Hey, hey, hey.
We're back. We're rusty and happy New Year. I missed you so much.
Now.
First of all, I wish you guys could see because Mandy has her hair straight end. I feel like, you know what I want to start. Call this Mandy cam hm. So Mandy's hair girl.
In my pretty school. Uh pbs special battery.
But her hair is so long and so full luxurious. It's giving, pelt, it's giving, thick, it's giving.
Yeah, it looks so beautiful straight.
Let me show you what it's First of all, for you guys to know, happy New Year. This feels like a new year, New me situation. I don't really usually believe in that ship. However, if you haven't tried five day a week daycare for you were seventh month old baby,
is this very specific advice? Try it? Because I feel brand fucking oh my god, the way that I just in my like the way that I brushed my teeth when I wanted to today and then took a shower when I wanted to, and I kept hearing phantom baby cries. But uh, I'm so happy remy rue is in daycare for the low low price of Are you ready for this? How much three thousand, two hundred forty five US American dollars a baby, Jesus, Yes, a month, just for just
for remy. Do you know what my mortgages less than that?
Oh my god? How people with kids?
Holy shit. I could go on, I could go on, but you know what, it's an investment and hey, book advance money. Thank you because that's what you buy me. That's what you bought me. Yeah, yeah, yea, yeah, yeah, that's that's what we could get the cheaper place. The wait list was full, et cetera. But he's so you know, he's a dream.
Wow. I didn't know. I remember when Carol had the two kids in daycare. At the time, it was twenty three hundred dollars. But that was for two kids.
For two of them. Lord, So infants are more expensive, that's true, I think so. Which why because they're less annoying?
Yeah?
Because honestly, babies, I mean it's.
Especially in the winter time. There should be a discount because them little toddlers, they have to put mittens hats. Like I watched the train of children go out and I just asked them, how long did it take you? Have you been in there for an hour? Getting them dressed or like, yeah, gotta have that that outside time.
Well, how was your your Christmas in New Year? It's over.
That's all I care to say about the holidays, and I don't want to. Typically I'm very sunshine and optimism, but their holidays were rough, augh and partly because we traveled with I travel I should say, alone with my two children from New York to Atlanta, which I've done with Remy like three times in the last few months. But actually I wanted tom blame the kids. They were the easy part. I've got some dream babies, like, oh, they're just the best. But the airports and the packing,
the packing, Tiffany, the number of suitcases. I just kept saying, and there's gotta be more, because it was like and then the breast pump and then the travel crib. And I thought I was saving so much space by buying a car seat in Atlanta for my dad, you know, to put in his car because he was picking us up. But yeah, I get there and not only is he forty five minutes late, the man didn't have time to install the car seats. So guess who after being out since two am and we got in Atlanta two am,
to finish the packing. Because the packing packing, I arrived to wait forty five minutes for my dad. And by the way, Atlanta Airport, you suck. Why are there no areas for Why are there no porters with carts like there are at LaGuardia. Yeah, Freckles, Yes, his name is Freckles Freckleton at the LaGuardia Airport. That's my guy. He recognized me and Remy. He's like, I've seen you here a few times. I'm like, yeah, bring the cart around, Freckles. He takes you to the checkout, you know, the check
in area. Atlanta is like me and I felt like those people who sell mango on the highway just people cruise them by, like got no time, And however I had to. When I got to Atlanta, I was like, I have forty five minutes and Rio's starving, and I have all these bags and I can't care in a stroller. I couldn't get from like where we were at baggage claim just to go to anti An's to get this boys some pretzel nuggets because he was about to turn into like an insane person. However, I went into the
wheelchair as system. You know, when you're walking in somewhere and you know they don't want to see you, and then and you know that they're going to give you attitude, and you know they're going to say, this isn't my job. Go somewhere else. Nachelle at the Atlanta air for Nichelle with an n I love you, baby girl, thank you
so much, because you almost were blowing me off. But I kind of I just like I didn't touch you because we don't want to do that, but I like stopped you with my eyes and I said, I know I'm not supposed to be here. I know this isn't your job, but I look at these babies. Help me, Michelle, and then dang, I forgot the guy's name who helped
us with our bags and then escorted us out. Just yes, that was those those two people, and the random guy who held Rety getting onto the plane and the random woman who helped him when I got off the plane. Thank you, thank you. Oh yeah. It was so it was just exhausting, but they had one. They had a great time. What about you?
Wait?
YEA, Mine was pretty low key because I stayed in Jersey, my mom was in Nigeria, and my sister Lisa were in Nigeria.
Yeah, so, and so it.
Was myself, my sister Carol Roman, and a million My sister Karen flew up for New Year's which was nice, oh, from Chicago with Lily. So it was nice for all the cousins. I know, it was all nice for all the cousins, you know, to to hang out. So it was cute.
I it must be nice being the point of destination.
It is, honestly, because I could just go up to this.
I know, I'm like, why are we the ones with all the crap having to travel? I'm like, I know my house is small, but I mean pitch a tent like.
I've always like, come here. I sent an uber for my dad to come to the house. It was good, honestly. Christmas, I mean it was good. I did. I certainly had I'm trying to think of how I say it, because I'm like, because I don't want.
Nobody to tell.
But I had a really tough conversation, you know. I feel like this Christmas or this holiday season was a lot of family conference.
We're going there.
We both keep a light light because yeah, but because somebody I'll be some tattletales.
But already a weekend. The Christians flights are coming down? Can't we just forget?
So I had some but I was really proud of myself because if you know me, you know I don't do tough conversations, especially not family ones. But I initiated it and I closed it, and I was so.
Proud of myself.
I slayed the dragon and I said, wait, I talk to doctor Green. I have I see here. Well, by the time y'all listen to this, it'll be Wednesday when I have my therapy.
I was just really proud of myself.
I said, yes, you said the things, Tiffany. It's it's just a new day, and I'm just excited. There's some big changes coming to me professionally and personally and personally.
Are we no, I'm not getting married?
A saying no I know about? Are you at least acknowledging something.
That I'm dated?
I'm dated?
Okay?
You go on podcast fish Okay, Yeah, I mean, like you know, I was lightly dating before. And it's funny because I have a friend named Tammy who's a widow as well, and she her husband actually passed away a year ago, a year and some change, and so she had gotten asked out by like a childhood friend. And at first she you know, she called me. She was like, I'm definitely gonna say no. I should say no, right, I said, well, she said, do you think it's disrespectful
for him to ask me? I said, well no, because you know it's been over a year, and you know your husband is not here. He's not asking you out while you are currently your husband is currently here, and you do get to decide.
She's around my age as well, So I said, you don't.
There are there are some women who just decide, or not just women, the widowers, that decide that they will never engage with anybody else again, which is obviously you're right, But I said, you know, you're still young, so you get to decide engage, you know, but you know what I mean, like date or or do you know, go out or whatever, you know.
But I just be with yes.
And so I think in the beginning, especially for the first year, you tell yourself never at at least that's what I said, never ever.
Ever, I don't even want to date.
I don't want to see anybody else because draw was all that I ever hoped for and dream for and literally prayed for and so I just didn't think, how could it be possible?
You can't get that twice?
And certainly, no, you can't get Jarrell twice, but it is possible to love again, you know. And I thought to myself, if I had this amazing love with Jerrell, do I want to go the rest of my life while I'm here without experiencing that again? And over time it took me, like, you know, maybe like almost two years to like really decide I don't want to not
experience that again. I don't know, like you know, we're I just know I don't want to not experience that again because for me, like life with Jarrell was so much better than life without him, you know, like partnership for me with the right person made life so beautiful, like I could take on the world, you know, as Mandy, you heard me and Mandy talk about this book Attached Yes a lot, And so I'm reading. I'm on chapter seven, Mandy,
and it talks about secure attachment. And when I was just listening to that one yes, my favorite secure base go ahead, go ahead.
My favorite line from that that I have been repeating over and over in my head is that a secure person understands that or believes that they are responsible for their partner's happiness. Yes, and that I think that is sort of like it goes against what you typically think about, like you must make yourself perfect and happy before you can be a good partner. And I do believe to
some extent you are responsible for a lot of your happiness. However, let's not get you know, like you were saying, with the right partner, who really cares about your happiness, it matters.
But it does matter, and so much difference.
Yeah, So I just decided that, Like, you know, I'm forty four, not eighty four. If I was eighty four, i'd be like, oh cha, I just sit me down. But I just decided that, like, I don't want to spend the rest of my life without that secure base, because one of the lessons I learned from that chapter, Mandy, is that when you have a secured base, it makes it that much easier to take on the world. I can literally see how my life transformed from when I
moved in with Jeralm. Everything from like everything got better, you know, because he was such a secure base. My business literally went within two years of living with him, from six figures to seven figures because I felt like I could take on the world. Someone always had my back, that no matter what, someone loved me, and so like, yeah, I want the opportunity to have that again. And so yeah,
I've been dating. And at first I just was like a little here and a little there, you know, the ass We talked about it a little, you know, the apps, a little here, a little there, and which was cool.
But you know, like nobody got new work. Yeah no. And then then I is somebody who I knew from some years back asked me out.
And at first I was like nah, just like Tammy, I was like yeah, but then we just started to develop a friendship and so and then I started to tease, like, you know, a few months back that because it's what the young girl say, my man, that's not my man. That's my man, that's not my man.
It's not my man, but you can't have him, right like, and so like literally for my birthday, I got flowers and it was the like m m m t not mom, you know, like this spelled out like that.
I was like, who got me flower? And it was like from your man, that's not your man. And I was just like so I'm so I'm on the fence now, I know. So I was, you know what, So I guess what I'm struggling with is the fear of loss again, you know.
Of course, So like I mean, I don't know, but I am not surprised to hear that.
You know.
That's the part that I'm struggling because I mean, honestly, he's great, He's really smart, You're really sweet, so kind. The thing that made me shift, like my thinking about him was when like I was gonna bring up Jirell for like the teenth time, and then I stopped myself, like, oh, this is probably too much, and he was like, Tiffany, I hope you know that you can talk about Durell as much as you want. I don't ever want you
to not talk about Jerrell. And I'm grateful for him because I get this version of him because of how he loved you.
And so that made me say, like, Okay, maybe there's something here.
You got a keeper. I've been saying it since day one. I'm like, I thought it was hard dating. I thought that the great guys were all taken. That's what I hear. Tiffany's like, h got a perfect one, had a perfect one to begin with, didn't get another one, and.
So that made me say, okay, so it's a safe space for me to grieve openly. I mean, I talk about Jerrell all the time, and I never feel like he's like, ah, right, here we go. It takes a secure person to be in that space. And so the only reason why I still teach that he's my man.
That's not my man.
I'm not dating anyone else, But it's just because I have this fear, you know, like that I've been working through in therapy that to accept somebody as my man.
Then what like.
I am still deathly afraid of loss, you know, and so like that's the hard part getting over and of course getting over the part that's like uh also too, Like y'all know, I bought that condom damn near a year ago, and I've been renovating slow as hell because
it took me a while to realize. I'm like, why I've been like taking so long with this renovation is because I'm not quite ready to leave the house to Draw and I built together, Because in leaving this house, it makes it super real that like, wow, he's really not here. And I think in having like being in a relationship and saying this is my man. It makes it super real that he's really not here, and so that's really hard to like accept. There's still days when
I'm like, wow, Darrell's really not here, you know. And so I think that's the space that I am in now. And so he's been so patient and been so great and you know, so, I mean I guess he. I mean, he's probably because he listens to the podcast. I'm like, all right, you my man, all right.
I'm rooting for you. For you, I mean really, I'm rooting for you, Tiffany. So I think we all and I mean I said it, I think several times. But a world where you're not surrounded by love and loved by an incredible person and have that partnership, it doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't exist, you know. So I know you're going to do the work that you're in. You know, you're doing your work in therapy and that's important.
And I just know that, like through it and on the other side of it, there's joy and there's a continuation of this you know, rich beautiful life that you deserve.
Yeah, he's already met my sisters and they're like, oh, I cam you know, sisters be like, I guess girl, you know. And I met his family like and so they're super fun. So yeah, I think there is light at the end of this dark tunnel of grief. And so I'm just navigating. But some days, I like, I feel so bad because days I'll be like, oh, everything's all good, and I'm like, I don't want to do this anymore. Leave me alone.
He's like, wait, what.
Happened. I'm like, oh no, So yeah, it.
Takes a lot of patience navigating somebody who's lost their partners, so, you know. So yeah, But that's.
That's my update for life. My life update.
Oh man, A lot of life, A lot of stuff I feel like has been happening in the news. I thought we might bring back brown Ambition buzz a little moment and let's start with something cute and light or something a little bit dark and twisty. Well, the most the thing that I can't get out of my head right now is the face of one Jonathan Major's He's doing a toell All interview For those who don't know, have you been listen? Do you not scroll an ig and see all the like posts? About Jonathan Major and
the memes. But yeah, he was convicted of some version of assault. I don't know the particulars of his girlfriend. And then like during the trial there were some there was like a recording that came out a voice memo or something. Yeah, she recorded him basically saying that she needed and she's a white woman. I think, yeah, she's non black. She of him saying, you know, he wants her, she has to behave herself or hold herself like a Kreta Scott King, like a Michelle Obama to his Yes,
you see where this is going. And almost I'm like as bad as the abuse that he was convicted of was like that attitude. Who anyway, But the clip that they showed this tell all interview that he's giving, he's like talking about his new girlfriend. He's dating Megan Good. Yeah okay, and he's like, I found her. That's my Coreta Scott King for me.
I wish he would keep that lady's name out here.
So we're doubling down. We're doubling down, are we? Oh?
I wish he would keep that lady's name out of his mouth. So one of my friends posted today, Dimitria. She wrote I helped one of the King family members be like, stop mentioning my family. He did not do I have a dream for this.
And desist. I don't know what to say about it other than he.
You know, destroyed his own career.
I really loved him. I'm mad at him because like I had just what because I'm so late, I think I had just watched the Creed that he was in. I don't. I'm not going to pretend like I know all about the Marvel stuff he was going to be in Marvel. I just really watching him as an actor, and he was in that movie that show black Craft, country love Craft, country Craft. Anyway, he was just so incredible and you want someone started continue rizing and you
know it's it's his own doing. Am I gonna watch this? Tell all? Would you watch it? I kind of feel like I'll watch on TikTok after for the highlights. I'm curious. I'm curious for what he says. I I wonder from you, Tip, do you think career over is just like do you think he deserves a done career, like he should go get a job at subway slinging sandwiches? How do you feel?
I don't know I think there are certain things where I'm like definitely over career, like a like a h who's our m B singer Chris Brown, No or Kelly. So there are some people who are like career over for sure, for sure, I'm start jail, well yeah, yes and so, and then there are some people who I'm just like, I don't know, I don't have like I don't think we should ever have judgment, but I do sometimes, But I don't have like career over judgment for him.
I think that, I mean, the part that came out that was kind of like, oh wow, is that you know he went to either Yale, I forget what school or Columbia or something, and people who knew him then, you know, kind of came forward and said that he's been abusive for a very long time that they're so glad that it's kind of finally come out. And so I think, bigger than anything, as I hope that man
gets some help before he hurt someone else. You know, there's some people who I'm like, I want help for, and there's some people who all want under the jail, like R Kelly out.
You know, I don't care.
About under the under the jail for r Kelly, you know, you know, but so long, I mean, and babies, you know, literally keep people's kids. And so I feel like for Jonathan Major's I feel like that if he can get some help, there's redemption for those who seek it. And so, you know, I don't know, maybe that's there's something there for him.
So yeah, but I just Voldemort had to do was feel remorse for all he had done, and he couldn't do it. You know what I'm saying that some.
People want to stand ten doos down in their wrongness, you know. And so but speaking of tell all, girl, did you see Kat Williams on Club.
This is the one I'm not caught up on.
I watch it.
I don't care what it means. I don't I did not I did not know about that radio show with Shannon Shannon Sharp.
Well that's the first time I ever watched it. But yeah, I don't know if it's radio. Maybe it's a podcast. I'm not sure.
But it's called Club Shape.
Okay. Kat Williams was on there. What he said, what all he had to say?
So if anybody follows Kat Williams, you know, if Kat Williams is a damn fool, he is hilarious, So it was a mix of him doing kind of like stand up, although I'm sure he wouldn't say that's what it was. He went on there to do an interview and Kat Williams came with a suitcase full of grudges.
Oh, I mean, Shannon.
Was like, good morning Kat, and Kat was like f Steve Harvey entertainer.
We were like, wait, he didn't have.
It just Kat's career right now. Like, I know, he's a famous stand up and probably a gajillionaire, but where's he at in his career?
I don't know.
So he said that he's currently I guess he's taping a Netflix special, a figure Netflix special coming up. So he's been very successful also too, he was in a oh it was a show where he got nominated for a Emmy. No, I think he won the Emmy. And so Kat is just a really talented, hilarious, funny comedian. And so it was such an interesting master class of when someone had a clear agenda when they came onto a show and.
Navigated that interview how he wanted it to go. It is.
I mean, the last time I check, it was over twenty million views in less than a week. It was like over ten million I think the first day. And he had a clear agenda of comedians that he did not have respect for that he wanted to expose and he did. But also he was also hilarious and funny. I mean he there were so many memes that came out of it, like, Shannon, you have an unnatural allegiance with losers and that's not like you.
I mean, the.
Okay, so Shannon, I think.
So I'm not going fami. From what I know, Shannon used to be an NFL player, you know, and then he was like on one of those like sports talk shows or whatever, and then something happened where he left or he got kicked off or whatever, and then started his own like show, splash, podcast whatever, which is this club station, and what I normally have seen from clips, it's a lot of athletes that were coming on, but also entertainers. So I'm not you know, I'm not super
familiar with Shannon or his platform. It's just that because this show came out, I actually watched. You have to not just watch, but listen to the whole thing, and it was a masterclass of just shenanigans. I mean, so just watch it.
You're gonna be like, oh my god, cat, don't do that.
Like I'm sure half of what he said was not true because half of it was embellished obviously and like I as comedians are apt to do. But there was a lot of things there that you're like, oh wow, you know, like comedians that stole his jokes that he was angry at and to us we think, like, what's the big deal. But for comedians that's your currency. That's like someone stealing like you know, the my literature challenge and using it as theirs the thing that you created that draws people to you.
And so yeah, there was just a lot of exposing.
No. One of my one of my favorite lines, he said, he said, my goal when I left Hollywood was to not suck any beat and to leave with my virgin, my butthole still a virgin. He said.
This is my goal in being Hollywood.
He said, because and then he said this, he said, because he Diddy is gonna want a party, and you got to tell him no. You got to tell him no the way I howered, Oh.
Another reputation that was doing.
I mean, so it's just you have to go.
That's what happened he's gone, well, yeah, so apparently so Dave Chappelle Styler kind of.
That basically, how we all have heard the stories about how toxic and terrible Hollywood is, so he basically was exposing it from the comedian's perspective.
That's really the purpose.
Of this interview scene to be to expose Hollywood, Hollywood from the comedian's perspective, but in a way that was funny and entertaining, but also like a cautionary tale of like one of the reasons why it might not be as big as some of your biggest is because I said, now, it's because I wouldn't do so and things, and so that was kind of like the premise.
I honestly think taking the high road. This is one of those situations where it's kind of like an exit interview, and it's like, is it ever really worth it to tell everyone how you feel about everything? I just feel in the end it hurts you, you know, because then I'm just thinking like it kind of it's it sounds like a sore loser kind of situation where you're like, well, I would have been bigger if everybody else da da da da da, you know, but I have to.
Watch it, because I feel like he walked the very thin fine line of sounding bitter but not quite.
Okay, No he went on some rampage.
No, because he's just honestly was also hilarious and calm. And and then what came out afterwards is that so many people, so many comedians, young comedians and and just other people came out to say how many times that Cat Williams had helped them and sent them money and without you know, them knowing, like they would do maybe a set. You know, you're you're at a comedy club
and they're not paying you. You know, you do an amazing set, and he would have somebody come over give you a thousand dollars, but not let that person tell you it was from him, you know. And so that he did that a lot, and so a lot of people came forward and was like, you know, Kat has been so generous with his time, his resources, his energy, his whole life. So that was really nice to see too. So, yeah, that was just hilarious.
If you want another perspective on comedy, I really I started to listen to Leslie Jones' book, Leslie Fucking Jones, and just the first like I think I'm on the chapter like four, I'm where she's playing basketball in high school. This is so funny. That got me through an all night I was cleaning my dad's kitchen back to the holidays. Why am I re traumatizing myself? I cleaned my dad's kitchen from ten pm to four am, I said, Mary Grimos here, I am. I'm up on your floor for
the fifth time. So gross. Anyway, she got me through that with her book, And anyway, in the beginning, she talks about Chris Rock and how you know, he was sort of her mentor and then like her perspective as a working successful but like not like you know, a list comedian and how they get like the travel and the and the fighting for your fees. I just, yeah, I would recommend that it's really good and really funny because I.
Think that was like a big theme of that's how they break about pay right. Because Taraji came out.
That thank you for segueing three on my list.
I don't even know you had a last but here.
We are, yes, mom, brain, Yeah, Taraji, Taraji, Taraji tell us about it. TEF.
So Taraji was doing this interview and she kind of broke down and She shared how they don't make as much as you think that you might take home as little as ten percent of whatever your contract was. She said, you know, let's just say you get a million dollars to do a film, right, and then you know, you have a representation that's usually like ten or fifteen percent, right, and then an attorney is five percent usually they take and then you might have a publicist, you might have
social media. By the time you would it all down that million dollars, you might only pocket one hundred thousand, you know, in that you know.
So I remember I saw my friend Yvonne.
Og she had posted that like on average, she takes home only thirty percent of like whatever her contract is after everything else is paid. And I thought, wow, because sometimes we see like, oh my gosh, you know, you got a million dollars, you know, but not knowing this person took home one hundred thousand. Now here's the thing. You might be like, well, that's still one hundred thousand, but Taraji's not getting paid a million. That's just some
numbers I'm sharing. Like, So she did Benjamin Button. Then she went like an Academy Award for that.
She was nominated but dominated yeah.
And it was an amazing movie. If you haven't seen that movie, brad Pitt got paid ten million. She got one hundred and fifty thousand, and so what is ten percent of one hundred and fifty thousand. Isn't that fifteen thousand for like.
Six months of your life because you got to be on set and then more time to promote it. Yes, and on top of that being a black woman, I'll just note it's ten percent of a fee that's already going to be diminished because you don't look like the you know, you're not going to do well overseas as they say about black films.
Yeah, so it's just really I said, there was a lot of sympathy, but some people were like, oh, Taraji's networth, it's twelve million dollars.
I'm like, y'all won't believe any memes.
First of all, what that's just somebody's just slapped down on in font Times New Roman Fond. You know, it just had you realize because there are there's this great book called The Millionaire next Door where they talk about that there are some professions that it's harder to become a millionaire because of the maintenance of the profession, you know. You know, So for example, when I was teaching preschool and I was driving my you know, ninety nine toyo
to camera, nobody cared. I'm a preschool teacher. I used to literally wear scrubs like nurses, scrubs like my uniform. I had five of them. I watched them every week. Nobody cared because I was a preschool teacher. That was our uniform. And so I used to save most of my money invested. In like two and a half years of teaching preschool, I had gotten up to thirty thousand dollars set aside.
So but if you.
Are, say like a plastic surgeon or something like that, you know, if you're driving a ninety nine tol you to camera, you know, people are going to wonder, like, is your business doing well? There are certain things that you have to There's a look that you have to present that's very expensive. So imagine a Hollywood actress. She has to have her lashes done, her brows have to stay them, her skin has to look good. So there's a lot of maintenance just to be able to be
considered for jobs that cost. On top of the fact that and I saw this happening in the finance space. I don't know if you've seen this, Mandy, this whole I have a manager, I don't you know. So like so there's one of my mentees had a manager, which can be helpful depending on what you're doing. But a cotition manager, yes, But the issue was that the manager wasn't bringing her into work, but was getting still fifteen percent of any work that came.
Into her that he or he or she did not know. Okay, and so you.
Know, And so now here's the thing. In general, there's usually a mix. Your manager brings in things, so you bring in some things. They helped to negotiate the contract on both, but she realized after a year he had brought nothing to the table.
He got to eat fifteen percent either way.
And so I have someone who I use as like an odd ad hoc manager, and that she only gets paid her fifteen percent on the contracts I sent to her to negotiate. If I have some partners that I've worked with for a number of years, I feel comfortable negotiating the contract myself. I get my money, I get to keep it all. And then with Ellie, you know, I only send her certain things so I'm like, this
is this is a lot of rigmarole. Go ahead and negotiate, and Ellie's really good about not only negotiating, but negotiating above and beyond what they're typically trying to offer. So it offsets the payment of fifteen percent to her, you know, but if you have a manager and you are a Hollywood starlet or whatever, that's how it goes. Anything that comes in, they're getting percentage either way, whether they brought it in or not, and so they could just get to be really.
She fired her whole team, she said, yeah, after Empire, and you know what I think about it, And I'm like, yeah, where was her? Why wasn't she on the lorel commercial? Viola Davis got that after you know, what's that show with the Llawyer? It's not The Good Life?
How to kill oh?
To get away with?
Yeah, I'm like, how to kill a millionaire?
And the marketing budget for you, I don't know whatever? Yeah, but she yeah, I you know, and I and I think people don't. They reacted poorly to that, Like, you know, it just goes against it goes against that idea of a woman just being grateful, you know. Fuck that that's the twenty four motto, like you don't have to be grateful and you deserve and you know what, also, you may not want to act for your entire life. And the older you get, it's almost like being a gymnast
or something in Hollywood. The older you get, the less capable you are of doing the hoops and the looped loops, and the more tired you are. You don't want to work forever, but you know you you hope to. That's why you see. You know, she launched her own damn hair, Caroline tph available at Target. Like I respect that a lot about her, and I just think the chatter, the blah blah blah blah, that's always going to happen, But
I don't care. Pay her what she deserves and find a team and find people if they're not even if they represent a bunch of other people that are very incredible. I feel like at the end of the day, if if you don't feel like they are. And this also applies to people working nine to five with your manager. If there's not someone who you know is going to bat for you when you're not in the room, like that's not that's an indication that you're not going to
be taken care of. You're not going to go very far. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can excize that person or quit that job and you know, move on where you do have advocates because we just can't be we can't be lied to and de lie to ourselves and say that we're better off just being grateful and not pushing back. It's the nice thing to do. Don't want to burn bridges all that bs.
But it's like, man, you stay in that space. I mean, that's been the story of my life, you know that, like, oh, there's safety and silence, like even like I told you, like I had my difficult conversation on Christmas and one of my sisters was like, oh, sometimes it's just better to keep the peace, Tiffany, I said, but who's peace?
Who's for?
Who? Who's it better for?
Yes?
I said, I feel peaceful right about now because I said my piece.
Yes.
So it's like they're gonna be all right. And guess what they were. They were all right, We're cool now, you know, But a boundary has been said because I cannot move forward any longer.
I have made so many changes.
Mandy knows like so many changes behind the scenes of like what my boundaries will and will not allow, And I just don't want to live the second half of my life constricted by you know, what the people gonna say.
Yeah, you know, that's what I call it, Like what the people gonna say, and.
Like, oh, you're talking about their feelings and not yours, and keep the peace for who.
Yeah, people think about themselves way more than they think about you. They might think of you for two minutes today, So for two minutes, I'm going to live my whole life because for two minutes somebody might think ill of me. Like I just I cannot, I will not, and neither should you. And I'm so glad that Taraji said something.
And what I love is that y'all who listen. You know, you give us such great feedback of how we've been able to like encourage you and push you to ask for more, Encourage you and push you to look at your finances differently, you know, give you the tools and the resources that you need.
To get what you deserve.
Like you know, the people are always going to say something, but not in twenty twenty four.
We're not living constrained by what the people are gonna.
Say, let them to walk.
Yeah, let them to walk, Let them to.
Walk, Let the girls chatter in the comments and just sip your champagne like Taylor's whipped out the globes last night. Claudine Gay Harvard, can we please.
Ooh the way?
Yeah, texted my one of my good friends, not the lie, one of my one of my former mentors. We've like sort of you know how you like go. Everyone knows that you get older and you lose touch, but you still love those people. Anyway. She's one of the founding editors at the Nineteenth, which is the this women led, women founded media platform that covers just all sorts of things.
But I was like, if you're covering that, she was uncovering Claudine Gay at Harvard, And I'm like, when you write your tell all about how black women are doomed to fail and just about any industry that we go into will be the first usability. But yeah, Claudine Gay resigning from Harvard as the first black female president less than what how long did she make? Six seven months?
I mean, the shortest tenure in their history.
Jesus. And if that it's so, it's like, why prove every like we already knew that. I feel like, as black women, that our mistakes are always bigger, We're always judged at the highest bar. There's no one who will find the fine print in a contract or in whatever social code or moral code, whatever. There's no one who will look more diligently at the fine print than someone trying to steal a position of power from a woman
of color, you know what I mean? Like this whole bullshit around her and let me get back up the bullshit around her citations and her work. But Claudine Gay, first black president of Harvard, black female as well, was she was on She was being what do you call it when they're like asked to come to Congress and testify and answer questions from what do you call that? Oh?
I don't know, I forget what it is, but I know you mean.
They were there. She was there asking questions with several level several other heads of the elite universities, and she flubbed an answer around uh, you know, would she like would she get would it be a violation of student conduct if a student was saying anti Semitic remarks and calling for the genocide of Israel Israelis and you know, Jews, and she flubbed the answer. It was it was not a great answer. It was very like my lawyers prepared me to say this, and I'm too scared to say
what I really think. But the victual and it wasn't just her, it was like the other presidents too. But the immediate vitriol and calls for her removal as the president of Harvard, that wasn't that was part. That was like the first nail in her coffin. And then the trolls got to digging and her whole entire body of work and found a couple of instances where she hadn't properly like cited sources in her research and ultimately in her statement. And also she wrote an op ed for
The New York Times. She talks about her decision to resign, but at the same time, it's like, it's if Harvard can't protect a woman of color and power, like not that I had high expectations, but we're all on watch, be on watch. That's why I do Mandy money Makers. I'm like, be on watch. It is not a fair fight. We should we want to ascend to levels of power, you know, in these institutions. We want to, we deserve,
we work hard for it. I'm not going to begrudge anyone of that ambition to rise and to be a leader, to make, to be a change maker, to be in the room where shit happens. We should all strive for that. However, please don't be surprised when all of a sudden, a technicality or someone with a little bit of power who was never in the room to decide if you got to be in there, finally has an issue with it.
And they hold the money, you know, they hold the control over the people who did choose you, and they decide that no, I actually that's too much, that's not enough. We don't like this. There's this one little thing. They will pull that lever and you will fall down the hatch so fast. What's that in the what's the door the moon door in Game of Thrones. You're not really a TV person?
Yeah, yeah, I didn't really watch, but I know you like that door.
It's just like push the red button bye.
So and it's just it's one of the reasons why I think you and I both kind of decided to do work outside of the confines of that kind of energy.
So many black women. This is why we're the number one like growing, you know, to any community entrepreneurs.
Yeah, honestly, because we're just like, yeah, there's actually no winning here. So I'm going to create my own thing where at least I have a fighting chance because I know that if I work really hard, the budgetiese is going to work one way or another. I don't want to be in a position where I'm like, I can work really hard and do all the right things and
then it can be snatching. It doesn't mean I'm immune because still the space people still try me, Brands still try to get cute, still try to underpay.
But this is why we have conversations.
I'm like, what do I say, man, girl ask for this, you know, because it's just there's no way to escape this in totality.
But certainly I'm trying my best to create that life for myself and then have it reflected in the women that I hire on my team. A safe space. But yeah, when I saw.
That, I was just like, only to find out that, you know, the main guy, I guess that was like you know, campaigning against or his yes, his wife openly plagiarized in her thesis.
I was like, oh, well yeah, And I mean she's like it was three it was one page out of three hundred, and I'm like, oh, well, but the rules are different, you know what I mean, The rules are different, and it depends on well, we don't need it. Yes, the rules are different, and the fine print only matters when people care enough to make it matter, and you're someone that they need to they need to foul out, that they need to get out the game because they
figure you and everything you stand for. And if y'all haven't read Claudines op ed in The New York Times, she talks about that bigger issue so eloquently and ugh, this is real quick to if I not real quick. But I also the other side of this conversation around how we're just you know, you can be fine. You can you can definitely, you can, you can definitely reach
high heights. I feel like in many institutions, as a woman of color, if you work hard enough and you get lucky enough and you know the right people, it's possible. I think both of us, especially me, like we did the damn thing until in my outspeaker for myself, I decided to leave. And one of the questions that I recently got from. I want to call them a mentee.
But someone who I was like offering advice to, was well, I feel like, shouldn't I stay so that I can make it easier for the next to come after me? And you know, and the one hand, I can see that line of thought, but I also feel very at peace with how it's not our responsibility to fix those broken systems, and also we cannot because we do not hold the power. People who don't look like us have to care enough to fix the broken systems. And as long as they don't, why sit there and bang our
fist up against a brick wall. It's not a ceiling, it's a brick wall sometimes, you know. And you had to also make peace with like what I got to a certain level and in corporate my corporate American career. However, along the way, I did feel like I made an impact, just you know, hiring women of color. I made sure. Secretly I was always plotting. I'm like, I'm going to hire a woman of color be my number two because I don't think I'm going to be here for another
three years. And if I can leave here and say that another woman of color took my spot and gets to benefit from the negotiations. I had the clout, I earned the clout, I fought for the respective for and she gets to inherit that then, you know what, I'm good with that, and you know, let the rest of the let everyone else handle the rest. I did what I could with the little bit of power that I had.
But I'm curious to hear your thoughts on that, TIF, Like, do you feel like there's an argument there that we should stick around just to see things through.
I mean, I feel like every fight is not for everybody, and that there are some people who are uniquely qualified maybe to stick around. And it doesn't you know, in order to create space for other women to come behind them, for sure, but not at a detriment to your heart
and your soul and if it's breaking you. Some people play the game well and enjoy that, like, you know, come come get it, you know, like I look at my friend Bosama, you know, from working at Endeavor to Papa John's, I mean, one of the most famous cmos you know out there and every place that she went.
I know, people don't know.
Any other famous cmos. Maybe Cheryl Sandberg. No, she was a COO yeah, yeah, you know, both of them made it possible, like.
Yes, and so a lot of people had so much to say, like, oh, she don't stay in one place, but you don't see behind the scenes the people that she brought in and brought with her intentionally, you know, to be able to hear and talk to her personally, to be like, girl, I made sure this. I made sure that you don't know you know, and so. But then after a while she said it's enough. My heart
and soul said it's enough. So you get to decide if you are going to stay and you are going to do the good work, you are going to fight the fight. You also can decide I've done it, I've done enough. I don't owe my heart and so I don't owe my health, I don't owe my happiness and so.
Yeah.
So I mean, you only you can decide if you have it in you for the fight. And but there are other ways to fight. Just remember that, like you know, Mandy and I are fighting the fight, good fight. On the outside. I like to think about Amanda. Do you ever see like The Lord of the Rings or any of those movies where yes, there's a different plot that we've both seen, like that there's all these different plot lines.
So it's like, okay, like the Wizards had to do this fight, and then the the what are the little known things on the Oh no, like yeah, the L's had to fight this fight. But then like Bilbo Baggins, like no, it's true. Like so they're like basically there's like three or four different storylines fighting the fight, and then it converges at the end. And so just know that you don't have to be in every storyline.
That you could stick right in your lane.
And if you once you get to your place, I promise you your sisters in corporate, you go see them.
You will converge.
Your sisters in in you know, social work, you'll see them. Your sisters also in entrepreneurship, you'll see them. So if we all are in our lanes where we excel and fight that fight there we can converge to create something more powerful. It's okay not to fight and necessary not to fight in every fight, but.
There's a difference between choosing to be there for the fight and being forced to. And because you do have no other options, give yourself options. I feel like it's the key takeaway. Stack your coins so you can hit that eject button your damn self when you're ready, or so that if someone does it before you're ready, that they didn't catch you slipping. That you have something, you have an emergency shoot because you built it yourself. You know,
that's what it's all about. And then find community and others like Brown Ambition, Mandy money Makers, dream Catchers where you can feel like, Okay, I don't have to stay because like, there are so many badasses out there who are fighting the good fight or have chosen to go and you're being in a vacuum. It makes you feel like but I'm the only one who can know. There's so many more of us.
Out, so many more.
That's actually go to my Brown Boost. I have a gift for y'all, So stay aroun for Brown Boost promers. We're gonnak a break in a minute. But yeah, so I got a gift for you to start the new year off. Okay, I love that.
I would love to take a break. And that was Brown Ambition, a buzz worthy little holy but goodie. I just think we should continue doing that.
That was no I think so too.
Yeah, all right, be back in a minute, ba fam, and we're back in black and Brown. Yes, I know right, I felt the harm. Did you see the Color Purple?
No?
I need to girl, I just honestly, I want to go, like on a Wednesday night and no one's there, just so I can watch it without you know. I love my people, but sometimes we do a lot when we watch movies.
I haven't I would, I have not seen it. I'm so mad. Here's my confession, real quick. I know we're going to do bron boos. I want to hear the song. However, my confession is that I saw the Taylor Swift Eras concert movie before Renaissance. Do you want to know why? Because that shit's available on streaming And Beyonce, I did see your show live and I yes, and it will forever be a car memory. That's one of the best days of my life. Five top five. But I it's
so hard to get out to a movie theater. Now that I've got daycare, I get to go like, you know, the eleven thirty showing on a weekday. That's when I thrive. Yeah, so, Color Purple, I'm coming for you, Renaissance. If you're still in theaters, I don't know. I'm gonna come for you too, right, I'm not so mad.
I don't see because I haven't seen Renaissance, but because I was, like girl, we was in club Renaissance on the floor, damn Near and Beyonce.
Oh but yeah, the Eras concertory is great. She's a great, great gal. I love it. I'm a swiftye. I don't mind. I think I've Why should it be something you confess?
Yeah, Taylor Swift. I see her early stuff like we were a bothy.
She writes her way out of every fucking chapter. She is a pat like when you when you want inspiration to be creative and create art and no one can, no matter what. If you're creating your own art and you own that shit, you're unstoppable. That's what I love about day Yeah, I call.
It well, I call it so Mike. Can I do? Go first?
From Brown Break Brown Booth?
Are you gonna sing us in? We didn't get to do the little intro? How does it go?
How does it go?
I know?
Oh?
Day Breaker, Booster, Oh.
Now it's time to booster breaker, Booster Baker, Booster breaker boost.
Are you gonna boost? Are you going to wait? What you're gonna do?
What you gonna do?
Is that a Stanley cup.
First of all, I am such a basic bitch. No, it's not my sister. The one. One of the fun memories from Christmas is like the kitchen counter at my brother's house was like a sea of Stanley's because my mom. Y'all know, I'm half white, okay, and I love This is not a Stanley. My sister got this for me though, because I tease her about her Stanley all the time. But there was so many Stanley's. This is a brumante. And you know why, I think that's what it's called.
It's probably called the brumand but I just tried to make it fancy brew matte. She got me. That's because look, it doesn't spill, and the because my ship gets knocked over, the child will always come, you know, and just like help me put it on the floor because that's what they think I want. Yeah, I don't know where she got it, but thank you, Mallory. And also, way, one more thing, this is not my boos, but one more thing. Okay, you guys see the hair.
Yeah, I was gonna ask you, how'd you straighten?
It's so silly. Please one of those.
My sister Lisa has one of those does.
It really work? Well, you're looking at the product, so you an one of these. Really, this is like and it's not even the Big Lots version mine. It looks like a sex toy, doesn't it. It kind of gives me like dil Yes, if you a dildo and a shop back had a baby, that would be the red Air. This is what I'm holding up for those who can't see. It's a Revair okay, which I'm sure you've seen on your Instagram feed or TikTok feed. It's hilarious. My daddy got me that.
I told him that a long time to do it this.
It took about an hour to do like yeah, and that's after I did it once. It took like an hour and a half because I was so like, so awkward. It's so I'll give my review. I'm not telling anyone to go out and buy it. I did not buy it. I told my dad I wanted it as a joke for my birthday. I was like, yeah, I want this rev Air thing, Dad, and it's almost like he was like, okay, challenge accepted. So I got it as a Christmas gift. So that was very thoughtful and it was so funny.
Because like my dad growing up, it would be the Big Lots version of whatever I wanted. No, I'm serious, I wanted the Adidas that have the three stripes. He's like, Big Lots has an Adida's looking type vessel for your feet. I want the new Mary J. Blige and Alicia Keys album. Here you go. Oh, don't mind that, it's you know, bootleg from the guy at the corner store, like he was always. He was a man who liked to save a buck. But he got me the real red there. And no, don't go by it. It's not that it
doesn't do anything more than a hair dry doesn't. It's so heavy and so awkward, and yeah, I'm not I will use it just because now I will just think about my dad each time. But it's ridiculous, it's so silly. Don't buy it, all right, continue we Oh?
I so actually maybe I think this is like this is so I'm doing the Liverature Challenge again this year.
We usually start the first week of January, but girl, it was January.
Okay, Yeah, so I decided and said that the new Literature Challenge is starting next week January fifteenth. So this is the first challenge that Mandy and I actually did together when you were working with Nick over there at Credit sessiit. He was, no, why are we mane Magnified Money because they sponsored it was your first one though, No, but first one that I like you and I kind of partnered.
Yes.
Yes, And so it's the Literature Challenge Credit Edition. And so the way the Literature Challenges work it's that they're twenty two days, so they're three weeks, and every week we have a focus that has a credit theme. So last year's theme was savings. This year's theme is credit. So Week one is all about like what is credit? How do you accumulate it?
What?
Like what makes credit up? Week two is all about
how do I raise my credit score? And Week three is all about maintenance, maintenance, maintenance, And we're doing it live together, so that means January fifteenth, we already have three hundred thousand people signed up, So you ain't going to be a Holy Sugar yes, and so you're not going to be alone and we're going to do a live So for the first time, we used to let people sign up whenever, but it got to be too confusing and with this many people, now we're doing it
as a cohort. So we're starting on the fifteenth and it ends on the fifth, I believe of February, so you only have until January fourteenth to sign up. After that, you're gonna go to the site and it's gonna tell you can't sign up because you can't and until this cohort is done, and then we'll reopen it up again for the next cohort.
So you have until.
January fourteenth, midnight Eastern Standard time to sign up. It's totally free, it's always been free. You're gonna go to l RC for Literature Challenge LRC credit dot com. Like I said, it's totally free. It's twenty two days. It's a lot of fun. When you sign up, you're gonna we'll invite you to like a group, like a community group, or we'll all work on it together. Every week I go live to answer questions and offer encouragement. Honestly, it's a really good time. It's just that No, it's not,
it's just that anything. I'm just like, I just know that credit is one of the things that holds people back, and so I wanted to do the credit edition this year. And so yeah, just you know, anybody's free to join. You don't have to be a woman, you don't have to be a black woman.
It could be anyone.
It's totally free l RC credit dot Com, but you only have until January fourteenth midnight to sign up.
You get a starter kit right away.
And you, guys, see the damn thing with your freebies. It's not like you know, it's not like you get what you pay for. You get so much more. I know what I tell you.
For low key, we have announced it's any place else, but we created an app, our first app. You are really are happy.
I'm now it looks so damn good. It's called money Match. I know it's not.
Good, I mean and all like honestly, it's just I'm really excited because it's just we have taken it to the next level. And so yeah, so LRC credit dot Com and BTE whoever you want do not do it alone. If you don't have anyone to do it with, that's okay because there's already three hundred thousand people.
You can do it with.
And I'll remind you when we do our Friday, you know, be b a q A, I'll remind you again. But but yeah, I just wanted to invite every one because I want us to start the year off strong, you know, with the tools and resources you need for success, and credit is one of them.
I love that.
Maybe not we have We'll put the link in the show notes so I won't forget I don't let me forget any money.
Let's put the link LRC credit. Yeah.
Yeah, now that I have daycare childcare, maybe I'll do a challenge too. I would love to do a challenge around like pivoting, because I've done surveys of my community and the number one goal of people is not just to get a new job, is to pivot into a different field. Okay, and that's my favorite. That's my favorite kind of person to coach because it's one of the scariest things you need to coach, because pivoting is so scary.
I'm not going to say it's hard. I mean it is, obviously, it takes effort, but the hardest part is just doing it and giving yourself permission. All right, So excited for you and this decade long? How long have you been doing the liverature challenge? Is it been a decade?
I think the first one I did one. I want to say two, yeah, twenty twenty three or twenty four, so almost ten years.
I mean thirteen four team, but yes, yeah, yeah.
That's what I mean. But yeah almost. I mean we definitely had some years that we skip, like you know, the pandemic, because we were like, yeah, anybody do nothing, But yeah, no, I think that. Yeah, it's been just about ten years, and I'm really excited because we've helped literally millions of people through the challenge and it just
keeps getting better. And it's my it's my give back every year, you know, because I know my rules always you don't have to spend money with me in order to get financial.
Help because I have other things.
Certainly I have like books and things like that, and we make money that way, so but you know, I don't. I just feel like it's my job to figure out how to make money, not your job. And so if you're needing help, I'm always going to offer ways for you to get help or you don't have to worry about it. And so you know, come on down, bring your cousins and them. It's gonna be a good time.
I love it, all right. I'm gonna do a boost too, because we're being optimistic I'm gonna do a couple. First boost is that I contributed to my solo for before the end of the year. I had a whole big lump sum excuse me, and I think I maxed out my portion. But I was just very proud of myself and last year I did not do that. And so if you have a solo four one k, like you have to you have to contribute by the December thirty
first to have it count for that year. Now, I can still contribute to my step I Ray, which I did last year, but you can't contribute as much because with the solo four one K, it's like almost the same as I think it is the same as like if you worked for a corporation twenty two to five or whatever it is, and then you can do a you know, like as your own employer, you can also match that. So anyway, I was very proud of myself
and that I've you know gotten. I'm investing not with the same regular cadence as I was when I was nine to five, but I'm still doing it and.
It's great.
And thank you to my accountant, Safie for never making me feel as much of a shit show as I feel like I am with my taxes. She's always like helping me just realize, Hey, this is normal, You're good. You got me. She has my back. My other my big boost is that before the break, before the holidays, one of my you know, I have this village in my neighborhood, these women that have become just more than friends, just the people you call when you need someone and
you need something and they're right here. We have this like little community of moms on my block and nearby one of them is she's a school teacher. Hey, Latania, love her. She works so damn hard. She works so hard. I don't know how she has time to come up with ideas for like community events and things like that, but she does. And I'm usually the one who's like, Latania, anybody got time for that? I'm too tired. We have to do and I'm like a thing for every holiday.
But she wanted to do like a holiday party for the moms in the neighborhood, and I was like, and I thought about it, and I said no, no, but yes, let's not do a holiday party because this is the most stressful time for moms. If you really liked women and moms in general, you would do Mother's Day like the week after the holidays, and you would give all the moms off a week and give us a spot day because the holidays are so much work and for Latania. So I was like, no, however, let's do a Mom's
Night in in January. So I picked the twentieth and I'm hosting about twenty moms here at my house and I'm not just hosting them. We're gonna do like a using those tiktoks. Latania I had to say yes to something, and she wanted us to do the boards like everyone does a different board, like you do the taco board, dessert board, it's charcuterie, but it's like different themes. You know, you do the blue board. Everything's got to be blue and anyway, So I said yes, and we're gonna wear
nice jammies. We're probably gonna do a hot chocolate bar. I'm gonna do oh Husban got me the best gift so maker, way too expensive, but the most I am. So I love this man because this espresso maker is so good. So I'm gonna have an espresso martini bar for the girls who im vibe, and then a hot chocolate bar goodie bags, because I goodie bags for everyone and they're going to be good, Like I'm gonna put
things we actually use in the goodie bags. I haven't told anybody, but I'm basically treating it with the same care that we give to like a four year old's party, because if you know, four year old's party are expensive and you got to invise people and you gotta do goodie bags, and there has to be like, you know,
the right treats and the right decor. So I'm really excited Mom's Night In is happening on the twentieth, so uh yeah, I think it'll be a good time, and I'm excited to put some effort into other moms and not just the kids are great, but I think we deserve Yeah, I know, we deserve.
That and a good, good, good goodie like you know, I love that honestly. So we're back and we're black for the new year. We would love to know, like, what are kind of your your hope streams and wishes for your twenty twenty four You can you can tweet us, you can you know, hit us up on ig Barna Vision podcast or the BA podcast on Twitter. We'd love to know like, what are your what are you excited about for the new year?
What do you need help with? Maybe you need us to talk about something more, you know, And what's out?
That's the mean now, yes and hydration, smiling out, stressing right.
Hustle right, So yeah, we'd love to know until Friday. We will see you on Friday for b a qaa.
So happy to be back me too.
All right, bye y'all,