Ep. 22 — Why every woman needs an "F-U" fund

And then they had the What really disturbed me and I think everybody else was that The New York Times ran that story on letters or emails from the mayor and her team totally like making making light of making light of people who were complaining about the water and saying, like I think the quote was that they called them the oh, it's just an anti everything group complaining about the water, when in fact, the water is literally poisoning people. So that's why it took so long. And I mean,

I think the mayor will get kicked out. I don't know what the what do they get impeached? What do they resign? Like it's it's a it's an embarrassment and there's no exist for it.

This is one of those moments where it would not have been hard to fact check and say, you know what, they're right.

really covering it. So go ahead, Courris. I hope you get all the acclaim that you deserve. And just thanks for telling that story.

like the root that the slaves took. And so her mother is so dynamic, and I'm not surprised at her daughter like having those thoughts and feelings and implementing them, because that is her mother to the teeth. Like her mother is a is a doctor and has advocated for brown people to have proper nutrition and education, and so her daughter's just following right in her footsteps. They're both still brown girls. So we'll go ahead.

Janiss win there. Yeah, for teaching her to be skeptical of what she's skeptical and to ask for more of the books that she has and that she's reading.

not banning it. This week the oscars. Finally, I guess the culmination of all this was the oscars have decided to change the way that they select members of their voting I guess the only select members of the oscars, whatever group it is, the Academy Awards, Academy Motion pictured Arts can vote for the OSCARS. So they're making some changes, and I'm not so sure what the changes are, but apparently it's going to make it so that more people of color, well actually more people of color and women

for that matter, can actually vote. Okay, because like something crazy like ninety nine or ninety five percent of OSCAR voters or white men that are wh surprise, that's insane, and they wonder that's what makes it like when you have when you hear facts like that, and then you see there's been a couple of actors. One of them,

Charlotte Rampling, she's nominated for Best Actress Oscar nomination. She's British, came out saying that she thinks that all the people saying that the Oscars are so white, that that's racist against white people. Charlotte she's older, so you know, me give her a couple of you can give her a little bit of slack, but I feel like to look at a voting like you can't say that it's just it's based entire. I think there's so many different factors at play here that I'm making the Oscar so white.

One is that there's not a ton of material for black actors. Two, it's like a lot of people like Lupita Niungo came out saying this too, is that this year there weren't so many roles that black actors were playing that fit into the stereotypical black character slaves, maids,

that kind of thing. And then three, but you can't discount the fact that when you have a when everyone who's voting casting a vote is white and older and male, there's a ton of bias at play there, and they're gonna pick people who fit into their standards of what they think good art is or stories that are worth telling. And people are egotistical, like they think stories that feature

them are worth telling. And that's exactly that's a huge reason why you see the Oscar nominations come out the way that they have.

I'm glad that it's happened. I just think like the whole I'm not gonna lie. It was kind of like giggly how everything kind of went down was like, so, you know, first Jada, you know, she asked for people to to to kind of like, you know, I guess to say that they weren't gonna go like, you know, we're gonna work. I was honest, you know.

true Jada. It's a big, big supporter of like like initiatives to help like sex trafficking and people who are kind of like in the sex slave trade field or whatever. So Jada definitely is somebody who stands up for what she believes in. But it's just that they've never heard

from you as it relates to race. And what was kind of funny was that just a year ago, or not even a year ago, Will Smith had just done an interview where he basically said he doesn't there's not much racism in the in the acting world, and he doesn't really see it and if it does happen, you know, he chooses not to focus on it. So it was kind of like, so, when you win, it's cool, but now that you didn't get a nomination for concussion, it's not so cool. So people were kind of dragged her

for that a little bit. But to me, we'll put the shade cherry. The shade cherry on top of the shade ice cream was did you see on vib the first on viv go Off? Did you watch that video?

of a sudden say that oscars are racist. But then she brings she like digs way back into history to French prince days because like she was kicked off the show or like dismissed from the show. Right, yeah, she said that will Will basically or she tried to get you know, just like other casts of other TV shows had done, they tried to get together and have Will stand together to ask for more or equal pay for the episodes. And he was like, my salary is my salary,

and your salary is your salary. And I think she's still holding a little grudge about that, just a little. I mean, who can blame her?

should boycott the Oscars. Hollywood is not supporting these stories, like, I don't think Will Smith has done much to do that himself. So I take Spike Lee a little bit more seriously than I take Jada and Will as how I feel about it.

whatever you want to call it. But like, one of my favorite ways to categorize or to call this, like special little amount of cash you have set aside for a rainy day is an FU fund, which is I think some people like Tyra Banks sort of made this a popular way of calling it, but I just love it because, like that is literally what the purpose of this little pot of money that you set aside is, Like it is giving you the power to walk away from situations that you don't want to be in, whether

it is a abusive partner or a boss who's harassing you that you don't I want to work for anymore, you know. And there was a story on the Billfold, which is like a personal finance a blog which everyone should check out. They'd get really cool writing from a bunch of different, like unique writers. And I don't know if you've read it, but the story is called a story of a fuck off Fund. Part of my French.

really well done. She starts off the story by like talking about all these situations like giving you an alternate reality, like your life without an f you fund, where your boss grabs your ass and you keep the job anyway and you keep your mouth shut because you don't you know, you can't pay rent this month, Or your boyfriend pushed you against a wall when you're having an argument and you stay with him because you can't imagine covering the cost of a security deposit in a moving truck to

get out of that situation. And then she does the flip side at the end. She's like, Oh, and what if your life were different. What if you had this f off fund and you could say screw you to your boss and leave a work situation that's not healthy for you, or you can say I'm dumping you to a deadbeat boyfriend who's hurting you physically, emotionally, whatever. And it really resonated with me as someone who I was raised by a single mom who had to leave some

situations like this on her own. And I'm not going to say she necessarily had an f off fund, but she had the ability to walk away from some not great situations for her kids, for us, or for her, and I always I carry that with me every day when it comes to my own finances, like I save money so that I am free to do whatever the hell I want when things aren't working out in the way that I want them to work out at No.

sensitive to the fact that he had all girls. And so I remember him really drilling into my head, like you know, about how to manage my finances and how to be financially independent, and you know, him telling me basically, one day, you know, one day I want you to you know, if you decide to get married or be with somebody, that you're there because you want to be,

not because you have to be. Yes. So I just remember, because I like, we're African, so it's a very male dominant dominated like a culture, and so it's like, you know, what does your father have to say, you know, follow the leader of the man in your life, and so my dad is like falls right in alignment with like that typically. So I remember being so shocked when he said that, because you know, it's almost like he was going against what are typically our culture teaches. And he

was just like, yeah, that's cool. But for my daughters now, like I want you to not have to worry about your finances. And that's why I'm like the way I am now. You know, every boyfriend will I've ever dated will tell you that Tivity does not need any any help for me, Like I'm always there and not because I need to be there financially. And so yeah, if you can have that your job to just imagine, if you know you didn't have to stay here, you could just be like, you know what, I'm here because I

want to be. I think everyone woman or man should have few fund absolutely.

never going back there. I just I having grown up with a single mom raising four kids and then being you know, had these like professional experiences that weren't so great, like I'm never going luckily, I haven't had a terrible relationship yet, but I I sleep better at night knowing that I have not like my bags packed ready to go, but I have I have a ticket out at any time I want. And you know, my fiance knows that about me. He knows that I have my own pot

of money. And well, you know, as we're approaching like marriage together and even probably you and Superman talk about this, like how you merge your finances, Like maybe we will have you know, I don't know what it looks like for us yet to have joint finances. Maybe we will share a bank account or a savings account or whatever. But I'll always have just for my own peace of mind and my own like self esteem, self worth, Like I'm always gonna have a little piggy bank on the side,

and I'll worked hard for that money. And I think that, but you know what he told me, something that he'd and speaking of coming from a culture that really values male, the men and the family more like he's Dominican and his family definitely values men. But he always tells me how his grandmother, who since passed away, she was really special to him. She like set him aside one day and said, you need to find a woman who has

her own life and she's independent. And I wish, like I hope that there's mothers, fathers, uncles whatever out there talking to young boys too, just as much as they're you know, encouraging girls to have their own lives, to encourage men to value that in young women and don't feel threatened and don't feel less masculine because you're with a woman who's you know, got her own business, got her own life, got her own friends, family, money on the side.

to our relationship. But at the same time, what I love is that I in no way feel like I need to dim I don't need to not go after more. I don't, you know. He pushes me to do better. You know. It's just to me, like I'm more of an adult now that I understand that, like I personally have to seek balance, so I bring that, but balance does not mean holding back, and so it's just great

being with somebody that appreciates that, you know. And then he'll tell me that he's proud of me, and he'd just say, you know, like the other morning, I was up at like five am, like retightening my locks, and he was just like, I wish people could see this, that this is like what life looks like, so you

could get ready. I feel like okay, you know, or like, you know, because I'm always like doing stuff and he's like watching me pack my boxes and helping me bring stuff to the car, and he's like, you know, people think that it's all like lamorous, but I see how much hard work you put in and I'm really proud of you. And he's like, I just love the fact that you're helping people, because he's a giver to and a helper too, Like he's like the neighbor the neighborhood

like helper man. Everybody knows to knock on our door and be like, can mister Drell come fix my Like the other day the neighbor asks to like borrow our house phone. I'm like the house phone. She was like, yeah, ask Droll.

that more. But I think his mother was a very strong personality and worked in the community a lot and had her own and so she was a great example of like what that looks like in a woman. So yeah, I hope that more women are raised to know that they don't have to dim their light, and more men are raised to embrace that and encourage that light to shine even more.

You know, Oh, it's okay. I just have to walk on eggshells because so and so was mad that I had, you know, spent, I was out an hour late with the girlfriends, or came home from work late. But it's not normal, and you don't have to put up with that.

And I'm going to post this story, and I just want every woman out there who's listening, if you're in a situation like this where you feel like you're being held back by somebody, whether it's a job or your partner, like you don't have to put up with that start planning now for your fu fund, Start putting a little bit of waste so you can get the hell out of there and get someplace where you're valued.

we were together for like five years. I'm like, oh, marriage is the next step. And I remember having like a panic attack and being like, wait, if we get married, is life gonna stay like this? And that's when I knew, like if I had to live exactly how I'm living now, like is this enough? And it wasn't. And I just remember being like, I don't know. I don't want us. I don't want life to stay like this. I want to do more, but I know he doesn't necessarily want

me to do more. And that's when like the light bulb went on that like, you know, this might not be as great as as I think it is. That we're you know, as women, you're trained to think that like if a man's not beating you, yelling at you, or like you know, being like verbally or physically abusive, you're like, well, everything's great, but that's like the bare minimum.

You know that there's so much more. And I was just realizing, like you know, and even after I left, it was hard, like the transition and he was bad, you know, it was just like, well, you're not really doing that much with your life and I wasn't. And then finally I found my groove and just recently he like hit me up. It was like, you know, wow, like look at you now, you know, I'm proud of you. And I was just like, yeah, this is the Tiffany

I was born to. But I could not be that in that relationship, not because he was a bad guy, but it was not how I wanted to be and how he wanted me to be. We're two different things. And now I just love what I love about Superman is said, there is no how I want you to be. There's just be whatever you want. His favorite phrase is feel free when you're with me. So it's just like, well, whatever that looks like, just remember balance, siffeity, and I'm

just like okay, and so yeah. So women, yes, you might not realize, but if you can't see yourself the life that you're living now with your booth, your significant other, if you can't see that this would be the same life ten twenty years from now. If you feel claustrophobic or like, oh my god, I want more than this, that I would really really caution you to rethink your choice. It's time for brown break, like that brown break, brown break.

I feel like I still want a diddy. Somebody needs to send us like a little a little song, a little something so me and Manny don't have to sing about brown breaks every time we get together.

It decided not to just like come on in like light and just know it was a blizzard, like people can't even see their cars. I'm sick of it. So I'm taking a brown break from the snow. Thankfully, I have a cold, so that means I can't shovel, so Superman is doing the shoveling today.

get my snack. And it's getting from the TV by four pm to watch Oprah and say, what does Oprah want me to eat today? What does Oprah want me to read this week? What does Oprah want me to buy for Christmas? Like? She and I think a lot. I mean, she had a huge loyal she still has a huge loyal fan base even though the show's done. But I need a brown break from miss Winfrey.

also now like advertising for them. She has this really sappy commercial where she's talking about how it's going to be the year of her best body and weight Watcher's going to get her there. Apparently she's lost like twenty three pounds since she joined weight Watchers in August. Okay, congratulations, Oprah. I'm very happy for you, But like why, like it bothers me because she has so much money already, why does she need to make any more money from this

weight Watcher situation? And then why does she need to encourage people because the weight Watchers is not free? I don't know what I guess. What I don't get is like why anyone would take weight loss advice from Oprah at this point? And maybe this is shady, but how many different diets has Oprah Winfree tried? Like I must have? She pulled out the cart full of fat like pig fat? Was it like sixty pounds or the fat that one time?

I'll never forget when she had that one? What was that like her like personal health guru guy who would come on and they had the Oprah labels on different yogurts and different foods that you had to eat, and like some of those yogurts had tons of sugar in them. I mean, she's tried all these different diets and she's always been like trying to lose weight. And I feel like, if anything, Oprah teaches you that, like there is no one weight loss system for everybody, and that not every

weight loss system is worth your money and time. And I wish you would just sit there. It's just like financial advice, Like why don't you just sit down and tell people what they have to do lose weight is to eat healthy food and move a little bit and be patient. It'll take time. There's no panacea for weight loss. There's no panacea for financial solvency. Like and it just bothers me, like once again she's using her influence to get people to spend money on a product that has her face on it.

follow Gail King on Instagram. I think she's funny. But Gail started doing weight Watchers this past summer and was uploading, like, was uploading pictures of like her scale every week, and I'm like, she just started getting she knew that Gail's followers or her followers, and she starts getting the wheels turning, you know, starts greasing the wheels up, like, oh, weight Watchers, let me think about that. And then oh, a couple

months later. By the way, my best friend Oprah has a huge stake in the company and is now their spokesperson. So we have a question from one of our listeners named Lunay. What a pretty name, Lunay. I hope I'm saying it right. She says, Hi, ladies, what are some tips you can give to a college student looking to get into investing. I'm interested, but I don't know where.

Ovney Romney is a certified financial planner investment advisor. She has all the qualifications, so I would take her advice definitely. But I can still some of her advice and tell it to you, miss Luney. I would say, like, for a college student, well, congratulations, we're even thinking about investing at this age, This is a huge deal. I think right now you're investing in a non monetary way by

just going to college. Of course, getting a college degree will be the best way to earn more, depending on what you study. But I think if you, if you, I think the first thing you have to do is really figure out are you ready to invest exactly?

What do you have coming in, what do you have going out? How much do you need to be saving? The first step to investing. And I know it doesn't sound so sexy is a well that too, I was going to say we were talking about before, like the FU fund is having a little bit of money set aside for an emergency for the unexpected phone call in the night, the unexpected illness, unexpected medical bill, your car

breaks down. I mean, how many kids out there in college are driving like old cars that could break down in any moment, And you want to have cash on hand for those for those times when something unexpected comes up. So that's not putting money in the market, that's just putting money in a savings account.

into investing. That's what I did in my twenties. I invested with a quote unquote air quote friend and ended up a year later, not even a year later, a few few weeks later, in thirty five thousand dollars worth of credit card debt. That's another story for another day. We need to sound effected, I know, and so it's

because I was super eager. I was like ooh, I'm twenty Well at the time, I was like like twenty four, twenty five, and I was like, okay, you know, I've got a little savings, I got a little this, I'm ready. But I had no i idea about anything, so I just trusted him, was like, here's some money, you know. And it just ended very, very very badly. And so I wish that I would have one taken the time for a little bit of education of like, you know, reading some books. Like The Richest Man in Babylon is

a great book. You can find a free pdf easily online. Just type in Richest Man in Babylon. It's like seventy pages an hour or so.

there are all these great Facebook groups. So a friend of mine, well she's not really a friend, you know, like a Facebook friend, sure you know, but like her name is Maybell, Maybel Sorell. What I like about Maybell is that she's in her twenties and she like the way I love budgeting, she loves investing, and so she is a she Sally has her bachelor's degree in finance and then her master's degree in something financial like economics, finance,

something like that. So she is a financial analyst. That's what she does full time. But she loves investing so much. She started this group for women called Girls on the Money. It's a Facebook group, and Maybell just teaches and breaks down investing in this easy, easy way. And so I encourage you just to type in Girls on the Money on Facebook and just join and just like soak in the information. She also has like a like I think it's a weekly newsletter where she will explain what's happening

in the market in an easy way. Honestly, she has made me excited about investing in stocks and stuff because she just like says it in such an easy way. She's in her twenties, she's fun, she's cute. She just and so you want to look for kind of environments like that where you can learn first before you kind of dip your toe into the market.

a Vanguard Fidelity, td AM Ror Trade. All of these funds have low minimum balances for opening up an ira. And again, an ira is something you put money into and you can't take it out until you're ready for retirement. So you have to kind of figure out are you wanting to invest for long term retirement things like that that you're not going to touch until you're in your fifties and sixties, or do you want to just invest,

you know, to build some wealth on the side. And and you know, maybe asking for advice from someone or looking for advice from someone like a Maybell what's her last name, Maybel Cereal.

a bunch of books. One of the books that I read when I was just starting to learn about investing for work was Investing for Dummies. I'm not even gonna lie I may have ripped the cover off because I wasn't so embarrassed reading it on the train. But Investing for Dummies it it just tells you the basics. You know, what is a stock, what are bonds? What is a mutual fund? These are very technical questions that can be complicated, and you should read a book. You should educate yourself.

You don't want to read a book. Investopedia dot com is the best thing on the planet for answering those little questions like that. And if you're not ready, you don't think you're ready for opening up an IRA or opening up an investment account like an e trade or something like that. There's this new app like we talked about before called Acorns, and do you use it? I don't think use it personally? Do you like it?

to determine what kind of investor you are. It's like five profiles like are you conservative, are you somebody who's aggressive? Are you in the middle? So they'll choose from the five based upon your answers, and then they will invest

your money based upon those five profiles. That's why it's important to be honest, and so what I like about acorns is that it kind of tells you, like, you answer these questions like where are you currently, how much do you want to have, and they'll tell you what you should be investing a month to reach those goals, and then you can invest whatever you want. I think right now I'm practicing with twenty five dollars a month, and so it takes twenty five dollars out of my

savings account of a month. And my favorite part of acorns is this thing called the roundup. So it's attached to one of my checking accounts, and whenever I use that checking account, it'll round up to the nearest dollar and put that change into my Acorn investment. So it's kind of fun. So it's like, Okay, the money is kind of going in and it's going to this profile. So that's the good stuff. It's easy, you know, you don't have to really do much other than answer some questions.

So the bad stuff. So I ran it by Maybell, who I was telling you about, so she could kind of take a look with her professional eye, and she's like, you know, she likes the ease of it. But what she didn't like is that you can't readily see where your money's being invested like currently. So it'll send you a monthly breakdown, so I get to see my money monthly, like what it's doing, but it doesn't show like I would love to be able to go on Acorns and

it says, hey, Tiffany, your money. Your account increased by twenty percent or it went down by thirty percent or whatever that is, but you don't see that right away. It's kind of like you get a monthly report, so there's good and bad. To me, it's good if you're just starting and you just kind of want to like poke your head in and put a little bit of money in, but it's not to me. Acorns is definitely not a long term solution.

me start making more deliberate choices on my own. So it's like one of these apps that helps you save, but you don't get that much of interest like those, but it pulls the money out of your account, and so yes, you don't make much money off that money, but it just starts to have it off for you.

is you're gonna learn what kind of investor you are. Yes, when you're young, you may be okay investing in the stock market and being a little risky, as you have more to lose, you're gonna want to be more risk averse. You're gonna want to be more safe with your money. You're not gonna want to throw it all in the market and see what happens. And the market if you have, if you've been paying attention to the news lately, the market is going insane right now, Like it's been crashing.

It's been since the beginning of the new year. The market's been down like I don't even know how many. Like I checked my portfolio, for example, and I'm just investing in a Vanguard for one k and my portfolio is down seven percent for the year. And I could go in and start fiddling, diddling with things, and you know, trying to pick different investments. But I'm investing for Mandy Woodrow fifty years down the line, and I feel like

I'm gonna be fined. But it tests your ability to handle these market swings ups and downs, and you want to pick an investment strategy that matches your tolerance for risk. Like if you feel like you're gonna go drive off a cliff every time the market goes down, Yeah, maybe you don't need to be in the market at a hall.

dollar grant and she's researching how lasers can kill cancer. Awesome, Like just the same way we spend money on lasers for hair removal. Yeah, ladies, I know you do. The lasers can like kill cancer cells, which I think is just extraordinary. So apparently she's the first black woman to win this grant, which is ahead Hadiya. And this technology can help, Like if you've ever seen anyone like how to love one or yourself personally go through chemotherapy where

you're literally poisoning yourself. It can have just horrible effects on you, makes you so sick. It's really rough to watch people go through that. And the technology that Hadiyas is researching could replace chemotherapy potentially.

And then her uncle was diagnosed with sophageal cancer. So this I can tell her research has a real personal element. I like that, she says. This is a quote from her She says, I didn't hit a lottery. It's very structured funding for specific purposes. And yes, I applied multiple times until I got it. That perseverance and tenacity is critical for anyone black, white, female or male who seeks to build a career in science. So I just love that,

she I love. She points out too, that she kept trying and trying and trying, and to be one of eighty female physicists in the United States.

of whitpr Plug Plug. She was like, Uh, it's the number one watched morning you know news show or just morning show period nationwide. It's Good Morning America. Then to Today's Show, then CBS Morning, and I was like, it is.

But then I just thought, oh, they're gonna have me come on and do my normal budgetist to shick like this is how you budget, this is how you save, and no, it turned into like an intimate portrayal of just me and my life and how I kind of came from struggling financially and how I dug my way out of that struggle, and how I went on to then start my business and this movement, the live richerr Challenge, and so it was just so crazy because I'm just

not used to people asking me questions about me personally, and it's just, I don't know, it's kind of surreal. When they were taping, I'm like, wait, you want to know what about me personally? You want pictures of me when I was twenty? You want so I just can't wait. I mean by the time this airs that they'll probably have been out because it's gonna air on Monday, but I'll be sure to get like a clip and share. But yeah, so that's like a huge win for me because not too long ago, nobody cared.

was like so amazing because that was huge. I mean, it's still huge, and you know, but and that's why it's so important to have people, you know, at different levels, Brown folks at different levels, because if Mandy had not been there to fight for me, Yahoo would not have done that story. No shade yahu, but they would not have done that story about me. It was Mandy that made that happen and like forced it through and so you know, and like really paved the way for this

to happen. Now. So many times, you know, especially like me being brown, people don't really take like brown people in finance very seriously, and so they don't unfortunately, and

so slowly but surely people are starting to. And that's really what I hope that happens with this whole Good Morning America interview, that you know, maybe this starts to open up the door to mainstream America and media that like, brown people care about money and we want you to talk to us, and we want help and we want resources as well, and so yeah, it's just I don't even think My publicist, Drina was like, I don't think

you realize tiffany how this is gonna change. You know, this is gonna this is a shift in like, you know what you've been growing as a budget Nissa, and I don't think I realized, but I'm definitely open to that shift because it means that can help more people. And ultimately, my ultimate goal has always been to be a cert and whatever that looks like, whether I was a preschool teacher, whether I'm giving advice online, or whether I'm sharing my story. So it's just would you say.

you'll make it so much easier for everyone else. That's sort of to be accepted by the mainstream America. And I mean it's all it's all down to your work, though, your vision, your work, the budget Neista was your business, you know, and I knew there was something special. I mean, I wrote that story about you when I was a business insider. Yeah, because you were so unique and your voice was so needed and so different. And I'm just as I'm just surprised it took Gma this long on I'm happy for you.