Hey, hey, hey, oh child. So it's about the snow and I'm supposed to fly out tomorrow to LA and I'm praying that my flight is my canceled. How are you?
I thought I escaped that crap. I'm down south. I came to Charlotte for work and they're all losing their minds because they're going to get like a quarter inch of snow.
Oh that's so cute. Oh sidebar. Welcome to brown Abish and listeners, because as I wonder, I mean, I know you clicked the brown Ambition button, but I always think I feel like we should be like, Hi, my name's Tiffany and this is Mandy.
We can do that. Hi, my name's Mendy.
Choke myself.
I changed my last name on Facebook. You did, and not a damn person noticed.
Can I emit something terrible? You know, we still have to go pick up our license. I was like, one of us have to go get it?
Wait, pick it up?
Yeah, yeah, I know, we're like the worst. And meanwhile, it's not like we got married in Zimbabwe. We got married in the city where we live, and city Hall is just a hop skipping to jump away and I always forget Yeah, I.
Mean, you know those little like, uh technicalities, those little formalities. I doesn't matter when you're yelling at someone about their socks being on the floor, that's real marriage. Don't tell me we're not married exactly.
I've been such a bad wife lately, but I've definitely turned it around. Me Will also only been two days to turn around. But he was like, so, like, are you never going to help out around the house anymore? Because it's just been so crazy, And so I finally was like, I gave myself three specific chores. So we agreed upon it. As long as I do these three chores, he's gonna lay off my back. And my choices are dinner,
because I actually enjoy cooking dinner. It's just that if I don't pre plan, I'm the one at five o'clock, like I should have took out the chicken, like what are we gonna eat dinner? Grocery shopping, which when I say I hate grocery shopping, When I say I hate grocery shopping, I hate grocery shopping. I just went and I thought I was gonna cry. I was like, this is the worst experience of my life. But I'm gonna learn how to use Instacart because I'm not going back
out there. And then the third choy is laundry, which I have found a great laundry surface. Even though we have a washer dryer, I don't have time, so I drop it off and I pick it up, and I take the money from our household, like we have a household built Bill's account, and that's why same place I take the grocery shopping money. So as long as I do those three things, I don't have to worry about dishes. He's like a mopper. I've never really been like like
I'll sweep and like, you know, i'll spot mop. But I've never been like a mopper. And I'm like a whatever, you can do that. And then like he does like most of the cleaning. So we've reached the we've reached a happy, happy space because it was not there. I was. I really wasn't pulling my my weight at the house.
Honestly, it's living together is I mean, it's it's like any other roommate, like you really can't take too much advantage of your partner. I mean, I'm much more relaxed about it easier because you can like talk about you know, you're not shy about You're not there's no politeness. It's like, really, your socks are here again, Why why are they laid out so neatly as if you're just going to pick up those dirty socks your sweaty feet have been in all day and put them back.
On im from the hamper. I literally am the worst. Like I sometimes take a step back and I'm like, would you would you stand for this? Tiffany she was? I would not, And I'm always like I just look at him, like I apologize, sir, I will do better because he's like, you know, between you and Supergirl, it's like, you know, I'm the adult. I got two big old babies in the house.
Hey, girls are messy.
We are me and Supergirl. So let me just look at each other. And I'm like, yeah, we're terrible. And I'm like me, why she's eleven, so she's allowed.
But that's the age.
This is like free labor. This is what you're supposed to do with your like free adolescence. Just like teach them the beauty of hard labor. You know what, it's a lie though you don't really grow out of like this. I'm the same person I am when it comes to cleaning that I was when I was like twelve, Like I still don't make the bed yep, I'm still terrible about folding my laundry. I mean that's the big fight. Now.
Now we have a beautiful washer dryer, which is like a big deal for those of you who live in other places besides New York to have your own washer dryer. I just treat it like my closet, like an extension of my closet the dryer, you know, like, oh, let's just I'll go find some socks or in the dryer. Why bother folding them. I'm just gonna use them this week. I know what's in there. It's my workout clothes. So I'll just get a pair of workout clothes a day.
Doesn't work.
But uh yeah. It's also like, I mean people think that money is what you argue about. It's like those simple things. It's like division of labor and labor is time is money.
It is the vision of labor. And I'm the worst because I'm like, do you know, like I could totally write a proposal in the hour that you're asking me to. Like he's looking at me like he finally had to say, you know, I don't work for you, right, I'm not. I'm not part of the unicorn squad or whatever you call your your team. I don't know. That's not how this works. And I'm like, Okay, you're.
The boss at work, but we're co managers are at home.
He exactly. So I mean, but I'm learning, and I feel much better because today dinner was done. We had vegan tacos, which you know, that's what was holding up dinner too, because I wasn't really I was. The whole vegan thing kind of threw off my like, well, how do I make dinner now? You know?
But stuff?
Yeah, and so we had vegan tacos which were delicious and yeah. So now I'm feeling back at a groove. Like I said, I want food chopping, which I'm not. See this is the thing. I don't mind running into like Whole Food to grab a few things, but full blown, like big mama food chopping. I hate that. So I'm gonna figure out a plan for that. You do, I.
Do, It's not for me. I feel like maybe I spend more money when I definitely spend more money when I give myself more time, Like they've shown you know the idea that you know, they say, bring a list and do all your shopping and meal preps for the week. But I think people have found that you actually spend money and you're more likely to like waste food if you do those big shopping runs. Next it's better to
shop as you need it. But like reality is, a lot of people don't have time to go every day when they need something, or they don't live like in New York where you have a key food on your way to the train, or like you can just pop into the corner store and grab something. But I know I love going. Like when I shop, I don't even bring husby. I'm like, you're gonna stay at home. I
need my two hours. And I like to go up and down every single aisle and read every package and every price tag, read the unit price, compare things, just see what's new. I like to see if there's a new type of produce this week. I tried a pumelo. I never tried that before.
I did see that produce out, but I was like, I delicious. It's the opposite. I kept thinking to myself, is how inefficient you go into the store put things in the cart, just to take them out of the cart, to put them on the conveyor belt, to put them back in the cart, to take them out of the cart and put them in the car, to take them out of the car and put them in the kitchen, and to take them out of the kitchen and put them in the cabinet. There's so much in out it.
I said, oh no, no, no, no. Like honestly, I didn't even realize my face like why my dad would say, why do you look so morose and melancholy? I didn't realize my face looked miserable. When I would come back home and I always call Superman like okay, I'm like two minutes away. That means come out and help me. So he was helping me in with the grocery and he's like, what's wrong with you? I'm like what he said, Yo, your face looks like yo, somebody killed the dog and
we don't have a dog. And I'm like, it's because grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping, so I'm gonna try instacart.
But also like.
I don't know, no, I think instacart is like when someone goes grocery shopping for you it's like Uber for grocery shopping from what I understand. But then also there are different grocery stores that have like you can order online and they'll like bring it to you. I'm I don't the cost does not matter. When I say the cost doesn't matter, I shall pay. What do you what's the search arge? It's yours, happily, So I will dance for that extra fifty or hundred. I don't care what it is. I'm paying it.
Oh, I bet I bet someone like me. I bet I would save money that way if you take me out of the equation me grabbing. Oh, I'm gonna try this this week, or you know, buying. I bought three mustards, like what I looked at my cabinet. I have three mustards and one in the fridge. What is happening? I'm turning into like an old lady. But no, I bet I would save a lot of money using one of those.
So I'm gonna I'm gonna see. I'm gonna let you need to.
Let our steam or you just need some space, No, that's nap time. I need a big house like the only I have. When I escape, I go to the grocery store.
Bad so I went to the doctor today. My surgery is next week. I'm nervous. Oh you do like that?
There's a I guess they call it pre op. So that's like, you know, the week before they take your blood blood pressure, and basically it's you sit down with the doctor and they just talk about this is how the surgery is going to go and so yeah, so basically it's like I said, it's so for those of you who don't know, I'm getting fiboid surgery to get rid of especially one particularly large fiboard, because I want to be able to have kids, and with this fibroid,
I'm not going to be able to, at least not successfully. So fibroids are like this fleshy like tumor, like like I guess ball kind of that can grow in women's inside or out on the outside perimeter of their uterus, and depending on how big or how small, it can prevent women from having kids. A lot of women will get fiboids after having kids, so they'll just kind of leave them, but they can lead to heavy periods and like pain, and mine weren't really causing any of those.
It was just why are we not getting pregnant? And then it was like, oh, you've got this giant fiboid the sides of a four month old baby inside you. I was like, oh, well that would explain it, so yes, and so like, So typically a woman's uterus is like the size of a pair, so not very big. My
fibroid is the size of a grapefruit. So so because your your uterus grows as the baby grows, so so it's you know, my uterus has grown to accommodate this grapefruit size fleshy thing, which I'm like, yo, that's so freak. I know, I'm sorry, but it's so freaking and crazy and I'm like, yikes. And so she's like, yeah, we're just gonna go in. Because there's two types of surgeries.
You can have the one where it's like a laser they kind of go in, and then there's one where they actually like like almost like you're having a sea section, like you know, you open yourself up and take out a baby, but this time a fibroid. And I asked her, well, because a lot of people were like, why not the laser, And I asked her, why not the laser? She said,
because mine is so large. She said, there's a certain finesse about basically because one of my fibroid is not on the outside of the uterus, which I could still have the baby if if if it was it's on the inside, So that means that she wants to really finesse taking it out and putting my uterus back together. And with the laser, she it's not as she doesn't have as much control. So she was like, you know, if you were older and you're like, girl, I have
two kids, She's like, it would be different. But you know, the purpose of the surgery is to make sure that we're putting you back together so you can have kids, and so woo woo. She was like, you know, she's pretty confident that I should be able to get pregnant
pretty quickly. I told her I wanted to try in vitro yeah after and she was like, well, why don't you guys try natural for a while, And I said, honestly, I'm thirty eight man, so I think that, you know, and because the thing about in vitro, it's not like we can't do both. It's not like we can't try naturally, but I kind of don't want to like wait six months to a year you know, if I was thirty, I probably would honestly, we would probably try six months
to a year naturally. But since I'm thirty eight and I'm kind of like, yeah, I just want to get this party started. I mean that's a.
Whole doing the research part of it. Yeah, it's immediate with actors and stuff.
Yeah, so I'm gonna bell I'll be laid up for about four weeks. Well that's not true. Are You're not really supposed to leave the house for about four weeks, but they which you're supposed to walk around and stuff like that, So it's not like you're like in the bed for like four weeks. You're just not supposed to like travel and stuff like that. So I was so basically my regular life, but except for more of an excuse not to leave the house because I like never
leave the house. But I just kind of want to give everybody an update. And I know some of you guys have. So many people have hit me up and they're like, I have fiboids. It's crazy, Mandy, how many women are dealing with in their thirties, especially because I guess that's when fiboids typically tend to kind of like pop up if you're going to have them either in your thirties or after you have your.
Kids, and when do you So you don't really detect them as that, you know, when you have your normal checkup, you know the doctor will push around and feel your uterus and stuff. But is that how you discovered them or was it really just like had you not been finding them during normal checkups? Like I'm just wondering if you wanted to stay on top of it, how you would.
Yeah, you know, I did it. I mean I'm trying to think like it had been a while since i'd been into like, you know, my gynocologists, but i'd been It wasn't like years. It happened only because I was like, hey, you know I don't smoke, I don't drink, and you know I exercise on occasion. Why are we not getting pregnant? So it was that that was like, you know, it was them looking to see like why are you not
getting pregnant? Is there something wrong? And so that's when like the doctor was like, oh, you have fibroids, And I was like, wait what she's you didn't know you had fibroids? And I'm like, no, you know much. She's like, one's the last time been to the doctor. It had been maybe a year, I guess, but my normal annual checkup. So I'm like, well, it hasn't been that long. And she said, well, you're at the age where it's child bearing.
There's a hormone. I guess that. They're not really sure where friboids come from, but she's like, it could have grown in that time, and that's why you know, you didn't You didn't know because I wasn't necessarily looking for it. But yeah, I would just say that if you are, one of the symptoms is heavy cramping and heavy periods.
But I wasn't even getting that, so you know, I know to ask or to look, you know, but I did notice that, Like I said, I had this little punch, like even when I was working out, I'm like, why is this little It wasn't a big belly, but this little belly that I can't seem to get rid of. It was basically the fibroids poking out, you know.
And is it hereditary? Like if you have a history in your family.
I don't know, but they honestly don't know why. I mean, in my family there is definitely a history, but the truth of the matter is it's so common. I would say, out of ten women that I've told, like my friends that had fiveboids, four of them were like, oh yeah, me too. Yeah, so it was I mean, of course that's not some scientific study, but it was. It's so
much more normal than I ever knew that. You know that so many women, especially my friends, in their thirties, and I suspect, like I said that from what I'm just doing a little bit of research finding out that that's typically when they rear their heads, like in your thirties. And the reason why I never really heard of it is because I wasn't asking my friends in their twenties. Plus we weren't trying to get pregnant for the most part in our twenties.
Yeah, that's true, but it's like you're not alone though, You're not alone among women who have like waited until their mid to late thirties and maybe dealing with the same things. So thanks for sharing it, and I hope everything goes smoothly.
I know it's scary though, because I never had major surgery. So when they talk to you, they're like, so, we're gonna have like your blood on deck and I'm like, wait, just in case you need a transfusion.
I'm like stacks on stacks on stacks, I.
Know, and just like little things that like, you know, not little things, but like you know, its just I've never had major surgery, so of course you're nervous. But then part of me is like, well, a sea section, which is basically what this is, is not uncommon. So it's not like she's performing like like my husband had, you know, the annualism brain surgery. I mean, that was like whoa, But this is like, okay, Tiffany women have babies all
the time. Sea sections are done literally hundreds, if not thousands, if now I'm sure tens of thousands of times a day. So I mean it's not you know this like, oh my gosh, I've never done this before. And this doctor has been doing the surgery for twenty years. She's come highly recommended. And this was like my second I always I encourage everyone to get a second opinion because some doctors are a little bit surgery happy. So this is
my third opinion. But I liked her how she explained everything to me, and yeah, she just her bedside manner and her explanation of why she's choosing this method was really you know, it's what made me choose her. Yeah.
Absolutely, co sign don't be afraid to doctor shop if you have time, and it's like non urgent. Yeah, I went do the same thing with my with getting on my tooth, my tooth surgery tooth operation. I hesitate to call it surgery procedure, but yeah, that stuff is stressful and it's your body, so definitely, I just I just I think I went to three dentists till I found and I actually liked. But so, what your surgery is next week? Are we gonna have a show next week
or what'll we hear from you after the surgery? What's what's this good? Yeah?
So yeah, well we'll have a show next week because it's before my surgery is not until Thursday and so, and then after that we'll play it by ear. I mean, honestly, from what she said, she's like, girl, you'll be walking around like it's not literally the life that she described that I can have like for the next three weeks.
I'm like, oh, so my normal life, she was like, I was like, oh yeah, so basically sitting standing like I don't go to the office, so I'm not gonna lie because I hate putting on pants, so I'd rather just be home, like you know, in my nighty doing work. So it's just an excuse to live my normal life. So I don't anticipate it. Yeah, like I know Superman is like I didn't sign up for this. No, he's awesome.
Depends what kind of nighty it is I.
Had, you know, I just say, like I did go to Target. Target actually had some really cute nightgowns that are like that. You know, they don't because you don't want to wear I'm not trying to wear neglige ade just like on a Tuesday at three, although I'm sure you would love that, but you know, you want a nightgown that's cute but also like comfortable, and so I like, in between.
The double X college T shirt, I had a skimpy Victorious Secret aisle like the middle Ground.
Yeah yeah, it almost looks like a like a Maxi dress, like a summer dress. You know. Hm, so it's cute. So yeah, so so I'm honestly, it seems like it'll be my regular life minus travel.
Okay, it's happening, I know, great. I know at least two women who've had the surgery and things have been fine, they have babies.
Was it for the babies or was it for just because.
I don't know about the first one, but the most recent one she only had the procedure over the summer, and I actually don't know her well enough to be checking in like that. So when you know people are trying, it's you also don't want to ask. Yeah, Like it's like when someone you know you always I don't know it just you just wait for them to tell you because it's kind of sensitive. You never know.
Yeah, all right.
All right, all right, out right out.
Yeah, So I wanted to mention real quick some people are maybe noticing that the stock markets having a little bit of a temperate interim right now. It went down, the stock market went down today, and I just wanted I just thought it was a good opportunity to talk because like I just checked my four oh one K from the last year, and if you do that, you might see if you've been investing in this past year,
you might see in incredible returns. Like in the past year, my my four to oh one K, which I don't do anything fancy with, was up twenty two percent, which is in freaking sane, like the markets for just raging this year, but like what goes up must come down, and I think it's I think this is a time when you just remind people that yes, we've had this crazy, amazing bull market and your stocks are doing great, but there's gonna be probably a correction, like socks are probably
going to go down. But the point of the key here is to remember, so long as you're well diversified in your investments, it's better to just don't do anything, like, don't freak out, don't try to fiddle with things, don't try to sell everything. If you're investing for like I'm a retirement investor, like I'm I'm investing for the long term. And again and again, it's like experts say, just don't do anything, like research has shown and they've actually done this.
They've gone back and looked at studies of investors like four to one K investors who sold during the recession, and they have done worse than people who just stayed and rowed, just rode the wave. That's just what the market does. It goes up, it goes down, it goes up, it goes down. That's just it's always going to happen that way, So don't be too freaked out by the headlines.
This is just is this is honestly just what everyone's been expecting for a while, and who knows, it could be back up tomorrow, but I just thought I would give that little public service announcement.
No, it is hard, especially if you're checking, like you said, every single day, so they really kind of tell you not to, especially if you're now if you're a trading right, So yeah, difference, I know. So trading is kind of like when you literally trade, you go in, you go out,
you go in, you go out. But if you're investing, like Mandy said, for long term, then you know the ups and the downs are part of the overall growth, you know, and so you just kind of like, okay, I know that in the end, I mean, unless you're like retiring tomorrow, I should be in a better position.
Well, if you are retiring tomorrow, like that's that's the thing. That's the reason that they say, you know, once once a year, once every couple of years, if you're younger, check in and maybe recalibrate your portfolio, like get a little bit out of stocks and more into like secure, more into safe, safe investments like bonds and CDs and
things like that. But as you're older, you should be shifting in that direction, like less exposed to risk, like less stocks and shifting more to safe investments like bonds and CDs and things like that. That's so like when I have a target date fund. You guys might have heard of target date funds. This is a type of investment account that is like it's sort of like a a pre made a pre made retirement fund for you. They've done the asset allocation, and as you ate, they
shift things over the internet. The web, the robots shift things over for you, so you don't even have to You literally can set it and forget it. So you pick a target dat fund that's like tied to your retirement year. I think mine's a twenty fifty five, and I don't have to do anything. As I get older,
it's going to become less risky. And so if there were a super like if the market did go down when I was older and close to retirement, the aim there is that, Okay, I wouldn't be as exposed as I am now at thirty, and then I wouldn't feel that pain of that downturn so much so people who really felt pain with people who were too heavily exposed, too close to retirement, and probably we're taking on more risk than they should have.
Yeah, and so you have to know that, like it's important that when you're you're thinking about investments that there there's more than one way. So where tire people don't think about retirement. I'm glad you made that distinction that as retirement as an investment, it is so me I
have too. So like I invest for retirement, which is the express desire to have a certain amount of money by a certain age, but then I also invest specifically for wealth, So that's I don't put as much money toward that, but it's money that you know, I'm a little bit more risky with, and the express desire for
that money is to grow myself wealth. And so I kind of put my investments into two different kind of like pots like that, where I'm like, okay, I set aside a specific amount every single month for retirement, so by the time I'm fifty, that's kind of like my age. By the time I'm fifty, I'll have a certain amount of money. And then for wealth, I'm like Okay, I set aside less money, but I'm more risky where I'm like, if I lose the money, it won't be detrimental because I have my retirement.
Nest egg exactly. It's like you have to ask yourself, like, Okay, what am I saving for? And then how much time do I have if you're like for me saving for it. We've always had our down payment for a house. Honestly, now we've had it for like two years. Probably should have put it in a CD by the time we thought we would need it within a year, so that
in savings. But yeah, if we were going to play with some money to maybe I don't know, go on a vacation, a big or fifth anniversary trip or something like that, I wouldn't mind putting that into a little investment fund like a little brokerage account and letting it grow for a while. Yeah, just just just ask yourself those questions before and ask yourself, is it the wisest decision too? I don't know put my you know, I've got two years before my kid graduates college. I really
want to gamble their college savings in the market. But when they're two months old, Yeah, maybe you want to open up an investment account and be a little riskier because you got eighteen years to invest for their college. Yeah, that's the kind of conversation you should be having with your spouse, with a professional financial advisor, just someone who can help you line up your goals and then work on them.
Actually, somebody sent me like, just like on ig a store, if we can save it for question? But it ties in perfectly with this about say put it setting inside money in your four one K versus paying off debt, so we can maybe.
Oh I love that question.
M it's a good one.
Okay, So are you ready to break or boothe break or boooo? I already told you where my break is going to be. If you want to go first, I will certainly welcome it. Or I can go first. It's a deep one.
Oh I'll go first. I'll go first. I was gonna I can do. I'm gonna do a pre boost for my real boost. Unrelated, but I literally spent like I don't know, half the weekend watching Living Single on Hulu. I was I posted on our Facebook. I really was not kidding. My weekend was made. I had no idea it was coming back that show. I probably watched it when I was too young to be watching it.
But wait, it's coming back.
No, it's back. It's on Hulu. Who Okay, two things. One, it's on Hulu too. Yes, they're talking about revising it with the original cast, which I am like losing my mind over losing it because I mean, yes, Max Attorney in Law, Yes, yes, Sinclair Overton.
Oh my gosh, Rage.
Regine Kyle. I don't even know who the rest of the cast is. But it's fun to go back and watch old episodes because you see people like Terrence Howard was in It's it's so funny. But this show is everything, and it's just anyway I had. I've had the theme song in my head all weekend, like.
Oh yeah, this was quintessential nineties.
And not only that, but like, regive it respect because this show was like the launching pad for other shows like Friends. I mean this show, this show. Everyone wanted to repeat what they had with the show, and I couldn't believe it was just on five seasons.
I didn't know that. Yeah, I love Queen Lati. You know she's from Newark and Newark Flash Rbton like this area, and so I believe I think her mom was retired, but she she was a teacher at high school I believe in Newark for a number of years until she retired. So Queen Latifa is like, yeah, she is the Owens.
Yeah, okay, that's my pre boost. Okay, so the nineties are back. They're like bringing back Roseanne too. I can't
okay too much nineties. So my real boost is so we all know that after the Golden Globes, the success of the Golden Globes, everyone was all fired up about the times Up movement, and then it came out that Michelle Williams, who walked the red carpet with Tarana Burke, the founder of the Me Too movement, it came out that she was paid like one thousand dollars for a reshoot of a film, and her co star Mark Wahlberg, who somehow is the highest paid actor in America, was
paid like a million dollars, yeah, for the same reshoot. And actually the reshoot the only reason the reshoot happened is because Kevin Spacey, the actor who a celebrity came out or an actor came out and said that when he was a teenager, Kevin Spacey assaulted him and all these other revelations about Kevin Spacey came out from other people coming forward, and he was kicked off this movie.
He wasn't kicked He wasn't kicked off the movie. He'd already done his part in film that the movie was done, but the director decided to recast him and then go back and reshoot his scenes with the different actors. So Michelle Williams Mark Wahlberg were called in to do those reshoots, and then they found it came it got, it got leaked to the process. Yeah, she was paid one thousand, and he was paid like.
One million, like one zero zero zero, like.
Yes, one thousand. So apparently he was on he was on some special contract that he had negotiated and he got he just got. He was able to renegotiate. Whereas she she got the union rate, like if you're an actor, you're part of sack. She got the union rate for But once it leaked, it was I mean, it was obviously the timing of it was so ironic. But anyway, I h it turns out Mark Wahlberg in the end decided to donate his salary to I don't know if it was to the Times that I think it was
to the Times Up movement. He decided he pledged a million and a half dollars to times Up. I love it, Okay, this was one way to handle that because it's not necessarily his fault. It's the people. It's the people on the other end who are seeing everything. And it's also like Michelle Williams agent like her agent should probably.
Yeah, I need you to yeah, get on that. Wow. I'm like, I just because when you said a thousand, I said, oh, she must me one hundred thousand, which is still terrible. A thousand dollars girl, Like I could pay you that?
Yeah?
Yeah, And how's that a boost again? Oh?
It was a boost for the way Mark Anthony, Mark Anthony, it was a boost for the way that he handled it.
Okay. Yeah, I was like, wait a minute, I got lost to the sauce, Like, wait a minute, how is that good?
And there's more.
It's a multi layered boost. Not only are you getting a pre boost, you're also getting a multi layered post boost. Okay, So other actors who I've worked with, so Woody Allen obviously has he has a the Sordid Pass where his stepdaughter accused him of sexually molesting her, and then everyone just kind of ignored it, and he's continued to like want oscars when I and work with the best of the best actors. So finally it seems like people are willing to turn their back or at least at least
acknowledge what happened. So there's some actors who have pledged not to work with him, and then a couple who recently worked with him have donated their salaries to pro women charities, including Times UP.
So I saw that someone that Selena Gomez, her mother like either tweeted her or ig like was like yeah. I told Selena, like, that's not you shouldn't work with him, that you have this show about discrimination toward women, And I don't know what the show was. That Selena is like executive producing whatever, why would you work with him? And like, so her mom not threw her under the bus, but I think someone asked her, why should you go to work with him? She's like Selena, as an adult,
it can make her own choices. I told her it wasn't a good idea, but at the end of the day, she can make her own choices, and she did. And I don't agree with it. I said, oh, I know, she was.
One of the ones who well she yeah, she was one of the ones who said that they were donating to the cause because she had worked with Fordy Allen.
Child. There's so much going on. I'm like, oh my gosh. I mean it's good that things. You know, if they say, you know, somebody's grandma's does what what doesn't come out and in the wash comes out in the rents, you know the yeah. So it's like so eventually, basically you know what happens. Eventually you know it's not it can't stay a secret forever, basically, and so secrets are being exposed and shared as they ought to be. It's just that some days you're just like boom boom boom boom boom.
So you know what, in honor of your your multi layered boost, I'm actually going to do a multi layered break.
Oh love it.
So first break just a little something light to the other one's kind of heavy, just hit me. So first Break is for folks that always want to meet in person when a phone call is enough? Why why why why why why? So because people will be like, I
get it. FaceTime is definitely great, but sometimes people will want to meet, especially like if I know you, I'm like, girl, like we're not strangers, We're not like you know, trying to just didn't know each other and let me meet you sometimes, you know, like I'll have meetings and I'm like, this could have so been a phone call and I could have still been in my ninety.
And there's some people You're like, I know you enough already.
We don't need Yeah, we don't need to, like like if we're gonna meet, like you know, it doesn't have to be this formal meeting, like you know. So that's a little break. So stop trying to meet with people if you really could have a phone call, because it's just a waste because the travel time, they get ready time, Like I prefer to look crazy at home in my target nighty talking to you on the phone and just
getting down to business. So that's one that's a light break and a heavy break is And I wasn't even gonna mention it, but I'm like, you know what forty five and his remarks on Haiti and African nations, calling them s whole countries, and I was just like, you know what, I'm actually gonna boost Lola Lola, I'm gonna say your name wrong and they're gonna take my Ebo card. Ugh he Lola, what is your name? Oh?
Oh, they're coming for you.
I know they are because they're like word tippany honestly, like she is a is an anchor, Lola Ogunaki, o Gunaki. Oh, I think I said it right, O Gunaki, Lola Ogunaki. She's my girl and she's the host of Entertainment Weekly. But she was recently on CNN and she decided to talk about these countries that especially because Lola is Nigerian like myself, and she was like, let me give you some stats about this whole country that the president is describing that you know, like the stats on level of
education and what they bring. One thing she said that was thought that was like WHOA. I didn't realize that she was like that Nigerians. That's one of the countries that the President said that why are these people coming here? That we have people like Norway instead coming here, which basically means why are black and brown people coming here? We much rather have white people, which is like, that's
the definition of racist. Although forty five, will you know he's the least racist person ever but you know whatever, And so she had a stat where she said, Nigerians make up less than one percent of the African American population here in America, of the black population here in America, but make up like twenty five percent of those like in college or uh. And so basically you're saying like that this is a country that like's yielding like terrible people,
and the numbers say that's a lie. And you know it just I said I wasn't gonna give energy to it because honestly, I've been overwhelmed enough and I just I just don't get it, Like is this a dream? No, a nic just like, what is really actually happening in like the United States of America? That is this a real person? Is this really being said? Is he's telling like another nation? Well, my my my buttons? You know, my nuclear button is bigger than yours. I just who
does that? Are you five? Are you? Are you in middle school? I just And then to see people steel like championing him, I'm like, I don't. I don't know if you realize that if nuclear work comes, you're gonna die? Are you crazy?
Like?
I just oh, child? So that's my break, a break from his I just wish somebody would turn his mic off, turn his mic off. It turns it turned away.
I mean, he's got it for at least another three years. I mean, I'm bless something. But you know, I will say we I posted this on the group there's you know, people were, like you said, you didn't want to give voice to it, but a lot of people were taking an opportunity to post about themselves, like I'm from a shithole country and here's I have three degrees, I speak
four languages, I'm a future doctor. You know, it's been it's that was beautiful, see, because you know it's not true, Like we know it's anyone who has been exposed to anyone from a foreign country who's immigrated to the United States and made a life here. You know that these are the most ambitious, the most proud Americans there can be, the most people who will not squander the privileges that they have here. And you know what, you know what,
why not give them? Why not give them an excuse to shout, to show people, to remind people who they are and that they're here and what they're doing. And yeah,
it's it's really sad. I'll tell you that Friday, like the news came out earlier last week, and then Friday, I had already had tickets to this show on Broadway called Once on This Island, and I knew it took place in islanded the Caribbean, but I just I didn't know it was in Haiti until I got there and sat in my seat and read the notes, and then the music started, and then I was swept away. And it was a beautiful. It was a beautiful play about
family and love. And yes, I poor people in a poor country, but the intersection of poverty and wealth and Haiti and it was it felt like it was meant to be that I was there on the week when he called Haiti and other countries, you know, use that word to describe them because it's so clear that they're not. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry to everyone that his words hurt. But I feel like and and and sadly, he's he's
he's representative of a lot of like toxic. It's like he's the face of the snake that's been underneath the belly of America for so long. He's there's just a face and a mouse to it. Now we have to confront it, you know, yeah, you know.
It's it's and that's exactly how it feels. It feels like because somebody for so long, brown folks have been saying, yeah, so racism still existing, and folks have been telling them, like you have a black president, be quiet, ain't no racism, and we're like, yeah, I kind of live in this brown skin. So I've seen it and it's still here. And so this is kind of like I feel like a lot of people would. Honestly, I'm not super surprised.
I'm just surprised at how blatant it is, Like the well it blade it is from the White.
House's safe enough to say it.
Yeah, yeah that and then to say it's a lie. I didn't say that. I just you know what, I'm just gonna go back to my happy place, which is making dinner, doing laundry, and you know, unfortunately going food shopping, and then I just but just.
Your very presence and your success is exactly the answer to him that we need. Do you know of your life, because that is the ultimate protest and to.
Do like, I mean, the truth is like one of the things that I've been like, I've been kind of uh like slow rolling on is I've been wanting to start like a foundation, and I was just like, oh, there's just so many ins and outs, and but then I told myself, you know, now, more than ever, I want to start a foundation where myself and you know, the Dream Catchers, that we donate money to it every single year and they collectively decide what to do with it.
I would love half of the money to go to other nonprofits that are doing amazing work for girls, for girls and women that I specifically want to focus on women and girls are kids, and so like we would vote every year to be like, okay, so who are we giving half this money to the Girl Scouts? This that okay, that's great, And then the other has to be set up like a scholarship program, and maybe we
would pick one specific goal. So maybe the first year the scholarship program is for Dreamcatchers who can't afford daycare and they can apply to get help to help supplement the cost of daycare. And like having like a team in place to help, you know, vet and make sure and then pay in the daycare. So that's like my
one of my goals. And I feel like, you know, one of the reasons why I don't like to give too much energy to like this, and you know his poison is that I so much much rather to put my energy toward creating something like that the Live Richer Foundation, where it's like, Okay, what actual change can I move to needle? How can I move the needle forward for
us as a community. And so that's like one of my and I've I've been speaking it out loud because dream Catchers are bossy and I know if I say it, they're gonna be on me, which I need because I'm like, no more excuses like well, I don't know how to start a foundation and I don't know how to. But a friend of mine, she's like, well, girl, that's what I do. I help foundations get set up. I will help you. I'll help you get the board together and what you need. And you don't have to do everything
all in one year. We could just get the found the framework set up for this year, and in twenty nineteen we can raise funds, and in twenty twenty we could give away funds. It doesn't have to be just
like undertaking that you have in like six months. But so I'm just putting it out there because I want to do something that is not just about acknowledging what's wrong, but do something that's actually going to help make what I want to see what's right, and not just what I want to see what's right, but collectively what we want to see make that right.
You know, absolutely what better day to talk about this to you in the day after MLK the MLK holiday. Yes, this is the time, and I agree. I'm gonna my my One of my resolutions is to get involved in my local politics. My excuse has always been, you know, because I've moved so much, I'm like, oh, well, I don't really don't feel like I have roots anywhere. But I'm kind of done making that excuse. I'm just gonna get involved. Jersey City has a great local a c
l U group. There's little things I can do that I feel like. You know, I was so much more involved when I was in college, and now when I actually have more resources to give to a cause, it feels like I've I haven't been. So there's yeah, I.
Want to hear what they dream dream. I would like Brown Ambition listeners have to say. I would love if you would tweet us at what do We b A podcast?
The BA podcast at the BA Podcast on Twitter, yep, yep.
Tweet us at the BA podcast or right on our Facebook wall, Brown Ambition and just let us know, like what what what Brown boost will you do to make a difference? You know, so we could focus on bringing like the good positive energy forward.
I'd love to know, give us something to boost y'all. We're struggling here.
Yeah, please, you know what we can include you as a win that would be awesome.
Yeah. Every week it's like, let me shovel through this crap first, Well.
Chat all right, questions, I don't know if you I have my question. We can take two of them if you want. But I can pull out the question that the young woman wrote me that I thought was in alignment with what we talked about earlier.
No, let's let's do it. And this is a good chance to remind you guys, because the inbox is getting a little thin. I know y'all have some questions. Please get us up at Brown Ambition podcast dot com. You can click to Ask us anything tabs to send us a question, or you can hit us up directly at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. We get a lot of notes where people are like we love the show. We just want to say we don't have a question. That's awesome. But what you can also do is leave
those reviews online on iTunes. That would be amazing. It's so much more impactful when you don't just share with us, but you share with everybody. So we love those notes. But if you could also copy and paste them into iTunes, that would be lovely. Yes, all right, so let's do Yeah, let's hear your question.
All right. So this is the young girl on Instagram, and she said, on the topic of because I today for the Live Riachure Challenge the Networth edition, we talked about and putting money in your your IRA roth IRA or four one k. So she said, By the way, a topic that comes up for many regarding for one K that even I get shaky on is how does it make sense to save money into a four one K when I have outstanding credit card debt and student
loan debt? Should I be taking whatever I save and putting it toward debt since the interest is higher than the rate of return I'm getting in my four one K or retirement. I have to face this all the time surrounding I don't know. She says, surrounding myself with folks that say pay yourself first, that it's important. Okay, Well, anyway, that's basically what she's asking. There's a lot of other stuff in here. I'm like, what she's talking about, basically,
should should she put money? Should she continue to put money in her retirement account which she has a four to one K, or should she just say stop and put her money towards paying down the debt? Because it's like, ah, what should I do?
Yeah, I think a lot of people are in that position. There's no black and white answer, but I think the question itself is really smart, and she's right. If you have a twenty two percent interest rate credit card. I have a really good girlfriend. I'm trying to help right now. I'm not going to call her out, but she has three credit cards that have over twenty three percent infrastrates APR,
and she's been saving ten percent for retirement. And I'm like, I salute you for saving for retirement, but I really think that your money, you should maybe bring it down to five, keep your company match, and put a little bit more towards this credit card debt. Because yeah, I made twenty two percent of my retirement from this year this year, but on average you can only expect, like I don't know, seven to eight percent on a conservatively, which is not going to beat the twenty plus percent
that you may be paying on credit cards. So yeah, I think it's a try if you can to save a little bit for retirement, but attack your debt and get it out of the way because it's only going to drag you down.
So when Mandy says attack your debt, though, be mindful that she's not talking about typically student loan debt that the interest rate is lower, or your mortgage. It's credit card debt tends to be that's the most detrimental debt
that grows really quickly. Because what I don't want to see is because I see this, I think Prudential had done this study for like it's called the African American Experience, where they asked the African American community, what what are your financial like like your main financial goals and on a whole, our main financial goal was to get rid
of debt. And then they asked the community at large like they did like you know, like I guess a larger study and the community at large its meaning like non African Americans, their financial general financial goals were to grow wealth. And so my concern is that I find that a lot that especially within this Brown ambition community, that were so debt reduction focused that we forget that
you also have to be focused on investing. So I like the fact that you said that, Like, you're right that don't not put money aside for a retirement, but being smart about it because you have to, you know, you have to set aside and especially if your company matches. Definitely, So if your company says if you put up to five percent in your four to one K, we will match you up to five percent, then definitely match it,
you know. But but I don't want you shouldn't just be debt focused, but then you also shouldn't just be investment focused that there's a balance there depending on, uh, like, where your debt lies. If if your debt is credit card debt, then yes, heavily paid down credit card debt.
But if your debt is like student loan mortgage, then I wouldn't forego, like, you know, maxing out my retirement account to to pay down my mortgage faster, because one it's going to take forever and two you're likely going to get a higher rate of return on your on your retirement account then your then your mortgage interest rate is going to be Yeah.
I think a common combination we get when we get questions from magnified money readers is student debt and credit card debt and retirement. And if it's federal student loan debt, maybe and you have high interest credit card debt, maybe it means okay, for this year, you enrolled income from repayment plan, you get a reduced payment on your student loans, and you can throw more money towards your credit card debt.
And then one you're done with your credit card debt, you get out of the income to repayment plan and start attacking your student debt a little bit more. It's like a yeah, it's like a constant balancing act. And while you're doing that, maybe you're only putting it enough to capture your company match to your four one K.
And it's a process, you know. I think just the sheer, I think it's a good question to ask, but it's also it can like paralyze you too if you really try, and if you really try to come up with the perfect the perfect balance of saving versus paying down debts when you have so many things kind of cooking. I sort of think it's easier if you order things in priority based on interest rate and also like how they could harm you if you were to let them linger forever.
Obviously with your mortgage, you could lose your house. You don't want to do that. Seem to pay your mortgage bill on time, but paying more than your mortgage payment every month, Yes, like Tiffany said, yes, you'll pay it off a little bit fast, but it's not gonna it's not going to be better for you in the long run in terms of the extra costs. Then it would be to put that money towards your credit card debt or even your auto loan debt for that matter.
Yeah, because I don't. Loans tend to be higher interest rates than like your mortgage or your student loans and your if you have federal student loans, because private student loans can, those interest rates can be high.
Some people don't know either, even what their aprs are. So that's like a really good first step. It's just to sit down. I had my friend do this. I gave her like a spreadsheet just you know, line up your debts, find out the APR and really you can prioritize them that way, very simple. Yeah, anything over the seven percent you might get on average in your four one K that should be a priority, a bigger priority anyway.
Yeah, So hopefully we answered your question. The girl, so I said, you're on IG I'm going to force you to listen to Brown Ambition. I'm gonna say, hey, girl, here's the link to our website. I need you to listen because I answered your question versus like you know, typing it all up in Instagram DMS. So cool. That's how we get listeners, so strong on them. So yeah, you can tweet, you could tweet me and you can. I g be your questions, but I'm not gonna answer back.
I'm gonna say we address that on brann Abission episode three. No, I'm just.
Joking, Okay, sometimes I answer back to their emails.
I do. It's okay now, I'm just teasing, y'all. We all we enjoyed. The best place to really ask so is to go on to our website brandabis podcast dot com and and then just click ask ask us anything. Is that what it says? Yep mm hmm. That's the best place and ask away. We love answering questions. Honestly, to me, it's one of my favorite parts of the show,
and we really like to see your growth. And you know, it would be great if we answer the question and you want to give us an update, that would be amazing.
Yeah, definitely, it's time for win.
Day when I'm not gonna lie. I don't have a win at the top of my head right now. You go first.
I will gladly go first, apart from the fact that I'm drinking a nice ice cold beverage out of my Swell bottle, which I believe was Tiffany's win a couple months ago.
Yeah, I love this thing.
It's okay, I like it. It feels like I'm drinking out of a torpedo. I accidentally got the super big one that it's really big. I mean, it's great because you get twenty four ounces, but I also feel like when I carry it around and talk to people, I'm like, it's just part of me. I need to take a sip out of my torpedo.
You're gonna.
Yeah, it is so big you almost like you can like step back. I'm taking a swig. Okay, My wind was gonna be It's gonna be the I know we talked briefly about the the H and M T shirt gate from last week, but I saw today this, so okay, if you need to be updated. There was an H and M T shirt a picture of a I think it was a was he Swiss or Swedish as a black boy modeling a sweatshirt that has the cutest monkey in the jungle written on it, and somehow H and M thought that was cool and then publish it. It
was not cool. There's all this, but all this obviously the media has been reporting on it. But then I saw, like in South Africa, people have actually protested and H and M is shutting down some of its stores. And this is my win for the movement. This is my win for the resistance, my win for people standing up and not and standing up and then and not being not getting fatigued because I've I've read some comments on some posts about the H and M shirt, like people saying, what's.
The big deal?
Everyone's always making such a big deal about this. It happens all the time. Can't we just get over it? And the answer is no, you can't get this, can't be normal. You know, and it's nice to see people who are like standing up for and not letting it be normal. So that is my win.
Yes, so my win, you know what. I feel like I'm gonna start doing wins when I don't have like big general ones. I'd love to like highlight some dope brown ambition esque women that we that we know, you know that you guys should know. So this one is going to go to Patrise Colors. If you don't know Patrice, she is one third of the founders of the Black Lives Matter movement. So Patrise actually has a book out
called When They Call You a Terrorist. It's a memoir that she wrote, and it's already doing really well, like in pre orders or whatever. I think it actually is. By today's the first day that it's on sale. You can find it all over Amazon or whatever. But I just want to say congratulations Patrese. It's it's kicking. But last time I checked, it was like number one on
some lists on Amazon, which of course that's amazing. And you know the thing is, you know, you hear about Black Lives Matter matter, and you hear about theirs leaders in the movement, but you don't realize just how much of their life they give up for the movement. Like Patrice has been an activist for a long time, I mean high school, she organized things. She's just someone who cares deeply for the community and there's a sacrifice that
comes along with it. I was honored to be able to go to Sydney where she on behalf of the Black Lives Matter Network received a Sydney the Sydney Peace Prize, which is super prestigious, and so she receives it on behind of on behalf of Black Lives Matter, and just to see all that it takes and like the death threats, honestly and the I mean her life is not always you know, sometimes her life is put into jeopardy and
time away from her family. And patricea' is a mom and all that she does because she truly believes that black lives matter and she puts her life on the line to make sure that the world knows that. And so I just want to s a win for you, Patrice. Congratulations on your dope new memoir. When they call you a terrorist, she is one of the funniest, dopest, just warmest people that you can ever meet. And I'm fortunate in that I know her, but I also know op Open.
I always get your last name wrong on OPO's Nigerian or is she Nigerian? Yes? Opal was also a co founder of Black Lives Matter. But I just wanted to give Patrice some just a win for your new book and for continuing to do the work. You know that we haven't. You know, always done the work, and now you know this. Hopefully this book will take your work to the next level.
I love it when they call you a terrorist, I'm gonna check it out. I just finally finished Jennifer Lewis's memoir Amazing, Amazing, best audiobook ever. Go yeah, she's so freaking good. It's amazing. It's like going to a one woman show in your ears. Okay, Okay, she's saying, she just she has the most fascinating life. I love it. I'm on a memoir kick. When they call you a terrorist, I'm looking at it. Remember when we were gonna do recommendations.
Yeah, oh yeah, we're like the old lady. We're like, oh.
Yeah, I'm only bringing it up because I actually have one. I'll forget about it when I don't have one. Okay, No, the podcast recommendation so I listened to I love story podcasts, like you know, telling a story, and I recently discovered this Georgia based podcast. So there's two of them. It's true crime, and this documentary filmmaker from Georgia decided he was going to go back look at some cold cases
and try and solve these old cases in Georgia. One of them, the first one, which came out last year, actually resulted in two arrests in this cold case from ten years ago. But the newest one, which actually has the racial elements, it's covering the murders of several like dozens over thirty black boys in Atlanta during the late seventies early eighties, and this was like a serial murder
case that had never been solved. He just launched a new podcast, I think last week, and it's called The Atlanta Monster, and I highly recommend it because I'm like praying that he has the same kind of success that he had with the first season's podcast, because he his show basically like the attention that he brings to it, it digs up all these new revelations and stuff. So I'm really excited because if from Atlanta and you were young, like in the eighties. You know about this case because
it like crippled the city. My dad remembers that it crippled the city for so long because yeah, literally snatching boys off the street, black boys in particular, at a time when Atlanta was too busy to hate quote unquote, so really really interesting.
Wow, I love this little podcast that could choo choo. You know, we should start putting out a apb out for you. Y'all want to fund a podcast? Yep, y'all want to be a sponsor, palla.
Apg.
We should always put out like a a big at the end, just saying so boxers are always welcome as long as you're in alignment, holla, because you know, we want to keep the podcast going and rolling and we just love being in service to you guys. So you know, if you know a friend of a friend of a friend with a dope company that would be in alignment, you know, send us a message at go to brownebish and podcast dot com and click ask us anything and go out that form and let us know love it.
Yeah, I always open to sponsors, you guys. Just you know on brand, Yes, not your uncle's liquor store.
Yeah, I was on brand. You listened to long enough to know that, like you know, we're Although I love belly rings, that might not be a good fit for us.
The nineties are back, but not that back