All right, and we're back. We're back, We're back, We're back. I feel like.
I felt a little half hearted.
I'm like, I know, well, you know, first of all, I spent the morning, me and Supergirl cleaning the house.
I thot, wait, I just woke up, but you already had a whole day.
I know.
I woke up early, and I was like, I don't even know how I was able to convince Supergirl to clean without like her like, without any pushback. That was like, you know, because her father left early too, he's working overtime. So I woke up and I said, oh, you know what we should do. We should clean the house so it could be clean when he gets back.
And she agreed.
And I was like, who is this person? Because this is not the girl from yesterday.
Mercury is in retrograde. I don't actually know what that means, and me.
Either, it's just something about I don't know.
All my HOTEP friends are like, it just means that communication is not going to be as clear.
But she did the dishes.
She she She's like, can I do it the Supergirl way, which just meant filling all the cups of wood water and playing a game. I was like, well, let's do it the regular way, because.
Let's do it the way in which things get done.
Exactly, I told because if you do it that way, we're gonna run out of water.
She said, people went out of water. I was like all the time.
Oh god, I'm first world baby.
So yeah, so I'm just like I am a little bit tired, but I'm excited because we had such an awesome dinner.
Yes we did. Friday was our brand Ambition anniversary dinner, and I was really impressed. All the girls showed up. You never know when you make plans with six strangers.
I was surprised.
I'm not surprised, but I was, I don't know, pleasantly, just like a lay and we had such a good time.
I was like, Wow, good.
Food, good cat drinks, good company, good conversation. It was like the best. It was like what I wish all networking events were, which is just small little groups, yeah, where you can really get to know each other.
And now you did a.
Really good job of keeping the conversation flowing, of asking everyone kind of like what they were up to. All the women were so amazing. I was like, what how did we find this group of like awesome.
I mean we knew that, we knew our listeners would be kind of dope, but so shout out to Maxine. She came all the way from North Carolina, well to New York, to New York from North Carolina. And we had the twins Nasenga and Nazinga, who are amazing both like dope artists. One yeah, I think it was Nazinga who was on Project Rumway. I have to I have to go find that that she was on season thirteen.
What's the lab?
I'm not amazing? And then her sister Nasana, who's like a photographer and just got a big grant to work on a big art installation. And then we had Kristen who transitioned what was she doing before marketing at a financial firm and now she's a special education teacher.
Yeah?
Just whatn't I?
Oh?
And the miss Janelle who came all away from Long Island, which is basically another state, even though it's not what.
Did Janelle do? I know? She just had a baby eighteen months ago.
Janelle works at a university okay, I think an administration. Yeah, and she just literally popped out a child and they made time found a center came to New York City from Long Island. Just I'm just so glad everyone got together. And then the other girls were from Brooklyn, like they really they went out of their way. We know what that subway system.
Is, Like, yeah, it was really awesome. And then my friend I brought my best friend Linda, which is which you know, was so hilarious that because you know, like we talk all the time, but you don't I don't remember half the stuff, you know, I say. And the fact that the girls, because I had spoken about Linda on the show, We're like, oh, yeah, we know you, Linda. And then I was like, oh my god. Linda was like y'all that was so awesome that they.
Knew me from the show. And I'm like, oh my god.
Honestly, it blew my mind when we like, even when we talk, I don't think about people listening. I'm just talking to Mandy, I know. So for those of you who are kind of like, huh, we had it.
Was our one year anniversary dinner, yes, and it was magical. Yeah.
So we invited some of our most avid listeners and they came out and we had dinner on us. Oh and we had the cutest cupcakes that Mandy ordered with our faces on.
I love seeing your mother in law's reaction.
Oh my gosh, isn't she She's so cute? Yeah, she's you guys. If you guys don't you don't have to follow me, but you have to go to my Instagram page. It's Mandy with an eye money and watch my mother in law's reaction to the cupcakes with me and Tiffany's faces on them. It was so you don't have to know it Spanish. It's pretty. It's pretty universal.
Oh my god. Basically, oh my god, my goodness, she's so cute. Who's that my friend? You're like, how do you stay business?
What I didn't so the cupcakes had the logo which we took over a year ago, about a year old, of course, a year ago when my hair that was like maybe the last time I wore my hair kind of straight and before I went all curly all the time, big hair whatever. What I didn't show in that video is a minute fiance cut the camera. She said, oh, Mandy, put your hair back like this. It looks so nice. It's like, oh, only mother in lawsuit I.
Know, no mother's parents too, because my parents always like my dad's always like, you know, your mom's hair is so pretty and street, you should try that.
I'm like daddy, Honestly, it's been like thirty years. It's too late. I know.
Like I had a prom literally two years out of my thirty six years of life, I've had a I had a proom for two years.
That was it.
I think I got it like right before I went to college and my hair promptly fell out and I was like, okay, never again.
That was me.
I lost it because I was watching I was listening to another round. Just shout out to another round. It it's just Tracy this week and she interviewed Ava Duverne. That was the most brilliant combination ever. I was jealous because I'm not gonna lie and trying to get Miss avon on our show. But it's gonna happen soon, it will. But she's sang the entire just for Me commercial, Like
it was pretty impressive. But yeah, if you ever had your scout burned and your edge is removed from your head by Just for Me, then you don't know what life is. A.
Yes, I'm so glad that I'm pre free, but yeah, so all that can say that parents and parents.
In law are judging, Yes, very judgy.
Speaking of love and judge, I was gonna say, like, honestly so lovey. For those of you who don't know, she was a guest on our show, awesomely lovey. If you're not following her, you're not.
Living she is like every week. I'm just so proud of her, Like.
I'm glad you got in early? What Literally everywhere I go there, she is there on TV, She's on my webs She's on every web page I go to, or my social media feed. The book is blowing up. I got my book. I've been reading it.
It's pretty funny, so I know, and you know it's all crazy. I cannot find my kindle because I ordered it for Kindle. Oh yes, and I cannot find This is my third lost Kindle. If I lost it, I'm.
Like, where you lost your whole entire kindle.
I always lose my dag on Kindle.
But I'm like, it has to be here, it has to be It's in the house somewhere, I hope somewhere.
I know we don't want homing device.
I know I wonder if there is one, but I just it wouldn't be like, literally, it's called Tiffany's Third Kindle.
The book is She's very She gets a little raunchy, and I'm like, on, I'm on the train and I'm like, oh, okay, we're going there, We're going right right there. At page twenty five. No, it's it's funny stuff. I was cracking up. But the title of the book, if you don't remember, it's I'm Judging You, the Do Better Manual.
Yes, I can't wait, Yes, if I can only find my kindle. But yeah, people love you said something that I think was hilarious. That's what I love about her. She was like, honestly, I would hate to hate me right now because I'm everywhere.
Yeah, somebody made a meme of that. Do you ever think about that?
Like, I don't really unless it like comes up of people who are like mad at you or unhappy with you or just you know, I don't really believe in haters.
You know, people say like, oh, I've got haters. I was like, do you really? You know?
There is a chapter, one of the chapters in her books. It's really funny because this is why I have a column for teen Vogue that I do and my this is my tenth column, and I've been wanting to write this for a while, and I wrote the five types of friends that you should avoid a life avoid in life,
it should have been the five types of frenemies. And then in Lovey's in the Big Like, very early on in her book, she talks about the friendship personalities of people who need to do better, that like are kind of toxic in our life, and it was it was funny that there was that overlap. But we both talk about the friend who like kind of wants you to
not do well, Like it's really overly competitive. And I feel like, you know, it's not that these people like like they're not wishing for you to They're not like Tanya Harding they're gonna like whack you with the steel bar before. But it's I think it comes from a place of like insecurity. Yes, and you could be you can get you can get upset at them or whatever, you know, when they send that negative energy your way. But I just try and think of it. It's like, well, Okay,
they're a little insecure. It's very competitive right now. It's ever been more competitive because literally you can be everywhere. Because we didn't have social media, or Facebook or Instagram and all that kind of crap, you know, even a few years ago. So it's really hard to see your your peers doing amazing things and you may feel like a little you know, left behind.
No, it is, I mean, honestly, it is easy to get caught up. I mean to me, I found that the best cure for oh you know, I call it not not jealousy, but like, oh I wish I was doing better, you know what I mean, Like some I might look at someone and not be like, oh man, I want what she has, but instead it kind of makes me say.
Like, ah, like, what am I doing wrong? I gotta do better, you know.
And then but I've learned that well, one of the things I do is I like unfollowed folks that kind of put me in that mind frame, not because they did anything wrong, but for whatever reason, it was a trigger for me to compare myself and then find myself lacking. I'm like, simply that's not healthy, you know. So then I learned, I said, at first, I used to try to tough it out and say no, you're gonna follow them. And you know, when even when you feel like that,
you're gonna work through it. Then I realized that's not working, so I would still were still friends, but I unfollowed their notifications so that way I could just like live and enjoy like what I'm doing.
And I mean, I'm.
Sure that's something, you know, that's definitely something I want to work on on that side. But I'm not gonna throw myself in the fire. There's plenty of tests in life unfollow you know, you know, like this.
Think you also you have to think of people as humans, Like I know how much I leave out. I'm not putting on Instagram that I just had to drop down drag out fight with my fiance or that you know, I was rude to the guy at Dunkin Donuts because I was in a hurry and he got my order wrong. You know, like you don't show the worst part of yourself on social media. And I know I leave a lot of crap out, you know, all my you know,
my flaws and stuff. And if I just remind myself that there's you know, people have so many issues that you don't put on which I had a conversation with someone close to me and I know what's happening in her life right now, and you go to our social media feed, and you know, she had just this is a long, long time ago, a different friend she had posted something, so I knew that day that she had had a really bad breakup with the guy she was seeing.
And the next day she posted these roses and she was like, I'm just so happy with life and like everything is fine, and I was like, yeah, you know, I it makes me sad because I don't want you shouldn't feel like you have to put up a strong social media front, you know, to keep up whatever illusions.
I mean, that's life now. And honestly, I find myself.
I when I look at my social media feed, I know when when things are hard because I go quiet. Yes, you know, that's what I tend to do, not so much like and even it's not even sometimes when things are.
Bad, when if I'm like really overwhelmed, like right now.
I just was like, as I was cleaning, I said, okay, we have to do better like you're doing.
There's so many amazing things and I'm trying.
To do them all and this morning I realize you're not doing them well. And I've just been so and it's not even like I'm overwhelmed because I'm like, things are good, so I can't even complain. But it's just that, like I was always cleaning the house. It hit me, when's the last time you cleaned the house?
You know?
And I thought, okay, and so I have not I mean I'm not usually, you know, like when when things are kind of light and it's airy and whatever, I post a whole lot. And when I'm either overwhelmed or just like not feeling good, you know, then I don't post at all.
I'm just kind of like silent. I'm just a silent watcher. But yeah, I just that.
Picture of you elbow deep in the sink. I didn't let America know the truth.
I know, right right, It's just that.
Yeah, but I mean, social media does have you thinking that, like, you know, everyone has this perfect and even though you know that that's not true, it's hard not to see.
I was like, oh, this is what I wanted to say. So, you know, did we talk about Nicole last week?
The teacher?
No, Nicole BITCHI who's not ex so Nicole Nicole Caine?
Oh no, I don't know.
No, Okay, this is a perfect example of that. So have you heard of Nicole BITCHI? Like she had a website.
No, okay, you haven't.
Wow, So I mean maybe, but I never read it.
No, no, I never read her website either. But Nicole Bitchi was like huge. She was a big celebrity gossiper, especially for brown folks.
That's not her real name isn't.
No, her name is Nicole Caine.
But Nicole Bitchy was was really it was indicative of like the kind of step on the site, like gossip, you know.
And so it did really well, I mean like really well. I mean she was all over.
She was invited, she's a beautiful woman too, invited to red carpets, all this kind of stuff.
But this is a woman who was getting millions of hits a month.
And then last year she kind of and I think probably before last year, she had a change of heart and was like, what am I really doing?
This is not contributing to society. So she shut down her wildly.
She was like the go to gossip site for black celebrities basically, and she shut it down last year and she re emerged this year with Exo Nicole, which was really supposed to be an empowerment website for women of color.
And I actually wrote a few articles, oh.
That I've heard of. I've heard ex Nicole.
So it was formerly Nicole Bitchy. So she just did a video maybe like a week or so ago or basically where she's like, I'm broke and darn and almost homeless. That she did not anticipate how hard the transition.
Was going to be, and that you know that the.
Readers, not that the readers don't want to hear good news, but that's a different reader, Like.
Yeah, they don't throw, they don't like I mean, people consume negative blogs like they do tabloids, like with the with the fervor, like like a pac man, just chomping up those little bits. It's like gives them more energy or something or fuels something in them.
Goodness, you don't want to hear good news.
But it's like if I kept if I was coming to you for gossip and I come back to your website and now it's all sunshine of lollipops.
I'm like, cause I.
Wondered why I wrote an article and it wasn't It was about credit Girl. The comments were vicious because her readers were so used to we're so used to being negative and mean. I'm like, what what is happening in these comments sections? And I just I didn't realize that, like wow, it was just a culture that she had created and she was trying to bring those people along, but it was like they could not make the transition.
And so she just talked about how.
Because you go to her social media, this is a woman who travels all the world. I mean, like I said, she's beautiful, and you would think everything was great. And I thought that her YouTube video and you guys get a chance just type in Nicole Caine, you know YouTube or whatever. I think it's called I Am Nicole her YouTube channel, but she basically talks about that. You know, she was putting up a front and being an entrepreneur's hard,
and she didn't manage her money well. And maybe we could talk about that if we don't have a question about what does that look like when you have your own business or you know you're making a transition, what money things can people do to put themselves in place to not go through that, because I'm sure that she has seen a ton of money, but now it's no
longer here. And she said when she first moved, her parents passed away when she was younger, and she moved in with her aunt eight years ago to try to make her dream happen, and she had to call her on again eight years later, after traveling the world and running the super successful site, and ask her is my room still available? And I thought, Wow, just a good lesson of social media, money, entrepreneurship all wrapped into one.
Well.
I hope she gets back on her Yeah, I think, and I think she won. I we have good news to win exactly.
And plus two, I always think this that if the work you put in to get there, that that personality is still in you. You know that you you know it wasn't easy to get where she got to, even though Nicole BITCHI might not have been, you know, helping society, but still you put that same hustle and effort back in to create your new reality.
You know.
When you first said, Nicole, I don't know if this is actually the teacher's name, but there was. Did you see all the hot teacher debate last week?
Yes, what did you think?
Well, I wanted to hear what you think because you were a teacher. Yeah, so I don't know. This is how I found out from my friend Jess. You know, the Beyonce hater. Whenever I get like a long text from Jess, I'm like, what happens happened now in the news, And she went on and on about this teacher. So I don't know her name, but she was a she's a school, an elementary school. Like, she's not a teacher,
she's like a teacher's assistant or something, I think. But she wears these tight sort of hugging She's very curvy, looks great, but she wears these very tight dresses to work. And she's become known for like being the hot teacher. And I don't know how these pictures got out on the internet, but they are. And of course everyone's dragging her and saying that this is inappropriate, too sexy for
you know, a young school teacher. You know, I would not wear that to my job with grown ups personally, But that's that's me personally, Like I wouldn't wear tight stuff like that to work. And I've always thought the
you know, I think you should feel. I think what you wear is, you know, is really important when you're going into a job, especially when you're doing things you know, you and I do public speaking and things like that, and I think how you look it, you know, influences you and how you feel and can make you really confident, and that's important. But at the same time, I've always thought if people are focusing on what I'm wearing, They're not going to be focused on what I'm saying and
the work that I'm doing. So personally, I always thought it was it's better to I don't know, have the right balance, like dressing your age and looking young and stylish, but then also being taken seriously.
I mean, I mean, I'll say this, it was because not every not every outfit, because you know, they showed a bunch of them, not every outfit of hers to me was and I hate to use the word inappropriate, it was specifically to me, the pink. She had this pink dress that was really body It was definitely covered, like it went to her knees, but it was body hugging, like you know, you could almost see.
Like the v Yeah, that's the one I saw. Yeah, you know that's what everyone's leading with.
Yes, because but there were other dresses she had that were like, you know, you could tell.
I mean, she has the type.
She's a beautiful woman, she has the type of body no matter what she wears. You don't see she has a body, which is fine because that's your body, because I have a behind, like no matter what I wear, honestly, like you see my behind, but I know that, and as a teacher, like that pink one, I mean, people are like, oh, you're just because they What people did was they showed a other women with the same dress on with different body types.
Oh sorry, can you hear that?
No? What was that?
Never mind? A clip just started playing automatically.
So they showed other women with different like skinny and slim or not that she's not slim, but other body types that wore the same dress and it looked obviously different on them. The thing I say is this that pink dress. I didn't think it was appropriate. I was a teacher for a number of years and that doesn't make me an authority, but I didn't think it was appropriate.
It was skin type, Mandy, I mean skin type.
They're looking at it.
There were other outas she had that were really cute.
Still showed her curves and they were just like, okay, these are I have curves, so no matter what, you're gonna see them. But these are dresses that I thought were basically appropriate. But that skin type pink dress that was a club dress. And to me, it's not curved shaming.
You know, people are like, oh, black women's bodies are always girl. I have a big gold behind.
I've always had a big goal behind and I know that, and so there are certain things. For example, when I played tennis, like my skirt was always up in the back, and I played tennis with a lot of girls who didn't have behind, So there were certain sizes that I wore. Maybe I might wear something, you know, I wore tights under my skirt because I knew my body type.
That's the thing. It's not about body shaming.
It's like like I don't think skin tight is appropriate no matter what your body type. You might have no boobs, no butt, but if it's still super skin tight.
I don't think it's appropriate for school.
Sorry, Like there are places for that, and I just, you know, because a bunch of my friends were like, no, I just think, no, girl, it's not appropriate for school because what do you what is what's the purpose of that?
Are you like trying to attract the fourth grader, like.
You know, you know those those little boys are so confused.
Yes, I know, I mean, which is it's.
Just all the hormones are it's just starting to like perk up a little bit.
Yeah, I just didn't. Yeah, I thowt that.
It's an awkward debate to have, right because you don't want to be sexist, and then you don't want to body shame, but you do. I mean from a career perspective.
You have to know you know your body.
It's like saying that my friend is five to five and I'm six foot, and you know, we both are wearing this like you know, we're both a size six and we're both wearing the same medium skirt. But the medium skirt on me looks like a mini skirt because I'm so tall, and on her it goes to her knees.
And you're like, well, we.
Wear in the same skirt, don't shame me because my leg's a long girl, Like, honestly, let's not be foolish. And that's the part that piss me off because it's like, well, how come this super.
Skinny girl can wear it and she can't?
You know, your body certain things If I'm taller than this shorter girl and we were in the same size skirt and it comes to the bottom of my behind. It's not appropriate. I don't care that we we're in the same side where we're in. I'm not being body shamed.
It's just that this is I have to know my body and dress appropriately for where I work. Because she also had pictures of her, like, you know, going out and going to the clip in very similar dresses.
So what does that tell you that you think club gear is is is the same as you know, teacher gear. Like I said, all of her outfits were not inappropriate, but I found that one to be.
It was skin tight.
It wasn't not her body, it was just getting tight and just I don't know, I'm just like whatever. And they showed a picture of a guy with his like tattoos out and like.
I don't know, and they were like, well, what about this teacher, he's a man. Is this appropriate? Now?
It just comes down to workplace attire, and you should know to dress for your place of work. Like I said, I work. I would never wear something super sexy to work. It just doesn't feel appropriate. I would feel uncomfortable, Like, you know, you stick out in a workplace sometimes if you were you know, if you were something super sexy and like, I don't know it just and I think
it's important for young women to know. I think that, you know, I got a question one time from a young girl who was I got, you know, I helped her get an internship in New York City, and she was like, man, what do I wear in the office? And I was like, that's a good question. You should read the room and see what kind of attire is appropriate.
Because the thing is you can wear whatever you want.
People forget this that like, fine, wear that, but then you're going to be treated a certain way. Like that's what people don't get that you can do whatever you want, but then then those people around you will judge you as a result. So yes, wear skin tight if you like, but then you know, that's you know, people are going to look at you a certain way and the truth of the matters and people forget this, especially people who
are not teachers. I'm sorry, but when you're a teacher, there is a you are held to a higher standard, Like there are certain things that I could not do on my social media or I could lose my job as a teacher. So it's not just like, oh, you can wear whatever you want. This is no, no, this is not corporate America, that it is made very clear that when you're a teacher that even your personal like.
Ooh sorry, look at this, and maybe it was laundry day, you know, even your party got nothing else to wear.
Like I said, she's a beautiful woman and I'm not, you know, like, oh people are hated, don't girl, I got it behind.
I don't have I don't have the top part like she has.
I'm like, girl, we can switch up, but but no.
I think that she is absolutely dropped dead gorgeously.
But did it just become like a forty year old soccer mama. I was like, it's a message you're getting to children.
I think children.
I think Getney Kiddy watches the vma' has already been scandalized.
Okay, yeah, for sure it is inappropriate. Girl, you're not going to be once concert.
I was going to Beyonce count But.
I am interested in thinking, like that's just my opinion, just from being a teacher and just from like, you know, doing that for ten years and like what the expectations were and what you know, I knew what the expectations were.
There as certain places.
That you work that there are expectations that you're not held to in other places, you know, and so I think that I would. I'd be interested though, in hearing our b A listeners thoughts on her.
You know what they think about?
Yeah, email us at the BA. Wait what is I'm turning into you? Email us the b A pot Wait what the hell is our gmails hell Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. Oh my god, what is happening to you?
Because you know what it's the BA at the BA podcast is Twitter?
Right, Yes? I just want to say, if you own the at Brown Ambition Twitter handle, you're messing us up big time, okay, because you never tweet and I have sent a letter to Twitter to tell me you never You have not tweeted since two thousand and nine, and why can't we have your Twitter handle? Okay, And it's just not fair, your Twitter squatter and it's rude. They are super rude. But yeah, tell us what you think of hot for teacher or a sexy teacher. Email us
at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. There you go, thank.
You breaking Brown boosting.
Yeah, what do we go? I see? I feel like we have it's like double the pressure because we had to Brown break and boost at dinner on Friday, we like did around. We did a round table boost and break.
I know, but I got a.
Little some something.
Okay, you go first.
I was gonna give a boost. I need a boost from myself. So I'm taking a break from coffee. That's one thing I had that one week where I was like, man, I'm really anxious at work and I was working late and getting up early, and I was like doping on the caffeine, like I had like an ivy a central line to the coffee. And I didn't grow up drinking coffee. So it makes me really crazy, and it makes all my anxieties and my stress just go through the roof and I can't sleep, and I have to tend to
have more stress streams when I'm on the caffeine. So I'm taking a break from coffee and I'm trying to replace it with and don't judge me. I've been getting green juices in the morning, green juices that have like cucumber, celery, ginger, nothing fun, spinach a little green apple for some extra fun. And because I heard that you drink green juice that has ginger and that's kind of like vegetables in it.
Then it'll give you energy in the morning. It's been about four days and I can't exactly say that it's working, but what I will say is that like stops me from eating like crappy food in the morning. Like I'm not really craving like bad sort of breakfast foods, but I am hitting a wall at the round three pm. And might I may have cheated and had a little green tea with some caffeine in it. But I've been sleeping a lot better. That's good, which is good and
no more stress streams. But yeah, I was waking up at like three in the morning and then five in the morning and then six in the morning, and just like you know, not getting good sleep. Not a cute look.
I used to do like my own I used to do. You make your own smoothies. So you're buying the well, here's the thing.
They're super expensive in New York. You can pay like twelve to fifteen dollars for a green juice. But my hidden secret is in Inwood everything is cheaper. So there's a little there's a little juice store down below us round the corner, and if I get there, they open at eight o'clock. So if I get there right at eight. It's only six dollars for a large green juice, although that's not so much more than my regular coffee, which was a four and five dollars daily habit.
So I used to make my own, honestly, and that was really good. I used to make a green smoothie and it would give me so much energy. I don't know why I don't do it anymore.
Because it's a pain in the ass. That's why pretty much cleanup. I used to have a juicer too, and you know why I stopped because it was a pain in the butt. I'd much rather paste among a little six dollars to make it for me and not to do zero cleanup.
Like I'm like, Tiffany, what are you doing? Like you know, I have plenty of time. I don't schedule any meetings before like eleven, so I'm like, make it. So I'm gonna try to get back into it, because I used to make smoothies out of them, like I would put spinach, kale, peaches were my favorite with it, and I just it would be honestly, it would taste really good. I would make it for Superman in the morning and he would just be like zing zing zing off to work.
So what about you boosting and breaking.
I'm gonna take a break.
I'm gonna take a break from multitasking. Not well, I don't think I can ever fully take a break from multitasking, but just to the extent that I have been doing so because I'm just looking and things are you know, I've heard the studies that people have done that says you actually get less done when you multitask.
And I can see that depends.
So I found that.
I mean, I mean, I don't know that you can live in twenty sixteen and not be multitasking to a certain degree.
But I have found that what I've.
Been doing is too many big projects at once. And I never used to do that before. Before I would always have one main project when it as it relates to my business, and then I would have like, you know, some like underlying smaller ones.
But as it is right now, I've got like four big projects.
I'm like, tiffany how, this is why things and I see the difference, and things are not going as well as as they should be, you know, some things are actually declining, and I'm like, okay, so I had to take a steack. I always like, you know, take a step back. It's really important if you have a business or even if you're working in someplace. And I'm always taking stock and what's working, what's not working, and being honest with myself when things are not doing well.
I don't like living in denial.
And I have a really great team and I really encourage them, like, Yo, the minute you see something's not working, I need you to tap me on the shoulder and say, girl, I'm in the trenches, this ain't working, you know.
And so my knows. We have an open door policy.
So I say all that to say like, Okay, I'm gonna have a team meeting and to talk about what is our even if it's week by week, like well, what project are we gonna work on this week?
Okay? Then the next week, what does that look like?
Because I think that that would just do better for what I'm doing, just because right now I'm just looking and I'm like, oh, there's so many things, Mandy. I'm like, how is this all gonna get done? Like I'm speaking at thinkan next week, ask me if I've written anything.
I don't even know what I'm talking about. I know.
Meanwhile, I'm doing like a mini like a mini keynote, and I'm just like, oh my god, just because on top of everything, I haven't even bought my fincon flight and I.
Leave next week, say what to who? Okay, I know, it's just I know.
And the thing is so crazy is that the team has been walking out. It's not even the part that i've I've and I.
Don't know if this if it's a mistake or I don't know.
If you own a business and you're listening, be a listeners, let me know. But the team has done so well that since they've come on, Mandy, I have grown like I've never grown before.
And it's almost like I can't I can't keep up.
It's like the team alleviated so much of what I used to do before that it allowed me to grow the business. I mean, from last year to this year, we have grown times five. And usually I double my business every year. This year we've I don't even know the word.
Can tupled it. That's the word. As a result of the team.
So it's not that the team is not working, it's like they're working almost too well and now I'm like I need more team.
So it's your fault, really, I know.
I'm like, so I'm like, okay, well, how do you I don't want to slow down progress, but I also know that it's just a lot of great things, and how how do you make all of these great things?
You know?
Like, I know, it's a good problem, so I'm definitely not complaining. But it's also something new for me because I'm used to growing at a speed that I can manage where I'm like, okay, new one good good thing. Okay, Sierra handles that. Ohdanita handles that. Now it's like ten good things.
What are you gonna do?
You've got four new sponsorships, five new brand ambassadorships, you know, ten new speaking engagements.
And I'm like, wait, wait, this is great, but half houseway.
And you know, family and Boo time and supers you know, spending time with Supergirl and Superman and cleaning the house and yeah.
So I'm just trying to figure out, like what the.
Like, what systems I can put in place so the business continues to grow. And I don't even know, I mean I wish I could. I don't really have a mentor. I'm not even gonna lie, like is it okay to say I I'm debating with do do I want to grow more? You know, I don't want to stop growth, But at the same time, I'm like, I don't want to grow so much that I don't have time for what's important.
Do you know what I mean?
I think this is a really important time for you because you'll figure it out and you'll figure out the right balance. But you have to kind of go through the storm to kind of like hit the wall and then figure it all out. You'll you'll find the balance you have to.
Yeah, No, I know, it's just I guess I'm just like, I don't want to not grow, but at the same time, I don't want to put business before all else because I could do that, but at what cost. That's not the BUDGETISA doesn't mean more to me than my family.
You know, you'll find out what's enough and when you can start saying no to yeah. You know. That was something that Ava du Verne was talking about on with Tracy on another round, because right now she has I mean totally different industries, but she has Queen Sugar coming out, and she's the first female black female director to get one hundred million dollar budget to do the film A Wrinkle in Time for Disney, which she's scouting right now.
And while she's doing all that, she was also doing that documentary The Thirteenth Hour for Netflix, and she has like she was exactly saying what you were saying right now, like I'm living my dream, but everything is happening all at once, and I am struggling.
Yes, because you're like, what do you do? Because you know, people are like, well, Tiffany, that's such a blass. It is.
It is a blessing, and I can honestly say I'm not unhappy. I'm just like, okay, Like my inner Tiffany is like you ever see like when girls play double Dutch, and like right before you jump in, you do that back and forth like.
Okay, yeah, you know that's literally like sometimes you don't jump exactly.
You're like, okay, do I jump in this rope? Okay? Like what should I back forth? Back forth? And That's how I'm feeling.
And I think what I usually like to do is I like to throw everything up against the wall and then I'll pick what I want to move forward with. But what's a little bit what's harder now and is that usually I don't have to account, I don't have to hold anybody, I don't have to think of anybody else. So if I decide to cut something like when I started in the beginning and something wasn't a fit, I can't be like, I don't want to do that anymore.
But now me saying I don't want to do that anymore means that maybe a team member doesn't have a job.
And you're managing people now in people's jobs to livelihoods are printed upon that work. Yeah, I see why you're stressed. Like, yeah, i'd be stressed too with that.
Oh no, But honestly, because you should see when we have our team meeting, Oh my god is the best because all you see these beautiful brown faces of women where you have our team meeting, like I w with ninety percent of the staff, it's like women of color and like almost all of us are natural. That wasn't like on purpose, like hey you black girl with no perm you work for me.
It's just that, like when we were reading and to find people who are a great fit. So I just love seeing like when we do like a like a Google hangout and there's six of us and I'm like, look at this, How awesome is this? That that the.
Because they are a true reflection of who I serve, women of color who are largely ignored, and here is a team of beautiful black women of color helping women of color worldwide to do better.
So I mean that trumps everything.
So you know, like I said, it's a good problem, and I'll share, like you know, as I start to figure out what the best solution is, I will certainly share you know what that's looking like. And because I know a lot of you want to start your own businesses and you know, so you could kind of see the good, the bad, the ugly, the hard, the easy.
You know, well, thank you for being honest, No, Brada, I appreciate it on behalf of our listeners, I think you.
So now it's time for tips.
I don't think we have any questions this week, but I did want to share some student loan stuff that I just learned, and I think that it will be helpful for our listeners who maybe have kids that you want to go to school, or maybe you yourself want to kind of like reduce your student loan debt. So let me start the whole get your kids to school for free. So I was working with this woman. Her
name is Angela house a housy housing something like that. Anyway, her site is the Financial Aide Strategist and Angela I paid her to help me figure out a program to get rid of my student loan debt because I used to be a teacher, and I learned if I would have met Angela years ago, i owed fifty thousand dollars, I would be my student loans would be completely forgiven by now Here's how So, when I lost my job in two thousand and nine, I could not afford my
student loans, so I put them in deferment because I thought, I'm being responsible. I'm not going to default, which means not pay. I will instead delay, which is defer. So that's what I did.
I deferred. I deferred.
I deferred up until basically like a couple of years ago, so I was actually paying.
I paid about three.
Years worth of student loans that had I known better, what I would have done back then is instead of defer, I should have applied for income based repayment. And what that would have done was I was making nothing, so my repayment based upon my income would have been zero dollars or like ten dollars a month.
You had federal. Most of your debt was federal.
Yes, this is oh sorry, yes, thank you for that, GEB.
Yes, so my debt is all federal, okay, so this is for federal people with federal student loans. And so I should have done income base for payment and I could have paid like next to nothing because I wasn't making any money for a number of years. So now I have I'm trying to think from twenty nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen sixteen.
That would have been eight years of payment.
Now, because I was a teacher, after year ten, my loan is forgiven. Had I enrolled in loan forgiveness and and enrolled in income base.
For payment public student loan forgiveness people who work in public service.
Yes, So like whether you work for a nonprofit, you work, you know, you're like a police officer, you know, for me as a teacher, And so I found out, I was like, oh, so basically I could have only had three more years left to pay, but because I was deferred and I was not making a payment, you have to make a payment, even if at zero dollars a month for ten years.
So instead I only paid three years.
So I still have seven more years on my student loan forgiveness track, and I was just like, oh, man, I wish I would have known.
But the good thing that she did help me with is I enrolled in student loan forgiveness.
I consolidated my loans, so instead of paying twenty five years because I was on a twenty five year plan with student loan folks. So now I'm on a seven year plan, which I only have because I paid as of my ten years for forgiveness, I paid three. So I'm on a seven year plan instead of twenty five years where I was before. So for the life of the loan, I would have paid about one hundred and seventy two thousand dollars. And now for the life of the loan, if I continue on my track, I'll pay
about forty eight thousand. So basically I said one hundred and twenty four thousand dollars over the life of the loan making this change.
And so I see all that to say that if you have.
Federal loan and you cannot afford to pay, instead of deferring or forbearans, really look into income base for payment because your payment might be zero dollars.
Yeah, but real quick though, So public student loan forgiveness, how can you qualify for that now?
So if you I know, I was like, wait, how did that work?
So I because I was a teacher for ten over ten years, So they said, like, I don't know, they're giving me credit for being a teacher for those years. I didn't apply then, And so when I got on the phone with federal, Oh, don't give me the name of the agency. Federal whatever government agency was handling my student loans, she called with me. But I had been I had been a school teacher for that length of time, so she said. He told me on the phone that I could still apply and you know, lock in my
right now and pay for the next seven years. So I said okay. And then two because I work with the United Way too, he was like, let's just say when you apply, because you still have to be either they still have to kind of give me the stamp of okay. But because I work with the United Way, the United Way kind of signs off and says, Tiffany works with us, then I.
Can go that route as well because I currently work with the United Way. So I was like okay.
So yeah, so there's that, and then so one thing I thought was interesting too, like let's just say you're trying to get your student into college for free. So Angela was telling me about this. The scholarship called the Gold Medal Scholarship. That's if you take the ACTS and you score.
A certain score.
I don't remember what the score is, and she was saying that start your eighth grader, when your child is in eighth grade practicing the Acts, so like lots of times during testing time, libraries or different nonprofit organizations will will allow your child to take practice tests for the ACTS, and that to get your child from eighth grade to eleventh grade to take as many practice tests as possible because a lot of that those testing, especially SATs and ACTS,
is about practice. And get your child to take that test as many times as possible from eighth grade to eleventh grade, so when they take it in twelfth grade, they score the highest possible.
Score that they can and if.
They reach a certain score level, you get the Gold Medal Scholarship is forty four thousand dollars in scholarship money for college a year, so basically free college, because I mean, you know, there's not too many schools that are more If you stay home at least.
Forty four thousand dollars a year.
So I thought that was really smart, Like, you know, I never thought about that, that practicing for this test way in advance, getting your child all geared up, and you know, working towards something like a scholarship like that.
She had a whole bunch of stuff.
She was also telling me, like, if you're let's just say you're an usher at a church and you volunteer and I think she said two hundred and fifty hours a year, which I don't know how many days that is. But if you usher your deacon or whatever, there's actually a grant that you can apply for and it's like
fifty two hundred dollars year. Your pastor signs off and says, asked, this person volunteers with us, and you can apply for this grant and it's free money because you're of service to your church or nonprofit because you give this much of your time. They were just it just there's so many things. It's like the scholarship guy.
I remember that guy on TV, the scholarship guy.
Yeah, it was like he would be like, there's a scholarship for that.
I remember being a kid and there was all this guy on TV that would had like a scholarship book and he would be like, this is Scott, are you left handed?
This is a scholarship for that. Are you a mom? This is a scholarship for that?
There really are you know, our fairy money godmother, Lynette has a really good book. Yeah, I'm forgetting the name of it. Now. Just go to ask the money Coach dot net. You can see the name of the book. But she, you know, she came on. I interviewed her at Yahoo when I was there. She saved her daughter, Golly almost she her daughter earned half a million dollars in college scholarships across all the colleges that she was accepted to. And I feel like my family was one of those families.
You know.
When I was in high school, I dreamed of going to Colombia and NYU, and my mom's answer was like, there's no way we can afford that not happening and go to a state school. Now everything worked out for me. I went to a great school, but at the same time, I wish we had known that. You know, there are
ways you can make really expensive schools affordable. There are scholarships, there are you know, different forms of financial aid out there, and the net price that you end up paying after all that is a lot lower than what the sticker price looks like, and it can be possible.
Yeah, So just longing, like I just for me, just you know, even though you know I talk about financial education student loans, that's just not my that's not my specialty. So just figuring out like oh, a little bit of research, a little bit of digging, and so I just thought that that was like, oh, who knew.
I mean, it's so the federal government has made it so complicated. And I know because I've been covering student loans for as long as I've been a personal finance reporter for like seven years now, and there is now four or five different repayment plans and come based repay plans out there, and they're all slightly different and they're all slightly confusing. But if you're interested in income based repayment, and it can be a great way to get more
affordable payments. You know, if you're struggling to pay out your federal student loan debt now federal only because private student loan DOT doesn't qualify, call the lender and you may have two or three different student lenders who are working with your loans, but call each of them and ask them about your options for income based repayment and whether you qualify and how low your payments will be.
And there's like some students, some income based plans are ten years, and there's a fifteen one, then a twenty and a twenty five. And of course the longer your payment plan is, like Tiffany said, yours was twenty five, your payments may be a lot lower. But yeah, you have to think about all that interest that you're paying because you have such a long term for the loan and public student loan forgiveness. Here's one thing that people don't know about, including my fiance who had to tell
about this. So he works for the government, he's been working there for seven eight years now. But you have to ask to be enrolled in those sorts of programs. But it doesn't automatically happen. So if you're a teacher or you work for the government and you just think you're making these payments, your your employer is not telling the Department of Education. Hey, you know, Susie has been
making payments. She's public student loan forgiveness. You have to actually call your lender make sure you're enrolled, and then every year you're you have to you have to re enroll, Like every year you have to re enroll for income based repayment, and every year you have to call them back and make sure that your year's worth of student loan payments have been applied to your one hundred and twenty payments for public student loan forgiveness. So don't forget that you have to reapply.
CLOUD just assuming that. I'm like, well, why wouldn't they know that. I was like, you know, a teacher. She was like, no, girl, you have to you have to sign up for that. I was like, oh, it's just so much adult thing.
It's not that you mean, it's not hard. You just have to call your lender. And I do want to throw a word of caution out there on the subject a Magnify money. We have people send us questions, dozens of questions every day. We get so many questions from people who say, hey, I got a phone call, or hey I saw a Facebook ad for United States Student Loan Forgiveness program, and you know, they want me to pay four hundred dollars and then enroll me in a
student loan forgiveness program. I'm like, oh, you mean the public student loan forgiveness program that is free for anybody to enroll by themselves without a company helping them. There's all these scams out there where they convinced you to pay them hundreds of dollars for something you can do yourself, which I just said, which is to call your lender and say, hey, hi, enroll me an income base or payment, or hey, hi, enroll me in public student loan forgiveness.
There are these companies out there, and they always have a very official sounding name like United States Student Loan Forgiveness Program. A lot of them have Barack Obama's face by them or an American flag and a website's looko legit. But they're scams, they really are. I mean, you shouldn't be paying hundreds of dollars for something you can do for free.
This life, I tell you.
Sometimes you're just like, oh, just when you think you read it's like a video game. Just when I think I've gotten to level, like you know, level three, You're like, oh god, there's twenty levels to this game.
That's a good thing. You have Federal debt. That's what I'm I mean, those people have private student loan debt. I mean, the best you can hope for is to refinance your debt at a lower rate because there's just not as many, you know, options out there.
People like man, stay away from those if you can private student loans, They're like, oh, those are the worst.
I'm just thankful that my dad was like, do not.
It's hard, you know, if you go to graduate school. I mean a lot of times you max out your federal student debt allowance and you have to go to private debt. I mean, there's a a and this is getting the gap between what tuition and financial aid cover and how much colleges cost now is getting bigger and bigger, and it's like, how do you how do you feel it? Parents are getting parents loans.
No, you're right, I have to say that I don't even know how I was able to do it because I have my graduate degree, and I don't know how I was able to go maybe because I went to.
I went to school.
Right here in New Jersey, but I don't have any private loans, although I use loans for my graduate degree. Like my undergrad I had loans, but Honestly, it wasn't that much. So I paid them off really like a year or two after school. I think I had owed like ten thousand dollars because my parents paid and you know, I always paid the interest each semester, and so I didn't owe that much.
But it's my graduate degree that I'm still paying for it. I'm just like, it's the only dead I have.
I don't have credit card debt, I don't have a mortgage, I don't have anything else, just these dagon student loans.
And if you guys have any student loan questions, I'm surprised you don't get as many student loan questions as we do, about like four or one k's and stuff. But you guys should email us at as gmail dot com.
I got it.
It's not fair. I'm off coffee now, I'm off my a game.
That's where I'm gonna pick up the flack.
I haven't had my juice either yet.
Oh man, So you want to end with some win.
I know the winds that we're gonna do, Right, We're gonna have some some wins from our Oh right.
Yeah, So at the end of the show, So I'm going to do I have another win. But at the end of the show, I wanted to so the contest that we ran to have our listeners come to our anniversary dinner. Part of that was writing us a letter and telling us what Brown Ambition meant to them. And it was a very vague prompt. Sorry for that, but the girls that we invited, the women we invited had some really heartfelt things to say about Brown Ambition, and I invited some of them to record themselves reading a
bit of their letters. So we're gonasure that with you guys at the end of the show. So we'll end on a very very high high note and hopefully inspirational. But separately, I wanted to give a win, just a shout out. I have a lot of a lot of my my my journalist friends who are out there. They've been all in. It seems like everyone is in DC right now. Every African American reporter in America is in
DC now because the opening. It's the opening of the National Museum of African American History and Culture in d C. So it's it's it's huge and the museum looks incredible. I cannot wait to go. You know, Oprah put a lot of money into the museum, so you know it's going to be right, and just I think there's a lot of good coverage of the museum opening, and from what I've seen of the exhibits, it's it's not like a it's not a comfortable history of African Americans in America.
It seems quite like you see the shackles that you know we're used that you know we're used on slaves alongside you know, Oh, this is one exhibit I saw Thomas Jefferson. There's like this big, you know, regal statue of Thomas Jefferson, but behind him is the name of all the slaves that he owned. And that's the kind
of stuff you don't see a lot of. It's like America's history is very positive, but it's also very dark, and I think it's you know, it's it seems like one of those museums where you want to spend hours and hours walking around and like letting everything sink in. But I can't wait to go.
One exhibit I really want to see that I saw posted on Facebook. It's a newspaper clipping that said something to the effect of six hundred dollars for the rape of his wife. And I was like, what, so, apparently a woman had.
Been walking home.
This is like old Jim Crow segregated South, had walked home and was kidnapped by six white men and rape and the husband went to the police and you know, filed complaint and they went to trial, but of course they were acquitted by a jury of their peers. And but the judge did offer six one hundred dollars for each man that had raped his wife. And I'm like, when you hear stuff like that, you just think to yourself, like, what,
I don't know? Sometimes sometimes do you ever just get like You're just like, what are you supposed.
To do with this emotion? When you read something like that or you see something like that, What am I supposed to do with this emotion? Am I supposed to break this window? Am I supposed to flip over a card?
Because that's how much rage or sadness or anger you feel. And you're like, and then when people don't acknowledge that this is happening and this is still happening, and people are like, because sometimes I write stuff on my Facebook page and I have some of my my my white friends from Westfield will write something like like I had something I said something about black girls rock, and this girl was like, I just wish it wasn't black.
All of our girls rock.
I wanted to strangle her and be like, girls, shut up, Like, can't you see beyond your own foolishness. We know all girls rock, but black girls have been told otherwise. That's why this exists. It's not that your girls don't rock. Your girls have always been talked to day rock they're white, but our girls have not.
I think it's you shouldn't feel obligated to explain the way you feel to people who don't get it. And I think that's you know, that's that racial syndrome fatigue. Yeah, what's it called again? Racial?
I'm calling in black today. I can't. I can't. I'm not there.
Yeah, but you know, I just went and saw I went to an advanced screening of the movie Loving, which is about the famous Supreme Court case rich Or Robert Loving and his wife Mildred were an interracial couple in Virginia. And this was back in the civil rights areas in
the sixties. And as you know, I'm a biracial baby was eighties baby, just twenty years after they went through this, and it was it was really hard to watch this movie because that you know, well, I it's like you feel the rage of this couple who are in love and all that they are country people. They just want a little house in the woods, not bothering anybody with their babies, and just to live a nice, simple life.
And they were dragged into the national conversation and you know, threatened and thrown in jail just for loving each other. And you want to get outraged, and it's like a it's a mixture of outrage, but it's also like defeatism and in the sense that like, well, it's it's already happened,
Like your outrage isn't really helping. You know, they've both passed away since then, And then I guess gratitude for what they went through as a couple, because if they hadn't gone through that, my parents never would have been able to get married. And it was hard enough for my mom and dad in the eighties, you know, just twenty years after that, it was hard enough for them, even though it was legalized. So I can't imagine what
it was like for that couple. And I guess you just have to replace it with the I guess the sense of gratitude for the struggle people went through to make life easier for us today, and then we just have to do whatever we can to continue that, to continue that journey, because you know, everything's not fixed today. There still is a long way to go.
And I think, like, honestly, I feel like when you have that rage, you don't have to replace it. I feel like, then, for me, what I told myself is that, Okay, this is what I tell my sisters too when they get mad at something. So what are you going to do? You know, meaning like what constructive thing? Take that anger and to create a solution, you know, in your small little corner of the world. It's one of the reasons
why I do the Budgetista. I mean, people are like, you know, is it only for black women?
No, it's not.
But do I think it's you know, I'm inclusive, but am I specifically?
Did I start specifically because people were ignoring us? For sure?
Ninety nine percent of the women are black. I didn't put out a call, hey, black women, come this way, but I know that, like, yes, finally there's something that's speaking to this population. So it's like I try to take that anger and say, well, what can I do to make where I am the small little corner of the world.
What can I do to make that better? You know?
Yeah, we got we got some pushback when we had from a couple people I talked to when we first launched the podcast and when I said we were calling a brown ambition, and a couple people asked me, well, aren't you worried about alienating, you know, people who aren't of color. And I was like, no, not at all.
I'm the worlds in the world.
You got it, You got it going on. You know what, go to go to the top one hundred business podcast and tell me how many brown phases using.
All the podcast is you?
So, this one little brown podcast, if you could listen, we will welcome you. But I don't think having this one little podcast is going to be a drop in the bucket of literally every other podcast out there.
Yeah.
So I'm like, yes, we are brown, and I think that we are looking at it from a position of inclusiveness. Inclusiveness bringing people to the conversation, you know, acknowledging that we have the same financial and career and business questions that everyone else has, but may not be getting the same kind of advice and the same kind of education as other people out there.
So did you want to end on an extra extra high note and have our beautiful, amazing BA listeners that won dinner with us read their their letters that got them chosen.
They got chose, they got chose.
Yeah, so this is what our listeners said, Brown Ambition means to them.
Brown Ambition came into my life while I was in the PR marketing industry. I was commuting from Jamaica Queens to Manhattan and so thankful that I had you two to accompany me on my community.
Being a part of the Brown Ambition family encourages me to keep striving for what I desire, and it is exciting to know that there is a community of women experiencing the same and uplifting one another along the way.
Brown Ambition has taught me to aggressively go after what I want. As Tiffany has once said, and I'm sure has said numerous times, I'm dope. Your personal testimonies on careers and relationships have been nothing but inspiring and have kept me going when I wanted to tap out.
My Tuesday ritual after lunch is listening to Brown Ambition as a wine educator turned biotech employee. I am encouraged to hear another career switcher thriving in her second field of interest. I also enjoyed the discussions amongst you all because it reminds me of conversations I have with my best friend Lauren, who is also a listener, whether living with in laws, anticipating a proposal, or celebrating each other's successes. Y'all embody the ambitious black millennial woman's experience.
As you can see, I could write a book, but I'll cut this short. I love you guys with much ambition and brown skin popping. Kristen