Hey, hey, hey we're back. We're brown, We're black.
Hey Mandy, Hey, what's up? Happy Brown ambition Wednesday?
Yeah? Super? Gee?
Have you been geeked about what?
I don't know. No, Like, I just have some exciting like of projects. Well really, my children's book. The illustrations are completely done and I'm Molly Moore. I'm just super excited because it's gonna come out Q one, so the first three months of twenty twenty. So I'm just I'm like excited, get nervous. I haven't like shared any of the new pictures or anything, just because you know, it's like, my baby.
I thought you were going to say you got a Popeyees chicken sandwich.
Oh no, you know they sung out.
Yeah, That's why I was. It's like the new crow nut. Somehow.
I'm like, that's so crazy.
Which is we were at we were at my husband's cousin's place and they just randomly decided to order Popeyes through door Dash and I just was cracking up that Popeyes even delivers through door dash. And then the news I didn't know they were doing a sandwich, and then it's like all anybody wants to talk about this week is their damn chicken sandwich.
Yeah, honestly, someone was like, girl, it's the same thing as their whatever sandwichich is ficy mayo. But you know, it's just they tipped. It's like if you ever read Knockolm Gladwell, it's the tipping point where you know, at some point when an idea really catches fire, there's like a tipping point when it just you know, goes over from just like every day people knowing it to everyone knowing it. And so it's like on fleek when your when your grandma starts saying on fleak, you know that.
Apparently the world needed another chicken sandwich option, I guess.
So I know popeye'es is like whoa whoever came up with the marketing is getting a raise. Okay, I mean.
Gail King was instagramming live from Popeyes that they had the sign on the door saying they're out of sandwiches, which is good marketing because now it's like the black market of chicken sandwiches. You guys, please don't buy you know, questionable. Yeah, Popey's chicken sand You don't know if it's a real deal, Like, come on, be safe out there.
Somebody made it there because I did see someone had it online for seventy five dollars. I was like, I can't can't wait for.
Real, I thought you were just making that.
I mean no, no, no, I did see like but I'm like, I don't know if they were really selling it, if it was like a fake ad. But I saw like this, like someone posted like is this ad reel seventy five dollars? That's crazy? Oh lord, this is so. I was on Facebook the other day and I saw an interesting post by our friend friend of the show. Well, you know Jason Vitug.
Right of course, so con World.
Yeah, so Jason super dope. He he too is a financial educator, and he posted something really interesting about the Fire Movement and I just wanted to see, like your feedback on what you thought. And he he said he had an interesting and perplexing conversation with someone in the Fire movement and he been ridiculed over and well this is basically what he said. He said, the Fire movement.
He finds it interesting that folks, and a lot of folks, not everyone, A lot of folks in the Fire Movement kind of, for lack of a better word, mock folks who spend their money on consumer goods. But then one of the ways that the fire movement supports themselves is by investing in the stock market that is supported by those who buy consumer goods. So you know, if like let's just say, like, you know, you think that people are dumb because they buy the iPhone, but then you
buy Apple stock. If that person doesn't buy the iPhone, you can't you know, your stock would not be worth anything. So like where does that hypocrisy kind of like stop and end?
And you know what I mean, like, yeah, they're benefiting from consumerism because they need they need companies to do well exactly, so they Yeah, I totally get it. So he got he got hell for that.
Yeah, which he was like, you know, he and he this is what he was saying, which I totally agree he's saying, like I'm not saying, don't benefit. But it seems a little hip, you know, like it's a little there's a lot of hypocrisy going on when you're like look at you, you full you bought Apple. You know, you bought an iPhone. Oh thank you for buying the iPhone, because with the iPhone, I could not be my family
this week. I mean you know what I mean, like, and so people were in someone said, yeah, that's exactly how it is, and he's like, well, don't you just think that that's wrong? And it was so weird. I mean, yeah, I just I thought that was really fair, and he was just like, you know, I just thought it was crazy how people were really coming at him to say, yes, I judge those people, and yes I benefit off benefit off of their choices, and I just I don't know.
It's I think it's one of the reasons why I've seen kind of like this pushback from the Fire movement, which you know, maybe we should explain what the Fire movement is. Have we ever talked about it? I think we have.
Oh, I'm sure if you're if you're a regular listener of the show, we've brought up Fire movement and I've shared my thoughts on Yeah, we've talked to So it's fires, its financial independence, retire early. It is what the acronym stands for, and it's this movement where people save and work really aggressively in their early years so that they
can retire early. And they the issue comes up because a lot of these people who retire early create blogs or businesses where they teach people how to retire early, and that's kind of how they are able to retire early, or they had a big job before in a massive savings or they were well invested. You know. It's so for me, it's always been about if you're gonna, if you're gonna, you know, market yourself as someone who's cracked
the code. And I retire at thirty five or forty five, and they really crack the code, then really crack it or tell us exactly what you mean by you retire early? What does that mean? Are you like living on a yacht or are you selling courses on how to retire early? And they're you know, because you did it. But in order to keep retiring early, you need to make money off these courses you're selling to people who want to
retire early. You know. So and on top of that, there's there was a New York Times article about how it's very much white male kind of voices in this community and how we went of color or stepping up and speaking out more about the movement and you know, all that jazz.
Yeah, So I just thought that was really interesting, and I just thought it was like it was dope of Jason to kind of bring that up to be like, look, hey, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with fire, but maybe you should take a look at you know, what are you really saying, Because the truth of the matter is if everyone follows your stringent advice there there would be no movement for you.
Yeah. Yeah, so fair assessment.
I thought that was interesting. I was key keying over the comments. I said, ooh, they're dragging Jason, but maybe he chopping my popcor. I was messaging him cause I was like, you know what, I don't want to get into the frame. I feel like I pull more and more away from the financial community somewhat because there is sometimes there is a lot of judgment that I'm like, oh,
I'm not here for that. I mean, there's definitely some dope pockets that I engage in, but overall sometimes I'm just like, oh my gosh, like okay, Like I feel like people are bashing the go ahead and get the latte, or they're like, don't get the latte, or it's just I don't know. It just seems like a lot of tug of war and pulling over over nothing, you know, Like I just I just don't like the direction that
some of it has gone into. That almost like in order to rise up, you have to bash someone else's way of doing it, you know.
Yeah, there's so much competition to be a financial educator and make money from that career path right now that I honestly think it's just people who get our being defensive and like territorial because they are worried about their own livelihood, like this path that they've chosen to educate people, and they think sometimes the way you need to do it is to like keep up errors or like keep up this image of that they've created for themselves or whatever.
And honestly, like, you don't need to to educate people about their finances. You don't need to be a perfect example. Now, like have you ever had a doctor who is like overweight, or like look you know what I mean.
The hairdresser whose hair is a little bit crazy.
Look it's crazy. Yeah.
When I first first first started, I remember I didn't want to share that I had a foreclosure and I was like, girl, someone's going to do a google and be like, ah, you budget these the foreclosed in you know.
So I remember the first time I shared it and someone was like, oh, my god, thank you so much girl, because I'm like, well, dang, if you could bounce back from that, then so can I. And then that's when I realized, like, wow, the more I shared honestly what was happening and how I make mistakes and how I still make mistakes, that I don't consider myself any financial guru. I'm just someone who's like, when I learned something, I'm going to share it and I'm going to be open
about my experience about it. That's it, you know, like I A would say, like I, I'm your financial girlfriend, not your financial guru. Then then that I felt like that's when the you know, the floodgates kind of opened for me. But yeah, I just I agree that. I don't know. It's just I'm not going to fincom this year. No shout, no shade to Fincon.
Sometimes she turned her back on them. That's why we never get nominated for a damn what's that work? What's the pluta? So they never nominated. They know we're one of the best podcasts out there. I'm just gonna say it, we never get nominated because I'm.
Not mand for two plutacent worlds this year.
Oh lovely for you, Yeah, they love the budget Mesta.
But yeah, but were we not? We were nominated one time. Weren't we for podcasts?
I don't remember, we want but we were nominated.
I feel like perhaps, But yeah, sometimes it's just like I said, sometimes the energy just can be like, oh my goodness, I thought we were just here to help and serve and you know, but yeah, so that was just like my two cents. I just thought that was interesting and like, how you know, just a little hypocrisy in our industry that I don't know. I just feel like I really don't believe in extremes, you know that.
I feel like most people dwell somewhere in the balance, and that's where I try to reach people that I'm not here to be like you are terrible, or like there's only one strict way to live life. I just don't think that that because the truth of the matter is if everybody only ate vegetables, you know that we would be overrun by animals, if anybody everybody only ate animals,
and we would be overrun by something else. Like there's diversity for a reason, Like it's one of the ways we're able to sustain life that everyone doesn't all do the same thing, so that should never be the goals. That's what I think.
It's that core thing you learn in preschool. We're all different, we all have our own unique, whatever way of doing things. I don't know, people are crazy, but that's that reminds me of a good question we're going to answer later from someone who basically is getting like worn down by all the advice, the save and the payoff debt and wonders when where's the where's the advice and how to work fun into the equation. So we'll get to that question. Let me answer questions later in the show.
Something else I saw, interestingly enough, I was like, I'm not a big New York Times reader, but call I know, called what American CEOs are worried about? So speaking of like, you know, white men in business, because I think we talked about that, like the fire movement. So nearly two hundred executives meet annually and it's called the Business Roundtable. And Jamie Diamond of JP Morgan and Chase, they're like, you know these made you think of like Apple, PEPSI, Walmart.
All these executives meet annually to talk about, like, you know, what what can we do to continue to dominate the world. And so interestingly the talking business now, which I think is so crazy because I feel like small businesses have already been on this that before the Business Roundtable, their stance were was that basically that they were here to cater almost exclusively to the shareholder. So we want the
shareholder to make money. And now they're saying that, you know what, there are other folks that we should be concerned about as well, and so that's to protect the environment, to deliver value to customers, to invest in employees. I'm like, well, clearly they're only doing this because at the bottom line, at the bottom line, like all of these companies really
care about the bottom line. But apparently this is what I love, what I call like the millennials shift that because millennials are such a huge dominant force and you guys care about more than just money, and because you care about more than just money, you are shifting industries with your choices that you are forcing these big, huge companies like this to say things like this like we want to invest in employees and protect the environment and
value our customers. They never said things like this before, and so I just thought that was really interesting that that was something that they're taking this big stance on. We'll see how it actually plays out in these companies. But the fact that that was even a stated issue and something that they discussed at the business round table, I thought that that was there. It's a it's a basically,
it's a lobbying group. I thought that that was interesting and very telling about the times we live in.
Yeah. I saw that headline how public companies are focusing on the customer and shareholders aren't as important anymore. Yeah, I mean it's kind of like, duh, create great products that serve your customers and and you know that's that's
one way to have good business. And a lot of times, like if you're if you're an employee like I am, of a publicly traded company, you may be a shareholder and also an employee and a customer, so you you and you're helping if you're working for a publicly traded company, and especially for me, like I want to feel like my company is putting out a product that I can be proud of. And even the way that millennials choose jobs I think is changing, Like there needs to be
like even though I'm working for a corporation. It's still a service driven industry, like we serve people, we help them compare you know, financial products in a way that's very simple and easy to do. And I can I can feel I don't know, I feel like I'm still in that service ye industry and that that's an element
that's important to me. We actually did a survey with our with across the whole company, like an engagement survey or whatnot, recently, and one of the questions is how involved the company is in philanthropic uh efforts, you know, do they and do they feel genuine like do you feel like we genuinely care about these efforts? And it was interesting to see the results and how they and
then how they varied by age. And Yeah, I think that they'd be stupid not to for in terms of recruiting and also just like retaining their customer base, not to to to focus on those types of efforts to to keep their businesses alive. Yeah.
I thought that was really interesting that like, wow, that I'm like, you guys must be really affecting that bottom line because I don't know, these big companies to shift or move because they feeling formally buzzy exactly for real, because you know that for millennias, you know, they're always like, you know, you guys don't buy pet food or no, that's not true, you do buy that. You guys broke the knokin industry. You guys don't buy pantios or whatever.
That's true, right, But.
So many industries are so many things. Millennials are entitled. Millennials aren't lazy Blineal's millennials millennials. But but look, I think that that I mean, to me, this is, this is tremendous progress that because you guys are like, there's something, there's bigger, bigger things that we should be focused on. Let's look holistically at this world and at life. And look, you are forcing the hand of these huge conglomerates who really,
quite honestly, I know, could care less. But because millennials are not just talking about it that you are putting literally your money where your mouth ish. You're forcing the hand of these businesses that otherwise would continue on as they've always continued on. So that is a big win wroot for millennials. See, Mandy, y'all be doing good things.
I mean, I feel like all I can say is you're welcome.
You speak for all the millennials.
You're welcome America. We are making the world a better place. Could we just vote though? Oh, can we get to the polls, lin, We'll really see, We'll really see.
Well, one thing, one thing at a time, Millennials.
One thing at a time. Oh, in true millennial fashion, I sat my butt on the couch last night and watched the VMAs on MTV when they aired. You know, I felt I was like, I watched commercials even I was really tired.
I was.
I was just so tired. I just I watched like maybe an hour of it. Good you know, good, good entertainment. I almost knew most of the musical acts. Love Me some Lizzo, Love Me some Lizzo. Have love Lizzo for so long. I'm so happy for her. Oh my god.
Yeah, she's just so dope. And honestly, I was really gek because you know they you know, they did the they shot it in Newark. Yes, Yes, the time was a buzz and I love that they really honored New Jersey all throughout the VMAs. They had Queen Latifa, who's from Newark.
They cut in to her to every performance. It was like, what's Queeney's face. She loved Taylor Swift, which oh Missy Elliot.
And they also had like Naughty by Nature close out, which is like I remember when I was like in high school, Naughty by Nature like you know, hip hop paray. Oh, they actually had a store downtown Newark. Uh. So it was just like such a great you know, just I just everybody knew were super excited. They were like pre parties and post parties and and so the night before I went by to see the red carpet. It was just so crazy to see the full build out right
there downtown Newark. I was like, look at Newark. And then, because you know what's so crazy is the day before they had the Black Girls Rock taping. So I'm like, yo, Newark is really getting cute. So Black Girls Rock on Sunday and then in VMA's on Monday. So it was just a great weekend for Newark.
I mean, you can't forget the Jonas brothers. Come on, is that from Jersey? You can't forget them. Though it wasn't my favorite performance, I knew I should have turned it off though I didn't see Naughty by Nature, Yeah, they were not I should it should have kept it going. I was just like, Wow, I'm really just sitting here and like watching commercials and you know, it's cool. It's cool, it's cool.
Are we ready for questions?
Let's do it. You guys know how to reach us if you have any questions career financial. You know, we're not go to investment advisors or financial experts quote unquote, but we will give you the realist answers we can possibly manage based on our joint experience in this world.
Exactly. We're not financials. We're your financial girlfriends.
I like that. I'm going to steal that. So to contact us, how do you do it? You can hit us up on Instagram at Brandabission Podcast. Just shoot us a message. Be patient because our inbox has been, you know, getting beefy. Some people have been coming for me and my personal dms. You guys, that's my off time. I don't work at Mandy money is not a work account. I'm not taking questions there. Continue hitting us up directly
at Brandabision Podcast. It also helps me keep organized, Thank you very much, or you can email us at Brandabission Podcast at gmail dot com. Yes, ma'am, let's take a question from a Mama Bear. Mama Bear who goes by the name of Amanda, who has an interesting question I mentioned earlier on the show about balancing what she feels like she should be doing with what she wants to do with her finances. Here's amatus question. I'm a mother
of two nine and three years old. I make good money as a designer, and I live in a two income household earnie just over two hundred and fifty thousand dollars collectively. I've been very focused on paying off student loans about fifty thousand dollars left, and saving for retirement, maybe paying down our home our mortgage is about two hundred and ninety five thousand dollars left on it, and thinking about helping my kids for college or even paying
for their college. But at the same time, I'm reading the news and the Amazon's on fire, and the ice caps are melting, and crazy people are in office, and I worry that my beautiful brown children could be hurt by police or in school by a lunatic. So should we just go on vacations, maybe see Yellowstone before it gets turned into a mall or something, or go to Europe before Americans are on permanent time out from the
rest of the world. I love this question. I hate to be so morbid, but I don't know if I will have grandchildren. I feel like I have brought children into a dying world. Is it stupid to have retirement funds when I feel like there may not be a retirement in the sense that we think of it now. Sorry to be a bummer, but hope you guys can help.
I really feel for this woman because as a natural pessimist, I want to first of all, I'm miss into this article that I that I just stockpile these articles to remind myself you will live longer if you're an optimist. There's an article in the New York Times Date that has a study on this. So, first of all, as a natural pessimist, I totally I'm thinking about bringing this baby into the world, and I'm thinking the same exact thoughts. I just haven't written them down, so it's totally normal.
But Tiffany, I mean, what are your thoughts on letting the bad out there and the uncertainty influence your financial choices? Because it's a valid question, you know, do everything right and get murdered tomorrow or live your life.
Here's the thing. I totally get it because it is worried sound, But can you imagine during World War One, what they felt during World War Two, what they felt during the Civil War? Like there are there have been times during history of great upheaval, and yet here we are still. And so I just say all that to say that that at the end of the day, you know,
human beings don't necessarily have the final say that. You know, we I know, we create so many issues in the environment and with each other, but quite honestly, we always have. We've been a hot mess since Adam bit that apple.
Okay, so bring us down to earth.
No, But I'm just saying that, like, honestly, human beings are a hot mess. We just are, and somehow yet we persist, and I'm sure one day we won't. But I don't think one day it's going to be in the next ten years, quite honestly, so I don't think it's going to be the next fifty years or one
hundred years. So you still have you know, I don't want you to throw away your your future because you're worried about the present that we have literally done worse with less, So I would just continue to be you know, continue to Well, here's the thing. You have to balance a living in the present. So you should go to Yellowstone and enjoy life. You definitely should, But with keeping an eye on I still think I'm going to get to this desired goal of like seventy eighty ninety years old,
because you likely will. The likelihood is that you will, and so I would manage both that. Enjoy now because that's what everybody should be doing anyway. But planning for the future is still critical because the likelihood is you're going to make it to the future. And guess what, We've had terrible presidents like Donald Trump is the worst. I mean whatever you're listening, you're like, what, I love him, girl, that's your personal choice. He is the worst, right.
He is in a safe space.
But I mean, hello Hitler, and yet here we are.
Okay, he wasn't our president, I know.
But what I'm just saying that in general, we've had some terrible, terrible, terrible leaders in the past, and yet here we are. You know people, I mean, if you could even imagine, who are worse than Donald Trump. So I just say all that to say that we have been in similar and terrible situations before and yet here we are. Things don't always. Trouble don't last always. That's what somebody's grandma, I'm sure has has has said over and over that trouble don't last always, and so don't
plan for trouble. You prepare for trouble, but plan for for good things.
Yeah, I really want And like I said, I'm a natural pessimist when it comes to my finances and even I'm finding out the future of my child, I'm like, I constantly ask myself, what if they're a serial killer? How do you not raise a serial killer? Like I'm sure there's some great moms out there who gave birth a serial Like you know, I'm like, just and I have to change the way I have. I just have to purposefully. This is one of the reasons I started
doing pre natal like for New Moms therapy. It's been very helpful to me to just change the questions and the stories I'm telling myself, because yes, it's in one way, it's good to be woke and aware of what's happening in the world, But does it really serve you to only think about the worst case scenario. No study show it makes you die sooner, So I'm trying to be more of an optimist, and luckily I've got a husband who is an optimist and can shake me out of
my negativity. Negative spirals sometimes when it comes to your finances though, and what really has helped me is I have a plan for the best and the worst. Makes me feel very comforted to know that should, you know, should things go belly side up, you know I will have money in the bank, and that I am building something now that I can my children can one day
Inherit makes me feel good. But I'm also focusing on my personal happiness and taking a vacation for example, that was a big deal for me, and I am putting together for our new you know, budget with a child, a plan to say, for vacations, because I don't want The last thing I want is to feel like I'm I'm I'm sacrificing opportunities for my child to enjoy life, like traveling and seeing the world, seeing this beautiful world. There is so much, there is so much, I believe me.
I just went you know and saw so much of you know, Portugal, and there's so much here in America that's still beautiful. Even though yes, the Amazon is dying like the the on the whole the world is thriving and you just have and there's so much to see, and I I don't want you to get caught in the negativity and and not be able to enjoy those moments for your children's sake too, because I know I was a child. You grew up in a very negative kind of environment, and look at me now, you don't
want to like very negative kind of pessimistic. Children really absorb the energy I think in the household too, so and they need to feel safe and they want to feel like their parents have a plan for them. So yeah, And I'm speaking to you as a non like, as a semi I'm not real parent yet. I'm just you are whatever. I'm just a slow cooker right now, I'm not. I'm a human instant pot But anyway, that's that's what
I would say. And you guys earn really good money, and I feel like setting aside some money for those trips would also help you with your own pessimism, because if you see all the good in the world, it will just help you counteract those negative headlines and see that there is so much more else going on.
Yeah, No, I like that, I mean, I think and honestly too, like we are so spoiled here. Like I remember the first time I went to Nigeria and I saw how little my cousins had comparison to what I had and how much I did about all this stuff, and I'm like, wait, the joy, the level of joy astounded me. I just remember being like, you, where's this happening is coming from? You know, because you know, to us, it's like, well, you don't have Jordan's, you don't have this,
you don't have that. And even I don't find my I don't consider myself to be super materialistic, and I still was like, wow, the level of joy had nothing to do with the level of material acquisition because they had, Like not that my cousins have nothing, but in comparison to what I had, you know. And I just remember thinking that, like, joy really does come from within and all these external things. You know, if you really work at it, they don't have to steal your joy. You
can choose. It's not easy, I mean, for there are some cultures that lean into it more than others, but they're doing it, which means that it's out there to have and so yeah, that you know, I just think that working on being grateful for day to day things.
I don't know if you keep a gratitude journal. I used to do this thing, which I should get back to it that every time something goold happened, I would write it on a scrap piece of paper and I put it in this little jar that I would keep on my desk, and like you know, like literally I would have stuff in my bag and at the end of the week, I would like dump it out and dump all the good things that happened in this jar.
And then January first, I would pull it out and read it and it would just be so amazing, like, oh, I remember Geral surprise me with ice cream that day, or oh that's the day Supergirl told me she loved me, And you know, there were like these small little things that made me realize what an amazing, wonderful joy field
year that I had. So maybe doing that with your family, like creating like a joy bucket where you're just putting making note of things, joyful little things that happen, and then reading through them together so you could really acknowledge, like you know, just how blessed you are.
Now, that's one thing that my therapist talk to me about is to counteract the negativity, to write out the positive thing. And that's why it's all about just flooding the negativity with the positive light that you see. And when you take that time, look at your children. I'm sure they're very adorable. I'm sure that they have so many moments of joy throughout the day that you can focus on instead all that. And I know it's hard work and I'm working on it too. But hopefully Amanda
from another Amanda who's a pessimist, are you me? I don't know me and my future. That'll that'll that'll help you just to try and shift your own mindset and take it. It sounds like you need a vacation, girl, go on a vacation asap. Yeah, get thee too, Yellowstone. Go all right, let's take one more question from Let's go to the gram. This question comes from mo Tips Underscore Fitness, who has a twenty two year old son who is acting like some twenty somethings do and being
a little irresponsible with his credit card. So here's mo tips question. So, my son maxed out his one credit card. It's the only thing he has as far as established credit So now his score is three hundred and eighty three. Oh my god. He has one hundred and nine percent utilization on this card. He owes five hundred and forty four dollars on it. He and my other son at the same time are about to submit their apartment application
next week and they'll be roommates. Against my advice, he didn't stick to staying within a thirty percent limit, and now he needs help paying off this credit card because when he applies for this apartment with his brother, they may get rejected. I told him to help pay off his credit card, I would give him a portion of my security deposit I'm going to get back from my current apartment after we move out, But I told him he needs to pay off his credit card with it.
He's been making monthly payments, but the minimum payment only. I'm wondering should I assist him and pay it down to thirty percent and just keep my security deposit, or should I keep my promise to him and wait for my security deposit and give it to him. Then I'm afraid that he won't learn the lesson, and I don't think he cares or understands about credit scores right now. Anyway from MO, tips.
MO, Mama, mom, MO his thing. Twenty two years old, it's still like he's still a baby when it comes to money. So what you do now is going to help to set the tone whether or not he's going to be sleeping on that couch when he's thirty years old. MO, get focus. MO. Do not bail this man out, because if you do, MO, He's going to keep coming back
to you. He's never going to learn the lesson. I would not give him that security deposit, and I would not bail him out because he's young, meaning that if he messes up his credit at twenty two, a little bit, he can rebound. It's not the end of the world. But if you bail him out, he will constantly think that mom's got a, Mom's got a, Mom's got it. So instead, you know, you can I mean, you have to walk him through the process of fixing this. That's
really what he needs right now. He needs someone to walk him through the process of fixing this. It needs to be made hard for him so he doesn't want to come back here again. One of the best things that my dad ever did for me was make it difficult to live at home, right like because it may may mean like I want to be more financially responsible because I want to get my own place. I want to be able to take care of myself. I want to be able to have good credit so I could
have got my apartment. And so when we make life life too easy for kids, they then they stay kids. And he's twenty two, so he's not, you know, he's just one pinky toe into like full adulthood, because twenty two is like around the time you just graduated college, maybe a year or so ago. Maybe if they get about grad school, maybe you're not you know, so yeah, that would be My suggestion is to walk him through the solution of this is why your credit scored the
way it is the way it is. You're not going to be able to get an apartment. Do you understand that you're not going to be able to get a car. I'm telling you he doesn't care about a credit score, but he does care about a car and an apartment. So relate it back to what he cares about, and to say, if you want to get an apartment in a car, I will help you to raise your credit score and to get out of this debt by showing
you how to do so. But if not, then you're not gonna be able to have any of those things.
Yeah, with a credit score that low, they might deny him lickety's flit for that apartment. I've never even seen a credit card, so that the congratulations, my friend, that is epic. But the good news is that it's only I mean, I'm saying only, but to him, it's probably a lot of money. It's five hundred dollars, and she says, he does, he does. He has just started a full a new full time job as a jewelry repair person, So it sounds like he's got a source of income.
Why instead of maybe his consequence that he needs is that he doesn't. He can't get a proof of this apartment, so he needs to live with you for a little longer. And with his first paycheck, pay off his credit card, you know, first paycheck or two, just pay off his credit card, get his credit score in shape. Once he pays out that card, it's going to jump, like Tiffany says, like Jordan, and he'll be in better shape. And then maybe that's the hard lesson he needs that Oh, because
I was careless with my credit card. Now I'm stuck living with mom for you know, two or three more months. But it's at the same time, be grateful because it's only it can only take you a few months to pay that off if you've got a full time job. Probably, And in that way you're helping him by providing him a roof over his head, but not actually paying off the card and making it too too easy for him.
Yeah, for sure, because I'm telling you like I get it, because you stay to yourself, it's five hundred dollars, I'll just do it. No, you'll be doing it over and over and over and over and over again. I've met a young woman who said that she ran up her cars. Her parents bailed her out, She ran them up again, her parents bailed her out, she ran them up again. They didn't have the money to bail her out because they had run out of money, and she felt so bad.
She figured out finally had to bail herself out, and she wished that they had never bailed her out in the beginning because now she feels the sense of guilt that she put them in a tough financial spot. So don't bail him out. Give him the tools to build his own shop.
Out and help him understand why he macks out his card in the first place, and how to avoid it in the future. Teaching moment, Yes, but thank you for your question. That's a good one. Oh Lord, how to raise a kid who's finished? I'm going to start all I'm going to have to reread all the articles on how to raise a kid who knows what they're doing with their money, because I just I just don't know how do I raise a kid who knows what they're doing.
When you're ready, just call Randy Alice. Okay, that's my father. You what you know, he raised fives.
But you're the one who's always like, they're shocked that I'm even successful because I was a hooligan.
I mean their shocked. I'm like, like, you know, cause I was not. I mean honestly, I wasn't even I was what I call Nigerian bad. Like I talked in class. It's still got good grades for a different bar for real, yes, exactly, Like there wasn't drugs and alcohol and like teenage sex. None of that was happening. Nigerian bad. Is is that a sea? And your teacher said that you were talking
to your friend in class? I was like here, so like yeah, no, no, when it came to finance, though, like no, we were always the only one that's probably not as responsible as Lisa. But she's the baby, and I'm if I'm gonna be all the honest. We raised her and we clearly, you know, little missteps here and there, but no, but my dad was really one of the things that he was really good at. And the lesson that I took away is that my father was really good at aligning what we cared about with what he
cared about. So it wasn't this is the water bill because kids don't care. It was that's why we didn't go to Disney World. Wait what Disney World. It wasn't this is the light bill. It was that's why we can't get ice cream from the ice cream man when he comes around. So I cared about ice cream, I cared about Disney. I cared about those things. And then he would say, those things either can happen or won't happen based upon the lights, the water, and everything else.
But do you see how all of a sudden I care about water, lights, all of these things because it led to the end goal of what I wanted. So if I could give like, well, like, the biggest takeaway of like being raised by financially responsible parents who raised financially responsible kids is aligning what your kid cares about with what you care about, because you're never going to get them to care about your water bill, your life and all those other things. And so he was really really good at that.
Sounds also like marriage and managing your finances with the partner. I'm seeing some overlap. Okay, all right, well, thank you guys so much for your questions. Again, we're brand Ambition Podcast on Instagram or you can hit us up at Brannambisson Podcast at gmail dot com.
Goca boo. Now it's time to boost a break with all our family. Will you boost? Will you break? What will it be? Mandy?
I know I just talked a big game about being, you know, recovering pessimist. But I need I need to then. I need to do a break today. Okay, I'll be optimistic next week, I promise. Maybe. So I'm gonna take a break from the complainers on your team at the office or wherever you work, whatever team you have, the people who have because everyone in your jobs you have challenges, right, you get projects thrown your way with a tight timeline.
You you know, you have a new person on your team who you know is posing some challenges, or someone you know quits and you've got to you know, fill their their role. Like there's always stuff that's going to happen when you're working for any job, you know, whether
it's for yourself or for a company. But what drives me crazy is people who cannot handle those challenges and get in this like complaint, Like they'd rather complain about what's in front of them then like just get the shit done and come up with a game plan to
like make it happen. It drives me nuts because I feel like sometimes problems only they just they can cause anxiety and they feel so much bigger than they are when you don't sit down and just write your to do list, like how do I solve this check check? You know, I can do these three things to make this problem better. I can do it today and this problem is solved, and hey, look at me. I'm a contributor to the team. And it's just and you know, whether they're on my team or on other teams, and
I have to work interact with them. They it's like when you see people who aren't doing your job well and you're just like, come on, man, it's not that hard. It drives me insane to no end. And it also just like brings down the mood of a team, and it brings down the mood of an office. And it doesn't have to be that way, you know. It's almost like, just tell yourself a different story about the challenges in front of you. I can do this, and here's how
I can do it. I'm gonna ask for these three things to help me accomplish this, and that actually will impress any managers to like and it makes me value to people on my team who are like that. They see problems in front of them and they come to me with, oh, I have this thing that happened, and oh I had this idea how we can fix it. Listen, I want to get these people like a hugging and kiss every day. That is how you really, That's how
you get raises, promotions. You impress people that way. That is the key to success as far as I'm concerned, And I just needed to let that be known.
No, I love that. You're right. It is hard when you're working with someone because you're like, oh my gosh, we already acknowledge this as a challenge, and you're not making it. You're making the challenge. It's literally like a rock around your neck. You're like, I'm trying to swim against the tide and now I've got this rock tie that's weighing us down. It's like, that's why everybody in college used to hate the group projects. You're like a group project.
Yeah, yeah, life is one of the group project though you know it is.
It is, and you're right that if you don't change the narrative, it's going to be a long life, a long, miserable life. And it's easy to go down that rabbit hole of like, oh my gosh, it's so hot, you know. But I've learned, you know, to embrace our challenges, like on our team, like you know that these can be fun things that we can overcome, and also setting the tone for the rest of the team. But it is hard,
you know, when you don't have a choice. And I don't know why some folks bring some I guess sometimes it's just it's just habit. Some people are e.
Or I think that they've been and I've been maybe I've been reading too many leadership books. Okay, I've been reading one leadership book lately, but this part I wanted to like get up out of my seat. I was listening to the audiobook on the train and just like clap because there's one part where she talks about rewarding exhaustion and rewarding hard like people who you know, show
how hard they're working. And I think this person who I'm thinking of now and people who I worked with before who are complainers, maybe in the past they were, they were they thought that that was their way of getting credit for all the work they're doing, is to complain about how hard everything is. I'm like, that's not how this that's not how I want to run my team. And it just it creates the wrong reward system, like don't reward you know, I kick people out of the
office if they're staying too late. When people tell me, oh, I'll do that on the weekend, I'm like, why I wouldn't do it on the weekend. Stop, you're not doing that on the weekend. And but at the same time, like if you when you sometimes you deal with people who come with their own like baggage from former jobs, and this is the way they've always operated, and you have to kind of like learn how to help them shift their own mentality around different challenges. But it's it's
not good if you're the complainer on the team. Change it now, Change it now, because you're slowly driving people nuts and they hate working with you. Just letting you know. Solutions, people, solutions, How are you gonna fix it? What you're gonna ask for?
I call it a paper towel person, Right, that's what you want to because I remember I said, like my dad used to be the one to be like you built milk. You know much milk costs. Milk is not cheap. And you're like looking like, uh, I'm fine, and my mom just feel milk. She just grips off a paper towel and gives it to you. And so before yeah, that you said. You never heard it before.
No, you never told me that. That's what he You actually tell me lots of stories over and over again. This is a new one. Never tell me the story from starting to finish.
It's so like, So that's what I remember because my dad and I have very similar personality. So I always used to tell myself when I was a kid, I don't want to be a paper towel person. Like someone when something happens that I'm not basically talking about, like how it's broken or the milk is spilled, whatever, I immediately go toward the solution. And that's how my mom is. She never I can't really remember her fussing when things
went wrong. It was always well, I'm going to call your teacher tomorrow and see what we can do, or here's a paper towel or or you know what I mean. Yeah, And so I just remember, because here's the thing about
the fussing. My dad will go through all of this rigamarole about the milk and how expensive milk is and how kids don't respect anything, and then at the end he will tell you to get a paper towel anyway, So I just remember thinking, why don't we just start with that, you know, And so like so I always said I'm going to be a paper towel person. So I like, yeah, I really try my best to be a paper towel person. So let's all try to be paper towel people.
Okay, people, fix your own damn problems if you want to succeed in the world. Oooh, anyway that I need to get off my chest and I had some tough conversations to have, I realized later on this week, But uh, all right, what's you gonna do? Boost to break?
I'm gonna booze. I wanted to boost because so a friend of mine, her name is Chris Bright, but her name is Chris miss on on Ig, and another young woman named Germany but they call her snap a lore Like is that he say her name a lord? Anyway, they launched something called Black Girl Beach Day, and I believe this is either the third or the fourth year. I think it's the third year. I went last year. When I tell you, amazing, Mandy, over a thousand women
signed up for it. It was like the tickets for like twenty bucks or whatever. I couldn't go this year because it was on my mom's birthday and Drina's wedding shower day. But it looked amazing. Last year was amazing. But it looked amazing. I mean, there's double Dutch, yoga, arts and craft the beach. It's just it's just she just wanted to create a safe environment for black girls and women to come together to just go to the beach and enjoy themselves. And I just I'm just so proud of her.
It looks incredible. If you're on Instagram, Black Girl Beach Day literally just exactly how it's spelt. You can follow them on there. You get see like the video and the pictures. It just what I tell you, a good time. And you know what I really love about it is that, like you know, as black women and brown women, sometimes
we're self conscious about our bodies. And I just remember I grew up in Westfield largely, and I remember like I would go to the pool and like all my white friends, when I would go to the pool with them, they would wear their baby suits. And then I would go to the pool my black friends, and they would always wear a T shirt over their baby suits. And I just remember being thinking that was so strange, like why do all my little black girlfriends, why did they
cover their bodies? You know? And I just you know, and I just didn't like that. And I just remember thinking why, I mean, you know, like black bodies or it's just why is there this this thing that up? And when I love about Black Girl Beach, they're no T shirts, like your body is beautiful however you show up, and it's just such a celebration of femininity, womanhood, masculinity. However you come, however you show up, you are appreciated, loved on. It's just such an amazing day. I mean
they do everything, all black things. You can think of, electric.
Slide, all black things.
Like I said this double they were stepping. I mean it was just and like, yeah, if you got a black girl beach say, you see every type of body shape size. It's just when I tell you, it's just a wondrous day. And if you get a chance at ten next year, hopefully it will fit in my schedule next year. If you get a chance at ten next year, I highly recommend it. It's just a love fest for
black and brown women in particular. They don't turn anyone away, but it's certainly a love fest for black and brown women. And yeah, Black Girl Beach Day, look for them on ig.
Just follow them, love it right.
Just stout out to Christmas and Germany because I can't imagine. I mean they even they even charted buses to bring people down for those people didn't didn't have checks.
It in Jersey, in Jersey, okay, Jersey. Sure, I'm going to start a beach day for wives whose husbands don't like the beach because I have. You know, they say accept the spouse that you buried. I knew that my husband did not like the beach when I married him. He's a Dominican who does not like the beach. I know, like, apparently there's more of them than just him, and I
just need to accept it, because you just need. I just need to find people who find enjoying the beach like me and just go to the beach with them. You know what I mean, anyone else out there with husbands who don't like the beach free of water.
I'm trying to say, like it's a superman. I mean, he doesn't just like the beach, but the beach is not like his paved But we'll go loose once.
I need some people who enjoy the beach like me, man, because I just can't keep I'm just like freely. We haven't been to the beach all summer. He's like I told you who I was. Yeah, that's amazing though, I love it. Oh that's so cute. I want to Maybe I'll go next year.
Yeah, like I said, black gir they awesometimes awesometimes, So guys, now it's time to say goodbye to everyone. We will see you next week. Tell a friend, Tell a friend, Tell a friend. Summertime is just about over, so you guys should be back on your regularly scheduled listening program. If you have not invited someone to listen to Brown Ambition, what are you doing, You're being selfish. Yeah, invite a friend listen in so you guys can giggle together. Message us.
I am the budget Nest on all things social. Mandy you're basically Mandy Money on all things social.
Right Mandy Money on Instagram or you can find me Mandy Woodruff on other social media platforms. And we are Brown Ambition Podcasts on the gram. We're on Facebook. Just google Brown Ambition. You can't miss us.
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