How To Navigate Burnout

a little bit of career. That's mostly mandy though. So it means that if you need serious help, go ahead and tap those people that you pay, not us. You could just say what we say with the smaller screen in the soft aka su your grandma, not us. If you do have questions, though, you can go to Brown Ambition Podcast dot com click contact us ask there, slide

into the DMS on ig Brian Ambition Podcast. Go ahead on over to the BA podcast on Twitter and tweet us or email us at Brown Ambition Podcast at gmail dot com. Okay, okay, So today's question is not directly from the mail AA. It's just something that's been coming up oh lately. The question of how do you sidestep burn out? So a lot of especially this is like from my entrepreneurs in particular, but certainly this could be

for anyone. Lately, I have been hearing from a lot of my entrepreneur friends about how burnt out they are. When I tell you it is like a purveying theme. I don't actually know an entrepreneur that is not feeling exhausted, tired out, and I'm talking about the gamut. I have friends who have made fifty million dollars in the last couple of years. I'm sorry, and more. You know, I have friends who are starting out one year in business year one and you know, maybe me five thousand dollars,

and the girls are tired. The girls are tired. And most recently, I saw a gentleman his name is Abu on Instagram that I follow. He is like this master like ad kind of marketing guy and he posted candidly. So That's why I'm sharing it because it's all over his social media how he is taking a break after making millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars. He is like, to what end? And I just wanted

to talk through, you know, like, what is that. I think so many of us didn't grow up with the whole lot, and you know, we kind of had this idea that if we make a ton of money, it will solve so much. And certainly money does solve a lot of challenges, but not all the challenges, and sometimes money will actually create new challenges that we did not anticipate.

And it can be really hard because don't nobody want to hear about a millionaire crying about in my life, So there's not a lot of safe spaces to share that, like it's too much. But I'm seeing more and more people, you know, stepping forward, whether it's publicly or just certainly behind the scenes my friends, and I'm sharing how like

overworked and overwhelmed they've become. And I can say that certainly I felt like that a few years ago where I was at peak overworking war, I mean peak where like I said, I was up thirty pounds, a blood pressure was always fightd and I was like, I never had high blood pressure. And that was when I was at my peak, when my business was making eight figures

of a year and I was my most stressed. I was so stressed, I felt like a balloon that had been blown to capacity, but you know, you keep blowing and you're like, is this the the Is this the gust of air that will pop it? Oh? Not yet? Okay, what about this one? Like you know you're blown the balloon? Oh wait? Is this it? Is this gonna pop the balloon?

And you don't know. Day by day you're putting a little bit more air into a balloon that's already a capacity and you don't know the day that it's going to pop, but you know one day it will if you continue. And what happens is, especially as you start to get success, is that if you're not careful, you

will lose control of your own life. That your business, your job, the thing that's bringing you success will start to be in charge, not you, and you will feel like you are a passenger on a runaway train, knowing that although it is garnering you money and accolades and everything else, it is also careening toward destruction. You can see it and you're like, I don't know how to get off. And if this sounds like you, you're probably nodding like yeah, see, I say I've been there or

I'm there now. And it's really scary because you know, not if, but when. When Will I crash? When will this balloon pop? Will it be my health? Will I have a heart attack? Will I break down? Will I have a mental breakdown? Will I make a mistake and destroy everything? You just know when? And it is the scariest thing because you don't know what to do to

stop it. And I didn't know what to do. And so about three or four years ago, I asked for help because I just was at overwork and overwhelmed to the point where I was like, I think I'm gonna have a heart attack, like on someone around this, because isn't that what high blood pressure at extended period of time will do. I wasn't sleeping, I just I don't know. I just said, I think I'm gonna have a heart attack or something. My body is going to break down. And so I started to ask for help, and I

knew I needed help in two places. One in business, so I got a business coach, and then two I got a therapist. And I had a therapist in college when I was having a really hard time and so but I knew I needed something, and so the business coach helped a lot in restructuring the business, and certainly it helped. But the biggest thing I took away from the business coach is that the way I was managing

the business was not sustainable. So certainly the business coach helped me to like restructure and see parts of the team and the company that need to adjust. But I realized that like, okay, that like this is great, and certainly the business is doing better and the people are on my team you know what to do, and we

have a real underlying business. Like as a result of my business coach, I have a really good fundamental business like currently right now I'm talking about HR I'm talking about benefits, I'm talking about matching program for their four one K I'm talking about employee handbook, I'm talking about KPIs, I'm talking about you know what I mean like under like I'm not you know, I do not just like

out here budget lisa ing or social media ing. No, no, no, I have a really good, underlying, fundamental sellable business like this is a hardcore business. The business coach helped me to get there, which is great, but it also made me realize that like I could not systemize and organize my way out of what I was really feeling, which is this is still too much. And that's where the

therapist came in. She had me kind of take a look at the life that I was living versus the life that I wanted to live and learning to have the courage to ask myself of that life. And it was really hard because there would have to be a lot of undoing, you know, and a lot of disappointing of people, a lot of pulling back. Everyone had expectations of me, and I had expectations of myself that I didn't want to meet anymore. But I was too scared to say. And it took really to really shake me

up because I was tiptoeing towards shifting. But what really shook me up was when my husband passed away, to suddenly everything that I was slowly tiptoeing and working toward I did overnight because all the excuses I made before about why I couldn't do a thing were gone, because nothing brings more clarity like death and loss. Because I was like, wait, why am I doing this again? Like little honestly, I was anesome. I don't give a book

like that's what it was. I was really on some out there's nothing I care about right now, I lost my person. Whatever y'all talking about Kick Rocks. That's how I felt everyone kick Cook Rocks, all this old timma expectation, Kick Rocks on expectation, Kick Rocks, and I gotta do. I don't owe you anything like my person is gone. And so it brought so much clarity. In that year I cleaned house. I let go of more than half my team. Some people, just a handful of them I

felt bad about because they were delivering. But it's just that we didn't have the capacity. So there is a handful of people I felt bad about, but the vast majority needed to go. They been needed to go. So it was like Kick Rocks his ride. Y'all stay mad at me. Keep my name out of your mouth, thoup, because let me tell you something about my name in this industry. I'm not somebody who you want to drag. You don't

know who I know and who I've held. So everybody keep it cute, and I'll keep it cute too, And be mindful of who you tell that you work for me, because I'm gonna be honest. Like I had to tell a couple people, I see you got my name on your site, which is cool, But if someone reaches out to me, just know I'm gonna be honest about your time here. As long as you okay with me being honest about your time here, continue to keep my name

on your site. I can't toward tell you how many people took my name off their site because they know the work that they didn't do while they were here. Right, so a different Tiffany came out. I didn't know how to set boundaries before I let people walk all over me. She's gone, you know. And I was slowly tiptoeing toward that, and I wish I would have got to that per

place sooner. The space that I am in now. Book launch had me a little bit stressed, as y'all know, Like my book Made Home, the workbook version of Get You with Money came out in November, so there was about a month to two months of like, it was a pretty hectic time. But besides that, your girl's not doing all that I'm not. I mean, there are pulls on me and I'm like, then you do it. You want to done, so you do it. Like I said, clear boundaries from family to business to I just have

to get rid of a potential partnership. The other day, I said, yeah, this doesn't seem fair and it's not aligned. Sorry. Oh no, no, I said, no, sorry, But you will though, because people will pull you to the depths of the dirt and then when your body is broken, they will step over it to then suck somebody else dry. It's not happening anymore, I said, clear boundaries. I don't want to do it. Pick somebody else. You know, I'm nicer

about it if you allow me to. But if you can't hear that you will, you're gonna feel I don't want to do it. Sorry, my mind's been made up. This is the language I use now when like someone's not listening, So I start off with thank you so much. It's not really a lot. Oh you don't listening. No, I'm okay with people being okay. Drell my late husband

used to always say, and I didn't get it. He would always say, I'd rather you be mad at me than me be mad at you, meaning like, if one of us got to be this point, it let it be you. Let it be you. Why should I break my back so you could be okay? Okay? You know,

like I am. I am all for equity. I believe in fairness, but what I realize is oftentimes I'm the only one at the table navigating from that place, and so once I peak game that you would let me drown just so you can have your space in the sun. Oh it's on by, you know. And so as a result of that, I have way more peace. I just did an interview with The New Yorker the other day, and like she was asking me about, like what my day is a successful entrepreneur looks like my day starts

at ten and ends at three. I starts at ten am. That's when my first quote unquote meeting or whatever starts, because it takes typically like a two hour walk in the morning. I like to have a slow morning, you know, everybody can wait. And then at three, this is the average day, you know, not during book launch or whatever, but during the average day. At three, I'm done. No meetings, no, no podcasts, no this, no that. No fit within the

confines of the boundaries that I've set. I don't take meetings on Wednesdays, and I don't work on Fridays, and I typically and I don't work weekends. Fit within the confounds of the boundaries that I've set. Depending on where you are in life, in business, or whatever, you might not be able to have these boundaries, but you can set some boundaries. It takes practice, it might take some

therapy to figure out why you're not setting it. But you are deserving of setting healthy boundaries for yourself because if you don't, you will be filled beyond capacity until you pop to what end? To what end? You know? And I am always viciously vetting, like I'm looking at my life now and I'm like, what other things don't suit me? And I'm making some tremendous changes as a result. You're gonna see some major changes in the next year. I'm like, I don't want to do that anymore. Oh

you should. I don't want to do it anymore. And I'm making changes not to have to. You know, like, I'm forty four now. I still got my knees, my bag, you know, I can still run. You know, I still got my hairline, you know, good skin, child? What I don't know if I wasting these cute years? You know? Now I want to travel more. I want to do my work, my book again, my children's book. I want to do a series. You know, there are things that

I want to do that. In order to have to do them, I have to clear space, and so I'm intentionally clearing space. And step one in recreating and unlifting this burden of overwork and overwhelmed is to one acknowledge this is not how I want it to go. Say it out loud to yourself, tell your best, to tell someone. That is step one. This is not how I wanted to go, this is not what I I don't like it here, that's okay, say it, cry about it, or whatever you gotta do. That's step one. Step two is

to admit I need help. I'm not sure actually how to get out from this? I need help. Step two is to say need help, and then step three is to go find it. Is it a business coach, is it a therapist? Is it my bestie? Is it my mama? Is it my whatever that looks like? Ask for it. Seek out the guides that you're going to need to help navigate the process. I am the queen of asking for help. Now, why should I figure it out my own That might take me ten years, when with doctor

Green it takes me ten months. Ask for help. You are deserving. Ask for help. That's step three. Ask for help, ask for help, ask for help. Then step four to start to put the help into practice. Doctor Green gives me homework to do. I do it because what are we doing? Like literally, there are things with doctor Green that I was able to break the habits in ten months that I have been navigating since I was ten

years old. Thirty years work it and through a thing, and in ten months me and doctor Green broke it, broke the habit. I'm like, damn, I don't want to spend thirty years working on a thing when I could spend three months navigating and breaking it. So I put

I do the work. She gives me homework. I do the work right, and then five like celebrate your wins and acknowledge like the like give awareness to the thing, like wow, I'm now training for a five K even though I probably could do one now if I will't because I walk like five miles a day. But I wanted to take my health to the next level. And I said to myself, like I need something to reach toward. So y'all gave me this really great app called couch to five K. Thank you so much for the woman

who did that. And so I as I am training. You know, I'm reminding myself to celebrate the awareness, to celebrate how far I've come. Today was like really day one hour, although I've been I was playing with a few apps, but today's my official day one. And as I was like running in the middle of running, because why should I wait until I won the five k? In the middle, I said, look at you. I'm really proud of you, Tiffany. You said you were going to do a thing. You did a thing. You acknowledge that

you didn't like where you were physically. You said I need help. That's number two. Three. You ask for help right here on this podcast for a guide for help. Y'all gave me apps. I'm now using it right then, I'm doing what the help told me to do. That's four. And then five, I am celebrating the awareness and the progress, you know, and then you repeat, that's it. If you want to see yourself move forward, if you want to break past this burnout, if you want to keep beyond

where you are now, those are the steps. We are not meant to go this alone. You're not. One of my friends has this quote that he always says that the lone wolf perish in the winter but the pack survives. Did you hear what I said? I said, the lone wolf perishes in the winter, but the pack survives. What does that mean? It means that you might survive on your own in spring and fall, right even in summer. Okay, cute, But eventually winter comes a time that's too hard to

navigate by yourself. You will not survive it, not successfully. You know, I don't care how much money you have, how much influence, how much beauty, how much talent. I don't care. At some point you need people. The sooner you get good at asking for help, the faster you get to where you're going. There's an African proverb. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others, ask for help. Okay, So, like when you see your girl out here like this

year alone, I have lived it up. I went to Kenya in January, Egypt in March, Paris, London, the Amafi Coast in was that August, No, that was October, and a bunch of other places in between, none of which I shared on social media, because girl, I don't care.

But I share that I have been living in the fullness that life has to offer me because life taught me a valuable lesson that at some point you will lose the things that you love, whether it's your favorite pair of shoes or your favorite person, at some point, you will lose the things that you love. Are you maximizing your time with those things? I love to travel, I love my friends, I love my family. You know,

I love doing this podcast. I love Mandy Am. I maximizing the time, the blessed treasure time that I have. And you can't do that if you are wasting it away on things don't bring you joy and peace and happiness. Certainly as adults, there are things that we must do, you know, as adults. But beyond that, so many of us are spending time on things that not only don't we have to do them, it doesn't even enjoy alignment or happiness. You know, I'm off that, and I hope

that you're off that too. Okay, Well, before we take a quick break, just remind remember if you are a businesswoman, especially if you're a black woman in business, and you would like some guidance, you know, I mentor via the Patreon platform. I'm under my mentor Tiffany dot com, so you can join us there's twenty bucks a month depending when you listen to this, but it'll probably be there for a while. Twenty bucks a month, and I do a class once a month, I give resources every week,

I bring in guest speakers. I keep it at that price point because so many people are wanting mentors and I don't want stress, because I enjoy doing that. And I will continue to mentor there until I don't feel like it anymore and it doesn't bring me joy. I'll get this good. Go ahead on over to mymenttor tippany dot com if you're looking for mentorships specifically for business owners, especially women, especially black women. But I don't turn anyone away.

That's just like I center black women over there. You know, although the advice is good no matter who you are. Bye,