Hey, hey, Hey, we're back.
We're black brand ambition and thisish and this hey many girl.
Well now that it's cool to be country, I think I'm just going to bring out I think Mandy, I think Amandalali is going to make an appearance this podcast, y'all, because y'all, Queen Bee got me wanting to put on my boots and find a cowboy hat that'll fit this head of hair and hit the tooth stepping? Is that what you call? Poor Usher? Can we just more Usher? Do they have beef? Why would she do that to that man?
I know? Well, I will say as first time, I was concerned that Twitter like Usher had like like two million I guess like impressions or like you know, like comment and she had like about a million. So people are still giving him his due.
I mean Spotify, she's like the one. Her songs were top of the charts you expect after the Super Bowl. By the way, Usher, he's laid like it was. I loved it. I had so much fun, which is probably why my hip is really tight today because I was getting down with the elder millennials at the at the at the at the Homie rap. But yeah, he did amazing.
But I thought, oh, I'm going to spend Monday morning, like you know, listening to old Usher, and no, I spent it memorizing the words to sixteen Carriages and Texas Hold Them. I want to say.
You know, Beyonce was like, sorry, but I'm going to use the super Bowl all attention came to. They paid her to do a commercial and she was like, thanks for this thirty million dollars worth of promo.
I mean, there's never nothing done half assed. I mean we saw her. Look at the Grammys. I don't know if you saw that she had on like she's been doing the whole I mean, obviously there's been a horse has been the motif of renaissance and all that. I'd forgotten. There was supposed to be three acts, Act one, Act two, whatever, So yeah, I had totally forgotten. But when she came out and for those I don't know, where are you living under a rock? I mean it's Wednesday, you guys
should be up on it by now. But at the super Bowl, what happened was was it after the halftimes? I think was just after the halftime show, maybe just before anyway, Verizon ad comes on. It's all about Beyonce talking about I'm gonna break the Internet. At the end of it, she's like drop the new music. They're ready, and literally at the same time, Instagram and x Twitter start blowing up because she's posted on ig that her
new album is coming out in March twenty ninth. Not just that, but here's two new tracks, and not just that, but here is the sexiest cowgirl like artwork photography you're ever going to see, Like get your lives together, and you know, forget about this whole football game.
I will say whoever is on her, whatever the NBA says, it must say, we will take your ear, your eye because no nothing ever leaks, not.
Your grandchildren will feel all right.
I mean I mean Beyonce literally tape. Remember she did the art What was the one that she were It was the first one. I think it was Lemonade.
Say it was self self and Beyonce.
Where she dropped it and all the videos, So you need to tell me you recorded. She must have one of those, remember like Men in Black where they had that little thing that erased your memory, because how was it? No extras, no production, nobody says anything beyond not.
Even Gary from VIEP. I mean Gary from VIEP took me out. I don't know if y'all ever watch VEEP did if you're not a TV girl, but VIEP was the funniest and Gary played like the the dorky assistant to Julie Juey Louis Dreyfus's vice president character, and the fact that he was next to our queen Bee. I. I just want an interview where he talks about how like what what was that like? And how to Gary even VIEP end up In this commercial the.
Girls say nothing a sidebar Happy Valentine's Day?
Oh is that going to be? Oh?
Your say if you are a little kid, happy Valentine's you know, because it's like Happy Valentine's.
Meanwhile, I got an email from Remy's daycare. He's all of eight months. You're eight months old, and they're like, here's the class list if you like to send in Valentine's I'm like, no, Do I get at least another year or two before I have to worry about another one of those? And of course I got ahead of things. I'm looking to my right because somewhere on this shelf are the Valentines that I bought for Rio's class, maybe
a couple months ago, and I'm probably gonna forget. I need to like find them because you know how you buy stuff in advance and then you forget where you put it. It's also my grandpa who has been He passed away in two thousand and seven. He would be ninety five. On the day we were recording on the twelfth, my mom just reminded me, so, hi, Papa, love you and happened. But did you watch the Did you watch the game?
Though?
Actually watch half just come.
I was grateful to the people. I could not figure out how to watch the Usher show because I was like, Who's watching the game?
Not me?
Because I had just come back from visiting my friend and.
So on the way, Honestly, the Usher halftime show would have been a good time before you go visit a friend. I'm just saying, like, I was like, it was bouche a little Afric DJ. Yeah, come back.
On the weekend. And then so when I got back, I was like, I'm tired. I thought I was going to go to a Super Bowl party, but I was tired, and I was like, I just watched the Usher show, but I could not figure out how to watch it. It was not playing on YouTube. It was not playing, but God blessed the people. It was a young woman who set up her phone so I could watch her TV or her laptop.
And it was me and.
Twenty other people. Yeah no Instagram, Me and twenty other people just get saying, you are doing the Lord's work. So I'm just in there like gus, watching like a video of her video, which was it was amazing, because like, where am I going to watch it? I'm missing it.
It was on Paramount, wasn't it.
I don't know cha. I was clicking all the things. I don't remember my log into none of my I think I said, you.
Know what, you were not pared.
I went on to Instagram and someone said I got you. She literally was like, yeah, I'm gonna She was so cute because she was like, although I'm excited, I'm going to try to keep my voice down so you guys can hear. So I mean, a gem of a gem. It was just excellent, and I just want to thank her. I don't remember her name, but girl, not all not all heroes were capes, you know, some of them pirate videos for us to watch. So I'm just happy about that.
Well, it was a little chaotic in the beginning because there was so it was like where's Usher at? He was behind like every performer like there was. It's so it was so different to Rihanna's show because or sorry Rihanna, Rihanna show, because everyone was sort of like monotone. It was the white and then she was red. But with Usher, I'm like, where he at? It's like there's a peacock over there, it's a showgirl. That guy's doing backflips and this the camera's going all over the place. But he
did the damn thing. And by the time Luda came out, and I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd be bouncing my baby on my hip and dancing to turn down for what. At the same time, my mind was blown. I was like, am I in college right now? Am I a mom? Like? I don't someone take this baby? He can't be mine. I was just in college.
This is crazy.
But the nostalgia for the elder millennials was was so real. My older sister loved Usher like, yes, he was everything to her. So we were all very we were trying to observe this day for Mallory my older sister and just like really respect her feelings and make sure that she got her time to digest.
Well, what did you think about some of the commercials, the Ghana one?
Oh my gosh, I remember, Wait what was the Ghana one? Because I saw it like maybe after it started, and I didn't really know what it was for.
So it looked like the NFL was saying, Hey, we're going to be having like football camps in Africa. That's what it looked like, okay, And so they was like following this little boy who was like playing football all around like his house, but also to the marketplace, one of the largest marketplaces in a kragana, and you know, everybody basically was like, oh, there he goes Qui just always playing football. But in his mind he was like playing against some of the best guys in the league.
So they were his imaginary friends, but they were really there, you know, like going up against like you know, this linebacker or whatever. I don't know the positions. And then afterwards he like, I guess this dog steals his football and it takes him to this field where he sees people practicing football. Because in Africa, like so many other countries, soccer,
aka their football is the dominant sport. So he realizes, wow, they're playing football football and he's met with this Nigerian football player named Oci, who I'm assuming used to be a famous football player and says, I know that look, I remember I had that look too. We're here in Africa. I'm interested in American football and basically says this is a camp to like get kids and boys ready to play. So it was really yeah, and there's so many. It
was just beautiful to see. Like I saw Bozma, my friend who is an ambassador to to Ghana until former CMO of Netflix. She was like, how beautiful? How you know, like literally to hear my language being spoken on the most prominent marketing stage in the world, right, you know what I mean? Like, So I just was just really beautiful. It was just a really beautifully well done commercial. So
that came on. Only reason I sty is because Homegirl was like about to cut off and she's like, wait, let's watch this one commercials together.
The girl really impressed that you wanted that you were talking about what I saw because watched usher the commercials. I saw one. Let me go first talk about wanting to be the first person to raise your hand in class.
Because he read exactly. I was like, so in the chapter that I read, chapter one, I mean because I heard that. I mean I didn't see, but I heard that the Kindae commercial was ghetto.
He basically always chasing my children around. I wouldn't have just taken them to up Laila's house in retrospect, but I was chasing them around. It was a lot. It's a lot of emotions. I have a pandemic baby, and y'all who have pandemic boys and girls out there, when they get in a crowd, it's it's hit or miss. It's like either they're going to be stuck to you and you can't do anything without them, or they're going
to be flying free. But no, I did. The one that I saw that really like stuck with me was a Dove commercial. Dove they were our partners last year. Will they continue in it? But they? I mean, you know, but they did this really this really I don't know what's the word it was. It was heart it was touching, but it was also like really sad, and it was about young girls and how because of body confidence issues, because young girls don't like the way that they look
or they're self conscious about their bodies. They drop out of sports at such a huge rate. So it was like a twelve year old cliff or something. And I think the Dove angle is that they're going to be doing like body confidence. I mean, that's always been their their thing. It's about loving your body. But this picture of a twelve year old little girl in a swim suit looking at herself in the mirror, and I'm like, ain't that a damn thing? Like I know, it was like,
of course I went through that as a kid. I remember her. I wasn't swimming, but I was in the marching band, and even I I was like, I can't wear shorts to the practice because my legs look you know, fat or whatever. And it's just, yeah, that made me sad. And I thought it was really poignant. That's the word. Poignant, kind of like punch you in the gut kind of commercial, but so.
Like we're so conscious and like, honestly, there's so much money that's made out of our self deprivation and self consciousness about how we look. You know, it's big business. Like so Amelia, my niece, she's six. The other day she she like baked her mom, I want you to. I want you She used to say, I want hair like Auntie Edo. So y'all know I have a lock. So Amelia has natural hair and her mom puts it like cute little braids and burrets and stuff. She's like, oh,
I want I want hair like Auntie Edo's. So her mom would twist it and she would call it. Look, I got Auntie Edo hair because adot, she is my African name and they call me Auntie know and so. But then like a month or so ago, she said, Mommy, I want straight hair and she's like, oh, you want your hair like Auntie Etto. She's like no, So I was like, who No, She said she wants her hair because she asked her mom, how come my hair doesn't fall down? And I remember, oh that girl.
My little brother asked me that when he was It's a joke to this day, but it was quite sad.
I know.
I was like, hair go down, yes, And then she was just because she goes to a school in the north ward of New York, which is largely Hispanic, Like it's about eighty percent Hispanic, right, So it's great because her accent is perfect. Though Okay, her best friend, Alena is from dr and so like they just you know, we love that for her. But then she I realized that meanwhile, Newark, which is so black, but here this one school, she's kind of othered, you know, obviously not
the kids are not telling her. She didn't say anybody made fun of her. She's just looking around and saying, hey, I look different. And she never had a problem before because you know, it was like the people I'm around, they look like me. And so my sister, you know, she was begging and begging, banging. So she brought one of these like straightener things, but she hasn't used it.
Ye.
And the other day she actually, my sister like wears her hair and these like really cute twists, and so she did that for her, and she was so nervous as go to school because she thought that the kids would make fun of her. But she came back so bringing them twists. Honey, everybody loved it, and we were like, woof everybody loved it. Alena told her, oh my god, you look just like your mom. And so I said,
Alena understood the asignment. We're like yas girl, I know, and so we're hoping that you know, I get it because I had straight hair for a little while and then I came back to my natural state. And it's part of, like I wish it wasn't part of kind of like this navigating toward accepting yourself and but it's just it was just hard to hear, like how come my hair doesn't go down? Because I remember, because my hair grows out like yours. Man, it just grows out.
It doesn't you know, doesn't fall. And I mean now as with locks, you know, but yeah, it just made us say, like, h how much money is made out of the self consciousness. Meanwhile, she's six.
Well, I think it's about there's a curiosity that kids have, and I think our our and there's so much pressure on parents to like say the exact right thing and then the next thing, you know, you see on IG some parenting experts like if you say this, you're a fucking awful parent. I'm like, well, I'm just sending yesterday and got them to bed on time. But there's a curiosity that they are going to have about their hair,
their skin, their bodies. And I think if we approach it as you know, your hair is naturally this way, but look at all the amazing things it can do because it can be straight, it can do all these and our hair is so versatile, and if there's an appreciation of it as one of the many things that the hair can do, dang, And I don't have a little I'm not raising girls, I'm raising boys. Rio already says, Mama, my hair pop, my curls popping. And when I blow
my hair out, he doesn't like. He's like, Mama, while your hair, well, your curls not pop. I love that he doesn't know what it means. It's just so sincere. But yeah, so I think that's you know, I think it's totally natural. But I think it's like, it's how we say that. And I had the perfect book for mem Why where did that come from?
Do you guys call her MEMI we do because I call my f.
I don't know why. Maybe you said it before. I don't know her that well. But but I've read. I actually raised a hand to read a book at I sent you a picture right in my little yees pre school moment. I went to the library. I got some books to read for Rio's pre K class for a Black History month, and one of them that I didn't read because I checked out four books and his teacher was like, girl, you better pick one, because one thing these kids are not going to do to four books.
One of them was called Princess Hair. There's a beautiful book and it's like girls with kinks love to think and girls. Maybe I shouldn't have started with that example because it sounds weird. Girls with curls like tutwirl, and it's like all the different natural hairstyles and like a celebration of all those different ways our hair can look.
And there's like, if you the way that I went to the library and I sat down in the librarian she was a white woman, but I sat down tot her what I was looking for, and I just sat there at my little table in the kiddie section reading books, and she just kept bringing me over like a like a waitress, like here's more, here's more. There's so many great books with like so much representation of skin colors
and hair textures. And you know, I think if we are like really intentional about it, this generation, these kids generation is going to grow up so much more loving themselves. I hope.
Anyway, Yeah, I think so. I mean, like I said, she she's got her like these faux locks twist things that's super cute that her mom does for herself, and she's never not like swinging them. I'm like, okay, so, and to your point, if if she wants to get it straightened, she could certainly, we could certainly do that temporarily, just like this is just another style, not better, not worse, just another way that your hair can be.
Just let her learn about humidity after that, and poof, I'm saying, can you can tell the weather but my hair right, it's gonna be humid, y'all curls are out.
But yeah, it just goes to show like it's so social media. Sometimes you just need a break because we're all susceptible to I can't tell you how much stuff I have bought. Oh my gosh, I would say I should just do like I should do, like a spreadsheet of like things I was influenced to buy. I suspect it's at least a thousand dollars worth of stuff last year.
It's a new mall, I mean, like window shopping is scrolling on ig yeah, and it's and it knows me. I'm just like, yeah, I would like those shoes you are correct, and yes, last year I did take advantage of this buy one, get one sale. So thanks for bringing me the link back.
And you know what, I really love though. I mean, this is so terrible because there might be a store that I know. I'm not ready to buy anything now, but I'm like, oh, I like it, so I will click on it, just so they know, continue to influence me. Now.
Oh yeah, now we know how to work the AI, you know, like we're you're on the algo Like I once did that for husby. I got his I got a hold of his phone and I looked for a lot of relationship content like how to be a better husband. And I was liking and saving and liking and saving and he's like, did you touch my phone? Something is wrong with He knew immediately. I'm like, this is not. Oh my goodness. Yeah, it's hard for the wallet. It really really is. So y'all are on watch for like
spring break and traveling because now it's a season. Everyone's like booking up. Protect your coins at all costs. Remember what you value. Remember I'm a giant hypocrite because I am going to Dominican Republic for a wedding and I did spend too much on a dress for the wedding because.
I did you get the one from Afree or whatever? You got something different or they? Yeah.
So it's been really challenging to find a formal dress for the beach, especially in my size because I'm not like I need you know, and what I love about the what was the place you Offree?
What's it called for? Something like Offrey Afree?
Yeah? And where they're Kenyan or where they.
Yeah, it's an African brand, but I don't know African brands.
Beautiful, Yeah, beautiful clothes, but with my timeline, like I, yeah, I didn't find anything in my size that I like there. But we'll see. But the point is Internet is just taking our dollars at all times.
They say TikTok liter is like every third or fourth like video or whatever is an ad. It's not more not.
What even Target is doing a storefront for influencers. You know how on TikTok it's like Linkster in my Amazon storefront and everyone's you know, getting those affiliate dollars and now Targe's rolling it out too. You know. One thing tie it back to Super Bowl ads is there was a notable absence from these years. This year's ads was NFT and Crypto content, which was like, yeah, Crypto, Wait,
they don't have it in the Crypto stadium. No, it was in Vegas, but anyway, Crypto and NFT ads were all over the place the past couple of Super Bowls. But no, it was crickets from the Crypto bros. On the marketing team.
They're like, maybe we're gonna read the room.
Yeah, maybe people know too much. Now what else? Is there anything else buzzin'?
Well, you know, I think you and I were chatting, like last week, how so many businesses? It's like this thing that's like not being said, like explicitly so many businesses, but not just businesses, people twenty twenty three was a really hard financial year. Why is people not talking about it? Like, I mean, certainly I've seen some people, But there was an article that I read It was like about how many small businesses actually went out of business in twenty
twenty three. But I can see it myself, like I'm people who I follow who've been in business for years went out of business twenty twenty three or have just been expressing how it was like a total shit show. But also I have friends who were looking for jobs
eight months a year. I'm like, what you and I were kind of chatting and maybe we could just chat so, you know, like I there doesn't seem usually when a trend like this happens, you know you're seeing it on CNN and CNBC and d D, but I feel like there's not this consensus, Like there was this really bad financial trend where people were having a really hard time in the business sector but also in the corporate sector, and here's what we saw happen. I feel like it
was kind of mom's the word. It's all. This is just kind of like me just observing. Like at first you just think like, wow, I'm having a bad year. Then I talked to one friend and another and another and a sister and a brother, and I'm like wait, And then I saw like one article on it and I thought, what was that? What was twenty twenty three and why were we all having such a hard time financially?
Well, it's important, I think, just the question to reflect on last year because you as a business owner learning from trends, and it may not be that you made a mistake, but like what you were your services, your products, like the consumer sentiment was different, like they weren't ready
to spend on that type of service. And I think the risk is, like you, if you pivot too quickly because something isn't working, then maybe what you have is great for when the cycle, when this dip is over, whenever the you know, people are not wanting to spend their dollars in this way. They're feeling more frugal. They're spending so much more money at the grocery store, and it's like, am I going to get bread and eggs
which are really expensive? Am I going to spend on this? Like, but your services are still good, maybe your funnel, you know, where the customer journey is still good. But if you scramble. I don't know if you've heard this as well, but like I know, for me, I made some choices in twenty twenty three out of a reaction to like, oh, that's not working anymore. I'm going to change and like try this instead and change a price here and make this free where I as I used to charge for it.
And I don't know that I necessarily had to, but it felt like something that I could, you know, I was like, well, just pull this lever here and see
what happens. But I didn't. Luckily, because I was on maternity leave and in pregnant delirium for a lot of the year and then postpartum delirium, I didn't fiddle too much with my business and that might have actually helped me, because I almost feel like sometimes and you know, you've been in this longer than me, and you have clearly talked to a lot of people about it, But I feel like in business sometimes it's almost like treated like an index fund, a little bit like once you have
the infrastructure set up, sort of like ride the ups and downs, but stay true to what's worked for you, or double down maybe on some core offers rather than like adding new stuff. And I was I was texting with Mark Russell. Do you know Mark from Better Wallet? He was on the show, but I think it was when you were gone.
Yeah, well, I know I don't know him personally, but like I follow him.
He loves you. You're like his idol. But anyway, but Mark and I were texting and I was like, yeah, so, how was twenty twenty three for you. I've heard that it's been rough, and he said, actually, I've had I had a great twenty twenty three, I got rid of a lot of extra stuff that I had been adding and just focused on my core offer, and he had a really strong year. So Okay, I don't know, that's just what I Yeah, and.
I say this too, like one of the things one of the most difficult parts of business is knowing when, because so, for example, we think of Blockbuster and what their core offer was, when is a time, you know, because it's like, you know, you don't want to pivot too late, because there is no business that's doing the exact same thing it was doing twenty thirty, forty years ago.
It's like, you know, so I would say, like, for example, maybe the core offer for Blockbusters, we deliver movies, and they needed to pivot to delivering movies in a different way, you know, And then they waited too long and Netflix was like Man Man, Man and the Booboo. You know, gotcha,
you know, And so yeah, that's the part. It was like I was just talking to someone on my team earlier today, like I don't want to do bad good, meaning like there are some offers that we have that I feel like it's they're expired now we've been doing it for like eight years. So it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a it's not a bad product inherently, but it's just not. The audience is just not this is not where they're wanting, this is not what they're wanting. So it's quote unquote bad, but it's
like we're really good at doing it. And I'm just like, yeah, but to what you know? And so that's the thing that's the struggle machine yes, and so you know, because you like, you don't want to get stuck in that like, uh so there that is the struggle of like, you don't want to just be pisoting because I've seen businesses like that. I have come up with people that when I first started the Budgetista, they had one thing that they were doing and then two years in they did
something else. In two years in and I'm still doing the budgetiessta Financial education, and they're like, I should have stuck with the thing. So to your point, that's.
What I was kind of trying to get at. Yeah, exactly. No, not that you don't want to try and evolve, but that you sort of trust that it takes time, yes, to be sticky and to.
Yes, And maybe what it is is that this is your core thing, and you just get different with how you deliver it. So if I'm a financial educator, it's like, oh, there's books, Oh, but there's also courses. Oh but there's also spokesperson word. Oh, it also speaking it. So I have pivoted in how I delivered the core thing, which
is financial education. Yeah, so it's just something else. And the truth is that's just the nature of business, Like there's no such thing as we did it Joe like, and you just stay there, like even if you had an amazing year, well, the next year is a new year, and it's like, girl, we have different requirements. You have to pivot and change and grow and and edit and add and and so that's the thing. Like sometimes I see people in business and they're like, oh, I must
not be good at this. I'm like, no, this is actually what it looks like. Like think about like raising kids. Right, it's not like who we did It wasn't last year great, It's like, uh, rio's like still growing. Yeah, so there's more this year. You had a good deal with me last year. This year is the year that I decide I no longer like vegetables. It's like, wait, what you still love vegetables. I change my mind. Why do kids do that? Right? You're like, but you looked corn. They're like,
that was yesterday. Matter of fact, that was this morning. You're late.
I don't know what screw who got put in the wrong place in Rio's whole brain. But he loves broccoli. There's times where I'm begging him eat the hot dog. No, no, get the protea. He's like, I just want the broccoli. I can't tell you. I'll take credit for it. But I'm like, and I'm listening to myself, like, shout up to letting me have the broccoli. Let him get the nutrients now. But yeah, So if you're yeah, whether you're in business, Oh, you asked about like the nine to five,
you know, the job search. Actually, my sister if she don't want me putting her business out, she won't. She works in healthcare. I think I've talked about it before, and she works in healthcare for a huge healthcare system in the Midwest. And she has really been struggling because she'll get to like the final round of interviews again and again and again and then lose out and not get picked. And I was ready to like, I was like, give me your manager's phone number, because I want to
call them. I need to call them up and be like, why are you wasting this talent? Why aren't you guys like recognizing this what's going on? Because she has everything you'd want right And finally she got some feedback that I thought was really enlightening. And also, if you have if you're struggling in the job market, it's one thing for my sister because she, you know, its jobs within her medical system, so she has access to ask people
for feedback in a way that some people don't. If you've ever really just talked to a recruiter and you're not a part of the company, but nonetheless asking for that feedback and if they're generous enough to provide you some can be insightful and can put you at ease.
And for my sister, the feedback was, you know, we had fifty plus candidates, good candidates qualified on paper, candidates for this role, and you made the top three and ultimately went with someone who had been doing this role, which kind of pisses me off because like, how are people going to get a chance anyway, went with a safer option of someone who had, you know, the exact experience somewhere else, and I do think the difference is few.
You know, the job market is like stronger in some ways, but it's more of a balance toward the employer, and especially in these hot and it was a remote job. It had these bells and whistles, and I'm like, everyone's looking for these juicy opportunities and I think there's just more folks out there who are qualified. And in my sister's case, I was like, Mallory, you got to stop banging your head against the wall thinking you know I'm
not good enough. I'm like, you need an advocate who knows you're good enough and can get you over this experience hurdle, because that is what's holding back. No I want she's not holding herself back, but you're if you're her manager right now, if you're in a hiring position,
I need you all to listen up. There are people like my sister who have the talent and no shade to the person who got the job, like kudos to them, but how many people are you missing out on who would be so loyal Not that loyalty should be celebrated entirely, but when you hire someone, you give them a shot.
When you say I see your potential, you create such a great like vibe, such a great mentality from that one employee to join your team, Like they're going to be all in, They're going to be so grateful because you took a chance on them. They get to prove themselves.
They're going to be stickier, you know. Turnover is something you think about as a hiring manager, and for me, I would look for people who weren't perfectly on paper the person that I was looking for, but who could get there, who had enough experience and I could tell just needed like a chance, like needed an opportunity, needed someone to say, oh you can do this, you know.
And if we don't have enough leaders thinking that way, then you end up, I feel like, with people who are going to be job hopping and going from one offer to the next, which is not bad, but for an employer, you want people who were going to stick around and grow, you know. And that made me very frustrated for her, but also wanting her to be more.
I mean, she already is. She's doing an amazing job like making sure that her manager's managers, managers know that she's looking and that she's interested in a new opportunity, and that she's been really frustrated by what's been happening with these other opportunities kind of slipping through her grasp and until one of them, which I think she's finally getting through their fixed skulls, starts to look at where can we put her or how can we move her
to the top, you know, like that's what it's going to take in a lot of cases, So those relationship building becomes a lot more important than necessarily the resume.
That's what I'm hearing more because I think it was a CNBC article. They said that, like they ask a bunch of hiring managers what's happening. They're like, well, last year or the year before twenty twenty two, when we would put out a job, there might be say forty people that apply, and it was like a video and the guy's like, now, within half an hour, four hundred people have applied. So to your point, there is a there's I mean, you're at least ten of them are
going to be excellent. And he said, what they're what they're seeing is the people who are getting the job have an internal advocate. To your point, like I think about my friend as most recently am my friends most recently who have gotten jobs, someone internally has come in. Because I'm looking around, I'm like, okay, there's four hundred people obviously now, but ten of these people are great.
But if one of them has a friend who's excellent, who works here, who says you really should consider such and such, that makes me makes it easier because they're like, well, you're good, and you're suggesting them because now you're putting your job on the line, you know, So now you have this internal advocate. So all of my friends recently they've gotten new jobs, there has been an internal advocate or some sort of external advocate that knows somebody internally
that allows them to get over the last hump. So you know, that's the thing. It really is like you got to know somebody and so you really should be I know, Mandy, you've said this so many times before here on the show, but also to your Mandy moneymakers. Is that like let people know you're looking. Let's your friends, your friend's friends, your friends, like, let them make the phone call and reach out and you should get such
and such. He's amazing. So yeah, I know that the advice that you give a lot.
To brag on yourself, and I'll give it again till I'm blue in the face, because it's still hard. And it's one thing because we're so good at advocating for others women I'm talking about women of color in general, Like we love to cheer each other on, but when it comes time for us to need something, it is
really hard. I see it every day, you know you, Mandy money Makers recently were let go and I hopped on a call with them to kind of talk them through the severiance agreement and stuff, and one of them was like, you know, should I post it on LinkedIn? Like should I let people know? She was feeling the shame of it, you know, because she had been through my coaching really active on LinkedIn and sharing her wins.
And I was like, oh, hell, yes, you need to, but you own the story when you post about it. You own the story in terms of I've been let go, but here's what I've accomplished in the last you know, one and a half years that I've been here, and now I'm looking I can't wait to bring this value to another team. And when I tell you, she already has an interview with one of her top companies. Yes I was. I was like, yeah, yes because someone Yes, because someone saw her post who knew the head of HR.
She didn't know the head of HR, but someone she knew was connected to them, and so when they posted on her comments and on her post that HR person, it showed up in their feed. And I'm like, this is why we be out there on the LinkedIn streets, okay, sharing and as an uncomfortable as it is, Yeah, vulnerability can can pay off in that way.
I love that. Should we take a break so we can do brown boots brown break? We haven't done when in so long?
Oh, I gotta think of something.
Yeah, let's do it.
All right, we be right back in black for more. We're back and now it's time to boost up. Break up, boost up, break up, boost up? Break Are you gonna boost? Are you gonna break?
What you're gonna do? What you're going to see? I'm going to boost. I'm trying to think I'm gonna make
this okay. So I have this opportunity where I get to contract out if you live in the Tri state area, especially New Jersey, I'm gonna be doing this like two year your summer program, all things personal finance for elementary, middle school, and high school, right, and so I get to hire other financial education I love that, you know, and so I'm just like, you know, so I'm actually gonna put it out there, you know, go ahead on
and contact me. You can sign to my DMS or just email me Tiffany at the Bunchanista that I'm so glad that I'm in a space now where I get to pass on opportunities. So if you're a financial educator, if you have a curriculum, it doesn't have to be K through twelve, but if you have an elementary school curriculum and then a high school clipper or middle school, either one of those three or all three all together, and especially if you are open to teaching that curriculum
in person, it would be a new jersey. Let us just to know, because I'm going to be hiring because I got this great opportunity and I get to bring on a team, and I'm like, I don't want to do all the work myself. I'm much rather slide some coins on to y'all. So that's my boost, that the opportunity to be able to put on other people, and just the gratefulness that these things come to me and then I can share them as well. So, like I said, if you if that sounds like you are somebody you know,
go ahead and share. Now here's the thing. I gotta make a choice by the end of the month. So if you're listening to this like ten years from now.
By, you get an extra Yeah, you get an extra day.
Yeah, So February twenty what is it, the twenty ninth? Is that? Okay? Yeah, so February twenty ninth, because I got to make my decision by March fifth, So I'm gonna at the end of the twenty ninth, I'm not making I'm not taking any on any new folks. So so yeah, so if you're interested, email me Tiffany at the Budgetista dot com and yeah, and just tell me yes, I have a curriculum, or yes I have a curriculum and I want to teach or whatever, and then we'll see.
We'll see I mean cool, I mean extra well, your this is brown ambishion. Everyone is welcome. I'll just say everybody's welcome.
We got it. I thought this show was all about just saying the things I know.
Yes, ideally, because you can be working with children of color yeah, that's always like an amazing opportunity to im just like I don't know, it takes a lot out of each of it.
I spent twenty minutes with like some four year olds reading a book to them, and the energy I went I was trying to I really was bringing out my inner tab at the brown and it was a lot of fun. But the way I needed to nap after that, my introverted self.
He's not free school teacher. It's not for the faint of heart.
It's a lot of introverted school teacher for little kids. How is that? And then you got to go home and his teacher has like three kids of her own. Imagine God bless. I went right to her Amazon wishless and I stopped her up. I'm like, let me get you some things to distract them.
But because they got a love on their baby, baby said love on there and they just be loving on the I mean, I love my kids. There was nothing I wouldn't give it. I'm like, oh, baby girl, I'm gonna get you that. Do you want what? And so? But I couldn't even make it all the way home. There used to be a Walmart parking lot where I would it was. My house is a forty like a
forty minute drive home twenty minutes in. I'm like, I used to pull into the parking like the secret little spots park and take a nap, a thirty minute nap to make it the rest of it.
That's yes, I mean that's just safe driving. You know, it's very responsible. But I've never felt more. Yeah, I see, I see you, and I have been that person in the parking lot of BJ's. I'm not going to tell you all the spot, but the trick is don't go to the back of the parking lot though, because that's where the weirdos hang out. Yes, you need to go to the front. Yeah, I'm going to do. I want to do a little boost for the book that I did end up reading in Rio's classroom. It was such
a beautiful book. It was called a Computer called Catherine. So it's about Catherine Johnson, the mathematician who you know the whole movie about her, Taraji p Henson played her and Hidden Figures. And it's such a lovely book. I'm going to figure out the author beautifully illustrated. The story is so cute, perfect for kids. I was a little stressed about like, how do I I want to go in there and read a story. I don't want to tell them about black history ones like they're four years old.
You know, I'm not trying to. But I did talk about how we all have different skin colors and how sometimes or in the past, if you had different skin colors, you'd be treated differently. People didn't want you to go to school. And you know, I was like, and everyone started holding up their little hands and like I have Peach scan, I have tan scan.
It was so Cat was like me, I saw the victory. I was like, I know, he's like my mom's at school.
The way he kept trying to interrupt me, I was like, you know, like, yes, mom, I know a computer called Katherine. It is by Susanne Slade with illustrations by Veronica Miller Jamison. Just a beautiful book. So if you're looking for a good and what I loved is is about a woman of color. His class is eleven girls, five boys. The estrogen is on another level. I don't know four year olds have that yet, but anyway, so I just loved It's a great example of and you know, a girl
who's into math and all that. Let me do a boost for that. Let me do a boost for m. Do I go like funny or do I go serious? I'll go serious, So tiff nos, because I talked to you the other today, and I'll try to do it a lot quicker than the winding conversation I trapped Tiffany into last week. But my mindset, I've been working on a new mindset about motherhood and business owner and author.
And the very simple way to describe it is like I've spent a lot of time or I find myself kind of getting into like resent full mindsets, like where I resent the lack of time I have, and I you know, I feel like time is is my anxiety right. Time is constantly chasing me down. I'm trapped between two walls.
And you know, a daytime, like a day for me is after the kids are dropped off at school and when I have to pick them up, and it feels like I'm in Indiana Jones and the walls are kind of and the clock is ticking and I'm just getting squished and there's not enough time to do all the things I want to do and I could do so much more if I just had more time. Blah blah,
blah blah blah. Well, one thing that has really just like clicked for me in the past week has been this space of appreciation and gratitude for the children I have, for the life I have, and for the ability that I have to do the things like to do the mom stuff, to do the go to Rio's school and read to him, and you know, take Remy a new outfit when he has a blowout diaper and he's run through all of the sparclothes, and to kind of accept and appreciate and just shift from I have to do
these things. There's not enough time to I am able. I get to do these things. And I'm taking that approach not just to the home stuff but my work life. You know, I was talking to my publisher, Krashan at Hashet. Shout out to Kashan, and I went to their offices and it was so cool to see the office. I mean, eight year old me was just singing. I was so happy just to be that in that space, and I was like, I don't feel like I have to write this book. I feel like I get to write this book.
What a privilege I get to write this book. I get to spend time creating content that can help people because somehow I get to do this business and I get to do a podcast with you that helps pay the mortgage, you know, like I get to do these things and it sounds real simple, But I feel like I lost that gratitude mindset and I found it again, and I have been totally. My husband's like, what's different.
I'm like, I worked on myself. I stopped expecting other people to fix, you know, my struggles, and just like change my mindset and it's really really working. So if that sounds like you, and it sounds like something you're struggling with and it's frustrating to hear, but sometimes it has to start with you and the way that you were thinking about things and how much that's causing the stress and the anxiety. And I can't wait to tell my therapist about it. She'll probably be so proud.
You know, we talked about that perspective is so because I remember I told you that when Maid Whole came out, I was so stressed and was so overwhelmed, and so I didn't want to do it. I'm not gonna lie. I was like, I mean I wanted to. I wanted the workbook to be out there to help people, but I didn't want to market it, and I thought like, oh my god, it's so much. But then when gegr Money came out to your prior girl, it was way more. I mean, I did like eighty podcasts, like every show
you can imagine, and I didn't feel overwhelmed. Did I feel like it was a lot of work. But I was having such a good time. Remember I came up here excited, and when I said what was the difference, it was the perspective one Gerrau was still here. I didn't realize that when Maide Whole came out, he passed away in November November sixteenth, and made Whole came out November twenty. First, I didn't give grief enough credit that I didn't realize that I was. That time of year
was hard. I didn't honestly, I was like, what's wrong with you? Tifany that? Like, girl, why did you have this book come out in November? You know, because that doesn't make sense, you know, because I was heavily grieving, but did not know that I was, because I was like, oh, it's been two years. Of course, I know I'm always gonna grieve, but I didn't realize that. I didn't know that grief could have a heavier weight during times a year.
I guess I just always felt like you're just always grieving. It's like, no, there are times of year that it's greater than others. So I say all that to say that my perspective was these two books. One that was way more work didn't feel like work, and one that was way less felt like too much work because of my perspective. So absolutely it's the internal work. You know that. It's like how you see and feel a thing is
how it shows up for you externally. And knowing that I'm more mindful, like are there any other trigger days like our anniversary, his birthday? Like let me be mindful? Like girl, Like if you're feeling heavy and you're like I don't know what's wrong, you know like, oh, this could be the reason. And so I love that that you're realizing that, like, okay, that this internal work, you know, my perspective will shift how I see and how I navigate the world. And you don't ever want to be
right about the wrong thing. You ever see somebody who was like, well everything just sucks, It's like, well, why would you want to win that battle. That life is terrible. I don't want to win that battle. I don't want to as Monique.
Yeah, it's just didn't like the way my it was bad. It was just you're like dragging yourself down.
Yeah, it's like you argue for your own limitations. That's what this woman told me. It was a life changing sentiment. I was going back and forth here. I was like, oh, this is not working. The business is not doing so good. And she was like, why don't you try this? I was like, no, that's not going to work. Why don't you going to work? She said, Oh, I get it. I'm not doing this with you. You're arguing for your own limitations.
I was like, that's exactly what I'm doing doing. I was like, Wolse is always dirty. It's just going to be dirty. Yes, it doesn't matter if I clean it. And now I live in a dirty house and I'm a dirty person and knowing I.
Mean, And she's like, why would you want to win that war?
Oh? Yeah, you win.
You're right, life's surrendered, yes, and so one you realize I'm like, I don't want to argue for I don't want to win if I'm arguing for less of a life for myself. Why would I want to win that? And so I'm like, no, we're not doing that, Tiffany. No, So I love that. So I just say all that that's to say that I love that.
As I mopped the floor, I'm like, this might be a little too far. I'm like, I'm so grateful I have a floor. Yeah, I look at this house that we bought, and let's take some pride in it.
To the fact that I don't think we take for granted the fact that you can walk, you can see, you can hear, you can.
Yes, you know what I mean.
Like, there's so much like, you know, we I think about that all the time. I have friends who have trouble walking, you know, my friends who have trouble seeing, Like they're like, I'm slowly losing my sight. I have friends who you know what I mean, and it's just like, Wow, we take for granted a thing until that thing is not there.
Can I just say, for the record, I'm really grateful for my left hip because she is very creaky and I need her to last me another like fifties. And I'm like, baby girl, you like need to work on this. I want to help you.
I will say that if you have me. So if you have a treadmill, walking backwards helps to actually strengthen your knees. Because I helped. My knees were creaky.
I said, I know everything is weak as my body is. I need to do heavy weight lifting it is, Yes, I need to.
Jumping rope helps too, you know, with them with bone density. Just so you know, I.
Did go through a jump rope phase.
Yeah, we take I love that, you said. I was looking at my jump with the other day.
It was looking at girl. Yes, you know.
I told us, I said, let me get my osteoporosis, anti osteoporosis, or I wanted to get my jump.
Listen, if you want to rock with us into our forties and fifties, they're going to have a lot of paramenopozzle, osteoporosis, bone density, chatter, and y'all welcome to come along.
Okay, Because as a as a terror taper that Brown calls it Perry. She said, why ain't y'all tell me about Perry? Got over here sweating, not sleeping to the night.
I love it so much, the bridge so that I can follow behind me.
So I love that she's normalizing. I'm like, oh, is that Perry. I don't know if I'm in Perry. I guess I got ask my doctor. I don't think so. But you never know. You never have mercy. But we're gonna see you guys on Friday for b A q A. Thank you for rocking with us. You know, from single girls out and about to marry, girls in the house to Mama's to Lord Creaky. We're gonna be the nursing home like, hey, y'all, Hey, hey, what's my name again? What day is it?
I don't want to hear this time for the q A baby, I went.
Y'all on Friday, So can you lay there? Bye?
Mhm