The BA Q&A: My Boss Is A Jerk

slide right on into our DMS. We actually see your messages. We sometimes respond, especially late night when I'm just scrolling on my phone and checking out with my ba fam. I actually do respond to lots and lots of messages, So hit us up. We love y'all's questions today. For this special edition of BAQ and A, we are all focused on career stuff, and we've got some really juicy, interesting questions. How to deal with the toxic boss? Wouldn't

we all love some advice on that. I've got some strategies for a listener who has a question about a very toxic boss. So let's just dive right on in with our first question. Now, obviously, when you're talking about your advice on a podcast, you want to remain anonymous, so absolutely we will keep you anonymous, but let me just call you. We'll call you Rebecca. Okay, Rebecca says, first and foremost, send my love to Tiffany as she's healing. Thank you very much for that, and I will send

some extra love to Tiffany myself. Rebecca says, I love you both, and I get so much great advice and insights into navigating the professional world as a woman of color. My question today is about my boss. I'm a recruiter and the company that I work for is wonderful. I love the culture they're cultivating. I don't want to make a move, but my boss is extremely tough to work with right now. She's overstressed and obsessed with hitting all our KPIs. Regardless of whether we hit our financial goal

that we commit to every month. To boil it down, she finds a way to give us backhanded compliments on our performance as an office and it's honestly moralizing. I've heard this from many co workers as well. We've been venting to each other and it's becoming toxic to the culture. I want to say something to her, but she is a domineering and stubborn force. I would love if you can give me some tips on how to approach her. Ooh yeah, toxic bosses? Why do they have to ruin everything?

And you know what's great about this question? I mean, obviously it sucks, and I feel bad for you, but I love that you can have at least you're identifying and recognizing that your company culture is largely good. So what sucks is that you've got a boss who's like screwing it up because largely the culture itself is very different than what your interactions with this boss have been. So how can we tattle on her? That's what I want to know. I don't actually think it's your job

to fix her or make her a better manager. My question is like, how can we tattle on her in a strategic way to get her out of your way so that you can actually enjoy this great culture that this company is committed to building. And I think toxic managers like her deserve to be called out and dealt with because they're real, like an employees experience, and if companies want to retain employees, and not have us all quitting on them. They need to know who their shitty

bosses are. Who are the shitty managers who actually could use a little bit of professional development support, some training like who deserves and the manager sect to get a performance improvement plan, And it sounds like your boss does. So what are the levers that you can pull within your company to actually let people know that this manager is making it harder for you to do your job and it's not just you. So that's my first question.

I've worked at places where you could actually once a year, they would have a survey that you could send out and you could provide anonymous feedback on your manager. But if you guys have that like annual survey, and if it's not coming up in the next couple of weeks, then I think it's time to actually take this to It can be either someone in HR, it can be

your boss's boss. You can arrange something called the skip level meeting where you intentionally reach out to a person above your boss and have a candid conversation about what you've been experiencing. Do not go in there, This is my advice to you. Don't go in there empty handed. In terms of data and information and actual examples of what has happened. I think you should definitely be in

the collecting of data phase right now. So start writing out what has she said, what has she done that has created a toxic work culture, And the more concrete examples you can give, the more likely it is that they will actually do something about them. So if you walk into your manager's manager's office and you say, hey, I'm having a really hard time with Tracy. She's making

my job just you know, horrible and awful. Now you're just creating a problem that this manager's manager has to figure out, make their job a little bit easier, and also make it more likely that they're going to take your claim seriously. By having some cold, hard facts. Not only does this illustrate the reality of what's going on, but it also shows them, Wow, this this person is bad enough where Rebecca feels like she has to keep

tabs on all these different instances and occurrences. So put the power, take the power back in a little bit of control by starting to document all of the situations that have occurred where this boss has, like I said, created a toxic environment, ben demoralizing. Take screenshots if she's texting or sending emails or slack messages, whatever it is that are causing these situations. Take your screenshots, get organized, and then plan a meeting. And if you want to

combine forces with the other people on your team. There really is power in numbers. If a company knows that it's not just one person who's having an issue with this boss, it's six people. And by the way, this team is in danger of falling apart, as are our financial goals and our business goals for this team. Believe me, they will listen to you. So I think there's power

in numbers. If you want to get together a little consortium or a group of colleagues and maybe set up a group meeting to speak in a safe space with your manager's manager, whoever else at the company you can identify to accept this kind of complaint, that's a good strategy. But definitely walk in there with concrete examples. It's going to make everything go a lot faster and be a

lot more likely they're actually going to take action. Now, how they react to your complaints about this manager and your documentation is going to tell you the real truth about their work culture. If they really are committed to creating the kind of culture that you're describing, where they want people to feel welcome, where they want you to do your best work and to be thriving. And yes, we're going to achieve our business goals, but we're not going to do it at the expense of our mental

health and the expense of our happiness in general. Then they will take your complaints seriously, or they should and actually either do something meaningful to get this manager, you know, on the right path. They should get rid of her, reassign her, maybe they can reassign you to someone else. They should do something, take some sort of action, maybe give them, I don't know, a few weeks to do something.

But if they don't do something, then that actually tells you what they really mean about that culture they're trying to cultivate, because if they're not going to solve this problem, then that culture was always a ticking time bomb. It was always going to fall apart because they're not protecting it. Companies have to be protective. They have to be unapologetically protective about anything that can be a threat to employee retention, employee happiness, and to that culture that they say that

they want to cultivate. And the uncomfortable truth about that is that they're going to have to identify these shitty managers and do something about them. And the more companies are willing to acknowledge that it's not just the lowest, you know, entry level employee that they have to pay attention to, it's managers, Like why aren't we training better managers like we cause, like they're causing so many issues

out there right. So I'm obviously really really fired up about how important it is for companies to identify, you know, crappy managers give them the support and training that they need. I'm not even saying that it's your boss's fault that maybe she's creating this. She may not even be aware of it, and you know what, it may be coming from her higher ups. They may be putting pressure on her. So we need to get to the root cause of it,

and they need to fix it. And if they don't fix it, then I think it's okay for you to move on, you know, find a company where you can work for, you know, work for that actually enforces the culture that they, you know, talk about creating or dentally moving to a different team at your company. So keeping an ear out and an eye out for who says they love working for their manager and see if maybe

you could request a transfer to that team. Even like, you got to look out for yourself, right, and you got to you gotta put your own foot forward when it comes to coming up with solutions. Sometimes that work best for you because the company may not always know what's what's best for you personally, but you're always going to have you know your best interests in mind, right, So if they don't have a good solution that works for you, sometimes coming with your own idea of a

solution can help. Thank you so much for your question. Thank you for setting this in. I hope things improve, but definitely pluck up the courage, get a couple of your colleagues together, go at this as a team and a unified front, and I think you'll actually have a really good chance about getting some sort of action taken in this case. Okay, all right, I got all fired up with that one. We will be right back with another question for the ba Q and a Hey, hey

bea fan. It's Bandy and I am back to answer more of a your juicy juicy career in finance questions again. Hit us up at brandimbissionpodcast dot com or our ig at Brand Andbission podcast with all of your juicy money and career questions. I am really excited about this question. I hope I can help this listener. They want to remain anonymous, which I think when I get into the question, you'll understand why here we go, This listener says, and let me think of a name. Let's call her Jane.

Jane says, I recently got a new job and I've been working here for about a month. I have about four to five years of experience in construction accounting, and I was hesitant to take this position because the title was for an accounting associate, which to me means entry level. During my interview, the controller advised I would hit the ground running learn more about higher level accounting jobs available

while continuing to practice construction accounting. But it's been a month and I have yet to be assigned any daily tasks. The majority of my work has been scanning boxes and papers. The controller has told me multiple times in the last four weeks to just hang on. There will be more work for me to do, But I'm having a hard time finding where I fit in at this company. The controller also told me after ninety days, I will have a job title change, but she hasn't given me any

details about it. So I've asked, I've expressed my readiness to have tasks piled on me. I'm starting to feel like I was sold a dream and I made a mistake by quitting a company I was with for two years for this opportunity. The benefits at this job are significantly better than my last job, but I took a pay decrease. My question is how long do I continue to wait and see if I will be anything more than a glorified paper filer. Ooh, so we're having a

little career buyers remorse. Yes, you know what, First and foremost, it's not your fault. It's well, you know what, is it your fault? It's a little bit your fault. You know, you did take a job that you knew was an entry level position. And I think in that regard, we have to really be able to have our BS meter really high for companies when you're in the recruiting process, because companies, at the end of the day, they're trying

to sell you on a position. And I think we've all been in those job interviews where you feel like things are way rosier during the interview process than when you actually get to see behind the curtain after you're hired, right, And I mean, it's the same reason why real estate agents stage a home. Obviously, they're going to make it look like this fantastic place to live, and even though you know you don't actually own that furniture, it helps you buy the home. It helps them make it feel

like home to you. So yeah, recruiters hiring managers will often make things seem a little bit rosier. But this is pretty egregious. It's very egregious when someone hires you and they know that you are overqualified for a role, and they acknowledge that, and they also say, okay, we'll give us a little bit of time. We'll make sure that you get a job title change and that you are able to grow and advance in this role. But

then they're actually not making good on their word. So in an interview process, I think what you should follow up with. I know it's a little bit too little, too late, but for anyone listening who's in your situation and potentially looking at a job that would be a bit of a step down, ask them for concrete steps in a concrete timeline, for when you'll actually get to take on additional responsibilities, a new title, all of that. Now, I'm remembering a recent coaching client of my of my own.

She actually had a very similar situation in the legal She had a legal background and she was in a really toxic work environment, so she was a bit more vulnerable to being sold in dream because obviously in that situation, you just want to get the hell out. So when she was interviewing, and she knew it was a bit of a step down, but she was told the exact

same thing you were. Come on board. I know there's no work in this particular area that you're passionate about right now, but just give me a few months stick around, and sure enough, none of that work materialized, just like for you, you're finding out. Okay, it's been a little bit. It's been a little bit, and I'm worried, like I'm actually not seeing any progress You're I'm not entirely surprised, but I think you have a couple of options. I

think you can bide your time and continue waiting. It has been four weeks, right, and it hasn't been the full ninety days, And I think the first ninety days of any job is very much like a wait and see. You're kind of getting into a groove. They're kind of getting into a groove. I wouldn't take the pressure off. I would continue bringing it up. I would continue asking for the work. I would continue letting her know or

letting him know that you are expecting. You know what you were promised in your early conversations when you were interviewing. But I wouldn't stop looking for other opportunities. And I would also I would definitely be sure that you're keeping one eye open for other opportunities. If you decide in a couple of more months it is actually time for you to go. It's a shame, but at the same time,

you have to put yourself first in this regard. They made mistakes, like you made a bit of a mistake, because you not a mistake so much, but you know, you went into this job knowing that it was a bit of a risk, knowing that it may not be the exact right fit, kind of putting your trust in someone else and they didn't deliver, and that sucks. That was a risk that you took when you took this job right, But you shouldn't stay in the job just because you feel like, Okay, well I'm here now the

benefits are a little bit better. I said I would do it. I don't want to look like a job hopper. You think you can definitely explain to another hiring manager why you would be looking to change jobs. Just like my coaching client, Oh girl, when I tell you, when I first met with her, she was also worried, like, oh, but I just joined this job a couple of months ago. You know, will a hiring manager look down upon me and worry about me, thinking that I'm risky because I'm

trying to jump ships so quickly. And I'm like, no, just tell the truth. Tell the next hiring manager. You know what. I took this role because I was excited for the possibility of growth, and it was very apparent to me within my first thirty sixty ninety days. However long it's been that that growth was actually not going to be coming. And I don't want to wait. I can't afford to wait. I don't want my professional skills to a trophy. I don't want my earning potential, you know,

to be diminished. And I think any you know, recruiter or hiring manager who gets it and is in their right mind won't actually look down upon you for that or penalize you for it. They'll see that and be like, Okay, well, let's make sure we're actually going to give you, know, I forgot what I name that I give you Jane your fake name. We're actually going to give Jane, you know, a really clear expectation of what she can expect here. And I think any company should be willing to, like,

should be should understand that. Okay, if we hire someone and we tell them something and then we promise them something and we actually don't deliver on it, that they're

going to leave. So for me, it seems like perfectly normal and perfectly reasonable that you were promised something, given some kind of dream, it didn't materialize, and so you're gonna get out like you're just a person who respects themselves in their career enough to get out when you're not in a good situation, you know what I mean. And I will say my coaching client had a really happy ending. She actually got a brand new offer at

a job that was like more money, great benefits. So when you talk about you know the fact that this job has slightly or significantly better benefits than your previous job. I wouldn't stay here just because of that, because the fact that you found a job with significantly better benefits just shows you that, Okay, there's actually great benefits out here. You just have to be really particular and make sure that you pay attention to what companies are offering just

outside of your compensation. So absolutely, I think you should be keeping one eye open to the job market, and I think you should learn from this experience. You mentioned here that you're in your late twenties. It's just a good learning experience for you at this point, right, Yeah, you took a risk. This is what happened. All right, we're just going to bounce back from it. Right. We're either going to stay here and make the most of it and continue advocating for yourself and pushing to get

what you want, becoming a thorn in their side. It's a good learning experience for you. It's also a damn good learning experience for your boss. I was that boss too, and I had to learn for my own mistake that when you actually hire someone who's overqualified for a role, you're just opening yourself up to You're going to be annoyed.

They're going to be unhappy, because what as a manager, there's nothing worse then knowing someone on your team is unhappy and just like waiting like, oh, I can't give them what I said I would. There's nothing I can really do about it. They're not happy. Now I got to hear them moan and groan and complain every one on one. You know, it just sucks for all involved. So unfortunately it's going to be a good lesson for

this manager as well. I hope that they remember this situation so they don't do it again, because it's just silly. It's a real It's like one of those situations where you're not thinking long term. You're just trying to like solve an immediate problem. I need a butt in the seat, I need someone to do this job, to push these

papers or whatever. When you're hiring from the perspective of just the short term gains or short short term goals, you're just opening yourself up to having a long term, you know, catastrophe on your hands because you're just not thinking down the line. It's a good managerial lesson and if for anyone who's listening who's in a hiring position. Just do what you can. Take your time when it

comes to hiring. You're better off sometimes just hiring someone for on a freelance base, on a contractor basis to fill an immediate need while you take your damn time and find the exact right fit for that role for the long term. And that was one of the great lessons I learned as a manager was, oh, I can ask for a budget and I can hire freelance help

just to kind of get by. Hit our KPIs, you know, our key performance indicators, hit our goals, and then I can take my time, you know, recruiting and finding the exact right fit. So hopefully your manager will learn that goal. And if you decide to leave and you give an exit interview, be honest about what happened, and hopefully they'll take that as a learning lesson and do better next time and everyone will be better off in the end. But definitely keep your eye and ear open for new

opportunities and never forget this situation. Maybe be you know, ask for those specific when someone promises you, okay, you come on, it's this way now, things will change down the line. What sort of specific guarantees can they give you, or what sort of specific timeline or resource versus do they have in mind. And especially I would definitely be suspicious if a hiring manager is like, oh, yeah, don't worry, I'm going to get you promoted in the next few months.

That's just not something that happens. Having been in the corporate environment and having managed a team of thirty people, you know, as a senior director, promotions take time, there's a process for them. Usually I would want to get more sources and more assurances. Maybe it's from someone actually in HR, not just a hiring manager who's not in HR, that there's actually like it's a possibility that you'll be promoted or get a new title change in that short

period of time. And then you may see, oh, there's actually some holes and this whole vision and rosy story that I'm being sold and I'm actually not going to move forward because I don't trust this is actually going to be the case. All right, Miss Jane mis Anonymous, thank you so much for your question. And that wraps up another episode of The BAQ and A. I am Mandy Mandy Money. You can me at Mandy Money on ig follow us and hit us up on at brand

Ambition Podcast on IG with your questions. Also check out our beautiful, brand new website, Brandambission podcast dot com where you can find past episodes. You can find soon transcripts of episodes as well as show notes everything you want to find at brandambisson podcast dot com. I will see y'all next Friday for ba Q and a