Hey, guys, welcome back to Brown Ambition Episode two.
Hey hey, hey, it's Tiffany again and I'm back.
So Mandy, welcome back. Yes, coming back. Life is pretty good.
Okay, I'm so excited you guys actually download and listen to the very first Brown Ambition.
Yes, we know it was kind of rough. We know that we're new at this.
Yes again, you can email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com with all of your complaints and make some compliments too, Yes, say something nice. We love hearing from you guys. Without further ado, let's start the show.
Yes for Buzzworthy this week, we wanted to talk about something that's not so much in the headlines as a part of our daily life, which I'm sure a lot of you guys can relate to, and what it's like to be the only one in the office, the only one who maybe is of color around the table.
You know, I didn't.
Really real or appreciate the fact that I was the only one in the office until obviously after college, when I actually got into an office and got a job. And I think that it's challenging in ways that I
never expected. There was a week recently and again I cover finance, which financial journalism is already a pretty small world, and you know it's there's very low diversity in general and journalism as a profession, which is something that needs to be addressed, but especially in financial journalism, there are so few of us, and being a woman, you know,
it's difficult. A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk and I was listening to another podcast which I love, called Another Round, which has these two great writers from BuzzFeed, Heaven and Tracy, and just listening to them talk like we're talking right now, I realize I haven't had a conversation with another black woman in my place.
Of work in two three years.
Wow, Like someone I work closely with, like that I can turn to and like say what the like, what's happening?
What did he just say? Did she just say? Or what should we say?
And having that sense of camaraderie. You know, I feel like I get that from my friends outside of work, obviously my family and stuff, but there's something about having someone to turn to at the office, especially when there's stuff, but especially when you're sitting on a table. You know, every morning I go to work and we sit around the table and talk about our ideas for stories.
For the week.
And you know, if we're talking about I don't know, gender inequality and income inequality in the wage gap, you know, it'd be nice to have someone sitting next to me to back me up. Yes, if I'm talking about pitching an idea to maybe for once not just talk about gender inequality as a whole, and maybe mention the fact that women of color, Latinos, Latinas and black women are way more likely to make face inequities. Yeah, and make and make less. That'd be nice.
So like for me, it's like it's a little different. So I'm entrepreneur. I have a business called the Budgetista. And so I grew up My parents are African. I grew up in a very African household, very homogenious. It was like Nigeria Central at home. But then I went to a very white middle school in high school, so it was like all almost all white at school. I'll give you an example of how white like my middle
school was. I remember I had my best friend Veronica, she was the only black girl, and there was one other little black boy, Bobby Tyson. I will never forget Bobby because every time a girl from school was like, ooh, Tiffany, you like Bobby. I'm like, no, you should like Bobby.
I'm like why so, And so I was like, I don't know, it's like sixth seventh grade, you know, like that's where you start liking boys, and you know, like my friends who were because I had white friends too, you know, and so my friends who are white were all, you know, they were kind of like linking up and starting to like boys.
And I guess they were.
Looking around for potential suitors for ten eleven year old Tiffany.
And they're like, hmmm, it's like the Pickens are slim for.
The until you were a catch, Yes, exactly.
What about Bobby Tyson?
For Bobby, he was a really nice guy anyway, So now it's a little different as far as being the only one. What I found is because I worked for myself, I don't go into an office, but sometimes I will find like I just did a speaking engagement with a really large corporation and I was surprised they asked me to speak because when I got in front of the audience, it was all I call it the white woman with wealth, And I was like, are you sure? So it was so bad that there was like maybe when.
Why didn't you feel why didn't you feel like you did you like not feel like you fit in?
Or that they wouldn't relate to what you were saying.
You know, I didn't think, cause you know, when it's well for those if you've gone to like a white high school.
I didn't.
I didn't notice at first, you know, because I'm just used to being I was used to being the only brown. But it wasn't until there was like one other brown woman in the audience. So afterwards I spoke. I did a really good job, so I wasn't nervous because I'd had no really notice. I mean I kind of noticed, but not it wasn't on the forefront of mine mind.
This woman pulled me to the side and said thank you.
So much, this brown woman, And I said, oh, you know, you're welcome.
I'm thinking she means in general. She said, no, you killed it.
She said when you came into the room, Tiffany women behind me were whispering like I know that's not the person who's speaking. I know it's not her, and saying basically like what yes, But I didn't know that, you know, And so like I know it's not the black girl talking. They thought I was there to check the mic, and you know, so when I spoke, they didn't, you know, because how could I know about personal finance? But like
I said, I didn't, thankfully. I didn't know that was happening, and so I killed it.
And that to me.
Is like what brown ambition is all about, yea, because people don't realize when you talk about being the only one or being what it means to be brown, what
is black, white, black, Asian, Latino, whatever. It's the fact that when you walk in a room, everyone's expectations, not everyone, but some people's expectations will already be so low to you and you don't know what that does to a person, yes, or what you know, you're projecting that onto that person, Like we expect so little of you that anything you do will be you know, will be surprised.
Yeah, and less thankfully because of just like this mixed kind of like upbringing of like a white high school African household. And since now I live in Newark, which is like largely black, so because of that, I didn't I'm so glad I did not notice the energy because I would not have done well, because I would have been nervous or maybe tried to overcompensate. But my thought was just to do what I always do, you know,
do a good job and then leave. And when she said that, I was kind of just like really, wow. I thought she's checking the mic. She's actually speaking wow. And then it made me question like, wow, why did this organization pick me? They knew the audience was going to be white women with wealth and they were like, no, we want Tiffany. And so it made me feel good that one that they believe me because this is like
a huge national organization that shows me. And then two it made me feel good because and it's such a shame, you know, you have to like carry the weight of your rates on your back. I know you felt that at times. But it made me feel good, like well, like, well you did good. So hopefully there's some women audience who the next time there's a brown girl in front, it's going to be like, well, the last brown girl, they're good, so you know, maybe give her a little bit more leeway.
But Cleen, Yeah, how many women of color who were in a place of position of power or were like killing it in their career Serena Williams comes to mind. Miss t Copeland, the you know who was just named the first African American principal ballerina at the American Ballet Theater.
Amazing, I know.
But they give these interviews and both of them will talk about the fact that they feel like they have to be amazing. There's this there's this additional pressure on top of the pressures of their field that they have to come with their a game every time.
You can't have an off day, because if you have.
An off day, then oh that's how everyone is, Yeah, how all your people are.
Or just attitude, you know, we have this whole brown girl attitude like oh so it's like, you know, if you if you're having a bad day and maybe you just don't like we talked about resting bitch face before, just between the two of us, and.
I totally have I hate thataning guilty, but yeah.
You know, it's just like and so if that's not what it is, it's not I don't necessarily have an attitude, but sometimes you have to do this forced fake smile so people don't think you're naturally mean. And so, especially if you're in the in the audience of the being the only one, because then you have to be like extra on. I mean after speaking, I literally went home and collapsed because I was so exhausted from being like extra extra on, because I wanted to, you know, I
did not want to disappoint the race. I did not want to misrepresent the race in the wrong way. Which is crazy to have to carry all that. I'm like, I should just be able to come and be Tiffany and leave and be Tiffany.
You know, on top of.
Being of color, you're also a woman in a field that has been We both are fields that have historically been dominated by men. And I feel when I speak up in the newsroom sometimes it's, you know, in the back of my head. As much as I try and stamp out this part of me, there's a question of, man, are they gonna be like, Oh, it's Mandy again talking about are all male all white panel? You know, like,
you know, oh, here comes Mandy. She's just always bitching about something, you know, doesn't she wants us to have the proper quotas of genders and races and stuff. And that's what you know, when you're the only one that's more easy to label you as that you know, it's more easy to be like, oh, she's just the one problem.
Person exactly, so it's clearly not an issue because only Mandy's complaining, right, It's like, well.
I wish someone else was here to say it's also an issue. There's also pressure on us, and you're talking about earlier. There's pressure on you as a black woman, me as a black woman, a man is a black man to convince others or to explain to others why they should be upset about something or where our struggle is coming from. I mean, we have to constantly explain to people what hashtag black Lives Matter is all about.
And I feel like.
It's so easy to educate yourself. Yes, you know what, You're not going to get this kind of education from like a school. I mean, you can't sit here and tell me, oh, well, they didn't teach us then in school, so it's okay, I'm ignorant.
I didn't teach me either.
I had to go out and read about, you know, my ancestry and the history of civil rights movement, and the civil rights movement's happening right now.
I'm just going, you know, just hit.
Up Google or Yahoo dot com search Yahoo's searching and find out for yourself. There's no reason why, there's no excuse to be uneducated about issues.
There's just none.
And there's just so many things that you can listen to, Like this is great podcast that Maddy and I both enjoyed called The Read, and they talk about race all the time, and I get it. Sometimes it can be really heavy. But then to me, it's like this that if you don't want to educate yourself, then just please be quiet, because if you're not going to educate yourself, then don't be like loud and ignorant. You can't be wrong and loud, like just pick one, pick one struggle and ride out with.
That until you've read what you need to read and educated yourself. Right. I think silence is Silence can make you sound smart. Yes, knowing when to shut the f up can make you sound real smart.
Miley Cyrus Tis Yeah.
So it is time for our brown break.
I don't know if you were guys, remember from last week we talked about what our brown break is.
So brown break.
Is explained to us again.
So really it's just when you're just like, you know what, it's too much, this brown, this brown life, this brown skin is just so heavy, and I just need a break from certain topics or just something that's happening right now. So Mandy and I each choose a brown break and we just kind of take a break from it.
Okay, let me know what's your What are you taking a break from this freak?
So this week I'm taking a break from mister comb over himself.
The donalds me too, me too.
He is just so offensive and just it's almost like he I don't even I don't know, I don't mean, I can't possibly understand what goes on in his mind when he says things, especially about the Latin community, and just you know, just so just racist and I'm just sexist, yeah, very And I just I just need a break from Donald.
I mean I needed a break when he did.
You know that show what I apprenticed, Yes, I.
Just needed It was just too much and I just needed to.
Be so much worse now because people are not because he's everywhere. Yeah, you know, and you know what, my people, the media, it's our fault. Honestly, we've made him into a subject worth talking about ourselves.
Yes, So that's it my break, taking Donald break, And I don't want to hear about Donald for a little while.
Just stay out of my mentions with it.
I recommend twelve doses of ignoring CNN dot com and also CNN the channel.
That is my prescription for you, Thank you.
My break this week is something that if you've ever written on the Internet, which is what I do as my job, that's how I get paid some way and somehow. You know, my biggest fee, your biggest fear is the Internet troll Internet commenters. Perhaps it's because I write for Yahoo, which has a one hundred ga jillion bajillion readership. Every day people log in, and some people log in just to troll, just to say racist things, just to get on their soapbox.
So maybe let's take a walk back, so tell them what trolling means on the internet.
Trolling Okay, So let's say you see an article. I'll give it an example. So I was down in New Orleans a couple of weeks ago to cover the ten year I hate calling it the anniversary, but it's been ten years since Hurricane Katrina obliterated the Gulf Coast. So I was down there and I was doing some stories about how African American men in particular have been left
behind from sort of the revival of New Orleans. They still earn less, they're still way more likely to be in jail, they're still way less likely to have a job. So I write this story and within a minute of publishing it, and you know, a minute's not long enough to read two thousand words. I'm not a mathetician, but I'm pretty sure it's not immediately emails, immediately comments why would I ever hire black people? This is all Obama's fault. We can't you know the same thing. Oh, you know
what they're gonna say. They're gonna say the government shouldn't be supporting these people. You know, they're all just so lazy, just racist, racist, racist stuff. And it's it kind of diminishes your faith in humanity because you write that I wrote that story with like such heart and such you know, taking so much care of the people I talked to,
and they were so open with me. Maybe I'm just speaking for my own personal experience, but having a very proud black father, it's not easy for a black man to admit that he is failing in a way and that it might be out of his control, and that he's not able to provide for his family, and the fact that I had gotten these men to open up to me about this experience and what it's like being in post Katrina New Orleans was very like it was
a personal story. I know I shouldn't, like, you know, put myself in a story, but it was.
It was personal.
I take it very seriously, and it's it's even it's all that makes it all the more hurtful when we have Internet trolls who just want to say completely unrelated stuff about my story and use the fact that I write for a major website and use that as their soapbox.
Yeah, it's very disheartening.
Yeah, it was never like. It was never I didn't want to give them a platform. I want to give people on my story a platform.
Yeah, that's what it's about trolls.
I always hear Opel say, don't read the comments.
Sometimes you gotta.
Yeah, sometimes every once in the blue moon there might be a thoughtful comment. But I'm with like, I feel like you should just.
Get rid of them. I wish we could get rid of comments. I don't know why we don't.
I remember one time I did this interview with huff Post Live, and I talked about how when I was like twenty five. I had made this really big investment mistake, and a friend of mine, well clearly not a friend, but air quotes a friend of mine like stole all this money from me off a credit card. And I was just explaining, like, I was really young and I made this dumb.
Mistake, but I was using it.
I used that mistake as a catalyst to start the Budgetista and to help people who had made their own financial mistakes. You would think there's nothing to say about that. People went and you're the dumbest thing.
How dare you be humanity?
I mean, that's just I can't believe you did that. Clearly you were selling yourself, your bodies just some crazy some woman said something so hurtful I had to write her back. And I wrote her back and I said, you know, this is so hurtful. I was twenty five years old, and at the time, my goal for investing this money with my friend was because I really wanted my parents to work so hard their whole lives. I really wanted to use that money to help them with
bills and stuff. And that's the reason why, you know, I made this choice to trust this person because the person was my friend at the time. He was independently wealthy, and that's why I made this choice. I guess I don't know what I didn't. I didn't hurt at her, I wasn't rude, but she was so shamed. She rolled back and said, I'm so sorry. I'm ashamed of myself. I couldn't believe it, she said, you know, I was projecting on you my own insecurities and thoughts and feelings.
I truly apologize.
So amazing how nice they are when you email them back and you prove that you're a human.
Yeah, well not all of them. Some people were just like I don't care.
I take I make it a point to email when it's an email. See, leaving a comment is easy. But if you go out of your way to find my email address, which I don't make easy, and you've found it and you've taken the time to email me something hurtful, then I respond ninety nine point nine percent of the time thoughtfully, and I would say about seventy five percent of the time I get it. I get an email back with someone who's very polite. Yeah polite, and they might have just said the most racist thing.
Yeah, so we're going to take.
A brown break from that Trump and you Internet trolls you know who you are, not not our BA audience, No, but the trolls don't take this opportunity to email on the foolishes either, like, oh, they need.
Some trolls in their all right.
So, now that we have taken our brown break, if you have a brown break, we'd love to hear, because sometimes Mandy and I might not need a brown break, You might need one, and we'd love to share it. You can share your brown break with us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. That's Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com, and we will share it and we can break together.
All Right, guys, it's time for one of our favorite segments, Tip of the Week. I'm going to go first this week because I get this question all of the time. I am desperately wanting to know how I can negotiate a higher salary for myself when I am going from one job to the next.
This may be a bit.
Controversial, but I say there's nothing wrong with inflating your salary a little bit so that you get a bigger bump from the job that's looking to hire you. And here's why. If you go in with a salary that you're already unhappy with. Like, let's say this is what.
I'd done for three years.
Early in my career.
I didn't negotiate, so I was already at a low salary point, Like I missed that on three years worth of raises because I didn't negotiate.
When I was.
Looking to get hired at a new place, I thought, Okay, I should be at this level, but I'm not because I haven't been negotiating. So I need to find a way to, like moralistically, ethically, make it okay to lie just a little bit about my base salary. So here's what I did. Let's make myself feel better. You can add in any little perk that you get. Do you
get free snacks? Do they give you transportation of subsidies for your car, whether it's gas money or paying for your metro car to take the subway to work?
Any little perks that you get do they give you? Do they pay for party?
Your cell phone bill that goes into your base salary on top of that? Do you have any things like stock options? Do you get a bonus every year? All that gets ated on top.
Of your base salary.
So by the end of it, I was about fifteen percent higher at my base when I went into this job, and because of that, they're not just going to meet you where you say you are, They're obviously going to give you an extra ten or fifteen percent above that. So at the end of the day, I worked out a twenty five percent raise just because I gave my base salary a lit little bit of a boost. And there's some quid pro quote quotes like you should do
your research. You should make sure that whatever you're giving them is still within range of what's acceptable for the job that you're going in for. You can easily find salary estimates on glassdoor dot com or salary dot com and ask friends who are in the same field as you to get a sense of what's realistic, because the last thing you want to do is ask for way too much, which is going to turn off an impossible potential employer. So that's my tip. And don't be afraid.
I was like sweaty palms on the phone, like telling this not quite a lie, but kind of a lie. But in the end, I feel like I'm finally made up for those three years when I wasn't asking for what I deserved.
Mandy woodro if you is smart.
So my tip for this week is to create a money team. So if anybody watches boxing, you've probably heard of Floyd Mayweather and he has a money team, which mister Bieber is on.
I need the people who take pictures of him with suitcase full of cash.
Yes, but you're not gonna have that kind of money team. Your money team really is just a team of just people who hold you accountable. So on your money team, you'd want your accountant because you're gonna have to pay taxes. You're gonna want bay, your significant other partner to be on board. You're gonna want at least one friend, don't. Well, that's okay if you don't have a base. So this is just some potential people who can be on your
money team. So you can have your sister, a coworker, someone at least some other person aside from you who's working towards similar financial goals, and you guys can work toward them together. They don't have to be financial experts, just someone who's a good cheerleader. So no one who's gonna make you feel bad, like, oh so you bought that dress.
Huh, that's why you're broke.
That is the antithesis antithesis to a money team member. You want someone who is gonna, you know, congratulate you when you do well and hold your accountable when you kind of fall off. So that's just really really critical to have just someone on your team, like I said, outside of your professionals, like a financial advisor, a CPA, an accountant, and if you are owning a business, you
might want to have a business coach. Those are just some things, but at the very least, an accountability partner, someone who you can just check in with weekly or bi weekly on some of your financial goals. It's like going to the gym with someone you know there's gonna be some days that you don't feel like going and your partner's like, well, let's go. And some days your partner doesn't feel like going and you motivate them. So get yourself a money team.
So some wins.
Let's move on to wins, Yes, wins of the week. You go first.
So I'm way up. I feel blessed. Here's why because oh right, hashtag blessed. So I have bae based Superman. That's his his ego, his name, his alter ego. I call him Superman. And because I've been happy in love with Superman for the last year and a half, I've also been gaining happy love weight.
And yeah, isn't that great Wendy cooking that good food?
Yes, exactly, I just put on a little extra twenty pass. So because I'm the Budgetiessa, I'm really not looking forward to buying a whole new wardrobe. So I said Tiffany, I have to come down at least some.
There's not a magic like weight number.
It's like, really when you get to the point where you to spend money, Yes.
That's really for me.
Yeah, so for me, I don't really like for me, I don't you know the amount is so much, it's not so important. Is that Literally things are just like too tight or like address that I have.
So normally are like a jeans and sneakers girl.
And so I have some dresses that if I'm speaking as the Budgetiessa, I have like some Budgeanisa clothes, and my Budgetissa clothes are looking like club clothes.
They're all like super tight, like They'm like, so I can't wear this.
When I speak at my next engagement.
And so I've joined the gym and I joined before, but I'm actually back at it, and so, yes, that is my win this week, that I'm back at the gym. So I can, like, you know, bring this delicious down to a mild roar.
And yeah, so I can just get back in shape.
Excellent about you, you know I have.
I'm a proud big sister, and I'm gonna give my winn of the Week award to my baby brother who's not a baby anymore. Alex James. He's twenty three years old. He just graduated from the University of Georgia, which happens to be.
My alma mater too.
He graduated in May, and he had not one, not two, but three job offers before he even graduated. He studied sales and marketing and he has an amazing job with the company that I don't know if I should mention or not, but he has an amazing job as a sales representative. And I was so proud listening to him not only get three job offers, but like work, these people he had them, you know, competing for him. Oh, I got the offer from this one place. What can
you do? Oh, they're going to give me moving expenses?
What can you do?
He was playing them like a violin, and it was I was really proud of him. And he's just he's everything. He's Brown Ambition to me. He's such a strong young man and I'm just so proud of him. And he's living in Atlanta now in a sweet little apartment. And that's not even the fact that he's earning good money. It's the fact that he's being really responsible.
I love it.
So we're going to give a happy dance for Alex James.
Alex James and everyone who's graduating college and doing their damn thing, yes, earning money, saving money, and being responsible. Because you hear so much crap about how millennials, especially irresponsible, especially Brown irresponsible living with their parents, living in the basement, don't want to be held accountable. And I think that my brother and his friends are an excellent example of the opposite of that, as do I.
So that's it for Brown Ambition this week. I hope you enjoyed.
If you have a win of the week you'd like to share, please please please send it on over or you just have some comments, questions, maybe you have something you want us to talk about. You can send it to Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. You can also tweet us at the BA podcast and Facebook us at Brian Ambition, and we will respond and hopefully read some of what you share with us on the air.