Ep 219 - Black Lives Matter. Periodt.

what's happened. First of all, a lot has happened to the last show that feels like we stopped recording, and the most exciting news story was the Central Park Karen and Amy Cooper's probably like thank you, which is so terrible because don't forget about her, because she's a hot mess and deserves all the you know, whatever she gets. But then this news broke, and doesn't it feel like in the last week this I don't think this would have happened if it hadn't been for the COVID pandemic.

I don't think people would have been as connected to virtual world, like to social media and sitting around their houses with nothing better to do. And thank God in a way for this virus. I mean, it's so complicated, Like I'm kind of grateful that people have had all this free time to dig in and speak out and get galvanized around this this this social injustice and this moment in our history. But at the same time, I'm so I'm optimistic, but I'm also scared. I'm scared for

people out there protesting. I don't want there to be another wave of the coronavirus. I am dealing with my own internal demons. I don't know if you guys know, but half my family is white, and I don't talk to very many of them anymore. And I've been distancing myself for years now, and I realize I am I complicit by distancing myself by not engaging with them when I have a seat at their table potentially, and I

could be engaging with them. And so I've been slowly dipping my toe back into the family Facebook wars, which it's its own thing. But yeah, that's it. I'm coping. I feel optimistic, I'm scared I'm worried, but I'm hopeful. How are you doing? What's happening in your end of the your side of the world.

that follow me not a bunch either. White people have been silent because they're like, yikes, we've never seen militant tiffty, Oh my god, Cause you know I'm not gonna lie I want to. I already know. I'm very conscious. I grew up in an all white neighborhood. We literally, me and my best friend Ron were the only two black

kids in the whole middle school. I'm talking about middle school, six seventh, eighth grade, okay, And so I'm very conscious, Like you know, I used to be super comfortable in all white spaces, well comfortable as much as you can be, just as someone who grew up in white spaces. So sometimes I know I have an air about me that makes me black safe. So I was conscious that I knew there were a lot of white women. I knew

that following me. I know my core audience is black, but I've been doing a lot more white podcasts and things, and so I was getting just as influx. So I wanted to tell a story. I told the story about the neighbor so they could see that, Hey, you know, you claim that you think I'm so great, and it seems like I got it all together. Look what happened with this neighbor calling the police?

the police. So I told that story and you know, on Instagram, and I'm gonna say it felt it was. I was flooded with so many women, white women who wrote out to me, you know, just expressing like I don't know what to say, but that's wrong, you know, and so and I did that because honestly, black folks already know that story's not for you. That's the least like that. That's a small I mean, there has been way worse that happen to most of the black folks

I know. Like, if you are non black, and you are a non black man listening to this topic, ask any black man in your life, ask them about that one time with the police, that two times with the police. Literally every single black man in your life has a scary police story. Now that always pulled over and I got a ticket has a scary police story. Think about that. Every single black man in your life, I would centure to say, over the age of seventeen, has a scary

police story. What other race can say that? Nobody? And so these were things were like building up in me. And then watching people's reaction to the looters, I call it rebellion. And when Kaepernick neil it was oh disrespect, when it was hey, this is not right, Well, you guys are too loud and now that they're burning stuff down, it's like, what else could you? What else is necessary?

And then to really piss me up, I had posted Martin Luther King, who because everybody loves to lean back on Martin as if white folks didn't murder him, murder him, right, So I posted and where he said riot is the language of the unheard. Literally, someone's in the comments going, oh Martin, to believe that? Did you just see what this man said? I'm the video of literally Martin Luther King using the words from his mouth, and you know,

what would Jesus say? And then I posted John two fifteen Jesus enters into the temple with whips and turns over the tables of the money exchangers because Jesus rioted because sometimes people don't hear, so they got to feel that's what Jesus did, and they were like, oh, exactly. It's just want to tell you the level of rage. I've been like really trying to because I know that there's no I don't want the anger to just spoil.

So I've just been like meeting with my team and even just myself and asking, Okay, what proactively can I do other than donating and things like that. But for me, what can I do? And so there are some things I have in place, like I want to I want to mentor other black, brown and black business owners because we create a really safe space in our environment. And I know that so many people don't have safe spaces.

So if more there were more brand and black business owners, they can hire more brand and black people so they can have safe spaces if they don't feel safe in corporate America, which so many people don't or don't feel fairly treated. So yeah, it's just honestly to say all I have to say. I've been mad as hell. I've been mad as hell.

like most of Americans for a long time. I have carved out this very unique space for myself at my company where I am the main hiring manager for my team. I'm the senior leader for my team, and that means I hire the people for my team. And I am proud and it's not an accident, and I'm not afraid to say that that I have one of the most racially diverse, ethnically diverse teams in our company, and a company that has acknowledged this. That is no secret. It's

a public company. You can see for yourself. Above my level, almost everybody is a white man, and this is something that the company has acknowledged. My mentor, the man who hired me, is a white man, and I was speaking to someone I was told my mom earlier today something I hadn't never told her, which is that I don't know if I hadn't had that endorsement from my mentor this white man, if I would be where I am today.

And I've been afraid to say that. But at the same time, I also feel like that is the proof and the putting of the idea of allyship, the idea of being an ally because unfortunately, a woman of color walks into a room as I have been, and has been given a leadership role and his second guest at every turn for a long time. I got to skip go or whatever. I got a couple steps ahead of the game by having the endorsement of a white man

who was respected. And it's a damn shame. It doesn't make me any less qualified for the work that I have, but it has fast tracked me to the scene I am. And I'm not afraid to admit that I've never spoken to this guy, to this man about it, but that is the story that I believe to be true. Now. When I showed up to work today, I thought about it. I have a team that is largely female, mostly white,

but like I said, diverse. We have people who are black, we have Latinos on our team, we have anyway, just a wide variety of people. And I could not bring myself to show up to work today and not acknowledge it in some way. And we just happened to have our all team meeting on the first Monday of each month, and that happened to be this Monday. And I talked to my number two and I was like, I'm thinking of doing a moment of silence, and I just wanted to get her. I felt like I needed her support.

She's not black, but she's also a minority. She's a Pakistani and Muslim, and she's written about this. It's not a big secret. Anyway. I kind of felt like I needed her support because as a woman of color, I didn't realize this, but I am sometimes afraid to or as a way of protecting myselfs in those rooms where I'm the only one, you don't always want to bring up back that, Oh, by the way, remember me, I'm

the brown one. You want people to just take you as you are, and by me acknowledging what's going on in our country right now, it was almost like reminding our team, Oh hey, hey, y'all, I'm Mandy and I'm black and I'm a woman. So anyway, she was like, yes, we should do that. At the top of my at the top of the meeting, I said, Okay, team, I want to acknowledge the fact that there are there's so much going on. We're in the middle of a pandemic.

You guys have been killing it. We've been working business as usual, but I want you guys to know this is not business as usual, and especially what's been going on the past week with so much anger and frustration over social injustice in this country. I just want to acknowledge that it's happening, and I want to know that I don't expect you to come to work and pretend like you're not a human being. And so let's take a moment of silence, and you can turn off your video,

which some people chose to turn off their video. And I saw some people praying, and I saw some people, you know, kind of just closing their eyes for a moment. And I'm so glad that I did it, But I also felt like I held back, Like I didn't say you guys, black lives matter. I didn't say George Floyd's name.

I felt this like I still felt like I was censoring myself a little bit because I didn't want people to complain, Like I was a little worried that someone on my team might go above me and or to HR or something complain because you don't want to bring politics. Not that it's a political issue, it's a human rights issue, okay, but they might claim that there was some like political tone to what we're doing or what I was doing.

And I was a little cognizant of that, and I've never done it before, so I was a little bit nervous but I did it.

and so angry, and I'm like, what happened? He said he was in a car accident that this woman hit his car, so they both got out. She said she was so sorry. He said, no problem. They're exchanging like information. A police officer pulled up and said, what seems to be your problem, asked the woman. She okay? She said, oh yeah fine. He told my father why are you bothering her? And he was like, what we got to a cark? So he said, no, you're harassing this woman.

And she even was like, no, I hit his car. Beout. He said no, no, don't worry and basically bullied my father to get back in the car, and my father did. And it just that's what I'm just saying, do you for those of you who are not, what is that life for you? I can remember in college, me and my friend downtown New Brunswick talking to these cute guys who were outside. We used to call the guys who lived in the town in New Brunswick Counties because New

Brunswicks were Ruckers. It's a very college town, so these were townies so they lived there. We're like, ooh, they're cute. We're just outside talking and it probably was like eight o'clock at night. Police pull up. I'm not thinking anything of it because what I don't got none to worry about for the police. I didn't do anything. As soon as the police pull up, the guys stand up, go against the gate, leg spread, hands up, and I'm thinking, like, did they do Oh my god, they did something.

I remember being in a car I hadn't pulled over before. You know, please sometimes talk a little crazy, but it's different even as a woman. I've been in a car with my three male friends and one of them makes it. I was like, ooh ooh, wrong turn, wrong term, he makes a youth turn. Wooooo the police car. I'm like, god, damn. I told my bad I'll pay for the ticket because you know you're gonna get a ticket for this U turn.

Oh no, we didn't get a ticket. We got pulled out of the car, the car got flipped and searched. And here I am talking like, yo, what are you doing? You can't do that, and my friends are looking at me with terror. The three black men i'm with error like Tiffany, shut up. And I didn't get why, because I'm like, why should I shut up? This is not right, you know, like you can't do get it? And they were like but the look in their eye, I mean, these guys are big dudes. The look in their eye

was so scared. They look like two year olds that I just shut up. I shut up, you know, I stopped talking back to the police officer, tell him that he had no right to do that. And then I was like, why did you? Why did you? You know? When he finally were allowed to get back in the car, why did you? Oh, there was a robbery or something, he said, and I was like what. And when I got in a car, they were like, Tiffy, don't ever do that again. I'm like, yeah, but it's not right.

They're like, yeah, but it's more important for that we get home safely. And I'm just like, yo, do you know what it is to live like that day in day out. That's how people treat you. And I'm supposed to just smile at work. I'm supposed to just pull myself up by the bootstraps whatever bullshit that people tell you. Honestly, Yo, it's I'm like, burn that shit down. I don't care. Oh, Anista, you condone violence? Are you kidding me? Racism is violence? Right? Oh?

Slavery wasn't violent, y'all didn't loot every other country. It's violence. You're worried about Target. I haven't seen the people who have messages message me that they're so disappointed that I have no problem with with the rebellion, not the riot. With the rebellion. Those same people I look on their page and they're not once mentioning the death of someone. So you're worried about Target, but somebody died, Like I'm just like, yo, honestly, I'm all one. I'm like, anybody

can get it. I been lightened asses up all week, you know, because it's just I'm over it.

was not in your control. People don't want to hear that mess People don't want to hear or that something they had that they didn't you know, they just were, you know, born into gives them a privilege they want to believe the story they've told themselves, that they are special, that they are better, that we are weaker, that we are that we are less educated, and it's our fault.

And when you share these stories, I'm so glad that it feels like we have a safe space to share them now in my little small way, which afterwards, I kind of was like, that was kind of a cop out. Why didn't I just say what I was talking about. I pointed people toward the charity platform that my company supports, where you match donations, and I knew that they had a fund a platform where you could literally you could donate specifically to funds they curated that support Black Lives

Matter and social injustice movements, which was amazing. But I chose not to point that specifically out to my team because again, I just was I held back, so I put a foot forward, but I still feel like I could have gone a bit, I could have gone a bit harder. And what happened thirty minutes after that meeting

is that we got an email from our CEO. His name is Doug Lepta, it's not a secret, and he emailed the entire company and it was a very heartfelt email, and the long and short of it is that he acknowledged that he acknowledged that he was a white man. He acknowledged the pain of our black employees at our company, and he gave us space to speak on it. And it's small things, creating a slack channel, talking about being open, but the fact that he wrote that email, and I'm

sad to admit it, but I felt safe. I felt like no one can complain that I said what I said now because the CEO, a white man, has endorsed it and he has supported it, and he's given us permission to be angry, and that means something. And I'm not trying to say that you know our CEO, you know he has he you know he supported Republican causes in the past, and that's sometimes an issue with people

with the company. Whatever he But at the same time, I give him credit because it does matter what white people in power do in the wake of this crisis. And what I feel, what I feel what's shifting right now is I'm hearing less from people of color and more from people who are white, and even friends of mine who are Asian like talking to their people, talking to their communities, and explaining the history and how they've benefited from the civil rights movement, And that's what we need.

It needs to not be just our conversation. We need people who are not black to stand up and be enraged as well, because they should be. Any human should be. It's not their problem, our problem where the others we deserve it. Whatever, everyone should be enraged, and I at least feel heartened by that. That presents another issue, though, have you had what you said, like you had white followers who reached out to you. But the the other issue is, you know, and I've been posting on social too,

just trying to like speakle what's on my heart. And what happens now is anyone who has a lot of white friends or has friends who are not black, or family or whatever. They come to you and they want to tell you about their black cousin or their black nephew and how they get it and how sorry they are, and they want to pour into you and they want to pour out how they feel, and they want to ask you what can I do? Can you talk to me? And there's a level of exhaustion with that, and it's like, no,

I don't want to do the work for you. You fucking go educate yourself, and I'm going to share in the show notes. A couple of some people have taken it upon themselves to put together a publicly available list of resources documentaries, books, films, articles that any person, but mostly people who are not of color, should read, can read to educate themselves. Before you come to us and ask us to do the work, give you the girl notes, you know, spark notes, version of our history so that

you understand the deeper issue. And that's the next It's like the rage, but then the exhaustion, and that's where you hear people of color, like black people, we're fucking tired, tired of having to be the ones on top of our shit to explain to you the larger issue, the fact that it's not just one man with the knee in his neck. It's about decades, decades of complicity, decades of law enforcement not being held accountable for treating some

people differently than others. And beyond that, forget decades, we're talking about centuries of an entire race being being bloodied, being bruised, being treated unfairly. And it's exhausting, And listen, I'm not We're not a history teacher. We're not here to educate you. We need people who are willing to do that work for themselves and not put that burden on us. You know. Yeah, it's just and that's that's what I've kind of like been getting.

you help? How can you serve? And so I'm just really like I'm creating like kind of like a three point plan for myself of ways to serve, you know, even more women, especially women of color, black women, creating a plan of how I can serve especially black women that have businesses So one of the things where I did my first today kind of with like a friend of ours, she mine, Oh you know her too, but she has a small business and she had some struggles

with her team and trying to figure out, like, you know, how best to be a leader. And so every Monday I have a lead team call with with my lead team CFO, COO managers all of that, but really the Monday's just mental health checking Mondays. So I've spoken about before where I just check in. Like we talked a lot about you know, like cause we're a largely black team, so we talk like in black. I'm like, how y'all doing we you know, like we have not minceed any

words about how we feel. People are telling us how they joined marches and anyways. So she joined us today, my business friend, and we were basically coaching her if she had a finance question. My COFO was here. You've got an organization oh question, My CEO is here. You've got a question about content, my content managers here, you got a question about about your online school, your online plub, my literature academy managers here, you got a question about

leadership overall, I'm here. So it was just really it felt really good to pour into another business that it's on its way because because I posted this post that

I thought was so potent on my ig. It was by this attorney named Takara, and Takara said that, you know, part of the reasons why you've heard the you know, I'm sure I meta you've heard like I think it was a New York Times that did that article that said, like, black women are the are the fastest growing population of business owners of entrepreneurs.

and outwit almost everyone. Economic freedom is one of the ways that we're going to get free and financial boycott move the white populace's hand. When the kettle of racial injustice broiled over in Martin's day, Remember he marched and that's basically shut down that bus, that bus company that was racist to black folks. Right, so she writes, people claim that our needing and seeking out black owned institutions

to support is racist. It's not its survival. Your coaching programs want black money, but do not want black pain and black problems. You do not realize it's your problem too. We see you. We are tired. We demand more than you're telling us to wait for justice. Your status is of This is not the way fall on deaf ears after seeing so much death, Once you feel the knee of the black dollar on your neck, you will cry out and gas for air. That's the only way, folks, listen.

It is the only thing that moves governments and societies as a whole, the almighty dollar. I can attest to ninety percent of my team are black women, and they are almost all of them corporate refugees, people who have fled corporate America because of the abuse, the mistreatment, the overlooking of their skills and talent. And they've come here, weary, abused, and scared at first. It takes them a few months to realize it's real here, that we do care about

what you think and say. You are in charge here, you have autonomy. Here, I trust that you know what you're doing. I don't double check and nitpick that you run this company. Here, that we actually serve women that look like you with integrity and kindness, it's real and it takes the months to acclimate to that. And honestly,

it's the loss of corporate America. Racism means you lose too, because these amazing women that literally were pushed out, you know, or dragged out of their past positions have helped me to grow a seven figure a month a month company. So think about that, this small but mighty team. How is it that in four years, like one of the company that makes its eight figures a year, we've done that in four years with the team of women were there're places where they were before folks told them that

they weren't quite good enough. What a loss for them, But honestly, they're not deserving of these amazing women. And it just like a light bulb went on and something said, I want to help other folks like me to create environments for us, because when I posted that on Takar's message on Instagram, what really instantly hurt me and hit me was the messages of so many women who are like, I'm stuck in a place like that. Now they're basically choking me, like I'm dying here, Like so many women,

I just randomly quit. I couldn't take it anymore. Someone was like, you know, are you hiring? I would love to come work for you. And I wish I had a billion dollars so I could scoop up all the all the sisters that needed. But I thought, well, I don't need to. What if I could help other people to be financially successful enough and to help them create environments for folks like us, a safe space to grow,

learn and to love working. And so that's what I've committed myself to do, is we're going to figure or what that kind of mentorship looks like. So, you know, because I want to be I just I don't want to just be angry. You know, I don't mind the anger, but I want to I want to filter it towards solutions. And that's definitely one of the ones I've been thinking about.

And you know, I don't. I don't know how to. Also, people are going to ask hipy oh girl, do me and I'm like, well, honestly, I haven't figured out what that program looks like. But I need something. I need solutions. I don't like I said, I don't want to just be angry.

that's happening, or like that means so much. And for me, I don't think I'm going to be a refugee from the corporate world anytime soon. And for me, and for people I would say who have risen to a level of leadership in corporate America feel this. I feel this responsibility with the position I am in. Somehow I got here? Who cares? How?

was here. I want to be able to say I was here and what I did mattered and I made an impact and I don't feel like I can leave until I have done that. But at the same time, I did have to come to work today, which your employees did not have to do, and check myself before I acknowledge what's happening in the world and get I felt like I needed buy in from someone else on my team, and I did it. But then, of course to have the CEO's support that meant something as well.

But I say all this to say that for those of you who are working for companies, I think now it is a time for you to stand up and speak to your colleagues. It seems like something has shifted in the way that people are being open to hearing from us right now. So use this opportunity. Speak up, use your voice, you know, use it to your advantage.

Ask for the recognition that you deserve. Bring up the fact that, well, okay, this is what's happening in the larger world, but what's happening in our company is that we I've noticed in what position you have that there

is pay inequity along racial lines. Like use whatever platform you have to create change in your small pocket, wherever you fall on the corporate ladder, because I know so many of you guys are out there, and I can't wait till the world is filled, full fold filled with budget needs to inks, and I feel like we can definitely get there, but we need Unfortunately, the reality is that we need non black business leaders because they are the majority to feel our pain and hear us and

think that our cause is worthwhile. And I sincerely hope that you know those this does not end here, and I hope that it continues and we have to hold our business leaders accountable. Ask those questions at your town halls. Send the anonymous you know notes to your your companies.

You know they always have these like comment boxes or whatever ask the tough questions, acknowledge that there's inequities, and hold your leaders accountable because if you were afraid to do it before, I think now there is something shifting and there is an opportunity for you to do it now. I'm exhausted now, but I uh, yeah, I that's all. I that's all. I that's all.

need to fight for it even more. You need to have bigger balls than everybody else, because you have to go in there thinking with the Just today, I was talking to someone on my team and I was like, we were talking about tackling a new project that neither of us had much experience in, and I was like, listen, today, my name is Mark and your name is Ian and we are going to approach this project with the confidence

of a mediocre white man. Because the mediocre white man has never been told or has no one assuming that they're not good at something. So let's just pretend today that we're that person. I'll be Mark, you be Ian, and we're going to kill this because you know what, dude, we can do it, you know. And it's sad, but it's true. And yeah, I just feel I something shifting. I support the anger, fuck the looters, like I don't

support anyone burning out businesses. That it's unnecessary and it's heartbreaking to see that, but like we can't get distracted by that. People are always gonna commit crimes. Forget about looting. There's all kinds of people, all races right now.

brown folks walking out, you know. And it's so crazy because there was a woman who was calmly walking out of I forget what it was, what store it was, like Gucci or whatever, with all the stuff in her hand, and the news anchor while she's talking about the other looters saying, oh my goodness, here's a woman come up. Maybe she's an employee, of course, because she's a white woman,

so she can't possibly be looting. Imagine maybe she's an employee walking through the glass and the rubble with clothes on her hand, leaving. So it's just I'm here's the thing, like I I I don't care about that. I don't I mean, I mean, I don't know what it's like to, you know, have a storefront and for it to be broken into. But I assume that's what insurance is for.

And here's the thing, he'll be fine, exactly. And here's the thing that I think that as much as everyone's saying, it's like I have my my three my four year old nephew, Roman nephew was over yesterday and he was trying to get my attention, but I didn't notice. So he said, Auntie, Auntie, Auntie. I didn't hear him. I was talking to my sister Auntie. Next thing I know, Roman goes to the table and pushes my pushes something like I had like my phone on the ground and

I look, I'm like, Robert, what are you doing? He said, Auntie, I was asking you. That's what people do. You ignore, you ignore, you ignore, then you'll feel. And so that's where we are now that folks have spoken, they have Neil, they have Marsh, they have done all the things. The only reason why the world is listening now is because the world is burning. And so I am like you know.

why it matters, not forget who the president is. Yes it matters, Yes we must vote in November, but it is the smaller elections that truly matter, So, as Obama says, it's mayors and county executives that appoint most police chiefs and negotiate collective bargaining agreements with police unions. It's district attorneys and states attorneys that decide whether or not to investigate and ultimately charge those involved in police misconduct. Those

who are those are all elected positions. In some places, police review boards with the power to monitor police conduct are elected as well. But unfortunately, voter turnout in these local races is usually pitifully low, especially among young people, which makes no sense given the direct impact these offices have on social justice issues, not to mention the fact that who wins and who loses those seats is often determined by just a few thousand or even a few

hundred votes. You guys have got This is the end of the quote, y'all. This is me saying this is maybe y'all have got to vote in the non headline elections because that shit matters, and I can't. We need to make sure that people understand that in our communities, especially young people. That's where we can start shifting things. You don't have to run for president, run for your local city government that matters, that impacts people's lives locally where you are exactly.

Continue sending us notes, send us emails. We're going to take a couple of questions in the next segment of the show, as we always do, we want to hear from you guys. We want to hear what you're experiencing. What is it like for you at work today, What is it like for you in your small business? What's happening. Do you feel like things are shifting? How are you feeling feel like we're a safe space for you? To

come to I certainly feel that way. I may not have, you know, I may not have the support that people on the budgets this team have at my job every day, but I know I can come to you each week Monday or Tuesday or whenever we decide to record, and I'll have someone who understands what I'm going through and that that means something. Should we just end the show there,

Let's take questions. That's what I come from. When I'm saying I'm excited, it's just like, okay, finally, it's almost like, okay, cool, I'm gonna sit back and let the white people debate. How you know terrible? This is like, y'all got it? You know, educate yourselves is cool. Everyone else should be talking. All right, but let's take a couple of questions. We'll take a quick break and be right back with questions. All right, y'all, we are back again. You can shoot

us your questions on Instagram. Our Instagram handle is brand Ambition. You can also hit us up on email at broad Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com dot com. All right, so this is actually a good question. This comes from a listener from Instagram, and when I saw this question. I immediately responded and I said, yes, we will take your question. She She says, Hey, Madian Tiffany, I love the podcast and Kate wait to listen every Wednesday. I

have a question and would like to remain anonymous. I'm currently in an interim role at work and just interviewed for a permanent position. I work at a university and budgets have been shrinking. Even still, my predecessor earned twenty five thousand dollars more than I am, and they had a doctorate which I'm in the process of finishing. Do you think, if offered the position, it's wise to negotiate in the middle of a pandemic or should I just

be grateful and take what's offered? Can you guess what we're going to say to you? I had good question, right right right. Don't let a pandemic get in your way. It's not They're going to find a vaccine. It's going to be okay. And also, you know what's hard, it's hard to ask for more during a pandemic as an employee. It's also hard to hire during a pandemic, okay, because

not like companies are either. If you're not laying off people you may be in the middle of a hiring freeze, which means if you have someone who is eager and talented like yourself at this job, you're not going to want to lose you that person because you may not be able to rehire that position. So you have more power than you might think than you do. And one thousand percent, I think you should negotiate forget the pandemic.

you know next time. Let's just say, as a woman, you're already getting less anyway, and it's five thousand less, it's really not five thousand less, it's thirty thousand dollars less. It's a compounding problem. So going for what you're worth, people are always going to try to give you less. I am actually kind of like I we were talking about this earlier Mayda about like how I kind of blew the lid up. Well, I didn't even tell you

I blew the liddle off. I was just like, you know what, I'm just gonna blow the little fin Con. I'm tired of it. The founder of fincinn posted some really insensitive tweets, and I think, you know what, because people were like, oh, you know, don't crucify.

I didn't really like. The founder is a big, huge supporter of Heisha who shall not be named it's forty five, which I'm like, okay, but some of the things that he would tweet, because I'm you know, I'm an elevate which is a brown inclusive group for financial educator. So there's a there's a fincon Facebook group which I'm a part of, but then there's this brown Brown Elevate group that I'm also proud of. So basically it's everyone non white male in that group. That's when we have Asian folks,

we have Spanish folks. It's great. And so we would share those tweets and be like, yeah, this makes me really uncofortable, and people would share stories, but every everything was always hush hush. But someone from the group, Tasha, who I don't know, she's got like balls of steel, posted some of his tweets today in the FINCN group and said, let's discuss this ain't okay. And so it was the leaded and she said, ha ha, actually I think my post was deleted. Let's discuss this ain't okay.

And so people started to talk about it in the comments and then story started to come out of previous bad behavior and I wasn't gonna say anything, but I'm like, why are you not saying something, Tiffany. Why is it that we always get to be quiet? So I was like, you know what, earlier this year or like late last year, I was asked to do a keynote for fin Con. I mentioned this before, but I didn't say it was fin Con because I guess. I don't know. If I

was afraid, I don't know. I just didn't feel like the smoke. But I want the smoke now. And I was offered two hundred. Oh no, I was offered twenty five hundred, which is egregiously low. So much so like literally, churches pay me more. They will take a collection and pay more, and especially knowing that other other white men from years ago were paid up to fifty thousand dollars twenty five hundred for Tiffany, fifty thousand for a white man, And we are you talking to me about? So I

reached out to you, Manny, Yes we did. I was like, Pandy, can you find out what other folks? So I reached out to everyone to find out what other folks were paid, just so to see if I'm my bucket. And people were like, literally, I got a list from someone who was like this person twenty thousand, this present thirty, this person fifty, this person forty, and then Tiffany twenty five. And there was another sister who spoke at fin con and I said, let me reach out to her keynote,

let me reach out to her. She was paid thirty five hundred. So there's a clear pattern here. And so I posted it in that thread and then I posted on Twitter and it's probably went viral and yeah, and then instead of saying oops, my bad, he came back and doubled down. It was like, actually, that's not the deal. We approached Tiffany with. We said we would buy a thousand, two thousand of her new books Happy Birthday Molly Moore

for three thousand and fifty cents. Meanwhile, me and I told him it cost me five dollars just to print the book. So you offer so I can lose two dollars in every book? I'm sorry, how is that? And he was like, that's seven thousand dollars right there, oh, seven thousand that you give me, while I come at five thousand out of my pocket. Got it? And then

thank you pay and that he offered that. I said, you know, I was like, before he gave me his number, I was like, you know, I could totally bring three hundred Dream Catchers to fin Conn. They would love to come, and you know they would pay. And he was like, oh, okay, great, we will. Finn Conn in general has a affiliate program you bring like a certain group of people you get basically you earn some of the money that was given to fin Con, and he put it in this offer

that that would be some of my money. So he's telling me my pay is going to come from the money I give him. So I'm going to give you fifty thousand dollars and you gonna give me back twenty five hundred? What in the and the fact what was so crazy to me is that he shared a screenshot of the email he sent like, oh no, we didn't just offer tifany twenty five hundred. We offered her even these work. I had not I would say, I'm not

evn gonna fully play him. I had not even shared the full egregiousness of the offer, but he shared it, and I was like, do you even see how crazy this is? And you still have yet to address what were other people paid. So someone was like, so she

was right, you offered her twenty five hundred dollars. You on top of that, you offered her for her to have a loss on the books that you were going to quote unquote buying and then on top of that, you also offered her to a piece of her And I told him distinctly, like me, bringing my audience doesn't benefit me, it benefits your bottom line and your full diversity, like because you know my artist is going to be

largely black women that come. And so someone just actually messaged me today, another woman, another woman of color, was like, girl, you better than me. He offered you twenty five hundred years ago. He offered me a Starbucks card and some and some book sales. I'm like, no, he didn't. Not a Starbucks card, not a Star Wars card. Can you imagine?

So the lid is being blown off, and I mean it's time and so many women like literally messages me like I have stories too, and I'm afraid to say, I'm afraid to speak up for myself and even I'm not gonna lie, even with my platform now I feel I was nervous to say, and I was like, well, Tifny, what can he do to you? Like, I mean, is he gonna tell Dreamcatchers on follow Tiffany? But still there's a nervousness about standing up for yourself. And I to bring it back to the question, asked that if we

don't stand up for ourselves. Then who then when you know that had maybe someone said something earlier, wouldn't have happened to me, And had maybe I not maybe, had maybe I said something earlier, I wouldn't have had it happen to someone else. And it's like, I just don't want to be afraid to say when something is wrong.

You know, you know, I mean sometimes it is hard, But I want us to practice as women, as brown ambition folks, to stand up and say we deserve this, and to say when something thing is wrong, because enough is enough already.

about it. Now, I who knows, we'll come after you, But at least it'll make the runners of this conference think twice before they try and short change somebody who's worth so much more and try to make assumptions about someone. You have to know your own value and sometimes it is hard. You have to like, you have to do the power pose, you have to talk, you have to prot you know, to right, I give myself the white man name. I'm like today I'm gonna be Mark and

I'm going to go in. I'm going to destroy this bro because like we can do it. You need to pack yourself up in that way because unfortunately, what society has told us is that oh, you're a woman, you're a person of color. You know, things aren't there's not it's not unfairness out there. It's just that they're better than you and you're just not as talented. And that's

not fucking true. It's a lie. It's a lie that we've been sold to justify the success of other people for doing less work because they are privilege in ways that were not. And I'm glad that you spoke up. And that's just another reason why. Yes, this is pain and it's heartbreaking that a man had to be stolen from his family and God, I pray that the people who were responsible, including the man who held his need to that to George Floyd's neck, I hope I pray

that they are held accountable. But at the same time, Ugh, so many people have had to perish, and I just hope that their deaths are not in vain and we really finally start to see some change. Like dear God, we need we need meaningful results from this. We need those lives to matter. They do matter, but we need

them to matter in their deaths as well. And I hope, and you may it's a small you know, a small win, but I just hope that in some way, by encouraging people like you, Tiffany, to speak out about how you've been impacted in the world and other people, that we will see some real, some real progress. There needs to be an acknowledgment that the starting line is not the same. It's not it is not the same. Fuck your bootstraps.

You have gold bootstraps if you're born into this world, white and male, Okay, and it's it gets less the bootstraps get less nice from there. Okay, I don't even know what a bootstrap is. I'm just taking this, you know, it's on American terminology and just trying to you know.

And I did that on purpose. I was very conscious when I started the Budgetissa that I didn't want. I wanted that I earned my money from my from the very community that I promised to serve, and that if the only way I can mess that up is to not be a good steward of my service, and then I would deserve to lose dreamcatchers not following me or not not you know, not not patronizing my business. I would deserve that. So I really had to run through it.

Like Tiffany, everyone can't say, girl, but you can say, because what's what's he gonna do. He's gonna call own and be like, saw you had a Tiffany on own? Don't do that no more like you on black ball me. I'm black already, Like there's no. And honestly, when I looked at the thread of everyone that he reached out to about, like you know, basically he was like kind of like battling against everyone and it was like, hey,

tiff would love, would love to chat with you. Hey, tif The tone totally changed, and I know why because he's like, yikes, she's not the one, the two, or the three, because Tiffany, there's bullying that can really happen here. Not really, Like I said, even if he kicks me out, I'm not going back to Fankard. It's a rap for that, and so you know, but I just thought, like, Timmy, this is why you have to say something. And this is what with everyone in positions of privilege, it's not

supposed to be easy. That's why I told myself. I'm like, Oh, you're scared, you're nervous, you don't want to smoke today, you feel like you don't want to get in the mix. Yes, that's exactly how you're supposed to feel. And you're supposed to do it anyway because if you don't, there are people whose platforms are not as big that that genuinely would be negatively impacted if they went against him, that's

not you, Tiffany. You know, you're just feeling a little uncomfortable, and so that's why that's what because I was, I'm telling you, I vacillated, like I don't know if I should say. I don't know if I should say. But when I tell you, Mandy, how many hundreds of tweets people sent me, I didn't even you know, I just to me, it's just me, my sisters, my mom, my dad, and like like my three friends. So I don't really

look outside of myself. It's just me at home. But so many tweets of people being like what you but to you're the reason so many people say, you're the reason why I started teaching financial education. I'm talking about women of every shade and color and hue. You know, my heart was so full, like Tiffany, you this happened to you, and I thought, this is why you had to say something, Tiffany, because people need to know that

no one is exempt if we don't say anything. I didn't realize the impact that, like with what I had grown had, I mean, I know on my audience, but I didn't realize on the financial community as a whole. Just looking at some of the comments. It's just really, like I said, wore, how many women were like yo, I started teaching financial education because of you. Yo, Tiffany, You're my mentor in my head. You know, you're my

best friend in my head. That came up over and over because you know I'm crazy, and so everyone's just like, yeah, it's just I made the right decision. It's not easy. I'm sure it'll be some backlash and I'm still vacillating and fight even take the call. I don't. To me, there's no excuse for it. But I'm like, well, maybe it's an opportunity for him to learn and grow. I don't know how I feel about. I also want to protect my piece, so I'm also not looking to be

further aggravated. But yeah, it just we have to say something. We have to say something enough of the silence. Silence emboldens people and makes something they can continue to abuse others. No more.

speak out. But I also want to acknowledge the fact that some people are just so tired and they don't have And it's like you said, we have to speak out because we are in a place of privilege for whatever reason, and there are people who are too tired and can't take the risk who are out there and that's why you do what you do, and it's definitely why I do what I do as well, and that's a privilege in itself. Thank God for this show. Okay, what do we even do now? Do we want to do a brown boost?

It was so strange, okay, because insurance frog can be kind of boring, and they really they've reached out to me because they were like, we want somebody who's gonna jazz it up. And so it was so crazy. It came on primetime Sunday morning, right after the mayor had like a live address and I came on right after. It was freakish because honestly, I didn't know. I never know if something's gonna be a deal. I never know

until the thing. And so it comes on and it's like, let's talk about an insurance fraud special with Tiffany the Budgetiesta. I was like, wait what, Like I'm thinking, like, I'm just part of the special, not the special. So yeah, it just honestly, it wore my little, my little brown heart.

like that. You know, I've been like an expert on a show or like whatever on the show, but to literally like host and move things along and ask questions, it just yeah, I have to say it was a very very very cool experience, and you know, I felt good about it.

in our country. They are the like, instead of engaging with any white person, any Becky or any Keith or any Karen who tries to come to you and ask you please, you know, help me understand, just put a smile in your face and send them these links instead, and just give yourself the day off. It's not our job to educate people. And these Google docs, I don't

know who. They were curated by someone magical. I want people to share them because I've shared them, and I've heard from friends of mine who have taken advantage of them and actually gone through them, which is beautiful. And I don't feel like I have to go and tell you to go watch the documentary Thirteenth by Aba Duverne and all that kind of stuff. It's awesome, So that I'll be in the show notes. Please take the burden off yourself to explain to people what they can do

their own work to educate themselves on. And then next, I'm sure you guys have seen by now there is this. So I guess this boost is for my baby. I don't know just he deserves a boost. He's sleeping on his own in his own room right now for the first time ever. So he's on my heart. But there is this clip of I guess this kid was like on some reality show. But his name is Keidrin. Is that how you say it? Kedrin Bryant k ee d r O. Anyway, So Kedrin Bryant his mom, which I

think is also beautiful. So he's twelve year old, twelve years old, young black boy, and he has a pretty big platform because he's on this reality show. But his mother wrote this song and he sings these lyrics that are so powerful and the line that ricochet is through my head is I just want to live. And it is such a beautiful song. He only posted like fifty seconds of it, but there's already like remixes and will I will I Am did a remix.

first it's a funny thing. He starts to smile, he's watching the TV, and then he starts to cry as soon as Kedron gets to the line I just want to live. And you know, I'm like, what is he? Is this because of the song or is he just like does this diper poopy or what's happening? So I rewound it and I played it again, not because I'm mean, but just I did it again. And every time he got to that line, Rio just burst into tears, burst in a tears. They know and he knows, and I

just I felt so much. It was just really powerful and I feel like my son is like it's just he gets things and he's like every parent. I'm like, my son is the most special baby ever and he's so intelligent and so smart. But he's my constant reminder that I have to do better and I have to

teach him. And to anyone, whether you're a parent or not a parent, your an aunt, an uncle, you have a child in your life, there is a responsibility, and I want to do a big boost for anyone who has helped raise beautiful humans who respect and love one another. And we have got to do better. I think our generations, I millennials like we okay, but we can do so much better for the next generation. And I commend those of you who are out there trying to be a

better example for our young people. It's it's exhausting to think about it, to have those conversations with children. Even Tiffany, I don't know how you're talking to Supergirl about it. She's old enough to be there in social media and to be exposed to all this. And I will just say, give yourself grace to parents, aunties, uncles, god, parents, whatever,

give yourself grace. There's no perfect way to help explain things, but having that dialogue is so important, and I hope that I just hope that one of the silver linings here is that people do feel like they can have those conversations at the dinner table. And it's so important for us to tell our stories to our young people and not let them hear whatever, you know, altered version of the truth they're getting from social media or their

friends or you know, the media in general. So I think I'll I think I'll stop it there because this has been a very long episode and like I said, three classes of wine, and I need a force.

of the scam artist money. So they enter into your DM say hey, this is Tiffany's private account because I don't get to answer everything for my business this account, and then they say something like, you know, I can help you make money with bitcoin. I you know, it's a company that I use. You know, for every thousand dollars you invest, you get back eight thousand dollars something to that effect. Hey, I you know, what's your phone number?

Are WhatsApp? You the link? And then they steal your money. So that's been There's literally like six accounts floating out there, and I just I'm not going to do any more social posts about it because it just I mean, we I would just post every day. I only can say that not just for me, but don't give anybody on ig just random money. So folks have been messing g me like is this you I'm like, it's not. Yeah. I don't know what else to say honestly, other than.

and Fun was one that people were donating to. Anyway, my brother was like, well, be careful because some of these funds are actually run by white supremacist groups and who are diverting the funds. So you definitely want to do your googles and do your research before you donate to charities. And I'll shoot a couple of links to include in our show notes of where you can start

to find some charities to donate to. Because Tiffany, I don't know about you, but I've chosen not to be out there protesting, and it kind of has been hard because my sister, who's white and lives in Wisconsin, was out there protesting, and my little brother, who lives in Atlanta, Georgia, was out there. He walked seven miles yesterday peaceful marching

in Atlanta. I I don't know how to do it in a safe enough way for my child, Like I just don't, and I fear for people who are there protesting because the second wave of coronavirus, I just God, wouldn't it just be terrible, you know, to sicken our people even more by protesting, you know. So I haven't been out there marching, although if I think if I

was a year ago, I definitely would have been. But the way that I'm choosing is like using my platform to talk about issues and then to donate to some causes. So anyway, all this is to say that if you're going to donate, pull out your wallet, be sure you do your due diligence, and you're giving to the right groups, and you know, the last thing you want to do is give money to someone who's not going to use it for the right for the right reasons, the right cause.

give to people to get bailed out. So I'm trying to find like an organization that I'm like, oh, they definitively and definitely build people out. Maybe you know what I'm going to do. I'm gonna Callbikate like she's my friend who's an attorney. It helps out folks out like this. If she'd is like, oh no, no, girl, this is legitimate, That's what I'll do because I want to make sure to your point that we're making putting our money where we're really going to be helpful. Yeah.

that even an expression? Whatever? Three glasses fine? Uh, that will make you know a small difference in your community. So we'll include some links for you guys to check out for sure.