mine hitting it from the back just because I wanted to say we're back.
But I ran home so fast tonight because I realized I really miss you.
I get did it honestly want first of all, your curls. I know the kids don't say on bleak anymore since you're the millennial. You have to tell you like what the new word is. But you had like a side profile picture with like your curls. I was like, look at Mandy mastering the curls.
Oh yes, so much has happened since we were last on air. It's only been a couple of weeks, but I feel like lives have been changed. Jewelry has been adorning fingers in certain places. My hair has been has come out of the closet as a curly curl power. But forget my hair for a second. I want to hear about your news because I don't know if these Brown Ambition listeners have been under a rock. But Tivity has some news for us.
So Superman has officially asked me to be Superwoman.
Oh that's okay, Wait a second, No, you definitely need to have like a cake topper of Superman and Superwoman.
Right now, so I'll tell you how it is so typical, tell me the story. So he had the ring, which we all kind of know. I don't know if we kept that part in where I said I kind of saw the ring beforehand. No.
No, So people who are listening have no idea of these current events.
So it worked out what happened earlier. After I got back from FINCN, the financial blogger conference that me and Maydie always talking about that you don't probably care about. I came home, he wasn't home, and I saw a white box on the dresser, So I was like, what's this white box? So I opened the white box and inside it was a ring box, and I said shut up, and good Tiffany on one shoulder said don't you open it? But then real realistic Tiffany was like, giry been opened
that box? And I did, and I took a quick peek and I closed it because I was like, wait, I would be surprised. And then I was like, wait, I don't know if I like it, And then me and Mandy talked about like it was too late.
Well wait a second, let's talk about why he left it out in the open.
He totally forgot because I wasn't home, so I don't know if he was like showing one of his guy friends. So now he's told me since then that he had bought it like a month or so prior, so it wasn't like he. I thought maybe he bought it when I was away at FENCN since NCON was in California house for a week and so, but no, he bought it a while before, and so I don't know if he took it out to look at it or whatever. But he cleaned up, and you know, I guess he
just forgot it on the dresser. Meanwhile, we you know, we have like our side of the dresser. It was my side of the dressing by my jewelry. Bo.
He got real comfortable while you were gone for some times. Isn't that sweet?
Though?
I feel like part of the romance of the proposal isn't like how they ask, but it's knowing that they had their ring for a certain amount of time and all this time they knew they were gonna.
That's what's I thought. I was like, Oh, like I said, I didn't know all this then, so I was like, oh, my god. And then I was like, wait, I wish I was. I realized he was going to come home soon, so I did not dare open the box again. I put it back and I left. And when I was leaving and then coming back in, he was coming back in as well. So we kind of entered the house together and he thought I was just getting back. So we get upstairs and I, you know, pretended to see
the ring box. Were not the ring box. It was just a white box for the first time, and I was like, what's that and he said oh, and he grabbed it and he said, supergirl. I won't say her real name, his daughter. She's always leaving stuff in the room. He pretended like it was a regular box and threw it in the garbage and I was like.
Why that was a little muney doing the most mandy.
Oh my god.
He's like, well, this is invaluable. I'm throwing it away.
So I go upstairs. I go outstairs to get something to drink. I guess I was like, let me give him a chance to collect himself come back out. And I realized, like, okay, I looked at the white box later and it was empty. So he took out the ring from the white box and seems, you know, because Supergirl is always leaving, like she's always getting like stuff from Claire's and stuff, so it wasn't a crazy story. And so then I waited and I was like, oh,
my birthday's come in now, y'all. I know, like, if you are a BA listener, you know that I've already claimed that on my birthday October sixteenth, which is just a couple of days ago, that's when my engagement was going to happen heapily. So Supergirl's birthday was October first, and my friends came and my best friend Drina came, and Drina said, let me be cause I was like, Drina, I'm not sure if I liked the ring. I didn't get a good look at it, but I think I
don't like it. And she was like, girl, it's too late, too late. You had all the time to get put your order in and you did not. And now I'm like, but I'm not sure, and she's like, I'll take a look out. Let me speak to him, let me see like where he's at with this, and so she, I guess, like you know, pulled him to the side at Supergrowth birthday party and they had a chat and she was just like, so, when are you gonna make an official with my bestie? And he was like, oh, I got
a rent, got the ring? Do you want to see it? This is what she's telling me later after the engagement has already gone through. Do you want to see it? And she tells him yes, and she said, you know, he showed her. She loved it. She's very particular. She's like, she loved it.
He had it in his pocket at the party.
Yes, he was going to ask me at her party. And she was like, if you ask her at Supergrowth birthday.
Party, now you've done that, I forgive you. She came to the rescue on that one. That's that's like she's almost as bad as asking at someone else's wedding exactly.
And so she was like do not. He was like really, And cause she told him, don't ask on Tippany's birthday because Nosey Wolsey just knows she's going to get engaged on her birthday. Don't do it. Do it as a complete surprise. You pick whatevery day, not today. And so when I asked her later, like so what happened, she
was like girl, I don't know. I didn't get to really chance to get a chance to speak with him, so she kept it as a surprise for me too, and I was like, oh great, So I already had in my mind that was gonna happen on my birthday. And I was leaving for Paris on the fourth a few days later, because I always take myself on the epic birthday trip and this year, I took it a whole week earlier because I'm gonna get asked my birthday. You see how I am just concume, just.
Left a window for your birthday. Yes, the day you were so sure.
Literally planned the whole trip around the fact that I'm getting.
My ring on my birthday, So you were real sure of yourself that day.
He had such an attitude, like I was packing and I'm like, what is his problem? He had such like this weird attitude. My best friend Linda came just to like my other best friend Linda came to see me off, just to say bye, and like, I didn't know you just acting weird. I didn't know that he was waiting for his moment. Yes, And I was like, what is his problem? Is it? Because I'm leaving I'm always traveling. I'm always leaving a mess.
Like whenever I travel, I like throw everything out, like on the couches and everything, and I pick what I need and then I leave everything. That's just my way. I was like, is he mad about the mess? I always leave a mess. So he's taking me to my friend Madeline's house, who I'm traveling with, and we're waiting for the uber to take us to JFK and he's like, so you're gonna go to Paris with all the John Paul's and Pierre's and Jean Luke's And I was just
like what. By then, I was just annoyed because I'm like, you know what, you have an attitude. I don't even want to deal. And he was just like, are you gonna come back? And I said, I'm feel bad about it now, I said maybe not not with this attitude you have. I'm being so fien like, so you're not gonna come back? I said now? And I said, well, of course I'm gonna come back. I live here, you know, like no, no, no. By then I was so annoyed
because I'm like, what is this deal? And then like I'm about to walk away and he grabbed my hand and he was like, babe, you know I want you to come back. I said, well, okay, you know, and he said no because and then he just starts stuttering, which is not like him, because when you come back, you know, I want you to be my wife, you know,
so be cause yeah. I'm like and I'm thinking he's just saying in general because we always talk about marriage, and I was like, okay, yeah, and he says no, and he reaches into his pocket and like shows the ring box, and I thought that he was like saying, when you get back, I have a ring for you. And I was thinking to myself, this is not romantic. This is not how he's doing. And then I went to walk away, like really, do that's the ring box?
And then I realized, wait, is it happening? So he gets that on one need, I'm like wait, I'm in my sweat.
Wait, this is so painful and awesome because you were still so sure that you were right up until the moment. Even when he pulled out the box. You're like, no, but you're behind. You're like ahead of schedules next week.
I don't like to hear my friend Madeline saying are you kidding gays, and she's like with her, with her like with her cell phone, try to capture it all. And the it was night because our flight was at eleven thirty at night, trying to capture it all. And I was like, wait, wait all all I hear myself saying is wait wait wait. He's like he doesn't even know what this. He's on one knee, like the happiest man in the world.
That's cool, hard concrete, I know.
I said yes, and then I cried, and then we kissed and then we hugged, and I was just like and then I looked at the ring for the first time and I was like, I do really love it. It's literally so perfectly me. And I was just like, wow, I love it. All that stress, all of that like angst, and since then it's just been really great. I mean, outside of everybody pressuring us about what day, what time, when, when babies?
You know, oh my god, yeah yeah you're going now, yeah, enjoy enjoy.
I know. I was just like, he's like, he's like, I almost regret posting it on social media just to let people know, he said, because my phone has been ringing off the hook, and his soul Supergirl was like not too happy because she felt like she should have been there directing, directing the She was like, but I was in the car. Why didn't you call me? I wanted to see.
Oh she Oh yeah, I would have been cute. It sounds like, but in the end it sounds really sweet.
Yeah, it was really. Honestly, it was perfect and it was perfectly us and it was just nice. He's just like, you know, you're going to the City of Love and I want you to go knowing that someone loves you and wants you to be his wife, and I just yeah, So it's just been great, honestly, Like he's really like my match. I mean, if I had to draw out on paper personality wise and stuff like you know what the type of man that not only do I want,
but do I need? You know, as far as like being able to deal with me and all of mine, like so on my birthday, my ring, like all of that.
It sounds like a saint. You're about to You're about to hop in the uber and be like, I don't want to not with that ads.
I know.
Poor guys, like what.
You know, the Uper drivers are only supposed to wait a minute or two so I was like, oh, I'm sorry. He's like, yeah, I saw you a little busy because it was like in the light of the uber car, the uber.
Head like mee uber drivers see. It was nice that you had witnesses.
It was so yeah. So that's incing. And the ring.
You didn't see the ring in the context of the man you love, you know, holding it in front of you. Originally it's different. It's just a ring on a countertop.
You know, exactly, versus like, you know, really just being like because it's very clear just from the ring that what he picked out, it's just so perfectly me. It's
just simple. It's just one stone, and because I don't even really wear jewelry quite honestly, and so it's just it's just me when you know, when I see it time I look at it, I think to myself, it was so weird being in France, like with an on, Like, was it weird when you first put it on that You're just like, what's this thing on my hand?
What I can tell you is that today I forgot it at home because I take it off when I do my hair because there's so much gook on my hands, you know, and I forgot it at home and all day like a dork, I kept like trying to go play with it and it wasn't there, and I had like this quick like a miniature little panic attack, where's the ring? Because the first place, the first time you misplace it, you'll like lose your mind and like that always that fear is always with me. But it's weird.
It's gotten to a point where, yeah, it's when I don't have it on it, it feels like there should be something there, which is just bizarre.
It just feels weird to think like I mean, because you know, we lived together, so I didn't think anything of it because not like life has changed. But then just like recently, I was thinking, like, yo, Superman is gonna be my husband, like my husband, not my boyfriend, not the boyfriend I lived with, Like I'm gonna have a husband, Like when did I become an adult?
You know, wait before I did. If you don't have it together, I know, it doesn't hope For me.
It just feels I mean, you know, it feels right, and it feels good, but it just feels so so so adults, Like you know, there are moments in the life.
I know what you're talking about for sure.
You know, it's like when you pay taxes for the first time, or like when you you know, you do something like really responsible, like make your first dentists appointment without your mom.
You know, you're like, it kind of feels like when you know they did the rug Rats all growed up. Yeah, so that's how I felt like I went to this. I've been to three weddings this fall, three weddings in one month, month and a half. We just went to a wedding this weekend. My college friend Julie got married. And yeah, you're like, you're sitting in the all it just feels like we're all playing dress up, like we're all adults today. We're all doing our hair and makeup
and we're gonna go watch our friends get married. But it's like they're on the playground and it's doesn't it doesn't feel real. It feels like we are wearing like adult costumes and underneath were just all little babies.
Yeah. I still feel like that, and because there's still adult conversations like like, Prena, do we do that? Do people do that? Do regular people do that? Just like even I didn't even you know, we didn't even talk about wedding dates, and I was just like, well, what just just recently, like he and I are both so like chill when it comes to that part. And I was just like, cause, honestly, I don't really want like
a like a wedding wedding. I mean, truthfully, we could go to Justice of the Piece and tonight and be done with it. But at the same time, I feel like he, you know, kind of wants a wedding. So I'm definitely open to that's how it's done. I don't I don't want You're going.
To be a client feld within two months. I guarantee you're going to be saying yes to something that's too yep.
And I'm just like ah, So it's just like these things. And then my dad called. I mean, of course I call all my sisters and my parents and stuff like that, and so there's like traditional Nigerian things that like my dad wants him to do, and I'm.
Like, well, oh, I've been to a Nigerian wedding.
Oh boy, yeah, we're we're there. He's going to get one thing, and so I have to go meet with my dad and to have like a pre chat of like well, this like, what, tell me the list of Nigerian things that are part of part equal culture, and we will make a list of the things that I think, you know, and bring them. I'll bring it back to Jurell because honestly, I don't even want all of everything. I mean, I know some people are like, no, it's part of your culture. Yeah it is, but I would
like to keep it as simple as possible. So I want to look at that list of kind of things and say yes to these and no to this, and so that we we're both really comfortable because you know, he's not Nigerian and that's fine, you know. And so yeah, so there's just like little things like that that definitely
were like instant stress, you know. And then people just hitting me up on social media saying I'd love to design your dress, so I'd love to do your hair and makeup, and I'd love to you know, it sounds great. It is nice that people have offered, but it was just so much that it was overwhelming, you know.
Yeah, well you just have to take a step back and just enjoy being engaged. And that's what it's just about, you two. You know, those people aren't going to be there when you guys are, you know, on your fifth year together and you're fighting over what movie you're going to watch, you like hate each other, like they're not going to be there, then.
You know, I know, so I just and that's what I felt like, I'm not gonna lie so like in France, in Paris, I got to enjoy that. But when I got home, when I actually announced it publicly, like then
I felt like, oh gosh, so many people. I felt like it wasn't as enjoyable, not because of him, but just because it's like outside kind of like influence, and I'm like, okay, so but now it's kind of settled down a little bit now that I've kind of like it's kind of out, you know, Okay, that's good somebody actually, because we didn't tag each other on purpose on social media, just because like I'll give you an example, I posted the fact that I was engaged in the DreamCatcher group
and ten thousand likes, and so I didn't want to tag him because I just didn't want the curious eyes all on his page look through his picture, you know, And so I told him even when he even when he you know, put it on his page, I was like, you know, you don't have to tag me. I just don't. That's an extra added element of stalkerism from like exes and all that kind of stuff. And so many people hit me up and they're like, so I see that
Superman said he's engaged. Did he ask you? So many people were like unsure whether or not it was me. Was like, yes, yes, yes, it was me, Like ooh girl, because I was like, wow, that would be awkward.
Either I'm really excited or I'm really sad for you.
I know. It was weird for the exes to reach out congratulations like I'm my page and on my wall. I'm like, oh, okay.
Speaking of adulthood. Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was my But my birthday was good, like we went to it was nice, no pressure. We went to go see Aladdin, which was awesome. It was a surprise. It was so good. Honestly, it was on part with with Lion King last year.
I'm not gonna lie, I might have enjoyed a lotten more than Lion King.
I'm not gonna lie.
Want to say it was more fun, you know, it's just no one's father died in a stampede. It was just like more enjoyable and the genie was amazing.
The genie was amazing. I just even he enjoyed it more. I was like, you said that was a lot of fun. I'm like, it was right, you.
So much fun. I just grew like a stupid idiot the whole time. Yep, I don't want to go see again. Actually, matter of fact, I just might go seed again. Well, congratulations, big congratulations, Thank you for everybody can't wait to pesture you about all your wedding details. Take him a spotlight off?
Yeah, how was London in the Cursed? What is the Harry Potter and the Child?
Yeah? Speaking of Broadway nerds, So my little brother and I I've never gone, and also speaking of being an adult and feeling like how did we get to this point? My younger brother and I, who I swear to God, was just like four years old yesterday is a grown man and we planned last year to on a whim. There's this Harry Potter play coming out in the UK. He and I are huge fat Harry Potter nerds. It was like the one thing that bonded us as children.
We watched we read all the books like crazy people who watched all the movies, and when this play was coming out, I was like, we gotta go, we gotta go to London, and so a year ago I bought the tickets and then it was just sort of a waiting game and we actually, you know, we really followed through. We booked the flights, we booked this brother sister trip and it was I mean, it was it was like far exceeded my expectations. Like I loved I've never traveled
with my little brother before. He's he's something age differences, like four and a half years. So when we were when we were kids, it was enough to like make us mortal enemies, but at scrown ups, it's just fun. Like he's just a cool dude.
You know, he looks like Drake. That doesn't hurt hurt.
Yeah, he looks like Drake.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know he doesn't get that at all. Ever, yes he does. Even in the UK he got a little bit. But uh yeah. The play itself was I mean, I'm not gonna boy with with the details. It was a five hour play in two parts, so we were basically out at the theater from for eight hours in total with breaks and stuff. It was it was intense and very nerdy, and yeah, that's about it, all all boring with un details. But other than that, like, I love London. We got we got so lucky. We had
amazing weather, people were really nice to us. I know you didn't like it, but yeah, I just think it was the fact that we went there with a specific event we were going to, and as long as that event went well, then everything else was just icing.
You know.
We did like the Harry Potter studio tour, and we saw all the side and we just ate really good food and I mean, I couldn't have asked for a better time. It was like, but yeah, it was trippy traveling with my with my baby brother, it was, but it was good. It's the kind of thing I hope we can do, you know, even when we get older and life gets more complicated and everyone's like, what your fiancee didn't go And I'm like, no, it's okay. You don't have to travel with Bee all the time. They
can stay home sometimes. Also, Bee is not into Harry Potter, so he wouldn't have understand. He would have hated his life.
I'm actually good on that thing.
I'm good. Yeah, But what else has been happening in the world in the last two weeks. So Solanja's new album came out, everyone lost their damn minds.
I'm gonna say that although I.
Liked it, he weren't gonna like it.
You knew, said you knew I wasn't gonna like it, even though you.
Just said although I liked it, you didn't like. Tell the truth.
I mean it, I don't. I guess you know what it is. I'm sorry because I know all the soul systems are like Tiffany, don't do it. Okay, So I said I did not hate it. I did not. I did like it, but I was expecting to roll my body in it, love it, slide against the wall, and I didn't get that. And I know I have to sit and listen, like really to the lyrics really closely, and I'm sure because some albums really grow on me.
But I listened to it about three times all the way through, and I was like, Okay, I like it, but you know, because everyone was like, it's everything. It is the blood of Jesus's Man of Bread, it is life, it is death, it is everything in between. And I was just like, I mean, I liked it, but it's not like, you know, I don't know. I think.
I think the album it's one of those albums. It's not like Lemonade, Like it's not going to immediately pull you in and give you this like visceral you know, physical reaction to the music and be instantly catchy and poppy. Because although that album was like really intense, I mean, it still had really catchy lyrics and catchy R and B and pop like hip hop beats and stuff. So Long is just like pure R and B soul and
kind of folky like on a different level. So yeah, it is the kind of music where you have to kind of like sit with it and like really get deep in your feelings and take time, which I kind of like about it because it's not you know how, when's the last time I took time and listened to an album when I wasn't doing a million other things at the same time.
No, No, true, And I feel like that that it is. That's why I said, I'm like, it reminds me kind of like because like, I love Blau He's like one of my favorites, but he's not one of those albums that you listen to, you like for the most part, and you're like, yes, get it. It really is like this sit you really listen, listening to the lyrics, feeling it, and I feel like I haven't really had a chance to sit with it in that kind of way, in
this kind of meditative state. So som like I said, I didn't hate it, but I just it was not like, you know, it was not Coco Butter for my ash.
I think a lot of the messages people were just hungry for or they're hungry for an artist. You know, people give Beyonce a lot of flak for not speaking out on Black Lives Matter and all these issues that have come out, and Lemonade was sort of a couple of the songs in Lemonade were sort of an answer to that. But you know, I feel like Solanges was just like purely you know, addressing these issues, talking about
about brutality, talking about inequality. She had these great you know that great was it an intro or an outro where her mom is talking about Miss Tina Knowles was talking about, you know, loving being a black woman and you know, not understanding when people not understanding, when people don't want to celebrate or when people misinterpret a celebration of blackness as a yeah, anti white sentiment or something
like that. I love and I feel like Cranes. So Cranes was a song that everyone just like lost their shit over.
You know.
Cranes is the song where it's like she tried to drink it alway. Sorry, I'm really messing, but she's She's talking about trying to drink away her pain, sex away her pain, spend away her pain. And she actually wrote the song eight years ago. I read that she I read an article or she posted on a Instagram or something. She wrote it eight years ago, which predates all this. I think black lives black lives matter movement, and it's just she pulled it out and made it. It's so
relevant for I feel like today's issues. But when you really look at the what the song is, I think it could apply to any situation where you're going through like an emotional struggle and you do everything in your power to try and bury it. You know, you do try and go to the mall, make yourself feel better, have a cocktail, make yourself feel better, you know, find yourselves in the arms of someone who's not worth your
time trying to make yourself feel better. I think it's just it's kind of like if this album had come at any other time, if she had released it eight years ago, I don't think it would have had agreed the impact that it has now but today, and I feel like her timing is amazing, you know, number one album, Yeah, and.
You know it just it's just nice too that Solange, because you know, Beyonce is like, you know, the the one that people celebrate most when it comes to a duo of them. But I just think it's nice that Solange.
You know, she could have been crazy. Come on, Beyonce's little sister had every right to be insane. And she's amazing.
Yeah. So yeah, I mean, I mean, speaking of you know, black women being by, I mean, did you check out our first lady on the cover was a New York Times.
It just it just came out today, and yeah, that was like one of my top things I wanted to talk about, Oh Times on the start, what is it the magazine? It's the magazine, right but you can see it online right now.
I mean honestly it honestly, if you don't think Michelle Obama is like just so classically beautiful, yeah, she might not be like a just I can't even say that. She looks so beautiful. I was like, look at miss Ship. Well, I'm sorry, missus Obama. Let me not be disrespectful because she is salalaying, I mean ptograss. Yeah, she just took everyone's edges and used them to wipe the bottom of her shoe and then gave it disrespectfully.
Well, I think it's a talented for talking. I mean, those those types of photo shoots. I've been on a couple of those. They're very difficult. I mean, and if you've ever been like, if you ever even had headshots taken, it's really awkward.
You know.
It takes a lot for a photographer to get the kind of images that really exposed like the truth of what someone is. And you can see these photos of Michelle. They're all close up, black and white images. She looks every every adjective you've ever used to describe Michelle, soft, elegant, powerful, intelligent.
Beautiful, gorge careful, you.
Just everything of course in the beauty too, but everything just sort of came out. It was It's just it was almost like a celebration and of the complexity of Michelle and the fact that and you know, I've read all the essays and what. So basically the cover story is a group of four essays written by a couple of well, four prominent figures in literature. Well I don't know if well, okay, so Glorious dynam is one feminist icon.
Chimamanda Ago, she can I say that wrong? Okay? She was another, and then Rashida Jones, the actress, and then the guy, the last guy, John Meacham, He's a Pulitzer
Prize winning writer. But they were all sort of essay essays reflecting on Michelle and I think they all celebrated the complexity of her and like how a lot of people in America haven't allowed her to be complex, Like haven't allowed her to be strong but then also soft and funny, but then also serious and intelligent, but then you know, self deprecating, and she's she's sort of been and handled it so well, all this you know, bias in the media, and like all these stereotypes and some
thinly veiled and some not so thinly veiled criticisms racial criticisms against her and the way she handles herself and just it was just like, look at this woman and how She's emerged over the last eight years unscathed.
Which is so crazy because I mean, honestly, like the way the media and just people in general have I mean, people who are not Michelle Obama fans have treated her. It's just it's crazy because when you think about it, I mean, you have never seen her slip eight years.
I mean you would have caught like a neck roll at some point, like you know what, you know, one of those like it's funny, how that is never you know, that's like, oh, and as much as they have pushed it to the brain because you know, they act as if black women, as if black women can't be complex creatures like that. I can't be ratchet but sophisticated. I can't be like if I express that I'm frustrated. Oh she's angry, I'm like, no, girl, like you, you were rude.
I'm allowed to feel and say you're rude and still be smiling and kind and yeah. I just literally unscathed, which is just remarkable, and it just speaks to her character and the way she carries herself. I mean, she is an amazing example for women across the board of just had to cat yourself in.
All women women don't have to be black to respect Michelle. And I think that's you know, it's sad to say,
but that's a huge achievement. I thought Shemamanda's essay was one of the most striking because she mentions how she's holding Chimamanda's kind of writing about herself watching Michelle's first speech at the Democratic National Convention and then watching the last speech Michelle just gave this past summer and like holding her breath because even though she knows the complexity of Michelle and how much she deserves to be respected, she knows that if Michelle even slips once, people will
launch on it, and people will be waiting for her to trip up because they don't want to see an African American woman in such a high place of power in our country. And I think that's just a good representation of you know, And that's just a small sliver of the pressure that must have been on her shoulders all this time, and god, I would have missed them so much. It's not there. This election is a hot damn mess.
You see a hot damn mess. Honestly, I'm just like, did you just just a little aside, did you see the video clip when Donald Trump leaned in, He leaned then hung his daughter Tiffany.
No, I haven't. I try not to watch too much.
It is kind of like the teacher in me is like wants to pull aside her, like pull her aside like a little girl and say, is everything okay? Is that he touching me? Yes? He leans in to give her a hug, and it is so like she just like you know, jerks back and like, you know, makes it like it wasn't even like you know, like how someone kind of like reaches for you and your initial
reaction is to jerks oh, but then you lean on in. No, she jerks back, and she continues to like you know, uh, matrix her way around and then pats him on the arm like yeah, And I was like, what is happening? Mm hmm.
And then you know, I feel for his daughters. How can you be a woman and how to support that? I did love snl this swing and you haven't watched it. Did a did a spoof of Beyonce's Lemon or Beyonce song with Milania Trump instead. It's called Malania Aid. No, Milania Aid. It's freaking hilarious. Yeah, it's cameos by Alma Rosa, by his daughter Tiffany, by Ivanka, and by his poor
campaign spoke woman. Yeah, if we can. If you want to move into brown breaks and boosts, I actually have an election themed.
Okay, definitely. I well, I have won my I'm gonna take a brown break from domestic violence. Okay, I did not watch it. I will not watch Surviving Compton. Have you heard of that? Andy?
I have? But what is it?
So? I actually watched, Uh, what is the what was the original movie? Like the Compton maidn't know what is the movie that straight out of Compton? Straight out of Compton. I'm like, I'm the eighty year old woman brain, so straight at Compton was this great movie about It was really well done about the raw and just fall I guess of NWA, not really the fall of it, but kind of like doctor Dre Eze ice Cube, like all of them, and kind of like West Coast Rat and
kind of like what that story is behind it. It was really well done and I think, you know, so it was actually a really good movie. I saw it, so apparently I did not know this. But doctor Dre at the time, I don't know if he was married to her, but he had children with her. This she was one of the early hip hop kind of like she was like the early Mary J. Blige. Her name is Michelle A. And she was with doctor Drake kind of during that time. They were both really young. She was about nineteen and
he was about twenty five. But the level of abuse that he leveled against this young woman, from shooting at her, to beating her in her sleep, to hitting her so hard knocking her brain loose, it.
Was freaking her brain.
Yes, hitting her that hard. I mean he of course was suing for a lifetime in her for them not to show the biopics.
Because it's a lifetime movie Surviving Compton. Oh so it's it's the woman, it's his excess story.
Like she was not in She was not featured in in the movie, even though they have children together. He was with her, so but she was just cut out of that history. And so she was like, well, I'm going to tell my story with about Dre Shooge Knight.
Good for her? What is that good for her?
Yeah? And it was from like the clips that I've seen and like just like my friends and stuff posting about it and reading because a woman named she used to call herself a bell in Brooklyn. But Demetria o'doyley, o'doyle, I think o'doley she she did kind of a recap and it's just like just the level. I mean, you know,
you hear of abuse, and there are levels. And every woman who had watched the movie, like Demetria would would would check in and say, wait did he just And then a woman would say just wait, keep watching, and she would come back and be like, wait did he just Someone would say again, just wait, keep watching. It it escalated to levels that like are unheard of, and I'm like, what kind of people were just like it was beyond like you know, people were just like doctor Dre,
you're a monster. It just that's I mean. I went on Twitter later to kind of see like what people were saying, and people were like, wow, sir, if even half of this is true, you are literally a sociopath, a psychopath, and a monster.
I remember one I remember when Strada A Compton came out. People were saying like they were yelling and because it overlooked all that you know, abuse and stuff, but I yeah, I didn't know how bad it was.
Yeah, And so I'm just taking a Bronla, you know, because it's so crazy because he apologized for the abuse at one point, but then when the movie was coming out, he was like, oh, it's all a lie. And I'm like, sir, we have you on tape apologizing for the abuse. Not that that erased it, but now that it's just don't want people to realize just how depray indifferent that you were to the mother of your children, and how at
one point she tried to kill herself but she failed. Yeah, it's just you just wonder, like what kind of person. And so I just said, I'm, you know, taking a brown break from like just if you are, I mean, and maybe we can find like a link or something I was gonna say.
You know with I guess that the one of the few silver linings with all this Trump controversy. So the last two weeks, of course you all heard about the just you know, just heinous comments Trump made about sexually assaulting women, bragging about it. I was reading in The Times.
One of the silver linings is that the number of calls to the National Sexual Abuse and Rape Assault Line hotline HATH increased from like six hundred a month, like to eight hundred and more a month now, So it seems like people are talking more about sexual assaultments like empowering more people to come out and talk about it. So I mean, I hope. I guess the movie and you know, I guess the one silver lining is maybe it'll encourage more women to get out of those situations.
Because I think that because of the general outrage over you know what, what he who shall not be named said is that it gave women who probably went through it, like, oh so people people think this is bad. Okay, you know.
I'm not alone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it's hard, and you know what, it's it's really hard. You know. One of the things we talked about before was having an f you fund. That f you fund is that so you can remove yourself from whatever situation that is not good for you. You know, money is power in a lot of ways, and it's it's you know, and even if you think you have money and your family and you're doing well, you know, if it look really, who has the control of the money? Do you have control
of the money? Do you is your nay? Your name on the credit cards? Is it your name on the bank account? Or you know, it's it's it's really about, you know, giving yourself, you know, financial autonomy and power and there's nothing wrong with that and wanting it in a relationship and looking for that because it means when you don't like what's happening, you as you should be able to can leave. And sadly, a lot of women you know don't have the means financially to leave, and
they get stuck. I've seen it time and time again. Yeah, it's sad.
What about you? Are you breaking or are you boosting?
I'm going to do a boost, Anna Bury, so one just off the top. My break is going to be this election. I cannot wait for No. Number eighth. I just want to cast my ballot and move on with my life because I can't take the headlines. I want Voldemort to go back into his cave. I want him to just disappear into the dark hole he was born in. So I want to break from the election. I'm sure all of you guys do too. But my boost I want to give a boost to women in this election.
I think, especially in light of these recent comments made by Voldemort he must not be named, all these polls will come out showing that women are the ones who are you know, really behind Trumps dropping the polls recently and how women will be the deciding vote. How polls of men have shown that they haven't really changed their opinion two muth one way or the other of him in light of these recent comments. But women are the the is the core group of voters who will be
one of the biggest deciding factors in this election. And I just think that's really powerful and just a reminder that women's voices do matter. In fact, there were some there was this terrible hashtag going around from conservative voters. I think it was repealed the thirteenth which gave or repeal whatever if I'm terrible, My US history teacher is just rolling over right now. Repeal whatever amendment it was they gave women the right to vote. I think it's
the nineteenth. Oh god, I'm sorry. Yeah, repeal the amendment that gave women the right to vote. So that yeah, so that we would have less of a say in the election. So I think that's just, you know, more encouragement for women to get out there and vote. Your votes do count. And you know, that's all I can say about that. Oh and no, that's not all I can say, because I forgot to mention Michelle, speaking of our goddess Floatus gave before this New York Times story
even came out. That was just good timing. She dropped the mic on America again last week with her speech. I believe it was in New Hampshire, just dragging Lord Voldemort down to the ground for those comments he made, and really just like reading America for doing anything else and completely condemning those words and being terrified, terrified of the prospect of a man like that being close to the presidency. So and I think if there's any president
of women in America, it's going to be Floatus. So she speaks for all of us. And I see you, Hillary, I see you got your your secret weapon, Miss Michelle, and I I can't blame.
You for it. You better bring out the big gun.
It's working. I'm not gonna lie.
It's working.
Yeah, So go girl, thrill power. Yeah all right. So, like Tiffany said, you can go right to Brinambition podcast dot com to submit your questions. We've got some really good questions. We're only gonna get to maybe one or two today. This one is a really good question from one of our listeners who wants to remain anonymous. She says, I'm really confused. I heard on a recent episode of Brown Ambition a story that's triggered a lot of questions and doubts for me. My school loans are with an issue.
We're called fed loan. I have about eighty four thousand dollars in student loan debt and I'm on an income driven repayment plan. But I've been using a company called Student Loan Assistance Center. I pay Student Loan Assistant Center thirty nine dollars a month for their services. They applied on my behalf for or the income based repayment plan. They've helped me get a loan consolidation and have also helped me getting on a twenty five year income driven
repayment plan. I don't even understand everything on the form, and I wonder if all I've been paying has been for nothing. During the episode, I heard you say that I don't really need a company to act as an intermediary for these services. I wonder if I can drop SLAC and continue on the plan by myself.
I'm sorry to tell you that you could have just called your federal student loan company and they would have given you the exact same stuff.
Yes, so I looked up Slack. It's actually a document processing company. So Slack is it's legitimate. Okay, there are businesses out there that you can pay a fee and they will do things for you that you can do yourself, the same way you could follow your taxes that you hire an accountant and they do a service for you that you could do yourself. So they're call a document processing center one of the super uber duber scammy ones out there that are like using images of Obama and
promising student loan forgiveness and stuff. However, yes, you can absolutely do. You can absolutely just call your service or your loan servicer and enroll in those programs on your own and save your thirty nine dollars a month. Also, there's no reason to pay any company a monthly fee because it only takes one phone call.
I was gonna say that, like, so what do they charge you once you do the documents at one time? You're like you're in, like Flynn, like there's nothing else. So when you're paying indefinitely thirty nine dollars a month, and what are they gonna do? Say, Hey, you're no longer in the income base for payment program. That's not how that works.
Yeah, so that's the short answer to your question. She had a second part to her question. She's so she's looking at her student loan balances and they're just not going down. She says, I don't even understand everything on my student loan form, and I wonder if all I've been paying all this time is interest, since the amount of the principle doesn't seem to change, although it's it's been a year now that I've been on the plan
and I pay regularly. Here's the thing with income based repayment plans, and especially if you're on a twenty five year plan, your payments are probably super duper low. She did send me some of her loan documents and I looked at them. Her interest rate is five point eight percent. Chances are her payment is so low that she really isn't touching the principle, Like she's just probably not even
touching how much interest on it. So that's the that's like the quid pro quo with those income driven repayment plans is that what anytime you give yourself longer to pay off a loane, you're paying way more in interest. So you're actually going to pay more over time, way more. On the other hand, you get the benefit of flexible repayments and you can, you know, live your life and
pay your bills and you're not stressed out. It's it's a give and take, but it's something that you should consider because if you're expecting, you know, to pay out the eighty five I mean it's twenty five years. That's how long it's going to take you. That's what the plan is set up for. So you know, you could you know, there's student loan repayment calculators you can look
up online. We have when it Magnify Money, and you can put on your numbers and put on your how much you're paying for a month, and it'll tell you, yeah, it's going to take you a while.
But the good news is if you canceled that forty bucks a month basically paying, you could put that towards your principle totally. Yeah.
I would say candle them, yeah for sure.
And just say, you know what, I'm going to put forty bucks a month. Like you can make a second principal payment of the forty bucks a month and at least then you'll know that you're you know you're doing a little bit of a shift, but you know it's yeah,
I mean, but I'm glad. That's a really good question to ask, because, for example, I paid someone to not do income based for payment and stuff like that, but I paid her to help me figure out even though I know I could do this myself, and I could have done the research and all kinds the Googles and everything else, but it was worth it to me to help for her to help me find a program where I could get rid of my student loans as much as possible. And with her help, I've been able to
reduce my student loans by twenty thousand dollars. And now it's it was that a program I could have googled, Yes, but I did my googles and I was like, I don't know what this says. I'd rather pay someone a couple hundred bucks to find it for me, and then I saved twenty thousand, So to me, the return on investment was worth it. Like Mandy said, it's like doing your laundry. You know how to do laundry. You could do it yourself or you could pay for a service,
So it all kind of depends on you. Know on where you are and what you can afford and if you're willing to do the work yourself. But what you paid for, honestly was That's a phone call you could make just saying hey, I want to apply for income Base for payment and they would have walked you through. So just making sure that before you pay for anything.
This is just for all the BA listeners, before you pay for any financial service, you know, do your best to try it on your own first, and then if you don't make any any movement or any progress on your own, then yes, you know, paying for professional services is not a terrible thing when you know you know what I've tried.
Yeah, and just to a quick Google search, that's what I did to find out more about SLAC and see what other people have said about it and if they had the same experience. The unfortunate thing is that it's a legitimate company. They gave you a service, you paid for it. You can't get your money back, you know,
that's the shame. So hopefully you can just cancel it and move on and start aggressively making payments as much as you can on those student loans, and you'll probably save more an interest by making bigger payments than what you lost this year pay in that company, so you can come back from it for sure.
Yeah.
Moved on to our second question. So this is from a reader named Dana. She says, I come to you with a career dilemma. You came to the right place, Dana says, I'm two and a half years removed from getting my bachelor's in business. Shortly after college, I landed a standard entry level job with a solid fortune one
hundred company. As a new college grad. I was ecstatic. However, my interests started to wane and I was able to pinpoint that my boredom was attached to not feeling as though my company or my position fed my desire to work in a helping field. I wrestled with a few options and ended up with teaching. Fast forward and we're now in October. I'm feeling overwhelmed and I'm constantly kicking myself as to why I jumped into this field. I'm a sixth grade language arts teacher. There is just so
much and it has me questioning everything about myself. According to the infamous first year teacher disillusionment chart, I don't know what that is, Tiffany, I am in the low point of first year teaching. Oh, I guess there's a lull and depression and first year teaching. In the event that it doesn't get better for me, how should I approach yet another career change? Also, when should you sacrifice school for work and vice versa. My gut is telling me to go back to school to get an MSW.
But is it? But it is because my school is my comfort zone. And I also like to minimize debt as I currently am debt free.
So let's maybe tackle the first part. So she went to school for business. Did she get her degree?
She's two and a half years removed from getting her bachelor's in business. Okay, After college, she got an entry level job. Then she decided to switch moves and go into teaching.
So that's where she and I were on the same page. So I got my degree in business as well. Was like, hate these internships, they're soul sucking. Then I became a teacher, and I can tell you that first year I cried almost every single day in the car on the way home. It's a lot.
I cried, definitely in that first year.
Low Oh what not only did I cry? First of all, I was exhausted. I couldn't even make it all the way home. I used to pull over halfway home. There was a Walmart that was like the halfway home point, and I was so exhausted. I used to pull over and take a thirty minute cat nap in the car every day because I couldn't make it all the way home with my eyes open because I was that exhausted.
So just know that, yes, it is very, very hard in the beginning because no matter what you no matter what you do, it's difficult because teaching is one of those things that you really only get better at or do well at, with time. It's not something where it's like baking. Yeah, you know, you make a few cakes, you know well in the beginning, but really the nuances don't reveal themselves to you until after a few years
of really getting into it. And so for the first year I was exhausted and I was depressed, and I was like, I mean, I love the kids, but everything else sucked. And it got better and I'm obviously you know, I'm not there now, but it got better as far as I got better as a teacher. Because it's like when you first start driving, you know, when you first start driving, and everything is a distraction. You're like, oh my god, the mirror, the lights, the camera, the action.
But then after a while you learn how to focus and really not be distracted by all these different things. It's like that when you teach, everything is something thing. But then after a while you'll get into a rhythm where one you learn how to read kids very quickly, and people in your audience when you're speaking to them
very quickly. You learn how to manage your classroom, you learn how to quickly like the few situations, you learn like you know, just there are all these things that you you don't even need to You don't even realize you need to learn that you will learn if you decide to stick with it. So I can't tell you to stick with it or not stick with it. All I can say is that how you're feeling is completely normal. And then if you decide to make a career shift,
there's nothing wrong with that. I don't honestly, I'm not under the belief that you have to stay anywhere. I mean, I'm doing the budget EASTA now what I mean catch me in two years. I might be the natural hair guru. I don't know.
That's my plan.
Honestly, I don't. I'm not married to one way of living. I believe you have this one short life, and there's parts in life, like half of your life has gone to you. Part of your life you're too old to do anything, the other part you're too young to do anything. And then there's a middle piece where you're it's like just right. So Goldilocks, you better live your life because you're you're in your just right. So don't feel like you have to stay a certain place. I don't care
if you changed your career every two years. You know, live your life and so, but just don't run from teaching if you think just because you think that, I shouldn't be feeling overwhelmed and upset that that's kind of normal. Everyone's not going to feel that way, but it's not abnormal. I certainly cried nearly every single day. I was like, I can't, I can do this, I can do this.
I was in the I bet that's really comforting for her to hear. I bet that's what she needed. Like, yeah, like seventy five percent of that question. She just needed someone to tell her that she's not crazy.
Yeah, she you're not crazy. It's a lot, girl, You're dealing with like how many kids in the classroom, then the administration, and then the fact you actually have to teach them something, and then no one, no one actually was I kept waiting for teacher lessons, girl, they never came. No one came and said, hey, Tiffany, this is how you actually teach and manage the classroom. Literally the first day, Mandy,
I didn't even know what kids that age knew. I was asking the student teacher like, so, like, what are three and four year olds know? Like do they know their name? I had no idea, So I'm like, so, hi, guys, I mean, I didn't even know.
I didn't think of a single more terrifying thing than sitting and standing in front of twenty five twelve year olds in English class. Oh my god, you don't.
Even know that. You have no unless you have children that age, there's no point of reference for you. So you don't know how hard you go, how soft do you go? How gentle? How mean? How you don't know? And so you don't you don't get your your cadence. It just takes a minute. And kids can smell and taste fear and they eat it. Like like they're like, oh, yes, she's afraid, y'all, here comes this new fresh meat got her.
And so that's but I will say this, if you stick with it for a little while, you will come out on the other side a freaking superwoman. There is no better, like, cooler, well equipped person that I know than a damn teacher. Because one you learn how to manage folks. You learn public speaking, you learn how to keep people's attention, you learn how to bring people from
a place of no knowledge to knowledge. You learn not just that, but it's like running a business because you have to manage the administration to parents and the students, and on top of that, teach them something something, make it entertaining. I mean, the reason why I do so well with the budgetiesta, hands down eighty five percent of it comes from my training in that classroom in New York, New Jersey with fifteen, three and four year olds at
a time. It taught me everything. And so, you know, if nothing else, stay for a few years or so just to get that lesson, because you can take those skills and run the damn world for real.
You can do it.
You can, and just keep in contact. I would love to hear, you know, share your teacher story. That's one thing fun thing about being a teacher is like you become like really like a fun friend because every day I would have like teacher stories for my friends. So even if something is crazy and something terrible happened, share it as a teacher story with your friends, you know, of course leaving your kids' names out, but it becomes fun. Like my friends would ask me like, so what about
the kid with the plaid shirt? Wow's he doing? You know? And so it just became fun sharing the good, bad and ugly with my friends. And it became very It's almost like therapy for me to share like my teacher stories.
You have to talk about your you need friends to talk about your day, and yeah, whatever you do. But one part of her question that struck me was when she said she's thinking about going about going back to school to get her MSW, the master's in social work. And she says that's because school is my comfort zone and I'd like to but I'd also like to minimize debt. So she's as, you're weighing the option to go back
to grad school. I mean, what I'll say about grad school is, you know, during the recession, tons of people couldn't get jobs, so they ran to school because it was you know, they sheltered in school was like the formal term because there weren't really any job prospects. They weren't getting any professional experience, so of course they into
school to get you know, professional degree. But I feel like in social work especially, I mean I'm not an expert, I'm not in social work, but I feel like years of experience as a teacher are very powerful on a resume, Like you're getting real world professional experience. And I would
take that into consideration too. As you're weighing the option of going back to school, especially if he means taking on a ton of debt, you have to think really hard, is that debt going to be worth the potential future earnings increase you can get with a degree in social work. Again, I don't know, you know what degrees in social work?
You know how that can translate in salary, But you know, ask yourself, will you be better off with you know, tons of debt in that masters or tons of professional experience and growing in a in your actual career field
later on? I mean, teachers are social workers in their own way, right, so I feel like those are I mean, you're learning a ton of skills that probably social workers learn in their day to day job already, and you're getting paid for it rather than paying, you know, to learn it in a in a classroom environment, which on is not like the real world anyway.
And I'll say this that like when it comes to you know, stuff like that, you should ask you like, what's your end goal? So my sister taught me this, my older sister. She's always so scary question. It is a scary question, but it helps to order your past. So, like, you know, if you're like, you know ideally where you see you're life headed, making sure that all of the pieces that you're collecting are going to come together to
equal that puzzle. So if your end goal is not to stay in the classroom, then why collect a puzzle piece you can't use, you know, So just making sure like, well, what is it that I see for my life? What is it how is it that I like my life to go, and making sure that you know, everything matches up to that, like, okay, I see myself. I knew I remember saying that I wanted to travel you know
a lot. And so being a preschool teacher or any teacher helped with that because I was like, oh, I have my summers off, you know, and you know, thinking to yourself, Oh, I want to make a certain amount of money, or I want to live in a certain place, or I want to feel a certa way, or I want to give back whatever that looks like. Making sure that you know, does that degree or is that in alignment with in general, how you'd like your life to kind of play out, and if not, then you know,
make a different choice. I mean it's you know, I know it's hard. I'm not saying like what do you want to be when you grow up? Because I believe that we're going to be a number of things. To me, I like to say, how do you want to live? Because how do you want to live doesn't really change that much. You know people who who kind of pick their hand, travel, fun, giving, sharing, caring, those things don't typically change. So figure out how do you want to live and do things in alignment with that.
Preach. That was excellent. I can listen to your advice all day. You know, you might have a future and advice giving what.
I do my own advice. But I was just this is just like an aside and this is like adventures of Like just I've been very, very very overwhelmed lately, but not even in a bad way. There's just been so much. It's really good stuff, but it's it's just it made me realize that it's time for me to get a personal and in person assistant, like come get my laundry, you know, yes, And so it's just hiring. I know, I am, but I need an in person just like, not an admin, like a personal assistant for real.
And it sounds so crazy, like it sounds so oprah esque or so beyond saly, like what do I need a personal assistant for? But I find myself spending hours doing things that I shouldn't be doing, quite honestly. And it's not even because of the business aspect. More and more, I've just been thinking about family and I want to have a kid, and I'm like, well, I'm spending hours
doing these like non essential things. That's less time than IM gonna I'm gonna have with my hopefully future baby, and I just I don't want to I don't want that to take up so much time anymore. So I've been trying to strategically and the same thing to like to the young woman that just that wrote that email, that that's what I mean, Like, I'm trying to make choices that add up to the life of how I
want to live. And I want to live a life where I have time to like chill up my baby and not worry about my business falling to pieces because there are people in place to make sure things run. So part of that how is planning now to get a personal assistant and figuring out what does that look like. So as I'm working on you know, I even got like this fertility app on my phone which we could talk about.
Like we are.
Knee deep in this saying, man, you don't even know like this is.
We're gonna do a whole episode. We're gonna planned parenthood.
Yes, we all gotta call. We got to talk about that next episode.
But yeah, So you guys have parenting questions, ask them now, right?
Oh no, don't ask me. I don't have anything.
We will send them to experts or family planning questions.
Question, Well, how do you make sure that they're not killers?
How do you make sure they don't want to do things like drugs like I wanted to do drugs?
How do.
I make sure my kid doesn't want to do that stuff either.
And you can't even ask like your mom and stuff anymore because I don't even remember.
Remember, Like, I don't know. I just I just wing.
I hold my nephew, Like, Mommy, you had five of us. She's like, I know, but you guys are like forty, so.
When you were twelve.
I know. She doesn't even remember anything. I'm like, that's not how you hold a baby.
My god, I've seen my mother in law hold a baby. It's terrifying.
It is. How did they birth children and take care of them?
Suck of potatoes? Yeah, because they know how sturty they are, that's the thing. They know. They're not breakable.
Yeah, they're not. And then you're all like, okay, okay, don't die, don't die.
Oh my god?
Yeah all right, so you want to end with some wins. I mean, I'm just gonna I'm.
So excited for our planned parented episode. I need everyone to get ready. We're going to do an entire thing about planning for a baby.
Yeh. Financially, emotionally, mentally, yeah, definitely. I'm excited about that too. I'm going to show you with you this app that I found that's really awesome. It's free, but I've been loving it. You guys can so even gear up by sending us like some questions, even some suggestions that we can share with the rest of the BA audience about
like what you use that really helped. I am thirty seven and so I'm not some spring chicken so pregnancy, I mean, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I eat fairly decent, and I exercise, so.
Especially wants some medical advice if we have any guynecologists or fertility doctors on the line. Tiffany's email is.
You know, I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little bit nervous about like my ability you could took and see because of my age, but you know we're gonna have them.
Yeah. I have friends who are going through the same thing right now, friends who are but not just age, I mean friends who are my age, younger, older, who've been dealing with fertility wins and loses, loses, wins and losses. Yeah, and I think it's just something everyone's going through and we're all just kind of afraid to talk about it because we're like what, we're independent women. We're gonna get our career first, and like manage our lives and get
the right man. But like family planning is important, and it.
Is and it's planning, That's what I'm realizing, Like because when you're in your twenties you don't think about it. But I'm like, wow, this is like a plan and I have to make a plan that if by a certain time it doesn't happen, do we do in vitro? Like? What are those things? Does insurance cover it? There are all these things now that I have to like contend with on top of the fact of running a business that I'm like, wow, but that's what adulting looks like,
you know. So so you want to wrap up with some wins. I mean, my win is easy. My win is I got my.
Rain Ah so many wins. Oh yeah, that was a huge win, Missus Superman Future Missus Superman. My win is the fact that I did not think of a win before. Obviously I'm unprepared. We talked about a lot of positive things to say, I mean a lot of positive things. Today, I guess I'll make my win. The fact that although none of us seems to really know for sure what the hell we're doing, whether it's in our career find as relationships, like, we're all figuring it out and we're
all gonna be okay. That's all I want to say. We're all gonna We're all gonna be it. We're all grown ups. We have the license to live our lives the way we want to live them, and we're all need to be empowered to live we want to live them and to feel like you know, you deserve everything you have and more. And so if you feel like you are a little bit of imposter syndrome in your adultingness, just learn to embrace it. You should start to figure
out what you want. And it's okay to know what you want and what you don't want out of life. And like Tiffany said, start answering the questions of what you want, I mean, how you want your life to look. And it's okay to ask thos questions. And it's even better when you have some answers for those because that will make everything appear much more clear, all the choices
you have to make. As soon as you're looking through them through the lens of how does this help me achieve what I want my life to look like, you'll just see things get more simple. I think that's what everyone says or what everyone means when they talk about how much they love getting older, because everything just sort of becomes more simple because you know what you want and how to get it. So this is my my love letter to adulting. I guess that was a good I kind of need that pep talk, honestly.
Don't worry, don't worry. I mean, yes, it all in the end, it all kind of works out. And yes, I'm not gonna lie, I said, because how old are you?
Mandy nine?
Oh yeah, So I will say that at thirty seven, I am definitely more clear on my how like how I want to live. So you know, that's the one thing I will say. I mean, I can't speak for every woman obviously, but it does get as far as my journey, it's gotten clearer and easier to identify the uh you know what this is in alignment. This is how I want to live, you know, So I will
say that part. It doesn't necessarily get life in general get easier, but you know, I can pretty much when something comes my way, Like I had an opportunity today, great money, and I was like, I instantly was like, nope, my head has said nope. I let them talk, but I said nope, this is not in alignment. This is gonna take time away from my family. I'm in this baby making time. It's this baby's not gonna make itself. I need to be home. So yeah, on that note,
we leave you with some babymaking music. I can't.
I can't do another two weeks without you in my life. I seriously can't. Oh my silly news, right, I need to know that it won't happen again.
No, I'm kidding.
We just had a busy, busy early October, but we'll be back next week with another show. You guys, continue to send us your questions at briannmission podcast dot com. Leave us reviews, let us know how much you like the show. It helps everyone find us. And thank you again for all your support.
Yeah, we love you.