Hey, hey, hey, we're back.
We're black.
Brown, ambition, ambition and ambition, Amandra.
Hey you were giving a little Looney Tunes flavored today.
I was.
I was like the nineties, baby, I'm here for it. Hey you.
I was like, hey, how are you good? I got can you tell? I have lashes like you know, not like I.
Tell, but I always get the blurry tiffany on on this You Do podcast.
Yeah. Yeah, I was like, I look like you. I was looking like.
Something your high pony always makes you look perky and like, let's go team.
Yeah.
I literally I was looking at your lashes.
I was like, why don't my falsies like look like Mandy's every day? Like, are you even wearing Maskara?
Mandy? I am.
I am indeed because I don't feel bad. Yeah, Rio and I got together. He watched me get ready today. It was pretty hilarious. He's got blush on his cheeks and I shadow on his eyes and or knows what else.
That's cute.
You look gorgeous.
Thank you you.
You know. I want to bring back our og segment, be a buzz worthy. We should call it the ba buzz. Let's just come up with a new Okay, there seems to be a lot happening in the news that's highly relevant to the pockets these days. My husband and I sat down last week just to have like a financial check in, because now that I have my own business, he's like, hey, you like you making money? I mean, just let me know if I need to stop watching
these Rolex YouTube videos. And so we had like a real heart to heart, like where we're at in our finances and this government shutdown, he will be impacted. So today we're taping. On the twenty fifth, the government Congress are elected. Officials have until the thirtieth to make a budget plan, make a budget deal, or the government will shut down. Four million workers, including my husband, will be
instantly furloughed. But here's the shitty thing. He still is going to have to go to work because I know in the last shutdown, which was a couple of it was twenty nineteen, he was home for over a month or he was sorry, he was furloughed for over a month, but he still had to go in because if you're designated essential, you have to show up and work for no pay.
Do you ever get that money back?
Well, thanks to a law that wanted to effect in twenty nineteen. Now, if you're a federal employee, you are guaranteed to get your back pay, so at least you can show up to work knowing, Okay, I'm going.
To get a pay.
But you don't get paid though, like you have to wait for it.
That's very Nigeria and no state in my Nigerian but like literally for real, like so many teachers and government officials and police officers, you know, they you know, there's this pause and pay for whatever political reason, and they hope they get it, you know back.
Wow.
That's really scary though, because I mean, who can afford to work for free?
I'm saying. So I did look up some resources though, because and I'll give my husband some credit. He was like, you should talk about this on the podcast and listen to if he never brings up our podcast, if you can afford anyway, So he said that a couple of banks, actually USAA and Penn Fed Credit Union or offering zero percent interest loans up to six thousand dollars. Okay, don't get excited unless you already have an account with them, because they have to have an account there and you
have to There's some you know, some rules. I think for USAA you have to specifically have direct deposit from a federal employee like paycheck system going into your account. But if you you know, hit the requirements and you are going to need a bridge for the next you know, potentially month plus, I don't know how how long it
could be, that's for sure an option. But then I wanted to and also banks, like if you, for example, if you're worried about having late payments on your credit cards, you need to not make your credit card payment, which I think we've talked about in the past. Sometimes when it comes to times like these, keep food on the table, you know, let the light bill go, whatever, whatever you
have to do. But in the like, at least call your whether it's utilities, your creditors, you know, the subscriptions that you have, and ask them if they have any sort of like, uh, they're gonna wave late fees or waive interest rate interest payments, or you know, wave maybe the bill for the month potentially. I think it's it's worth asking.
I feel like there's been so many pauses, like you know, with the the.
Was it the writers strike writers and an actors strike.
Yeah, But I think I just I just read on Chesca Lee Francesca, I can't remember her last name, that they've come to it tentative agreement that you know. She said that they are fairly pleased with. So that's great because it's been like what a hundred and like what three months or something.
It's been the entire summer, you know, like these studios and we're heading into fall. This is what all the new shows should be coming back, and these studios are sweating and I I'm down for listen. Did we miss some content this year that this summer and did some projects get postponed maybe indefinitely and screwed over because of
the strike. Yes, but the power of the force of a union, it is on full display here for these workers to go on strike and to have been so widely supported across the you know, they done made Drew Barrymore canceled recancel her show. Well, she was like, I think, and you know, Drew so sweet. She's like, I think, like I can do this in a way where we're all happy. And they were like, yeah, they said she said,
just sat down. She really wanted everyone to just like come together, and yeah, it was like so I was just kidding there will be no episodes anyway, but the power. So I was reading kind of like what might be in the agreement, and I know the biggest thing is AI and the threat from AI, Like, are you like taking scripts from shows written by writers and downloading into the AI bot system and they can create create, create a new script based on this script by Shonda Rhymes
for Gray's Anatomy, you know. And then just the fact that when you're and and I'm you know, we're all in, you know, consuming this content on these streamers, you know. And back in the day when you would have episodes get into reruns and then syndication, you would get tons of like people will get rolled, not just the actors, but the gripts, people who write, you know, people who work in the background, makeup, hair, that kind of thing. So now with these streamers, there's no such thing as
like syndication. It's like, oh, you're on a streamer now. So the agreement hopefully will have something in there where they can actually make a little bit on the back end, like when there's stuff gets picked up by these streamers. But I'm happy for them that it looks like it's working that I work.
Because even like they like one of the proposed things the studios wanted to do is like, let's just say you're an extra. They wanted to be able to basically clone your physical like you're an extra and they can use you as an extra and anything and definitely forever and ever and ever.
I'm like, I just.
I don't do you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth, you know, and it's just like it's just so predatory. I've just been finding that a lot lately, even like you know, like I discussed I think, I don't know if it was last week, how I'm making transition in the budgetista to not dance so much for a dollar. And I've been having conversations with different
organizations about what partnership might look like. And the thing that always pisses me off the most is when somebody negotiates with me as if I have not run for six scessful companies in the last fifteen years and made over fifteen million dollars, and I'm just like, do.
You think I'm stupid? Like there was one organization in particular.
Who like, I don't believe well, I don't particularly care for the pure affiliate method. So for those of you not familiar. When you're an affiliate partner, you say, hey, I love this pair of shoes, and then you share the shoes wherever you share them, email, texts, social media, whatever, and when someone clicks on your link, you get a piece of So let's say the shoes are ten dollars
and they're going to give you a dollar. So every time they sell a shoe, you get a dollar, they get nine, and so on the surface, it seems like, oh, that's fair, it's not. Because let's just say I say I love these shoes, and what typically happens when I see something on social media, I think to myself, those are cute shoes, and then I see them again because
you post up those are cute shoes. And then one day, two three months later, I'm on wherever and I'm like, let me go ahead and buy these shoes.
Where's your link? I don't know, I'm not even thinking about you in your link.
But you've introduced those shoes to me. Where is the compensation for that?
And then you will in all that.
Person or a series of influencers or people will have infused this company with all these new customers, only a portion of which a small portion of which, because everyone's not ready to buy in that moment, a small portion of which will purchase directly from that person's link. But now you've grown your business large largely off the backs of these influencers, and then you get to sell it for one hundred million dollars you know, as a bro and you get you know, you get to roll in
a Dell. And I have built many a fintech company without knowing when I first started. I mean, I've put ten thousand plus people into apps only to find they were sold for like, you know, tens of millions of dollars. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold up, wait a minute. And so now the conversation is like you want me to send a one The product or service
always has to be good. You know, I've never shared a thing that I did not believe in or use whatever myself, you know me and maybe be going back and forth even with the show, we're like what yeah, you know, we're like who take what to take?
What?
Vitamin?
No?
No, no, no, you know, so we're always very you know, particular about like here, but just in our personal lives too, like in our personal brands. And so one that it has to pass that test of like do I really believe in this thing?
And then two.
Now it's not for every cause some of them it doesn't really make sense to do this, but especially for these like startups. I'm like, I ask for equity, right, pay me on back end, and they're like, I'm like, I'm sorry, you want ten thousand dream Catchers so you can then go and raise your your past seed round. You could raise a round BC, so you get sell
it for it. And then when I get four dollars a person, no, then go go pick somebody else, I said, because over here, I don't just get people to sign up.
We change behaviors over here.
And so when I send a DreamCatcher to a product or service, we teach them how to use it, how not to use it, how to infuse it in their life in a way that's going to be meaningful. You have a life long user. And black women over indexed in the consumption of financial education tools. And I only
know that because it's a big financial company. The CEO and I became friends and he shared that he was like that women take up seventy percent of these fright fintech like tools seventy percent of the women at least for his like fifty million dollar company were of the people that use the tool were women, and of that seventy percent, over fifty percent were black women. So I was like, so I built your company.
He was like hey.
Then he's saying hey, and I was like, yeah, I'm not doing that again, you know I'm not. And so like that is the like it's almost like what I love is that what Mandy and I do are like same side or different sides of the same coin, like negotiating, negotiating always.
For like what does fair look like?
And so that's what I'm navigating now, like what does fair look like?
Like?
I'm looking for partnerships.
I'm not looking for you to show throw me a corner too, which there's nothing wrong with that, But if you are an influencer and you really dry valume, consider.
Having the equity question.
What would that look like I sent two thousand people ten thousand people, or if they're not willing to, you know, pay an equity, maybe it's already a huge company already. Increase, like, don't treat me this what I at least tell them, don't treat me like somebody off the street. If someone else can sign up for your affiliate program and get twenty five dollars, I need fifty because I'm not the same, you know, always negotiating more and now more and more.
Which I love is that we're negotiating more on the front end, and even if I don't get equity in the company, I'm getting percentage on the back.
End, percentage of like sales.
So sometimes it's like this.
So for example, there's a company that we use I really like for debt consolidation. You know, I'm like, okay, there's only like maybe two or three that I really liked that I've sent my sisters to. They had good experiences, and I'm like okay. And so it used to be we'll pay you, like make it up a number twenty five dollars person that signs up, and I was like, yeah, Like on my team, we have this. Oh Carol is our efficiencies manager, and she was like, wow, I'm doing
the math. We've sent you know, hundreds of thousands, not millions of dollars to them.
We should get a cut.
Of the percentage of the debt they're consolidating. And so we've now negotiated that, like I think it's like one point five or two percent.
It like, I don't even know.
What past quadrupled is, like the income that we make in them, so you get per person, you see what I mean?
And so it's like promoting like a checking a savings account. Yes, a percentage of the assets.
Yes, because you're making a percentage of the assets being depositive.
Say it again, Yes they are, I mean, you know.
And then sometimes they're like ooh, no, tip, okay, go find somebody else. Pick somebody else. We're busy over here. Because here's the thing. When you have your this is why.
For if you're an influencer, consider creating your own products or services like Mandy has, like I have, because Mandy, certainly I know you make money from like partnerships and things, but you have your own Mandy money makers. You have your own product and service because if not, you become basically a slave to whatever deal someone is going to give you. Because I can decide, right, I'm sure many
you've had to decide do I put my energy? Why should I give my energy to you for four dollars a person when I can have someone side up for the Liberature Academy and keep the full thirty dollars a month for myself per person.
So yeah, I.
Can only make so many asks of my audience. And so these are some of the things that the shifts that are happening in business. And you know, as we get smarter, as we just like start to shift and transition, these are some of the conversations that are coming up.
And you know, these companies, they.
Get uncomfortable when a sister be like, not too much on not trying to pay me, just so grateful.
Oh my god. I yeah, I think I've just had the benefit of watching you grow your business as well. But I when I approach Mandy Money Mandy money Makers, when I launched a couple of years ago, I always knew, Yeah, of course, that's a nice thing to have. As an influencer. You have, you know, brands that come to you because you've built your audience and they want to leverage it,
and it can be you know, financially lucrative. But for me, it was never I never wanted to be just going after those little this brands deal that brand deal, a few thousand bucks there, you know. And even though I was paid like over thirty k just to do an Instagram Live one time.
You know, I was excited that that was a good one.
I land negotiate that with your help, thanks to But hey, when you want me to agree to not go with anyone else for months, like to not go with any of your competitors for months, then yeah, can I get some income anyway? So yeah, I just those are my fun like little surprise nuggets, you know, like, oh, put this in the fund for the you know, the for what for taxes, for taxes, like for my dream house.
It's coming. But yeah, So but beyond that, you're right, you know, having your own products and also I'm genuinely creating things that I want to fill a need that are useful to people. So how do you get on this whole like, oh, the Writer's Guild and all that, Yes.
Creating your own thing instead of waiting for everybody to just pay you.
I got to pick your brain because I'm going to find con. I'm going on our anniversary trip to Fincome by myself, and I'm gonna go and just have a you know, I'm just gonna have dinner for two, but your seat will be empty and I'll just.
Talk your poor little something for I know, it's your.
Birthday week, but it's New Orleans and it was where you met.
The river.
It was just you know, the origin. But I am going and I'm doing I'm doing a I'm hosting my own breakout session and it's and I pitched it months ago and I'm like, oh, yeah that. But it's going to be how to bank your brand, tips for negotiating your contracts and negotiating your brand deals. So tipmona, I'm gonna be downloading your your brain a little bit for that. Yes, let's get back to the b a buzz. Okay, So we talked about the government shutdown, the writer's strike and
actors strike. Let's talk about student loans.
My friends are like, October instead of Winter's coming October?
Is it October first?
I don't know.
I was trying to find it said everything even says even on their website, like like the government website, it says it would be due sometime in October.
I'm like, what does that mean?
Does that mean that if we're doing really bad in the polls, we will extend it again?
Girl?
I don't know.
It's really yeah, not so clear.
I hesitate to I don't want to make it like, I mean, it is pretty partisan, but anyway, whether or not you support her, I feel like most of our listeners probably do. But AOC Alexandria, OK, she actually launched a really great, very educational series, nonpartisan series, just on the facts of what's going to happen when it comes to student loan payments resuming and even people may be
eligible for forgiveness and not know it. So I'd love to drop a link to her to whoror to her ig in our show notes so you can or if she has them, like you know, organized somewhere. But I was watching a few of those and they were hell helpful, even just for me to understand.
Yeah, I'm in here just looking. It's I'm just trying to like I'm literally on.
Studentaid dot gov, and my my, they're not as helpful as you would like them to be.
Yeah.
It basically it says student loan interest will resume starting on September one, twenty twenty three, and payments will be due starting in October. And maybe what they mean is that, like you know, everybody's payment date is different, maybe, like you know, you normally pit, so maybe that's why we will communicate with borrows from now on until their first payment due date.
So that's what.
Yeah, So that's so basically your interests has already started and payment whenever your normal paydate is.
Yeah, call your servicer, call us, see what's happening. Make sure you got it hooked up to the right bank account. It's been three years, over three years at this point from this pause and student loan payments. I do have a little silver lining if you're wondering like those forgiveness programs, because AOC talks about that in her messages about you know, you may be eligible for forgiveness or a debt cancelation, so you know, look into what you know your potential eligibility.
Is one of my Mandy money makers. I won't put her name out there, but we just talked the other day. She has worked for years for a community college and had over two hundred thousand dollars worth of debt because she went to law school. When you look at this person's resume, I'm just like, Wow, you love you some school. You're very smart. But went to law school, she went to grad school, had all these degrees anyway, over two hundred thousand dollars, but because she had worked over I
forget the ten years in public service. She got a letter the week after she was laid off from her job. She got laid off in May. I just met her at this past September. But anyway, she got go in May, and then like the week after, she she said she prayed to God for like a sign that he still had her back and that she was still in you know, doing the right thing. And she got her loans forgiven through PSLF.
Yes, that was g O D.
Yeah.
Yeah, So you know, for those of you who are who are wondering if you're eligible, those things are still happening. So you know, we can post something for some resources in the show notes.
Yes and yeah.
And also don't you know, don't forget to apply for things like income based for payment that you know, if your income has changed, because you know, when all this came to effect, you know, this was during.
COVID, that was a few years ago.
Also, you might have had a child, maybe you have the little COVID baby, you know, you know, when he was home, you know, getting it in and like you have a baby now that can also affect your what your income is.
Because it's not just your income.
They also look at family size when when calculating what your income is and so don't you know, to Mandy's point, like it was a doctor who, uh, she too, got her loans forgiven, and she said, if she would have had to pay all that back with interest and everything else, it was close to a million dollars, like like if she would have like you know, with the with how many years and the interest pit And she was just like, so she didn't owe a million, She owed like maybe
a few hundred thousand, but she was like, if I had to pay them and finally pay them off at forty or fifty or whatever, it would have been close to that.
That's life changing.
Yes, and wan she was. She's in her fifties, so imagine, I mean she's like, there's no I was gonna die with this debt. It's two hundred something thousand. Yeah. Ah So, m well, if.
That suspects everything, I don't think people realize that when it comes to like, you know, your debt, it affects whether or not you can purchase a home, you know, because they take that into consideration. Your debt income, I mean, your debt, your your debt to income ratio is like the second most important number to your credit, you know, when you're looking courches at home, getting a car, you know,
like it affects your credit overall. Like I know one of my she's an attorney, but right before she got her first job, she was so scared because her credit wasn't good and they told.
Her that they factored in credit.
You know some can do that and then yeah, yeah, especially if you're like in a finance Yeah, girl.
Girl, They're like, no, I handle this money with your five hundred credit score. They're like, you'll be siphoning off money to make sure you call, you get your brother.
He's not worried about student debt? Is Coco Golf? Did you see that interview she gave.
First of all, I love it for her that she didn't even know how to say the word debt.
She's like, I don't have debts with a B. She was like, I'm so unfamiliar with this word. I can't even pronounce it. She's like, I'm nineteen.
I'm like, girl, nineteen year olds have depths too. Yeah, And she was like, you know, thankfully my parents because my parents. So for those who don't know Coco after obviously, if she won the US Open US Open right, US Open, and and she she was on live, you know, just talking to the people and when you win, your your her prize money just for that particular I'm tournament.
It's three million dollars.
And she was live and someone said, what are you gonna do with your three million dollars? Are you going to pay down some debt? And she was like debts, I don't, I don't. I'm not familiar with depths.
She literally said, I don't. I don't have depths.
And she was just like, but I love that for her because you know that one her parents have been able to one. I mean, we see the three million, but Coco has made I think I read someplace like something like eighteen million dollars this year, just endorsements and things like that.
You know.
So that's one thing. And I love the fact she's like, I still love It't hold my parents. I said, yes, yes, parents keep her close.
But if you, if you do want to go to college, and I'm not saying that you need to because like, hey, the PR campaign, they need a PR team, the whole four year college degree people. But anyway, because the messaging is that is maybe not worth it as much as people want you to believe, but if you know a sport like you, if you know a sport or you play an instrument like that, can really pay your way
through college. And I think I'm realizing that though, you know, now that I have a kid, and I think about I'm listening to like how you can get college tuition paid for if you have a sport, I mean, you know, a real sport, not the Hollywood actors who you know, bribe people to say that their child is their professional rower or lacrosse player or whatever. I'm like, Rio, what will.
Your sport be?
Is the lego building a sport?
I played tennis, Honestly. My sister Lisa got a full scholarship to Temple with a tennis scholarship because she was number one in the States in doubles when she played. And then she decided after the freshman year, and I'm like that, so she dropped the team and scholarship.
I was like, you know those are combined. She's like, well, won't Daddy just paid for it.
I'm like, oh my god, oh god, I know.
So pulling your weight, you know what I'm saying.
I mean, we all just had to sit down and my dad was considering it, and as we all said, no, you bring your ass back home, She's like, I don't understand.
She was like, I was like, Lissa, you can't quit the thing. I didn't like the catch. I was like, well then you must. She loved Philly, and that's what she went to temple, Baby Lisa. Yeah, this is baby Lisa. She tried it, I know.
At that point already by then, girl, I was like, well then you you're behind us coming home, and she did, and she went to Rutgers, and she really was like mad at us for a while because we told our dad, no, do not pay at the pocket, because that doesn't make sense.
You don't paint a poet.
You're gonna have to pay the pocket anyway, but at least let it be in state, because we live in New Jersey, you know.
So she had to come home. I was like, you big dummy, been and Philly.
Living it up with all the neosol life, and you're back home in this strict household where you can't do nothing.
So she learned her lass not that far from Jersey.
Well, yeah, well I guess, cause you know, it's one thing. She lived on campus because once she had to go to Rutgers. She lived home, right, you know, and plus two like you know, just yeah, well, you know Lisa.
Had to lie, and she did. But I was so shocked.
My dad was like, I guess I'll pay. We were like, now, are you crazy?
No, she was so nonchalot. I remember my dad was like, do you see this?
Built her credit card, her first credit card, built four hundred dollars at CBS. At CBS, yo, I said, Lisa, what could you possibly when I tell you she'd buy all that? I was like, because you know how, I'm sure there are things you could buy the supermarket way cheaper. But it was like, girl, why should I be worrying about things like that a toothbrush? I mean, yo, Lisa was something else. Raising that girl was something by then. My parents are so tired, so it.
Was on us. We was just like girl over here. Even now, I'm still raising her at thirty four.
Age. Oh all right, anymore buzzy ba ba ba buzz material for me?
I can't you know.
I always like this is just I mean, this was out like a while ago, but just recently.
What's his name? Oh, he's he's married to Gabrielle Union. Dayne raid Wade.
Yeah, had this like interview where I don't know, this is not really about him, but it kind of sparked back up for me when we learned. Do you remember when Gabrielle Union said that she and Duayane split the bills fifty to fifty?
Yeah? Yeah, did we talk about that possibly?
Okay, I was gonna say, like, what do you think about that?
Like, you know, like cause he's significantly wealthier than her, like three hundred million or something like that his networth her she's thirty million.
Yeah, like she's thirty million. So no, I mean, obviously.
She's it's wealth on wealth, but it's a huge difference to split fifty to fifty. And it was because I think one day Dwayne said something about my house and my this my that she said, oh, we gonna stop all at my ma stuff.
We go on fifty to fifty. Yeah, but I'm like, yeah, I hate that. I do hate that for her.
You know, I think when relationships with desperate income it is I think that you want to you want to believe. Okay, I'm gonna business for us. It's all for us until the other person wants to do something that's out of alignment with your values. And I speak from experience until the other person decides they want things like a Tesla and three thousand dollars custom.
Suits right or or denale. You know, in the case of Jilders.
Is that a big old truck thing.
Big old nasty truck because with six six and it has to be like people like when you come home on this trip, it's gonna be, there's gonna be.
Now I'm like them.
That is when it becomes real hard. And that's when you want to pull that whole card. Well, who's gonna pay for it? My therapist says, it's not okay to do that.
It's not okay, it's okay.
And like other people. But yeah, I think in that case, I think the story but you and Joel that you shared multiple times is like how he like you, wanted to keep your lifestyle a certain level so that he could always you know, contribute and all of that. Yeah, and I think that that's great. But I also feel like, you know, I would never want someone to be able to tell me no, So that's why I'm always going to have mine. Oh yeah, always, And like fifty to
fifty is so literal, like I doubt. They're sitting down and he's like the mortgages. Their mortgage probably like thirty thousand dollars. I don't know where's your fifteen thousand and five cents? You know, I doubt that. But knowing that if we're going to do something, we're gonna do it together and we both need to be on the same page about it, that's that's the hard stuff as a couple.
Yeah, and just navigating that, like I like one.
It was.
I think it was a little easier and maybe for you too, because you when you and and and Enrique got together, were you kind of making the same financially.
Or oh goodness, I don't know what he was making. I know I was maybe like fifty k. I think I was making a little bit more. But he was very early in his goodman days. Yeah, so then I don't know he's worked his way up.
When because some time to think.
Well, obviously, y'all know when I met Durell, I was a preschool teacher. He was a maintenance man, so he was neck and neck. Basically I was making thirty nine, that's true. And then, like you know, we stopped seeing each other, and then when we started to date a little bit when I was in my thirty my early early early thirties.
I think I was like twenty nine thirty.
I was making nothing because I had just started the Budgetista and I was basically on unemployment. And you know, he was well into working for housing, and I don't know, maybe he was making forty or fifty, I don't even know. And then at thirty four we started dating like for real, for real, I was making six figures engross in business,
but probably taking home about fifty or sixty. So we were kind of neck and neck, you know at that time when I when I actually moved in with him, I was thirty four, and so yeah, in the halfway hood we were living, but he paid all the bills to because I moved in with him, and I said, do you want me to go half?
Because it was a halfway hood.
So and he worked for housing and he was like on call, so they had him. They had we had a really nice time house, but it was still housing property. So our rent was only nine to twenty, you know, and I was like, do you want me to go half?
He was like, I got it, And so I didn't have a car note he did, so he could continue to pay his own bills, and so he just basically took care of all the bills, you know what he was already taking care of when I moved in, And then it allowed me, without having to worry about bills, to really grow the budget neista and like the like. Within two years of living there, you know, went from six figures annually to seven figures not me take home,
but it's the business. So now I'm not making six figures take home and then more, and so I think that made it a little easier because it wasn't like how I am now trying to navigate dating, where it's like I, you know, can make and I've made seven figures take home, multiple seven figures take home at least high six figures take home and not with It's not like whoever I date. Now we've built this together. Yeah, you know, so Withirell, because people are like, oh, how'd
you make it work? I'm like, yeah, but you have to understand he met me preschool teacher Tippany. I never ever once felt like he's only here why Because when I was a preschool teacher, he was like one day she's.
Gonna randomly started fighting.
Exactly, so that was easier and so but now it is kind of like challenging because certainly, you know, there are guys that I've gone out with who you know, make way way way less, and you know, like there are a couple of guys have dated that make more, you know, and so I'm still navigating like what, like where where the line is for me, you know, because I haven't had to navigate that, because like I didn't care.
With Jarrell, I'm like, whatever, we you know, I built this essentially because you've been here to support me, and then we just navigated accordingly. And by the time I really blew up, I was able to say, Okay, you
could continue to pay the bills. I will save an invest for us, and that's what I'm I did, you know, But with somebody who doesn't contribute to my household, it's like what, I don't know what the girl is who make like really good money when they're in a dating like space, you know, because I think I read a statistic that said, because I may I prefer black men, that like less than eight percent of black men make over one hundred thousand dollars a year, and so it's like less.
Than eight percent, Well, The thing is like, I don't I feel it's very different. You're just in such a huge, hugely different phase. There's no way, even if you met
Superman today that you probably would have approached it the same. Yes, you know, like no one's ever going to be able to go back with you and your you know, late twenties, early thirties, building your business in Durell, y'all, when you were in that mindset where you didn't know things were going, and you're never going to operate from that space again. I kind of feel like, I don't even and how
soon would it even be. I know that you're dating, but I feel like you're really far away from living with someone.
Partnership.
Yeah, yeah, well I don't think I'm gona split bills.
Yes, I don't know that. I I mean, I guess you never know.
But I guess I'm just thinking because even as you're dating, I feel like you want to be my for like this could possibly, especially at this age. It'd be one thing if I was twenty one. I mean, to be candid, The guys who are dating now are not dating casually,
not that that's not what I found. You know, they're dating with the intention of like, if not marriage, like deep partnership, and so I'm kind of like, well, how does that look, you know, because it's not me, I mean, you know me, I'm in my target's best always like this, you know, a little Amazon outfit.
So it's not even that.
It's just if I'm going to go on a nice vacation, you know, all on my MX points because I'm still about to be said, still I'm still flying business and still staying in a nice hotel.
And I'm like, who paying for you?
Oh, like should you pay for them or not?
Yeah?
Well I mean or not? Why not? You know, but meaning like what does that? You know, as those.
Change your expectation for vacation so that they can equally contribute.
Yeah, but I know, I know economy anymore, you know.
So that's the kind of things that like I kind of I mean, it hasn't come up yet because I'm not traveled with anyone or whatever. But you know, as you're dating, I'm just like, I'm thinking about that now, where you know before it's like, no, I wouldn't mind dating someone who made less. I'm like, no, you're talking about Jirell. That was a very specific we came up together.
This is different, you know, like yeah, so I don't know, it's just like just something that I just been thinking about as I'm dating, like all these different ranges, Like you know, there's one guy who was a teacher. I mean teachers make a solid you know, but not a ton. Because my rule used to be before you have to be able to make enough to take care of yourself and your responsibilities. That's like at the bare bones, make
enough to take care of yourself and your responsibilities. But now it's like this that have to really change because that might mean that you can't go on a trick with me because you have just enough to take care of yourself and your responsibilities, but nothing excess, you know, or does it get awkward like you know, like you know, I have this beautiful condo which you see a mandy like it's just coming along like you definitely, oh my gosh,
it's giving wealth. Like even my most cynic sisters are like, oh my god.
Right, and so like when.
You come over, you gotta feel intimidated by that, you know, or you're going to think like the thing because I'm really simple, like I love a poem and a card and tulips some whole foods, or you're going to think that you have to like spend a whole lot of money in order to like, I don't know. These are just things that have just been coming up of like where I am, and I just never thought about that before.
And also too not that most men are not gold diggers, but you think about that, like is that a thing that you'll get like a guy who was like, ooho, hopefully she'll pay for things. I find most men are not like that. I'm assuming, but I don't know. I haven't been in a dating pool long enough to be like, you know, what's the temperature?
Are there? Gold digger guy? Is that like a is there an uptick?
I mean, I'm sure they exist. Don't get your shoes stolen on the tinder hed go to TikTok. I feel like you're a perfect partner. Your ideal partner is out there, and I don't know, I think you're going to figure it out. I feel like, and you're gonna tell a very unique story of how it worked for you and anyone who's listening on a similar journey or in a similar place, Like everyone's puzzle piece is shaped different, you know,
like the jigsaw of the relationship and the life. I just I choose optimism in terms of you're too fabulous, too bright, shiny, spectacular with your big life. You know, if you if you so choose to share it with someone, you're too fabulous not to and they will rise to that occasion. There will be someone, you know. That's how I feel, because the world where that doesn't happen just don't make sense to me.
I'm not I'm not in rush, right, I'm just like, I'm like, wow, is this what chopping in our handy streets?
Navigating? Just I like being inside the house.
You know, your husband can work a nerve, but you're like, it's the nerve I know.
Thanks for reminding me that. Yeah, it is cold out there, girl, must I be dating with kids? So it's cute when you're a but when you're a woman you put that in your profile.
Yeah, it's always crazy.
When I see guys, I'm like, oh my baby six months, I'm like, oh, sorry, you're busy.
I need you to focus.
Focus.
Yes, let's break.
Yeah, let's take a quick break. And as a reminder, please share, like, follow, subscribe to the BA podcast, and tell a friend to tell a friend, Our show can only grow if you guys continue to share and let others know about us. So tag us, text your friend the link to the show. Go to Apple dot com, slash brown Ambition and hit follow. Leave us a review, thank you.
If you've got a really nice brother, hit me in the dam and I'm just joking a review.
If I don't think you want all of that, Okay, I'm.
Just joking, all right with back in the moment.
And we're back for the wait to know.
And now it's time wait, no, no, damn it. What can I booster?
Yes, booster And now it's time to boost up break boost up?
Like boost up, break, Yo, you're gonna boost? Are you gonna bit? What you're gonna do? What you're gonna to? Mandy? Are you gonna boost and break? You wanna go for at second? Mine is like a light light boost.
I'm gonna boost because I was just listening to an interview with Leslie Jones of SNL Ghostbusters Comedic fame, and I didn't really know much about her backstory but her memoir Leslie Ethan Jones, I can say it. I was listening to her on NPR, so she had to keep saying Ethan, But it's Leslie fucking Jones has her new memoir coming out, and I just thought it was so her interview was so great and she's so you know.
She a story about how both of her parents passed away within six months of each other, and because they didn't have life insurance, she worked a gig during her father's funeral so that she could pay for it, like
in Amsterdam or something like that. But I just think and talk about a story of your journey is on your own timeline, because she didn't really hit it big, so she was in her forties, you know, yeah, and she's in her fifties now and be on top of being hilarious, I just think it's a great just a great story and she's fabulous. And there's one quote that has continued to stick with me from and it's a quote that she took from God dang, who is that
comedian Kat Williams. He told her apparently when she was when she was like, you know, building her career and stand up, he said, stop working from a place of desperation and you'll get bigger gigs. She's like, what do you mean, I'm desperate, I'm broke, as a joke. I am desperate. He's like, no, but you're making decisions at a desperation, saying yes to things that are not worthy of you, saying things that are small. And I just
love that that quote, and it reminded me why. Like when I got back from maternity leave, I had a couple of speaking engagements that I just that were I don't know like they were. They were fine, But I'm in this. I'm in this like very intense reaping period. We talked about that before I'm reaping, I'm writing my book. I'm trying to be really really particular about what I do. And I said no, And I was like, but that's thousands and thousands of dollars that you just gonna say
no to. Yeah, I just just and I was a sham, not a shame, but I was scared to Like I didn't want to tell my husband about it because he could have been.
Like, what do you mean?
But I just said, I'm going to save space for a bigger and better I'm going to save space for the thing that I can't say no to. And if I say yes to these things that I can say no to, I'm giving up what limited extra energy I have, and within a couple of weeks an incredible opportunity came my way. I get to partner with a former a former partner of mine or you know, when I haven't worked with in a while. That is not just more money,
but so much better aligned. Like when I read the email, I was like, I'm grinning air from ear to ear. I want to do this thing, you know, like I would love to do this. So I love that. Yeah, so thank you to Kat Williams and Leslie Jones making me think about that. But yeah, check out her memoir and I'm for sure we're going to get the audiobook because you know it's gonna be hilarious.
Oh my god.
Actually that's a really good idea because yeah, some audiobooks you just have to listen to.
I'm gonna bust a Oyoh.
I know we haven't broken in a while, but I'm like, whatever, I'm gonna boost. Uh well, yes, so I but you can't tell now because you know, I beat my face slightly, but I don't know. I've just broken out the last couple of weeks and my face was like and you know, especially as a brownskin.
Brown skiing girl, you break out all of a sudden.
You have spots that like, like, you know, because because we have more melanin, like the Scott spots are darker and last foot, you know.
And I just was, literally, so maybe this is a boosty breaking.
I was really frustrated because, you know so much like I literally was like, oh, I've heard of all of these like great tools and things that you can use like skincare things for your skin. So actually I went to Sephora today and was looking at this company called Ola Henderson something like anyway, they have this brightening stick and every shade was tan, tanner, orange, tan, brownie tan. I was like, and I remember the woman, bless her heart, I was like, are these is there clear? I wasn't
even looking for brown. Yeah, And she was like no, I think it all comes to one color. I'm like, no, it doesn't. And then so there was this orange one and I swashed it on my arm and she was like, maybe if you blend it in. I'm like no, and I shouldn't have to. When I was really frustrated, I was like, ugh, are there no products for like hyper pigmentation and dark spots for like black skin. So as I stood in the Saphora. I googled best products for black.
Skin and hyperpigmentation. Hyperpigmentation is like just like.
Darkness on dark skin basically, and I found this brand and it seemed too good to be true. It was like they had all the things, and I was like, it's called Cocoa Rose, and I was like, hmm, this seems too good to be true. And I'm like, the reason why it's too good to be true is because I had no idea it was made by a black woman, because all of the things that I was having issue with. I'm like, how does this person now? I know black skin so well, and I was like, oh my gosh.
So I am so excited because so coke. Literally I just ordered today. So the founder of Coco Rose Beauty, her name is Charlo Coco Green.
She developed what they call.
Like a k beauty brand, which is Korean beauty, and so it's not back by science because great Korean beauty brands are known to be backed by science, but created specifically for like for k Korean beauty obviously is for Korean people and they have specific skin issues. But she's made something specifically for black and brown women. She suffered from actne Over for over twenty years and when I tell you, if you follow her or follow Cocoa Beauty
on ig, it is hilarious. So I don't know how many non brown or black people know this, but like I have dark ass armpits like every black woman.
That's just it's just the thing.
And then between your thighs right next to your coude gap, it gets dark there too, you know, and it's just I mean, you know, that's just there's extra melon in under arm.
Fortunia leg It's just that's how it goes.
And she has like these like a magic stick that helps with like ingrown hairs, that helps with like hyperpigmentation there.
It was just I could have wet when I say wept all.
The things, all the challenge that I face as a black woman when it comes to skin, because usually my skin is fine, but every once in a while it is not. It was like, here's a black woman that clearly is like these are black women's issues, and plus, you know who doesn't want to as a black woman. Of course, I want to rather support a black woman on brand. I just didn't know that I have some things.
That's all I can think of when I think it's like a black and black community brand.
Honestly, I don't know.
And also too, you have to understand that Rihanna is not she is fair. She likes It's owned by an lvmh like the largest, you know, luxury brand. So having like skincare created by black women for black women, just like you know, I just was really happy, like you know.
Cause I was like, I was like, who who owns this?
Because they're saying all the right buzzwords what black ladies told them about our issues and so yeah, so it's Coco c O c O Coco Rose Beauty.
They're not you know, sponsoring or anything.
I just was so delighted first disgusted. That's my my break that by the fact that there was like nothing, nothing specifically for me, you know, because I like, we tend to have sensitive skin in razor, bumps are more prevalent. There's certain things that you just you know that you have to find a thing specifically for you, and we're always having to make do. And I hate that they're always having to make do and making an orange if I blended in work, I'm like, no, I want something for.
Me in the beauty industry, I'm dark skinned, like that's yes, as deep as it goes, which.
Is my I brought like a bunch of stuff and I'm just like, yeah, I can't wait. So when you see me glowing, I mean, I'm going now just because you're not a little bit a beat, but when you see me going for real without the beat, and you can be like, oh, I'm like Cocoa beauty. Yeah, Coco Rose beauty, I said, Cocoa beauty. I'm like, Lord knows, I'll be.
Messive like cocoa butter.
No Coco no see, okay, okay, Oh, Coco Rose Official is the Instagram account.
Go ahead on you c c k O k O Coco Rose. Yeah official, Yep, got it.
I will check them out, Yeah, check them out, you know, so I'll you know, as I start to use them, I'll give you some update to see.
Did I like?
First of all, I love the fact they have women literally leg straight up in the air, rub it in between their late like you already.
Know you know you black here her marketing problem?
Didn't I know I had, But I didn't know it was a problem I could solve, so I just never thought about it.
I know, like whatever, But I'm like, oh, you mean there's a magic stick I can roll here? Okay, Like I just yes, So I'm just excited to try it because the before and NAFTA pictures on black and brown skin just unmatched.
So she's got a bunch of stuff.
Yeah, well, thanks for sharing, Tiff. All right, ba fam, we're gonna bid you a dude, but do not go far because you will hear from us on Friday. All right, download the B a Q and A episode and don't forget share this episode, like subscribe, go to Apple dot com slash brown Ambition and make sure that you follow us and share with a friend. Okay, and while you're there, leave us a Review's not too much to ask, right, I mean, come on, those great content, just throw us some bones, okay, and.
Maybe we'll review. We're gonna maybe we should start reviewing.
Read our favorite review like at the end or right before boosty break.
You know, people, let's do one right now? Why not?
Okay, do one? You pick one.
I'm gonna do one next week. I actually get little I get little up. I get little emails with our rankings and they usually feature the newest review review. Okay, all right, Tarak forty five hundred said, wherever you are in your financial journey, you can definitely get some gems out of this podcast. That was the most recent. Brown EA two says, I love listening because it's so much more than a podcast about money. Tiffany and Mandy are
so real and personable. I appreciate their candidness and vulnerability. They offer so much useful advice. Oh, I can keep going, but those were just top two.
We must have review.
We can.
We might shout you well, that would be amazing, all right, y'all, So until Friday, Bye bye, m