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Hey, hey, new Time's a seller. Hey we're back. We're black, New Times that seller, we're brown and Yan.
Hey hey anything new Tiffy Bucanista, best selling author. I'm Alicia.
You know I'm not gonna lie. So I when I got the call, I was like, is this real life?
What happens when you become a bestseller? What is the call? That's what I want to know.
So what happens is, first of all, shout out to love you for ruining the surprise this chick, I'm like, how do you know what?
From my agent? So I was reading. I told my agent. I gave her a specific instructions.
I said call me on this number because I wanted to take myself to get my natural reaction to see because I wasn't you know, you never know.
Yeah, here goes Lovey, she what's at me? So that pops up right for you to call? So it ruined my natural reactions. It just said congratulations, did you do that? Seller? I said, started Lovey, But I was excited.
But no, honestly it's because well one you know, Lovey said, you know she had said you made the list. I saw her say congratulations, so I knew that's what it was. But then hnther called me, it was like, yes, you made the list for that. The hardest list to make on the New York Times Bestsellers List is the how to list because it includes so many things that sometimes they have hardcover soft cover.
It includes both hardcover and soft cover, and it includes.
How to meaning how to cook, how to build a fire, like all those things go on that list, so you're really competing with so many different genres, whereas other lists don't have that issue. And it's one of the shorter lists. So I came in number four, which is like insane. And then after speaking with Heather, I'm Jackson, and my agent Marnie and my executive editor at Penguin called me. She's like, they didn't tell you made two lists. I was like, wait what. I also made number ten on
the Business list. So now the Business list comes out once a month and how two list comes out once a week, so I mean both.
And it's just like I.
Mean, when you start to really do the math of how few books make the New York Times Bestsellers List, you just realize that, like the possibility is way more that it's not. Literally, only half a percentage ever make
the list. Over one hundred thousand books come out each year, in less than five hundred get on the New York Times bestseller list, and so I don't know, it just feels very like I don't know if it ought to, but it feels very validating because you know, I came in here as a preschool teacher, and I'm sure that some people are like, well, what do you know. I'm like, well, I mean, according to the New York Times, I know, no, it just feels really good. But you know what actually
feels even better? Well, I don't know if it's better, just different, like the feedback from people. Because one thing I'll tell you about black women. Let me tell you about black women, they do not suffer foolishness, meaning like if the book wasn't good, they would it would be like they would give the nice church cut, okay, baby okay, like if your baby's not cute, and they're like, oh, look at that baby looking like he looking, you know, and so to get the feedback like the overwhelming thank
you so much, this is such an easy read. Somebody finally explained it to me easily. It's just and then to make the Wall Street journalists, not just the Wall Street journal I made number one on their I think it's their business list, and then number four on another Wall Street journalist the USA Today list thirty one, but it's thirty one out of all books being sold, which is crazy. Amazon's seventeen out of all books being sold.
Apple four, the indie booksel so meaning like book that like ourselves sold out of, like you know, like your local bookstore made that list, like every list that is there to be made, I feel like we made it. We made over ten different lists. I just have to say, my team is what I said was and this is what Tracy, my public is in. As she said, you know, if we really look at the work that we put in,
we are deserving of this. But so it's so infrequent that black women get what they're deserving of that were just so shocked because we put in ten and got out ten. Normally, you know, as a black woman, you know, man, you put in ten, you get out seven. You're like, ah, you know, that's just how it goes. You make less, you know, you know, you're not promoted as quickly. It's just becomes part of life that you put in ten,
you get out seven if you're lucky. So to put in ten and get out ten, it's like you feel like you hit the lottery, and it's like it feels like a little bit of justice was done because the team put in ten. Like this is not like luck or happenstance. No, the level of work that they put in this is exactly what which should have come out but so often does not. So I'm just really overwhelmed, like with like it doesn't feel real. Like I had to literally take a walk.
It was just too much.
Like afterwards, I was like I told Superman, He's like, are you okay? I just need to take a walk just to decompress because it just felt like so many of my writer friends are like, girl, I've been I've been writing for twenty years, and you know it's my dream to make the list and for my first like traditionally published book, not to.
Just make the list, but to just do so like with a splash is just girl, I'm.
So oh my god, I feel like, well, let me tell you how I feel about it. I love tell me that's you know, you know, I feel like I've had a like a I don't know, a backseat. I've been in the car behind the car that the budget needs to like train has been pulling for so much for so long, and for me it just feels like of course, I mean, it just feels I've seen the work.
It's not a surprise to me at all. And it's certainly it doesn't feel to me like it was always going to happen, or it it it was a foregone conclusion that was going to happen, Like you put in the work, and I know your team did too. I mean, y'all were talking about promoting this book. You built a whole damn website for the book. You know, you don't
do anything halfway. You never have and everything that you and I'm so glad that you waited to do a traditionally published book until this moment because you focused first on giving people value and building your audience and building trust with them, and you did that. It's like you focus on what mattered first, you know what I mean,
like building the trust, creating value, educating people. Truly, you know what you got into this whole what can we call it a business or this whole field to do and when you were ready, you know, you put out this book and you were ready for the moment. But you you've definitely reap what you sewed all all these years. You know, you planted all those little baby acorn seeds and now it's like a tree or whatever. And on that tree is not just this is like the first
you know, it's just a seedling. I feel like, you know, the tree just going to keep on growing from the past decade of work that you put in and the work of your team as well. And I hope y'all are celebrating. I don't know what the party plans are, but.
Girl, I've been like, uh, okay, who wants a week can the week off? So one of the things I learned is from now like one of our kind of like SOP standard operating procedures for those of y'all not in business then that we're going to integrate is that after a big launch, part of the launch is the week or two or two weeks after that we take off because it's so much you know what I mean, and like we're still doing things. So even though it's not as crazy, we haven't gotten a time to decompress.
A word I've learned from that, like, we're not doing this next time.
The next time it's gonna be like, yay week off, two weeks off, just to give people a chance to like recoup and regroup.
Yeah, I know.
The team has been like literally when the numbers were coming out, and can I guess I'll give you guys, because what it takes to be on the best seller's list, so this is I mean New York Times doesn't give you much, and so this is what people have hypothesized, and it's fairly true. But then at the end of the day, they just decide. So typically you're looking at around ten thousand books. You know, if you sell around
ten thousand books, you know you're on their radar. But people have made the list selling four thousand books, you know, if it's like something they really enjoy, you know, but you just know that at ten thousand you're fairly safe to at least be considered.
So that's one.
Although they're like, there's a smoothie Lady JJ Smith. I think she's got a smoothie book. She sold over a million, so I can only imagine what she sold, but she never she did hurt. That book did not make the list, so it's not just book sales, but it's just to be just to be looked at. Ten thousand books within the first week, and so within the first week includes pre orders. So any book bought, you know, before your book launch and during the first week of book sales
will be considered week one sales. That's why it is, I don't want to say easier, but it is you have a better chance of making it the first week because you can accumulate, you know, like some people will start doing pre sales a year before. I started doing pre sales two months before, so that's one. And so we sold like well over twenty thousand books between twenty
to twenty five thousands. Some numbers are because we also did book order, so depending on when the order went through, it could be up to twenty six thousand book a good amount of books. And I didn't know if that was a lot or little. I'd asked my Heather, you know what is good, what is great? What is unicorn? And if you know me, unicorn means excellent. And so she had told me that good was five, great was
ten thousand, and unicorn was twenty thousand. I said, okay, bet so my mind Mandy I said, were going for Unicorn. So then I was talking to Brian, who is our assistant marketing director from Penguin. So we had weekly meetings for the for the gig Gos Money crew, like we would meet every Monday at one thirty, and so I told Brian.
I was like, oo oho, we did it. We did it. We made Unicorn. And she's like, what do you mean? I said, well, I asked Heather, when we first started, what's good five thousand, what's Grete ten, what's Unicorn twenty thousand? We did it.
She was like, girl, Heather tricked you. I was like, wait, what do you mean. She's like, girl, Unicorn is ten thousand. I was like, wait what she said, yes, girl, She's like, people don't sell ten thousand first week. I said, I called Heather right away. Heather started laughing. She said, but you did it right. She's like, I picked up your personality fairly quickly, tippy. She was like, she said, I realized if I pushed you that she would do it, and so I'm grateful for that. So that was one
sell your ten thousand two Amazon not Amazon. New York Times likes to see that you have sold books from multiple retailers because they want to. They don't if you sold one hundred thousand books but just on Amazon. They're like, no, no, no, no. They like to see that, you know, like you have some Amazon, some Barns and Noble, some Target, so like a mix. So we made it our big business to like market to say, like we had this one marketing like drop a We're like, use.
Your old you know, do you still have that old Target card?
Girl?
Use it to get go with money.
You ain't gonna use it anyway, So we sold out a Target after after dropping those social media posts, Target had to re up.
So that's one.
That's two three. They also like to see that you have some indie book sales, meaning like so one of the things I did was I really partnered with some black owned book bookstores and also some small bookstores where I signed copies there and I gave them Budgetista bracelets to encourage people to support smaller book bookstores. And so
they like to see that. So I was like, Okay, let me make sure that we encourage dream catchers that like, yes, although the smaller bookstore they might not be able to give you the huge discount the Amazon gives you, but the books there are signed, and I gave them my budget needs to bracelets, so you'll get that bracelet there and there.
Cool, and that was like a fun way.
Plus it was just really great to be able to support, you know, these more indie, smaller bookstores, cause that's how they survive. A Fourth thing that they look at is they like to see that there is like national media attention, you know.
So I was fortunate, you.
Know, exactly exactly start to good morn in America twice when the book job, and then today so the next day and then just today I tape the real that's about the book as well, so they like.
To see that.
And then fifth, they like, this is kind of new, like some social media buzz. So what they're looking for, what it seems like is there's some cultural relevance, like do people actually care, you know, like is this a book that people are wanting and needing? And so that's that was just like so that's what that's what people kind of know. But other than that, you know, and
that might even not be fully true. But this is like kind of like if you were to do your Googles, ask your publisher, they would.
Say, like if you do those things.
That's all you can do, you know, Like that's you could just we just did all of those things and just said at the end of the day, though they can just say not you but her, or not not her but you, And just because someone is above me on the list doesn't mean they sold more than me. Like you can literally look up what people sold through
this thing called book scan, like I can't. I mean, if you want to pay for a book scan, you can, but then you might see that like, oh, I actually sold more than the person who's number one, you know what I mean.
Like, so there's no rhyme or reason.
So that's why I think they should like not call it the best sellers list. I don't know, it seems a little yes, I don't think advertising, so.
It feels strange.
So I will say this that, like from what I understand, the USA Today, I don't know how Wall Street Journal calculates BO USA Today is truly like, girl, how many did you sell?
Like that? That list? For sure? So the New York Times bestsellers lists.
Yeah, it's that's why people are like it is there's no they don't they don't give you the algorithm. But this is what kind of what people have deduce. That's why I was like, people are, you're definitely gonna make it. I'm like, it doesn't work like that. I could have sold one hundred thousand books and maybe not made it, you know, So that's why it just makes it like
because it's just a nod. The reason why for me the New York Times Bestsellers List important is because I don't have to explain what that means in this space where I'm already devalued because one I'm a woman and two I'm a black woman.
It's like, okay, it gives me that stamp.
I remember what happened with that you know that conference that we don't know, we no longer name yep, and how you know the founder of that conference, Voldemort said, you know, like I wasn't worth more than twenty five hundred dollars and how that whole like anybody who wasn't brown or other in that community where it's like who she?
She doesn't deserve? How dear she ask? Like that was the sentiment.
And now I'm like, so with this, it's like, don't don't fix your lips to say that like even though I wasn't deserving of that then especially now this translate now you know who I am?
Yeah, you know.
And so it's just a shame that you have to like have these like stamps of approval to be taken seriously. And it's quite honestly one of the reasons why I just speak directly to like, you know, our RBA's you know, because it's hard out there, no streets.
But yeah, so it's just like like I said, it feels good.
And although I am tired of people saying what's next, I'm like, Sis, rest is next.
I'm taking six weeks off, leave me alone.
What I want to know? Where's the party?
How?
Well? Yeah, what what does your rest look like? We talked with like last week with Earn Your Leisure guys, which, by the way, epic show. Go listen, ey l. First of all, all my guy friends and Enrique's my husband's family and friends, like I have so much clout now they actually pay attention. They're like, so you had Earn your Leisure. Okay, so your podcast is like a thing, but yeah we got we got yes, anyway, go check
it out. But on that show, we talked about what's leisure and so what does rest look like for you? What's restaurative you rest restorative to you? And how are you going to recharge? Because you have given so so much in a year, believe, in a year like this, you get like, wait, we didn't even put in that context. You had a bestseller in a pandemonium.
Like TIV you knew that.
I know you did that in a year when no one would have blamed you for putting your head under the pillow and just saying I cannot you Wow, I'm getting tearyoyte. Anyway, I'll answer my question.
Honestly, I would really love to go out so one I'm actually going to pick back up with IVF because I put it to the side. I was like I cannot do this and I have to say it's just not possible. I didn't want, you know, I didn't want to be like all hormonal and like I was already like you know, there's already a level of stress with like doing like the launch and stuff.
So I'll pick it back up with IVF.
I would really like it depends on like where I am with my cycle that I want to go away somewhere. So it's either I'm going to go away somewhere driveable or depending on where I am with my cycle. If I'm able to like go fly somewhere, then I will. I would love to do like I want to do a solo trip. I haven't decided where, but then I also want to do like a trip with hupstar with Superman, and then even like a like a weekend thing, like if it's like a like for example, my friend Rihanna
and I we went to Rhode Island. Remember that time we went to Rhode Island into all the beautiful mansions, like even something like that, like a girl something like that. So I want to do like three different things, one for myself, one for me and hubby, and like something even like a weekend thing for me and my girls. So just to that's like in part because I needed to like see other places.
I need to get out.
I would love to see some blue water if I'm able and I'm allowed based upon where I am in my cycle, and if not, even if not, I'm still going to like go somewhere and like I don't care if it's an Airbnb and I'm like and it's like twenty minutes away, I'm like, everybody leave me alone.
I'm just gonna eat food. And land his bed.
I need like one of those silent retreats.
Yes, oh, just like a wusaw. And also too, I want to reset like I feel like we did it.
Joe like, Okay, Tiffany, you have been working really hard for ten years. And I mean, I will say this that I used to travel a lot. It was really the last two and a half three years because of IVF, I just have not been able to.
But I want.
I was just talking to my sah oh Karen about I'm like, girl, I don't want to do more than two meetings a week, one big meeting for the Literature Academy, one big meeting for the Budgetista.
That's it.
The rest y'all got. She's like, we got it. So I'm really paring down of what I look like hands on because honestly is my team has proven to be amazing. So and I told Tracy of tra CYLJPR on Insta. I was like, sis, honestly because she was like today, She's like, so what about? I was like nope that
I told her. I'm gonna give her like three spots maybe a week to be like, figure out which press you think is most important, but don't pitch me for anything, only things that come in you decide, but slate it for only three spots because I want to I want to navigate differently, like I already take before the launch. I was already taking Wednesdays and Fridays off. Well, Wednesdays I was taking off of meetings and phone calls, and
then Fridays I was just taking off. So I'm gonna we're going back to that by the end of this month. I'll be back to my Wednesdays with no meetings, no phone calls, and Friday's off off because I really don't work on the weekends unless it was like this launch.
So yeah, I want to go back to I don't know.
Like like I was talking to doctor Green and my my coach, last therapist. She said, don't come me a therapist. She's not a therapist, but she is a therapist. She was like, I want you to reset for the woman that you are now because you still operate mentally.
And it's true.
I still think of myself like, you know, I used to be a preschool teacher. It's like, yeah, girl, that was like ten years ago. You're Tiffany the budget Nesta now business owner, wife, stepmother, daughter, aren't like, I want you to be this Tiffany now and stand in that moment.
So I want to reset, to get to who.
I am now, but I want to I want to do less but be more, you know, hmm.
So I'm looking forward to that.
That sounds wonderful. Well, you deserve it, and I'm so so happy for you, and you did it. I mean, I feel like you did it for all of us in a way. And I also I got that I had that phrase in my head from that the IG account unique Jones is that who owns it?
Yes?
Because of them? We can't can't because of you, Tiffany. I just feel like there is so much you gave publishers, I mean and truly because in twenty twenty one, even now, it is very very hard as a woman of color to be taken seriously in the traditional publishing industry. And it's almost like your success because of you, so many other women may get an opportunity that they may not have gotten before. And it feels like, in twenty twenty one, how can there still be trailblazers? You know, we should
have all this figured out, but it's there. You are a trailblazer and so on behalf of just any woman who ever wants to be a published author and have someone take a chance on her. Thank you and you did it. I'm so yeah.
I always feel like we did it.
One of the things I'm like most proud of off is that I can tell Penguin, like those women on the Penguin team like they're going to see black women differently, because you know, my whole team is like sisters and just like and when they would join the call and like literally they were like, you guys are well oiled. And she because it was like ten of us and they said normally when they see someone with a big team, they rolled her. I was like, oh boy, it's about
to be roadblock city. But she was like we literally used to talk around the office about what a joy it was to work with you guys, that we're just here to support you. You tell us what you're doing, and we're like, okay, sure, here you go. And so I love that, you know, because I think it's important, like to break down those stereotypes. I'm like, you know, so if there's that system in the office that you think has an attitude, she doesn't have an attitude.
She's doing her work. She's a bad ass.
Give her a chance, you know, And so I just thought that that was really dope too, that they got to see, like, look look at the power of these amazing black and brown women and what they've been able to do. I mean, honestly, Pengin was like, you know, we could do a case study. I'm like, Sis, we're tired, tired, Yeah, go study your own case.
We're tired. But yeah, so no, but thank you squad. I no, why are you the youth squad?
They're like, Okay, I'm like, I'm like, I promise you guys, We're gonna rotated.
I'm like, who needs a week, who's first, who's most burnt out?
But yeah, honestly, I don't even like that, like that's something like as a leader that I was like, okay, that is a that's something that I'm going to do better, you know, because I was just like I don't like the fact that afterwards, I just felt like we were also drained. I'm like, I'm going to do a better job of like what does it look like we're doing a sop for this to learn? What things do we not have to do? That actually didn't move the needle
and what things did really move the needle? So that way next time we can work less but work more meaningfully.
You know, of course, well you had never done it before, so that as long as in the time to reflect and to pick apart, when you guys are in a better place, when you can look back on it with clear heads and clear minds and clear eyes and all that, that's the exciting part I feel like, is how did this thing happen? But yeah, congratulations, I guess that's that's our whole buzzworthy. Who cares? What else is going on? Congrattive? Get good with money dot com? That's what's next. Go
buy a book, buy a book for a brand. All right, when you take a quick break and be back with you questions. Okba fan, we are back in answering your questions. Reminder, you can now leave us a voicemail or text your question. Just hit us up at eight four four eight five eight eight zero eight zero eight for four eight five eight eight zero eight zero. Try to keep it brief though.
I know lots of you guys have been trying to send us questions and getting caught off by our voicemail, So try to keep it under at least a minute, and if you get cut off or you have a more in depth question, you can still reach us the old fashioned ways on Insta, hit us up via DM or by email. Brand Ambition podcast at gmail dot com. All right, let's get into it. So we have a couple of very good questions from IG today. This one comes from listener Alia. Alia says, I'm a new listener
to the podcast, and I'm learning a lot. I got myself into about ten thousand dollars of credit card debt after moving to a new state and getting married. I make forty eight thousand dollars a year, and due to accidentally contributing a lot to my four oh one K for the first three years in the business, I actually have about seventeen thousand dollars in my four to one K retirement account. Here's the thing, Digging myself out of this debt is like shooting a water gun at a
forest fire. I'm budgeting the best I can, but I'm pretty much supporting myself and my husband while he's in medical school. I really want to withdraw ten thousand dollars from my four to one K to wipe out the debt and start fresh next year when my husband graduates, will have two incomes and want to start our family. And in three to four years he'll be making about six figures on his own. So I trust I'll be financially set in a few years. And I really want
to get rid of this debt. Now, what do you guys think? So ten thousand dollars is weighing on her, which you know, credit card debt. Ten thousand dollars today can be a lot more dollars a year from now, even with the high interest rates. So but I love how she said, though accidentally identally contributed a lot to my former day.
She's like, you know, just so we can sway your thinks because my knees. Your reaction is like says, leave it alone. But I can understand because here's my concern too, because yes, although your husband when he graduates, will be making more money, you will also have more debts, a lot more debt. Because my assumption is, you know, he got loans to go to medical school, and if he didn't, that's awesome.
Yep.
Because here's the thing, it's not just the ten thousand. Because people like to look at the money they put up for retirement as like this flat money.
It's not. It's the compounding interest.
So you have to think that your ten thousand that you have in there earned interest, and then the next year the interest and the ten thousand earns interest, and the next year the interest and the interest and the ten interest, and the next year and the interest, and so you miss out Once you take that money out, you miss out on that interest, on the interest, on the interest. Even if you put it back, you can never get back the money you would have earned on
past interest. It's gone forever and ever and ever. That's why people tell you leave your your retirement money alone. And here's the thing too. I hate to make plans. I guess me, and you know you know how we are, me and Mandy right that we are like worry words. I don't want to make plans on well, in the future, it'll be great, uh pandemic corona corona coro, as Nigerians will say, like so many people had plans about, oh this is what I'm gonna do and then and took everything.
So I don't want you to make plans on for sure, for sure, my husband is going to although it's highly highly likely but as unlikely as as I was gonna say, panteing as as unlikely as quarantine was. Here we are, so, ugh, I is there.
A way maybe?
I mean, I don't know what her credit score looks like, maybe rolling it over to a what are those things? A balanced transfer card? Yeah, you know, we're let's talk about alternatives. Yeah, yes, alternatives. So this is a very common thing. You know, I have some debt, but I have this nest egg.
You know.
Oh oops, I have seventeen thousand dollars. I can just pull out of that. But let's actually talk about like the list of options. So one, yes, your four one K is an option, good or bad. That's left to others to decide, but it's an option. And then yeah, balance transfer card, so talk about that, Tiffany, So a.
Balance transfer card.
This is what I did, honestly when I lost everything. So if you don't know, since you're a new listener, like in two thousand and eight nine ten, big great recession came, I lost everything. It was like three hundred thousand dollars in debt. Thirty five thousand of that was credit card debt. Although I was living off unemployment and on my sister's couch. So one of the ways I was able to tackle that thirty five thousand dollars in
debt was I because my credit card was decent. I opened up a balanced transfer card, a couple of them, honestly, where I took the balance on one card, the card that had interest, and rolled it over to a balanced transfer card. Because my credit card was decent, I was able to get a balance treansfer card. It was like eighteen months interest free, so I had eighteen months to pay down this card with like so all my money would go directly to the principle, directly to the ten thousand,
not ten thousand plus interests. So that helped me pay down that thirty five thousand. It took me like two and a half three years in order to do so. Now it was a strugg but you know it did. And now here's the thing. The reason why you know, what's her name again?
Alia?
Alia? Pretty name. So the reason why I'm like eugh girl is because I'm not here to judge you. Consists.
I took all the money out of my retirement account to try to pay off bills and I didn't get back. So I was thirty twenty nine thirty when I did that. I didn't get back to putting a side for retirement until like four years ago. That sometimes life throws you off track and you might think I'll definitely get back, and so I'm like behind the eight ball. So now I'm trying to catch up. So I'm not saying I from a place to judgement. I'm saying from a place
so I'm here now. I'm forty one years old. I've only been saving for retirement for like four years because of a choice that I made over ten years ago. So I just it just makes me a little bit nervous. But there's you know, you have to do what's best for you. But I would consider alternatives before touching my retirement money.
Yeah, absolutely, So a balance transfer credit card is definitely a good option if you have good credit, so like six eighty and above, and you can honestly google to see if there's any good balance transfer options available to you. Also, you know, applying for a small loan like a personal loan through a credit union or an online bank at
a fixed interest rate. So that gets at the really the terrible thing about credit card debt is it has not only really high interest rates, but it also has revolving interest rates or variable interest rates rather, which means that they can change whenever they want to change the rates, they can go up, and they usually do go up.
It's never really in your favor. So with a personal loan, you know you could take it a loan, you know exactly what your rate's going to be, and it's fixed, it's not going to go up, and you know you get your You can choose how long you have to pay off the loan. It can be a couple of years, a few years, and you know what exactly you're getting. Yes, you're paying interest, but at least it is a known
entity in a quantity. To your point about to what she says about shooting a water gun at a forest fire, I mean, ten thousand dollars is a lot, okay, and it's credit card debt, so it is, Yes, that is a lot of credit card debt, but is it a forest fire?
Like?
I don't know if I would be. It doesn't. It's doable. You seem very financially conscious. I mean, you married a boo who's going to be a doctor, so that was great, and you seem like you've got a great career going on. So I feel like you can tackle this, you really can without necessarily needing to dip into your four to one K. And we should also talk about, you know what Tiffany said about missing out on the compounding interest.
You also may face tax penalties when you withdraw from your four to one K if you're under a certain age limit. I think it's like fifty nine and a half, So there could be an additional loss there, not just from you know, stock market gains that you're missing out on by taking that ten k out, but also just tax penalties for early withdrawals. And it differs a little
bit depending on how you take the money out. So we can post a link to an article about the difference between a four h one k loan, which is when you borrow from yourself and then you pay yourself back. I've actually done that before and I'm a fan. The risk there is if you were to leave your job, you would immediately owe that money back. So there's risks
and there's pros to to all these different things. But ten ten k, I feel like that's a small enough amount to wear a couple of balance trendsfer credit cards or personal loan. You know, you can tackle that, and you can still be letting that seventeen K little nest egg that you've grown accidentally, which is great. You know, I wish be more people accidentally say for retirement, Yeah, you've just let that continue to grow. And honestly, trying to predict the future in terms of where you think
you're going to be financially, I don't know, man. I just say I think your sense of urgency to get rid of it now while you have where, while you're able to work and you've got an income, and you've got options, I would say, you know, do it now, but maybe not with the same like with me, but maybe not going to that like nuclear option of taking money out of your form on and K first. Yeah, and tips right that your husband's going to ask some student loan, so y, yeah, he'll have enough going on
even if he does earn six figures. All right, Well, I'm going to post a link definitely in the show notes about the difference between four to one K loan and withdrawal, because I think they get very often confused. And some of the other options, you know, other than going into your four one K, like we talked about balance transfer cards, personal loans, you have other ways to pay on the debt. But thanks for your question.
Yeah, question, all right.
Second question, This one's going to be near and dear to Tiffany's heart, probably as it comes from a teacher. All right, So this listener wants to remain anonymous because she works at a school, so let's call her Jane. Jane says, help, I work at a growing charter school as a leader. I'm afraid of backlash if I leave the charter school because it is no longer conducive for my life as a parent. However, the culture is sometimes unfortunately like they will try to negotiate to keep you.
I'm struggling with the stress. I have great potential to grow my career, but is it worth all that? Do I have to feel the need to climb the ladder when I know it's going to impact my ability to be mentally and physically present for my growing family? Should I stay or leave? I have a job offer making the same salary for another school. What do y'all think, Jane?
Run No so as somebody who you know was a teacher, but I am also very familiar with the charter school.
H How do you so hustle?
It's really intense Mandy, like, think about school, but then add corporate America. Like all of my friends who work for charter schools, it's a lot like I've had a number of friends who leave. You know, it's you know, if you're a brand new teacher and you've never worked in a teaching environment before, and you don't know that there's like other ways than it could be all right. But I remember, even when I was just gonna, I was gonna do an after school program at a charter's, Mandy.
I was like, is this jail? They were so strict the way they talk to the kid.
I mean, not all try to schools, obviously, because I've definitely seen some amazing ones, But so I can imagine the environment that she's talking about. It's very it feels very corporate what I imagine, I guess corporate America, meaning like but not in the good way.
You know, like, these are your expectations. We need to stay late.
We need you to sell Jane sis Sis as someone who is team doing too much. Don't come up to this side. It's not cute over here. I'm trying to go over to you know, doing less. So I would suggest to you, especially it's not like you're saying, should I quit? And I don't know how I'm going to feed my family? You literally are going to replace your income with comparable income and a better emotional and mental
space for yourself. No, always choose yourself and your family first, and you know you have something that you're going to be able to still maintain what you bring into the household. Don't like running up a corporate or whatever ladder at school. I get all that, but is that where you even want to go?
You know what I mean?
Like, it doesn't make sense to be the best at the worst thing like that. There's nothing worse than being successful at the thing you hate. You're like, oh, great, have more, this is great? Yeah, yeah, so that's.
She doesn't hate the sorry interrupt God, doesn't sound like she hates necessarily what she's doing, but where she's doing it exactly? And get I get the question here. It seems like they'll try to negotiate to keep you. So when she goes to them with this, you know the fact that she has a job offer at another school, they may just try and throw money at her to
keep her around. It just depends on what you value more, do you and and think about how much more they're going to be giving you, and just spread that out, spread that out over however many paychecks a year that you get. Sometimes on paper a raise can sound a little bit better than it is, you know, after taxes and after you spread it out over the year, just really think about it, and and you just check in with what you value, you know. I think that's when
people get clear about what they value. Do you value your mental health and your ability to be present for your family over dollar signs and what people think about you. I kind of get the sense that you know the answer to your question just based on what you're asking us.
And as a mom, I would say anything that threatens your mental health threatens your child's mental health as well, because they're not getting the mom or the parent that they deserve, Like you can't be one hundred percent emotionally and mentally present for them. And I'm not about that life. Everything I do that makes myself better, I'm doing it so I can be a better person to be around
for my child and for my family. And that just when I got clear about that being a value, it made all my career and financial and any choice really just so much easier so it's not. It seems like you do know your values, and it's almost like you want us to say it's okay to value that stuff. It's okay, it is, yes, fuck the latter, because you know, we live.
In this society, you know, Mandy. Everything is go go, go, hustle, hustle, hustle, you know, and I fall victim to that sometimes. But it's like, at the end of the day, it's only cute for a two second post on Instagram and then you have to actually live the real life, you know, like so I promise.
Got promoted team no.
Sleep dying over here, like no Sleep.
So yeah, it sounds like you know, like like Manna said, it sounds like you know, you know what you're wanting to do, and you're just wanting to be like, is it okay what you think is like, am I wrong for not being quote unquote ambitious. No, it's not lack of ambition. You are allowed to say, you know, this is not the environment I want to work in. Although I do love teaching, I want to work in a
different environment. That's why, honestly, I left the school system because I love teaching and it was making me hate to because I just didn't feel like it was conducive to the way that I wanted to show up for the people that I was serving. And at first I was like, I'm never going back to teaching again.
I hate it.
And then I was like, oh wait, I actually really loved teaching. I just didn't love within the confines of where I was working. So you are allowed to You are allowed to take your dream. It's like take your ball and go home. You're allowed to take your dream and go someplace else where you feel at home.
A man's sister friend ash check fuck away.
I like that Amen's sister friend.
I'm putting it on a T shirt. All right, Well, thank y'all again for your questions. Again, you can hit us up on Insta, on email, or you can text or leave us a voicemail a brief ish voicemail, and we'll put the number for our voicemail in the show notes. So check it out and can't wait to hear from y'all.
And now it's time to boost a break A boost a break. Is you gonna boost? Is he gonna break? What you're gonna do, What you're gonna do, what you're gonna do?
Mandy, Oh well, let me get to my notes, because I wrap to write stuff down these days, because that's what the world has come to. Oh my goodness. Well, I'm gonna do a boost for myself because we well a boost and a break. I will boost the fact that we made a parenting decision today Rio in daycare. Oh my god, we made two big parenting decisions. I have to say my dog, Molly. Y'all have an heard about Molly, Poor Molly. No one even asks about her.
About Rio.
I mean, Molly, we still about Rio like my phone. The phone. Like the phone is not even a competition the number of photos of the baby versus the dog. But anyway, Molly is in a six week intensive dog training program. Yeah, so we made that big decision. We decided to give her. We just she's a rescue and anyone who's you know, has adopted a rescue. It was my first time adopting my having a dog on my own as an adult period, let alone a rescue animal.
I underestimated how much time and how much skill you need to have to be a dog owner. It's not easy. You can't just get them and give them treats and they're perfect. So anyway, she's in training, and we're yeah, so Rio, we decided this summer is it, We're going to put him in daycare. A lot of people are getting vaccinated here in New York, and it seems safe kids. I have friends, you have kids, and they've been in daycare for months, if not the past year, and they've
been okay. And honestly, my house and.
Not take it, y'all, Like this little tornado what I tell you. I'm like, he just needs he just needs an open field, maybe like you know, with like a mile long treadmill and just let him run, you know.
So I am very very excited. I was like, can you imagine how much cleaner the house would be if he, like, for eight hours a day just was fucking up someone else's roun Like, I'm so excited, But beyond that, I'm just excited for him to interact with other children. We've had a couple of like test playdates with cousins of trusted family, and he's so cute and bossy, and he like takes all the big kids toys and he he
he clearly is loving like playing and interacting. So I'm doing that and there's there goes my my two thousand dollars a month for daycare, which sucked. So today we went and put down that deposit. But it felt it felt like a real parenting decision that I made, So you know, that's good. Yay, and thank you to all of our child care providers and across the country for keeping our baby safe. And what I wanted to also boost was a cute little story that I read about
a young girl I think she was seven. Did you see that she wrote a letter to Old Navy as part of like a class project. No, she wrote a letter to Old Navy asking them, can you please put real pockets on the girl pants? Because I don't think all their pants have no pockets, but some of the girl like leggings or jeggings that she had been that she had didn't have real pockets. And Old Navy's product team sent her a letter back, excuse me, and with a lot of with the with some actual genes with
real pockets too, and it was really cute. So shout out to Karen is that her name or Cameron Gardner for writing the essay. It reminded me of Megan Markle and how she like one of the first one of my favorite stories about her is how she wrote a letter to like a dish soap company.
Yeah, I remember that because I only.
Had women or something doing dishes. Yeah, so a little Megan Markle on the making.
Yes, I love that.
Well, I'm going to all break. So we lost DMX, I know, so.
Does it remain take it heard?
No, But it's just so crazy because you don't I didn't realize just how much of a role you know, like when DMX came out, he was a force, you know, like a force, and he changed the landscape of music and my high school and college years is just was like DMX just you just hear how other people talked about him, just like how you know, although obviously he had his own demons, just the lover of spirituality that he possessed and how it felt to be around him.
He was imperfect in all ways and he you know, was clear about that, but he was clear that he was fighting to be better that you know, he suffered an immense abuse as a child and so as a result, it was reflected in some of his life choices. But you know, it's sad to hear, you know, someone passing that's left an imprint.
And so yeah, I just wanted.
To like say like, yeah, it was just like, oh, man, I was listening to his music, I'm like, wow, this is a man tormented but as also at the same time joyful and so many young brothers that I said. It was like, Yo, he's the first time I thought like, wow, I can like believe in God and it's not some corny stuff, you know what I mean, Like because DMX was very open with his like beliefs, and he was like a real dude, you know, quote unquote, like you know, no one would ever say DMX is soft.
He wasn't putting on.
That was just him from Yonkers, like that's that was how he behaved cameras on or off. And yet you saw him dancing to Michael Jackson and jam and you saw him holding his daughter's hand when you know, they went on a roller coaster and she was so scared.
I mean, he just was so right. That was cute.
I felt a little embarrassed, Like that was the first thing I thought. I was remember that clip.
You know, he's like I got you here, that is here.
But he sound like his normal DMX voice olf and you were like, oh, he always talks like that, So yeah, just like you know, there just seems to be a lot of loss and then another loss too. I know it's kind of a downer, but I don't know if I remember if you asked me before, but I've been using this skincare company called the butter Bar Skincare.
Oh yeah, you talked about them because they were featured on Target or something like that, like a black business brand of Target. Did I make that up anyway? Yes, you've mentioned.
But I love the butter Bar, like I got really sensitive skin, and when I tell you, everything breaks me out, like I can just think about it and it breaks me out. And so the young woman who started the butter Bar, her name was Kimberly. She passed away, Kimberly Chloe Wilson. I'm not sure from what it seemed like she was battling some illnesses, but she leaves behind four small children and a husband. And I'm not gonna lie.
It hit me kind of hard because I thought to myself, this is a woman, you know, she created this amazing business that was really blowing up. When I tell you her her stuff, She's got this melanin drops transformed my skin Like people were like, what are you using like my Leela, who does my makeup. It's always like whatever you're using, continue because you know, no one sees your skin like your makeup artists, you know. And so yeah,
so apparently she's been struggling. I'm not sure what the illnesses were, but she'd been struggling with them for some time and she recently had like back to back strokes as a result. And she was a young woman and she didn't she didn't make it. And so it was just a reminder of like, you know, as a fellow business owner, you know, and not to say she did this. It seemed like she lived like a more balanced life
than I do. But it's just a reminder of like, yeah, what it's all said and done, Like what's really really important? You know? Yeah, That's why I was just like Tiffany, you've got this. You know, you have this big check mark that you checked off. Like your dreams and goals it's okay, Like they're not going anywhere. Sis, Like you could pick that up later, Like I need you to relax, rejuvenate,
like reconnect. These dreams will be here and you don't you don't have to pursue them with every bit that you have in you can save bits for other things. So it's just a re reminder of that, you know that life is shortened.
We just we really don't.
Know when or how or why, and but you want that when it is your turn, you can really look and say, you know, well done in all aspects of your life.
So well that business continue, I believe.
So, So if you're wanting it's my butter bar skin, that's at that's their ig. It looks like it will because I know and she obviously had a team, so it looks like it will. They've been posting like videos and things of her and you know, like, honestly, this stuff is just amazing.
It's not cheap. I'm not gonna lie.
The first time I brought it, I was like, okay, it's this, but I mean transform my skin, you know, within a few weeks. Like I said, for someone who has highly sensitive skin, I can't even use certain chapsticks as my lips blow up. So yeah, for it to be all natural, I keep it's all natural. Like literally, you keep her stuff in the refrigerator when you're ready to use it.
So yeah, that was it.
Well, rest in peace. What's her name? Kimberly Kimberly Chloe rest in peace, and my heart goes out to her family. And I am going to go get some butter bar right now, right now, I'm skincare obsessed. These days, I've been looking on my name face way too long on zoom day after day. That's not a downer, I mean it's nice. I mean we have to pay respects, all right, all right.
DMX, Yes, hopefully you guys have it amazing week. We will see you next week. Do we have a guest next week?
We do not have a guest next week, but stay tuned because we have some really exciting guest co hosts coming up. When Tiffany's you know, off on her rejuvenation vacations plural, we are still going to be going strong, So we're getting our ducks in a row. And also just quick shout out to the Nineteenth. They're hosting us at their virtual sum at April twenty nine, so we'll
post a link to where you guys can register. It's a free virtual summit all about how you can bounce back from the COVID nineteen pandemic and the impact to your finances.
Yeah, I can't wait. I can't wait another minute all Right, bestseller, al Rightmandra until next week
Until next week,