Hey, hey, hey, we're black, We're back.
Sorry interruptive. Could you come as close to the mic as you can?
Okay, let me put it up.
Oh, should have asked you earlier.
All right, all right, all right is this better?
That is a little bit better? Yes, okay, all right, okay, go for it.
Hey, Hey, hey.
We're black. We're back. We're brand and beauty. Hey, Mandra, what's up?
You're really just like save those notes tonight?
I was I felt I was feeling very I don't know, like melancholy.
Only it has been a dreary, dreary January. We have to we have to talk about what happened with Kobe Bryant. Oh my god, that story. It is just it's crushing. It just it was like blow after blow yesterday. I you know, first first it's the you know, you see the news, and I thought it was a hoax.
I like, like many people did, could not. I was like, this is not true.
And then when that became real, and then you learn additionally that it was his daughter, and then then the other family.
On the helicopter.
I mean, I honestly had to take a moment and just stop looking at stories about it because.
My mommy, my new mama.
Nerves are too shot for this, Like I just it's too It just makes you want to hug and squeeze everybody and never let them get out of your sight.
I don't even know how to because, like you said, to your point, when I first heard about it, I was like, what kind of crazy joke is that? And then there was like news circulating that all his daughters were on the flight with him, and I was like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
You know that was sad too, just how fast people wanted to cover the story. And then dissudation got out there.
And it was like quote unquote reputable news outlets saying things that weren't true. They were saying Rick Fox was on the flight and all all this stuff, and I'm like what what what?
It just was like, you know what slowed down from a moment.
From trying to be the first ones to say, you know that I heard that the police reprimanded TMZ for sharing about Kobe before his family even knew.
Can you imagine.
I when when you know, because TMZ is when he first broke it, and I was like, this only happened a couple hours ago. I pray to God that the family knew before they saw it, like, I mean, can you know?
And they said they didn't.
They did it for real, they found out.
Well that's what they got.
They said that I don't know, like maybe I don't know if his wife maybe have known, but that before, like the family was. The police reprimanded them because this is this is not like you know, President Dump's crap that you're just posting.
This is someone's life and death, you know.
And for to steal that moment from a mother to sit down, to have to tell your children that news is already the most I can only imagine the most traumatic, you know, news ever that you're dealing with your grief and you have to sit down and tell your your
young children that their father and their sister's gone. And then to not even have that in your control, that someone in the media would steal that from you and they have to find out from the headlines or from their social media or wherever they found out just keeps getting sadder.
Well have you been, I know we haven't been. You guys have been having a few reruns and I know.
You guys missed us. That's why we back.
We skipped it.
You know, it felt like a long break. We were only off a week, I know, right, it felt like weeks.
Wasn't it just a week?
I don't know.
My time my time element is.
All out of whack. But yeah, we took a little bit.
Of an unexplained break you guys. As you know, I just had a baby in November, and I know I joked about it, but I really did think I would be ready to come back to the show when we did right after the new year. And this show means a lot to me personally, and I know Tiffany as well, and we love coming to you guys every week, and it feels like I get very attached to that promise that there will be a new show from us, you know, almost every week, and there has been for four and
a half years now. But I really ran into some coping, just some problems coping with all the changes since I had the baby. Just it really got to me the past couple of weeks.
And while I.
Feel like I have tons of support, I have family and friends who have been really helpful to me, I needed to take a little bit of a step back and just focus on my own mental health and focus on this highly complex, little tiny human being that I have to figure out out like I'm cracking some kind of cod every hour of every day, and just focus on my baby and on me. And so I asked Tiffany if she would be okay if we take a little bit of a break, and yes, you were kind enough to say yes, and.
I say hell no, no, of course I said no.
I told Mandy that, like you know, even in the best of circumstances, having a baby is traumatic.
It just is.
It's trauma to the body, trauma to your emotions, trauma to your heart, your soul.
It's just new.
So I think that people forget that when a baby's born, it's not just a baby that's being born.
A parent is born too.
Especially you know obviously with your with your first and everyone's trying to figure it out.
And that to take as much time as you need. There's no there's no.
Ticking time clock about. You have to know and figure it out by this time. And just I told Mandy, honestly, take as much time as you need. And you know, you guys have been awesome. I'm sure you guys have been hitting Mandy up and giving her like some mommy advice those of you who are moms, and yeah, I just feel like, you know, it's such a special time. And I don't think the pressure we give so many moms to like be on point, be so sharp, be like why no.
Even from it's not even from society, was pressure I put on myself too, to just be normal, like be my old self really quickly. And I in some ways I did feel like my old self, but I underestimated how honestly, what I what I will say about so far with the newborn stage is it really just strips you bare and exposes every issue you ever had and
makes it really hard to hide it. So my problems with anxiety that I've pretty much had my whole life, through college, whatever, my career always kind of dealt with anxiety issues. Whereas before I could turn on an audiobook and you know, get my mind off of my worries and go to sleep at night, I was literally just laying awake all night long having really scary thoughts about my baby, which were really scary. But I'm doing I'm you know, I'm doing really well, and I don't want
anyone to worry. As you guys know, one of the first things I did when I found out I was pregnant would start looking for a therapist who specializes in working with new moms. I think at the time I knew I would need a soft place to land, and I'm really proud of myself for having that forethought of I need to have this in place, this this safety blanket, the security system in place for myself, because nothing would have been like if I had had to find a
whole new therapist through the fog I was in. There was no f like I could hardly find time to use the bathroom every day, you know, let alone start googling, you know, therapists in my area. So I continued talking to my even though I didn't see her as often. I still you know, called and texted my therapist when I felt like I was really hitting the wall and
we were still I'm in the middle of it. I don't even want to pretend like I'm done, you know, I'm I feel like I was just telling Tiffany, I'm in this fog, and it feels like what was different is two weeks ago. It didn't seem like the fog was ever going to end. Oh shit, I'm gonna kind of emotional start, right, Amandra. On the plus side, this is the first time I've cried in two weeks, so that's that's a way. But it's the fog two weeks ago was opaque and now it feels like there's light.
And I think the reason is one. I'm you know, getting.
Help that I need. And I told my mom. It was really hard to tell my mom for some reason, till my mom told my sister, told my family and just let them know, Hey, I'm really struggling. So while you're asking me for pictures of the baby all day long, just know that on the other end of this phone, I'm a hot mess, and check in with me too. And that really helped, just to let people know that
I needed their support as well. And I've just been being really open about it and so seeing therapists and and I wanted to shout out some resources that have really helped me just really quick. You know, therapy is not the only thing that I've been turning to of all.
Also spent a lot of late nights on Reddit. I might have mentioned read it before, but there's a yeah, there's a subreddit called Beyond the Bump, and all the moms on there are just so great and at three am when you're just like, you know, you're nursing the baby and you're delirious. It's really been my little comfort to go there and just hear other women share what they're going through and feel completely seen and feel like
nothing I'm going through is unusual. And then there's a book that I want to you know, I love a good book. I just gave one of my one of my friends who's having a baby next week. I just gave her this book and I'm going to give it to every new mom ever. And it's called and for anyone who knows a new mom out there, this is an amazing gift. It's called Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts.
And it was actually written by people in the mental health industry and haze industry who have mental who have experienced dealing with moms with postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression, and it is just.
It's it's literally just a illustrated book that.
Kind of goes through all the crazy things that are not I hate to say crazy, but all the thoughts totally normal but can be scary thoughts I kind of go through your mind and again it just made me feel so seen and like I wasn't actually unusual in
any way and really comforted me. So those two things plus the fact that I have like my great therapist, Hey Laura, who's been it's been really supportive, who calls and texts and has been really approachable, and she was the one who freaked me out and was like, there's you can't you can't wait to figure it, you can't wait to attack this. You have to call your mom right now. You have to call in reinforcements right now, ask for help right now. There's no time to wait.
You cannot do this alone. She's just staring at me, and I'm staring at her, and I'm like, oh, you're worried. Okay, Okay, if Laura is worried, then I'll get it together.
Yeah.
No, but I love that, like I love that you. When I saw you the text, I was really because I could hear it in your voice before, like you know, because it's a lot like you know, and I could hear it before, and I just but I also know you're like really like a doer and a complet you know what I mean, And so I was like, I didn't want you to think, I mean even that's why from the beginning, I didn't want you to think that, like, as much as the podcast means to me, I.
Wanted you to know that, like you, I want you to be okay.
There is no podcast without you, you know, and that you need to be okay.
I mean, and I'm so glad that you asked for help and said enough.
And that's why I tried, you know, whenever I reached out to you to see how you were doing, because I just remember, I just just was thinking of all the feedback that I got from previous friends and my sister when you know, when they first had their baby, and how they felt like no one ever asked about them.
It was always like the baby, the baby, And so I tried to.
And so I tried that whenever to be like how you doing, mano, you know, like I don't even know if I really asked about the baby, because I'm like, I'm sure everyone else is, because I was just trying to be mindful of.
You know, I get it.
You know, this is brand being and everyone's excited, but it's like, oh what about mom, you know, like you've
gone through a lot. So I'm just glad you asked for help and that you shared with us because it's not easy, and it's good for someone who might be going through it to know that they're not alone and how they're feeling is how and how they're feeling is normal, and people feel like this, and you know it's okay and necessary to ask for help and ask for a reprieve and just to share like I'm not okay, Like I think that's what you said, and I was just so proud of you, like I'm not okay.
Yeah, and I really I wasn't. And every day it's I check in them like is this okay? And how am I feeling? And just trying to be honest about it. And I think it's like I said, the difference between now and then, and why I felt strong enough to do the show today is that I know that there it will get better, that this isn't always going to be as hard as it is now, and that there is light and there's a lot to be grateful for.
And I'm just trying to be a little bit easier on myself stead of pushing myself to be exactly who I was, you know, two and a half months ago, just to this is the new normal, and I've got to figure out, you know, and just be honest with where I'm at today. I'm changed and I'm still figuring out all the different ways that I'm different, but hopefully it'll be all for the better. And of course I love mister Rio.
He is a delight.
Every blowout diaper is a gift. Yeah, So thank you all.
And that is.
Our extremely depressing intro for the show.
It's good, good, No, that's good. I think that this was great and people needed to hear it.
And we're back. We're back, and.
If we take a little break in the next few weeks, you know why.
So all the love and encouragement you guys can send, I appreciate it. And of course, Tiff, you're my I'll still talk. We'll still talk even though we're not doing the show. Love you very much and thank you for doing so. Next time I see you, go bang, I'm going to cash them on that hug. Get ready for letting go?
Do you want to take some questions? I feel like we haven't had questions in so long. I'm sure we've got some poles up. I love answering questions from the listeners, so let's have all right.
I checked out our Instagram. You guys can always hit us up. We're at brandabision Podcast on Instagram with your questions. You can also email us if you want to be old school Brandivisionpodcasts at gmail dot com or check out our website brandivision podcast dot com and click ask us anything to hit us up there. Let's take one from a Oh the Tender Age of twenty two listener. Will
keep her anonymous. She says, I love the podcast. My boyfriend and I are twenty two years old and still in college, but we're hoping to get married within the next couple of years and want to start saving for a wedding. What do you think is the most efficient way to do it? Should we save in a highyeld savings account or should we invest and withdraw the money when we're ready?
Good? How many years, she says? Do you thinks she's going to get married?
She says the next couple years, So not looking at us super tight or super long timeline here.
If it's a couple of years meaning too or under, probably would do hot yield right. But I remember because my sister when she got married, but she knew she had I think it was like five or six years because like he was going to medical school. But anyway, she invested and she bought stock, and I forgot how much she put in, but she bought Tesla when it.
Was like thirty dollars a share, so it was tremendous and so, you.
Know, and I think she put like fifteen hundred dollars in or two thousand, and I remember by the time she was ready to get married and she sold the stock, she had.
About thirty thousand dollars.
So but that's because she had time, you know, for that stock or like you know, all her other investments to kind of grow. So I feel like if it's two years, I likely would put it someplace where you have you're a little bit more liquid because.
You don't really have a ton of time to ride the wave should things drop.
But if you had more than like maybe four years, then you know, I might look into putting it.
And I probably wouldn't have put into stock. I mean, she tried it. She was lucky, quite honestly.
Not single stock.
She was exactly maybe like you know, an an index fund.
Exactly, that's what I would put it into. Honestly, I had more than a few years and.
An index index fund. Just to remind you, it just means that instead of investing in one company like Tesla, you get to invest in a bunch of different companies and that just spreads your investment over it spreads your risk out and typically you'll see returns that that kind of average out over all those companies returns, not just like one company doing really well won't make.
Or break you. Yeah, and I totally agree. I chose to save.
In a high yield savings account and I think if you just have a couple of years, that makes perfect sense and be real. And I would say, you're twenty two, so you know, think about what's a realistic wedding cost for you guys, Like I would, I would set a target for how much you can afford to spend on your wedding and keep it realistic to where you are in your lives. You know, getting married at twenty two
you're straight out of college. And I just would hate for you guys too, if you have student loan debt to also take on a bunch of you know, wedding expenses, trying to have the big, mega wedding of your dreams. If that ends up being your dream that you know, you look at the price tag of what you want and it's astronomical, and you guys don't see how you can get there in two years.
I would say, why not? Wait? I mean, your life is your life.
But if the dream wedding is what you want, you know, putting it off for a few years so you can save more. Nothing wrong with that. You know you're still so young? Do I sound like an old Buddy Duddy?
Until you said buddy Duddy?
What a kid say?
Okay, No, I know, Okay, boomer, that's what I am.
No cap. I don't even know what that means. Somebody tell me what does no cap mean? Let me ask LUSA.
I don't know.
I was just really proud that I dug up. Okay, boomer, I guess instead of boomer, it's like, okay, older millennial, that's how I feel.
Oh yeah, I mean yes, like I said, you said, Fuddy Dady, I was with you.
I was with you. No.
I think that's really great advice and congratulations on finding love.
All right, Let's take our next question from Let's say her name is Faith, just making that up?
Okay?
Her question is about her children? So she has four children ages seventeen, fifteen, eight and seven. I really don't want my children to end up in a tough financial predicament like I am in, and I want to set them up for a success. I was thinking of somehow setting up investment accounts for each one and starting to put money in each Hopefully over the years they will grow and by the time they're adults or older adults, they will have a nice nest egg they can continue
to invest. How or what is the best way to go about doing this? Should I meet with a financial advisor. I know nothing about investing, really, so I wouldn't even know where to start.
Well, this is actually a really good question I wanted to pull up. So I just was talking with my angelie, who's my financial planner, and she had me transferred. I honestly had, like all the kids in my life, like my my godson, my nieces, and my nephew, I had their money basically saved in a high yield Savans account.
And she was like.
Girl nine, so she put money, she invested the funds for me, and I was trying to figure out like where she said, because I wanted.
To give you the exact words that she said.
She said, Uh, since the kids are young, I think the allocation is one hundred percent equity's reasonable for their age.
Oh yeah, okay, this is what she said.
I would like to keep their allocation simple, meaning when she said one hundred percent equity, that means she's investing all of their funds in basically like stocks, but like a combination. But I'll tell you exactly what she put it in. She said, I would like to keep their allocation simple. Hence I planned to use two Vanguard ETFs. Remember Mandy talked about ETF earlier, a total US market and a total international market, meaning that she's going to
put the kids funds into a Vanguard. Vanguard is a company and they have ats, which are these collection of stocks or bonds. But she's picking the collection of stocks, and stocks are more risky. Because the kids are really young, we can afford to put all of their money in like kind of like riskier investments because you have a higher potential for a higher yield.
And she was like, you know that.
She's putting them into the total market, total US market and total international market funds. So what you can do with ets is you can find funds that mimic what the US market looks like. And also funds that mimic like what the like with like the NASDAC or whatever. So you can find funds that mimic what with markets around the world look like. So if the US market stocks go up, so does your fund. If the US
market stocks go down, so does your fund. And so that's when that's what she said, and she said something I think that was really great too.
She said, when we have.
Market volatility, you'll see this account swinging a lot more than your respective account. So the accounts for myself and my husband, it's okay as long as the funds will be kept in for a long time horizon.
Now super super disclaimer disclaimer.
Remember Angelie is my financial planner, and so she's paid to give me personal financial advice, and so disclaimer is that, like you know, you have not paid Angelie, so you know that advice is not professional advice specifically tailored for you, faith or anyone listening. But I've just given you an example of what I'm doing, and certainly we welcome you to reach out to a financial planner on your own
to get specifically tailored advice to you. But just know that for the younger kids especially, you know, there's some room to be a little bit more aggressive with the whatever investments you've set aside for them. And for the older kids, there's still a lot of room too because honestly, seventeen eighteen, that's still very young. It depends on when you are expecting them to be able to basically cash
in on that. But I definitely would sit down with the financial planner and at least you have some thing like to discuss and you can bring some ideas to the table where you think you'd like your money to go for your kids. But kudos for thinking in advance.
That's awesome. Faith.
Yeah, definitely, And she also questions, you know, should I do a CD if I don't feel ready to invest? You know, a CD is a viable option. I mean with rates going down right now, though I don't know. You definitely with the CD, it's a more conservative investment, which means you're not going to be earning potentially as much as you could if you were to invest in
the market. But what I would say, because your kids, some of them are older, So you have a seventeen and a fifteen year old, they're you know, depending on how or when you want them to tap into this fun you have to think about how much time you have in front of you. And if that, you know answer, is not very much time, maybe a CD makes sense. Maybe if it's a lot of time five plus years,
maybe investing in the market makes more sense. Seeking out help from a financial advisor is probably a good place to start if you want to, you know, figure out what's the different approach for each of your children based on their ages. So like Tiffany's, that can make a lot of sense. And again we are not financial experts,
just sharing what's worked for us. And I want to do a quick segue because someone else asked on an earlier episode when I talked about saving for my son, who I obviously is very tiny, very very young, starting to think about how to save for him. I mentioned on an earlier show that I was going to do an ira, and I chose an ira over a five two nine plan, and this listener TONI or I wanted to know why did I choose a roth ira instead of a five to two nine plan. The only thing
that I uh. One of the benefits of a roth ira is that they don't necessarily have to use the funds for education. So I feel like that offers more flexibility. Not that I don't hope that my son will go to college one day, you know, but he might get a scholarship or a full ride. I mean, if you know, hopefully, if he takes after his mama, he'll be very smart. And I don't want to have to have those funds
tied up. You could use the funds and like, uh, you know, give them to another family member, but again they have to use it, at least for now, for some kind of education. So for me, roth Ira makes more sense. But they're both you know, reasonable ways, good ways to invest in your child's future. You just have to kind of think about what's best for you.
Yeah, I agree.
I always feel like, I mean, I feel like these days five to nine plans it just feels a little bit like ah, because I just don't know ten years from now how relevant traditional college is going to be, and I would hate to tie my money up in such a way that it can only be used. Well, the good thing about five to nine plans it doesn't
just have to be used for college. It could be used for education across the board, so like you can even use it for like like high school or if your middle school costs some money, or even from what I understand, even daycare these days, because they're understanding that education is going to look different years from now.
But still it makes me a little nervous. I'd rather put my money elsewhere for my little one.
So yeah, so that was just some good, so good updates.
Brown booths, brown bray. What you're gonna do, what you're gonna do? Well, they come for a boo, what you wanna do.
I'm gonna do a boost. I'm gonna go first.
Yeah, go ahead, I'll volunteer if you guys can ignore the sound of my very unhappy child in the background. I on Last Lame the last episode talked about taking advantage of some different like options to simplify my life, So like getting groceries delivered through Amazon Prime.
It's been awesome.
I tried out a new service for the past week called Freshly, which is not they don't you know, not an adorse, it's an endorsement. We're not getting paid, but Freshly actually sends.
You meals that are already cooked.
You just have to heat them up and they're like prepared by chefs and healthy and balance and all that jazz, and it's been amazing so far. I feel only a little bit lazy, but who cares. I don't have time to cook and clean up dishes and all that stuff. And it's nice to eat food that's not like a healthy choice or you know again, another peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That was how I sustained myself for the first six weeks. I'm telling you postpartum peeb and Jay's y'all.
So it's called Freshly, and there's all kinds of promo codes. So the cost is for twelve meals. I got for ninety two dollars, which is a lot less than what I was paying to have lunch every day at the office, like fifteen dollars for lunch every day. This comes out to less than I think eleven dollars per meal with
the promo code. So I'd recommend it, and there's other services like it, so if you guys, it's I think it'd be great for anyone who's on maternity leave, or even if you're like recovering from a surgery, or you know someone like say you know someone who had an operation recently or for whatever reason, they can't get around the house as easily as they could. This would be a great gift to give them, like a week or two weeks from a service like this. I'm a I'm a fan.
Oh it's good to know.
That's honestly really good to know, because sometimes you're not sure what to get people, and I always like to get people things that are going to be super helpful, especially when they have something new happened in their life, like a biby.
So good to know husband is already sneaking into them a meal selling those are mine.
Well, I am going to boost. Did I tell you that I got the Nest a new nest. Well, I don't know if it's the new, but so Nest is like a thermostat for your house, and you know it's like a smart thrmostat.
Well, I don't know.
Like I live in Jersey, so we have PC and G, but I know like New York has like kindetsin and depending on where you live around the country, I don't know what the name of your your energy provider is. And so PC ANDNG is offering basically half off the Nest. So instead of like two fifty, it was like one twenty five, which is awesome. So I got the nest, and then I splurged and got something called the sensors.
Because I lived in an old house.
It was built in like I don't know, nineteen twenty or something like that. So we've got like just one thermostat for the whole house. So I wanted to figure out, you know, like what did I need to set the thermostat too, so that the house could be comfortable. And the sensors will let you know, like I've named them like Supergirl's room, guest room, master bedroom, and kitchen and so that way. And then the sensor that the main sensor, which is in the thermostat is in the dining room.
And so I on my phone. I'm obsessed. So my husband now calls me the boriler operator.
Do you guys battle it out like me and husband do? Where Like he's like I wanted to be sixty eight. I'm like, I want to be seventy two.
We go back and forth.
So first of all, he doesn't really play, but I you should see me. I'm in here, like, ooh, Supergus room looks a little.
Chilly, let's turn it. Oh my god, I look at the boy, look at a boil operator. Look at the boil operator there.
Like sometimes I'll come home and it's like, maybe the house is too warmer, too chili.
He's like, boil operator, you're off your job. I love it.
Like sometimes I'm like, did you touch the did you touch the thermos back? And I just love the fact that literally I could be like totally like in another state and be like, you know what, the house looks a little chili from where I am. So yes, honestly, I have to say I love the nests. I love the sensors.
Yeah, and I.
Somebody gifted me Google Home a while ago, so I have not set it up yet, but apparently it all links because I have the ring, which is I think is a Google product, and I have the nests and the sensor. So I think with Google Home, like i'd be there's like, you know, I can set it up and like be like.
The superstalker of my house. So yeah, that's my boost. It's just I think it's just such a great tool.
And I used to have to because of the first floor of the house tends to be cooler than the bedrooms. So we would go to bed at night and I would wake up like an a wet because I forgot to turn down the thermostat.
And meanwhile, I live my I'm on the third floor of our house. That's where our master.
Suite is, and so I'd have to go all the way downstairs, like at midnight to turn it down and to come all the way back up. And so now I just roll over grab my phone and the boiler operator has it, had her fingertips and I'm like, yeah, so just a little booths, you know, Like I said, it's X to me. I brought a thermistat before. It's it's comparable to like what other thermost casts cost with
this discount. If you live and I guess the city that has PC and G and for all I know your your your your service provider might have it as well. But totally it's worth it and I love it.
Join me.
Oh, you don't need to have a certain service. I think anyone could do the Nest and it's fabulous. Oh sorry discount yah yea, yeah, okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. I'll say we have the Nest doorbell too, and I recently discovered you can turn off the doorbell sound. Oh my god, anyone with a baby at home game change. Every Amazon person I wanted to personally murder for ringing the doorbell
when they came. It was always when the baby was sleeping, always, and not only that, but Molly would start barking too, so to I still get the alert that someone's ringing the doorbell, but no sound.
It is blissful.
Yeah, that is bol technology. I am so grateful to you. So shout out to Husby for hooking us up and making our house super tech friendly because the nest is awesome.
Yes, I co sign your boost.
Well, Mandua, this was great. It was great to be back in the saddle. But don't forget if you need a break, take a break. That's not just for Managic, that's for all y'all listening that nothing's more important than you being healthy, happy in a home.
One day at a time with my new mantra. So we will maybe see you guys next week, maybe not. If not, we'll have it something else in its place. But I have to say I'm feeling really good and the fog is listening. As trenty as that sounds, that's what it feels like. So I'm not feeling being very happy.
Kay. Good