Ep. 14 — Gifted hands, foolish mind

I legit just unzipped my skirt because it was getting more tight.

One of those things and a skirt.

I was like, let me try this skirt on. It said okay. But then like you go through the day and your body like expands.

I feel like, anyway, maybe that's too real for our audience to hear about.

Okay, let's go.

Hey, hey, hey, and we're back Episode fourteen of Brown Ambition.

Welcome back, everybody.

Yes, we're back, back back with a heart attack.

Thanksgiving week. I know, what are you doing?

I have mixed emotions. Well, I'm gonna my sister.

She just had a baby, so she's having it Thanksgiving at her house for the first time, so excited about that Superman will be coming.

And because she has nothing else to do besides like nothing, she has so much free time to like be able to you know, serve Thanksgiving dinner, plus a newborn, she.

Thinks she's just like, I'm not trying to take the baby out the house. Come to the house.

Oh that's that's true.

Yeah, I'm excited about that. Yeah.

I mean I always been with like my immediate family, like my parents and my sisters. So that's Thanksgiving usually and it's always really nice and then I'll like friend hop later.

Do you guys do like a traditional Thanksgiving dinner? Do you have Nigerian food? How does that work?

A mix?

You know, it's all crazy because being a Nigerian is so a part of me that I'm like, I'm like, no, it's tonly traditional. Then I'm like, do you even know what traditional loans about? So I'm like, y'all don't eat a goosey soup. I'm like, well, I'm pretty sure to make something like we have a turkey, and of course we have we have African food and traditional American food as well.

That sounds good.

It is.

I love African food, not that it's all the same, but what I've had I've enjoyed.

Yeah, we're doing.

I decided to host like a friends giving because this is well I have. I've been a home for Thanksgiving in like six years, I realized, And lately we've been going to my Booze family's house, but they don't eat till super late. They're Dominican. I guess that's like a thing. It's like comme at seven, we'll eat at eleven kind of thing. And I'm just really used to my mom's family's Thanksgiving and comm at two and you eat for the next like seven hours, and you like sit and

And that's what If it all.

Goes to hell, we will just be consuming cocktails Thanksgiving.

And so let's jump into buzzworthy. Okay, there's some fun stuff this week.

Did you see the new So everyone went crazy with the new Apple commercial with Taraji, Carrie and Mary J.

Blige. But did you see the new one?

Yeah?

Did you hear that Oprah was supposed to be a part of the commercial last minute? She was like, actually, no, that's what I read. I mean, who knows if it's true, but that was the word on the street. I just it seems weird.

I'm like, I can't see Oprah hanging out with that.

That's what I was just about to say.

Like, whenever Oprah tries to pretend like she's like tequila, I don't.

Buy it, Like dah, you know, you having like a chai tea. You're not sitting bacula, you.

Know, picking on Unicorn's tears.

I feel like she's too grown.

Like not that they're not grown either, but like I don't buy the girlfriend vibe from Oprah.

You know, no, I do, but just not with them.

Maybe not.

I barely buy the girlfriend vibe with them.

With Carrie Washington, I'm like, I don't know Carrie Gina when she was well, you know what when she said that because in the video they're listening to like salsa music or she turns it on because she's like, who asked her?

What makes you feel sexy? Which by the way, I've never asked my girlfriend that ever. It's on a natural question and she's like, m you.

Know when you in the Bronx.

Iber turned on the Mark Anthony and so I was like, she from the I knew she went to like a prep school. So I googled her real quick and she actually did grow up in the Bronx, So she has that.

Yeah, because even the way, I was like, I'm not I'm not believing it, but okay, like Mary at Taraji, clearly they read realistic homegirl, Hey, what's up? You know, but Carrie, And not to say she's not she doesn't seem like a nice woman, but I felt like it was slightly the homegirl vibe was slightly forced.

I did read somewhere that the.

I don't know CEO CFO whomever said that you know, girls are not girls are better at picking out guys.

Oh yeah, you're thinking about Johnny Ivine or whatever earth He owns Apple Music. He's like a famous producer, and he said that the quote was something like women don't know how to find music.

Exactly, and I was like, oh, okay, so before this whole Apple whatever thing you're pushing, I guess women just listen to dead air sank when it.

Went like, oh my god, like, where is the music? I just can't find that. The radio is so hard. I think he just put his foot in his mouth. You know, he probably came out and apologize even since then, but.

I just thought that was funny.

I was just like, well, people say stuff like that and they're not whatever it is talking about. I'm like, oh, because in your expert, non woman opinion.

It's the same thing.

You know.

I went to this this past week. It was Women Entrepreneurship Day, and I had the opportunity to go to the United Nations and sit in for the whole day long event at different panels, and all these amazing women entrepreneurs got up and gave speeches and stuff. And I met a guy there who was from this huge investment firm, Massive, and we were talking about, you know, introducing ourselves, talking

Yeah.

And the truth of the matter is, I mean, honestly, with what I do with the budgetista, women asking or wanting to invest is the number one request outside of like savings and like a little bit of credit stuff. But almost every woman it's like, so I really want to invest. It's not even a matter of like, oh, I'm afraid.

Of the market.

It's just you know, like you said, there's this lack of to mere a lack of knowledge. It's because there's a lack of pointed education in this direction, and.

Women are quicker to women are quicker to admit that they have a lack of knowledge yep, and to ask those questions. And also I was telling him, I was like, why focus why put on the focus on finding women and trying to figure out how to teach your mostly male advisors, because let's not get it twisted, like financial advisors as an industry. Financial advisory firms as an industry are crazy, crazily skewed toward men as advisors and like

Yep, it's like.

Advisors, like you ever see those commercials and it's so clear that there was not a brown face around the table, and they're like, the commercial will open up with Jamal and he's.

Like yo, yo, yo, what up? Yo?

Have a cod man? And you're like, who in the world.

You're like, clearly there was no Jamal present at the table when you guys were deciding about this commercial, like the song that they chosen, it's so clear that you're like, what, nobody even listens to music like that anymore? Just like when you said Carrie was like what makes you feel sexy? Like women don't talk like that? Was there no woman writer available to help you with that line.

Well, Apa di Verne supposedly directed, and I love her, but that was an awkward little line.

Yeah. I know.

Sometimes I just think to myself that, like, you're right, instead of trying to get people to figure out, well, how do we reach that audience, why don't you find that audience to reach that audience?

Yeah, I mean that's where we are. Don't expect us to come to your level or wherever you want.

Us to be.

Well, speaking of Carrie, and I'm going to segue into like the shondaland Shonda rhymes. First of all, Shanna Rhymes. His new book is out Year of Yes, and I have it. I can't wait to read it. But I wanted to talk about Carrie Washington and scandalous past week.

Do you watch Scandal?

Yeah? On occasion, so I don't want to.

This is a This is a huge spoiler.

So if you are listening and you haven't watched this latest episode of Scandal, please fast forward on the podcast a couple of minutes because I have to talk about this scene in the latest episode.

Do you mind, Tiffany if I spoil it for you?

Yeah?

No, that's fine, And I don't watch it like that.

So I stopped watching.

Honestly, I haven't watched the past five episodes because I'm so sick of the whole like love triangle, in the back and forth. I get exhausted by it between her and the president fits. But I saw a couple of headlines that got me to catch up and watch the latest episode, which involved from what I read, I knew it was gonna involve an abortion scene. I saw a scandal,

Have the abortion. I thought it was really powerful. She did the exact opposite.

This time with Scandal, So Carrie, like, the entire episode goes by and nothing's happening. I'm like, where's the abortion at She's not even pregnant. No one even knows she's pregnant, Like, when's it gonna happen. Well, it turns out like three quarters of the way through, all you see is Olivia just in a doctor's office and the doctor's like, you can come back now. And as the song Silent Night and Ave Maria is playing, you see her going through

It's like very powerful in her career. I thought it was.

I thought it was a really interesting way of approaching the subject and being true to the character of who she is.

Is she did she tell Fits that she was pregnant.

No, it happens. I'm not even kidding.

Like the whole episode, it kind of foreshadows it because in the beginning, one of the senators is filibustering, where you stand up there for six you know, stand up there for hours, and you talk until the clock runs out on the voting for a bill to get the bill from being passed. And this particular bill was going to defund planned parented, which is very like of today's you know this almost happened or this you know almost

And then three quarters the.

Way through, like it just flips to Olivia going to the doctor. I mean, it's not playing parenthood and getting the abortion, and she doesn't tell Fits, and there's I mean, who knows what's going to happen next?

Episode, and that was the only like.

I am, I'm clearly pro choice. I know women who've had abortions, and I know women who have I think it's important to show an abortion story that's not just someone who's been raped or someone who's poor, or someone's who's like thirteen years old, and like, you show a real woman who's like established, has a career on paper, has every reason to like be able to bring a child into the world, and yet makes the decision not to.

Okay if you follow, if you take these boxes.

You know, yeah, I said, you mean, so I really.

Appreciate Shanda for doing that, and I mean, it'll be all kinds of crazy controversy about it, but and you know, I think my only you.

Know, I'm not even gonna judge. You know, I have my own thoughts about it.

But honestly, if you've never been in that position before where you're you know, you're just deciding to have an abortion, you can't I can't even judge.

She's a fake character.

She's not real, but I can't judge Olivia for the way she did it because it is like her choice.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean I feel what you're saying about, like the way certain things are portrayed, like, oh, this is the only way that you can make that choice. And I haven't been placed in that choice. I mean I've known friends who have been and you know, and I'm trying.

To think of that. I know, any friend that kind of just chose, oh, I don't really want to have kids.

Maybe so, but they probably haven't told because you're right, that's considered like why would you make that choice.

You're supposed to only make it under duress, basically, you.

Know, so hard for people to understand.

Yeah, yeah, And you know, there's studies that show that most women who have not most, but like a good proportion of women who have abortions have already had kids and they're older and they're like, I just don't want it anymore. Yeah, And I'm like, what's wrong with that? So I just love I just feel like like Grey's Anatomy is still so relevant. I know it's been around for one hundred million years, but Shanna Rhimes is still working it. That

Now I am kind of sick of that. You know, it's very novel TV novella. You're like, all right, it's a little bit wild. I used to Actually what I liked about Scandal, like, of course, you know, we all kind of like the love Triangle at first, But what I liked was like, you know, the individual cases, like ooh, how she gonna solve this one?

I enjoyed those.

They finally get back to that.

Yeah, I'm like, please bring that back, you know.

To me, the love Triangle is supposed to be like a background to the actual like almost like what is it?

Like? Uh?

Those like cop shows that every.

Like there's literally like a thousand spin offs of this one cop show, the New York New York Undercover.

What did they say? No, not Law and Order?

You know, like how the reason one of the reasons why it's so successful.

Is that each show it's like a brand new breadth of air.

You know, right, And so like I'm kind of I kind of like that about Shonda's show that it was like, oh, okay, it's a brand new show. Yes, there's some remnants of the old show with his love triangle, but basically we're solving this issue.

Yeah, I think you can skip the last four episodes, just watch this latest one and then start again, because oh, I was like, come on, I just see fits in his little whip whip quivering and like him just crying about his lady's trip. Like can you imagine Obama sitting around and like calling his girlfriend like he doesn't have time or that. I just cannot imagine Obama with time for like this crazy love triangle.

Yeah, yeah, exactly, it's just crazy.

Well thanks, Shonda, You're the best. You're the best, You the best girl.

You got it.

So brown break, Brown break, Brown break.

What you're gonna do, what you're gonna do when we break for you? So first I gotta find it.

So I have this Facebook group online called like Dreamcatchers. It's just basically like all my my whole tribe basically for the budgetizza, like people who are like wanting to get on financial tracks, mostly women, mostly Brown girls, and it's pretty dope it excepts so they have been like addicted to this thing called the money mantra.

Have you heard of the money money mantra Mandy.

No, oh, that was like an that was like a tongue twister money mantra Mandy. So anyway, the money mantra, I'm gonna try to find it. And it's so funny because I always forget, like how I want money Mandy in my computer. It's funny because I forget sometimes that my world's combined. And so someone in the group, because I had talked about the money mantra, how I'm kind of sick of it, and someone in the group was like, uh, you should totally make the money matcha your brown break.

I was like, what you know about the brom But like, what is it though?

So it's this mantra that you Basically it says I, I'm a money magnet. I attract money and money attracts me. So it's just basically like, you know, a positive affirmation.

It's a secret.

Yeah.

So, which there's nothing wrong with that except the women. At first, I call them the dream catchers. At first, the dreamcatchers in the group would use it and say, oh, I said the money mantra today just to get myself going and pumped up great. And then it became like the secret witch spell. It was like people would say, I said the money mantra and a check came in the mail, and then that's really what they would say,

I get it. The money mantra is just one of the tools you can use to kind of get yourself pumped up. But if I was.

Brand new and had never done any other financial work, I might come to the group and think, oh, the only way or want, like the main way to change my financial you know, future, is just to make this chance and say this chance and then it'll magically happen.

And so that's my brown break. I'm breaking from that Daga money mantra. That's gonna use it.

It's like showing the mass, you.

Know exactly, and there's nothing wrong with mantras, and I was telling the women that, I said, you know, I love a good mantra. You know, sometimes the mantras just quick, like you could do it, you could do what you got it. Or sometimes it's more. I used to do this mantra in the mirror. I used to do mirror work.

Have to do is this one basically easy thing.

And then your life will be changed, especially like if you got to check in the mail, admit that you went to this website, because there's this website where you can go do that that if you have lost or lost money, I forget the website name, Like you might have had a bank account ten years ago. You forgot and you have money there. Or there's a check waiting for you someplace, and so you can put your name in. So a lot of them women were putting your name

Is no easy. It wasn't.

It took you years to get into financial trouble. It's going to take you some time to get out of it. And a mantra is one of the tools that you're disposable disposal, but certainly not the only tool for the dreamcatchers listening. I'm talking to you because I love it. It sparked like a nice little debate, and I don't mind a lot of it. I don't mind the debate as long.

As people are respectful.

You know.

Don't see one more inspirational quote my Instagram feed.

I now like another one, Jesus that just show me what you have for dinner or come on.

Instagram preacher like you know what, the sky open and floods came, and that means you're blessing his coup And you're like, all right, girl, but you know, you got to read a book every once in a while.

Too, And it's funny, like I was really into the Secret when I was in college. I remember watching I'll never forget watching that episode of Oprah, and I don't even know if I can't. I will never be as innocent and impressionable as I was during the height of the Oprah craze, because everything she did, I would do everything. I ate the yogurt, she ate, read the books she read. I was just like, Oprah is God, and God is Oprah. So when she had the Secret author on, I got

The flowers it was, And I mean I get that.

I think what the secret kind of teaches you is you have to put something out and then you will receive.

But people forget that first step.

Because I believe in karmic energy. I believe that you can draw things to you, but I don't I don't believe that only karmic energy is the only way, meaning that like you know, I like, for example, I remember I put it. I have a vision board. You know, that's that's karmic energy. You put it out there.

That's the secret as well. You put it, you.

Know, you put your vision or the things that you want on your vision board. And I remember when I was twenty six, I had said I want to go to Greece. So I put it on my vision board, and then every year it didn't happen, and I would take down the picture and put it on the next year's vision board every year until about three years ago. So basically for like seven years I was saying I want to go to Greece.

I want to go to Greece.

And then about three years ago I finally was like maybe it was even last year. I was like, so tivity, if you want to go to Greece, you might want a book a flight, And then I did, and then I ended up going to Greece and Turkey for my birthday that year. What happened, I know, And I was just like, cause I you' like, what are you waiting for? You waiting for Greece to like come to your doorstep and say, hey girl, let's go like book a flight.

The universe does not take any major credit.

Cards exactly, so like a mix of those things. It's like, there's definitely been things that have happened in my life that I'm like, wow, where did that come from? But the vast majority I had.

To put some work for it.

And if you're listening now and you miss last week's episode, we had on Patrise Williams see Williams and that's her last name, right, Washington. Oh my god, I like that doesn't sound right in my head. Patrese Washington, love you, Patrees. And we talked about something similar yeah with her, and she had a really she had some really good thoughts on that. So definitely go download episode thirteen if you haven't yet with for our amazing interview with Patrese.

Yeah, she's dope.

My brown break I have to take things a little bit serious, because it's just like it's one of those times, just like you like, a little tiny bit of things just keep adding up. And we all know that there is a refugee crisis happening, especially in Syria right now. Syrians are fleeing a civil war where chemical acid warfare has been used on them. Children have been dying, people have been displaced. It's all at war. We're there, so obviously they want to flee, and they're fleeing to Europe.

In the wake of what.

Happened in Paris, people have been using that as a peg to try and legislators have been trying to get this a bill passed that would make it exponentially harder for Syrian refugees to get into the United States at this time. President Obama has promised to admit ten thousand refugees to the US next year.

And so there's this.

Bill out in Congress I think in the House right now, and they're ready to they're setting to vote on it, I think either this week or next week, and it would make it would make all sorts of checks and balances, and it's completely unnecessary.

It already takes.

Two years, two years for Syrians or any refugees, I think, especially from Syria to get approved to come to United States. Like there already are stringent regulations and checks and balances in place. And the fact that people are just sort of like tapping into this fear that people have in light of the Paris to get people to like enact this legislation that would deny, you know, refugees the right to seek refuge in America. It just gets under my skin.

And I'm like, what is he even?

Honestly, Ben Carson, honestly, he's like my greatest disappointment because I'm like, man gifted hands, could you shut the help for real?

Gift in hand? Foolish mind?

Your right exactly put your hands over your mouth, show me that gift, because I'm just like so disappointed at this man who just raised himself from like like you know, poverty and impossible dreams to become this like brilliant surgeon. And this is what this is your legacy that you're leaving. You know, I'm just like, Wow, you just decided, you know what everybody.

Thinks, I'm amazing. Let me just go ahead and mess that up.

He's done.

He's I mean, like I wanted to, you know, I was trying to explain to my dad this week and my dad and I, so I went to Atlanta to visit my dad before the Thanksgiving holiday, and he and I like to go for walks together, and we started talking about the refugee crisis. And my dad pays attention to the news. I mean, he wasn't he's not college educated, but he pays attention to the news and he's smart. And even he was like, but they can get in so easily, you know, they can just come across and

And I just think that's that's terrible.

Yeah, some do you just look at this world and you're like, ah.

But you know, when I was in Georgia, and I'm not gonna lie, Georgia is not the most I mean, Georgia has some closed minded people. Now Atlanta is a different story because it's a big city. But I was riding through the city with my whoa with my dad and I passed by this church and the sign North Decatur United Methodist Church anybody from Decata. Hey, the sign of the church says refugees are welcome here worship Sundays

I'll post it in our Facebook group and our Facebook page.

I did.

I put it on Instagram. I'm gonna put it up there. I thought that was really nice. It kind of wore my little heart. So as long as there's some people out there who aren't disclosed minded, I think will be okay, but I'm taking it. I guess my official Brown break is on the lie surrounding what it.

Takes for Snarian refugees to get into the United States.

Well, for our tips today, I wanted to We got a couple of really good read your emails, so we're gonna try and answer one per episode. And if you want to send us a question about anything, your finances, your career, your leve la, we'll try and answer it on the air. You can email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot dot com.

I got the last part.

Good yeah, Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. Send us your question. You can be anonymous, but most people have been giving us their first name, which has been nice.

Helps us.

You know, I feel like we're talking to a real person. So today's question, I'll read it real quick. It comes from Taran. Thanks miss Arran for listening. She says, I am thirty six, I'm single, and I have no children. And Taren has a question about her four oh one k situation. She says, I'm currently working full time in the nonprofit world, but she has dreams of becoming a

What should I do?

I say that she it's it's never wise to have too many of these, like retirement accounts with the actual company that you used to be before, because it's easy to lose track, and so it's best to do what's called a rollover. Not you don't you go and take the money out, because you're going to be hit with all kinds of fees and taxes and stuff and you'll lose some money.

But to go to whatever bank that you use, or if you.

Have some sort of outside ira or roth ira at a bank, ask them to roll it over for you, so that way you can have all of those accounts at one place, and then you could still have your current retirement account at your current company.

So doing yeah, that'stuff.

The first part you got to do is go find those old accounts because even if you go through so you're about to start a new job, even if you've set up a four to one K through your new job, they won't be able to tell you where your old accounts are. So you have to go down the list of your employers, try and go on LinkedIn if it's that many, and try and make.

A little list.

Go to all your old employers, ask them to tell you where your account's being held, go through the steps trying to figure out where it is, and then you go through that account holder and set up a it's called a plan to plan rollover basically, so you'll ask them to just transfer the cash in your in that four to one K account to your new one. Her other question, though, is since I switch jobs every one and a half years or so, does it make any sense to open up a new four to one K at my new job?

Which is a really good question. It is I feel like if if your new.

Job opers match.

Ye, yes, absolutely, do not turn down that free money. If they don't match, you might just want to open up your own individual retirement account and IRA. You can do that through Vanguard Fidelity. Charles schwas for a low cost. You know, you might need like five hundred two one thousand dollars to open up one initially, and then you'll have your own little pot of money and you can still get all your old four oh one ks rolled over into that new IRA.

Yeah, agreed that, like, yeah, if they're not matching and you're feeling like you're going to jump around again, then yeah, then do that.

But if like, let's just say they a lot of companies.

Will match after like six months, so you definitely want to get that money.

It doesn't make sense.

So for those of you who are like what's matching, because when I was like twenty something, I would have totally been like, what's that mean?

And that just means that when you're with a company.

So when I used to work for a nonprofit, they had a four to oh three B which is basically like a four to one pai K for nonprofits, and that was my retirement account. And then after like six months, I was like vested, which just basically means they were like, okay, you're here, so the money.

You put in, we will match up to six percent.

That meant, if I put one percent of my income into my retirement account, they put one percent. If I put three, they put three. If I put six, they put six. If I put seven, they still put six because that was their max.

So if your company.

Is going to put a percentage in, then at the very least put up to what they're gonna put in. So six plus six equals twelve percent of your income going into your retirement account.

That's what we mean by matching.

It's a beautiful thing.

My very first big girl job in New York that I did not realize until I was almost leaving.

I was there for two years. They matched one hundred percent.

No, baby Jesus, it was so hard, but you know, and it wasn't until I got this job being a personal finance reporter where I finally learned all that, and I was like, damn it, but I was so I mean, honestly, I was making such little money I probably wouldn't even I barely was making rent, so I don't know if I would have contributed that much, but it was a

Automatic is the best.

It is, Like, let me tell you so I automatic. Let me back up a little bit. So I've been writing personal finance for like almost five years now. Every time I see a headline that's like the seven pieces of advice millionaires always give, like the seven things millionaires do to earn their money, or the one piece of advice Warren Buffett has, Like every single time I know exactly what I'm going to see, it's going to say save and automate it.

Yes, because it works. Okay, because it works.

So definitely you want to, Yeah, think about opening your own IRA. Tarn And then her last question, well, she has a couple more. She has a lot of questions packed into one. She wants to know how much should I be contributing? So when you're automating your savings, I mean the general rule of thumb is ten percent. Okay, if your employer is going to match five percent, then you only have to put in five percent. It'd be great if you can put in ten, but again, you

I would say that ten well, and you know why too, especially for women, ten percent.

Is really like the rule of thumb.

I feel like for men, but we live longer, So I would say for women, like I think twelve where you're doing now is great. That twelve percent is, I mean, because why not have more.

For your older self, you know?

You know. So I actually set aside twenty percent because I'm self employed, so I don't have the benefit of like, you know, having you know, a four to one k anymore or four or three b And so I set aside a larger percentage because I don't know, I'm just like, I'm self employed, so I want to make sure that I'm super covered, you know, because I'm not. I'm not contributing to my social security like like I was before I'm like, am I contributing to my Social Security?

I don't know, that's a question for my account.

But do you have it? So you have an IRA setup?

I do I have?

So the thing is I do twenty percent, but I do ten percent of it is strictly retirement and ten percent of it is investing for wealth.

So that's how Yeah, So that's how I split mind that.

It's like, oh, okay, so James, who's my who's my financial advisor? We're actually going to sit down and talk in a few weeks because I'm like, James, I'm coming into some money the budget he says.

Kicking button, taking names.

So I just love James because I could talk to him like that, and I was like, so what should I do? He's like, come see me so we can like re you know, reorganize, like where your money is going.

So and it's hard to answer that question for a person we don't know either. I don't know your entire financial history. So I would say, you know, if you feel like ten percent is too much, what you can do is just start with like start with six Let's say start with five six percent that's a little bit of money, and then some four wing k plans and even iras out there will do a thing where every year it not just ratches it up by one percentage point. So next year I'll go to seven. The year iflet

Working my way up.

That's how I did too.

I think I started off at like five percent. It's like every year I would bump and bump, and now I'm at twenty and I think that I'll probably cap myself.

At twenty or I might not. I might do.

I feel like if you if I'm making way more, because I'm pretty simply. If I all of a sudden make a million dollars next year, hand to God, praise him.

No, if I'm making it.

If I make a million dollars next year, then I likely do even more because I won't be needing a million to live off of. And no, I don't give out loans, so don't even try a bah so, folks, because some of y'all hit me behind the scenes.

Now I'm just joking any other girl, No, I'm just joking.

Thank God.

I'm like no, because honestly, the answer is no.

And automating automative is just think of it as. You know, my little brother I just talked to him about saving. He just started his first job. He's making really good money and he's feeling kind of in some way about himself and he's like, oh, you know, I don't really want to save. I want to enjoy my money. And when he said that, I was like, but saving is not taking. You're not giving your money to someone else. You're literally paying yourself. Like that's what you should think

I'm like, yes, it is exactly. It's actually still there.

Because people too when it comes to retirement. It's because they cannot connect with their older self.

So that's why I named my older self.

I named her Wanda, and I encourage you to name your older self tern you know, maybe her name is Teresa. I don't know, but I always think to myself like, Ooh, do I really want Wanda eating cat food? Or do I really want Wanda like, you know, struggling because you have to think about it. Imagine if you live with your grandma and it's between you and grandma has to go to work to like pay these bills.

You would never say you're well, you.

Never know, but most people who would never send their grandma out like grandma, you better go to work, girl. These bills are not gonna pay themselves. You would not do that, But we do that with our older selves. We do less now, and then what do you think's gonna happen when we get to be older.

We're gonna have to put in work because of.

The flacking we kind of did when we were younger. Really, it's your younger self's job to take care of your older self. So try to think of your older self like your own grandma, and you know, treat her kindly, don't make her work instead.

You work now because you're younger.

And Tara in your thirty six, you have another fifty years probably mm hmm, you know, if you're to live to the average age for women, which is like I think, what.

Eighty six, something like that, eighty five.

Anyway, it's a couple of years older than then a few years actually, so we have, like Tiffany said, you have much longer to be saving four And don't think that you're ever too young to start saving, you know, And don't think that I'll all just start saving next year when I'm rich.

Now, exactly the saving is what.

Gets you rich, you know, exactly, save now.

So if she had a quick technical question, which was roth four one k or traditional four to one K, and I don't want to get too much into the weeds about this, but it and you can do all, she says herself. I've done the googles, and I feel like I have a pretty good idea about the difference. So you can easily google this. I've written a ton of stuff. Just google Mandy Wood driff Roth four one K.

So's it.

Why would you sign up for a ROTH versus traditional? So if you were younger, and you think you're probably if you're younger now, you know you're probably early in your career, you're probably going to be earning less.

Now than you will later exactly.

So if you put money in a ROTH, you'll pay a lower tax bracket today than you would if you paid taxes later, when you retire, you'll probably be earning more. So for that reason, it pretty much makes sense to go with the ROTH.

But again, it's really hard to give detailed personal advice.

No, we don't know, so, like Tiffany has James, I have used a financial planner before. Through a service called learn invest, you can go out there and find like find someone a financial planner to sit down with you, like one on one if you want to like a fee only planner, and they'll just charge you for like the hour, or just charge you for the plan. And they're not going to like attach their salary to whatever gains you make on your accounts. They're not going to

Yeah, they have NAPPA.

They have a whole database of people who are fee only planners and you can put in your zip code and then you go and find them in your area. I mean, it's kind of like trying to find a good guy. Now. Yeah, all you gotta like interview them, and you do feel comfortable.

You want to make sure that these people are looking after you. And it's not just like I chose James because I had been looking for two years and I was looking for someone who was passionate about investing the way I was about budgeting and saving stuff like that, you know. And what I loved about James is that he was like he he could talk about investing all day it's the point where I was like, James, I

Because he loved it. You could tell that he loved it.

And it took me a long time to find someone who was loving it like that, because you know, I just wanted to make sure someone was going to do right by me because it was just in them to do that way.

So even like all of.

My financial like I have a money team, my accountain, Carlos, same way, Carlos is like he loves some taxes. I'm like, Carlos, nobody cares, but Carlos is like and then and so my bookkeeper same way. She's awesome. She's like, Timmy, you're spending this and you're doing that, and here's the trends. And so if you're looking to build your money team, your your financial advisor, your accountant, your bookkeeper, all of these people, you want to make sure that they they

And you know, but that might not be.

Something for you that's important. You might be looking for something else. But build a money team and start early.

M it's like the new squad squad. Make this your squad goals. Yeah, pretty models are cool, but they are not going to do your taxes.

For you exactly or help you figure out how to buy a house. So, Terran, I hope that helped answer your bazillion questions. You're sneaky, like six quotions in this one, and you ba.

Folks, don't try to be like Tarran, like I'm a sneaking now. First question, So we let Terrence skate with that one.

She had an extra one. I totally forgot. It's so many.

She said she's trying to buy a home and trying to go back to school, and I don't know if I can really afford to reduce my income. Well not if you're planning on buying a home or going back to school.

Actually, I have this, said you get a chance, Terrent. I have this checklist. So I bought a home when I was twenty five, and it was a big mistake. You ever see pretty women, huge mistake, and there was a there. I created a checklist if I wish what

Oh, I'm going to put that in the on the blog post on this so you're listening now. This is We'll put the link to Tiffany's blog post on mortgage mistakes or buying a house mistakes. Yeah, so you can click there. All I do was when when no matter what we know, me on my mind and I really, what has it going?

I'm like, you know what, it's terrible because I'm just like wait and.

Letting him go up right, I said, really, older, right now? What are you here listening to?

Oh?

So my win from the week. It's a blash from the past.

We all get hit up every once in a while, but by somebody we used to date before, and it's not.

Always pleasant, but mine actually was.

So my ex boyfriend hit me up just on Facebook to say, Hey, Tiffany, you know I heard your podcast.

I'm so proud of you. I'm sure you heard this before. And it's just so crazy because one of the reasons why we broke up is because.

He wanted a more traditional type of girl, like I broke up with him, but he wanted a more traditional like at the time, I was a preschool teacher, and it was very comfortable to have a preschool teacher girlfriend slash you know, potential wife.

Like you go to work in the morning, you're done.

By three, you cook, you clean. I did all that kind of stuff, but something in me wanted to do more. And I didn't know what more was, but I knew I wanted to do it. So I was trying out all these different things, Like I would come home and cook, but instead of hanging out and like watching TV with.

Him like I normally would, I would, you know, be on.

The computer or taking a class or trying to figure out what this feeling was inside of me of the more that I wanted to go after, and he came to kind of resent it. He would never say, don't do it, but it was like, you know, when you're with someone for a long time, we were together for like five or six years. You could feel it when they're like, oh, here she goes again, you know, yeah, And so after a while, I was just like, I felt like I was holding myself back so he could be okay.

And I was twenty six at the time, and I was just like, yeah, I don't want to live like this.

Like because I thought to myself at twenty six, Tippany, if your life is going to be like this at thirty six, will you be happy?

And I said no.

Even though he was sweet, he was kind, he was loyal, he was faithful, all of these great things. But I knew that I would not be happy holding myself back for the rest of my life.

And so we broke up. It was not an easy breakup. He didn't take it that well.

And at one point I was really struggling, really struggling after we broke up, like financially and every way. I lost my job, I'd lost everything, and I remember, I guess in a fit of anger, he like hit me up one day and was like, oh, so you left me because you thought you were going to have a better life, but basically look at you now.

Oh, I breakup so ugly I know he brings out the nesty and everybody.

I s, I clutched my pearls. I said, okay, thanks.

You know, I was already feeling low, but thank you for pushing my face into the dirt. And you know, since then, he's apologized for that. And then he said, today, because I posted something on Facebook about being on tour with like Brookshield and like and Martha Stewart, I did just know your Value tour with MSNBC and Prudential and like they were all speaking at the same tour, and he said today, you know, it's so funny that, you know, to watch you and watch you grow and see where you are now.

He said, I guess you showed me. Huh. And I was like, I guess I did. And it just felt really good. And I was just thinking to myself, you know what, this is what. I didn't know what the more was, but this is it.

I could not articulate it when I was twenty six, But now at thirty six, I'm living the life that I wanted to live that I knew I could not live with him, and not even in a you know, I'm not bashing him anywhere.

He's a great guy.

You know, but we weren't a match. And now I'm so glad he gets to honestly.

See that, like this is what Tiffany was talking about, because I don't honestly, I'm sure.

He's looking at my life now and saying, yeah, I don't want that in a wife.

He's quite grateful. That's great that he was big enough to say that to you. That's a good win. I'm making that one of your wins tonight.

Oh yes, no, that could definitely be my win. Yes, oh yeah.

It just felt good to be like yes, because I didn't want him to think that I just left, like for no reason, because we.

Had such a great relationship, but it was just like.

Oh, I want more.

I don't know where more is. So he's like, so you're leaving me for a vague feeling, and I'm like yeah, basically, so yeah.

Gut feeling. Yeah it felt a little vague.

Yeah, so yeah, that's definitely my win. Like, oh, so I guess she showed me. And I was like, you know what, I guess I did.

Good for you, thanks, and good for him.

Yeah exactly.

You know, I'm not gonna say his name obviously, because who knows his wife might listen. But it's not even like that. Wife, if you're listening, we don't want each other. I am so good with Superman. He sounded really well. I don't speak to him, but it was just a Facebook quick message. He sounded really happy with you. So congratulations, everybody's happy. Everybody's winning.

Yeah, okay, oh my win.

I got it.

I got it. I remember now.

So Tanahase Coates, who is the macarthurs genius. He's won so much a praise for his book Between the World and Me, which came out earlier this year. He's a brilliant writer. He's a I think he's a national correspondent for The Atlantic, and he was recently awarded the National Book Award, which is like kind of close.

To a Pulitzer.

Okay, it's a big deal, and you want it for the book Between the World and Me. And if you're not familiar with Tanahase, first of all, get familiar. You must go read everything he's written. He's becoming he's like one of the foremost writers on race in America today and his book is written. It's influenced by James Baldwin,

I'm sorry.

We're usually supposed to end on a win that we're like, ah, we're ending on a lot.

I'm sorry.

Well, Kana Assie, he's such a you know, he's sort of an anti hero in the literary world, in the in the whole Black America, the whole you know, black Lives Matter movement.

He is sort of an anti hero and that he.

Refuses to say it's all going to be okay, And so I think that's a win in and of itself, you know, And I'm glad he's getting the props because he has, you know, he tries to deny that he's like this public intellectual figure, you know, but he honestly has brought so much, so much of a spotlight to issues that maybe wouldn't have been addressed otherwise, and such a really intelligent voice. So I'm grateful to him, and I think that is a win.

So thanks so much for listening.

Guys.

If you want to get in touch with us, you can email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com.

You can go to Facebook and find us at the Brown Ambition and Brown Ambition not the Just.

Brown Ambition Again b A podcast on.

Twitter the b A podcast. Yes, that's when we get tripped up because the's a V in the Twitter name.

Oh yeah, yeah, I guess so. But people haven't tweeting.

Us like I love it.

I'm like dads and emailing. The questions have been streaming in. We love the questions. We have a couple lined up for next week. So definitely email us your questions. You can tweet us your questions, tweet us your brown breaks, your wins, whatever you want. And definitely join the group on Facebook because it is over five hundred people right

You know you love us, You know you us, I love you too. All right, Well, enjoy your Turkey day, Joy Thanksgiving.

Me, Happy Thanksgiving, you too, have fun eating.

Pray for me you too.

Okay, bye bye bye bye